Does CBT Help if I Have Real Problems?

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  • Опубликовано: 7 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 80

  • @qwerty9797
    @qwerty9797 Год назад +57

    CBT really puts the cart before the horse. It's not the negative thoughts that are resulting in me always getting left out in my friend groups; it's my lack of childhood socialization and inability to form meaningful interpersonal relations. What I need is to gain some social skills and a more sensible friend group. Not CBT where I get told that only if I change my thinking my problem would get resolved. My thinking about being a social outcast *came after and not before* I realized I was getting left behind.

    • @dajonsson
      @dajonsson 11 месяцев назад

      As i understood it is mostly about changing behaviour, not thoughts, she often repeats thst it is not easy to change thoughts. But if you change behaviour and go out to places unusual for you so you might find a new circle of people with other temper or interests. Or you can experiment with changing behavour in talking / listening proportion for 1 month, it is another example.

    • @dajonsson
      @dajonsson 11 месяцев назад

      ruclips.net/video/3VIL1L_ypMg/видео.htmlsi=36DJMa1AcOV4JOm3

    • @Ogulcan13
      @Ogulcan13 6 месяцев назад +5

      CBT is just focusing on thoughts and this makes me sick. They say it is evident-based but no. It is all about earning money from people who are desperate. I hope one day Dr. Burns will lose everything he has and someone will say to him "JuSt ReFrAme YoUr ThOugHts to feel good"

    • @danika9411
      @danika9411 2 месяца назад +2

      ​@@dajonsson No it's focussing on thoughts. You have a diary where you reframe your thoughts. The problem is when not the thoughts are the problem, but your environment. F.e. there was addiction and violence in my family. I developed anxiety. Reframing didn't make me less anxious, because I was still living in bad conditions. I needed to get to a safe environment.

    • @brendamobley
      @brendamobley 2 месяца назад +1

      ​@@danika9411Well here's the thing. I was in unsafe and unhealthy conditions and my healthcare providers still wanted to send me to therapy anyway. And I'm physically disabled now. It's just a bunch of gaslighting. My cancer and the following problems are all in my chart, but I'm getting treated like they're all in my head, by people who don't have a copy of my chart.

  • @ishathakor
    @ishathakor Год назад +24

    i have depression, (generalized) anxiety, adhd, and ptsd. i did cbt for about 3 months (weekly). then i switched therapists (my first one was terrible) and did cbt again for 2 months. i would say cbt is a complete waste of time for anyone whose problems are more complex than "sometimes i have negative emotions" and "sometimes i feel bad". explaining the way cbt treatment was going to work made me feel like my therapists were telling me i don't have any "real" problems. the way cbt was explained to me (though i also get this impression from googling) is that you're just assuming all my problems are self-created and if i think and act differently, i will un-create them. this is not the case for me and many other people.
    in my case, i have trauma from my childhood and i've been dealing with depression and anxiety since i was 11-12 ish years old. i had even tried to explain to both my therapists that i already TRIED the power of positive thinking and behaviour change (i am 24, so it's been a while) and it didn't do anything for me. i was dismissed. when i told them that their cbt strategies weren't working for me even though i was altering my behaviour and conscious thoughts just like they said, they would tell me i'm not doing it right. in reality i don't think it was that i wasn't "doing it right". i think the problem is that i have issues that are much harder to fix than just doing affirmations and deep breathing.
    the idea that some thoughts are "irrational" was also not helpful for me. i was told that i was being "irrational" thinking that i was going to fail my next college semester. this was an insane and wrong thing to say to me because i had failed every single class in the previous semester. yet my therapists insisted that it was an irrational thought. it was based in fact. if anything, it was more rational than thinking i wouldn't fail. i said that i'm bad at time management. i was told this is irrational too, when it's not. i don't start on any of my work unless it's due in a few hours. i am objectively terrible at time management and pretending otherwise would be delusional. my abuser told me she wished i had killed myself. when i relayed this to my therapist she said i was being irrational and she clearly loved me. this one was just plain gaslighting but i think its symptomatic of how far this concept can be taken.
    i also think "there's only a reason to worry when we can identify something that we can do something about" is the wrong philosophy to have. sometimes you really can't do anything and you're already reacting in the best way possible given your situation eg. i'm currently living with my abusers out of necessity. i can't do anything about it but that doesn't mean it's not something to worry about.
    it's just that in most situations where people are really suffering, just changing your thoughts or behaviours doesn't do anything. from about age 16 to age 21, i was coasting on the power of positive thinking. it literally did not do anything for me. my stress and anxiety levels got so high that my resting heart rate climbed to 110 at age 19, with no underlying health issues (i wore a fitbit around 24/7 for 2 weeks to confirm this. it hovered around the high 90s when i was asleep). i thought i was going to die. if i were old enough to drink, i would've easily developed a drinking habit. i attempted suicide a number of times when i was 20-21, AFTER i had spent several years convincing myself i didn't want to die. there was little to fix in my life at the time. i had good friends, i was a straight b student, and i wasn't living with my abusers. i had unknowingly been using the exact same techniques my therapists were teaching me for years and none of them had worked for me because my issues are deep seated.
    it was definitely a case of bad therapist too but the experiences overall left me with medical trauma on top of my childhood trauma.

    • @ami5marion
      @ami5marion Год назад +10

      cbt therapist once said to me that i should be grateful my abuse made me who i am and i overcame it 🥰, other two therapists hit a dead end when i told them my family was abusive. cbt is not for people with real problems like abuse or poverty

    • @skylinefever
      @skylinefever 4 месяца назад

      This is why I saw CBT as motivational bullshit slogans plugs gaslighting.

  • @SSJKamui
    @SSJKamui 7 месяцев назад +11

    My experience. The more real the problem is, the less helpful CBT is.
    I think there are 2 components here. (Maybe 3)
    1. Many CBT therapists have the assumption that your problems are caused by your thoughts and that by changing them you solve your problem.
    Sometimes that is the case. But often its not. It is not completely wrong. Your brain is highly capable of autosuggestive thinking.
    2. A lot of cbt therapists have a highly unethical approach to the topic of happyness which result in an approach of "replace the unrealist thoughts which make you sad with unrealist thoughts you enjoy".
    And many CBT therapists do not understand the purpose of replacement behaviors and Think in a shallow minded was of "Patient does X offen, so x Brings him happyness." Not true.
    3. They often see any negative thoughts as unjustified. Some negative thoughts can be very justified and there is a difference between "I should not have done x , that was stupid" and "I am doing x so I am a bad person"

  • @arielnecessary1615
    @arielnecessary1615 Год назад +24

    I have depression and severe anxiety from my very abusive childhood, and I found that CBT did more harm than good. Blaming me for my problems just reinforced my scapegoat status in childhood. Blaming me for my trauma just made the trauma worse. Dismissing my anxiety with statements like, "Yeah, we know that that's the way you are", has increased my anxiety disorder to terrible proportions. Telling me to do things that I, as an autistic person, cannot do, and blaming me for not being able to do them, increased my depression and hopelessness. I will never do CBT again, no matter how much pain I'm in.

    • @bdml77
      @bdml77 11 месяцев назад +3

      It's new age nonsense

    • @jenny-wk9cu
      @jenny-wk9cu 10 месяцев назад +2

      Hey I urge you to seek out self compassion exercises and your own book on cbt so you can apply what is relevant to you. I too am neurodivergent and found I felt misunderstood by neurotypical mental health professionals.

    • @anynamebutmyrealone
      @anynamebutmyrealone 4 месяца назад +1

      You are completely right! I have the exact same experience.

  • @michaelshannon9169
    @michaelshannon9169 7 месяцев назад +10

    CBT is ideal for the lesser complex, lesser self aware types. We all know the types, no introspection, just a doer. The more introspective and self aware you are the lesser impact it can have.

    • @travelwell6049
      @travelwell6049 7 месяцев назад +2

      My feeling has been that CBT might work for someone who went through a difficult time, and now wants to get back to how they were.
      Rather than someone like me who's suffered with mental health issues for 30 years.

    • @skylinefever
      @skylinefever 4 месяца назад +2

      I called it something for people near the top of Maslow's Pyramid, needing a boost to the top.
      For the rest of us, Maslow's Pyramid is covered with grease and we get mocked for not successfully climbing.

    • @kid-ava
      @kid-ava 3 месяца назад

      ​@@skylinefeverAMEN

  • @breannapiscitelli3941
    @breannapiscitelli3941 Год назад +27

    I will be honest I was very hopeful that cognitive behavioral therapy would work for me. My entire life I’ve been struggling. It’s basically like I was not made for this planet. I never understood why I didn’t fit in and why I dealt with so many issues mentally. For years, I was missed diagnosed with an array of mental illnesses. That never really made sense to me. I actually had someone suggest that maybe I have autism and I looked into it and turns out yep that’s exactly what was wrong.
    The only reason I post this is because cognitive behavioral therapy does not work for people who are Neuro divergent. Our thought process is not the same as a Neurotypical’s. This is definitely something that should be stated. My problems are no more real or not real than the average person but the way that I experienced them is very different than a Neurotypical person.
    I am not trying to diminish the effects of cognitive behavioral therapy for a NeuroTypical person. But I do think it should go without even saying that it’s OK that cognitive behavioral therapy does not work for every single person.
    The other issue is it is so heavily thrown on every single person that goes through the mental health system, that situations like mine happen constantly. I was born in 1994 and at the time I’m pretty sure autism was just discovered and it was not possible, apparently , for females to have it. I also have parents that were pretty close minded about the entire mental health system, let alone their daughter being someone who could be considered the R-word.
    I think a lot more research needs to be done on autism itself, as well as how we can actually help a person with autism. Our brains work very differently, and the lack of understanding about it is very frustrating.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  Год назад +5

      I totally agree that more research is needed on autism, and thank you for pointing out how this is often missed (yes, particularly in females!) and how our mental health systems need to be more flexible to include neurodiversity.

    • @DavidLombardo
      @DavidLombardo Год назад +2

      My symptoms are purely neurological. The mental anxiety, anger, and strange mysterious mood issues are part of the symptoms, not the cause. My cardiologist suggested I get a workup for pheochromocytoma. My metanephrines, AST/ALT/CK, and aldolase were all elevated. Enough to be diagnostic, no - but it was truly actually more helpful to see how my body was malfunctioning, and not necessarily my thoughts.
      I've since learned that diet, sleep, exercise, and drug use (their timing and amount) has been very helpful. I'm still not perfect, but who is?
      The neurologist also found thoracic neurology changes, consistent with a history of Scheuermann's disease, which is like scoliosis. I have no pain, I look great, but no doubt the thoracic nerves in the trunk of that area control the sympathetic nervous system. It's actually bewildering that many people don't know this. Look up a surgery called ets. My doctor said hey I would never recommend it because it's so risky, but in terms of people who have a lot of physical symptoms and anxiety with no known mental anxiety, this could be very much the reason. I sweat, flush, and get agitated pretty easily. And I have my entire life. Perhaps most curious of all, the stimulants seem to help quite a bit.... which is indicative of nervous system dysfunction, the amphetamine, for example helps nerve impulses communicate, paradoxically calming down the nervous system as opposed to ramping up.
      Anyway, this is just to say that talk therapy isn't necessarily unhelpful, or even critical, but it is to say that it is just one actor on a very big stage. You can't have a movie with just one actor, you need the whole cast and crew to make it a story.
      As is the case with so much of life's most critical decisions, only you know what the real answer is, and sometimes it might take a while before you discover it. But it's worth the journey. If you still don't feel right, don't give up looking for the solution.
      As Peppy Hare reminds the ace pilot in all of us - the number one priority, no matter what situation a pilot finds themselves in, is to simply KEEP THE AIRCRAFT FLYING. In the heat of the dogfight, "TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!"
      The priority of the flight deck, from WWII bomber pilots to a modern day Airbus landing in Baltimore, is very simple:
      Aviate, navigate, communicate.
      Such is the mantra of the aviator, and so to in life... First and foremost, keep your aircraft flying.
      Best of luck to you

  • @danika9411
    @danika9411 2 месяца назад +9

    CBT didn't help me. I lived in an unpredictable environment ( addicts in my family, alcohol and pills, sometimes violent ). I went to CBT for anxiety. I needed to get out of there and to a place where I'm safe from harm. My thoughts weren't distorted. They were appropriate for my screwed up living situation.
    CBT didn't help.

    • @HelloHello-vx5rx
      @HelloHello-vx5rx 17 дней назад

      CBT or any other approaches doesnt change how your family behave and doesnt give shelter, any psychoteraphy helps with thoughts and feelings, thats all

    • @danika9411
      @danika9411 17 дней назад

      @@HelloHello-vx5rx Yeah, but if they tell you it's all in your head and it's not so bad, then it starts to cross the line of manipulation. Especially when there IS violence in your surroundings, but it is dismissed. So you start to think as a teenager maybe they are right, maybe I am too sensitive. Which I wasn't.
      I forgot where I read that, but there was a study that showed that around 50% of CBT therapists don't apply the method correctly. And when offered help almost all of them declined.
      Also any psychotherapy that doesn't include a persons surroundings, is tge person safe, how is their living situation ect is doing a bad job. We do not exist in a vacuum.

    • @HelloHello-vx5rx
      @HelloHello-vx5rx 16 дней назад

      @@danika9411 problem is that some specialist doesn't apply CBT well, its fault of method, and when i said that any psychotherapy works only with mind - i meant that they are not who you should ask for security or shelter from, in proper CBT therapists really should help person to find ways out from such dangerous situations, and in situation you described that therapists really gaslighted you and im sorry for that, but what i wanna say is its problem of particular therapists and not the method itself

    • @danika9411
      @danika9411 16 дней назад

      @@HelloHello-vx5rx Even the method is faulty. It promotes that thoughts can change how you feel and that changes behaviour. This might work for something very specific like a phobia, but f.e. not with ptsd. Especially if there is sa in someones past. ( That also happened to me ). The reason, in the method there is no place for the body. It's only thoughts, feelings, behaviour. The body was completly forgotten. And yes the body is it's own area that you can't group into feelings. So the method is at best incomplete. It really needs to be updated and changed. It's outdated.

    • @HelloHello-vx5rx
      @HelloHello-vx5rx 16 дней назад

      @@danika9411 What exactly you mean by body? Body does responce to negative thoughts in fact, so cognitions are cause of body responce, placebo in fact is when we believe that something will have some efect on our body, also when someone will say disgusting things we can start feeling bad in our body, so body isnt something absolutly separate, and if you mean problems with body - so you should go to doctor, not to any psycotherapist at the firtst place.
      About PTSD - there are planty of researchs that show CBT as effective as body based EMDR where they work only with body and eye movment, so CBT does help even in that cases and there are strong scientific evidence for it

  • @cw5437
    @cw5437 2 года назад +9

    Your videos have really helped me through this extremely tough month, especially this video and your rumination video. I have insomnia right now due to stress and grief and watching these videos helps me so much. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. I've never accessed counseling before due to a variety of reasons but these videos have really refocused my negative thinking patterns by giving me some tools to try which have really worked well for me.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад +2

      I'm so pleased to hear how much these videos are helping. I wish you health and healing,

  • @JulietMcArthur
    @JulietMcArthur Год назад +7

    "There's only a reason to worry when we can identify something that we can do something about" about is my issue with CBT. Just because there's no solution or immediate available course if action doesn't poof away the worry, but that's where CBT always falls flat for me.

    • @skylinefever
      @skylinefever 4 месяца назад +2

      I always saw it useless because it weas like "Yeah. I know this thought is irrational. I always knew it was irrational. Saying shot because it's irrational just makes me more miserable about having a thought that is irrational. Give me a mute button for my brain."

    • @JulietMcArthur
      @JulietMcArthur 4 месяца назад +1

      @@skylinefever exactly!

  • @malemaline
    @malemaline 2 года назад +12

    I feel like my therapist is also dismissive.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад

      Sorry to hear that....

    • @7domo7
      @7domo7 Год назад

      Many such 'therapists' are box-tickers who have totally swallowed (introjected?) the CBT ideology and do not integrate the psychodynamic and humanistic wisdom that came before. And the only thing that matters to them is your PHQ-9 score...

  • @addysaw
    @addysaw 2 года назад +1

    Wow your video answered questions that I've had for a long time! Especially illustrating the grief case. Thank you so much!

  • @anynamebutmyrealone
    @anynamebutmyrealone 4 месяца назад +3

    It can be very harmful and contribute to a sense of depersonalisation and detachment. Pretending traumatised behaviour is not “normal” is awful and dehumanising. Steve will make the right decision and take the right action once he heals, you as a therapist are incapable of making the right suggestions as there is no “normal” or right.

  • @marknoahsotelo316
    @marknoahsotelo316 3 месяца назад

    Great video and information! What specifically dontou feel is included in in the deeper trauma work? Is it somatic? Grief work?

  • @stephencaudill2422
    @stephencaudill2422 7 месяцев назад

    The problem with how CBT is taught in grad school, and thus how it is implemented in practice, is that the thinking is way overemphasized. In many cases of real problems changing the behavior is key...

  • @bobastonisher4014
    @bobastonisher4014 3 месяца назад

    As a mental health clinician in training, CBT is far from my first modality of choice for treatment if another one is applicable

  • @hanaamr3685
    @hanaamr3685 2 года назад

    Thanks so much. Lots of love, gratitude and prayers from Egypt

  • @RoseCatMariner
    @RoseCatMariner 28 дней назад

    So if a person is abused, and they change their behavior, they stop being abused. If they think they’ve been sexually assaulted, but reframe their thinking of their assault as an act of “surprise sex,” then the problem is solved. Great to see this take on CBT. It may work for some, but it seems to have turned into a paradigm shift rationalizing victim blaming.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  27 дней назад

      This is not in any way what I said. Not sure why you think that?

    • @RoseCatMariner
      @RoseCatMariner 27 дней назад

      @@BarbaraHeffernan You didn’t say this. And my comment was a bit out of context, so if misinterpreted, I do apologize. I believe that CBT has therapeutic value, but that it has been so widely applied to all branches of psychological treatment to the point at which it results in adverse effects on those experiencing issues such as PTSD, or domestic violence, where the victim may interpret their own actions as being to blame for their abuse. I think that your critical take on CBT was genuinely refreshing since it’s difficult to find professionals who question its approach at all.

  • @franciscordon9230
    @franciscordon9230 11 месяцев назад

    Thanks, very helpful!

  • @TheBrighteyesrn
    @TheBrighteyesrn 2 года назад +2

    Very good description of CBT and how it can intervene in the vicious cycle

  • @stanmil5495
    @stanmil5495 8 месяцев назад +1

    Doesnt work for me all i have ptsd, ocd and depression.
    How on earth do stop flash backs in my sleep or when in expecting them?
    This causes the deppression.
    In life threating situations we ere taught aggression.
    Civilians woulďnt unstand it it kniòw what is give me 7:30 meds

  • @tiffanymartin729
    @tiffanymartin729 2 года назад +1

    Any recommendation for a cbt therapist for me. I'm uninsured.

  • @mariav.s.9324
    @mariav.s.9324 2 года назад +1

    When people doesn't are enrolling in the program and they unsubscribe few times, not necessary to send material to their emails. People can check the videos if they are interested.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад

      Hi Maria: the emails are automated, and it is very easy to unsubscribe - there is a link at the bottom of every email! I do appreciate when people unsubscribe when not interested. Wishing you all the best!

  • @rickturnr
    @rickturnr 2 месяца назад

    Environment affects thinking

  • @hagartarek8303
    @hagartarek8303 2 года назад

    I can’t see the link it is not in the description may you please kindly attach it 🙏🙏🙏

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад

      Here you are:awakenjoy.lpages.co/negative-core-beliefs-pdf/
      Make sure to check your download folder - sometimes it goes right in there.
      And I fixed the comments under the video - thanks for the heads up - I'd missed that! 🙏😃

  • @alleikat01
    @alleikat01 Год назад +1

    Can’t feels dismissive

  • @blushworthyspeaks
    @blushworthyspeaks 6 месяцев назад +1

    Sooooooo you admit that it doesn't, then.

  • @Chloe-w7n
    @Chloe-w7n 6 месяцев назад +1

    Might not be Steve, might be a crappy boss

  • @deborahwatson2730
    @deborahwatson2730 5 месяцев назад +1

    I turned off after the first 5 minutes…what on earth is she rambling about.

  • @Gar96229
    @Gar96229 2 года назад +1

    Honest question:
    What if we are unintelligent, and as a result, are unable to hold a decent paying job, or we are unable to get a qualification?
    I feel as though I’m destined for a life of poverty and sadness

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад +2

      I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way. There are many types of intelligence and many types of skills. Academic performance is not always a good marker of intelligence nor future performance! I wonder if beginning to focus on the strengths you do have could change your perspective?

    • @JoshDTech
      @JoshDTech Год назад +7

      Well, some intelligences pay more financially than others.

  • @olivemugo7973
    @olivemugo7973 2 года назад +2

    I have never gotten that pdf

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  2 года назад +2

      Hi: The download often goes directly into people's download file. Can you double check your download file? The link is working, and it truly is being delivered..... LMK!

  • @ElizabethRichter-o6u
    @ElizabethRichter-o6u 20 дней назад

    Whose problems aren’t real…ever. That’s a strange way to put it.

    • @BarbaraHeffernan
      @BarbaraHeffernan  15 дней назад

      Maybe… this is a direct question I get often!! Or I’ll hear that cbt didn’t work because I had real problems and my therapist just wanted to change how I thought… that’s why I did the video!