When my mother or us children were sick in my father's side home, his relatives ignored us and my mother's side relatives travelled from other city and took care of us and our treatment. Whenever my mother was pregnant, no one from father's side helped her and she was sent to mayka till babies were borne and raised upto 4-5 months age. How was it my mother's fault that we became more attached to her side of relatives, not father's side?
Yes father side don't want to take responsibility of expenses and other involvement if 2 3 uncle separated they concentrated only for themselves than 1 who is weak in finance, education, inteligent etc all this matter s.
Ye exactly ...I saw my chachi who was alone when she was pregnant dadi said maine akele kia tha maine ye kia tha vo kia tum log nai kar sakte bade najuk ho...gyan gyan n gyan...sabke hote chachi ko akele dono daughter ko palte dekha ...dadi was forching to have 3rd kid kuki ladka nai hai na....chachi refused ....bachhe nani side se jude kuki unki maa ki help kqrte sirf nana ,nani aur mama ko dekha ....obvious hai na....hoga hi...aab aye mere bari mere 2 babies hi under 5 2nd one is just turned 2 last 6.5 years were toughest for me ...i asked help just to keep eye on kids when i am in kitchen or taking bath ....sas refused...i broke my leg twice ...still i made food , bachhe ko school bhejna homework karana ...little one ko dekhna ...husband here and there help karte jab ghar hote....but saas sasur kept their eyes and ear shut...i went to my mother for 7 months 1st time after the age of 18 i was with my parents for this long....yaha kisi ne parwah nai kia ...na mere ..chalo mere to mai umeed nai karti...kids ki bhi...mere dada dadi to hame kuch ho jaye sote nai the...ye to aram se sote rote bachhe ki awaj tak nai ati....last 3 days se chhota baby 2 year ka mera 102-103 fever me hai...kisi ne sar pe hath tak nai rakha ....nana nani mama bechain ki kaisa hai kaisa hai...kaise jid jaye aise in laws n aise dada dadi se ...mai eo joint family me pali hu...mujhe lagta tha life aise hoti...sasural aake pata chala ki life aise nai jitna pyar dada dadi hamse karte the...har dada dadi nai karte....uper jo chachi ki baat boli vo mere papa ki cousin ki wife hai...mere dada dadi bahot achhe the aur mere maa ko apna bachha samjhte the...air ye mai itne purane jamane ki baat kah rai....mere mother ko mental disorder hai schizophrenia....itna pyar jitna unke parents ne nai kia ...jhad fuk karwate rahe .....jabki dada n papa ne unko doc ko dikhaya n she is on medication since then n leading a happy life....pyar karna papa se sikha ...dada se sikha ...yaha pyar karu ki kya samajh hi nai ata
A married woman should definitely be with her own family if she doesn't get the required support from her in-laws despite she trying her best to build good relation with them. In my case I was emotionally tortured by by mother in law, father in law, brother in law and married sister in law who had her constant intervention in my matters. If a woman cannot go to maika, her sister in law also shouldn't come to her maika. The rule should apply for all. It would be great if you could think from the perspective of a lady who is new to a house and is considered as an outsider and doesn't get the love and respect. Please Note: Husband's role is very important in supporting his wife and being there for her. To all the women: Please beware of Mamma's boy!!!
You are 100 % right. Most of the in laws are good people to the world but toxic to daughter in laws. They are over critical and create a lot of stress. No woman distances herself intentionally from her in laws.
There is no mamaboy , men are selfish ,they dance to tune of mother in their interest otherwise yhey woul themselves cared for their mothers ,oksy , a woman doesnit look after her on laws ,man should his parents but we teach our sons to be served in hand n marry yhem to fet a permanent servant in their service ,who will look after household ,earn , bear tantrums of their son n themselves as sacred duty so either couple divirced or parents go in old age home when the interfering daughter refuses to take responsibility.
Women want the best of both worlds, they want someone financially stable but also want to be the boss girl and run the show at home. You will only get a mamas boy, no strong man wants to deal with boss girls
Being a modern and educated lady and giving my best to relations on both sides, I have realised that women are treated unfairly on both sides. When she goes to in- laws side, she is always valued and treated less than her husbands, and when she goes to mother's side, she is always valued less than her brother. She is born and lives in her family for atleast 20-25 years and suddenly is made to leave the house in the facade of marriage. Then she goes to in-laws family thinking that thats her house and family but gradually is made to realise that she will always be an treated as outsiders. Hence , a female should understand that she has to be too tough to digest this bitter fact that she is on her own and she will always be treated as a second citizen in a country like india and she needs to be financially independent to be really happy and stop expecting too much from both sides even from husband. Search for a purpose in your life and attaining it will give you peace and self-satisfaction. You have to live with this bitter truth forever.
So true and nice advice for all women. Society is changing but slowly. Ultimately time will come when western norms will prevail and parents stop over expectations and stop over protection of children as well.
Biggest loss is to the kids who miss on to relationships, love and affection they deserve. Passing on own trauma and negative emotions to next generation should be avoided.
@@krutikah1468 for sure. If that has happened , it has to be stopped somewhere. Bahu is again victim of MIL’s traumatic life, hence onus lies on each one of us to stop it and break the chain.
Toxic relationships se deal karne se better hai wo dimag and energy apne career build karne mein lagaye make your own empire and secure the future of ur kids
@@krutikah1468eh gud family or bad family ka difference hota hai. But atlast new generation ki siblings ki relation kharab krna is biggest crime . Jha family kaam ati hai wha career dharae reh jatae hai. West mai career hai logo k pass but 4 5 step father or 3 4 step mothers ko jhelna bhi padta hai. It is adviced to not break families to make career. Bacha bolta hua acha ni lagega ki yeh mera 4 th father ya mother hai. Or uskae brain pai jo effect padega vo alag. Aaj family break hogi alga number divorce ka ata hai phir. Family hi divorces sae bacha sakti hai.
@@ssunita9253 taali dono haath bajti hai if the relation doesn’t work out between the daughter in law and the in laws property ke lalach mein relation kyun rakhna ….. any relations based on greed will not be good for anyone according to me wo hamein paise aur property mein hissa de isliye hum dua salaam kare this is the message of this video and I think koi bhi itna bewakoof hai nahi ki wo samajh na sake ki ye hamein matlab se poochh rahi hai
His older advice (to boys) about preparing to be independent after marriage seems more preferable to me. Newly married girl should not be left alone to fight for herself against toxic in laws. The husband should also play a part in smoothing out the relationship. Although it is traditional for a girl to leave her home and join a new one after marriage, it still seems unnatural to me (ie. psychologically for the girl to accept a group of strangers as replacement of those she grew up with). That's why involvement of the husband in bettering relationships at home is a must.
Even the in-laws should put efforts to help the Dil integrate into the family and not treat her like an outsider and give priority to their daughters.relationships work both ways .Also a daughter who keeps good relationship eith her parents place and helps them out in her own capacity will always be welcome irrespective of circumstances
Dear maam please don't be under this misconception. Trust me I am a counsellor. Reality is something else. Definitely not ideal. Daughter is welcome into the familybtill parents are alive. After that no one bothers.
Being a girl what I feel is that most of the boys themselves are not very attached to their families. I have seen boys who speaks for only 2 minutes with his parents and to his siblings only during family function - no rituals of phone calls to close relatives if they are studying or working away from home. How are the girls supposed to change it? I have seen many girls who keep good relations with their relatives even if they are studying and working away from home. But many boys only talk with their friends with no regular family connection even before marriage. How is the girl supposed to change it after marriage? So, she keeps continuing doing the same after marriage and the boys themselves can not do it because they have never done it earlier. Of course, if the boy was keeping good relations earlier, it would be wrong for the girl if she tries to change it. Note: would really like to know what should be the girls role in such situation? These situations are not uncommon too, atleast in my vicinity.
You don't understand boys... Yes whatever you said is true but boys are built in like that we cannot express so much but deep down we care for our parents in case of Hospitals emergency we come without thinking anything while in call we generally talk about parents health and end our call... We may not talk with our cousins but whenever we meet we have the best time but i have seen in between female cousins if they had fight they will not talk with each other even in family functions same is not same for boys.... Even for friends, we may not meet or talk with a very close friend for a year bcoz we live elsewhere but whenever we meet we enjoy like brothers same for old schools friend if we somehow meet randomly we talk like brothers... But we don't talk with friends for over an hour in a call..... Same is not for among girls... I have seen among female friends they talk hours with each other but crib among each other behind back small fight they will never talk.... Even other female friends will not initiate to stop that fight... Same is not for boys we may fight but we are brothers very next moment with a simple Bokach**a word... boys are different
In indian society, women are not treated fairly. After marriage it becomes wife's duty to maintain relationships.. in laws from husband side are always biased towards thier son and expect wife to adjust in all the scenarios. Now a days when women are working outside home as much as men, it is very unfair.
Hats off to you sir .jis topic par koi charcha nahi karta..aap us par clarity dete hain.. Ek video aise patio par bhi banaye jo patni ka mayka chhurwa dete hai...the other side of the story is also happening in society..
Most of cases pati aisa nahi karta. Kyonki jab tak uske khud k ghar main shanti hai usko farak nahi padata kyonki usko patani k pihar main nahi rahana. But patani ko uske sasural rahana hai. Jab uske ghar main ashanti hoti hai or uski maa kahati hai ki ye sab tumhari wife k pihar(mayaka) k vajah say ho raha hai to pati rare cases main aisa karta hai. Most of cases jab bacche bade hona suru hote hai and wife k hath main pura ghar power aa jaati hai to khud hi mayake main jaana kam ho jaata hai. Kyonki mayake main bhi power ladki k maa baap k paas say nikal kar bhabi k hath main ja chuki hoti hai
That's true...I am dealing with same issue my husband and mil including sil made to stay away from my mum.first mil said this to my husband and eventually it turns on me
Not always manipulated, if the chemistry is not there, it is not there. No one can help! If a common ground is not there constantly, ppl also do evolve in different directions ..could be members of boys' or girls' family. Cannot put the blame entirely on the girl and her family always, either side could be the culprit.
The root cause of why women are so vulnerable and dependent on the good-will of their "peehar" and "sasural", is that the vast majority of Indian women are not financially independent. The blame lies squarely on the parents of daughters who don't invest in the education of their female children and treat them as a burden, both financial and social.
Mother in laws consider it their birth right to claim the earnings of their daughter in law. The working daughter in law is expected to contribute all the money to her sasural for proving her loyalty. Then also she is verbally abused. The only advantage working women have is that they can file for divorce and live independently
I am a Bua who loves all her nieces and nephews. I spend time with them , o play with them i take them out to different places for their entertainment, buy them fancy stuff , and take them to different places, help them in studies and try to be their friend. My mom dad love their grandchildren too. But all we get to hear from their mothers (the bhabhis) is that their side of the family is way better and loving . Though , they never spent a single penny on the kid’s education , Or on providing a good lifestyle to the children. My parents spoil them with so much affection and pampering too. Yet efforts from our side of the family are never appreciated they are always shown as Null. And efforts from the mothers side of the family is overly exaggerated in front of children and the relatives. Yet children are brainwashed to love their Nani’s house more (Which isn’t bad I believe) But why would some women brainwash their children to hate on the father’s side of the family?! Why would they show Bua’s and dadis as villains. Like what have we done!!!?? not all Bua’s , chachas and dada dadis are bad! I hope , some day the children grow up to the see the reality themselves. 🙃
You and your family are good,but ground reality is very different in maximum houses in India, daughter's in law are the most neglected person in the family, especially when that girl belongs to middle or poor background
See it depends on person to person. Not all sasuma are villans and not all Bahu are abla.its totally depends on person's characters. My mother was I'll treated by her mother in law husband n sisters in law. She and I were mentally n Physically abused..she left the house and went to Nana Nani there she was beaten n insulted by Bhabhi n Brother. Even my Nana Nani got beaten. It was an ugly situation. So this proves not All sasuma is good n not all bahu r good
@@anjal3753 I don't think living separately from elders is going to help in this situation. If ur spouse is badmouthing about ur family to ur Children they will keep doing it untill u talk straight to them. Abusing and belittling someone's family members behind them is no joke. It creates unnecessary hatered in family which leads to breakups
Happily unmarried now and will use all of the knowledge and wisdom from this intelligent guy's videos once am married😝🤪😂🤣 and shorts just love you Amit sir you rock!!! And will also save my sister from her in-law's stupid biased behaviours!! In love with your wisdom😁😁💖💖
you are absolutely right sir..i am experiencing same thing in my sasural there is no connection of my husband with their fatherside relatives just becoz of my mother in law she just want all the attention to their maayka side
Correct bola sir.. Am also trying to make cordial relationship with relatives...esp on husband side. It gives kids better way to handle people n akward relationships
Best he ke ladki k parents ladki ko dowry ki jagah education and ghar lene me help kare. Sasural achha he toh sone pe suhaga. Agar achha nahi toh sasural wale ladki ko pareshan nahi kar sakte hai.
I don't agree my maternal side doesn't do anything when my mother was pregnant first time My father side first quarreled with my mother but later they came for help Even my chachaji come when we were 6 yr old he used to teach us But still my mother didn't value chacha and always say good about mamaji.. I have functional relation with both side but prefer to be on father side more my maternal relatives are futile on most ocasion.
Very true my husband and his sister doesn't have any good relationship with the relatives of their father family and even from their own father also credit goes to my late sasu maaji
I come 4rm a family of 2 parents. My paternal granparents' family fucked my parents over. My maternal granparents' side famly ALSO fucked us over. But my dad never stood up for my mom. NEVER. My mom always stood up for my dad. My mom has suffered SEVERE abuse that is hard to even comment here. But she can't leave because she was never given the opportunity to study to get employment. All the abuse has led her to become heart patient, irritational and moody. She just works in the kitchen and then cries all day. Her life is basically destroyed. My bua wanted to break her side of the family and she succeeded. My mom wanted to re-unite the family but she couldnt.
My father would say, sab ka ek paap ka pitara hota hai! kisi kisika time se pehle bharta hai! karma is energy, good or bad...wapas milega..and yehi lifetime main milega.
Best solution is that the couple should buy their own property and not covet the in laws property. That's whay we did and in the long term we have Ok relationship with husband's side of family
@@ashitmukherjee5934 nuclear family is much better. Immediate in laws are ok but uncle aunty nephews living all the time together is too much headache. Men will have excuses for "office ka kaam hain" if they are tired it is women who are burdened. Socialising also takes your energy and exhausts you which women know.
@@antarabasak1055 That is why families are getting nuclear and for that materialistic mindset of women is very much responsible.Immedialy it looks comfortable but it has a long term ramifications.It creates loneliness.Kids lack love and affection of relationship of joint family.Their overall personality development is not complete.In marriage or other social functions we get least cooperation from relatives and last but not the least we feel getting our relatives nearer in our old age for solace and mental peace.Hare Krishna.
@@ashitmukherjee5934 we shifted from joint to nuclear. And felt it was much better for mental peace. No jhanjhat of cooking of all if you as family have decided to eat outside. It gives solace. Can decide as per your wife children wishes not bother "bhai behen kya sochenge".
My mother used to praise a lot about her own relatives but i have observed since my childhood none of my mother's side relatives gifted me anything whereas i have received love, care and gifts 🎁 from my father's side relatives so now all that i do with my mom's relatives is - hello hi tata bye bye 🙂
Once u realise parents will divide the property equally among daughters and sons, we would better walk out if possible and build our own empire at an early age instead of wasting our time and energy. We did so and r very happy now. Also relationship with my in laws also survived.
I wonder how my datherin law made a share of mu sisterin law in ancestral property ,but not for his sisters wjo are still alive ,five years we stayed together but buajis never visited once ,when I invited them on first bday of my daughter ,my saas questioned me with what right I invited them .
Reality digest karana sabake bas ki baat nahin. Auraton ko galiya dena sabako easily digest hota hai...auratose galiya khana digest nahin hota..past decades main jo boya hai..wahi aaj paoge! Sharm aati aisse desh me paida hone ki. Shame on such society! Ab unaki galiyan khane main kaisi shram? Jo unhe diya hai ab future generation se sut samet vapis milega..yahi nisarg ka niyam hai
Sir bring a video on '' Rishthe nibhana in modern days'' i.e b'day status rakhna , whatsapp invitations, kab call kare kab msg karein logic behind old people daily good morning messages etc etc
In laws are toxic .. ye toxicity jhelne se acha aram se alag rehna better he sir. Stress dete he tane mrte he. Stress se hajaro diseases hote he agr chal k usk bate me kya.. adhi se bahuo ko depressiom anxiety hojata he..vo sari umar apna gussa nikalti he apne pura parivar ka mahol ganda krti he.. us ka kay?
@@ssunita9253 me khud apne ghar me dekh chuki hu.. to agar apko koi benefits chaiye sasural end se..to khud ko dil marke inko ijjat do..Taki.khud jinda lash ban jae.? Ye kaha ki niti he? Jab sasural vale ache se treat krenge to bahu b value degi..jab sasural vale dhang se treat nahi krenge to ku kre koi ijjat unko?
@@Yespk-bo2xe I hv left them already.. I myself have earned more than what they have earned all their life. Bat property k nahi he bat self respect k hoti he.
I can see lot of emotional comments here. Everybody is kind of missing the point this gentlemen is trying to make here. That's exactly the reason for which he made this video. To show ppl the practical side. He is not talking about cases where daughter in law is mistreated or neglected or not liked by their in laws. Those cases are different and may need another video. In this video he is talking about cases where daughter in laws are careless negligent amd disrespectful towards in laws.Such scenarios also happen in society and there is a big price to pay later.
बहु कितनी भी ससससुर की सेवा करे कोई भी साससासुर अपनी प्रॉपर्टी का एक भी कोड़ी जी ते जी बहु को नहीं देते। जब की उसको करेंट लाइफ में जरूरत होती है।वो तो उसे प्रॉपर्टी की आसपास भी भटकने नहीं देते।सब बेटे और बेटी के नाम किया होता है।ऐसे लोगो की किस बात कि जिम्मेदारी बनती है बहु।की सिर्फ बेटे की पत्नी बताकर अपनी सेवा चाइए होती है उनको। इमोशनल वो क्या सपोर्ट देते है बहु को as a individual।issase Kai Jada support to seva sansthan or friends dete hai। यही असली कारण की औरते इन लॉस रिशतो का प्यार महसूस ही नहीं करती क्युकी वो असल में exist hi नहीं करता।कभी वो समझती है औरत को maid समझने से jada kuchh nhi karte।aise logo ki kyu जिम्मेदारी ले औरते???? सिर्फ खैरात में रिश्ते a gae islie kya???????kaun Dil se rishte nibhate hai? Pears me Kam se Kam औरत को प्यार तो भी मिलता ।ये रियलिटी इस सेलफिश सोसाइटी की। अंत में औरत को कोर्ट के पास जाकर पोटगी के लिए भीख मांगनी पड़ती है तब तक 15 ,20 साल सासुराल वलो ने उसके जिंदगी केकिमती साल लूट लिर होते हैं. Islie India me or bhi sakht kanun ki जरूर त अभी भी हैं.....
It’s the unfair treatment… hr koi aurat apne naye ghar mein sabse pyar hi krti hai, jab usko jarurat hoti hai sabse jyada pregnancy ke time par, tb hi sabse jyada unfair treatment hota hai…. Ye ek aurat ka sabse bda waqt hota hai… jab usi samay aurat ko galat treat kre aur usse uski health mein impact pde to vo aurat us samay ko kbhi nhi bhool skti jindagi bhar… kaha kregi pyar fir vo in laws se????
Agree with you Sangwan Saab, but problem ye hai ki problem dono tarf se hi hoti hai, aur dono ko ek page per Lana is near to impossible. Aajkal jayad ijjat kerne waale ko selfish aur kuch hidden agenda samjh k log usse riston me duri Banna lete hain and things become worst over the time.
What about the families where bahus are only treated as servants..no emotional relationships...even they don't let the bahus to make such relationships...and in my family only my husband maintains the relations with my in laws since first day...bahus are fully bypassed... however i always gave 💯 to my inlaws ....but help to door ki baad pyaar ke do shabd bhi nahi.....what to do...
this is very golden advice .... relations ka extreme mein nahi rakhna chaiye.... itna b zyada khaas nahi bano at the same time itna b dushman mat bano... balance baby balance
Sir , sorry if this sounds offensive , but the reality is that the in-laws families do not think of u , as anything but an added expense to handle + even the male uncles and buas from the father's side all want to be a part of the father's success , minus the effort and often mistreat the wife and their children , in such a scenario , how can u show warmth towards them ?? And inspite of making efforts if they do not respond I think it's wasted effort after sometime , anyways sir yr talk is welcome wz good intentions .....
It is not that easily done. everyone knows what profit they bring to others in any relationship and thanks to the Saas bahu serials, they start showing upper hand to others who they think are at loss if the relationship is cut off by them. The person who always have to take lower side, keep quiet, feels bullied, revolts inspite of the kaddu for the kids. After all, kids also belong to husband who mostly try to stay buddies with his folks and the blame is conveniently given to the wife.
Bilkul correct Fight se kuch solve nahi hota .. Opcharikta banaye rakhna chahiye ! Jat society ..No Old man will give property to the daughter Land ..old man does not want to divide ...So before old Jat dies he makes a will ...
I think even male members are to blamed, having being controlled by being so much in control of their wives and mothers. Fantastic video. So much pain for younger generations.
I really enjoy opening up my mindset and I can say this is 100% right guru gi Seen this personally in my house and even outside. I am from upper middle class family. Reading comment may really seems to you that ohh no! our family is really good not that bad but guess what? all Indian family are perfect on surface. My family is also really grate really enjoy all the love and relations but I am wise enough to understand the deep rooted problems that definitely merge up after 10, 20 years above
Aur tab kya jab in- laws bahu ke parents ko mis -treat karte hain ? Aur uske parents ke waha jana tak allowed nhi karte? Aur agar bache ko le jaye apne parents ke waha toh , bacha jo bhi galati karega uske liye kahenga bahu ke mayake se sikh ke aaya hain?
What you said is correct .....but there are many instances when boys parent itself act toxic and make brothers fight ( fivide and rule strategy) in which case the family gets disintegrated even if the boy's wife wants to maintain relationship with the family of he in-laws.
Mere case me mere sasur ne life me kuch kamaya nahi hai, puri life sharab me waste kardi. Saas sasur dono ne baccho ki parvarish pe jyada dhyan nahi diya. Unke bada beta, dusra beta (mera pati) aur tisri beti govn school me padhe. Unke khane pine ke lale the. Bada beta 20k naukri karta hai toh usse toh koi ummid hi nahi hai. Mera pati by chance bcs karke IT mein achhi job karta hai toh behen ki shaadi, maa baap ko sambhalna aur bade bhai ko business kholke dena (joki usne duba diya) sab responsibility mere pati ki hai. Bade bhai ki biwi maa baap ko ghar par pair nahi rakhne deti aur jo jayaz hai kyunki meri saas kalesh karne mein aur pati patni ke bich zagda lagane me expert hai taki ghar aur bete ke paiso ka control uske hath me rahe. Woh khane ki cheeze tak chhupa ke rakhti hai taki mehengi cheeze bahue na khaye. Woh aisi maa hai ki apne bachho me bhi bhed bhav karti hai. Jo kamayga use achha khana milega. Aur sabse achha khana mujhe milega. Maine aaj tak aisa suna aur dekha tha ki maa khane pine ke mamle me apne baccho me kabhi bhed bhav nhi karti aur khud adhe pet rehti hai par baccho ka pet bharti hai, Meri saas jaisi maa pehli baar dekhi hai jo khane ke picche itni pagal hai ki bhuk me apne bachcho ko bhi kha jaye. So back to the topic ki sasural walo se relation maintain karke kuch milne wala toh hai nahi ulta paise jaenge. Mere bachche mere parents se close rahe toh better hai. Aur aaj tak maine mostly dekha hai ki bhai bhai ek dusre ko dhoka jyada dete hai compared to bhai behen. Mama maa ko dhoka nahi dega par chacha ya taya baap ko dhoka mostly deta hi hai. Aur mere pati kehta hai tere baap ne shaadi me bohot kam kharcha kiya isilye teri value kam rahegi hamare ghar me unless tu bohot kaam kare aur kamaye bhi. Mere parents aur bhai behen bhatija aur bachcha mere liye tujhse jyada imp hai kyunki blood relations pati patni ke relation se bade hote hai. Mere usse ye kehna hai ki mere maa baap tujhpe kharcha karte agar tere pas job ke alawa kuch property hoti. Tere khudke maa baap ne tujhe kuch nahi diya, nahi tera khud ka ghar hai toh tujh jaise ko woh dehej kyu denge. Kal teri job chali gayi toh tu toh kahi ka nahi rahega aur tere so called blood relations pehle bhag jaenge.
Aap ki bhi baat sahi hai sasural walo se bana kar rakhna chhy..mei ne aise kai ghar dekhe jha bana kar rakhna tu kuch nahi bahuo ne apne aap ko tyaag diya magar na tareef mili na ahsaas hua na property mili kuch nahi 😢
Mere pati ka kehna hai ki pati patni ka rishta sabseb nicha hota hai (in case, even if both r good n loyal to each other, not cheating wives). Pati ki priority pehle uske maa baap, bhai behen, bhanje, bhatije aur apne bachche hote hai aur phir patni aati hai. Feudal bollywood films me maine aisa dekha hai par reality me maine apne aas paas pati patni ka rishta sabse uncha dekha hai. Bure waqt me maa baap se leke bhai behen aur bachcho tak ek admi ka sab sath chhod dete hai par patni har baar sath deti hai. Atleast, maine toh aise hi examples dekhe hai. Aaj kal ke ladke maa baap aur blood relations ki toh bohot izzat karte hai par apni biwi pe cheat karte hai. Bahar muh marte hai. Aur biwi se expect karte hai ki woh apne parents ko secondary rakhe, unse paisa nikalwaye aur uske maa baap ki seva kare, adjustments aur sacrifices kare, ghar ka kaam bhi kare aur paise bhi kamaye. Aaj se har male bhagwan ki tisvir aur unka naam unke maa maa baap sath hona chahiye, patni ke sath nahi. Aare har pooja me pati patni sath baithte hai, maa baap nahi. Value your wives. Par aaj kal kuch aurte bhi whores ban gayi hai, woh bhi ghar ke bahar job karne ke bahane muh marti hai. Bohot gandi ho gayi hai aaj kal ki society. 90s ke couples best the. Ek toh nuclear families hoti thi. Dusra unke parents financially ladke pe dependent nahi hote the kyunki unki pension aati thi. Tirsa biwi ghar sambhalti thi aur pati paise kamate the. Ek dusre pe cheat karna almost nahi ke barabar tha kyunki biwiya ghar me rehti thi. 90s couples lived the best life. Par unke bachche bakwas ho gaye hai, ladke aur ladkiya dono.
Being a woman and after going through hell of a turmoil by both father n mother Parent side . I can finally say that it is the women who Is a worse enemy Of other women not men. She is the one who starts all the kalesh firstly Directly or indirectly n keeps on streaching it generation after generation with other women and men of the family are manipulated n brainwashed into believing that whatever she is doing is right!
Sir, ek bahu ka sasural uska ghar kabhi nhn ban sakta. Uska sasural Uska ghar, saas ke uppr jaane ke baad Banta hai. Pehle bahu ko apna bnaao fir unse umeed rakho
Please also make a video for father's side of family, to behave properly with bahu of the family and not treat them like a slave/non-person. I generally agree with the content you post here, but this video is not only biased, but the advises are most absurd and indeed sexist. Jab father's side mein hi shuru se accha mahaul nahi rehta , then how do you expect the mother to not retaliate ??? Most families treat their daughter-in-laws like shit, and then later expect them to be kind and caring ?? Ye kaha ka nyay hai. You yourself say - ki aisa nahi hai ki daughter-in-laws ke liye buri conditions nahi exist karti ; but agar baad mein chutiye relatives bolte hai ki Supreme Court se le aa hak, toh thike they will use their rights and bring in the lawyers. I don't see any issue. And vo chacha/tau kaun hote hai bolne wale ? Decision toh Father-in-law/Mother-in-Law ko lena hai na apni property ka ? Dads toh unke hi bacche hai na , rishte toh papa log banake rakh hi rahe hai na? Isme mahila/daughter-in-law kaha se aagayi ? If the men's family side hadn't been bad to daughter-in-law , toh rishte toh first place mein bigadte nahi na ? Mahila nahi bigad rahi , chutiye rishtedar bigad rahe. Jab dadi/dada pyar karne layak hi nahi hai, and only care's for her son(father); it's not the daughter-in-law's fault na ? Nor her kids ? Only dadi's son should care about her, it's unfair to the victims. Simple funda, men care about their parents and affairs related to them and women should do the same for her own parents. No one should be responsible, nor suffer mental anguish because of the other side. Besides, you totally forget that man himself will be interested in his share too, his parent's. Don't worry people today are very strong, court jana padega toh jayenge - faltu ka anyay nahi sahenge. And please don't resort to absurd fear mongering - ki baccho ki shadi nahi hogi falana dhimkana. Aisi soch wale logo ke karan hi, abhi tak 'India aisa hai'. When you get over such stupid thoughts, you are free of samaj ka faltu pressure. Most Indian daughter-in-laws suffer from mental issues because of this same men's side family. Men are capable of taking care of and dealing with their parents too. It's not the women's job.
My sister-in-law is doing same right now. She came back from her Sasural and bring her husband to piyar. She made him work in her father's business. She made him contribution in her father's business and help his brother's business. Now, my sasaural wale is trying to convince my brother-in-law to sell his ancestral property and get money and invest somewhere as per her choice. All these things are impacting my wife thoughts and making rift between me and my wife. How can I keep my married life safe? and how can I keep my wife safe.
No one will love outsider . Everyone will love their own blood. Today generation gap is huge than ever between any 2 generations. That's the main cause. Older generation thinks they are giving too much freedom cause they didn't had any. Present generation women grew up with equal rights like men. Suddenly they can't let it go. Neither it's fair. Some young men understand this . Some young men don't understand it. Also humans comes in all flavours. Neither all DIL ,MIL ,SON ,FIL are good or all bad. Today pre- marriage counseling is extremely required but people don't understand the need and shy from it. That's the root cause of problem. Problem in our society - Historically our society which went through turbulent times and Abrahamic influence became backward thinking. Now we have peace and progress . So new generation wants to live life accordingly. Old generation don't understand Bhartiya civilization. But they keep lecturing about traditions and society. That is big problem. People complaining and generalising society is not good. Many cases where in laws were good but over time fallout happened. Many times DIL took things without speaking against it. Also others (extended relatives) needs to stay out of someone's family issues.
@@krutikah1468 ladke k saas sasur usko isliye nahi jala sakte kyunki wo unke saath nahi rehta. Dusra ek working ladke se homely responsibly expected nhi na hi working ladki se expected hai.
@@krutikah1468 ladki k maa baap ka role hota h usko guide karna k paternal relations kaise maintain karna hai Ya fir ladki ko dedo apni property ka half hissa. Chalo half rehne do 30% hi dedo.
When my mother or us children were sick in my father's side home, his relatives ignored us and my mother's side relatives travelled from other city and took care of us and our treatment. Whenever my mother was pregnant, no one from father's side helped her and she was sent to mayka till babies were borne and raised upto 4-5 months age. How was it my mother's fault that we became more attached to her side of relatives, not father's side?
Yes sir iska answer chahiye unbaised
Yes father side don't want to take responsibility of expenses and other involvement if 2 3 uncle separated they concentrated only for themselves than 1 who is weak in finance, education, inteligent etc all this matter s.
Ye exactly ...I saw my chachi who was alone when she was pregnant dadi said maine akele kia tha maine ye kia tha vo kia tum log nai kar sakte bade najuk ho...gyan gyan n gyan...sabke hote chachi ko akele dono daughter ko palte dekha ...dadi was forching to have 3rd kid kuki ladka nai hai na....chachi refused ....bachhe nani side se jude kuki unki maa ki help kqrte sirf nana ,nani aur mama ko dekha ....obvious hai na....hoga hi...aab aye mere bari mere 2 babies hi under 5 2nd one is just turned 2 last 6.5 years were toughest for me ...i asked help just to keep eye on kids when i am in kitchen or taking bath ....sas refused...i broke my leg twice ...still i made food , bachhe ko school bhejna homework karana ...little one ko dekhna ...husband here and there help karte jab ghar hote....but saas sasur kept their eyes and ear shut...i went to my mother for 7 months 1st time after the age of 18 i was with my parents for this long....yaha kisi ne parwah nai kia ...na mere ..chalo mere to mai umeed nai karti...kids ki bhi...mere dada dadi to hame kuch ho jaye sote nai the...ye to aram se sote rote bachhe ki awaj tak nai ati....last 3 days se chhota baby 2 year ka mera 102-103 fever me hai...kisi ne sar pe hath tak nai rakha ....nana nani mama bechain ki kaisa hai kaisa hai...kaise jid jaye aise in laws n aise dada dadi se ...mai eo joint family me pali hu...mujhe lagta tha life aise hoti...sasural aake pata chala ki life aise nai jitna pyar dada dadi hamse karte the...har dada dadi nai karte....uper jo chachi ki baat boli vo mere papa ki cousin ki wife hai...mere dada dadi bahot achhe the aur mere maa ko apna bachha samjhte the...air ye mai itne purane jamane ki baat kah rai....mere mother ko mental disorder hai schizophrenia....itna pyar jitna unke parents ne nai kia ...jhad fuk karwate rahe .....jabki dada n papa ne unko doc ko dikhaya n she is on medication since then n leading a happy life....pyar karna papa se sikha ...dada se sikha ...yaha pyar karu ki kya samajh hi nai ata
Same here , my father's side relatives are just trouble creators , n my mom side relatives are problem solver .
Most dads are 💩. That’s final conclusion.
Mothers generally make her sides relatives look better than fathers side. But growing up i realised my both side relatives were toxic..😢
😂
💯 true
😂😂😂😂😂
A married woman should definitely be with her own family if she doesn't get the required support from her in-laws despite she trying her best to build good relation with them. In my case I was emotionally tortured by by mother in law, father in law, brother in law and married sister in law who had her constant intervention in my matters. If a woman cannot go to maika, her sister in law also shouldn't come to her maika. The rule should apply for all.
It would be great if you could think from the perspective of a lady who is new to a house and is considered as an outsider and doesn't get the love and respect.
Please Note: Husband's role is very important in supporting his wife and being there for her.
To all the women: Please beware of Mamma's boy!!!
You are 100 % right. Most of the in laws are good people to the world but toxic to daughter in laws. They are over critical and create a lot of stress. No woman distances herself intentionally from her in laws.
Completely on the dot. Very true.
There is no mamaboy , men are selfish ,they dance to tune of mother in their interest otherwise yhey woul themselves cared for their mothers ,oksy , a woman doesnit look after her on laws ,man should his parents but we teach our sons to be served in hand n marry yhem to fet a permanent servant in their service ,who will look after household ,earn , bear tantrums of their son n themselves as sacred duty so either couple divirced or parents go in old age home when the interfering daughter refuses to take responsibility.
Women want the best of both worlds, they want someone financially stable but also want to be the boss girl and run the show at home. You will only get a mamas boy, no strong man wants to deal with boss girls
Taali ek haath se nahi bajti
A very hard hitting point, no one is talking about. Hats off to you Amit ji! These are the reasons I have been following you since a long time now.
Me too
@@payalgupta4953 8ko
Being a modern and educated lady and giving my best to relations on both sides, I have realised that women are treated unfairly on both sides. When she goes to in- laws side, she is always valued and treated less than her husbands, and when she goes to mother's side, she is always valued less than her brother. She is born and lives in her family for atleast 20-25 years and suddenly is made to leave the house in the facade of marriage. Then she goes to in-laws family thinking that thats her house and family but gradually is made to realise that she will always be an treated as outsiders. Hence , a female should understand that she has to be too tough to digest this bitter fact that she is on her own and she will always be treated as a second citizen in a country like india and she needs to be financially independent to be really happy and stop expecting too much from both sides even from husband. Search for a purpose in your life and attaining it will give you peace and self-satisfaction. You have to live with this bitter truth forever.
So true and nice advice for all women. Society is changing but slowly. Ultimately time will come when western norms will prevail and parents stop over expectations and stop over protection of children as well.
Very true!
Such a bitter truth of life for women in India
Sach kha apne 😊😊
Absolutely true
Biggest loss is to the kids who miss on to relationships, love and affection they deserve. Passing on own trauma and negative emotions to next generation should be avoided.
Basically such children shouldn't marry
Right but it happens.Sometimes can not be avoided.
@@krutikah1468 for sure. If that has happened , it has to be stopped somewhere. Bahu is again victim of MIL’s traumatic life, hence onus lies on each one of us to stop it and break the chain.
Yes i agree
But if mom keeps contact she will be a troubled mom….that’s even worse than cutting ties with grandparents….better to miss out toxic relatives
No mayka and no sasural no one comes for ur rescue .all relationships r directly related to money
So underrated comment
Yes
Toxic relationships se deal karne se better hai wo dimag and energy apne career build karne mein lagaye make your own empire and secure the future of ur kids
But where from you will get your blood relationships.
@@krutikah1468 Nahi normally aisa nahi hota hain.Shadi ke baad shashuraal hi ladki ka ghar hota hai.
@@krutikah1468eh gud family or bad family ka difference hota hai. But atlast new generation ki siblings ki relation kharab krna is biggest crime . Jha family kaam ati hai wha career dharae reh jatae hai. West mai career hai logo k pass but 4 5 step father or 3 4 step mothers ko jhelna bhi padta hai. It is adviced to not break families to make career. Bacha bolta hua acha ni lagega ki yeh mera 4 th father ya mother hai. Or uskae brain pai jo effect padega vo alag. Aaj family break hogi alga number divorce ka ata hai phir. Family hi divorces sae bacha sakti hai.
Maam this video is not about toxic in laws this video is about toxic daughter in laws. Both scenarios happen in our society.
@@ssunita9253 taali dono haath bajti hai if the relation doesn’t work out between the daughter in law and the in laws property ke lalach mein relation kyun rakhna ….. any relations based on greed will not be good for anyone according to me wo hamein paise aur property mein hissa de isliye hum dua salaam kare this is the message of this video and I think koi bhi itna bewakoof hai nahi ki wo samajh na sake ki ye hamein matlab se poochh rahi hai
His older advice (to boys) about preparing to be independent after marriage seems more preferable to me. Newly married girl should not be left alone to fight for herself against toxic in laws. The husband should also play a part in smoothing out the relationship. Although it is traditional for a girl to leave her home and join a new one after marriage, it still seems unnatural to me (ie. psychologically for the girl to accept a group of strangers as replacement of those she grew up with). That's why involvement of the husband in bettering relationships at home is a must.
Supreme Court se hi Le aa. It is damn true 😂😂😂😂
Even the in-laws should put efforts to help the Dil integrate into the family and not treat her like an outsider and give priority to their daughters.relationships work both ways .Also a daughter who keeps good relationship eith her parents place and helps them out in her own capacity will always be welcome irrespective of circumstances
Dear maam please don't be under this misconception. Trust me I am a counsellor. Reality is something else. Definitely not ideal. Daughter is welcome into the familybtill parents are alive. After that no one bothers.
@@VEE727 It is also very natural to not love someone who is not your parents. Please have some realistic expectation.
Being a girl what I feel is that most of the boys themselves are not very attached to their families. I have seen boys who speaks for only 2 minutes with his parents and to his siblings only during family function - no rituals of phone calls to close relatives if they are studying or working away from home. How are the girls supposed to change it? I have seen many girls who keep good relations with their relatives even if they are studying and working away from home. But many boys only talk with their friends with no regular family connection even before marriage. How is the girl supposed to change it after marriage? So, she keeps continuing doing the same after marriage and the boys themselves can not do it because they have never done it earlier. Of course, if the boy was keeping good relations earlier, it would be wrong for the girl if she tries to change it.
Note: would really like to know what should be the girls role in such situation? These situations are not uncommon too, atleast in my vicinity.
You don't understand boys... Yes whatever you said is true but boys are built in like that we cannot express so much but deep down we care for our parents in case of Hospitals emergency we come without thinking anything while in call we generally talk about parents health and end our call... We may not talk with our cousins but whenever we meet we have the best time but i have seen in between female cousins if they had fight they will not talk with each other even in family functions same is not same for boys.... Even for friends, we may not meet or talk with a very close friend for a year bcoz we live elsewhere but whenever we meet we enjoy like brothers same for old schools friend if we somehow meet randomly we talk like brothers... But we don't talk with friends for over an hour in a call..... Same is not for among girls... I have seen among female friends they talk hours with each other but crib among each other behind back small fight they will never talk.... Even other female friends will not initiate to stop that fight... Same is not for boys we may fight but we are brothers very next moment with a simple Bokach**a word... boys are different
It is better if she can bind the relations.
Not entirely true and not in most cases
Yes, the in laws then say shaadi ke bad badal Gaya hai
@@shreyanghosh758 you are absolutely right .
In indian society, women are not treated fairly. After marriage it becomes wife's duty to maintain relationships.. in laws from husband side are always biased towards thier son and expect wife to adjust in all the scenarios. Now a days when women are working outside home as much as men, it is very unfair.
😂stop crying
Sir aapke insights are wisom loaded. Now young generation ke pass koi marg darshan k liye hai hi nahi. Aapke jaisa ghar ka member hona chahiaye
Hats off to you sir .jis topic par koi charcha nahi karta..aap us par clarity dete hain..
Ek video aise patio par bhi banaye jo patni ka mayka chhurwa dete hai...the other side of the story is also happening in society..
Most of cases pati aisa nahi karta. Kyonki jab tak uske khud k ghar main shanti hai usko farak nahi padata kyonki usko patani k pihar main nahi rahana. But patani ko uske sasural rahana hai. Jab uske ghar main ashanti hoti hai or uski maa kahati hai ki ye sab tumhari wife k pihar(mayaka) k vajah say ho raha hai to pati rare cases main aisa karta hai.
Most of cases jab bacche bade hona suru hote hai and wife k hath main pura ghar power aa jaati hai to khud hi mayake main jaana kam ho jaata hai. Kyonki mayake main bhi power ladki k maa baap k paas say nikal kar bhabi k hath main ja chuki hoti hai
That's true...I am dealing with same issue my husband and mil including sil made to stay away from my mum.first mil said this to my husband and eventually it turns on me
Not always manipulated, if the chemistry is not there, it is not there. No one can help! If a common ground is not there constantly, ppl also do evolve in different directions ..could be members of boys' or girls' family. Cannot put the blame entirely on the girl and her family always, either side could be the culprit.
The root cause of why women are so vulnerable and dependent on the good-will of their "peehar" and "sasural", is that the vast majority of Indian women are not financially independent. The blame lies squarely on the parents of daughters who don't invest in the education of their female children and treat them as a burden, both financial and social.
Mother in laws consider it their birth right to claim the earnings of their daughter in law. The working daughter in law is expected to contribute all the money to her sasural for proving her loyalty. Then also she is verbally abused.
The only advantage working women have is that they can file for divorce and live independently
Realistic practical analysis. Maharashtra also has similar story not same though still.
I am a Bua who loves all her nieces and nephews. I spend time with them , o play with them i take them out to different places for their entertainment, buy them fancy stuff , and take them to different places, help them in studies and try to be their friend. My mom dad love their grandchildren too. But all we get to hear from their mothers (the bhabhis) is that their side of the family is way better and loving . Though , they never spent a single penny on the kid’s education , Or on providing a good lifestyle to the children. My parents spoil them with so much affection and pampering too. Yet efforts from our side of the family are never appreciated they are always shown as Null. And efforts from the mothers side of the family is overly exaggerated in front of children and the relatives. Yet children are brainwashed to love their Nani’s house more (Which isn’t bad I believe) But why would some women brainwash their children to hate on the father’s side of the family?! Why would they show Bua’s and dadis as villains. Like what have we done!!!?? not all Bua’s , chachas and dada dadis are bad! I hope , some day the children grow up to the see the reality themselves. 🙃
You and your family are good,but ground reality is very different in maximum houses in India, daughter's in law are the most neglected person in the family, especially when that girl belongs to middle or poor background
See it depends on person to person. Not all sasuma are villans and not all Bahu are abla.its totally depends on person's characters. My mother was I'll treated by her mother in law husband n sisters in law. She and I were mentally n Physically abused..she left the house and went to Nana Nani there she was beaten n insulted by Bhabhi n Brother. Even my Nana Nani got beaten. It was an ugly situation. So this proves not All sasuma is good n not all bahu r good
This is the case where the husband should step up. Most of the time living separately from elder parents solves the issues.
@@anjal3753 I don't think living separately from elders is going to help in this situation. If ur spouse is badmouthing about ur family to ur Children they will keep doing it untill u talk straight to them. Abusing and belittling someone's family members behind them is no joke. It creates unnecessary hatered in family which leads to breakups
Happily unmarried now and will use all of the knowledge and wisdom from this intelligent guy's videos once am married😝🤪😂🤣 and shorts just love you Amit sir you rock!!! And will also save my sister from her in-law's stupid biased behaviours!! In love with your wisdom😁😁💖💖
Lucky u . We are getting social media exposure so late in life
@@rashmimanchanda6603 I get it Rashmi ji but don't worry it's never too late to live your life with peace and power! More power to you 💗 always..
Ture getting very fruitful knowledge.
you are absolutely right sir..i am experiencing same thing in my sasural there is no connection of my husband with their fatherside relatives just becoz of my mother in law she just want all the attention to their maayka side
Correct bola sir.. Am also trying to make cordial relationship with relatives...esp on husband side. It gives kids better way to handle people n akward relationships
You will realise the value of this when your kids grow up. Well done 👍
Best he ke ladki k parents ladki ko dowry ki jagah education and ghar lene me help kare. Sasural achha he toh sone pe suhaga. Agar achha nahi toh sasural wale ladki ko pareshan nahi kar sakte hai.
Good earning boys don't like earning wives in most cases.
Mother side people take care when she is unwell..or needs emotional support..most in laws don’t take care of daughter in law when she is unwell..
I don't agree my maternal side doesn't do anything when my mother was pregnant first time
My father side first quarreled with my mother but later they came for help
Even my chachaji come when we were 6 yr old he used to teach us
But still my mother didn't value chacha and always say good about mamaji..
I have functional relation with both side but prefer to be on father side more my maternal relatives are futile on most ocasion.
@@satyamprasad4617
Don’t apply knowledge of 2 out of 10 incidents with 6 out of 10 incidents.
Very true my husband and his sister doesn't have any good relationship with the relatives of their father family and even from their own father also credit goes to my late sasu maaji
Thank you for bring out this topic
These issues does exist & often causes lots of pain which could have been avoided
I come 4rm a family of 2 parents.
My paternal granparents' family fucked my parents over.
My maternal granparents' side famly ALSO fucked us over.
But my dad never stood up for my mom. NEVER.
My mom always stood up for my dad.
My mom has suffered SEVERE abuse that is hard to even comment here.
But she can't leave because she was never given the opportunity to study to get employment.
All the abuse has led her to become heart patient, irritational and moody.
She just works in the kitchen and then cries all day.
Her life is basically destroyed.
My bua wanted to break her side of the family and she succeeded. My mom wanted to re-unite the family but she couldnt.
My father would say, sab ka ek paap ka pitara hota hai! kisi kisika time se pehle bharta hai! karma is energy, good or bad...wapas milega..and yehi lifetime main milega.
Best solution is that the couple should buy their own property and not covet the in laws property. That's whay we did and in the long term we have Ok relationship with husband's side of family
And relationships?
@@ashitmukherjee5934 nuclear family is much better. Immediate in laws are ok but uncle aunty nephews living all the time together is too much headache. Men will have excuses for "office ka kaam hain" if they are tired it is women who are burdened. Socialising also takes your energy and exhausts you which women know.
@@antarabasak1055 That is why families are getting nuclear and for that materialistic mindset of women is very much responsible.Immedialy it looks comfortable but it has a long term ramifications.It creates loneliness.Kids lack love and affection of relationship of joint family.Their overall personality development is not complete.In marriage or other social functions we get least cooperation from relatives and last but not the least we feel getting our relatives nearer in our old age for solace and mental peace.Hare Krishna.
@@ashitmukherjee5934 kids after few years will run after friends. Will not listen to their parents even. Siblings toh leave 🤣🤣🤣
@@ashitmukherjee5934 we shifted from joint to nuclear. And felt it was much better for mental peace. No jhanjhat of cooking of all if you as family have decided to eat outside. It gives solace. Can decide as per your wife children wishes not bother "bhai behen kya sochenge".
Amit ji….always….HITS THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.
100% correct analysis!
please bring more family politics videos.
Thanks a lot sir, this is a very serious issue that nobody is talking about. Hatsoff to you for your efforts to sensitize our society.
My mother used to praise a lot about her own relatives but i have observed since my childhood none of my mother's side relatives gifted me anything whereas i have received love, care and gifts 🎁 from my father's side relatives so now all that i do with my mom's relatives is - hello hi tata bye bye 🙂
Once u realise parents will divide the property equally among daughters and sons, we would better walk out if possible and build our own empire at an early age instead of wasting our time and energy. We did so and r very happy now. Also relationship with my in laws also survived.
I wonder how my datherin law made a share of mu sisterin law in ancestral property ,but not for his sisters wjo are still alive ,five years we stayed together but buajis never visited once ,when I invited them on first bday of my daughter ,my saas questioned me with what right I invited them .
Jab sasural Wale phone nahi karte àur kabhi haal chal nahi puchte toh hum kaise rishta bana ke rakhe.
@Nishant Soni koi kisi ke upar dependent nahi hai
Tumhari mummy phone ni krengi na fir bhi tum unhe krogi. but sasural ki baat i toh ATTITUDE EGO agya.
@@IamSpidey007 hum ne toh bahut seva Kari but unko koi pyar nahi.
Agar sasuraal waale galat hain to wo bahut badi problem hai. But ye video Galt bahuo ke baare hai. Wo ek slag samasya hai.
100% true. Personally experienced it......
However expectations are very much there
Absolutely right. Real eye opener.
You are truly right sir आजकलसाराध्यानमायके कीओरहै भाईजोहैंवोबहनको पूछतेनहीं सबकसूर माँबापकाहै अपनेबचोंकी परवरिशठीकसेनहीं करते
Is vedio me sab bahuo ke comments gayab ho chuke h 😂
Haha true. Sabne family tudwai hai ab royengi bs comment ni kr skti
a
Mostly bahu ekta kappoor wali hai aajkal. Ekta kapoor ki khud ki life bhi barbad hai oro ki bhi usi nae kri thi.
Reality digest karana sabake bas ki baat nahin. Auraton ko galiya dena sabako easily digest hota hai...auratose galiya khana digest nahin hota..past decades main jo boya hai..wahi aaj paoge! Sharm aati aisse desh me paida hone ki. Shame on such society! Ab unaki galiyan khane main kaisi shram? Jo unhe diya hai ab future generation se sut samet vapis milega..yahi nisarg ka niyam hai
True…
Sir bring a video on
'' Rishthe nibhana in modern days''
i.e b'day status rakhna , whatsapp invitations, kab call kare kab msg karein
logic behind old people daily good morning messages etc etc
In laws are toxic .. ye toxicity jhelne se acha aram se alag rehna better he sir. Stress dete he tane mrte he. Stress se hajaro diseases hote he agr chal k usk bate me kya.. adhi se bahuo ko depressiom anxiety hojata he..vo sari umar apna gussa nikalti he apne pura parivar ka mahol ganda krti he.. us ka kay?
Madam ye alag issue discuss kar rahe hain Aap maane na maane exact ulte cases bhi hote hain
@@Akash-ok7su yahi to baat hai ye haanji age bahut mehngi padti hai,apni life to gayi na
@@ssunita9253 me khud apne ghar me dekh chuki hu.. to agar apko koi benefits chaiye sasural end se..to khud ko dil marke inko ijjat do..Taki.khud jinda lash ban jae.? Ye kaha ki niti he? Jab sasural vale ache se treat krenge to bahu b value degi..jab sasural vale dhang se treat nahi krenge to ku kre koi ijjat unko?
@@Yespk-bo2xe I hv left them already.. I myself have earned more than what they have earned all their life. Bat property k nahi he bat self respect k hoti he.
@@FromProfessor husband is understanding nd supportive..
Factual discourse Sir.
Salute to you Sir.🎉
This is the All time Blockbuster Video .❤❤🎉🎉🎉
This is why childen today feel aloof from family unlike olden days.
Even in South India, this is happening more
Naa to meri mummy ne apni taraf jodaa na papa ne apni taraf, kyuki dono jaante the ache se ki dono side ke saanp hain 😂
😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😅
I can see lot of emotional comments here. Everybody is kind of missing the point this gentlemen is trying to make here. That's exactly the reason for which he made this video. To show ppl the practical side. He is not talking about cases where daughter in law is mistreated or neglected or not liked by their in laws. Those cases are different and may need another video. In this video he is talking about cases where daughter in laws are careless negligent amd disrespectful towards in laws.Such scenarios also happen in society and there is a big price to pay later.
love you. you are on point.
Thank you. Atleast someone got it.
Mainly mayake walon ne beda Garg kar rakha hai..beti ko jeene nahi dete
You got it right 👍
बहु कितनी भी ससससुर की सेवा करे कोई भी साससासुर अपनी प्रॉपर्टी का एक भी कोड़ी जी ते जी बहु को नहीं देते। जब की उसको करेंट लाइफ में जरूरत होती है।वो तो उसे प्रॉपर्टी की आसपास भी भटकने नहीं देते।सब बेटे और बेटी के नाम किया होता है।ऐसे लोगो की किस बात कि जिम्मेदारी बनती है बहु।की सिर्फ बेटे की पत्नी बताकर अपनी सेवा चाइए होती है उनको।
इमोशनल वो क्या सपोर्ट देते है बहु को as a individual।issase Kai Jada support to seva sansthan or friends dete hai।
यही असली कारण की औरते इन लॉस रिशतो का प्यार महसूस ही नहीं करती क्युकी वो असल में exist hi नहीं करता।कभी वो समझती है औरत को maid समझने से jada kuchh nhi karte।aise logo ki kyu जिम्मेदारी ले औरते????
सिर्फ खैरात में रिश्ते a gae islie kya???????kaun Dil se rishte nibhate hai?
Pears me Kam se Kam औरत को प्यार तो भी मिलता ।ये रियलिटी इस सेलफिश सोसाइटी की।
अंत में औरत को कोर्ट के पास जाकर पोटगी के लिए भीख मांगनी पड़ती है
तब तक 15 ,20 साल सासुराल वलो ने उसके जिंदगी केकिमती साल लूट लिर होते हैं.
Islie India me or bhi sakht kanun ki जरूर त अभी भी हैं.....
It’s the unfair treatment… hr koi aurat apne naye ghar mein sabse pyar hi krti hai, jab usko jarurat hoti hai sabse jyada pregnancy ke time par, tb hi sabse jyada unfair treatment hota hai…. Ye ek aurat ka sabse bda waqt hota hai… jab usi samay aurat ko galat treat kre aur usse uski health mein impact pde to vo aurat us samay ko kbhi nhi bhool skti jindagi bhar… kaha kregi pyar fir vo in laws se????
Very good effort that nobody else did , nice topic you choose instead of other youtubers
Sir, After listening and watching you, I called my in- laws.
एक दम सही बात है 👍
Agree with you Sangwan Saab, but problem ye hai ki problem dono tarf se hi hoti hai, aur dono ko ek page per Lana is near to impossible. Aajkal jayad ijjat kerne waale ko selfish aur kuch hidden agenda samjh k log usse riston me duri Banna lete hain and things become worst over the time.
Sangu ji, Bahut Dhanyawad apka aankhein kholne ke liye.
What about the families where bahus are only treated as servants..no emotional relationships...even they don't let the bahus to make such relationships...and in my family only my husband maintains the relations with my in laws since first day...bahus are fully bypassed... however i always gave 💯 to my inlaws ....but help to door ki baad pyaar ke do shabd bhi nahi.....what to do...
this is very golden advice ....
relations ka extreme mein nahi rakhna chaiye....
itna b zyada khaas nahi bano at the same time itna b dushman mat bano...
balance baby balance
Thank you very much sir ji.I totally identify with whatever you said.I myself is totally cut off from my family.
Najaayaa aulaad
@@mgupta3525 Kaun bey tum?
@@ashitmukherjee5934 tumhaara baa*p
@@mgupta3525 Tumhaari maa?*
Excellent talk . Very necessary to build relations.
Sir , sorry if this sounds offensive , but the reality is that the in-laws families do not think of u , as anything but an added expense to handle + even the male uncles and buas from the father's side all want to be a part of the father's success , minus the effort and often mistreat the wife and their children , in such a scenario , how can u show warmth towards them ?? And inspite of making efforts if they do not respond I think it's wasted effort after sometime , anyways sir yr talk is welcome wz good intentions .....
It is not that easily done. everyone knows what profit they bring to others in any relationship and thanks to the Saas bahu serials, they start showing upper hand to others who they think are at loss if the relationship is cut off by them. The person who always have to take lower side, keep quiet, feels bullied, revolts inspite of the kaddu for the kids. After all, kids also belong to husband who mostly try to stay buddies with his folks and the blame is conveniently given to the wife.
Bilkul correct
Fight se kuch solve nahi hota ..
Opcharikta banaye rakhna chahiye !
Jat society ..No Old man will give property to the daughter
Land ..old man does not want to divide ...So before old Jat dies he makes a will ...
Very well narrated sir. Its the hard truth. Being a family counselor I totally associate with this
Kash aapka video 20years pehle aaya hota.
"It's never too late."
Shaadi karni hi nahi chahiye, khup Sara Paisa kamao, aur khush raho saare phasad ki jadh hi khatam
Not possible bro
India me ultimate aim life ka shadi hi hai
I think even male members are to blamed, having being controlled by being so much in control of their wives and mothers.
Fantastic video.
So much pain for younger generations.
😂😂 male are not under any control but male want to control every women in house specially close one ; male just play safe
I really enjoy opening up my mindset and I can say this is 100% right guru gi
Seen this personally in my house and even outside.
I am from upper middle class family.
Reading comment may really seems to you that ohh no! our family is really good not that bad but guess what? all Indian family are perfect on surface. My family is also really grate really enjoy all the love and relations but I am wise enough to understand the deep rooted problems that definitely merge up after 10, 20 years above
Your video is always informative and practical
very nice....to all ladies ...plz be very fair to everyone n believe in the law of karma
Relatable...👍
Sab relatives se 1-1 karle baat hi krte hu pehle...fhir aapki video poori dekhungi😂
Aur tab kya jab in- laws bahu ke parents ko mis -treat karte hain ?
Aur uske parents ke waha jana tak allowed nhi karte?
Aur agar bache ko le jaye apne parents ke waha toh , bacha jo bhi galati karega uske liye kahenga bahu ke mayake se sikh ke aaya hain?
We in south divided equally among 3 bros and 2 sis in 2010 itself
परिस्थितियों के कारन भी अछा सोच को लागू करना, हर किसी के बस में नहीं होता, मजबूरियां भी बरा कारन बनता है, तब अछा बुरा कहलाता hai???????😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😮
100 percent true analysis
Most of the time sir in laws are v judgemental and they cause quarrells..relationship is built both sides
What you said is correct .....but there are many instances when boys parent itself act toxic and make brothers fight ( fivide and rule strategy) in which case the family gets disintegrated even if the boy's wife wants to maintain relationship with the family of he in-laws.
Mere case me mere sasur ne life me kuch kamaya nahi hai, puri life sharab me waste kardi. Saas sasur dono ne baccho ki parvarish pe jyada dhyan nahi diya. Unke bada beta, dusra beta (mera pati) aur tisri beti govn school me padhe. Unke khane pine ke lale the. Bada beta 20k naukri karta hai toh usse toh koi ummid hi nahi hai. Mera pati by chance bcs karke IT mein achhi job karta hai toh behen ki shaadi, maa baap ko sambhalna aur bade bhai ko business kholke dena (joki usne duba diya) sab responsibility mere pati ki hai. Bade bhai ki biwi maa baap ko ghar par pair nahi rakhne deti aur jo jayaz hai kyunki meri saas kalesh karne mein aur pati patni ke bich zagda lagane me expert hai taki ghar aur bete ke paiso ka control uske hath me rahe. Woh khane ki cheeze tak chhupa ke rakhti hai taki mehengi cheeze bahue na khaye. Woh aisi maa hai ki apne bachho me bhi bhed bhav karti hai. Jo kamayga use achha khana milega. Aur sabse achha khana mujhe milega. Maine aaj tak aisa suna aur dekha tha ki maa khane pine ke mamle me apne baccho me kabhi bhed bhav nhi karti aur khud adhe pet rehti hai par baccho ka pet bharti hai, Meri saas jaisi maa pehli baar dekhi hai jo khane ke picche itni pagal hai ki bhuk me apne bachcho ko bhi kha jaye.
So back to the topic ki sasural walo se relation maintain karke kuch milne wala toh hai nahi ulta paise jaenge. Mere bachche mere parents se close rahe toh better hai. Aur aaj tak maine mostly dekha hai ki bhai bhai ek dusre ko dhoka jyada dete hai compared to bhai behen. Mama maa ko dhoka nahi dega par chacha ya taya baap ko dhoka mostly deta hi hai.
Aur mere pati kehta hai tere baap ne shaadi me bohot kam kharcha kiya isilye teri value kam rahegi hamare ghar me unless tu bohot kaam kare aur kamaye bhi. Mere parents aur bhai behen bhatija aur bachcha mere liye tujhse jyada imp hai kyunki blood relations pati patni ke relation se bade hote hai.
Mere usse ye kehna hai ki mere maa baap tujhpe kharcha karte agar tere pas job ke alawa kuch property hoti. Tere khudke maa baap ne tujhe kuch nahi diya, nahi tera khud ka ghar hai toh tujh jaise ko woh dehej kyu denge. Kal teri job chali gayi toh tu toh kahi ka nahi rahega aur tere so called blood relations pehle bhag jaenge.
Aap ki bhi baat sahi hai sasural walo se bana kar rakhna chhy..mei ne aise kai ghar dekhe jha bana kar rakhna tu kuch nahi bahuo ne apne aap ko tyaag diya magar na tareef mili na ahsaas hua na property mili kuch nahi 😢
U are right. Actually we should keep balance in relationships in both sides
My MIL always have some urgent work whenever I call her and while talking to my husband she is always free 😂
Best is to avoid marriage….
Sir, u hit the target awesomely
100 percent thik hai aap ki baat hai
Now a days saas sudhr jaye to puri family sudher jaye or relationship b
Please make more videos because those who are still out of this circle learning alot
Mere pati ka kehna hai ki pati patni ka rishta sabseb nicha hota hai (in case, even if both r good n loyal to each other, not cheating wives). Pati ki priority pehle uske maa baap, bhai behen, bhanje, bhatije aur apne bachche hote hai aur phir patni aati hai. Feudal bollywood films me maine aisa dekha hai par reality me maine apne aas paas pati patni ka rishta sabse uncha dekha hai. Bure waqt me maa baap se leke bhai behen aur bachcho tak ek admi ka sab sath chhod dete hai par patni har baar sath deti hai. Atleast, maine toh aise hi examples dekhe hai. Aaj kal ke ladke maa baap aur blood relations ki toh bohot izzat karte hai par apni biwi pe cheat karte hai. Bahar muh marte hai. Aur biwi se expect karte hai ki woh apne parents ko secondary rakhe, unse paisa nikalwaye aur uske maa baap ki seva kare, adjustments aur sacrifices kare, ghar ka kaam bhi kare aur paise bhi kamaye.
Aaj se har male bhagwan ki tisvir aur unka naam unke maa maa baap sath hona chahiye, patni ke sath nahi. Aare har pooja me pati patni sath baithte hai, maa baap nahi. Value your wives. Par aaj kal kuch aurte bhi whores ban gayi hai, woh bhi ghar ke bahar job karne ke bahane muh marti hai. Bohot gandi ho gayi hai aaj kal ki society. 90s ke couples best the. Ek toh nuclear families hoti thi. Dusra unke parents financially ladke pe dependent nahi hote the kyunki unki pension aati thi. Tirsa biwi ghar sambhalti thi aur pati paise kamate the. Ek dusre pe cheat karna almost nahi ke barabar tha kyunki biwiya ghar me rehti thi. 90s couples lived the best life. Par unke bachche bakwas ho gaye hai, ladke aur ladkiya dono.
Aap bilkul sahi bol rahe hai..maine apni maa ko yahi samjhaya
I totally agree with you sir. 👍
बहुत सही आकलन हैं
Being a woman and after going through hell of a turmoil by both father n mother Parent side . I can finally say that it is the women who Is a worse enemy Of other women not men. She is the one who starts all the kalesh firstly Directly or indirectly n keeps on streaching it generation after generation with other women and men of the family are manipulated n brainwashed into believing that whatever she is doing is right!
Touchy fact but true...
Aisa sahi video bnaya hai seriously kisi me aise bolne k himmat nahi
Sir, ek bahu ka sasural uska ghar kabhi nhn ban sakta. Uska sasural Uska ghar, saas ke uppr jaane ke baad Banta hai. Pehle bahu ko apna bnaao fir unse umeed rakho
A woman has no home.
Mayka says beti toh parayi hai.
Sasural says bahu toh parayi hai.
So be independent and leave respectfully.
Please also make a video for father's side of family, to behave properly with bahu of the family and not treat them like a slave/non-person.
I generally agree with the content you post here, but this video is not only biased, but the advises are most absurd and indeed sexist.
Jab father's side mein hi shuru se accha mahaul nahi rehta , then how do you expect the mother to not retaliate ??? Most families treat their daughter-in-laws like shit, and then later expect them to be kind and caring ?? Ye kaha ka nyay hai.
You yourself say - ki aisa nahi hai ki daughter-in-laws ke liye buri conditions nahi exist karti ; but agar baad mein chutiye relatives bolte hai ki Supreme Court se le aa hak, toh thike they will use their rights and bring in the lawyers. I don't see any issue.
And vo chacha/tau kaun hote hai bolne wale ? Decision toh Father-in-law/Mother-in-Law ko lena hai na apni property ka ? Dads toh unke hi bacche hai na , rishte toh papa log banake rakh hi rahe hai na? Isme mahila/daughter-in-law kaha se aagayi ?
If the men's family side hadn't been bad to daughter-in-law , toh rishte toh first place mein bigadte nahi na ? Mahila nahi bigad rahi , chutiye rishtedar bigad rahe. Jab dadi/dada pyar karne layak hi nahi hai, and only care's for her son(father); it's not the daughter-in-law's fault na ? Nor her kids ? Only dadi's son should care about her, it's unfair to the victims.
Simple funda, men care about their parents and affairs related to them and women should do the same for her own parents. No one should be responsible, nor suffer mental anguish because of the other side. Besides, you totally forget that man himself will be interested in his share too, his parent's.
Don't worry people today are very strong, court jana padega toh jayenge - faltu ka anyay nahi sahenge. And please don't resort to absurd fear mongering - ki baccho ki shadi nahi hogi falana dhimkana. Aisi soch wale logo ke karan hi, abhi tak 'India aisa hai'. When you get over such stupid thoughts, you are free of samaj ka faltu pressure.
Most Indian daughter-in-laws suffer from mental issues because of this same men's side family. Men are capable of taking care of and dealing with their parents too. It's not the women's job.
Excellent advice Sir.
Boys r not attached to their families then it's not only wife s responsibility? If husband is not respectful to wife how come his relatives
My sister-in-law is doing same right now. She came back from her Sasural and bring her husband to piyar. She made him work in her father's business. She made him contribution in her father's business and help his brother's business. Now, my sasaural wale is trying to convince my brother-in-law to sell his ancestral property and get money and invest somewhere as per her choice.
All these things are impacting my wife thoughts and making rift between me and my wife. How can I keep my married life safe? and how can I keep my wife safe.
Thank you soo much sir 😂😂 i am newly married bride, i got married in the month of January, I will keep this video in my mind always ❤😂
Exactly...keep a balance, unless things are extreme.
Mayke mein call karke har baat maat batana sasural walon ke...backfire hota hai baad mein😁
How your life going?
No one will love outsider . Everyone will love their own blood.
Today generation gap is huge than ever between any 2 generations.
That's the main cause. Older generation thinks they are giving too much freedom cause they didn't had any.
Present generation women grew up with equal rights like men. Suddenly they can't let it go. Neither it's fair.
Some young men understand this . Some young men don't understand it.
Also humans comes in all flavours. Neither all DIL ,MIL ,SON ,FIL are good or all bad.
Today pre- marriage counseling is extremely required but people don't understand the need and shy from it. That's the root cause of problem.
Problem in our society - Historically our society which went through turbulent times and Abrahamic influence became backward thinking. Now we have peace and progress . So new generation wants to live life accordingly.
Old generation don't understand Bhartiya civilization. But they keep lecturing about traditions and society. That is big problem.
People complaining and generalising society is not good. Many cases where in laws were good but over time fallout happened. Many times DIL took things without speaking against it.
Also others (extended relatives) needs to stay out of someone's family issues.
Sangwan saheb kya baat hai
Covert harassments very difficult to deal...
Ladki se jada ladki ke ma bap jimmedar hote hain...kyon ki woh ladki ka control apne hat se jane nahi dena chanate...this is just power game
@@krutikah1468 ladke k saas sasur usko isliye nahi jala sakte kyunki wo unke saath nahi rehta.
Dusra ek working ladke se homely responsibly expected nhi na hi working ladki se expected hai.
@@krutikah1468 ladki k maa baap ka role hota h usko guide karna k paternal relations kaise maintain karna hai
Ya fir ladki ko dedo apni property ka half hissa.
Chalo half rehne do 30% hi dedo.