Identity & finding a reason to live
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- No wonder guys get depressed and suicidal when what they pinned their entire identity to gets taken away. You need to find something to live for, or you know how you will end up.
Intro/Outro by Walker Trips:
/ @walkertrips
Gameplay from Blade & Soul
Thumbnail from Garo: Vanishing Line
"Man is a tragic animal. Not because of his smallness, but because he is too well endowed. Man has longings and spiritual demands that reality cannot fulfill. We have expectations of a just and moral world. Man requires meaning in a meaningless world." - Peter Wessel Zapffe
The military is always focused on the efficiency of its force and its members who contribute to make it that way. Once those members are no longer part of the military main mission; maintaining the efficiency of their army, the military focused on the next, younger generation of soldiers. Basically, veterans are left unprepared for the reality of the civilian life.
Efficiency is really a nice thing for interpretation. How we value it from one people to another is what makes it go to both extremes. I agreed that results are not always what you expect to receive.
That is mainly the younger ones who had never been in the workforce before they join. Since they will spend 5, 10, 15 or 20/25 years in the same organization with the same standard each year and dedication to let go of your personal grudges for the good of the many, i'm not surprised this will cause quite a raucous for many of them when they are back on the civilian side.
It will always be the responsibility of the military member to prepare his future when it is time to leave the service. Yes, the military should provide more tools and a good program to prepare its members when they are about to leave in order to make a good transition, but this issue is mainly solved right now on the personal level, not as an organization or as a society. I take as proof the number of reported homeless veterans that remains around 40, 000 nationwide each year.
efficiency is a quantifiable number
This attitude is why I originally subscribed to you. When I did, I really needed someone to tell to just live for what I enjoy. It's so important to keep in mind, I found, but in reality, very few people (at least in my area) seem to want to acknowledge that. Work itself is a kind of status symbol and working yourself to the bone is admirable until the burnout comes. Then it's "he/she had it coming".
Don't get swept up in that attitude like I did for while, people. It's just unhealthy. And more importantly, it isn't fun either.
Wait, you mean I'm *not* supposed to be satisfied just being a disposable cog to grease to wheels of society's insatiable greed?
*envy
I live for My hobbies, my friends, and for laughing at society as it crumbles away whilst spiting me.
I'm 27 this year, i work as a pharmacist, well paying job to the point i am comfortable spending on things i love like games, figures, anime, artbooks, manga, and various other hobbies i have. it's my principle that any adult person must have a hobby to put energy into and im really glad i found this weab side of me more than a decade ago. i have many friends since my school and uni years, and it feels like right now, for the guys, their whole purpose is tied up to working and finding money to raise family. they scoff at me when i right now mention anything about hobby, or how i never have enough time to do everything i want to do, or how i plan to use my weekends and holiday watching anime, gaming, drawing, and many other stuffs, often enough telling me to grow up and find a girl already. they insinuates that the only purpose i have in life is to raise family and focus my whole energy in that. i honestly can never understand that. it feels like i'm the only one with real passion.
What helped you decide to be a pharmacist cause I don't know what to do I'm not good at anything
im just used to be good at studying and before long i ended up in pharmacy course because it's the only program in my country that guaranteed at least few years contract with government back then. im good enough for any science course but not good enough for medicine.
what if i can't enjoy anything. i mean that literally. it's a biological impossibility for me to enjoy things. i can express it but not very well, so people see it as anger. it kind of is.
This is an excellent video, man! I saw that in my dad. The divorce nearly killed him. I also see many co-workers of mine who tie their whole identity to their careers and their provider role. DANGER!!!! Is what I think, then. My identity is not even tied to my country, anymore, even though I consider myself a patriot and I like my country. One should only identify with external things to a point. There is a threshold from where it becomes dangerous and unhealthy.
That was awesome! When the subject of men's identity comes up I'm taken back to The Animal Farm and the horse. Men are like that horse; everyone loved him until he couldn't produce any longer and once he went lame: off to the glue factory.
I'm more of an observer than a participant of society. Watching society and the social "conscious" people scramble around trying to save their asses, while being ignorant about their own role in said situation is amusing. The social contract was broken long before I was born, so I'm less amused that I was brainwashed through school to accept the premises, which I realized no longer exists when I was red-pilled. Now I have the NFG attitude.
You know it!
Finding or discovering a passion is incredibly important. It's male biology to identify themselves by their working status. Problem with this is society will chew you up and spit you out with your identity.
Me? I love speedrunning games, Painting, reading books, and enjoy bicycling. I enjoy teaching people to have boundaries setup (especially friends who get run over by woman). I took a break from making YT content (games are my thing there).
I enjoy the small things in life because as a black bi man growing up in the chaotic black community, you quickly learn to put up with no one's crap (god they know how to make men go away).
Male identity is centered around actions and doing and the role you play (which is why suicide is a thing for men after divorces or depression follows breakups). One of the contributing forces to male identity has been woman's impact on men.
Unfortunately, woman aren't obligated to hold up their responsibilities, which makes the provider role woman have instilled in us redundant in the last 50 years.
Men build things. Womnen gain access to them by giving their sexuality away.
I love drawing.
when I grow up I want to become a professional artist. to that end I draw a lot to improve my skills. not all the time, but a lot. I don't care all that much for school. right now it's tedious and boring. a high school diploma won't necessarily ensure "success"; it's wheather or not what you bring to the table is worth the price.
I don't think about my identity much, but the best summary I have is "a human who likes to create." that's what I consider myself to be; I can add modifiers to that, but that's what I am first and foremost: a human who likes to create.
I guess I'm on my way to self-actualization.
I have a marine buddy, actually a woman, but all of that is true about her. Growing up all she had was a military school, tgen the military, war, and after that - only maladjustment, PTSD, homelessness and being a reject of society. It may very well be all because of the ways soldiers have that identity of a soldier/marine beaten into their heads, and that becomes their everything. After getting out into the civilian world, vets feel that emptiness and can't adapt back to a life without the battlefield, because they have completely been restructured for serving the country, not participating in society. To this day my friend keeps talkinv how she's used to being part of something bigger and doesn't know any different. She's obsessed with tech and programming, has a brilliant mind, but the years in the sandbox have taken their toll. Not only the memory that haunts her to this day, but the fact she feels unfit to live a normal life among regular people. The roots of this problem go as deep as the way those who serve are treated by their country, as a tradeable commodity rather than a human being. I have mad respect for them but at the same time will never understand their strife to be part of something else, an entity bigger than themselves. I had thoughts of joining the army at one time, but seeing what it does to people... not so sure.
your friend sounds hot
manarayofhope23 come on dude that was not the point
I live for the things that make me happy. Language, video games, manga, anime, good friends, etc. I like to keep things simple and I have absolutely no grand ambitions. I just wanna do me. I only produce for society as much as I have to in order to earn my keep and support my hobbies.
LOL, pretty much. Took me 4 years to readjust, after I got out back in 2008. Self actualization and Self Authorship is very important, I tried Professor Peterson program, it worked very well for me. Maybe the VA will pay for it under the Transition Assistance.
This is one of the first things I got from Paul Elam
Ask most men who they are, and they'll tell you what they do
Men should really think that their identities a little bit more completely than that
"Man's Search for Meaning" by Victor Frakle is about this subject and how one can recover themselves. It is a great read.
I was forced to get out of the Army due to the reduction in force started with the previous administration. Putting the identity of soldier behind me is the only thing that kept me sane. I was still pretty depressed when I got out because I wasn't sure what I was going to do (going back to school didn't really work out). But I have a job and I'm catching up on my back catalog of games. Before I left they tried laying on me some b.s. about "solider for life", but I didn't bite. Not only do people need to learn to let go they need to learn to let others let go.
I was E6 at the time when I got out of the military after 10 years of service. I know a man's "identity" is very important, since we are not so "fluid" like women, but it is okay, like famous word from Clint Eastwood, “Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.” we will survive.
I know it's not the proper canon ending of castlevania SOTN but I liked what Richter said when you beat him, his imagined justification for resurrecting Dracula. So he could fight him for eternity. So he would have a _purpose_.
"What need for the shepard when the wolves have all gone...?"
Thx raging my father servered the marines and if not for him finding his identity when he left we would have had a screwed up household and you gave me something to look into in that manner plus i live in not even three miles away from a military base and so many trailers that retired military men live in and I sit there in that same trailer park asking my self these ppl are warriors that defended our country for god knows how many years is this all they get for doing what they've done in our name?
I don't have any reason to get up in the morning, as far as I can remember
Morningwood just happens
If your an single older young man like myself ( 35 ), you'll learn you need to find your own goals, priorities and accomplishment. You can't always live for the sake of someone else, it's a depression trap. You need to find your own thing and make yourself feel accomplished in doing it. Some people find this the hardest thing in the world, and they have to realize it doesn't have to be anything big, it can be small. Do a bunch of small things that make you happy, then work on larger things that can make you happy as a side project to the little things. These small things help pass the time and the large ones make memories in which to look back on.
When you look back on what you did, you can say you accomplished loads of things you set out to do.
Don't live up to others expectations, you only have to live up to your own! Be proud of yourself!
And if you can help another guy on the way to his own goals without risk to yourself, do so, add it to your own list of accomplishments.
More than just the identity a huge contributing factor is the life style. For instance; i've been working at the airport for eleven years and a lot of the old guys that retire die within the year of retiring and they arent even that old, they are like in their mid sixties. Going from being active to inactive over night, finding that all their friends and acquaintances were at the work place, not even having children around anymore, they find themselves in a strange place with nobody to interact with its a void too big to fill.
Yeah that's a real killer for extroverts
Yes but also it's not exclusive; i had two relatives which were loners and died once their life style was taken away from them. Both were farmers, one of them was married but lived alone in a farm in the middle of nowhere with the nearest town two hours away driving, built like a brick wall but very hospitable and kind, we used to go to his farm in the summer, his wife nagged him for years to come to the city and when he finally gave in and came here he started having health issues which led to his death in a short time span. The other was my great grandfather, widower, again very healthy and robust, he broke one of his legs while jumping a fence (which by the way was a shortcut he used to take regularly) while we were visiting him in the summer of '88, so he was forced to take it easy for a while. A week or so later he passed away in his sleep, although to be fair he was 115 at the time so it was more of a case of his body just being very well past his expiring date instead of mental issues leading to heath problems but who knows how much he could've lived had he not suffered that accident. The moral of the story is that drastic changes in peoples' lives will have negative effects regardless of what they do and we have to keep in mind it can happen to anyone. We cant plan for something we dont know if, when or how its going to hit us but having plans for some scenarios we can see happening in the future probably can help if things go south.
I'm glad you made this video. I've been struggling with depression for a while now. I was basically brought up with the mentality of making my family proud, but now of days most of my family is either distant or has passed away, leaving me alone with my mom. I used to really love anime, manga, and video games, but now of days, I just don't pay attention to that stuff as much anymore. I used to draw a lot too, but I can barely bring myself to draw anything anymore. I really need to reflect upon myself, but at the same time, I'm not sure exactly what makes me happy anymore. This video provided me with some insight, so maybe I'll try to reflect upon myself again.
Anime, manga, and gaming...a man after my own heart. 😄❤ Cosplay and composing music is on my list as well. Such fun!
I like what J Dilla said "Don't fall in love with the things you do."
"Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at."
Square.Peg But what if you are in love with 5-10 different things?
I personally write, create music, draw, put machinery/gadgets together(/and apart) for fun, research & practice psychology and study mechanical and bioengineering during my free time when I am not studying for the M.Engineering course (which tbh is taking most of my free time atm). ^_^,
Honestly I wished I could create perfect clones of myself (that could mind melt) so I could dedicate more time to all of these things. >_
No doubt take pride and enjoy your work/hobbies. Just remember they are not YOU. You never know what could happen. I used to snowboard everyday and could keep up with some of my pro friends. Then I got injured and had to decide if snowboarding was worth my health and ability to work.
Thanks for this video, its good to hear that someone else besides me is living purely to enjoy life through their hobbies.
you know Raging, I like finally seeing someone who is very much like myself, Introverted, likes to be online more than offline, likes anime and manga (altho I may or may not pirate my stuff) and we both have relatively the same hobbies. Collecting certain *cough* toys, and build models , altho mine are more planes and tank models as opposed to anime models, and thats only because I dont think anyone would ever let me live it down if I had one, its practically the same. So its nice to see someone like myself show me that yes, I can live the lifestyle I want to live despite being told all my life I HAVE to go to collage, I HAVE to get a good career, I HAVE to do this that and the other, when truth be told, I couldn't care less about those things if I made a coincided effort to try and care less about them. The few things I care about are my physical possession and games, and I dont much care how I get the money to acquire those things, as long as I do get the money for those things. so I guess TL;DR thx for existing and showing me da weay bruddah.
Man this message is even more important nowadays since pretty much everything is institutionalized.
I live to draw 2D women, anime women, and some favorite waifus...
I see you're a man of culture as well.
then keep doing it my dude, draw them anime TIDDIES
I soon would like to make 3D women on Blender ; )
To be honest RGE, this happened to me several times, but rather than looking forward to find reasons to live, they kept finding me. Like, I was in deep depression and I was legit considering offing myself, but then I saw something as simple as a movie coming up next year, a game, an anime, even hentai. And I was like "Oh shit. I can't go out without seeing that!" and after that something else came and then another thing came and I was like "Crap! I can't goi out without knowing watching this!"
I’m an observer. I live for the sake of living. I watch. I feel. I understand. And I enjoy every second of it. Even the worst parts of life are made worth living by the anticipation of future events. I live for the rush of seeing what comes next. That is my identity. A liver of life.
AT last some one who gets it .i got to know you still school or do you work
manarayofhope23 self employed and in the business of cleaning up after other people’s fraud, waste, and abuse. I get my laughs at other people’s refusal to take simple measures to make their businesses more productive.
sounds like you got your shit on lockdown i work laundry weekends at a oldfolks home also i may try and back to school this year
My life goal and reason for living and my identity is to make BIG money doing my main hobbies.. and that would be repairing, maintaining, designing, manufacturing, and selling... GUNS!!!!!!! and using that money to BUY MORE GUNS.. and then use what’s left to pay for my many smaller hobbies (such as anime, games, dolls/action figures, coats (I really like the idea of designing my own work clothes), and many other relatively small hobbies... problem Is i can’t do any of this right now. still in school, In a family full of religious people, and low on funds... I essentially get to peruse two things... secretly watch ANIME BOOBBIES... and sometimes a trip to the shooting range :( as you could probably guess there a lot more ok with guns than with my views on marriage, religion and my strange fetishes towards drawings :(
Buzz Bombs Gaming and guns did you go to school to get into that industry by chance? I was thinking of becoming a gunsmith myself but I was wondering if it’s better to just get into the retail aspect of it first to get a foothold. Currently building my first AR haha
I'm similar in archery. I take a slightly different approach as to how much I want to earn from it. In my perfect world, I would make about 70-90% of my income from investments and 10-30% from archery. I think that's decades away still, but I'm taking the "turtle" approach; every month or two, I'm richer, even if only a little. Anyway I do like guns, they're definitely in my top 10 things I like; I would like a gun friend that's also "close" so that I would have a sufficient excuse to go shooting. As it is my .22 gets to see me about 1-2 times per year and my 4-month old air rifle still wants to take some gun control over it. I also have a wishlist of guns; 1-2 handguns, not sure which calibers, 1-2 shotguns, probably a 12ga and/or 20ga, and last but not least, 1-2 rifles, probably a 30-30 or weaker (I'm not intimately familiar with all calibers) the reason being is I don't like guns with too much kick and or noise; I don't even like to be too close to a gun that's too loud. If I am wearing ear protection and your gun is still way loud 20 yards away, it's a caliber I would never buy (I might try it though). I would also like to test out a machine/full auto gun. I would also get another .22, just higher quality; the one I have was $99 a few years ago, they should cost about $150-300, if I'm not mistaken. My gun just had many problems, misfiring, jamming, etc. Anyway sorry to be wordy.
H00d Rat well (and see this is a bad thing) I’m still in high school. But I’ve been studying the topic CONSTANTLY since I was 6 years old! And from the little experience I have and the large amount of knowledge I know I would say that if your gonna be a gunsmith you need a type 1 FFL (federal firearms license) and if you get that you might as well go ahead and sell guns as well. you could work as a gunsmith at a gunshop until you had the money to start your own shop. Or you could get your home based type 1 FFL and fix/sell guns from your home. (Which is what I plan to do but instead of just owning a shop I’m going to start a manufacturing facility). but I will warn you that selling new guns doesn’t make a lot of money unless you get ALOT of buissnes (if you buy a glock 19 from glock it’s probably gonna cost 450$ and your probably gonna sell it for 500$ and after taxes your only gonna make like 30$ on the gun. the real money maker is selling rare used guns or used guns in general, as well as fixing old used guns and selling them. I hope all this information is useful.
Buzz Bombs Gaming and guns it is, thanks for replying
Very true Eagle. My medical discharge from the US Army devastated my sense of self. 18.5 years I was a soldier above all else. Between losing my self and becoming functionally poor, I am just starting to claw back to a "normalized" person. Lesson learned, live for you not for anyone else.
Food keeps me happy and smiling every day!
As one of those sometimes directionless veterans, this has been an interesting perspective on things.
It also doesn't help that the Veterans Administration almost seems to exist to kill veterans, not help them.
Back in the 70s, and especially the 40s and 50s, you had more down time after you were getting out to, well, decompress a bit. Now you're on a jet and back in civilian (or rather, normie) life, without a proper chance to mentally prepare.
I've always liked to tie the "things I like" with "things I can improve on." So hobbies that are tied to a general skill I can apply elsewhere are cool! Bonus points of those hobbies can combine into making something amazing!
ex. drawing/animating + coding + story writing = indie game
A man chooses, a slave obeys.
Would you kindly give yourself a pat on the back?
And a cookie
For me, I just kept my same reason as always. I will further humanity, save the lives of those around me, and take us to the stars. You'll have a hard time stripping me of my will to live.
I'd like to amend what you said. If you just seek pleasure, that will give you a reason not to quit life, but that's about it. To really want to live, you need more than a reason, you need a purpose. And to find your purpose in life, you must find something that doesn't just give pleasure, but something that gives you happiness.
What makes me happy is liberating myself of unnecessary burdens and living as effectively as possible.
The military has months of basic training at least, but no "decommissioning" training as it were. If they set up a program to help not necessarily break the "I'm a soldier" conditioning, but ease them in to civilian life it would be a great help.
Likewise if they could develop an effective post-combat and post-tour program to decompress the troops, that might reduce PTSD and other issues.
I spend my time working on AI so that when the technology reaches the point were we have fully functional humanoid robotics i can make all my waifu's real.
or i might just be slamming my head into a brick wall its hard to tell they feel about the same.
Good luck! ...you wouldn't be the only one out there... someone will pull it off eventually
I remember seeing a very good Karen Straughn video from quite awhile ago that addressed this very issue. About the true harm - especially by feminism - against men, is the stripping them of their identity/roles/self-worth.
I gotta say, When I found your channel a few days ago, I just thought you were a cool guy that gave some damn good points and had a delightful southern accent.
Getting to this video, I feel I respect you even more. I dunno what it was about this particular topic (maybe because it had little to nothing to do with the majority of the other videos RUclips has been feeding to me from the channel), but I feel this is very poignant.
I know I subbed a few days ago, but I'm breaking from my typical activity of being a silent observer to thank you for being a beacon. of reaosn and rationality. I think I'm gonna be around for a while. You've earned my support!
Identity is an illusion. What has been lost when it never really existed? Nor can it ever be stolen from you. Needing to stay busy can be an annoying hangup. The most difficult thing I ever learned to do, was nothing. It's hard. Can you literally just sit and do nothing without going crazy? It's not laziness so long as you've done everything you need to do. When you learn to do nothing, then nothing bothers you anymore, especially the long stretches of empty time that us Mgtow sorts end up with. It's very relaxing and calming when done correctly. It's the original meditation but we can't describe it as meditation anymore because the meaning of the word as come to mean something totally different that involves some sort of trance, praying, twisting yourself into a knot, etc. Those are aspects that came along later to make regular meditation just a bit more interesting, but not meditation itself. It's like confusing the creamer for the coffee it was meant to go in. Anyone interested in knowing more, check out Alan Watts. His lectures saved my sanity and maybe my life.
"A monk sits alone on the mountain quietly, until only the mountain remains." - old zen poem
The topic of identity and purpose is one that men need to take very seriously. Society moves in cycles... Certain identities and purposes win "bigly" depending on which phase of the cycle society is in. A man in the current society is better off living for himself to be honest... However, a little benevolence wouldn't hurt. The problem comes when you live for other people/things while all along they can be taken away from you at any time by a society running in emotions thus making your life a gamble where you essentially haven't calculated your risks.
Living for yourself is the way to go: improved finances (financial freedom), better health (stay fit), get hobbies, and benevolence where possible, building things or discovering things, building knowledge... Etc. Whatever rocks your boat...
Then there are weird people like me: who aim to make their hobby their daily job~ (so basically art and writing)
I got out of the Army under a medical retirement. So I was there released at the age of 26. No real experience, and though I didn't consider the Army to be my Identity, but the abrupt loss of the discipline and structure really threw me for a loop. I have bounced to and from employments and even now at nearly 31, I haven't set myself on what I want to do with my life. I have hobbies and things I like, but I also have a wife and child from before I got out. And so I have to still make enough to support my kids at the very least. I don't regret my family, and my two boys are the apple in my eye. But the biggest struggle is employment, and what I enjoy doing in such.
The best video of yours I've seen. Eloquent and to-the-point. The essence of the philosophy modern men need to live sanely.
I think that's a part of what contributes to my chronic depression. My main view of myself has been three main things. "Useless", "Nobody", and "Thing". Why? Because I haven't yet proven I'm worth keeping around. I never got to develop an identity of my own because there were no opportunities to choose. I don't know who I would have been, but it would have been a hell of a lot better than this avoidant, dependant, subhuman, freak I ended up being. It's honestly starting to drive me insane. Not like in a metaphorical sense. I mean "hallucinating feral dogs" insane. Of course that just adds one more nail. I ended up going two years without feeling emotion because of this, and I'm not going back to being that monster.
just watched his video and you are right he is pretty spot on. he focuses on identity, as you do, but another facet of this is purpose, and perhaps the only other major facet is control. almost everything he talked about applies to all three, with a few nuances. definitely a video worth watching.
RGE, you always make good common sense points, and common sense seems to have gone the way of the Dodo and dinosaurs in many people nowadays, its like a creeping insanity that can grab you at any time. Its difficult sometimes to be strong and not let people judge and villify you for their own ends, but if you fight back, tell them to go to hell, you are ok in my book.
Thanks for listening!! ;)
Cheers!
A very good point. I also read a piece by a psychologist specializing in helping soldiers adapt to civilian life is that when they are in the military and deployed, they are surround 24/7 with a crew who "has their back". When they get into the civilian world, they constantly feel a deep vulnerability, because here at home very few people have your back and you are not with them constantly. In addition, many get addicted (for lack of a better word) to the structure of the military life and find it hard to create their own structure.
Just finished a couple of Thinking Ape's videos from 2014 before seeing this on my feed. Fits in with alot of what he was talking about, namely self actualization, without seeing yourself as a utility. Good times.
Wow this is deep bro and this is coming from someone who is a very old soul beyond this life. From someone who is very connected to the universe. Another point I want to being up is we are all one and more people are waking up to this and how we effect each other. If you know someone who feels they are loosing identity help them find themselves don't abondiend them don't condemn them.
Our inaction makes everyone suffer
"I Am Me" ~ Kakurine, Evil Zone
That line has lived with me for years, and it's a simple but no less real truth.
Dude u are amazing. This healthy thinking is what so many people need in the time we live in. (Or any time we will live in and people after us) Thank you for being honest.
You are everything you have ever been, every decision you've ever made, and every success and failure you've experienced. None of these things will ever fully define you, it is the combination of these things that make up your sense of self.
"Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at."
I would say you are you. Do whatever you want to be happy.
For me it's writing stories and having fun creating worlds
In such cases im very thankful that im a simple man.
Good food, games, anime, my peace and freedom. Damn im happy like hell.
And i learned 3 careers, had a construction company for 12 years.
i think most of this guys didnt have much choice their entire life and got to comply midterm to their role this hard, they never thought they would come back to a choice for their life.
Open your eyes, ask yourself what do you enjoy the most, make a list of the top 10, than do it! Take your time, make a vacation and think about stuff you like to do.
And than start doing things you like, you hit the jackpot when you find something you love and earn money. there you go...
This is a great thing to watch while having a nice alcohol buzz. Nice when I'm sober as well.
Good video. Eye opening. Keep the videos coming brother. Always helps when people take look at things in a different angle.
I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with the things I love but if i had the option to leave everything behind and stay there for ever I would.
the only criticism i have is you should use draw stance more as BM. press tab and hold RMB. You can also use Pheonix wing (V) and while in draw stance press blade storm (X) and hold rmb for insane damage for like 15s.
LEL good video like always of course
I figured that out ages ago. If you looking for a purpose your purpose is your talents and the things you enjoy.
I faced the same problem after my first huge heartbreak and i found similar conclusions. After all i still enjoyed the things i did, things like listening to my favourite songs or watching the shows i liked, playing video games, eating tasty stuff. Those little things are worth living for.
Reasons for men to live - lift weights, go running through forests with a dog, climb the north face of the Eiger, read history and philosophy, get proficient at online chess, jump out of planes, surf or ride motorcycles, drink beer and eat meat.... ffs, every man worth his salt has a reason to live.
Too bad this isn't taught to younger people about this sort of thing. But it's a good thing the internet is here with the content creators that are bringing this up to help people find self actualization and happiness within themselves. I always finding an interest in other things that I never imagine to be interested in. I love to learn new things and diversify my interests just in case I start to lose the passion or it's been taken from me.
I like how the military handles it in Germany. In Germany we have these informacials for leaving the military. Like there is a building full of people who give you advise in what you can do after the military. Some time before you are scheduled to leave they also send you letter with an invitation for a informative talk. Also the military gives you specific founds that are to be used for further development to then work in civil work later. Like for example, I went for 21 months and got a 2100$ budged for further development. When you go for 4 years the military will give you special other budged as well as they will pay you 100% of what you earned during your last month for one year, if you go to university for example.
Also universities give you a bonus to your application if you did military (or civil) service and 1/10 of all government official jobs (like Police or bus drivers, etc. The jobs you can't get fired from except if you fuck up majorly) are reserved for veterans.
German military invests extreme amounts in getting the veterans back into a functioning civil life.
RGE you are such a wise man. I hope you realize all the good your advice gives men.
I thankfully found my sweet spot a long time ago. Creating/writing stories/worlds and music.
I suspect it is due to that I have never really experienced real amount depression or serious suicide thoughts.
I have too much to live for, too many worlds, stories, characters and music I have yet to put on paper that in all honesty I will no doubt die of old age (if we don't find the cure for ageing before then) before I have a chance of getting them all out of my head.
Not to mention I love science in all its form which is the reason why I am a student in M.Engineering. I want to take direct part in improving some of our tech in regards to artificial limbs and such. :D
In all honesty, I suspect that *this* is the reason why Iceland ranks so high regarding happiness. Even considering our geographical location.
We are supported by our parents (and society) to take whatever path we so choose rather than being pushed into a specific path... though I would say that the Fins are still a bit ahead of us there. :P
This is kind of tough for me. What I want to live for is partly hobby partly job. For a long time I was kicking through life very unmotivated. I had done some cool stuff by some standards, but ultimately I was unsatisfied. Then it all changed. The first time I put on an HTC vive VR headset I said sold and started a game studio with pretty much no prior experience in game development. I want to spend my days creating new worlds and stories for people to more or less live through. I see the industry is going to grow, but I don't want to work for AAA because we all know what that looks like. So i'm stuck spending my days right now grinding part time jobs to then come home to teach myself every aspect of game development till the wee hours of the morning. I don't really make enough income to support myself if I were to leave my parents basement and if the industry collapsed all together then I don't have a degree or really any meaningful fall back plan. I can't see myself doing anything other than this type of work. I can't stop to add room for a fall back plan because its a rat race in the industry right now. If I take time to go to college for a degree I don't have time to make games because I have to work to pay for the college that might not even get me anywhere. I feel really trapped in this narrow pocket of possibility. I don't have money enough to get out of my situation, my skills aren't developed enough to be hirable, my portfolio isn't impressive enough till I finish more projects, I can't finish things faster because I can't pay people at the moment (other than the super rare contractor I might find). I put all my time into this to the point where my friendships are disappearing, I don't play video games for fun other than when I am researching something, and when I take time to watch anime like I love doing I end up beating myself up later because i could have spent that time teaching myself or developing. I'm starting to burn out bad, but I'm still pushing forward toward this dream. I need this. Anything less and I'll be stuck thinking about this till I die. I can see a lot of options as to how to possibly grow, but all of them are high risk even if it just means time wasted. I wish I had someone in this journey with me who's as motivated as I am.
Then that's where the identity thing comes in. I've been looking through a lot of my old stuff online and in boxes where I live. I was so different. I looked happy and I did things for reasons I don't understand anymore. I use to be a tan, avid fitness dude and I would go outside to do parkour. I don't even see the sun for almost a week at a time now. I still think of things like that as part of who I am, but when I look in a mirror I don't recognize myself. My face always looks like i'm in pain. I've developed severe social anxiety and I can see I'm falling apart in most aspects of life. Depression hits really hard when I take my mind off of my end goal for even a little bit, but keeping my mind on it is causing me so much stress my hair is actually thinning (though that could also be from my diet of coffee and not much else) The more I stay out of society the less appealing most things become to me. I AM OBSESSED with my end goal and I'm ok with that, but I'm not ok with losing who I was before. I use to be very compassionate and had great patience. Now I have a short fuse, especially towards stupidity, and I'm kind of calloused in a way, sort of. I've been stripped of all these layers of myself that I have only now come to appreciate and I've this very raw version of my core self. I don't know what to do here. Giving up my goal IS NOT AN OPTION. Thinking about stopping makes me start to go into a panic. I meditate dude. That's not a good sign that I still feel this way when I take the time to freaking meditate.
How is a guy supposed to chase his dream when there are damn near no avenues to support him without already being so good at your craft that it instantly draws attention? My reasoning is I need a team of people. I seriously can't think of another answer. With the speed that technology advances, my skills will become obsolete unless I keep educating myself so where do I get the time to do EVERY JOB ROLE in developing a game? Grinding multiple jobs to pay people to work on the game defeats the purpose of all this. How do you get funding for something like this when it's so new and I'm not a stand out in the crowd? This probably would have been a lot easier if I was 10 years older and I had a background somewhat related to this field and a decent enough paying 9-5 job. I'm 23 and I'm fucking freaking out. Advice?
I'm lucky, I guess. I spent 14 years in the Navy, but about 2 years in the internal politics kicked me in the nuts, and I quickly burned out. I just went through the motions afterwards for the job security, until I was coming up on my career's end, and realized I didn't want to invest the time and energy to an organization which fucks over people for the group's appearance. So, I never bothered trying to go for the next rank, got out even after the Navy said I could now stay in 16 years, and have been enjoying some nice time off. Because of how bad my body is after my stint, I get a decent disability check, and thus could likely live alone in the right area off of only a part-time job, and still be fine.
And this is all thanks to me not keeping being a sailor a core part of my identity. Well, plus how much of a mangina I potentially could've been had the wrong woman decided to use me in my youth (I'm too old and wise now for that to work, though).
Reason to live? Just live, for that tiny bit of FEEEEEELLLLSSS
There's no escaping reason, no denying purpose, for as we both know, without purpose we would not exist. It is purpose that created us, purpose that connects us, purpose that pulls us, that guides us, that drives us; it is purpose that defines, purpose that binds us. We are here because of you, Raging Golden Eagle.
I ended up making a resolution this year was to start taking B Complex more regularly. I have to take it sublingually as a liquid and then spit it out due to ulcers. But alongside Vitamin D3, its turned a depression stopping me from doing things I wanted to do, into a small, ignorable, manageable background feeling that something is off, so I'm totally prepared for when Days Gone comes out.
There really is something to the whole "meaningful existence" thing. We're biologically programmed to not only reproduce but also to live for the family. It sucks, but it is an uphill battle to break that conditioning (insert Alex Jones screaming here).
I've had a little bit of a different upbringing so the idea of taking care of some shit-spewing raisin-skinned scream machine doesn't appeal to me and the cuntflaps I live near are just homely looking, average looking at best. If I could get a T1 line installed into an air-conditioned cave in a mountain I would. All through my life I've had a backlog of games to finish due to not getting them and/or not having time to play them, so I'm good for the next few decades.
And of course if you need emotional companionship, adopt a pet. Seriously, if you like running get a dog, if you don't, get a cat. If you're cool get a lizard, if you like brainless feathery assholes who screech at you to get up every morning get a bird, if you like having a brainless feathery asshole remind you of the words you say too often and you're okay with your dad teaching it to quack like a duck get a parrot, and if you're extremely lazy get a fish or two or fifty.
Fishing is a great hobby. Not fishing for sustenance, but for the sport.
Live. Laugh. Repeat. Not the best way to live, but it's how I get through the day.
I'm just living to see the robots rise!
That's kind of like wanting your kids to replace you if you think about it!
That technology is growing up so fast... :')
I do the same thing as you RGE but I would say my career not my job is my identity. Even if I lose my job, I would still be an engineer. Until my brain fails I will always be an engineer. For you it seems a means to an end and I can understand that but for me I'm more happy solving a software problem than defeating any boss in a game. I'm trying to put down your perspective just making a point their is a difference between your job being your identity and your career being your identity. I'm know plenty of soliders who saw themselves as protectors and became police officers or fire fighters after the service.
I may not have been in the military but this gave me food for thought, ty
Caring for my birds kept me alive when my wife abandoned me. Nowadays it's nice to play Fallout 4 and I am going to try to write science fiction novels.
Don't forget to exercise, too
I am whoever I choose to be. And, I thank god for the ability to do so.
But you can't get there until you stop caring about the approval of others. And, I am not talking about the teenage rebellion. I am talking about the big ones. Today, those are the labels like "racist", "sexist", "homophobe", etc. Those are straight up controls on your thoughts, beliefs, and even your identity itself. Shaming men for being "losers", etc. if they aren't a utility and sacrifice for women and society's use, will always be a huge control on men by necessity. But they aren't the biggest set of controls/chains today.
Each society develops it's own set of chains they shackle your identity to. The problems come when those who carry the responsibilities, accountability, and burdens, aren't the ones deciding what those chains and shackles are (I.e. aren't the ones with the rights, choices, and power). Then you get slavery because it cost those NOT bearing the responsibilities/accountabilities/burdens NOTHING to impose ever more chains on society (because they aren't the ones that will bear the burdens of them). That is what we are seeing today with all this victim warfare (women vs men, non-whites vs whites (in white countries), etc.).
We see women using men's sex drive (and general desire to please and placate to women as a mating strategy) used against men for these reasons. Just like we are seeing women, who men have GIVEN equal power, TAKE evermore power from men by using the identity men developed against them (i.e. men are the ones who bear the responsibilities to provide everything, sacrifice and protect, etc). We even see this with non-whites using the identity white men created for themselves against them (i.e. whites bearing all responsibility for ANY inequality.).
When the group that bears the responsibilities shares power with those not bearing responsibility, they will ALWAYS use that power to add more chains, and take evermore from the group that bears responsibility....using the very identity that group created for itself to do it. It's like saying "we are all equals", but not when discussing rights vs responsibilities (then one group will claim victimhood to get the rights and exempt themselves from the responsibilities). At that point all identities that your group created for itself are no longer valid....are indeed now destructive to your group....and need to be abandoned.
to bad I didn't get this advice when I was younger. my enjoyment of unhealthy food caused me to have high blood pressure which was unchecked which lead to my kidney failure. now I have to rely on someone when ever I get my treatment (3 days a week). I am so weak after, that I am unable to do anything. Yet my mother and brother (whom I live with) still expect me to pull my own weight on those days.
I did my 5 in the corps and got out. I spent over half a year back at my parents house day drinking, playing vidya, and watching anime. I’m doing better now, have a decent job and a place to call home. Still feel so damn empty though, anything I have to do that isn’t one of my hobbies like a waste of precious time. Even hanging out with what few friends I have, as they don’t really share any of my interests. It feels like all I do is work, eat, sleep and play vidya. I’m not depressed, just feels like I’ve been on autopilot for the past three to four years. Kind of like the movie click, and I barely remember any of it.
In the age of sail the military was a right of passage to escape the terror of domestic problems of the time.
We're shifting towards a society where people are defined by what they enjoy rather than by what job they do. Older people almost always introduce themselves by saying "So what do you do" but almost never see that now. Now it's, so "what do you like" or some question about interests. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. We're probably going to see our society to decline because of this but people will probably also enjoy themselves more.
Can't say I agree with you entirely on being loose with an identity. The entirety of an identity shouldn't be tied to one thing but that doesn't mean one shouldn't fanatically defend something that's key to their identity.
Show less
I think political identities are going to become a much bigger thing with the decline of "careers". I'm honestly just in it to see how the world unfolds and this growth of political consciousness is making things fun as hell.
REPLY
RGE i love your content man, you're a guy who's got a lot figured out. what would your advice be for someone who's already fallen into the "whats the point why am i here" mentality so far that ive just stopped really caring about anything. yknow the general hobbies are boring i like being completely isolated a lot my grades are pretty much all failing, the works.
If you are that bad, then it could be actual depression. Which means professional treatment
Take a hike to a mountain and jump off?
Yeah, this is what I've found about the guys processed out of military service. Self identity is what gets you through some tough shit in life. Taken away or lost, men drift into some bad situations that can simply destroy whatever they've got left of themselves.
Most who join the military seem to do so right out of high school. I can imagine that going into college or military probably works pretty well because it continues to offer a structure to their life to follow. But then once they get out they end up pretty much in the same position as someone who graduated high school and did not join the military or go to college and they don't know where to go from there, just like a freshly graduated high school student.
I notice their is a similar sort of identity issue with former convicts. Being a prisoner and having your every move determined by the rules (both set by the wardens and the other inmates) becomes their whole identity. So when their debts to society have been paid and they aren't prepared for how to adjust back to normal life (especially when they've gotten into the system very young) they either kill themselves or more likely commit another crime so they can go back prison and an environment where they know how things work.
In the prepper communities we always talk about "those who lack the will to live will die early", but people rarely talk about what their reasons are for being alive. If a person's identity is rooted in false concepts, or they live for a mask provided by another, well, that's paper thin at best. Malleability in identity allows for change, and for healthy people that identity changes as we grow older.
The question is not "Why are we here?" but to me it's "We're here. What are we gonna do with it?" As long as you're not physically harming anyone, you can do whatever you want. I don't count insults because offense is taken, not given which means that it's completely arbitrary when someone becomes insulted. A man is at his element when he's creating and living with the things that he loves. So find the things you love and build your own home.
MGTOW since 1996 here. Believe me, I know that "what do i do now" feeling very well. You need to find those interests for yourself. For me It was just learning new things all the time. So ............. I did. I became an auto technician( Miami), and when I got bored of working in that , I became a heavy machine operator. Then a Realtor in long island. Then a carpenter in San Francisco, electrician, plumber, tile installer, Kitchen and bath remodeler, Bought and sold some real estate(flips), Gold panning and sluicing in the Sierras. In short you are free to go anywhere and do anything, One day i just thought of a place I may like to go, looked on line for job offerings, called to see if they were interested and let them know i would be moving for the job from out of state, fly in for the interview , get the job , find an apartment and go. Nothing like starting new in a new place, what an adventure!
Thanks for your massage, like always after I listen to you I think to myself, you he's right about that how come I didn't see it
We need to end the program of grabbing an 18 year old for 4-6 years spending tons of money on training them, only to throw them back into the world with no marketable skills.
A better system would be requiring servicemen to join the national Guard first and letting them have a normal job or education. After 4 years of that, they will be able to decide whether they want to spend 20+ years in active service, or just stick to being a guardsmen, with a normal job and family. Or they could get out entirely.
Or just implement an exit program in the last 2-ish years of their stay in the military.
Raging Golden Eagle I'm not sure what the exit program would do, but we would still be losing people with skills that cost a lot to develop.
Before WW2 people joined as their careers. If we went to war and needed more men, enlistment bonus were handed out for volunteers. And people were drafted if that wasn't enough.
thats called the draft
Raging Golden Eagle still being awesome, as always.
Oddly enough, Eagle and Gold is partially my real name.