Hi friends! Unfortunately the proverbial powers that be claimed my adsense over a 30 second segment of this video so it had to be trimmed out. 🙃 I'm sorry for those of you who missed it! The clip in question is Katie Hopkins (a right wing British media figure) describing to an audience and her co-hosts on a TV show that she intentionally gained weight so she could later lose it to prove that, in her own words, "fat people are, in fact, lazy." Sorry again and I hope this helps!
Hello. Can you please react to euphoria?? Pleaseee I’m begging you. Also, if you do, could you maybe give me a shoutout? I’ve been subbed to you forever and I’m a small youtuber and I’m almost to 500 subs. Please? I love your videos sm and I look up to you sm
This is an ongoing subject of discussion with my ND friends and myself. For us, some of the "emotions" don't line up correctly at all, and in many cases, there's a lack of words to cover what we ARE feeling. It's a good starting point, but it's also sometimes just overwhelming, especially if you're alexithymic or ND.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover For me I find it's only good when I'm alone. It's not helpful when talking to someone. And yeah, I agree with some of the feelings not lining up. It's easiest for me to deal with feelings by sorting them, and...50% of the time the wheel helps sort them.
It's a very neurotypical way of 'solving' the problem of not being able to name your emotions. I found it a bit insulting, as if I don't know what those words mean - it's lining them up with the physiological reaction I'm experiencing that's the issue. A completely colourblind person can know what colours are, and their relative wavelengths, and which primary colours make which secondary colours, and still not be able to tell you what colour those curtains are.
@@malenixius This, yes! You've just described alexithymia in a nutshell far better than I was. Thank you, I will remember this comparison for the future. And I agree. It can end up feeling a little patronising depending on who and how it's done.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Glad I could help! I've had a lot of experience trying to explain myself to 'professionals' so I've gotten good at metaphors, haha
I wish someone explained that first one to me, too. "Feel your feelings". Fuck no, I have BPD, my feelings make me feel like I'm going to die. Get me as far away from that as possible. If they had said, "notice your physical sensations and stop thinking", I might be way further ahead.
So much this. I have PMDD, so I simply cannot trust my emotions 5 days a month. Before my Dx, I burned down my entire life every 28 days for 8 months in a row. Quit my job, broke up with & got back together with my bf repeatedly, hooked up with my ex, cussed out friends who tried to help, engaged in $€|f~h***m, went off my meds...then I'd start my period and feel better, except that I'd look at the charred remains of my life and realize that I'd fucked it all to hell. Most of my relationships did not recover, and...yeah. I just don't trust myself to "feel my feelings" during Werewolf Week any more. But, like, noticing my bodily sensations? Yeah, that seems...safer.
I have BPD as well and... I am so grateful my therapist could explain things to me in a way that made sense. I had no idea that my emotions were so volatile before this.
I have BPD and that's why I love DBT (dialectical behavior therapy). It's basically a giant breakdown on how this (well partially, it's also interpersonal relationship stuff but learning how to feel feelings and process is a huge part)
As a trans guy, really appreciated the one gal who talked about toxic masculinity. A lot of trans guys, like myself don't relate that well to cis guys. Our socialization was to being a girl/woman. Consequently I much more enjoy being with women, trans men, and gay men.
I have a question. At one point with my last therapist, she said some things that genuinely led me to believe that we had WAY different views on a lot of really fundamental issues. They were always so off-the-cuff that I almost felt like I was overreacting, but I felt confident enough that politically she and I differed a lot. And that made me SO uncomfortable to be in that therapeutic relationship because I always felt that she would be silently judging me for my beliefs, my fears, my choices, etc. Had she not been my therapist, I suspect we could have been arguing online about social justice issues, welfare, socialised medicine and conspiracy theories that are pedalled as truth - at the very least. I think it was the point where she dismissed my own friends' experiences with US healthcare and said that "if you can afford drugs, you can afford the money for therapy" without seeming to grasp that actually, most therapists don't accept IOUs, sex, stolen goods etc in lieu of payment, or how common it is with veterans to get properly covered by the VA. It was just a couple of off-the-cuff remarks, here and there, but it made me feel like my stomach plummeted through the floor. I already felt as though I was...not at the top of her priority list (and clearly wasn't as she dropped me with no warning at the end of a session, despite knowing that this would probably be hard for ANYONE let alone an autistic person with abandonment issues, but you know...) Anyway, I'm rambling, I'm sorry. The point is... I know that therapists are supposed to stay neutral, and I know it's not possible for every therapist to like every single person that they deal with, or agree with them on every single issue... but am I expecting too much? I just... wish I could find a therapist that... doesn't make me wonder if they groan every time they realise it's time for my session, or that secretly they think I'm... all of the negative things I already feel like I am and need help figuring out how to not feel. Also, Katie Hopkins is an obnoxious piece of human detritis. Just ignore everything that comes out of her hateful, bigoted mouth.
As someone who has been through 21 different therapists and 5 different diagnoses (in Sweden btw, where we have free health care) you are NOT expecting too much. You need to feel safe to really open up. I had one who was way to sarcastic for me. I have a hard time understanding sarcasm (which I told her the first time she used sarcasm) so after 3 sessions I had to switch. Then most others just quit, left for maternal leave and my last one had to drop clients because of covid (risk groups in her family). Also, I really hope I didn't scare you by how many I have had, my point is, it needs to feel right for you. If it doesn't, tell them and try another one.
This sounds like such a horrible experience! I’m sorry you went through this, and for your therapist to end your therapeutic relationship out of the blue, must feel really isolating. I can assure you that this is not normal (actually unethical) behaviour! Therapists, if releasing clients, or trying to refer them on for specialised care should create an “exit plan” for their clients which their client partakes in the creation of. It sounds like the therapist who you visited unfortunately was not a very good fit for you - it also sounds like you felt this too when they were making insensitive comments about people with substance use issues… it might not feel like it now, but it might be a blessing in disguise that your relationship with them has ended, as it can open up opportunities for you to find someone to offer you the treatment you deserve. 💕
I second everything the other comenters have already said, but also just wanted to 100% agree with you that Katie Hopkins is a broken fire hydrant of toxic, hateful bial. Her only purpose in existing appears to be making the world a more horrible place. The less attention she receives the better
I also have ASD. Your therapist should have been very careful about what they revealed about their own self and their personal views because they shouldn't be judging you based on their own views. My current therapist is very much a christian, and on his site he does talk about how God/Jesus can help heal. I am not a christian. I saw those things on his profile online, and let him know in the first session that I was not a christian, I am agnostic and my spirituality is good at this point. So he never brought it up to me. Sometimes in his stories he might say he went to church or something but never preaching at me or saying something I would take as pushing religion on me. I don't feel like he judges me, but that's probably because he's never really done anything on me like your therapist was doing. I would personally leave a bad review for her on Google and on psychology today, but that's just my personal opinion. When discussing your friend who was using illicit drugs, she should have provided a list of free resources for your friend rather than making a judgement. There are services that will provide 3 free therapy sessions, which may be all that is needed to start them on the road to a better place. It's not a cure, because things take a long time to work through, but it would be a start. When I was in my 20's I called a depression hotline and was setup with a therapist in my town and 3 free sessions. I ended up staying with her for 3 years. She understood I was a poor student and gave me a greatly discounted rate. She also did take IOU's and allowed me to call her personal cell phone if I needed to talk to her right away. Those are the kind of resources that should have been offered.
As someone that "broke up" with their therapist...(she was fine I just felt like I didn't need it anymore) she was proud of me for actually showing up and mustering up the courage to have that dificult conversation with her instead of just ghosting. She said it showed her how much I have grown and gave me a hug. It really build my confidence that she said that, it showed me that its ok to not be a people pleaser all the time and if people can't handle that then thats on them.
I think that when the woman in the TikTok is talking about emotional intimacy not being a risk for women she’s talking about white women. As a black woman I would say that emotional intimacy AND sexual intimacy are a risk for me. I can’t speak for every black woman but I know that I didn’t grow up in a family where I was encouraged to be emotional. I was mostly taught to act strong all the time and that women are the stability for the whole family.
Yeah... more generally speaking, I think being comfortable with emotional intimacy is associated moreso with middle/upper class White Americans (and probably Canadians too) who grew up in relatively healthy, stable environments.
@@jfm14 fr 🥴saying that women are able to be or even expected to be openly emotional, and also get to experience sympathy and no consequences for it is such a white woman take on this lol.....
Yeah, it's just so upsetting that the weight of the world always seems to fall on the shoulders of Black women. And then when they need to take a break and let someone else pull the weight for a while so they can recover, white people point fingers and say, "See how lazy they all are!" No matter what they do it always seems to be the wrong thing. I say we have a national holiday where Black women get a paid week off to do whatever they want. I'd suggest a cruise to someplace pretty and quiet, but with COVID we might need to think of a different retreat.
I think she was more so discussing what socially acceptable in general. So it’s seen that women are inherently emotional people whereas men are not. I see what u mean with people of colour and/ or people of lower class. But I guess she was talking on generals and what she sees in life, which may be a perception of privilege but I also do still agree with her point in more general terms. Obviously it doesn’t suit everyone tho
Your laugh/smile is so delightful and I'm really happy you left in the part where your partner teased you about your hand placement, that was so cute lol
I broke up with my therapist after just a couple sessions because I realised I wasn't feeling comfortable and helped in the way I needed. I just did it over email, and agonised over wording for a while. But I kept it simple and said I didn't feel like we were clicking and would like to see someone else. I ended by asking for any help/advice in finding a new therapist, and it was actually super nice and they helped me find another one who right off I felt a much better connection with. Just wanted to share for anyone worried, it can be done and can be easier and more simple than our fears tell us.
I read a book called "Not Always Depression" that was recommended to me by a therapist and found it very helpful, it's all about how to "feel your feelings". It's helpful whether you have depression or not by the way.
This was recommended to me by targeted instagram ads and I've been looking forward to getting it soon, so I very much appreciate you sharing your experience! Now it seems even more appropriate to me lol
As a skinny person who is admittedly lazy and does not get up and exorcise nearly as much as I should, I'm disgusted by that woman saying that the only difference between "fat" and "skinny" people is that "fat" people are lazy and "skinny" people get up and move around. I'm skinny because I have a (dangerously) overactive metabolism that requires me to eat constantly in order to stay in a healthy weight range. My lifestyle has very little to do with how skinny I am, and the same is going to apply to people of all sizes. No one has the right to judge others for their body shape/size. You never know what the other person is going through and how it affects them.
Yes!!! I am the EXACT same way, and it irks me whenever anyone calls fat people "lazy" or says "they just don't care about their own health". I've been extremely skinny my whole life and I'm both lazier and more neglectful of my own physical health than any fat person I've met, lol (those aren't traits that I'm necessarily proud of, but it's true)
99.9% of people with a “fast metabolism” don’t have a fast metabolism. They don’t eat enough calories. That’s it. Just like 99.9% of people who are obese don’t just have a “medical disorder,” they eat too many calories. That’s it. That’s all it is.
I'll never get tired of your fat-postive content and breakdowns of fatphobia. I feel like fatphobia is so normalized it's very hard to find content that doesn't just take it for granted
19:30 omg! So I just won't believe in my ADHD and anxiety anymore- who knew it was that easy to function like a normal human being! It's so wild and crazy! /sar
Jokes on that tik tok guy bc I've had episodes of depression and an anxiety disorder before I ever knew what those things were! 😭 Unfortunately, not knowing about or "believing" in depression or anxiety didnt cause me to not have those feelings/experience the struggles.....it just made me unable to communicate,receive help, or deal with it healthily 🙃
As someone who is doing my initial peer specialist training, I just want to immensely thank you for validating the dissonance between the theory and the personal relationship that we build with clients! You are a shining light in the peer specialist community!!
One of the most life-changing things my last counsellor did for me was show me how to connect with my emotions through physical sensations in my body, and how to let them evolve naturally by using visualisation. So for example I'd say "I'm feeling a tightness in my chest" and she would ask how I would describe that sensation visually. I would say something like "it feels like there is a hand squeezing my heart" and she would ask me what I felt like I wanted the hand to do. So I might say I want it to let go. Then she would talk me through imagining the hand slowly relaxing and opening and tenderly cupping my heart instead of squeezing it. And that would normally be the point where I would burst into tears for a while. And more often than not some memory or negative self-belief that I hadn't even been aware of would then spontaneously come to the surface that contributed to the feeling in the first place and we would then start exploring and analysing that. I am a very visual person with a vivid imagination so I get that probably wouldn't have works for a lot of people but for me, it finally opened up a pathway to my emotions that I'd been struggling to find for like 20 years. It's been almost 2 years now of not being able to get counselling because I was on the waiting list for NHS trauma therapy, but I've used those techniques myself soo many times since I ended with her to keep progressing my self-awareness and solve acute issues
Either I've smoked too much or I need therapy because the visualization of a hand gripping a heart and then gently cupping it as though there was love there made me cry.
When I have a panic attack I go to my parents and say I’m having a panic attack and why. they know not to over react, so they examine the issue (it’s usually health related) and say something along the lines of, “it looks normal to me,” or “its nothing to be worried about.” and just go on like everything is normal. Their presence and lack of a reaction let’s me know that everything is ok and it calms me down.
This is gonna sound really weird, but it's how I deal with my dogs freaking out, too 😅 For some reason, with empathetic animals (such as humans and dogs), trying to be "comforting" can actually affirm that there's something to be worried about, whereas behaving normally helps ground them again. I'm really glad your parents are able to help you in that way ❤️
The ghost/depression analogy really only works if the ghosts are real in that situation, which somehow proves the exact opposite of the point he’s trying to make.
I love the goth/punk kid talking about breaking up with a therapist...I can relate to it a lot. I went to a therapist at 15 and I felt listened to maybe a tiny bit for the first couple of visits..then after a few months went by, I started to realize that we weren't really getting anywhere and she didn't even realize that my grandmother was the one abusing me. She took me in at a young age and raised me and she abused me in many different ways..she will deny it to this very day. But the fact that the therapist that had been working for 20 years didn't pick up on the fact that my grandmother wouldn't let me be alone for sessions because she was afraid I would open up about her abusing me..and by the time I did start going in alone, she had me so drained and controlled. I also struggled with anorexia and that was never picked up on..she never diagnosed me with p.t.s.d. which ik I have. I can't function without medical marijuana..I hate how crippling it is for me to even leave the house. I have to mentally prepare myself to go out and do things. It sucks..I am afraid of people altogether.
How could a therapist not understand that one person. They communicated their emotions so clearly and concisely! Wishing them the best of luck in finding their new therapist!
My last panic attack I made it through it because I latched on to a phrase my good friend always says “it’s what it’s.” 😅 I can never predict how I’ll deal with a panic attack but I’m glad I found something.
One way to say that (it is what it is) in Spanish is “eso sí que es” - which is pronounced like you’re spelling the word SOCKS. So, if “it’s what it’s” ever doesn’t work for you, there’s always SOCKS to fall back on.
I am straight sized (a size M or L) but I still experienced bullying for my weight so I learned that people think that my body is disgusting and I hate it to this day. And when people bullied me for my weight I wasn't even as big as I am today. Looking back I was completely average and my only 'sin' was that I wasn't good at P.E. It's messed up that the ideal body for a woman according to society at the time was so thin that even 'regular' sized people got body shamed. I think that the thin ideal in my country is still very popular (I'm not saying this to hate thin people) and bigger people still get body shamed. I know I'm straight sized and I can't even imagine how much hate plus sized people get just for being the way they are. I think people should be more accepting of each other and we shouldn't try to make everybody fit into a certain mold. Everybody is different and that should be okay.
I feel you. I am still in my (late) teens but I have been struggling since age 9. I am also in between M/L sometimes a S will fit for shirt, but I prefer bigger clothes. I always get comments on my body, sice, meals, how much I eat, how "little" I eat. We just can't win. Even when I lost a lot of weight (unhealthy amounts) I got shamed for "loosing my curves" which is just.... what? We are beautiful as we are, and I know it's hard and often a fight every day, but I hope it gets better for us both. 💞
@@SammyLammy1D I also managed to lose a lot of weight one time and people were calling me anorexic. Even though I was still in the healthy weight range my ribs were showing on the front of my chest and my my arms looked very thin. I wasn't anorexic I was just experimenting with how much weight I can lose. Even one of my teachers thought I was sick and sent me to the doctor's that was completely unneccessary and a bit humiliating too. One of me classmates even slutshamed me. This too just proves that you cannot win.
It is extremely messed up. It is as if you can't ever make it right. My size is and was almost always L and somehow my parents, classmates and teachers called me fat in a derogative way. I also couldn't find any clothes that fit me in my town, because my peers "should all be thin". So I grew up believing that being fat was bad and that I was fat. After 10 years spent battling and healing my eating disorder, I'm still trying to feel confident in my body. What was that all for? Did people in my past want me to be thin and "healthy"? Well, they caused so much struggle and so much illness!
@@darkphoenix7342 True. Unfortunately when you're a child and most vulnerable, you can't choose who you're surrounded with, like your parents, teachers and even classmates. I hope that I and people like me would help the younger generation in our lives not to experience the same things.
Also body positivity helps people in all sizes. My size is M/L on the bottom and S/M on top, but I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia for over a decade. The body pos movement, therapy, and pole fitness have helped me hate myself less. When people fatshame or make comments like around diets, it’s hella triggering for me and I usually have to leave the conversation.
It was fascinating to me to see the "feel your feelings" and "feel your body" info at the start of the video, because I taught myself that, against professional advice. I found that when I was having panic attacks, if I focused on my heart rate and blood pressure (I have a monitor on at all times for my disability), and other physical sensations, it helped me focus my breathing and moved me away from the spiraling thoughts. My therapist at the time strongly discouraged that, saying that fixating on the physical symptoms would just psych me out more, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it did the opposite for me. It allowed me to remind myself that I was having a physiological experience, and my thoughts were not lucid. It's the only way that consistently works to bring me back from a panic attack: treating it like a pain response.
13:30 omg such a chord struck, it is hard being very self aware and have successfully intellectualised my mental health problems that are associated with my physical health, but understanding your issues is so frustrating and the guilt is huuuge for not just doing what you think/ know you should do because of exhaustion and hopelessness.
Really loved the first clip (and the others!). This description of "feel your feelings" reminds me of the form of meditation where you let thoughts go by and return to sensing your breath, or in this case, the symptoms of your emotion. Fantastic!
I was 220 at my highest weight and it really was because I was over eating. I had 2nds and 3rds full plates for dinner. Eating less and better food was the answer. 3 years later I’m 152. There was a year of lifting weights for gym class last year and working a job during the summer that requires physical labor on the bay. Telling someone to eat less without being asked their opinion or for help isn’t okay but it can genuinely be the best advice in my experience.
Bit random but at 3:27 right after you’d said “hold on” my phone started buffering but I didn’t realize it cause it seemed like you’d said “hold on” then just stopped talking, and I was like “okay… I’m holding on…”
My therapist (several years ago, I have a different therapist who has assured me I won’t be leaving therapy with her until I feel ready to) ghosted me. We spent our sessions making self deprecating jokes at each other and I think the therapist said that it wasn’t working out but no one told me that until after I came back from residential treatment for suicidality.
i wasn’t expecting the TTI clip ☹️ i went to two. i have no knowledge of anyone being licensed most of the ppl just came from the small town, and would otherwise work at a factory job. but not only did these staff participate in abuse but the townspeople also treated us horribly. (the rare times we were allowed to leave the facility).
I got to the end, very end where the sign off is "leave me some comments if you have any thoughts and feelings" and I said to myself "no, I have none of those" and I laughed for a minutes straight because it's an absurd assertion all around and an especially absurd thing to say to a licensed therapist who would probably feel tired just from hearing it, but my constant need to be contrary and cause other discomfort for my own momentary amusement is probably part of why I should be in therapy... Anyway, it's still funny to me in theory, but I really don't actually want to cause anyone distress irl. The early internet just did a number on me, and I'm working on that.
Feeling vs suppressing emotions was such a big thing when I was with my therapist, and it’s so real. I had a day where, my aunt had recently passed away, right in the middle of college midterms, so I wouldn’t be able to attend her funeral. I kept telling myself I had to push through and be good and study and stay put. And the next day… I started crying. And I couldn’t stop. Every time I would think “okay that’s enough let’s stop crying now” it would START UP AGAIN. I cried on and off for EIGHT HOURS on campus and through three classes. My eyes ached. My face ached. Every time during the day when I tried to push it down harder and harder and harder I just kept crying MORE, not sobbing or wailing or being loud, but my eyes wouldn’t stop watering and my chest wouldn’t stop aching. My final class, a lab, the professor approached me and said she would feed my cells and I needed to go home because she had never seen anyone look “so profoundly miserable and exhausted” even as I was trying so hard to hold it in. It was only when I gave myself a few days to grieve the initial shock without “forcing” myself to be useful or productive or “normal” that I could actually begin to function again. “Pushing it down” just made it worse, and made me physically sick and exhausted.
Feeling wheels remind me so much of when I first listened to the actual play podcast Friends at the Table because the first season I listened to they were playing a game called "The Veil" where whenever a player needs to roll dice, they describe how their character is feeling and roll their stat associated with whichever one of the six core feelings that is associated with. (If you know a little about more traditional games like dnd, rpgs usually ask players to roll dice when they're going to do something that might go wrong in an interesting way, and usually the stats are things like "strength" and "charisma" instead of "joyful" and "afraid") I was in therapy at the time and I *swear* I started making so much more progress while listening to this podcast that *wasn't* about therapy or mental health in particular but *was* for a while constantly checking in on and thoughtfully identifying the feelings of these fictional characters.
i did ghost a therapist several years ago. in my defense i was thirteen years old also i was in therapy mostly for my truly terrible communication skills (which is something she didn’t help me with, in fact she made it worse). so yeah i just stopped making appointments. anyways it worked out for me, i have a new therapist who has really helped me with my communication skills and not that i’m going to but if i were to “break up” with a therapist i would talk to them and not just ghost them.
I've done the "feel your feelings" exercise with my therapist countless times without ever realizing exactly what it was that we were doing, but lord everything makes so much sense now
I feel so lucky because I’ve never had to break up with a therapist. I didn’t fully click with my last therapist, but then she went on maternity leave and I got referred to another therapist and she helped me so much and we could just both tell that she was better suited for me, so even when my initial therapist was back from maternity leave, I stayed with the one I’d been referred to.
I could watch you all day every day! You are so beautiful inside and out and such a ray of sunshine that I long for Saturdays so I can have new content coming from you. I don't want to put my life story here but I got more help from you this year than I did in 10 years of living in pain, in a fat body, depressed and being poked and yelled at by doctors. Did that make sense? haha Anyways, thank you! And Merry Christmas. =)
aha I sure do need a therapist, but the moola,,,,, great vid tho I think this is my first time catching mac’s famous mac n cheese on your wall!!( ,: ps. the outro music felt a little too loud this time idk if that’s jus me
My first therapist ghosted ME. An appointment was cancelled or missed and I emailed her a couple times to schedule another one and never got an answer. I went without therapy for like a year cause I didn't want to call and "tell on" her to find a new therapist. Also being someone with social anxiety who feels like everyone abandons me, that was SO GREAT for my mental health 🙃
What’s your favorite kind of tiktoks? I like the makeup transition types. I love seeing the artistry and creativity put into the designs and styles; it feels me with a sense of wonder.
I'm pleasantly surprised you posted on Christmas! Haven't finished the video yet, but just wanted to say I love your content and it has been such a nice comfort for me over the last year. Thank you for all the work you do on this channel! 🙏
I'd watch more of these!! :) I really enjoy watching your videos and just listening to you talk about things, serious and not. I enjoy your personal takes and jokes but also lots of other stuff that boils down to "your channel is a very safe space for me and I really appreciate it". ♥️
You don’t know how Katy Hopkins is… I’m jealous! You should probably look up Katy Hopkins kids names interview, that says it all. She makes Fox News look good.
The feeling your feeling bit was so good! My therapist had given me a little worksheet i can print out where i write why I’m feeling bad, then separating my thoughts from my physicality. That helped a lot but i think the list would be less time consuming. I’m not tryin to write a full essay every time i have an anxiety attack 😂
Yess I was expecting Mickey to comment on that! As someone with a neurodevelopmental disorder I feel very uncomfortable at people ascribing all of their woes to neurochemical imbalances when they adamantly repress all their childhood trauma so it's frequently slipping out and rearing its ugly head at them 🤔
True. I'm sure Mickey already knows about this (due to continuing education, if not her initial training) but relatively few people are aware that the chemical imbalance theory is no longer widely believed.
Hey. Just wanted to leave a comment to say two things: 1. I loved this reaction video, and I love how constructive you are in your responses :) 2. It would really help if you, in the future, made the video into chapters. Especially longer videos (20-30+ mins.) This makes it a lot easier to jump back into a video one haven`t finished, and one will not have to skim through the content to find the correct spot.
Hey, have you ever seen anything by The Latest Kate? She draws a lot of cute, colorful animals with mental health-ish messages written next to them. I generally like her stuff, but I'd love to know your opinion!
"If you don't believe in depression, you can't be depressed." Maybe so, but only because you'll be numbed by alcohol or other drugs, or dead by suicide. I got the impression that he was speaking to a mostly male audience, which makes his message even more troubling, as men are already much more likely to turn to substance abuse or suicide than to get help for their depression.
Oh, man. My therapist recommended The Holistic Therapist the other week, and I hadn't gotten around to checking her out, thank you for the info, excited for the deep dive! Now I can recommend your channel back to my therapist, though! ❤️
When I first discovered the feeling wheel it changed my life, and on the 20th I submitted a 5-page synopsis on how it can be used to teach vocabulary for 13-year-olds in the foreign language classroom in English. I thought it would be amazing to allow young teenagers to learn the words and make them their own early before they started feeling too many of them themselves. I am in no way a therapist, but I am soon a teacher, and i think mental health is so important, and learning the words to communicate your feelings accurately can make for better student teacher relationship, and can allow students to communicate to not only me but themselves and each other what they need. I guess this is not really relevant to share here, but I also chose the one you used and not the original one from Gloria Willcox, as I don't feel that the feeling of "sexy" is appropriate in a classroom. I just felt like sharing with someone, as I feel that it is such an important graphic.
I'm so stunned with the 5 new love languages one. I've been feeling for a couple years now that what makes me feel the most loved is being heard and understood. Holy shit.
random dude on tiktok: I don't believe in depression, so it doesn't exist! me: ... I don't believe in myself... the matrix: character deleted successfully =)
I found there are full episodes of BBC "brat camp" on YT, I think it can be really interesting for your troubled teen video to check it out and share your opinion.
I have panic disorder and extreme anxiety and my therapists in the past have always given me literal steps (ON PAPER) and told me to read them and do them while I'm in a panic-attack. I just think it's insanely ridiculous that I was given a tutorial in a way when there would be no possibility for me to even begin to think about it. My current therapist has given me some of the best tips and she is so helpful with all of my long list of disorders and I'm so grateful.
I have managed to remember a few tricks to help me in a panic attack exactly one time, and that was ONLY because I felt that one coming on rather than it hitting hard suddenly, and I was able to stop and take care of myself before it got too bad. I hate when people expect people who has panic attacks to be able to remember to do that every single time. It's not realistic.
Nooo I just found the hollistic psychologist this week, and loved the few posts I've seen so far! But you have set such a good example of somebody who I really feel confident trusting the judgement of, though I'm not sure I can fully explain why. I'm all mixed up and apprehensive to see more of her stuff now 👀
I have another therapist that I'd love to hear your thoughts about: Dr K who has the Twitch/RUclips channels Healthy Gamer. Personally I like his content and have found it useful in that it taught me a lot about observing my own thought processes. I also like his blend of Western psychiatry and Buddhist philosophy. But I would like to know if there are red flags I'm not noticing.
I wish I could stop believing my way into curing my PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Agoraphobia, Fibromyalgia, Arthritis...... Editing to add re: marriage counseling: my wife and I entered counseling years ago to "save our marriage". It's been saved, we're honestly doing great. We choose to stay because having that person translate and mediate is invaluable, but also because we get another perspective to help us in all aspects of our partnership. Things we discuss with our marriage counselor include how to hep our kids with mental health issues; how to prep emotionally for my health issues; how to support one another through us both being trans; how to jointly approach a family member and maintain boundaries as parents; how to lift one another up; how to be supportive of each other as we're both navigating Recovery; how to navigate money stressors; how to support each other through external relationships (we're polyamorous). I could easily go on, but we've been seeing her for about three years, and that's a lot to cover. As both a counselor and someone with mental health issues, I cannot stress enough: therapy can be for everyone, at any time. If it's an option, even if it's just having someone you see once every month or two to process and discuss things, it's so invaluable.
The woman trying to dunk on fat people just seems like a regular British TV personality. British mass media is /extremely/ fatphobic. Not that American media isn't, but it's a different flavor. There's a show called Super Size Vs Super Skinny and there was a woman on that show who went on a "national campaign" that she called Ban Big Bums.
The first tiktok irked me. Redirecting awareness into your body is not the only way to healthily draw attention away from thought spirals. I have chronic pain and bringing the awareness to my body is actually counterproductive cause it's not going to go away - it's improved as much as it can with somatic therapy techniques and years of training. The physical pain in my body is a trigger for more spiraling thoughts. I talked to several therapists about this tiktok because how fucking depressed it made me during meltdowns and panic attacks. It was awful. The purpose of redirecting awareness doesn't have to be to redirect it to your own body. It can be through a different medium, like recognizing when you're spiraling, and then doing something else that requires a ton of concentration for long enough for you to just vibe with the triggered chemical flood of different hormones without letting your thoughts focus on attaching negative meaning to those hormones. It serves as a way to stop yourself from thinking about it in a destructive way, to giving you enough breathing room so the next time you think about it, you can try to focus on keeping your thoughts aligned with whatever is going to be most helpful to you in the situation. When they explained that, I finally felt like "oh thank god, I can feel my feelings without paying attention to my debilitating pain, getting triggered by it further, and worsening my own state of being because a tiktoker presented the concept in a way that leads me to believing paying attention to my own debilitating pain is the only way to feel my feelings."
So now, I watch stand up comedy long enough to draw my attention away from the thought spiral so I gain a bit more regulation over my body and mind, and when I feel like I'm in a calm enough state to mentally process everything, I return to it with a goal of keeping my thoughts under my own control, directed towards my highest good. But honestly, the last thing I need to be doing is visualizing pain blooming more in my own body. Not when my own pain has already had a hold on my body for over a decade. There's more than one way to do this and bodily awareness is not the only way.
A lot of people hear that I watch stand up comedy and then think "oh that's a negative coping skill cause you aren't working through the emotions" but not enough people recognize that to process heavy shit, you have to respect your limitations, and respecting distress tolerance. Working with distress tolerance for me looks like watching stand up comedy when I can find no happiness in life. It gives me the strength to get back to emotional regulation. I wish more people knew that.
Not sure if you've seen, but doctor Mike just released a new video a few days ago that I think you would be interested in. It's about treating a patient who was getting nowhere because other doctors overly focused on weight.
@@ciara2837 yeah I think it's an improvement but I don't like that he doesn't credit anyone for his change in thinking. Like i don't know if it was Mickey, but I'm sure there was some influence. People's opinions don't really flip flop randomly.
@@lucidthomas4402 She reacted to it on her Instagram and basically slammed him for speaking about the issue as a non-overweight person. Lmao you just can't win.
Lot's of homemade chocolate chip cookies. (Christmas was full of ups (my 2 yr old enjoying the day) and downs (talking to and ultimately screaming at my brother) so now on the 27th I'm still polishing off some of the cookies - and wishing that my regular therapy appointment for Tuesdays was on, but it's off for the holidays)
I think that the emotional intimacy just depends on the environment you grew up in. I know there is another comment that specifies race in relation to this and I’m sure that can be/is a factor. As a white person I know I don’t have the authority to speak on that at all, just wanted to acknowledge that this idea has been brought up already. From my own personal experience in a household where gender was irrelevant to the sorts of emotions you were allowed to express, I know I have issues on both sides, with sexual and emotional intimacy. I was not allowed to cry growing up, or express feelings. So I think that even though men definitely more frequently deal with being told or shown to bottle their emotions, this is an issue that should also be addressed when speaking about women as well.
Hi friends! Unfortunately the proverbial powers that be claimed my adsense over a 30 second segment of this video so it had to be trimmed out. 🙃 I'm sorry for those of you who missed it! The clip in question is Katie Hopkins (a right wing British media figure) describing to an audience and her co-hosts on a TV show that she intentionally gained weight so she could later lose it to prove that, in her own words, "fat people are, in fact, lazy." Sorry again and I hope this helps!
Ah, explains the jump! And I’ve heard just enough about Katie Hopkins to imagine the clip. 😐 She is… not my favorite.
She's a massive racist so I'm glad you didn't show her. Nasty POS l, as a Brit, we mostly can't stand her.
Hello. Can you please react to euphoria?? Pleaseee I’m begging you.
Also, if you do, could you maybe give me a shoutout? I’ve been subbed to you forever and I’m a small youtuber and I’m almost to 500 subs. Please? I love your videos sm and I look up to you sm
The "wheels of emotions" never helped me either. they just made me think "ah yes, I too can read a thesaurus"
This is an ongoing subject of discussion with my ND friends and myself. For us, some of the "emotions" don't line up correctly at all, and in many cases, there's a lack of words to cover what we ARE feeling. It's a good starting point, but it's also sometimes just overwhelming, especially if you're alexithymic or ND.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover For me I find it's only good when I'm alone. It's not helpful when talking to someone. And yeah, I agree with some of the feelings not lining up. It's easiest for me to deal with feelings by sorting them, and...50% of the time the wheel helps sort them.
It's a very neurotypical way of 'solving' the problem of not being able to name your emotions. I found it a bit insulting, as if I don't know what those words mean - it's lining them up with the physiological reaction I'm experiencing that's the issue. A completely colourblind person can know what colours are, and their relative wavelengths, and which primary colours make which secondary colours, and still not be able to tell you what colour those curtains are.
@@malenixius This, yes! You've just described alexithymia in a nutshell far better than I was. Thank you, I will remember this comparison for the future. And I agree. It can end up feeling a little patronising depending on who and how it's done.
@@JustAnotherBuckyLover Glad I could help! I've had a lot of experience trying to explain myself to 'professionals' so I've gotten good at metaphors, haha
I wish someone explained that first one to me, too. "Feel your feelings". Fuck no, I have BPD, my feelings make me feel like I'm going to die. Get me as far away from that as possible. If they had said, "notice your physical sensations and stop thinking", I might be way further ahead.
So much this. I have PMDD, so I simply cannot trust my emotions 5 days a month. Before my Dx, I burned down my entire life every 28 days for 8 months in a row. Quit my job, broke up with & got back together with my bf repeatedly, hooked up with my ex, cussed out friends who tried to help, engaged in $€|f~h***m, went off my meds...then I'd start my period and feel better, except that I'd look at the charred remains of my life and realize that I'd fucked it all to hell.
Most of my relationships did not recover, and...yeah. I just don't trust myself to "feel my feelings" during Werewolf Week any more.
But, like, noticing my bodily sensations? Yeah, that seems...safer.
I have BPD as well and... I am so grateful my therapist could explain things to me in a way that made sense. I had no idea that my emotions were so volatile before this.
I have BPD and that's why I love DBT (dialectical behavior therapy). It's basically a giant breakdown on how this (well partially, it's also interpersonal relationship stuff but learning how to feel feelings and process is a huge part)
Same! As a suicidal teenager it just made it worst with what i thought was feeling my feelings
Same! The first time a therapist walked me through that process I was FLABBERGASTED
"Are you living in- like 1995? Get on board" perfectly echoes my feelings around people who try to deny mental illness 🤣
As a trans guy, really appreciated the one gal who talked about toxic masculinity. A lot of trans guys, like myself don't relate that well to cis guys. Our socialization was to being a girl/woman. Consequently I much more enjoy being with women, trans men, and gay men.
I have a question. At one point with my last therapist, she said some things that genuinely led me to believe that we had WAY different views on a lot of really fundamental issues. They were always so off-the-cuff that I almost felt like I was overreacting, but I felt confident enough that politically she and I differed a lot. And that made me SO uncomfortable to be in that therapeutic relationship because I always felt that she would be silently judging me for my beliefs, my fears, my choices, etc. Had she not been my therapist, I suspect we could have been arguing online about social justice issues, welfare, socialised medicine and conspiracy theories that are pedalled as truth - at the very least.
I think it was the point where she dismissed my own friends' experiences with US healthcare and said that "if you can afford drugs, you can afford the money for therapy" without seeming to grasp that actually, most therapists don't accept IOUs, sex, stolen goods etc in lieu of payment, or how common it is with veterans to get properly covered by the VA. It was just a couple of off-the-cuff remarks, here and there, but it made me feel like my stomach plummeted through the floor.
I already felt as though I was...not at the top of her priority list (and clearly wasn't as she dropped me with no warning at the end of a session, despite knowing that this would probably be hard for ANYONE let alone an autistic person with abandonment issues, but you know...)
Anyway, I'm rambling, I'm sorry. The point is... I know that therapists are supposed to stay neutral, and I know it's not possible for every therapist to like every single person that they deal with, or agree with them on every single issue... but am I expecting too much? I just... wish I could find a therapist that... doesn't make me wonder if they groan every time they realise it's time for my session, or that secretly they think I'm... all of the negative things I already feel like I am and need help figuring out how to not feel.
Also, Katie Hopkins is an obnoxious piece of human detritis. Just ignore everything that comes out of her hateful, bigoted mouth.
no, you're not expecting too much
As someone who has been through 21 different therapists and 5 different diagnoses (in Sweden btw, where we have free health care) you are NOT expecting too much. You need to feel safe to really open up. I had one who was way to sarcastic for me. I have a hard time understanding sarcasm (which I told her the first time she used sarcasm) so after 3 sessions I had to switch. Then most others just quit, left for maternal leave and my last one had to drop clients because of covid (risk groups in her family).
Also, I really hope I didn't scare you by how many I have had, my point is, it needs to feel right for you. If it doesn't, tell them and try another one.
This sounds like such a horrible experience! I’m sorry you went through this, and for your therapist to end your therapeutic relationship out of the blue, must feel really isolating. I can assure you that this is not normal (actually unethical) behaviour! Therapists, if releasing clients, or trying to refer them on for specialised care should create an “exit plan” for their clients which their client partakes in the creation of. It sounds like the therapist who you visited unfortunately was not a very good fit for you - it also sounds like you felt this too when they were making insensitive comments about people with substance use issues… it might not feel like it now, but it might be a blessing in disguise that your relationship with them has ended, as it can open up opportunities for you to find someone to offer you the treatment you deserve. 💕
I second everything the other comenters have already said, but also just wanted to 100% agree with you that Katie Hopkins is a broken fire hydrant of toxic, hateful bial. Her only purpose in existing appears to be making the world a more horrible place. The less attention she receives the better
I also have ASD. Your therapist should have been very careful about what they revealed about their own self and their personal views because they shouldn't be judging you based on their own views. My current therapist is very much a christian, and on his site he does talk about how God/Jesus can help heal. I am not a christian. I saw those things on his profile online, and let him know in the first session that I was not a christian, I am agnostic and my spirituality is good at this point. So he never brought it up to me. Sometimes in his stories he might say he went to church or something but never preaching at me or saying something I would take as pushing religion on me. I don't feel like he judges me, but that's probably because he's never really done anything on me like your therapist was doing. I would personally leave a bad review for her on Google and on psychology today, but that's just my personal opinion.
When discussing your friend who was using illicit drugs, she should have provided a list of free resources for your friend rather than making a judgement. There are services that will provide 3 free therapy sessions, which may be all that is needed to start them on the road to a better place. It's not a cure, because things take a long time to work through, but it would be a start. When I was in my 20's I called a depression hotline and was setup with a therapist in my town and 3 free sessions. I ended up staying with her for 3 years. She understood I was a poor student and gave me a greatly discounted rate. She also did take IOU's and allowed me to call her personal cell phone if I needed to talk to her right away. Those are the kind of resources that should have been offered.
As someone that "broke up" with their therapist...(she was fine I just felt like I didn't need it anymore) she was proud of me for actually showing up and mustering up the courage to have that dificult conversation with her instead of just ghosting. She said it showed her how much I have grown and gave me a hug. It really build my confidence that she said that, it showed me that its ok to not be a people pleaser all the time and if people can't handle that then thats on them.
I think that when the woman in the TikTok is talking about emotional intimacy not being a risk for women she’s talking about white women. As a black woman I would say that emotional intimacy AND sexual intimacy are a risk for me. I can’t speak for every black woman but I know that I didn’t grow up in a family where I was encouraged to be emotional. I was mostly taught to act strong all the time and that women are the stability for the whole family.
This. My boyfriend is white and I'm constantly blown away by how comfortable he is being emotionally intimate.
Yeah... more generally speaking, I think being comfortable with emotional intimacy is associated moreso with middle/upper class White Americans (and probably Canadians too) who grew up in relatively healthy, stable environments.
@@jfm14 fr 🥴saying that women are able to be or even expected to be openly emotional, and also get to experience sympathy and no consequences for it is such a white woman take on this lol.....
Yeah, it's just so upsetting that the weight of the world always seems to fall on the shoulders of Black women. And then when they need to take a break and let someone else pull the weight for a while so they can recover, white people point fingers and say, "See how lazy they all are!" No matter what they do it always seems to be the wrong thing. I say we have a national holiday where Black women get a paid week off to do whatever they want. I'd suggest a cruise to someplace pretty and quiet, but with COVID we might need to think of a different retreat.
I think she was more so discussing what socially acceptable in general. So it’s seen that women are inherently emotional people whereas men are not. I see what u mean with people of colour and/ or people of lower class. But I guess she was talking on generals and what she sees in life, which may be a perception of privilege but I also do still agree with her point in more general terms. Obviously it doesn’t suit everyone tho
Your laugh/smile is so delightful and I'm really happy you left in the part where your partner teased you about your hand placement, that was so cute lol
I love her partner too lol! I feel like they have a really fun relationship!
The resistance of "I hate you (for that)," redirected to "I hated that." 😅
@@Mizzy0324 omg, yes! Love to see that demonstration of thoughtful (but still playful) communication in a relationship
@@meluvfriends I totally agree!
Happiness goals for real
I broke up with my therapist after just a couple sessions because I realised I wasn't feeling comfortable and helped in the way I needed. I just did it over email, and agonised over wording for a while. But I kept it simple and said I didn't feel like we were clicking and would like to see someone else. I ended by asking for any help/advice in finding a new therapist, and it was actually super nice and they helped me find another one who right off I felt a much better connection with. Just wanted to share for anyone worried, it can be done and can be easier and more simple than our fears tell us.
I read a book called "Not Always Depression" that was recommended to me by a therapist and found it very helpful, it's all about how to "feel your feelings". It's helpful whether you have depression or not by the way.
This was recommended to me by targeted instagram ads and I've been looking forward to getting it soon, so I very much appreciate you sharing your experience! Now it seems even more appropriate to me lol
I think the fact it’s called the “troubled teen INDUSTRY” is a huge red flag.
As a skinny person who is admittedly lazy and does not get up and exorcise nearly as much as I should, I'm disgusted by that woman saying that the only difference between "fat" and "skinny" people is that "fat" people are lazy and "skinny" people get up and move around. I'm skinny because I have a (dangerously) overactive metabolism that requires me to eat constantly in order to stay in a healthy weight range. My lifestyle has very little to do with how skinny I am, and the same is going to apply to people of all sizes. No one has the right to judge others for their body shape/size. You never know what the other person is going through and how it affects them.
Yes!!! I am the EXACT same way, and it irks me whenever anyone calls fat people "lazy" or says "they just don't care about their own health". I've been extremely skinny my whole life and I'm both lazier and more neglectful of my own physical health than any fat person I've met, lol (those aren't traits that I'm necessarily proud of, but it's true)
99.9% of people with a “fast metabolism” don’t have a fast metabolism. They don’t eat enough calories. That’s it. Just like 99.9% of people who are obese don’t just have a “medical disorder,” they eat too many calories. That’s it. That’s all it is.
I'll never get tired of your fat-postive content and breakdowns of fatphobia. I feel like fatphobia is so normalized it's very hard to find content that doesn't just take it for granted
The Maintenance Phase podcast is amazing and breaks down fat phobia in different aspects of life.
@@katelyn3490 I'll check it out!
@@katelyn3490 hey I saw your comment and looked it up and that podcast is genuinely so good and healing thank you
@@vampire7240 I'm glad you enjoyed it and got something good out of it!
As a former communications major who has found themselves working in mental health, communication is ABSOLUTELY essential!
19:30 omg! So I just won't believe in my ADHD and anxiety anymore- who knew it was that easy to function like a normal human being! It's so wild and crazy! /sar
Ditto! All of us ND folk are just imagining our struggles, I'm sure if we just try a little harder we can be "normal" again, right? /s
Jokes on that tik tok guy bc I've had episodes of depression and an anxiety disorder before I ever knew what those things were! 😭
Unfortunately, not knowing about or "believing" in depression or anxiety didnt cause me to not have those feelings/experience the struggles.....it just made me unable to communicate,receive help, or deal with it healthily 🙃
As someone who is doing my initial peer specialist training, I just want to immensely thank you for validating the dissonance between the theory and the personal relationship that we build with clients! You are a shining light in the peer specialist community!!
One of the most life-changing things my last counsellor did for me was show me how to connect with my emotions through physical sensations in my body, and how to let them evolve naturally by using visualisation. So for example I'd say "I'm feeling a tightness in my chest" and she would ask how I would describe that sensation visually. I would say something like "it feels like there is a hand squeezing my heart" and she would ask me what I felt like I wanted the hand to do. So I might say I want it to let go. Then she would talk me through imagining the hand slowly relaxing and opening and tenderly cupping my heart instead of squeezing it. And that would normally be the point where I would burst into tears for a while. And more often than not some memory or negative self-belief that I hadn't even been aware of would then spontaneously come to the surface that contributed to the feeling in the first place and we would then start exploring and analysing that.
I am a very visual person with a vivid imagination so I get that probably wouldn't have works for a lot of people but for me, it finally opened up a pathway to my emotions that I'd been struggling to find for like 20 years. It's been almost 2 years now of not being able to get counselling because I was on the waiting list for NHS trauma therapy, but I've used those techniques myself soo many times since I ended with her to keep progressing my self-awareness and solve acute issues
This was very useful, thank you for sharing!
Either I've smoked too much or I need therapy because the visualization of a hand gripping a heart and then gently cupping it as though there was love there made me cry.
When I have a panic attack I go to my parents and say I’m having a panic attack and why. they know not to over react, so they examine the issue (it’s usually health related) and say something along the lines of, “it looks normal to me,” or “its nothing to be worried about.” and just go on like everything is normal. Their presence and lack of a reaction let’s me know that everything is ok and it calms me down.
This is gonna sound really weird, but it's how I deal with my dogs freaking out, too 😅
For some reason, with empathetic animals (such as humans and dogs), trying to be "comforting" can actually affirm that there's something to be worried about, whereas behaving normally helps ground them again.
I'm really glad your parents are able to help you in that way ❤️
The ghost/depression analogy really only works if the ghosts are real in that situation, which somehow proves the exact opposite of the point he’s trying to make.
I love the goth/punk kid talking about breaking up with a therapist...I can relate to it a lot. I went to a therapist at 15 and I felt listened to maybe a tiny bit for the first couple of visits..then after a few months went by, I started to realize that we weren't really getting anywhere and she didn't even realize that my grandmother was the one abusing me. She took me in at a young age and raised me and she abused me in many different ways..she will deny it to this very day. But the fact that the therapist that had been working for 20 years didn't pick up on the fact that my grandmother wouldn't let me be alone for sessions because she was afraid I would open up about her abusing me..and by the time I did start going in alone, she had me so drained and controlled. I also struggled with anorexia and that was never picked up on..she never diagnosed me with p.t.s.d. which ik I have. I can't function without medical marijuana..I hate how crippling it is for me to even leave the house. I have to mentally prepare myself to go out and do things. It sucks..I am afraid of people altogether.
How could a therapist not understand that one person. They communicated their emotions so clearly and concisely! Wishing them the best of luck in finding their new therapist!
My last panic attack I made it through it because I latched on to a phrase my good friend always says “it’s what it’s.” 😅
I can never predict how I’ll deal with a panic attack but I’m glad I found something.
One way to say that (it is what it is) in Spanish is “eso sí que es” - which is pronounced like you’re spelling the word SOCKS. So, if “it’s what it’s” ever doesn’t work for you, there’s always SOCKS to fall back on.
@@jdubbis lol I like it thank you. It’s both smarter and sillier than “it’s what it’s”. Just put all these phrases in my back pocket. 😂
"Now we're just having fun", I laughed so hard, thank you for that!
I am straight sized (a size M or L) but I still experienced bullying for my weight so I learned that people think that my body is disgusting and I hate it to this day. And when people bullied me for my weight I wasn't even as big as I am today. Looking back I was completely average and my only 'sin' was that I wasn't good at P.E. It's messed up that the ideal body for a woman according to society at the time was so thin that even 'regular' sized people got body shamed. I think that the thin ideal in my country is still very popular (I'm not saying this to hate thin people) and bigger people still get body shamed. I know I'm straight sized and I can't even imagine how much hate plus sized people get just for being the way they are. I think people should be more accepting of each other and we shouldn't try to make everybody fit into a certain mold. Everybody is different and that should be okay.
I feel you. I am still in my (late) teens but I have been struggling since age 9. I am also in between M/L sometimes a S will fit for shirt, but I prefer bigger clothes. I always get comments on my body, sice, meals, how much I eat, how "little" I eat. We just can't win. Even when I lost a lot of weight (unhealthy amounts) I got shamed for "loosing my curves" which is just.... what?
We are beautiful as we are, and I know it's hard and often a fight every day, but I hope it gets better for us both. 💞
@@SammyLammy1D I also managed to lose a lot of weight one time and people were calling me anorexic. Even though I was still in the healthy weight range my ribs were showing on the front of my chest and my my arms looked very thin. I wasn't anorexic I was just experimenting with how much weight I can lose. Even one of my teachers thought I was sick and sent me to the doctor's that was completely unneccessary and a bit humiliating too. One of me classmates even slutshamed me. This too just proves that you cannot win.
It is extremely messed up. It is as if you can't ever make it right.
My size is and was almost always L and somehow my parents, classmates and teachers called me fat in a derogative way. I also couldn't find any clothes that fit me in my town, because my peers "should all be thin".
So I grew up believing that being fat was bad and that I was fat.
After 10 years spent battling and healing my eating disorder, I'm still trying to feel confident in my body.
What was that all for? Did people in my past want me to be thin and "healthy"? Well, they caused so much struggle and so much illness!
@@lilyavabrooks It also depends on who you're surrounded with. Parents and teachers (in an ideal case) should never body shame you.
@@darkphoenix7342 True. Unfortunately when you're a child and most vulnerable, you can't choose who you're surrounded with, like your parents, teachers and even classmates.
I hope that I and people like me would help the younger generation in our lives not to experience the same things.
Also body positivity helps people in all sizes. My size is M/L on the bottom and S/M on top, but I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia for over a decade. The body pos movement, therapy, and pole fitness have helped me hate myself less. When people fatshame or make comments like around diets, it’s hella triggering for me and I usually have to leave the conversation.
19:06 As a type 1 diabetic with depression this comparison made my day 😂
It was fascinating to me to see the "feel your feelings" and "feel your body" info at the start of the video, because I taught myself that, against professional advice.
I found that when I was having panic attacks, if I focused on my heart rate and blood pressure (I have a monitor on at all times for my disability), and other physical sensations, it helped me focus my breathing and moved me away from the spiraling thoughts.
My therapist at the time strongly discouraged that, saying that fixating on the physical symptoms would just psych me out more, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, but it did the opposite for me. It allowed me to remind myself that I was having a physiological experience, and my thoughts were not lucid. It's the only way that consistently works to bring me back from a panic attack: treating it like a pain response.
13:30 omg such a chord struck, it is hard being very self aware and have successfully intellectualised my mental health problems that are associated with my physical health, but understanding your issues is so frustrating and the guilt is huuuge for not just doing what you think/ know you should do because of exhaustion and hopelessness.
Really loved the first clip (and the others!). This description of "feel your feelings" reminds me of the form of meditation where you let thoughts go by and return to sensing your breath, or in this case, the symptoms of your emotion. Fantastic!
I was 220 at my highest weight and it really was because I was over eating. I had 2nds and 3rds full plates for dinner. Eating less and better food was the answer. 3 years later I’m 152. There was a year of lifting weights for gym class last year and working a job during the summer that requires physical labor on the bay. Telling someone to eat less without being asked their opinion or for help isn’t okay but it can genuinely be the best advice in my experience.
Bit random but at 3:27 right after you’d said “hold on” my phone started buffering but I didn’t realize it cause it seemed like you’d said “hold on” then just stopped talking, and I was like “okay… I’m holding on…”
My therapist (several years ago, I have a different therapist who has assured me I won’t be leaving therapy with her until I feel ready to) ghosted me. We spent our sessions making self deprecating jokes at each other and I think the therapist said that it wasn’t working out but no one told me that until after I came back from residential treatment for suicidality.
My therapist ghosted me too during the pandemic. I don't think she would have under normal circumstances, and I like her a lot, but it still hurt.
I want to thank you for continually sharing your fat positivity! You have really truly opened my eyes to this issue.
Every time I'm reminded Katie Hopkins exists I lose a little more faith in humanity
i wasn’t expecting the TTI clip ☹️ i went to two. i have no knowledge of anyone being licensed most of the ppl just came from the small town, and would otherwise work at a factory job. but not only did these staff participate in abuse but the townspeople also treated us horribly. (the rare times we were allowed to leave the facility).
I got to the end, very end where the sign off is "leave me some comments if you have any thoughts and feelings" and I said to myself "no, I have none of those" and I laughed for a minutes straight because it's an absurd assertion all around and an especially absurd thing to say to a licensed therapist who would probably feel tired just from hearing it, but my constant need to be contrary and cause other discomfort for my own momentary amusement is probably part of why I should be in therapy... Anyway, it's still funny to me in theory, but I really don't actually want to cause anyone distress irl. The early internet just did a number on me, and I'm working on that.
Feeling vs suppressing emotions was such a big thing when I was with my therapist, and it’s so real.
I had a day where, my aunt had recently passed away, right in the middle of college midterms, so I wouldn’t be able to attend her funeral. I kept telling myself I had to push through and be good and study and stay put. And the next day… I started crying. And I couldn’t stop. Every time I would think “okay that’s enough let’s stop crying now” it would START UP AGAIN. I cried on and off for EIGHT HOURS on campus and through three classes. My eyes ached. My face ached. Every time during the day when I tried to push it down harder and harder and harder I just kept crying MORE, not sobbing or wailing or being loud, but my eyes wouldn’t stop watering and my chest wouldn’t stop aching. My final class, a lab, the professor approached me and said she would feed my cells and I needed to go home because she had never seen anyone look “so profoundly miserable and exhausted” even as I was trying so hard to hold it in.
It was only when I gave myself a few days to grieve the initial shock without “forcing” myself to be useful or productive or “normal” that I could actually begin to function again. “Pushing it down” just made it worse, and made me physically sick and exhausted.
Feeling wheels remind me so much of when I first listened to the actual play podcast Friends at the Table because the first season I listened to they were playing a game called "The Veil" where whenever a player needs to roll dice, they describe how their character is feeling and roll their stat associated with whichever one of the six core feelings that is associated with. (If you know a little about more traditional games like dnd, rpgs usually ask players to roll dice when they're going to do something that might go wrong in an interesting way, and usually the stats are things like "strength" and "charisma" instead of "joyful" and "afraid") I was in therapy at the time and I *swear* I started making so much more progress while listening to this podcast that *wasn't* about therapy or mental health in particular but *was* for a while constantly checking in on and thoughtfully identifying the feelings of these fictional characters.
i did ghost a therapist several years ago. in my defense i was thirteen years old also i was in therapy mostly for my truly terrible communication skills (which is something she didn’t help me with, in fact she made it worse). so yeah i just stopped making appointments. anyways it worked out for me, i have a new therapist who has really helped me with my communication skills and not that i’m going to but if i were to “break up” with a therapist i would talk to them and not just ghost them.
I've done the "feel your feelings" exercise with my therapist countless times without ever realizing exactly what it was that we were doing, but lord everything makes so much sense now
I feel so lucky because I’ve never had to break up with a therapist. I didn’t fully click with my last therapist, but then she went on maternity leave and I got referred to another therapist and she helped me so much and we could just both tell that she was better suited for me, so even when my initial therapist was back from maternity leave, I stayed with the one I’d been referred to.
I could watch you all day every day!
You are so beautiful inside and out and such a ray of sunshine that I long for Saturdays so I can have new content coming from you.
I don't want to put my life story here but I got more help from you this year than I did in 10 years of living in pain, in a fat body, depressed and being poked and yelled at by doctors. Did that make sense? haha
Anyways, thank you!
And Merry Christmas. =)
Katie Hopkins makes a living off being abrasive, and flaunting unpopular (generally offensive) opinions. The Brits do not claim her lol
aha I sure do need a therapist, but the moola,,,,, great vid tho I think this is my first time catching mac’s famous mac n cheese on your wall!!( ,:
ps. the outro music felt a little too loud this time idk if that’s jus me
My first therapist ghosted ME. An appointment was cancelled or missed and I emailed her a couple times to schedule another one and never got an answer. I went without therapy for like a year cause I didn't want to call and "tell on" her to find a new therapist. Also being someone with social anxiety who feels like everyone abandons me, that was SO GREAT for my mental health 🙃
Thank you for your words about 'the holistic therapist''!!!!
So important for people to know what the folks they support actually represent
Your laugh is so infectious!
What’s your favorite kind of tiktoks? I like the makeup transition types. I love seeing the artistry and creativity put into the designs and styles; it feels me with a sense of wonder.
I'm pleasantly surprised you posted on Christmas! Haven't finished the video yet, but just wanted to say I love your content and it has been such a nice comfort for me over the last year. Thank you for all the work you do on this channel! 🙏
ugh i love you sm. These are so funny
I made sugar cookies and enjoyed taking the time to make them look absolutely stunning. I love all your videos!!
I'd watch more of these!! :) I really enjoy watching your videos and just listening to you talk about things, serious and not. I enjoy your personal takes and jokes but also lots of other stuff that boils down to "your channel is a very safe space for me and I really appreciate it". ♥️
THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL FEELINGS???? OH MY GOD🤯
You don’t know how Katy Hopkins is… I’m jealous! You should probably look up Katy Hopkins kids names interview, that says it all. She makes Fox News look good.
The feeling your feeling bit was so good! My therapist had given me a little worksheet i can print out where i write why I’m feeling bad, then separating my thoughts from my physicality. That helped a lot but i think the list would be less time consuming. I’m not tryin to write a full essay every time i have an anxiety attack 😂
The depression not existing analogy thing was hilariously bad but the other person lost me with the outdated chemical imbalance theory.
Yess I was expecting Mickey to comment on that! As someone with a neurodevelopmental disorder I feel very uncomfortable at people ascribing all of their woes to neurochemical imbalances when they adamantly repress all their childhood trauma so it's frequently slipping out and rearing its ugly head at them 🤔
True. I'm sure Mickey already knows about this (due to continuing education, if not her initial training) but relatively few people are aware that the chemical imbalance theory is no longer widely believed.
@@jfm14 wait really? I didn’t know that!
Today I learned...lol. I'm off to read how outdated it is!
I'm proud of that obesity expert and my heart hurts for her.
Hey. Just wanted to leave a comment to say two things:
1. I loved this reaction video, and I love how constructive you are in your responses :)
2. It would really help if you, in the future, made the video into chapters. Especially longer videos (20-30+ mins.) This makes it a lot easier to jump back into a video one haven`t finished, and one will not have to skim through the content to find the correct spot.
Someone said that you and I look a bit alike and it thought that it was such a nice compliment! 🥰
I don’t know if I show laugh or be concerned that I’ve seen so many of these TikTok’s 😂
Hey, have you ever seen anything by The Latest Kate? She draws a lot of cute, colorful animals with mental health-ish messages written next to them. I generally like her stuff, but I'd love to know your opinion!
As a school counselor I teach elementary age kids to feel there feelings all the time. I use a book called "Listening To My Body" by Gabi Garcia.
"If you don't believe in depression, you can't be depressed." Maybe so, but only because you'll be numbed by alcohol or other drugs, or dead by suicide. I got the impression that he was speaking to a mostly male audience, which makes his message even more troubling, as men are already much more likely to turn to substance abuse or suicide than to get help for their depression.
wow, you surgically dismantling Andrew Tate about depression hits REAL different now.
My husband and I just love you guys ❤️ Happy happy merry merry Christmas 🎄⛄
The British thing was interesting - I was wondering who it could be and then you said Katie Hopkins and I burst out laughing - she’s the worst!
Love your videos. Thanks for sharing!
Your content is fantastic 😊 I always get excited whenever I get the notification for your videos!
Oh, man. My therapist recommended The Holistic Therapist the other week, and I hadn't gotten around to checking her out, thank you for the info, excited for the deep dive! Now I can recommend your channel back to my therapist, though! ❤️
I’m not surprised Andrew Tate had a dumb take.
Your hair looks great!! 💚
Hearing you talk about panic attacks, i would love a Ted Lasso reaction to his therapy sessions ❤️
When I first discovered the feeling wheel it changed my life, and on the 20th I submitted a 5-page synopsis on how it can be used to teach vocabulary for 13-year-olds in the foreign language classroom in English. I thought it would be amazing to allow young teenagers to learn the words and make them their own early before they started feeling too many of them themselves. I am in no way a therapist, but I am soon a teacher, and i think mental health is so important, and learning the words to communicate your feelings accurately can make for better student teacher relationship, and can allow students to communicate to not only me but themselves and each other what they need. I guess this is not really relevant to share here, but I also chose the one you used and not the original one from Gloria Willcox, as I don't feel that the feeling of "sexy" is appropriate in a classroom. I just felt like sharing with someone, as I feel that it is such an important graphic.
Itching about the video. But love your shirt. I’m literally wearing the same one rn lol
I'm so stunned with the 5 new love languages one. I've been feeling for a couple years now that what makes me feel the most loved is being heard and understood. Holy shit.
random dude on tiktok: I don't believe in depression, so it doesn't exist!
me: ... I don't believe in myself...
the matrix: character deleted successfully =)
Merry Chrysler Mickey Atkins!
Merry Crisis!
I found there are full episodes of BBC "brat camp" on YT, I think it can be really interesting for your troubled teen video to check it out and share your opinion.
I have panic disorder and extreme anxiety and my therapists in the past have always given me literal steps (ON PAPER) and told me to read them and do them while I'm in a panic-attack. I just think it's insanely ridiculous that I was given a tutorial in a way when there would be no possibility for me to even begin to think about it. My current therapist has given me some of the best tips and she is so helpful with all of my long list of disorders and I'm so grateful.
I have managed to remember a few tricks to help me in a panic attack exactly one time, and that was ONLY because I felt that one coming on rather than it hitting hard suddenly, and I was able to stop and take care of myself before it got too bad. I hate when people expect people who has panic attacks to be able to remember to do that every single time. It's not realistic.
The egg picture behind you; is that a pokemon meme?
Yes it is! It’s my best attempt at a Pokémon go egg lol
@@MickeyAtkins I'd say you nailed it!
It's GREAT!!!. I love it when other people are pokemon fans.
so glad you have a plethora of content so I can go from a heavy video about Dr Phil exploitation to this lmao
Nooo I just found the hollistic psychologist this week, and loved the few posts I've seen so far! But you have set such a good example of somebody who I really feel confident trusting the judgement of, though I'm not sure I can fully explain why. I'm all mixed up and apprehensive to see more of her stuff now 👀
I have another therapist that I'd love to hear your thoughts about: Dr K who has the Twitch/RUclips channels Healthy Gamer. Personally I like his content and have found it useful in that it taught me a lot about observing my own thought processes. I also like his blend of Western psychiatry and Buddhist philosophy. But I would like to know if there are red flags I'm not noticing.
Hard to explain but that talk show clip was not only hella fatphobic, it also felt hella dystopian
I wish I could stop believing my way into curing my PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Agoraphobia, Fibromyalgia, Arthritis......
Editing to add re: marriage counseling: my wife and I entered counseling years ago to "save our marriage". It's been saved, we're honestly doing great. We choose to stay because having that person translate and mediate is invaluable, but also because we get another perspective to help us in all aspects of our partnership. Things we discuss with our marriage counselor include how to hep our kids with mental health issues; how to prep emotionally for my health issues; how to support one another through us both being trans; how to jointly approach a family member and maintain boundaries as parents; how to lift one another up; how to be supportive of each other as we're both navigating Recovery; how to navigate money stressors; how to support each other through external relationships (we're polyamorous). I could easily go on, but we've been seeing her for about three years, and that's a lot to cover. As both a counselor and someone with mental health issues, I cannot stress enough: therapy can be for everyone, at any time. If it's an option, even if it's just having someone you see once every month or two to process and discuss things, it's so invaluable.
The woman trying to dunk on fat people just seems like a regular British TV personality. British mass media is /extremely/ fatphobic. Not that American media isn't, but it's a different flavor. There's a show called Super Size Vs Super Skinny and there was a woman on that show who went on a "national campaign" that she called Ban Big Bums.
The first tiktok irked me. Redirecting awareness into your body is not the only way to healthily draw attention away from thought spirals. I have chronic pain and bringing the awareness to my body is actually counterproductive cause it's not going to go away - it's improved as much as it can with somatic therapy techniques and years of training. The physical pain in my body is a trigger for more spiraling thoughts. I talked to several therapists about this tiktok because how fucking depressed it made me during meltdowns and panic attacks. It was awful. The purpose of redirecting awareness doesn't have to be to redirect it to your own body. It can be through a different medium, like recognizing when you're spiraling, and then doing something else that requires a ton of concentration for long enough for you to just vibe with the triggered chemical flood of different hormones without letting your thoughts focus on attaching negative meaning to those hormones. It serves as a way to stop yourself from thinking about it in a destructive way, to giving you enough breathing room so the next time you think about it, you can try to focus on keeping your thoughts aligned with whatever is going to be most helpful to you in the situation. When they explained that, I finally felt like "oh thank god, I can feel my feelings without paying attention to my debilitating pain, getting triggered by it further, and worsening my own state of being because a tiktoker presented the concept in a way that leads me to believing paying attention to my own debilitating pain is the only way to feel my feelings."
So now, I watch stand up comedy long enough to draw my attention away from the thought spiral so I gain a bit more regulation over my body and mind, and when I feel like I'm in a calm enough state to mentally process everything, I return to it with a goal of keeping my thoughts under my own control, directed towards my highest good. But honestly, the last thing I need to be doing is visualizing pain blooming more in my own body. Not when my own pain has already had a hold on my body for over a decade. There's more than one way to do this and bodily awareness is not the only way.
A lot of people hear that I watch stand up comedy and then think "oh that's a negative coping skill cause you aren't working through the emotions" but not enough people recognize that to process heavy shit, you have to respect your limitations, and respecting distress tolerance. Working with distress tolerance for me looks like watching stand up comedy when I can find no happiness in life. It gives me the strength to get back to emotional regulation. I wish more people knew that.
Oh this is exactly what I needed right now!!
PS Katie Hopkins sounds awful.
Merry Christmas
Good on that young womans mom for NOT threatening her with going back to the camp. That camp and the therapist in it sounds awful.
Merry Christmas Mickey!
i went to wilderness and a residential treatment center in Utah, it was a nightmare
I would love to hear more about the love language
Not sure if you've seen, but doctor Mike just released a new video a few days ago that I think you would be interested in. It's about treating a patient who was getting nowhere because other doctors overly focused on weight.
I personally think its a bit ironic considering the fatphobic things he's said in the past
@@ciara2837 yeah I think it's an improvement but I don't like that he doesn't credit anyone for his change in thinking. Like i don't know if it was Mickey, but I'm sure there was some influence. People's opinions don't really flip flop randomly.
@@lucidthomas4402 She reacted to it on her Instagram and basically slammed him for speaking about the issue as a non-overweight person. Lmao you just can't win.
@@gymnasticsgirlie0647 oh what did she say?
Ooooooooh I'm looking forward to the Nicole le Pera video!!!
From the packet Ramen made with Beef bone broth, acv, and cabbage.
Merry Xmas Mickey
Lot's of homemade chocolate chip cookies. (Christmas was full of ups (my 2 yr old enjoying the day) and downs (talking to and ultimately screaming at my brother) so now on the 27th I'm still polishing off some of the cookies - and wishing that my regular therapy appointment for Tuesdays was on, but it's off for the holidays)
I think that the emotional intimacy just depends on the environment you grew up in. I know there is another comment that specifies race in relation to this and I’m sure that can be/is a factor. As a white person I know I don’t have the authority to speak on that at all, just wanted to acknowledge that this idea has been brought up already. From my own personal experience in a household where gender was irrelevant to the sorts of emotions you were allowed to express, I know I have issues on both sides, with sexual and emotional intimacy. I was not allowed to cry growing up, or express feelings. So I think that even though men definitely more frequently deal with being told or shown to bottle their emotions, this is an issue that should also be addressed when speaking about women as well.