What’s Up with Negging?
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- Опубликовано: 10 окт 2024
- Have you ever heard of negging? It’s when a guy intentionally puts a woman down in hopes of making her more vulnerable to his advances. Sounds crazy, right?! Well, it really happens. Watch as the ladies of “The Real” share their stories.
Guys who start with mind games in the beginning usually end up being abusive in the relationship.
Carissa99Xo YES
Carissa99Xo I can vouch for this and say this is ABSOLUTELY true.
in this case the word guy is gender neutral.
I used to see this. And then got blindsided. so though I helped all my girls get to a better and safe place, I'm in my own hell now and there's nobody to get me out. I'm alone, he has his whole family doing it to me too.
Naomi Appleby you are not alone! I know it might seem like that but you are not.
"You don't like this little dress what's goin on" 😫😫😂 love Adrienne
lmao
😂😂
Oh lorrrrrd😂
I just hate mind games, period. Like I can't staaaand the 'delayed reply' game when texting.
Yeah thats just childish.
Yes!! Me too uggh it's so stupid why can't people just be candid about how they r really feelin each other.
I agreed with you until you said "delayed texting". My friend and I just had this convo and sometimes you can't text back right away. Lol!
lashawna moore cos pple don't want to appear needy? Sometimes directness scares people away.
lashawna moore like that song by Rihanna L.O.V.E
"My mum has one just like it"- soon that's not gonna be relevant. Imagine if Beyoncé had a son who said that to you, that would be the biggest compliment ever😂😂😂
E Laulii crazy now that she does have a son🤯😍
This has actually happened to me before. I was at a frat party and one of the guys came up to me and said "you cute, but why you wearing that ugly dress?" I didn't even waste my breath on insulting him back I just got my drink and walked away. He approached me three more times that night, and each time I left before he could open his mouth. If you want to talk to me cool, but do not EVER insult me. I will not waste my time or breath on a "man" who thinks it's cute or cool to insult a woman in the pretense of getting with her. No booboo, side note does anyone know who made Adrienne earrings or where I can buy a similar pair?
ThePopGoddess preach!!!
The guy just did it poorly. He obviously needs to work on his game. But for real, be able to take a joke otherwise you'll end with a limp dick yes man but definitely avoid abusive dudes. To an extent ALL flirting is attempted "manipulation" - both compliments and insults
@Frederica Bimble I feel like thinking that teasing someone isn't funny is more of an indication of insecurity than being able to withstand a joke because withstanding a joke means you have the confidence to laugh at your own flaws.
You're the one advertising their own insecurity by saying you can't take a joke about yourself. You must be fun at parties
@Frederica Bimble woah you really must not go to parties at all if you have time to write that much.
People who get all arsehurt at how the original poster handled the bleeding idiot who insulted her dress choice at a fraternity party are probably “experts” at negging and sadly have to be educated about the glaring difference between insults and jokes.
Perhaps you don’t think much of your clothes. But think of something you’re most insecure about. How would you feel if you’re just minding your own business and out of nowhere, somebody approached you and said, “You’re cute but [insults you about that attribute you coincidentally hate most about you]”?
If you answer this prompt with something along the lines of, “Nah, I can take a “joke” [insult, in actuality] at my expense, unlike some!”, then you’re a liar.
Adrienne honey, every dude you've dated, you were out of their league. You are way too cute for the men you've been dating lol
Kelsie Mercado you are so right lol
Kelsie Mercado very true
Kelsie Mercado I mean maybe she doesn't go for looks? Not everything is about looks. The people of this generation are crazy
Kelsie Mercado
Kevin Kelly did I ever say it was about looks? because it's not only that, she dates men who are old enough go be her dad and it's disturbing to me
Lol boy I don't missed those childish manipulative days and games. I know exactly what Adrienne was talking about.
Melissa Jackson yup. Key word being CHILDISH.
I never did that I'm more of a to myself type
Childish games , girl these men still try to get a woman this way. some of these girls don't know that not all man are like this it's boys trying to be man that are doing this.they don't have to put up with this .get you a real man . Like Adrienne say don't diss me
Unfortunately it DOES work on a lot of girls. And when guys are used to being able to easily get a girl by manipulating her and playing her that becomes their go-to move.
"Your nail is chipped..."
"LIES"
LOLLLLLL I'm not the biggest fan of Tamar but I just love the way she says lies like "LAHS!!!!!!"
That's definitely a hood skill😩😩 every boy in Brooklyn
Lol and Harlem
Lol nyc where u at
Ofcourse my boyfriend is from Brooklyn did the same thing lol
Chicago too!!!! (I know I’m late) 😂
Adrienne was on point!!! If you like me let me know "don't diss me and please call me". And she was right about why some females fall for it, low self-esteem and they just want attention, good or bad! I co-sign everything Adrienne said here.
Guys mainly do it because of rejection or fear of rejection. But Adrienne and Loni are right about this. Those are games for little girls. When you're dealing with a grown woman be honest, it will get you there faster. Being straight up about how you feel is much better. It might actually get you what you want fellas.
AderinneHuhgLoveyouwoemnAersiShowcomJennieeamalTerimaloveyouglirsMomWweomnserislikeAderinnHugwoemnLoveyouBiGShowOen19002000700080090010005000600@LoveyoowoemnHyhgAderinneshowcomPopLoveyouWoemnHuhgAderinne
Tiffany Rayne lies, nice guys finish last
Finally a word for what I've experienced for like ever!!!! Yes! LOL... In London, They will pay you a compliment and then say "Dont get gassed" totally making void the compliment then I'm just like pssshh boy bye!
I have heard of don't get gassed a lot over the years so it isn't just London. And there's another one "Don't be souping ( their, her, his) head up"
Hey Breeny!! 😊😊😊
Looooooool hate that
well they've only just started saying "tried it" and in my opinion they got that all wrong. and there was another one Tamar says,and I'm like "oh, ok, stopped using that when I was 14ish but ok." but I can't think of it atm. I'll pop back when I remember
Breeny Lee the words been around for decades
Negging made me want to fight lol. Boys in high school would do that ish & I was not feeling it so I would always be annoyed by them & some idiots really thought I was feeling it like it was all a big game of cat and mouse. I got asked out and asked to prom by boys I absolutely hated bc they thought I was joking all the time .
Jeanette Please tell me you said no and gave him a swift kick in the ballsies. :)
i am not hedwig LMAAAAAOOOOO U GOT ME DYING OF LAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!
i am not hedwig lmao nah I didn't kick them in the ballsies, I figured a simple no with a stank face was enough.
Jeanette good for you! I don't understand why guys think this works. It's so unfortunate :(
***** ahaha you're better than me, since those dummies thought it was a little game I didn't have it in me to go off because I just knew people would think I was crazy lol
The moment you realize you got Negged. -__-
2:23
thats wat i call the "helga pataki" move. the cartoon Hey arnold wen helga used to be sooo mean to arnold but really she loooved him lol
+queenie bowen lol
It doesn't remind me of it but I know what you're talking about
haha random. reference but according to the creator they do end up together. He just couldn't animate it.
queenie bowen I still hear MOVE IT FOOTBALL HEAD 😂😂
Aww shoot. My ex negged/"Helga Pataki-ed" me. He TRIED it! xD
If someone ignores me, I'm going to assume they don't want me and pay attention to a guy that I like and likes me back
A young man teased me about wearing neck scarves, writing in my journal, and another thing I can't remember. Brother zoned him real quick and called him out on teasing me for being me. He was already my junior, and he was acting like it too. 😊
"HOL UP HOL UP HOL HOOOL UUUUUUUP" looooool
"Its a psychological thing you wouldn't understand" Loni to Tamar
😭😭😭😭😭
That was some negging material
If it's obvious that a man is not interested, why the hell that turns a woman on? That's dumb as hell.
Rejection makes the heart grow fonder😅
The urge to make him interested so u can feel like u won, #younggirlsproblem
we live in a stupid society where people LOVEE to play games just to satisfy their egos. its horrible lmao
sassqueen11 I don't get that either
It's not a turn on more of a ego thing. Why don't he like me? I want to get him to want me. He's the chase.
Adrienne cracked me up at the end..lol
lol... negging never worked on me. In my teens and early twenties, i totally snap back and are very rude to guys who try to do such nonsense to me. But right now as I am approaching my late twenties, I ignore them totally which makes a big fool out of them. I am waaaay too fly, classy and matured to respond to negative comments. This boils down to the fact that a lady should have a highly built self esteem so that even if anybody tries to threaten it, is gonna be an epic fall for that person.
Tamar's to rude to Jeannie always dissing what Jeannie has to say
Dorcas Mukobo Not necessarily. Jeannie does like thugs. She called it like she saw it.
***** exactly
+RoyalMasterpiece Thanks. Finally someone with some sense!
Dorcas Mukobo thank you! did anyone see when she was like no nono don't touch me and loni was looking at her like bruh
Jeannie is annoying
I am both Jeannie and Adrienne in this discussion 😔😔
Never heard of this but now that I have.....here I go..
Negging is ridiculous. Men will never understand what it's like to be a woman and vice versa. They will say things to you and do things to you, believing you like it and when you fall for it they will think it works and continue to do it. It is up to you as a woman to know your worth and stand up for yourself. There are women who may not have the self esteem at that level you have and are not confident enough to say something. If one does it and another sees it can make a big difference.
That behavior would not fly with me. That is not a man but a disrespectful little boy who does not and will NEVER deserve my love.
I had a friend who liked that from guys, and I had a talk with her about it and I felt like I wasted my precious breath on her. I had another friend like Adrienne stated the pretty girl who would not get all the attention. Our 9th grade we was with our group of friends and these boys were talking to me and another friend of ours, so being that she was ignored she would stick her butt up and twist while she walk, then jumps in the conversation.
CherryStarr24 She continued to do this throughout the whole four years. I'm so happy last year at graduation, was the last time I saw her. It's sad to see girls and even grown womam act like that.
Lashaun Gordon everytime i see ur picture, u remind me of this youtube guru "Ivy" ..she does hair.
LuxeLike Whatever thnks
LuxeLike Whatever Yes I thought I was the only one.
It is only a very insecured, tacky, childish and foolish little boy that will do this. An intelligent, classy and matured minded man will never do that to a lady. If he really likes a lady he will be upfront with her and tell her how he feels. That is call being classy and matured. :)
Uchechi Udeagha lies, nice guys finish last
@@2tooful Not truly. I know a lot of truly nice people who ended up with equally great people. If ulterior motives, like manipulating somebody to sleep with you then discard this person afterwards, exist behind your “niceness”, then perhaps this is why you “finish last”. Most attractive people are so just used to those “liking” them only for their appearances, that they’ve become such experts at knowing if somebody’s just using “friendship” and “niceness” to bed them later on.
This seems hella abusive and very manipulative
It pretty much is
I really dislike when a guy is mean, straight up mean, all it's gonna do is push me away. What kind of strategy is that? I used to know someone that was constantly trying to put me down and then one day he asked me out. I thought it was a joke and didn't pay attention to him.
Feel ya bro
Some girls like a guy who doesn't call? So Mariah Carrie must be begging for me right now. Because I've never called her once in my whole lie
*life
i found this soo educative... good job girls
***** mmmmmh nah! Trust me i know the difference👌
Grace Williams educative? Really?
#feelthebern 2016 I like your channel. Fellow Berner here.
what i love about this show is that they point out things that you never really thought about but when you think abt what they said you realize "oh, there rly are people like that around me"
You know what I like? When we're both just insulting each other and saying things to each other while smiling and knowing it's not real, now that's chemistry and funny and I like that type of "negging" if you could still call it that. Of course he shouldn't be lowering my self-esteem and I don't want him to insult me unless it's for fun and I can do that back. Is anybody getting what I'm talking about? lmao
Lol I feel you
Another way of flirting?
that is actually what negging is. It is not suppose to lower a woman self esteem it is suppose to spark chemistry and spawn attraction.
I call that play fighting. It's just verbal play fighting, rather than physical. And yeah I'm good for that almost all the time.
But negging is on a different level. Negging has a level of psychology that's being purposely used. Now of course the guys probably don't know why it works and all of the science behind it, but guys who neg girls have gotten it down. It's just another tactic to get the girl like pickup lines or gifts. And according to one of my friends, he only does it if the girl seems too shy to just approach directly, but confident enough that his comment will hit that nerve that makes her want to talk to him more. I'm not against negging as a principle, I'm just not someone it would work on because I don't take backhanded compliments (which is how I normally feel the compliment compliment insult pattern works) well from a stranger. And I don't like negging when it goes so far that the guy is knowingly playing with the girl's insecurities, because that can screw her up.
Aryiana Moore
play fighting is negging. People dont know your insecurities if they just meet you so they cant get that deep. It is just a way to spark attraction and have fun.
I'm a huge tamartian BUT IM SO SICK OF TAMAR THROWING SHADE AT JEANNIE LOOK AT THE WAY SHE SMILES AT ADRIENNE THEN JEANNIE SPEAKING AND SHES LIKE "ugh" it's so annoying! I didn't believe it in fact I used to argue against it. But it's so hard to not see!!!
maybe Jeannie throws shade behind the stage
oumaima saidi naw Tamar's just petty as hell
Frankie x wtf?
Tamar's not rude that's just the way she is she says wht she wants that's why plp like her so your not a true tamartain like she has a huge heart and u can see it if u we're a tamartain and she wasn't trying to be rude to Jennie it was maybe an inside joke they were all friends so they can joke on each other
On her show she also says what she says my intentions are good but it just comes out wrong but she's has a huge heart and you never met her before so r u judging her
Tamar is so insecure.
joejill51lala on the braxton show, she's the more sensitive sister too.
I agree..
joejill51lala OMG ! I completely agree. I've noticed that the people who are very aggressive and opinionated and actually very insecure and unsure and that's why they fight harder to be heard and to be right.. I hope she realizes that one day.
Jas K i agree. i can so see negging working on her or she be the one who initiates negging.contrary to what she says, because she is so needy for attention, i can totally see her participating in it while: smacking her lips, rolling her eyes and neck, touching/tousling her wigs, and makn duck lips
sommer wise
she is immature. and when one is immature, they try to get any attention. she did it to her sisters and to vince in past seasons of the reality show
I do believe there is a difference between teasing and negging ? I like to tease people I like (I'm a girl) . And you can do it but in a funny sweet joking way . But if you're actually being serious , don't expect me to run after you , that's a deal breaker
already8use And if a guy teases me back , I kind of think that's cute as long as it's done correctly . It's still part of the flirting stage in my opinion .
Addriene always says what we're all thinking or have gone through. Shes so down to earth. Now, this "negging" business is just unnaceptable and highly immature. I know men who do it and it makes mr lose all interest. Like boy.... If you don't stop acting like a lil kid.. Sheesh!
If a guy tells me 2 compliments followed by the insult, I forget the compliments and get my ass outta there
They need to talk more about this! Seriously!
That damn " Negging" always had me suspended in high school LOL! Boys always making your girl wanna pop off though !
I love how Adrienne talks lol
That's the truth. Guys have definitley done that to me before; although that didn't make me like them. I just pretty much ignored them.
All I could think was...
"I'll be damned."
i think if this is done to a woman with low self-esteem, they'll take it as a challenge to turn those negative comments into approval for validation since the self-worth can't come from themselves
It works because as soons as some (both men and women) feel ignored by a person who was previously showing interest, they won't stop thinking about and suddenly desire that person.
It's called reverse psychology...but I guess it's called something wierd like negging now? I just hope that any lady does not fall for these mind games.
I had a man be super sweet to me and once he got me; THEN started to put me down to beat my confidence down
4: 31 ''You won't understand'' NOW I KNOW WHERE THE SHADE WAS AT, I never noticed it before
I think its cute how Adrienne is trying to be modest, Everybody knows shes beautiful! She can brag about herself, every once in awhile.
No Tamtam today😢
Yeah I missed her too but she be back tomorrow
Lol I haven't noticed either. She would've been so against this convo though.
***** lmfao
Definitely have to agree with Adreienne! When you know you're out of someone league - as narcissistic as that may sound - and they pay you dust, you feel inclined to give them attention. It actually makes you want them lol
These pride battles, I'm not with it.
Dude I have had incredibly low self esteem before but my self respect is high. I don't tolerate being insulted period. Besides. I have a physical deformity. The one thing that a man doesn't do to me is insult my appearance. It's a deal breaker. I don't even want to be friends with a guy like that.
This sounds like very disrespectful flirting! That is not respectful towards women. Not cool.
I love Adrienne. She is just soooooooooooo real!!!!
Nagging turns into emotional abuse...😔
Negging is emotional abuse.
This was an interesting topic! I learned something new and heard great commentary from the ladies.
I HATE negging it has not worked on me at all in fact it's just made me get really angry or upset!
I think this happened to me in high school with this group of boys, but I'm not sure.
He asked if I would hook up with his friend who I had crushed on before. I said no. After a while, he started pointing out an insecurities and saying backhanded comments to me. I thought he simply didn't like me, but negging could be a possibility in an attempt to get me to hook up with his friend
I didn't sleep with his friend, but I did let it get to me and started turning to them to validate me as if I wasn't good enough. I didn't feel pretty, so whenever his friend complimented me I felt elated, maybe a bit too much. I guess in relation to his friend being mean to me, he would come in as the "saviour".
Any guy who does this, I have no respect for them. It is such a childish and manipulative way to get with a woman.
I’m sorry you dealt with such bloody idiots and experienced their lame antics.
Negging screams “I wish to stoop so low as to cause attractive people to question their worth, because deep inside, I’m just THAT INSECURE! But hopefully, nobody will notice!”
Ironically, most people who neg boil with rage when others neg them as well, giving them a dose of their own medicine. Funny, that.
This wouldn’t work on me at all. I don’t like a guy being an ass towards me to get my attention.
Cause with the way my attitude is set up.... I would be throwing mad shade.
Even though I know what negging is, as it is happening I react like Tamar, that doesn't work on me.. because I just focus on the insult or the negative thing, even if it is surrounded by 4 positive things.
So I ignore the person.
Now, I can banter with someone if we already know each other.
Any dude that plays mind games to just get to hit it and quit it is NOT a dude you want to be getting into bed with. If a dude is cutting you down, it just shows how much respect he has for you (none). It just shows how little he thinks of you. Guarantee he is either an abuser, user, manipulator, game player, all the above or some combination therein. Hit the bricks, run. Not worth the mental and emotional (and possibly physical) violence.
Its called banter. Its all in good fun and suppose to be something that happens between people that are close. You can throw light insults at each other that are for fun, clowning on each other and that arguing may turn to closeness or sex. lol BUT if its from a guy you don't know or never meet its NOT cool at all. That is not going to work.
once a guy said to me, "your dog's cute, and so are you, i guess.." i was like, "huh? what do you mean you guess?" in my mind. but i responded to him, "thanks!" and gave him zero of the reaction that he probably expected from me. mind games are mind games are mind games. i'm in my mid-20's, so move along buddy. i am not gonna play with you.
I understand that Tamar is part of the show and that there has to be different types of women, but I don't like her attitude.
I think she's got real issues...insecurities and you name the rest.
Dolores Sandoval : I completely agree ... Tamar is too aggressive and opinionated and seems to always put Jeannie down :(... Aggression is the biggest sign of insecurity and lack of confidence.
I love the rest of the girls ... I feel that the they are all nice and genuine and speak their minds too but they respect each others opinion and play well together.
+Jas K I feel the others are in a good place they feel. like personally. even if loni is single and Adrienne is again after a long relationship. I find Tamar hard to watch.
Guys who do this have social problems and are secretly salacious. When they see a pretty girl, it IS a power trip for him to ignore her, because its a matter of making himself feel powerful, because he feels so powerless in the presence of gorgeous women. SO its second nature for him to want to lower her self-esteem. Its done out of his insecurity from having a lack of outer security and self-control
"But, you like Thugs, so I get it." - Tamar; Playground 'Hood (Street Smart) Skills
That doesn't work on me 😂😂 I'm usually always in my own world so if he's ignoring me I promise I won't notice. And if I did notice I wouldn't talk to him 😂 if he's playing these many games, i don't think so. I'm going to think he's not interested if he did ignore me/insult me and go on my merry way 😂
"My mom has a top just like that."
How is that an insult....? I wouldn't see it that way
It''s not. but saying something is like your mom's isn't a compliment either. Most guys don't do their mom. it is a neg.
Tamar " no no no no dont touch me "
Omg Adrienne is so NY luv my gurl!!!
Adrienne was speaking that TRUTH today!! Go girllllll
Yep, been negged. “You’re pretty but you’re not that special”... “you’re kinda fat”... now as a grown woman, I can recognise these douchebags a mile away. Hell, you can’t afford me, I’m too expensive darling.
There's this guy who likes to diss me and then I diss him back and we diss each other then what I do is I get "mad" like I pretend to be mad and then when he see that I ain't having it he be like "hey, how's it going? You mad? Sorry." Gets him everytime hun.
I must admit, my brother at age 27, STILL plays those mind games with females and they still fall for him. In my opinion, he is not all of that, but then again he is my brother. I always try to give the girls a heads up when he's around, but to no avail, it never works. To each his/her own.
100% true. The girl would say text me after we hung out, I never would and she always texted me first, she like me for months. Girls say they want a guy that texts and calls 24/7 all LIES !
I think that's real immature of a grown man to still be doing. A man will NEVER get me like that and that's probably why I lean more towards men older than me. I hate an immature guy there's nothing cute about it and a tell sign that they're still chasing girls and not ready for a woman yet!
Adrienne speaks truth!🙌🏼💯💯💯
a dude tried that with me asking why I got one sock on?
Hisoka Joka lmaooooo really
yeah LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
i DIED at Tamar's face of agreement at 1:32 hahahaha
If a man ever puts me down , I'll kick him in the face and run away .
Don't be arrogant men , it's not attractive
Adrienne always keeps it 100 on this show. I use to always play with guys that weren't as good looking as I was lool. It sounds so petty now but it's what many girls did for fun and to feed their ego.
Lol Adrienne, You are always making me laugh 😂😂😍
Omg Adrienne THANK YOU! this happened to me s while back and the guy just ignored me! I obviously was confused and I kept on trying to get him to like me for a while but he never did
Same thing Adrienne was talking about in the beginning happened to me the other night. Went out with a group of friends, dude was feeling me but I wasn't interested, later that night he dissed me, just brushed it off. Apologized profusely via our mutual friend (cos obviously I didn't give up the digits). Came over to my house couple days later, complimented my place but could barely look at me in the eye. This is a grown man at 35! SMH lol
Negging only works if the guy is attractive
RyderC Daniels you'd be surprised
Sophia Martinez lol
False. Im not all that at all and it works like a charm. Just like Adrian said, she knows she is too good for the guy but he gives her no attention cause her to like him more
TypeAAA nah even before I knew what this was this would have never worked on me even when I was younger. I wouldn't see the point in being complimented and then insulted. Def woulda neva worked on me at any point in my life
Not really.
Loni's face was like, "Bishh, what...?"
Gosh!! I really miss Tamera! Her voice her presence her comments...
Now I know am really watching to see. Miss you Tam Tam, hurry n come bk
adrienne is too cute and super real lol
OK my first boyfriend was my worst enemy. how about that ...!😂
I've experienced men being incredibly mean, and it does not work. Teasing isn't bad, but insulting me? ABSOLUTELY not! Why be with a man who wants me to feel like an ugly loser when there are nice guys out there?
Stop negging
Complete the quote!
I never knew that negging was the name for it but it's definitely annoying. I'm in high school and boys do it to me all the time. It aggravates me so much I just roll my eyes and keep it going ,and they think it so funny and cute. But nooo...lol
I am a naturally shy guy so try not to get caught staring by turning away. If I am really attracted to a girl I almost avoid them they come walking my way I almost take a right turn and leave I am so nervous. I think I have in the past accidentally attracted woman because I appeared not interested, in fact, I was too scared to approach because I thought they were out of my league. Once I have a normal conversation where they ask me questions and they make me feel comfortable then I am good.
I loved tamars story about when her phone dropped and a man was trying to get her attention but she thought he was hitting on her. But was finding her attractive so she went into a place and looked in a mirror and said "what is going on. Here" loved her face expression!!!! Haha i wish they had that clip.
I know alot of Men like that!! But then I know Women who have and still do it too!
Mechacelzi
..........boy please lol
***** ah ha! Woman! (LoL)
Jeannie!!!!!!! oh my gosh that was funny
negging isn't insults tho, Asian girl knew the true meaning with the mom example
you know you're kinda cute and he is kinda wack* 😂
omg Adrianne's story at tge end is hilarious!
I love Adrienne! She keeps it 1000...