I just recently started to develop vascular dementia and I have a lot of good days still but it’s exhausting and frustrating. There’s times when I have asked when we’re going to the store because I want to get some things and my sister is frustrated and doesn’t feel like dealing with me so she will tell me that we already went to the store. And then I will spend an hour searching for things that I don’t have because we never went to the store! And on bad days it just makes it worse because it adds to the confusion and frustration and makes me second guess myself more and I spend all my energy trying to remember something that never happened and find things I never got! So please don’t tell your loved ones with dementia that they already did something that they did not do just because you don’t feel like doing it. It’s cruel!
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that! It's so hard on everyone involved. I hope you know that you are not a burden and that by and large, you are a blessing in the folks in your life's eyes and your worth as a person isn't determined by doing things perfectly through a disease. If you ever need anything, our community of both caregivers and those with the disease are here to support you on your journey and allow you to vent.
My grandfather had dementia. I'm named after my grandmother, whom he was married to for 52 years. When his home health aide addressed me by my name, he started to talk about my grandmother. I think his mind had gone back to a time before I was born. I didn't have the heart to tell himmy grandmother had passed away several years before.
Well, pretty good. I was diagnosed with mild frontotemporal dementia. Not caused any big problems yet, except I occasionally forget what people are sad or I’ll repeat myself. Not a big deal I care for myself I can drive etc. etc. I’ve got wonderful children, and a wonderful wife. What really upsets me is when they say I have already told you that! Sometimes I don’t remember. Sometimes they don’t run our life said to them. But I’ll must realize that it is what it is. And they are looking out for my best interest. But I am the father husband bread maker etc. for 50 years. If you’re going to speak to me please treat me like an adult not like a toddler.
So glad for these videos and great advice, Krista. Recommending them to friends who are just starting down the caregiving road. Dad lived with us the last 10 years of his life (died last year, age 97). Have made every mistake you mention. :) You are offering practical work-arounds.
Remember, every time your loved one asks you the question, it is the 20th time you have answered, but to them, it is the 1st time they are hearing the answer. Thank you for your videos!!
For such a young girl you have a lot of expertise in this! I have to remind my fiance NOT to say "remember?" Instead you could try to say "I remember Uncle John.. like if you wanted to ask about a relative...sometimes they will say "oh yeah Uncle John used to wear suspenders." or whatever.She gets a little frustrated if you say "remember" She actually said last week.."I think i have Alzhiemers like my mother had." I feel so bad, she is very bright, still does crossword puzzles,word finds but she doesn't remember her dishwasher is broken..
My late father used to say I needed to "teach Mom a lesson" for forgetting. I'd have to explain repeatedly, that segment of Mom's cognition is gone. Strangely, Mom does respond money-wise at the store, "you have to pay for the milk because you keep spilling the milk." Mom becomes more conservative with the milk, cereal etc. I don't know why that connection works -- when so many other connections are severed. I don't recommend to try that, but strangely it works in our house.
I'm starting to think i myself have dimentia....if i really feel i'm going to i should make a video to my loved ones apologizing for the frustration i'm going to cause and that for them to love me and forgive me anyways
When a patient asked me to call her husband, I did, not knowing he had passed 10 years ago. When I told her he had passed she cried like a baby it was news to her. The next time she asked me to call her husband I did and told her he Was working in the garage. She said ok.
How do you “remind” visitors of what not to say, when they are family & occasional visitors (maybe 2 times or 3 times each week - but only more than 30min once a week?
Here's 2 FREE dementia cheatsheets for acitivies and what to do w/ challenging behaviors, download @ dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs
I just recently started to develop vascular dementia and I have a lot of good days still but it’s exhausting and frustrating. There’s times when I have asked when we’re going to the store because I want to get some things and my sister is frustrated and doesn’t feel like dealing with me so she will tell me that we already went to the store. And then I will spend an hour searching for things that I don’t have because we never went to the store! And on bad days it just makes it worse because it adds to the confusion and frustration and makes me second guess myself more and I spend all my energy trying to remember something that never happened and find things I never got! So please don’t tell your loved ones with dementia that they already did something that they did not do just because you don’t feel like doing it. It’s cruel!
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that! It's so hard on everyone involved. I hope you know that you are not a burden and that by and large, you are a blessing in the folks in your life's eyes and your worth as a person isn't determined by doing things perfectly through a disease. If you ever need anything, our community of both caregivers and those with the disease are here to support you on your journey and allow you to vent.
My grandfather had dementia. I'm named after my grandmother, whom he was married to for 52 years. When his home health aide addressed me by my name, he started to talk about my grandmother. I think his mind had gone back to a time before I was born. I didn't have the heart to tell himmy grandmother had passed away several years before.
Yes. I have made them all. Knowledge is power. Thank you.
Well, pretty good. I was diagnosed with mild frontotemporal dementia. Not caused any big problems yet, except I occasionally forget what people are sad or I’ll repeat myself. Not a big deal I care for myself I can drive etc. etc. I’ve got wonderful children, and a wonderful wife. What really upsets me is when they say I have already told you that! Sometimes I don’t remember. Sometimes they don’t run our life said to them. But I’ll must realize that it is what it is. And they are looking out for my best interest. But I am the father husband bread maker etc. for 50 years. If you’re going to speak to me please treat me like an adult not like a toddler.
You said it, it is so hard to not tell them, do you remember.
Thx for great advice!! I want to cry for my impatience !
So glad for these videos and great advice, Krista. Recommending them to friends who are just starting down the caregiving road. Dad lived with us the last 10 years of his life (died last year, age 97). Have made every mistake you mention. :) You are offering practical work-arounds.
Remember, every time your loved one asks you the question, it is the 20th time you have answered, but to them, it is the 1st time they are hearing the answer. Thank you for your videos!!
Your information is so helpful. Thank you. By the way, your looking so pretty in this video!
For such a young girl you have a lot of expertise in this! I have to remind my fiance NOT to say "remember?" Instead you could
try to say "I remember Uncle John.. like if you wanted to ask about a relative...sometimes they will say "oh yeah Uncle John used to wear suspenders." or whatever.She gets a little frustrated if you say "remember" She actually said last week.."I think i have Alzhiemers like
my mother had." I feel so bad, she is very bright, still does crossword puzzles,word finds but she doesn't remember her dishwasher is broken..
Krista your videos get better and better! Thank you for your engagement.
Thank you for your support! I’m always happy to help how I can
My late father used to say I needed to "teach Mom a lesson" for forgetting. I'd have to explain repeatedly, that segment of Mom's cognition is gone. Strangely, Mom does respond money-wise at the store, "you have to pay for the milk because you keep spilling the milk." Mom becomes more conservative with the milk, cereal etc. I don't know why that connection works -- when so many other connections are severed. I don't recommend to try that, but strangely it works in our house.
So very useful. Thank you very very much
I'm starting to think i myself have dimentia....if i really feel i'm going to i should make a video to my loved ones apologizing for the frustration i'm going to cause and that for them to love me and forgive me anyways
When a patient asked me to call her husband, I did, not knowing he had passed 10 years ago. When I told her he had passed she cried like a baby it was news to her. The next time she asked me to call her husband I did and told her he Was working in the garage. She said ok.
Krista, do you have tips for talking to someone with mild dementia and who is refusing to accept it?
What if they keep saying someone is talking to me but there is no one there?
How do you “remind” visitors of what not to say, when they are family & occasional visitors (maybe 2 times or 3 times each week - but only more than 30min once a week?
I tell my mom ok but she gets mad.
One thing you should never do is elect them to be President of the United States of America. Right Uncle Joe? Oops, you've fallen again?
EXACTLY
Wake these people the hell up!!!!
Sooo much empathy here
@@carolginsberg8392 I have no empathy for stoopidity and ignorance.