My Naughty Side, Walrus | Joe Lycett

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  • Опубликовано: 28 июл 2021
  • Me, The Walrus, and the perfect alibi.
    Hello! Welcome to my OFFICIAL Joe Lycett RUclips channel. Where you can watch clips, compilations, and full shows, along with more EXCLUSIVE content.
    Subscribe to the channel here - bit.ly/2w8JPKB
    I'm going on tour in 2022 with my brand-new show More, More, More! How Do You Lycett? How Do You Lycett?
    Tickets are on sale now here: joelycett.com/Comedy
    #JoeLycett #StandUp #Comedy #LiveAtTheApollo
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Комментарии • 88

  • @oricalu448
    @oricalu448 2 года назад +341

    For those who are curious, you would have to go 900mph to get from Birmingham to Leeds in 8 minutes, which is nearly 1.2x the speed of sound.

    • @franzfanz
      @franzfanz Год назад +17

      Thank you for doing the maths so I don't have to.

    • @chickentakeover2076
      @chickentakeover2076 Год назад +2

      Sounds easy enough

    • @oppionatedindividual8256
      @oppionatedindividual8256 Год назад +1

      @@chickentakeover2076 in a jet fighter maybe, or the Rolls Royce Deathhound ( not the car company , the aerospace engineers )

  • @jamiemiller7316
    @jamiemiller7316 2 года назад +396

    "She had a face like she was constantly pissing in to a hot tub and getting away with it." Joe has such a way with words.

  • @ItsMeSami
    @ItsMeSami 2 года назад +128

    “Walrus says you can piss off!” 😹

  • @VeraBean
    @VeraBean 2 года назад +167

    To be fair a walrus would kick a toddler if given a chance.

  • @usmaanali7
    @usmaanali7 2 года назад +273

    When your sad just binge joe

    • @caroled3943
      @caroled3943 2 года назад +10

      How did you know?

    • @ItsMeSami
      @ItsMeSami 2 года назад +7

      I CONCUR!

    • @James-semaJ
      @James-semaJ 2 года назад +7

      I've done this so many times. I hope you're okay.

    • @Cj-ej2yx
      @Cj-ej2yx 2 года назад +6

      its currently 5:55am for me and im tryna lift my soul thank you from NZ Joe ❤❤

    • @bartvermeer5104
      @bartvermeer5104 2 года назад +6

      I've seen this a million times

  • @claredodd1258
    @claredodd1258 2 года назад +45

    "Kick that toddler!" 👍😅😅😅 love Joe

  • @fennecf4431
    @fennecf4431 2 года назад +83

    Wet scrambled eggs in a chair is a whole mood

  • @watermelonsandal4206
    @watermelonsandal4206 2 года назад +229

    I hate to say it Joe but I think the Subway girl got one over on you. As someone who worked there she must've known that the M&M cookie wasn't part of the deal, hence why she chose that one, even calling it a "good choice." She knew exactly what she was doing.

    • @lizanna6390
      @lizanna6390 2 года назад +76

      I think she was listening to her own inner walrus

  • @angelogolde4035
    @angelogolde4035 7 месяцев назад +1

    “I would have to break the speed of sound Sharon” 😂 🤣

  • @morganbrownie42
    @morganbrownie42 2 года назад +163

    Hugo boss is my favorite comedian. not sure who this Joe Lycett guy is

  • @glitterbitesback
    @glitterbitesback 2 года назад +71

    And why do the ghosts always speak English? I actually remember a ghost hunter tv show explaining that the ghosts have translators…nah nah nah…

    • @cameroncooksey6718
      @cameroncooksey6718 2 года назад +3

      Yea every ghost just so happen to speak whatever language you do hmm?

    • @dlawn1030
      @dlawn1030 2 года назад +2

      @@cameroncooksey6718 They've had eternity to learn every language so that they know how to spell on whatever dialect of ouija board you've purchased.

  • @DoodleThis
    @DoodleThis 2 года назад +21

    I swear, Joe Lycett and his parking tickets 😂

  • @easyybreezeyy
    @easyybreezeyy 2 года назад +5

    „I saw a ghost in Morrisons“ 😂

  • @NoJusticeNoPeace
    @NoJusticeNoPeace 2 года назад +85

    Subway did the same thing to me. They had a sale on turkey subs, and I'm a vegetarian. I asked for a turkey sub, hold the turkey. They told me I couldn't do that, because then it would be a vegetarian sub and they'd have to charge me more. I argued with them until they got the manager. I asked the manager if I could get the turkey on the side. He thought about it and agreed that would be okay. So I got my turkey-sub-hold-the-turkey, then hucked the turkey in the garbage right in front of them, and they were totally okay with that. I got a cheaper sub for throwing away their meat.

    • @Widdekuu91
      @Widdekuu91 2 года назад +7

      I once asked for a few extra olives, but the manager (at that point) was a cheap piece of sheet. So he said no. My ex, being galantly for a change, offered to give me "his" olives. The manager got upset.
      We returned again, two days later and he recognised us. Immediately he whispered (loudly!) to a new worker; Dont give that woman more olives, she'll try to get more olives!"
      After filing a complaint online, we got a free sub, veggie delight, with extra olives.

  • @14rnr
    @14rnr 2 года назад +31

    Thanks for the laughs Joe, you've made my day better.

  • @chilam1
    @chilam1 2 года назад +4

    More content Joe! I love it

  • @stevewilcox6375
    @stevewilcox6375 2 года назад +16

    Thanks for uploading these Joe, I really look forward to these vids!

  • @ProjectFlashlight612
    @ProjectFlashlight612 2 года назад +39

    Subway sandwiches are magical. No matter what bread you pick, no matter the filling, they all taste exactly the same.

    • @TallSilentGuy
      @TallSilentGuy 2 года назад +2

      That's funny because I don't recall the tuna sub tasting anything like the meatball sub.

    • @politemenace5781
      @politemenace5781 2 года назад +3

      How do they do that? There's something like an intense flavour of oregano every time.

  • @LadyMelmo.
    @LadyMelmo. Год назад +3

    "Kick that toddler!" will never not be funny...I wonder if I can use that when the police are questioning me about any potential toddler kicks.

  • @harelquinfox8375
    @harelquinfox8375 2 года назад +3

    Omg!!!😆I can’t!! 🙌🏼

  • @markjones336
    @markjones336 2 года назад +2

    Brilliant!😂👍

  • @gdiluvthesepeaches3911
    @gdiluvthesepeaches3911 2 года назад +2

    My spirit animal...🤣

  • @lunalovegood5598
    @lunalovegood5598 2 года назад +3

    Lol my friend was convinced a ghost threw his toy dragon at him

  • @ThePeekaboo777
    @ThePeekaboo777 2 года назад +18

    Wish there were more longer specials or clips :/

    • @Rose-ry6gm
      @Rose-ry6gm 2 года назад +5

      There’s a channel called Rissa that has a lot of Joe Lycett stuff

  • @wisteela
    @wisteela 2 года назад +3

    Classic stuff

  • @Marielledavies
    @Marielledavies 9 месяцев назад

    To make the world perfect, I think you standing up to the Vegan Teacher would be hilarious 😂

  • @coolwahl
    @coolwahl 2 года назад +1

    Oh my fucking god this guy 😭😭😭

  • @rachell4417
    @rachell4417 2 года назад +1

    Hearing voices? Walrus

  • @marcy3127
    @marcy3127 Год назад

    I threw McDonalds into a panic by asking for burgers with no pickles!!

  • @pltopper771
    @pltopper771 2 года назад +5

    you put water in the oil barrel and freeze the dent then comes out

  • @paulfrels3590
    @paulfrels3590 2 года назад +3

    The Cookie Law!

  • @DrBagPhD
    @DrBagPhD Год назад +1

    An ex and I did almost exactly this in Edinburgh except it was her reg that we put in wrong. Got a fine in an adorable little packet with a tartan-border and had to email them to get it sorted xD

  • @dlawn1030
    @dlawn1030 2 года назад +1

    Ok Morrisons staff, you know what to do... after hours ouija board session.

  • @dawnjohnson8739
    @dawnjohnson8739 2 года назад +8

    I saw a ghost at the foot of my bed, for real. My dad had died recently and he had come to visit. Woke me up from sleep and scared the heck out of me. That was when I knew nothing of these matters. Now, I know a whole lot more.

    • @shwajo
      @shwajo Год назад +6

      Jeez, someone gets caught watching someone else sleeping for a few minutes and suddenly it's all ghosts this, ghosts that.

    • @jonsmith5058
      @jonsmith5058 Год назад +4

      What a creepy way for the Dad to visit.

  • @ashb8036
    @ashb8036 2 года назад +5

    So Joe darling, it’s 2021 now…

  • @lizanna6390
    @lizanna6390 Год назад +1

    I worked in a city center McDonald's that had two ghosts.
    Only one that anyone has seen. But new starter felt the nasty aura in the toilets before anyone warned her.

  • @nathanm1748
    @nathanm1748 2 года назад +9

    Another re upload?

  • @isabellaangeline2175
    @isabellaangeline2175 2 года назад +10

    I thought this was already uploaded?

    • @221b-Maker-Street
      @221b-Maker-Street 2 года назад +2

      You’re right, it was. Ages ago. Re-uploaded by his SM team in advance of his new tour, I imagine...

  • @ytiralc
    @ytiralc Год назад +1

    Walruss is just a jumbled version of Lycett with letters from the other end of the alphabet?

  • @angeldollface666
    @angeldollface666 Год назад +1

    3240 km/h or 2.6 Mach? What car is Joe driving?😂😂

  • @Madamoizillion
    @Madamoizillion Год назад +2

    Comforting to know parking attendants are the same everywhere in the world.
    Also I'm appalled that the Subway person didn't like the white chocolate cookies; everything in Subway is shit except for the white chocolate cookies and those are so good they're unholy.

  • @TheStrategyGamerPro
    @TheStrategyGamerPro 2 года назад +9

    Why do you you keep reuploading the same clips? Like I love them but after watching the same clip in 2 different videos it's a bit much

  • @TallSilentGuy
    @TallSilentGuy 2 года назад +2

    28 people were told to Dislike this by the walrus.

  • @DrBagPhD
    @DrBagPhD Год назад

    To be fair to the ghosts, would you notice if you saw one in Morrisons?

  • @Bhalforii
    @Bhalforii 2 года назад +13

    Stop uploading the same clip over and over. This channel is turning into Mr Bean

  • @prvf7645
    @prvf7645 2 года назад +2

    There is no r in " I saw " ( uk thing , they out an r in in words like sawing sowing so it becomes sawring sowring when they speak I I wonder why ?

  • @alexkrok2511
    @alexkrok2511 8 месяцев назад

    You know, silly things...

  • @1212341234alan
    @1212341234alan 2 года назад +1

    Jokes not part of the deal Ahha good deed done then

  • @hritikadhavde2729
    @hritikadhavde2729 2 года назад +4

    First

  • @tedsmith2478
    @tedsmith2478 2 года назад +3

    Another supposed comedian foisted on us

  • @street2party
    @street2party 2 года назад +7

    Why do you drip feed old content that has been seen over and over again? I like Joe Lycett but he has a serious lack of good content.

  • @darkangelholz
    @darkangelholz 2 года назад +4

    First

    • @seanjosephhayes
      @seanjosephhayes 2 года назад +4

      Well done you. 😊👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻