I feel that this is something I wish I'd started working on much sooner. But I think that when I am healed it will give me an unbelievable sense of inner peace. Thank you Barabara. :)
I think it’s a supremely kind approach, one I wish I had heard of long ago. But at age 72, I tend tend to think it’s far too late. I am exhausted after decades of pummeling myself and have no more energy.
How would you go about healing an inner critical voice that has a lifetime's worth of subject matter to go on because my face is disfigured since birth...
I have discovered that by doing the action, even if don't believe it's going to work is going to produce good results eventually. Drag the body and the mind will follow.
I had horrible anxiety and depression as a kid. I would push people away because I didn't feel like socializing because I felt horrible. I grew up in a very hostile environment as a kid and my mom was really verbally abusive. I pushed people away because I wasn't being myself...my head was full of negative self talk. I couldn't be my fun funny self and i thought I'd bore them. I had anxiety, and then I developed social anxiety because I thought I was boring because I was so depressed and didn't want to socialize. I couldn't be myself...it became a vicious cycle...I didn't have support at home and I was scared to open up to anyone. Geeeesh louise. This too shall pass. I am loveable. I was just so hurt and I shut down. I will beat this. 😊
@@fredharvey2720 i too had bad expeeriences as a child. I am 64 and i recovered from trauma couple of years ago only...... I lost major part of my life.... due to my parents... 😘
Your approach to healing is wonderful, for those of us with a lot of negative self talk are best served by learning compassion and love for ourselves because the source of our negativity likely came from a "lack of" compassion or love from others who were important in our lives. Thank you!
Barbara, you are freaking me out. I just got done watching your enmeshment video. My name is Joe and I am a goofy kid who felt exiled in middle school, currently trying to be a good Uncle Joe to a very enmeshed nephew and niece... *goosebumps*
Thank you for making videos to help us understand what's going on and how to begin to think about and respond in these situations! You pack so much info into all of your videos, but it works together so smoothly. From this one, I know I can start to show some TLC to my Inner Critic instead of feeling bad about what it's telling me!
Omg, this is so insightful. Not to brag, but I live in a area code where the norn is us seeing Ferraris, Porches and Mercedes vehicles every hour. It doesnt impress me though. My nervous system still reacts like I still live in an War Zone, so I work from home and dont go out as much as most people. CPTSD from growing up in a violent alcoholic drug addicted childhood home, is a daily grinding experience. Some days andiety and agoraphobia is lower than usual. To my credit, I managed go to two festivals withing the last month. Yay!😊
Barbara, you are unbelievable! As if you were in my head these past years. It is something of a comfort apparently I am not alone in my thoughts. We must have dated in a prior life or parallel universe. lol, Time for a retreat if it were possible.
My therapist taught me, when your negative critic starts to talk bad to you. Talk to your critic, by reframing its own narrative. Self compassion helps a lot. Learning to laugh at yourself, she would call it. Setting emotional boundaries, on your A.N.T.S. (automatic negative thoughts) setting boundaries allows you, to be mindful of your own emotional expressions without being blatantly disrespectful towards others. But if I am ever disrespectful...Mama Domma comin' for that jugular
Hello Barbara,I'm new OMG joy...I'm so far from Joy I honestly cannot remember Well now that I'm typing on my Phone . Actually, if I had to Guess i think I felt some Joy when I was a Buddhist as well, though I'm thinking perhaps not The same sect as you ( I'm just guessing) I used to chant Morning & evening This is many years of ago It's getting difficult to type My right hand/arm is in a sling.
Hi Marilyn: How wonderful that you have experiences in your past that led you to more joy - that is such a rich field to pull from to figure out what to do next!
Hi: I take on only a very limited number of 1:1 coaching clients, Info here:www.awakenjoy.life/1-on-1-coaching, and logistics of working with me here:www.awakenjoy.life/contact
Dear Barbara, thank you so much. I'm finding your videos so encouraging! Your tone and style and suggestions are very nourishing and non-judgemental. I have a question: after my last very painful breakup I realised I can easily interpret my life/relationships/choices through the lens of CPTSD. I've had a long list of family severely traumatic events that makes it impossible to ignore. I started reading books about complex trauma, and came across Pete Walker's core idea of 'angering' against the inner critic/inner parental figure in a sustained way for quite a long time. He states that it is the initial fundamental phase of recovery from CPTSD. I have tried and tried, but I find it incredibly tough/fake and it also feels like attacking a part of myself. What do you think of this strategy? Thank you :)
Hi: So glad you are finding my videos encouraging! I am not familiar with Pete Walker. Most of the paradigms I have learned and utilized for myself and my clients have been the opposite - embracing the inner critic, who arose to protect us... even if it takes a destructive approach - ... I also think different approaches can work for different people so I encourage you to trust your intuition and find something that works for you!
I think those things help. In my experience, working with "reasonable" positive beliefs is more effective long term than affirmations, but there are many different methods!
Could you please help clarify: How could someone who received a lot of love in their childhood be so needy of receiving love as an adult? And how could you be so fearful of betrayal when you never experienced parental divorce, parents leaving, loss of a parent etc.?
I couldn't say! there are a number of things that make it hard to concentrate... anxiety, adhd, medical... might be worth discussing with a doctor or therapist. Wishing you the best!
How do you feel about HEALING your inner critical voice, instead of conquering it?
I feel that this is something I wish I'd started working on much sooner. But I think that when I am healed it will give me an unbelievable sense of inner peace. Thank you Barabara. :)
I think it’s a supremely kind approach, one I wish I had heard of long ago. But at age 72, I tend tend to think it’s far too late. I am exhausted after decades of pummeling myself and have no more energy.
How would you go about healing an inner critical voice that has a lifetime's worth of subject matter to go on because my face is disfigured since birth...
this hits home so much!!!!!. thank you!!!i can only wish you more success and power.
That feels a lot better
I have discovered that by doing the action, even if don't believe it's going to work is going to produce good results eventually. Drag the body and the mind will follow.
Yes!
This is my first impression, thank you so much for your comment.
thank for this, Mr. Heffernan. You are creating an impact to the world. God bless!
I had horrible anxiety and depression as a kid. I would push people away because I didn't feel like socializing because I felt horrible. I grew up in a very hostile environment as a kid and my mom was really verbally abusive. I pushed people away because I wasn't being myself...my head was full of negative self talk. I couldn't be my fun funny self and i thought I'd bore them. I had anxiety, and then I developed social anxiety because I thought I was boring because I was so depressed and didn't want to socialize. I couldn't be myself...it became a vicious cycle...I didn't have support at home and I was scared to open up to anyone. Geeeesh louise. This too shall pass. I am loveable. I was just so hurt and I shut down. I will beat this. 😊
Brave and courageous person, well done on your awareness and self observations. You've come this far, this will definitely help you further.
I'm sorry you went through that
@@fredharvey2720 i too had bad expeeriences as a child. I am 64 and i recovered from trauma couple of years ago only...... I lost major part of my life.... due to my parents... 😘
@@asasinambiar6860 I'm sorry
Your approach to healing is wonderful, for those of us with a lot of negative self talk are best served by learning compassion and love for ourselves because the source of our negativity likely came from a "lack of" compassion or love from others who were important in our lives.
Thank you!
Yes!
Very true, self talk is very important to reconcile one self. It's a continuous process to adopt..Thanks Barbara
It really is!
I'm very grateful for your videos on your RUclips channel ❤
Outstanding ❤❤❤ Thanks!!
So glad they are helpful! Thank you for letting me know!
@@BarbaraHeffernan I would like more information on EMDR Therapy how you can help yourself. And Barbara do you provide consultation?
YOU are a blessing. The only way out is IN. I love this and am so grateful to have you as a resource!
Wow, thank you for letting me know :)
Great talk and explanation of concept Mam, almost on similar lines, the talk by sister BK Shivani of Brahma Kumaris...
Barbara, you are freaking me out. I just got done watching your enmeshment video. My name is Joe and I am a goofy kid who felt exiled in middle school, currently trying to be a good Uncle Joe to a very enmeshed nephew and niece...
*goosebumps*
🤣 how lucky your niece and nephew are too have you!
Thank you so much for this, Ms. Hefferman. Please know that you are making so much difference in the world. ❤
I cannot stop crying listening to this....Thank you...it is intense...Thank you
I SO hope it is helpful. Wishing you health and healing, Barbara
Thank you for making videos to help us understand what's going on and how to begin to think about and respond in these situations! You pack so much info into all of your videos, but it works together so smoothly. From this one, I know I can start to show some TLC to my Inner Critic instead of feeling bad about what it's telling me!
Awesome!!
Thanks for everything you are putting out
I consider my inner voice to be just n righteous . Very pragmatic.
I am so happy I found your channel!Sending warm greetings from Greece.
Welcome!! Glad you are here. I've loved my visits to your beautiful country.
Thank you 🙏🙏
Thank you...
Omg, this is so insightful.
Not to brag, but I live in a area code where the norn is us seeing Ferraris, Porches and Mercedes vehicles every hour. It doesnt impress me though.
My nervous system still reacts like I still live in an War Zone, so I work from home and dont go out as much as most people.
CPTSD from growing up in a violent alcoholic drug addicted childhood home, is a daily grinding experience. Some days andiety and agoraphobia is lower than usual. To my credit, I managed go to two festivals withing the last month. Yay!😊
Excellent insights, very helpful indeed. Your information has brought me far.
Great to hear!
I'm so glad I discovered your channel
Awesome! Terrific that you are accessing resources and bringing them to your therapist in an active way!!
maam you are such an angle who saves us.thankyou so much
Thank you for your sweet comment!
Healing ❤️🩹 sounds great
I came across you looking for help to see if I want to go down the emdr path. You have been a big help in many areas. I appreciate you.
Thank you so much for letting me know! I hope the material continues to be helpful for you!
Thanks for the excellent video Barbara. You are so insightful!
You are so welcome!
Barbara, you are unbelievable! As if you were in my head these past years. It is something of a comfort apparently I am not alone in my thoughts. We must have dated in a prior life or parallel universe. lol, Time for a retreat if it were possible.
You helped me a lot thank you
Glad I could help!
Your work is vitally important Barbara.🤩🔥
Thank you so much, Pete!
Nice madam really soothing and energetic
So nice of you!
Wow!! I've watched two of your videos and I have learnt so much already😲. Thankyou
I'm so glad! Thanks for letting me know!
It’s great and always interesting to listen to your talks. I take notes all the times 👍🏻☀️🎏💚
Wonderful! Thanks for letting me know!
Thank you Barbara. Watching this was profound for me!
Wonderful! I'm so glad it was helpful!
absolutely correct
👍🤗
My therapist taught me, when your negative critic starts to talk bad to you. Talk to your critic, by reframing its own narrative. Self compassion helps a lot. Learning to laugh at yourself, she would call it. Setting emotional boundaries, on your A.N.T.S. (automatic negative thoughts) setting boundaries allows you, to be mindful of your own emotional expressions without being blatantly disrespectful towards others. But if I am ever disrespectful...Mama Domma comin' for that jugular
Another great video. Very inspiring. I will use it for my EMDR work. Thank you so much❣️
Terrific! You are welcome and thank you for doing this work as well!
This seems very helpful, thank you
You are welcome! I hope it helps!
Thanks Barbara - always so helpful.
So glad it is helpful for you!
you are wonderful!! SO helpful!!
Thank you so much for letting me know - it is very helpful for me to know my videos help. Wishing you health and healing, Barbara
Finding a lot of value in these videos.
I'm so pleased to hear that. Thank you for letting me know!
Very helpful👏👏👏👏 Thank you!
So glad it was helpful!
Hey Barbara
😀
Great perspective and explanations. I really wanted to read the pdf but it wouldn't download by clicking on download button.
Hi Kathryn: Please check your download file. It goes right into there sometimes. Hope that helps!
Hello Barbara,I'm new
OMG joy...I'm so far from
Joy I honestly cannot remember
Well now that I'm typing on my
Phone . Actually, if I had to
Guess i think I felt some
Joy when I was a
Buddhist as well, though
I'm thinking perhaps not
The same sect as you
( I'm just guessing)
I used to chant
Morning & evening
This is many years of ago
It's getting difficult to type
My right hand/arm is in a sling.
Hi Marilyn: How wonderful that you have experiences in your past that led you to more joy - that is such a rich field to pull from to figure out what to do next!
Thank you Barbara, I sure hope I get to have some sessions with you in the future. Are you taking new clients by the way?
Hi: I take on only a very limited number of 1:1 coaching clients, Info here:www.awakenjoy.life/1-on-1-coaching, and logistics of working with me here:www.awakenjoy.life/contact
Dear Barbara, thank you so much. I'm finding your videos so encouraging! Your tone and style and suggestions are very nourishing and non-judgemental. I have a question: after my last very painful breakup I realised I can easily interpret my life/relationships/choices through the lens of CPTSD. I've had a long list of family severely traumatic events that makes it impossible to ignore. I started reading books about complex trauma, and came across Pete Walker's core idea of 'angering' against the inner critic/inner parental figure in a sustained way for quite a long time. He states that it is the initial fundamental phase of recovery from CPTSD. I have tried and tried, but I find it incredibly tough/fake and it also feels like attacking a part of myself. What do you think of this strategy? Thank you :)
Hi: So glad you are finding my videos encouraging! I am not familiar with Pete Walker. Most of the paradigms I have learned and utilized for myself and my clients have been the opposite - embracing the inner critic, who arose to protect us... even if it takes a destructive approach - ... I also think different approaches can work for different people so I encourage you to trust your intuition and find something that works for you!
@@BarbaraHeffernan Thank you so much Barbara :)
Could positive affirmations and reprogramming the subconscious mind meditations help to convert our negative self talk to positive ?🙏
I think those things help. In my experience, working with "reasonable" positive beliefs is more effective long term than affirmations, but there are many different methods!
Could you please help clarify:
How could someone who received a lot of love in their childhood be so needy of receiving love as an adult?
And how could you be so fearful of betrayal when you never experienced parental divorce, parents leaving, loss of a parent etc.?
I fear . Life with DANGEROUS ppl ,rather, requires a louder inner voice
hi barbara you have deep knoledege it is all that happening to me
So sorry to hear you experience this, but I hope the video is helpful!
Conquer "your" inner voice? Or help a kid to conquer theirs?
Y do i suffer with concentration
I couldn't say! there are a number of things that make it hard to concentrate... anxiety, adhd, medical... might be worth discussing with a doctor or therapist. Wishing you the best!
I just took a minute to really observe and listen to my inner critic.. Wow, she's nuts, she's awful 😅 I feel better that im not her 😂
❤️😂