If Only Thinking (How and WHY To Stop)

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  • Опубликовано: 7 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 40

  • @bonnieanderson9718
    @bonnieanderson9718 2 года назад +5

    I have gotten better with shifting my thinking. I appreciate the reinforcement and reminders of what works and what does not work. Letting go and setting a time to find solutions.

  • @tisome52
    @tisome52 2 года назад +1

    I just found this jewel of a channel. I am powerless over my daughter’s cancer diagnosis and treatments. Thank you

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад +1

      You are so welcome. So sorry to hear about your daughter's diagnosis :(. Wishing you and her health and healing.

  • @memms6161
    @memms6161 2 года назад +1

    This is my very first comment on RUclips over 10 years of using it (the idea of my personal opinion being read by even a couple of people gives me extreme anxiety) but just wanted to say that your channel is pure gold, what you share with us should be common knowledge and a subject taught in school.
    I've struggled with mental health issues for years and can not afford therapy unfortunately, I've looked extensively online but is a jungle out there, but I found your channel and it is really making a difference for me, so thank you very much for all your effort and time and for making this powerful knowledge accessible for everyone! 🌸

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад

      It touches my heart that you wrote this comment :). Thank you so much and I hope the videos are super helpful!!

  • @ambreennadeem9169
    @ambreennadeem9169 2 года назад +2

    I will try accepting the powerlessness

  • @natashavanderheever5327
    @natashavanderheever5327 2 года назад +1

    I literally want to watch this again and meditate on all the advice. This is so insanely in tune with what I deal with.
    Thanks for sharing Barbara 👍

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад

      You're so welcome! Thank you for letting me know how much it resonated!

  • @ziggy6353
    @ziggy6353 2 года назад +2

    I have thoughts often of…if only I would have saved my extra earnings at a particular time I would have had a better chance of using it as a down payment to one day own something. I struggle with wanting more security since I’m single and renting. My goal is to begin saving a designated amount and or increase my hours at work. All my problems do go away when I realize the present moment though 😉. Thank you for your little pop- up videos. It feels good to know I’m not alone in my crazy thinking.
    Funny…my friend has her house paid off, has a second home as a rental, works full time and is so unhappy because she says she’s broke.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад

      Yes, your last sentence brings it home, right?! I didn't bring up the "if only" concept of regret - but that is a biggie... So wonderful your present moment practice helps :)

  • @vinodsingh-gr1xj
    @vinodsingh-gr1xj 2 года назад

    Ma'am I was overthinking over unwanted situations or about future without finding solution, because we don't know what future is , ofcourse livelihood and money to sustain, I have been listening your talks from couple of months,when I am low or depressed, I am from India. Thankyou ma'am Barbara Heffernan,

  • @gonziespinoza8790
    @gonziespinoza8790 2 года назад +1

    Ms. B, right now watching this video is awesome! Thank you!

  • @jeaniechan8543
    @jeaniechan8543 2 года назад

    This is a super super helpful video! Amazing the manner are able to present in such a clear and logical manner. Thsnk you so much!!

  • @liviaoliveira5089
    @liviaoliveira5089 2 года назад +1

    This is amazing! Thank you so much for the video

  • @bethtrautmann6901
    @bethtrautmann6901 2 года назад +1

    Very helpful. I look forward to your exploring this topic with more details . Another excellent video. Thanks.

  • @jonhumble7199
    @jonhumble7199 2 года назад

    I love your channel and sage advice!

  • @mythoughts6922
    @mythoughts6922 2 года назад +2

    " If only, I did not have GAD, PTSD and OCD!

  • @bonnieshirk2747
    @bonnieshirk2747 2 года назад

    Thank you so much! You are awesome!

  • @justgwan
    @justgwan 2 года назад +1

    Thank you🙏🏾

  • @ahmedmashaly8628
    @ahmedmashaly8628 2 года назад

    Very good really helpful 🌹

  • @gmansard641
    @gmansard641 2 года назад +1

    I have been looking for some time about Treatment Resistant Depression, and have seen a number of your videos. I like what you say, and your approach is relaxed and very non-confrontational.
    That being said, I still haven't found any treatment for my depression, which has been here for the past few years.
    I am 58, and have dealt with it much of my life. Therapy never did much, but for many years (20+) medication was effective. But it's not working any more. I have tried several different medications (6-7) the past few years and all I get are the side effects with none of the benefits. That's in addition to the several different medications I experimented with in previous years, come to 12-13 total.
    I have been doing therapy for over two years now (2 different people) and am going nowhere. It's nice to talk to someone, it briefly feels better getting some validation for my frustrations, but nothing really improves.
    Talking to therapists, watching videos like this aren't really teaching me anything I didn't already know, and haven't already seen for myself.
    Sometimes I am reluctant even to talk about it, because I really have tried everything and it's very discouraging to hear the same list of suggestions that I have already tried and know are not effective. And yes, I have been persistent, I don't give up after trying something only briefly.
    It's just that nothing works and it is wearing me down. I am feeling more and more desperate and exhausted.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад +1

      Hi G: So sorry to hear how you are struggling. I am not a specialist in depression - my focus has mainly been in anxiety and trauma. Yale is doing some interesting work with treatment resistant depression, and some alternative treatments such as ketamine; there is also good research around ECT. I am not in any way suggesting either of these - and truly can't give advice via social media - but I did want to respond. The other thing that I think sometimes is needed is very deep trauma work - CBT is very limited in this area, and EMDR is more effective here... Wanted you to know I hear you.

    • @jeanettedorfman5872
      @jeanettedorfman5872 2 года назад +1

      I could have written your comment because I’ve had exactly the same experience, and was at the point where even gratitude didn’t seem to work because while I could understand intellectually that I had much to be grateful for I couldn’t access those feelings. I seemed to only be able to access fear, sadness, guilt, and numbness. I consider myself to be in remission now. Please take everything I’m about to say with a grain of salt because I don’t condone any of this and I have no credentials at all. This is what worked for me but may not be right for you. Ask your doctor before trying any of this because I’m just a random person on the internet. These are the tools that are currently working for me. The most profound one was I read “How to Change Your Mind” by Michael Pollen, I received some EMDR during a serious downturn for about a month. I meditate regularly, and when I can’t do that because my mind is too busy, I listen to guided meditation and hypnosis on RUclips. I listen to the crappy childhood fairy here on RUclips, and I utilize “the work” by Byron Katie. Almost all of these are free resources that hopefully will bolster your current treatments. You are not alone. There are definitely tools that work. I knew I was depressed, but when I came out of it I realized how profound and long I’d been depressed and was shocked. I was starting to think that those things were normal- like getting tired every day midday. There are hundreds of amazing resources and new ones arising every day. You will find what works for you if you keep exploring pages like this. May you be well in spirit, body, and mind.

    • @gmansard641
      @gmansard641 2 года назад

      @@BarbaraHeffernan Thank you for the reply, it is good to hear some acknowledgement. I think CBT has been ineffective here, with one therapy experience I often got very angry because it felt like he was telling me it wasn't really happening and that I needed to stop caring.
      This has been very rare! Therapy has generally been ineffective rather than negative.
      I am now thinking about asking my doctor about some of the alternatives you mentioned, hopefully they will be available. My access to such options is limited.
      Thank you for your concern.

  • @rockymountain1444
    @rockymountain1444 2 года назад +1

    First identify the problem by observing mind fully aware then solve it don't procrastinate........,...

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 2 года назад

    Thank you. i like your train of thought. Mind you, I'm no couch potato 😊

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 2 года назад

    No matter how I thought , I will die w/ o the operation

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 2 года назад

    Stuck on wheels makes active living somewhat harder than on two feet. If only is an option. If only can become reality

  • @mariamkinen8036
    @mariamkinen8036 2 года назад +1

    I'm not a Buddhist. I like pantheism , though.

  • @carolchandler8992
    @carolchandler8992 2 года назад +1

    Now I've got the song stuck in my head, but it might actually be a great reminder.
    "If only, if only, " the woodpecker sighs
    "The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies"
    As the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
    He cries to the moo-oo-oon, "If only, if only"