Ep 003: Will You Ever Be Good Enough for Love?
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
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Struggle love is defined as a relationship in which one partner does "the absolute most" for the other without reciprocity, aka "any DAMN thing in return." Unfortunately, growing up with a toxic mother feels similar. As little girls, we bend over backward to "win" her heart while our hearts shatter.
Too many Black women live as fragmented versions of themselves; it's no wonder why we hustle for the love and validation we have been conditioned to give others. In this episode, I share why this happens and what you can do about it.
Takeaways:
• Love is a basic need that no human can be without. In toxic mother-daughter relationships, love isn't given freely; it has to be earned in most cases. The outcome is thousands of Black women endlessly hustling to prove their worth.
• Until the injured woman heals the wounds of her childhood, she will never be capable of giving or receiving love authentically - not even to herself.
• Denying your needs as a way to receive love from another person only leads to frustration and Eispair.
Highlights:
• [00:01:03] Do you feel like you're not good enough to receive love without working for it? Here's why wounded women hustle for love.
• [00:04:33] This is why trying to "earn" love will NEVER work
• [00:10:47] 3 personality traits of a wounded woman and how they show up in our careers and relationships.
• [00:21:38] How healing and doing the work shows up in your life.
• [00:25:16] This is what your inner little girl wants you to say to her.
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DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911.
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I’m sitting in the car crying because I’ve needed to hear everything you’re saying … I’ve felt stuck & hopeless . This gives me light ! Please never stop
That means the world to me! All is not lost my love! Nothing is lost. You can still have the life and love you’ve always dreamed of and I’m gonna do everything in my power to help you get there. We are all in this together.♥️
Same. I needed this
🫂🤎🫂💜🫂💛
Crossing your path in this way is such a treasured gift, I could have ever encountered. I knew a lot of issues within me needed to be addressed dealing with an unloving mom but, I never took it serious enough until now! I am 51 years old and if I don’t deal with the little girl issues in me I will continue to neglect myself of the good life I am chosen to live. Thank you so much. Keep blessing yourself has you bless others.
12:40 the tears started to flow. I feel relief and sad at the same time because I really was that funny and inquisitive child who never felt good enough just as I was. This has affected every aspect of my life for my lifetime...I think I just felt my heart break for myself. WHEW!!!!!! It's gotta come to the surface for healing to begin. Bless all of you in the comments and Jennifer, you are the truth!!!!!
Gotta go back and finish watching.
It wild how you said “hurt version of me how old are you?” I remember telling my mom you’re making me feel like I’m 17 and i was a 24 y.o college grad at the time. She doubled down on her evil ways once my granny died. My granny protected me from her. She was very male centered and it was men and whatever or whoever they bring over me. Now she won’t stop overstepping boundaries and manipulating others to get info. I really wish she would stop.
You touched the deepest parts of my soul tonight and I want to say, "thank you". Thank you from the bottom of my ❤️.
THIS WAS SO WONDERFUL
So glad to come across these videos!! Been holding this hurt in and wondering what was wrong with me. I started with attachment theory which lead me to my mother wound and what I still don’t get from my mother. Working on reparenting now.
Thank you Jennifer 🤍🌸🌷
I am glad to release my tears on this episode.
I want to be loved and seen for who I am in both career and romantic love. I feel so confused because I have been doing the work and it feels like I’m still stagnant. I know that’s not true.
I love the segment about paying attention and setting boundaries and being ok with moving on. I am there and it feels good knowing that I am on the right track. I am no longer denying my needs. I am no longer accepting breadcrumbs. I promise to validate myself even more going forward.
Thank you so much for everything you share and do Jennifer.
You are good enough 💕✨
I stumbled on your podcast on my Spotify as if Divine made it show up just at the right time. From episode 1 you were calling out thing I said in my head but I thought oh this is just me and the strangeness that is my life. I only a week ago came to the conclusion that I had a mother wound AND that my daughters may have one that I caused😢. I am so grateful for finding your work and bless you for going through whatever you had to to bring this work out. Even as you recorded episode 1 years ago, now will be time for its use. I gotta share with all my sista friends cuz we all over here silently trying to get it together. This is life altering thank you Jennifer ( the book comes today)!❤❤
This is the therapyI need all these years❤❤❤
Every single part of this is spot on
When you said denying your own needs, I said I don't even know when I'm denying them because I don't know what they are!! I know people are not mind readers but I want people to meet those without me having to ask because asking for them to be met feels like a burden, it feels foreign.
This was so helpful and right on time.
That was powerful Jennifer!! I have never spoken to my younger self before and it made my heart ache for her suffering, this is a practice that I need, and want, to continue. Thank you so much 💕
I needed this episode. Thank you 💜.
This blessed me sis you are appreciated ❤
Ugh. Girl. I feel called out. Thank you for this, so much… I was a little taken aback by the curse words at first 😅but then it had me cracking up
Why are you taken aback by profanity? This podcast is talking about real life and sometimes it takes that to get a feel of the full expression of certain very hard feelings. This goes into how we need to talk when there's real oppression going on. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. She has real rage and using profanity may be what she needs to do.
I can only give the message the way it is given to me lol. The calling out is a loving invitation to do the work that will change your life forever.
This is her experience. You don’t need to ask people questions like that if you keep reading, you see that she began to welcome my authenticity with the curse words.
@@Jenniferarnise oh Sis! Wasn’t trying to start anything.. I am fully subscribed and on board with what you are doing… I only meant to say when I stated listening, your voice was so calm and serene and then I heard the F bomb, OOP!!!
Then I had to laugh and really got into what you had to say. Appreciate you so much!!
You just blew my mind with this💯…. I love you back and you have no idea how this resonates with me😓
Hi thank you fore this postcast. Hi from the Nederland 🥰
I always felt like I was a burden growing up.
Very well said!
Sis this was so deeply needed.
“And that is not true.” So simply put I said it along with you in the same tone n speed. 🤣I felt that and laughed so hard.
Thank you so much for making this segment and breaking down the psychology of these types of relationships. They are not for the weak. You are helping so many 🫶🏾✨
❤🙏🏾
I can't get your links to work on my smart phone. Please investigate and click on your links in your videos. I want to take your online workshop.
💚❤🥰💙🎯thank you
🥲🙏🏾
i just want to personally thank you so much Jennifer for what you have created & thank you so much for the ending part of this video🥹💙. you don’t understand how much your podcast, your work, your dedication has, is & will help me. ik im a little early at 22, but i really am glad i made it to this destination. it’s definitely needed🥹😭😭💙. i really hope i get to be apart of something with BMW podcast, because it truly is life changing. i love you so much. thank you so much. i trust you, so much. thank you again times 100.