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Karsten, I *STRONGLY* recommend that you watch Morbius. It’s hacked to the fucking bone in the edit, features some of the most bizarre decisions I’ve ever seen, and has the single most head-scratchingly insane post-credits scene disaster in the history of the genre
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You missed the best part about the cat. It’s not her cat. It’s a stray cat that comes through her window and she gives milk to, and says “Us strays have to stick together.” Like who signed off on any of this 😭
Madam Web literally took the plot line from “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” where Holly shows how much she loathes relationships by not naming her cat, so she calls it Cat and feeds it everyday. It’s an important plot line to slowly show her vulnerability as she cares more about Cat, especially when it runs away and foreshadows her initial distance and eventual openness to her main love interest. That being she accepts she wants to BELONG to someone as she wants Cat to belong to her. I’m genuinely PISSED that Madame Web took such a raw ORIGINAL idea and then literally LAZILY dumbed it down to a “us strays got to stick together” throw away line to show literally NOTHING 🙄 THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING THIS !!!
the thing that frustrates me most about this film is that the concept of a fire paramedic - heroes in their own right - becoming an actual superhero is honestly pretty interesting, because they might have a different mindset about their duty having already worked with such high responsibility. and then the concept is completely wasted on whatever this is lol
When I first saw an ad for this movie I thought it was a satire of superhero movies, then I saw Marvel in the corner. This movie is so bad I thought it was satire…
the writing of this movie feels like the writers forgot this was gonna be a movie. like the script only works when it's on paper, and even then its bad 😭
I feel like every day on set, somebody whether it's the writer or sound people or boom operator or catering people or the cleaning service held up new script pages and be like "we wrote this, it has nothing to do with the movie but we're gonna perform it on camera" 😂 This movie felt like it was made during the writers strike despite that the movie was made way before the strike happened
@@ConcerninglyWiseAlligatorSometimes there can be a miracle from bad writers. I mean the guy who wrote Chernobyl and The Last Of Us previously wrote a ton of bad spoof movies and the two Hangover sequels, so you just never know man 😂😂
Do they explain how Tahar Rahim stays the same age over time, even though he was in the Amazon with her mother researching spiders right before she died, and she died giving birth to Dakota, and Tahar is only 8 years older than Dakota?
Unless i also missed it no- i chalked it up to the spider powers cause honestly what else? It struck me as super odd too cause they age him up in the vison of his death (maybe a little older then what i would've thought his current age be) so its not like it wasnt thought of.. maybe the makeup team quit half through so they couldnt get the rest of the shots xD
i saw that felt immediately confused. i was born in 2003 and my thoughts were "no way does he look my millenial siblings from 1973 to 2003". i feel as though cinema is late to the y2k trend and tried to set it in the past to get people hyped for seeing at era. however, they put no effort into actually replicating that era and it feels like im watching something set right now, or in 2016. doesnt matter!
@PopeyesEnthusiast you can tell when a movie hasnt even bothered to google something. my parents were born then and had kids by 2003. You're telling me the fashion is the same now as it was 20 years ago? these high budget films are a joke
Maybe it's the spider Powers making him look younger. I mean, they can cure people, so making them younger would be that strange - and the others spiders ( from amazonia) Also stayed pretty young too.
@@troubadour723Dakota Johnson was brilliant in Suspiria. A bizarre, terrifying, brutal horror movie. She’s a great actress but I think she’s going for the big paydays.
I'm beginning to think that Sony Pictures should just let the animation department to do superhero movies. Of course, they would have to appreciate them and not exploit and abuse them.
I feel hilariously bad for Dakota Johnson. From the recent press tour of this movie, you can just tell that she looked so absolutely done with the movie to the point that she didn't even care anymore 😂
The thing about the doctor telling her specifically to watch old movies is that it immediately cuts to her watching an old movie. It’s like the writer needed to think of a way to establish why she would be watching an old movie so they decided she would have to be instructed to do so by someone. Not that she could just like old movies or something. That would give her too much personality
this confused me so much, why is she talking to Scrooge right now? Even if it was supposed to be some allegory to her character it wasn’t a very good one 😭
The doctor scene was actually the most realistic (ive had a doctor tell me "just relax for a few days maybe turn on some sitcoms". This was in response to me being concerned of the aftermath of a heartattack) Speaking of the editing/camera work you def feel the confusion and distress during the "future glimpses" which is great but i can't tell if it's intentional or just a fortunate byproduct
There’s something weirdly experimental with the editing for the “flashforwards” scenes but it’s hard to tell whether it’s intentional or just bad editing that manages to feels a bit arthouse entirely by chance.
@@adammgolan Yeah, I know. I did a video on it. But even at the MCU's lowest, LOWEST points, I'd still take their worst material over most of the Sonyverse any idea. Like, their BEST movie is Venom.
I’m going to be honest, I enjoyed this movie a lot more than I enjoyed the Marvels. I think it was because I found it so hilariously bad that I couldn’t help but laugh at it, while the Marvels was just a drag to get through
I love how dakotq johnson just assumed this was in the mcu and either didnt bother to check what franchise this actually was or got misled by her agency. You can see her going through the 5 stages of grief throughout the whole press junket
Even Dakota Johnson stated that she thought that this movie wasn't going to be great when she had to react to fake explosions on green screens. She and Sydney Sweeney deserved better.
They knew what these bullshit Sony movies are like and they still signed on for a payday, don't cry for them. Especially Dakota Johnson who is a nepo baby that can't act. She's living a totally undeserved dream life that plenty of talented hard working actresses would kill for.
@@gabhrikerem I don't know if your comment means you want an explanation, but you're getting it anyway! It's a joke based on a meme born from Morbius. Where people would say that the best part of the movie is when Jared Leto says his catchphrase “it's morbin time!!!” No clue who started it or why, but it is hilarious
You actually have convinced me to watch this movie, I love the idea of a superhero who literally doesn't care about superheroing, it's all just life to them, lines like "I hope the spiders were worth it mom" and "hang on cat" are amazing and I need to see it in context
When the guy died in the ambulance after getting hit by that dump truck, i was like where was that dump truck going? It was going 60mph off a dock into the ocean?
Just for some clarity--I think we are in the warned phase of movies/tv/content in which the writers strike warned us about pre-during the strike itself. So I'm not trying to blame it entirely on that, but I do think it is something to consider with film right now. Rushed plotlines under studio greed, underpaid and undervalued writers tired at changes at a whims notice, the general lack of care in craft because of burnout, everything is catching up to us. HOWEVER, since the strike, we may be in for an upcoming golden age in 1-2 years. Just thought I would put in my 2 cents.
Yea producers literally tell what writers should right and put in. and then rewrite it multiple times. If the writer does not write exactly what the producer says they ge fired and career damaged.
Dakota Johnson just does acting as a hobby, she doesn't need this and she doesn't enjoy any of these characters herself. She couldn't name a single Tom Holland Spider-Man movie in a recent interview.
@@AL-lh2ht knowing the title of a movie is being an expert? You'd think she would at least watch the latest Spider-Man movies because she is the star of one now.
I agree that I _really_ don't think she even likes acting. I think she feels she has to be because she's a nepobaby. I _hard disagree_ about the movie titles thing. That entire segment was funny as hell.
Karsten, please watch Morbius. Imo it does lean towards the boring side of bad a bit but it’s genuinely astonishing how awful of a movie it is. I can’t wait for all of these terrible setup movies to climax in the “I thought this was satire” equivalent of the Avengers. By then I’m sure that the studio will catch on and it’ll be self-aware in the most B-MCU, least funny way possible, but maybe dreams do come true.
My favorite line from the villain is when he says, "Do you know how hard it was to steal all those things for you" 😭😭 I swear even though all the writing was bad, everything from the villain specifically felt AI generated or like they only had 20 minutes to come up with his lines before they had to finish the movie 😭😭
The single best thing to come from this movie is when I went to see Poor Things and they played the trailer for this and Night Swim in the previews, back to back, and both trailers used Bury a Friend and the ENTIRE audience noticed it and had a collective "are you kidding me" moment. More entertainment value in that moment than in the whole actual movie, I'm sure
Taher Rahim is a fantastic actor, he plays the serial killer Charles Sobrahj in “The Serpent” and he is absolutely spine chilling. It’s a real shame this movie tarnishes his reputation, his career has so much potential.
Oh yes he was great in that! I guess a lot of actors/actresses would jump at the chance for a role in any of these superhero movies as it might open up more roles and the pay rise of course…
I love how the release date lined up or was very near valentine's day while in actuality no couple would go see this premiere. With the saturation of superhero films ,with rarely good ones coming out, it feels like this movie's sole purpose was to be dead on arrival.
Seeing this movie last night was actually me and my girlfriends plan for Vday for WEEKS after we saw the trailers we couldnt wait to see how fucking bad it was and boy did we have a blast watching this absolute disaster
I dont think this movie will get a screening in 10 years. I don't think it's that kind of bad. I think internet now likes to have ''the new worst'' movie every now and then and Madame Web is the new one. Don't get me wrong, the movie is really bad. But it's not iconic.
When they said the movie is set in 2003, I think they meant to say they only spent $2003 on the movie because it feels like a low budget TV series not a fully funded production.
that's the kind of thing that could actually be pretty funny _if_ they lampshade it like a character hears it and asks, "really? 'cat?'" and she replies, "katherine." and then the other character insists _"kat,"_ and she realizes the problem but if it's not gonna be used then it's gotta go on the cutting room floor
i think my favorite part is when the ambulance crash happens and O’Neil dies, the camera zooms out at the end. It shows that the truck that hit the car is literally going 40 MPH off into the pond the road just ends. It sums up the movie pretty well.
I was inspired by this video and I had to see Madam Web. So I watched it last night. The movie ended and a women in the theatre said really loudly "Okay and.."
I’ve been having a hard month but all the reviews and interviews of madame web are honestly the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Might even go see the movie
Maybe "Cat" is a reference to Holly Golightly and her cat being named "Cat" in Breakfast at Tiffany's? Holly says that they are a couple of no-name strays, belonging to no one and surviving on their own? Honestly, if so, I would hate it because I love Breakfast at Tiffany's and would not want any association between those two movies haha.
Superhero movies have become as uncool in 2024 as hair metal was in 1994. And Dune is going to end up being the new Nirvana wiping the floor with all of them.
If you notice in the scene where the mom is giving birth to Cassandra in the water: the indigenous jungleSpider-Man guy is holding baby Cassandra in his arms… but if you look at the mom she’s STILL fully pregnant! Big pregnancy belly and everything. Either that was a total goof up or they’re saying Cassandra has a secret twin sibling.
Cassies mom: "This species of spider can give you insane super powers and is incredibly elusive and rare, the only evidence of their existence coming from a legend about a tribe of people living in the amazon with spider powers." 2 seonds later: "Found it!"
To be fair, I do call my cat "cat". Not all the time but certainly enough times where it's not weird for me to hear someone else do it. But yeah the movie is still horrible 😅
So I actually worked on Madam Web for several months. I work professionally in the film and television industry as both a shooting grip and a rigging grip. I rigged on this movie and it was a really great time! I was so excited to work on a Spider-Man adjacent project. I went to see it in the theaters last night, holy shit was that awful movie😂😂. It was fun to watch just to make fun of, and a few of the action scenes were kind of fun. Also I got snubbed in the credits so fuck Sony for that 😂
The best part of this movie is when Dakota asks Ezekiel what a buttplug is and then we get the full explanation from Ezekiel. Knowing the future don't mean you know about buttplugs, this movie is a testament to that! Brilliant movie
saw this because of this review and honestly was a great time. i can't believe you didn't talk about the "villain speech" that ezekiel gives to the random lady in bed. i was laughing the entire time!
The green screen is terrible bc the movie industry is grinding the SFX teams into fine powder. They're working harder than ever for virtually no money. What you're seeing is the results of people who have been worked to death.
i think i knew this was not gonna be the greatest when in a commercial one of the actresses said "my favorite stunt was lowering from the ceiling like madame web does in the comics. i BEGGED to have them add a scene where i do that and i finally got to do it" like. you had to beg for something so vital to the character.
This movie was made by aliens. It’s really the only way to understand the filmmaker’s choices. It’s like an advanced course in bad movies, every scene is bad in its own way with a lot to unpack
I was only open to seeing this movie because it didn’t look like a superhero movie, and I was excited to see an all-female team that didn’t feel like it was pandering. I had a fun time with it, it was definitely a funny-bad vibe for me. It kinda reminded me of Malignant (an actually good campy intentionally funny-bad movie)
What the movie got right: The camera that the mom is using is the Nikon F. It was the first SLR camera ever, invented in 1959 and produced till 1971. It was famous for being super tough, taken in all manner of excursions from the Everest to the Sahara and everywhere else. So it makes sense that the mom was using it in the Amazon. Yes I did research on this. 😅
she is a paramedic in new york city in 2003. 911 is never even alluded to, which is fucking insane considering NSA surveillance technology plays a major role in the film
The line delivery somehow gets worse after the climax of the film, everything does. A character asks her how she knows they ordered Kung Po chicken when she’s in smelling range and THEY KNOW SHE CAN LITERALLY SEE THE FUTURE
god it was gratifying hearing people also point out the villains audio and his mouth not moving, because god I though I was just going insane the entire time
Man, imagine if they’d just stopped at endgame and left the whole thing in like this, golden era. I know that’s an impossible scenario because, moniiiiiii, but wow, sometimes I just like to think about it 😢
A lot of people hated this movie. The bad dialog was mostly bad. But a lot of the janky camera work felt like a choice. Madame Web is disoriented by her own power, and the camera work is doing that. One point I felt sick, right in the moment madame web also felt sick on the subway. The way the future seeing powers had like 3 different layers of detail was super interesting. In the beginning, we see scenes layout with very little visual ques to tell she is seeing the future. Then, as she starts to realize something is up, it gets more disoriented. Peeking at the subway scene where she and the viewer is sick. Then what I felt was the act 2 climax of going back to the pool she manages to get full visions of the past. She's then mastered her power, and they only give small glimpses of what she is seeing to the viewer to keep tension. Then she reacts with superhuman speed to explosions and is totally in control of what should be chaos. You said her power reveal was lame, but I feel that ignores the full mastery of the future seeing powers in the prior scene. You're right, the multiple astroprojected bodies to help the kids do pull ups lame. That power could have been shown off in a better way. But overall, the dialog choices were my biggest problem with the movie and even that is forgivable. They were very on the nose. Madame web had character development in my opinion. I felt like calling the cat "cat" was also a choice. She doesn't like attachment because she never really had attachment growing up. This is showcased by her hatred of the baby shower, refusal to go to the funeral, and not giving the cat she feeds often a name. She grows to accept the kids into her life and feel as though they are a family. The biggest misstep in my opinion was killing off the captain guy in the scene directly after he was introduced. Audience needed more time to care before killing random guy #1.
As both a film and comic nerd (playing both sides maybe?), this movie goes to show that studio will do anything and reach anywhere to come up with comic book movie….except an actual fucking comic book.
Watching this movie gave the impression as if it was meant to be a parody of the actual film it was ‘supposed’ to be. They took the first draft and said, “Yup, this is the one!” By the end of it, I couldn’t help but belt out laughing in the theatre, it was just so unserious. I honestly feel disappointed for Dakota and Sydney because they are imo quality Actresses that were given awful scripts. Big yikes
How much did the DC comics pay this guy to criticize this movie? Because it seems like he did not even watch the movie. The cat(in the movie) was a stray not her pet. Hence the no name
Increasingly there seem to be more movies like this… ones that I will never watch, but enjoy watching probably double the run-time of RUclipsr reviews bashing them. Crazy. I feel rather sorry for the genuinely hard-working majority (crew, stunts, the army of poorly-treated vfx workers, the list goes on…) who help make these films, but don’t get to feel especially proud of their hard work.
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@Follow God:God loves you repent it will be worth it God bless you all💕💜♥️
A new installment in the soulless MCU panderverse.
It's almost as if they're doing this all on purpose to once again put people against eachother.
Karsten, I *STRONGLY* recommend that you watch Morbius. It’s hacked to the fucking bone in the edit, features some of the most bizarre decisions I’ve ever seen, and has the single most head-scratchingly insane post-credits scene disaster in the history of the genre
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Director said they picked 2003 specifically to play Toxic by Britney Spears
You missed the best part about the cat. It’s not her cat. It’s a stray cat that comes through her window and she gives milk to, and says “Us strays have to stick together.” Like who signed off on any of this 😭
Madam Web literally took the plot line from “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” where Holly shows how much she loathes relationships by not naming her cat, so she calls it Cat and feeds it everyday. It’s an important plot line to slowly show her vulnerability as she cares more about Cat, especially when it runs away and foreshadows her initial distance and eventual openness to her main love interest. That being she accepts she wants to BELONG to someone as she wants Cat to belong to her. I’m genuinely PISSED that Madame Web took such a raw ORIGINAL idea and then literally LAZILY dumbed it down to a “us strays got to stick together” throw away line to show literally NOTHING 🙄 THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING THIS !!!
sounds more like a 2004 catwoman homage from here 😂
The Movie is so illogical & nonsensical...
She probably lived on the 5th Floor, too..
or maybe even the 10th floor. 🤦 🐈
Omygod it's so bad it's hilarious😭😭😭😭
When you think of the people who obviously wrote this film, the lonely cat woman self-insert just makes sense.
Madame Web isn't a film, it's a performance art piece about why we need to stop making superhero movies
What would you like to see instead?
Or at least bad ones.
LMAOOOO
Yes!
@@troubadour723Turds in a puddle have more dignity than this film
the thing that frustrates me most about this film is that the concept of a fire paramedic - heroes in their own right - becoming an actual superhero is honestly pretty interesting, because they might have a different mindset about their duty having already worked with such high responsibility. and then the concept is completely wasted on whatever this is lol
that's what i was curious about, i wish we had another story that actually delved into this concept
When I first saw an ad for this movie I thought it was a satire of superhero movies, then I saw Marvel in the corner. This movie is so bad I thought it was satire…
no u didn’t wake up
Same here! I was actually kind of excited for a deconstruction of the genre. Turns out, it was just bad
it's not a marvel/mcu movie, it's insane the amount of people Sony has managed to scam with that logo.
It's Sony they put marvel on it to trick you to watch it
No you didn’t stop lying 😂
the writing of this movie feels like the writers forgot this was gonna be a movie. like the script only works when it's on paper, and even then its bad 😭
I think they purposely didn't make it well because they were barely given any time and some weak material to go with
Heard a rumor they used Ai for the script
I feel like every day on set, somebody whether it's the writer or sound people or boom operator or catering people or the cleaning service held up new script pages and be like "we wrote this, it has nothing to do with the movie but we're gonna perform it on camera" 😂
This movie felt like it was made during the writers strike despite that the movie was made way before the strike happened
What did you expect from the writers of Morb and Gods of Egypt?
@@ConcerninglyWiseAlligatorSometimes there can be a miracle from bad writers. I mean the guy who wrote Chernobyl and The Last Of Us previously wrote a ton of bad spoof movies and the two Hangover sequels, so you just never know man 😂😂
Do they explain how Tahar Rahim stays the same age over time, even though he was in the Amazon with her mother researching spiders right before she died, and she died giving birth to Dakota, and Tahar is only 8 years older than Dakota?
Unless i also missed it no- i chalked it up to the spider powers cause honestly what else? It struck me as super odd too cause they age him up in the vison of his death (maybe a little older then what i would've thought his current age be) so its not like it wasnt thought of.. maybe the makeup team quit half through so they couldnt get the rest of the shots xD
i saw that felt immediately confused. i was born in 2003 and my thoughts were "no way does he look my millenial siblings from 1973 to 2003". i feel as though cinema is late to the y2k trend and tried to set it in the past to get people hyped for seeing at era. however, they put no effort into actually replicating that era and it feels like im watching something set right now, or in 2016. doesnt matter!
@PopeyesEnthusiast you can tell when a movie hasnt even bothered to google something. my parents were born then and had kids by 2003. You're telling me the fashion is the same now as it was 20 years ago? these high budget films are a joke
Kinda like how on daytime soap operas, an actress would play a 30 year old character for 40 years.
Maybe it's the spider Powers making him look younger. I mean, they can cure people, so making them younger would be that strange - and the others spiders ( from amazonia) Also stayed pretty young too.
Both Dakota Johnson and Sydney Sweeney either need to fire their agents, or get better scripts. Don't even get me started on the villain...
Dakota did fire her agent lol
What would you like to see them do? Apart from this and rom-coms there isn't anything else.
You do know they likely got paid milillion/s for this right?
@@troubadour723 are rom coms and superhero movies the only movie genres to exist in your world?
@@troubadour723Dakota Johnson was brilliant in Suspiria. A bizarre, terrifying, brutal horror movie. She’s a great actress but I think she’s going for the big paydays.
I'm beginning to think that Sony Pictures should just let the animation department to do superhero movies. Of course, they would have to appreciate them and not exploit and abuse them.
… beginning?
@@bennett4789 Well, I began thinking this after the first Spiderverse movie. Because the live action stuff is just not good? Even the stuff I enjoy.
@@katherinealvarez9216their animation department isn’t that great either. Spiderverse movies just had the privilege of having Lord & Miller
How long until that goes the way of modern disney
@@pheunithpsychic-watertype9881 Well if Disney is in a new Dark age, that might mean another studio can step up. Who's up for a Don Bluth renaissance?
I feel hilariously bad for Dakota Johnson. From the recent press tour of this movie, you can just tell that she looked so absolutely done with the movie to the point that she didn't even care anymore 😂
She is sooo giving Robert Pattinson during his Twilight years 😂
@@LyraAurora She escaped from 50 Shades to Supsiria, but now she's back to Madame Webb
She said publicly that she’d love to do a sequel 😭
She’s been serving realness
@@elusivenova2918 I mean, if they want to pay me millions for a bunch of crap movies I'll show up too. I respect her getting the bag.
The thing about the doctor telling her specifically to watch old movies is that it immediately cuts to her watching an old movie. It’s like the writer needed to think of a way to establish why she would be watching an old movie so they decided she would have to be instructed to do so by someone. Not that she could just like old movies or something. That would give her too much personality
AND… she’s watching a Christmas movie in the middle of summer. Who does that??😅
this confused me so much, why is she talking to Scrooge right now? Even if it was supposed to be some allegory to her character it wasn’t a very good one 😭
@@delancywatching27 it was a horribly contrived allegory
This movie was my Morbius. I hope it makes a Madam Webillion dollars.
💀💀💀
Madamillion
Nahhh, Webbillion
madam web is super nonchalant in the comics too, but i feel like it doesn’t really work in film as well as it does in the comics
Cause in the comics she’s a supporting character not a main one.
The doctor scene was actually the most realistic (ive had a doctor tell me "just relax for a few days maybe turn on some sitcoms". This was in response to me being concerned of the aftermath of a heartattack)
Speaking of the editing/camera work you def feel the confusion and distress during the "future glimpses" which is great but i can't tell if it's intentional or just a fortunate byproduct
Jeez, I hope you’re doing alright now. Hope you got a better doctor too.
There’s something weirdly experimental with the editing for the “flashforwards” scenes but it’s hard to tell whether it’s intentional or just bad editing that manages to feels a bit arthouse entirely by chance.
the camerawork is just confusing 😭😭 some scenes look really pleasing to the eye but most look like they're straight off a laugh track sitcom
I can imagine Karsten sneaking into a hospital with a Doctor’s coat, and prescribing everyone to go home and watch old movies
I personally love the Sonyverse, because it reminds people who hate the MCU how bad things could actually be.
I still think it's reasonable to ask for better output from the MCU. They really lost focus while ramping up production without enough oversight.
@@adammgolan Yeah, I know. I did a video on it.
But even at the MCU's lowest, LOWEST points, I'd still take their worst material over most of the Sonyverse any idea. Like, their BEST movie is Venom.
Same thing overall but one has a different name
I’m going to be honest, I enjoyed this movie a lot more than I enjoyed the Marvels. I think it was because I found it so hilariously bad that I couldn’t help but laugh at it, while the Marvels was just a drag to get through
@@FrameDevice spiderversw exist which is really good
Need a full cinematic universe about cat the cat
I wang a collab with cat 🐱 and the alien cat from captain marvel
@@kingston4313 it would be the only captain marvel related thing that the fans wouldn’t be complaining about lol
real
I love how dakotq johnson just assumed this was in the mcu and either didnt bother to check what franchise this actually was or got misled by her agency. You can see her going through the 5 stages of grief throughout the whole press junket
Even Dakota Johnson stated that she thought that this movie wasn't going to be great when she had to react to fake explosions on green screens. She and Sydney Sweeney deserved better.
Sweeny hasn’t been apart or positively contributed to a good movie yet.
@Follow God:God loves you repent it will be worth it God bless you all💕💜♥️
They knew what these bullshit Sony movies are like and they still signed on for a payday, don't cry for them. Especially Dakota Johnson who is a nepo baby that can't act. She's living a totally undeserved dream life that plenty of talented hard working actresses would kill for.
I don't see why Dakota would deserve better. Like is there a single movie out there that demonstrates her having amazing acting abilities?
@@702Sinatra no, but her boobs have.
INSANE that the director of Madame Web also directed an episode of Succession, S1E08, "Prague".
It's her first time directing a feature film, maybe that's part of it
I cried when Dakota Johnson heroically and emotionally delivered the line "It's webbin' time!" Nothing could have prepared me for that moment.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 holly shit
god..
@@gabhrikerem I don't know if your comment means you want an explanation, but you're getting it anyway! It's a joke based on a meme born from Morbius. Where people would say that the best part of the movie is when Jared Leto says his catchphrase “it's morbin time!!!”
No clue who started it or why, but it is hilarious
Nah, this is way better of a line than any line in this movie 😅
You actually have convinced me to watch this movie, I love the idea of a superhero who literally doesn't care about superheroing, it's all just life to them, lines like "I hope the spiders were worth it mom" and "hang on cat" are amazing and I need to see it in context
that ad break transition was pushing it 😭
DCEU : "We have the messiest and terrible superhero cinematic universe ever made"
Sony's Spider Man Universe : *"Hold my beer"* 😂😂
Sonic spidermanless universe:
I bet they were too busy in the amazon with my mom, when she was researching spiders right before she died when they made this movie
Oh my god I'm so glad someone else brought up the fact that Ezekiel Sims feels almost completely ADR'd. I thought I was going crazy thinking the same.
When the guy died in the ambulance after getting hit by that dump truck, i was like where was that dump truck going? It was going 60mph off a dock into the ocean?
Just for some clarity--I think we are in the warned phase of movies/tv/content in which the writers strike warned us about pre-during the strike itself. So I'm not trying to blame it entirely on that, but I do think it is something to consider with film right now. Rushed plotlines under studio greed, underpaid and undervalued writers tired at changes at a whims notice, the general lack of care in craft because of burnout, everything is catching up to us. HOWEVER, since the strike, we may be in for an upcoming golden age in 1-2 years. Just thought I would put in my 2 cents.
Yea producers literally tell what writers should right and put in. and then rewrite it multiple times. If the writer does not write exactly what the producer says they ge fired and career damaged.
Dakota Johnson just does acting as a hobby, she doesn't need this and she doesn't enjoy any of these characters herself. She couldn't name a single Tom Holland Spider-Man movie in a recent interview.
Why would she need to be a expert on movies she was not involved with?
@@AL-lh2ht knowing the title of a movie is being an expert? You'd think she would at least watch the latest Spider-Man movies because she is the star of one now.
I agree that I _really_ don't think she even likes acting. I think she feels she has to be because she's a nepobaby.
I _hard disagree_ about the movie titles thing. That entire segment was funny as hell.
I can't name a Spiderman movie either...because life is too short to watch infantile shit.
@@Busha69 Life isn't too short for kpop though huh lol
Poor Dakota Johnson. Between this and the Fifty Shades trilogy, she seriously needs to fire her agent
and she did!
It's a tough life being a Hollywood nepo-baby.
@@troubadour723doesn't mean shit as long as you are a good Actress that all that matters
It's probably not everyone's cup of tea but I adored her in Suspiria.
@@troubadour723being a nepo baby ≠ being untalented
Karsten, please watch Morbius. Imo it does lean towards the boring side of bad a bit but it’s genuinely astonishing how awful of a movie it is. I can’t wait for all of these terrible setup movies to climax in the “I thought this was satire” equivalent of the Avengers. By then I’m sure that the studio will catch on and it’ll be self-aware in the most B-MCU, least funny way possible, but maybe dreams do come true.
Not seeing Morbius before this is like starting LOTR with The Two Towers.
My favorite line from the villain is when he says, "Do you know how hard it was to steal all those things for you" 😭😭 I swear even though all the writing was bad, everything from the villain specifically felt AI generated or like they only had 20 minutes to come up with his lines before they had to finish the movie 😭😭
“The cops don’t have this technology!!!!l got to me
The single best thing to come from this movie is when I went to see Poor Things and they played the trailer for this and Night Swim in the previews, back to back, and both trailers used Bury a Friend and the ENTIRE audience noticed it and had a collective "are you kidding me" moment. More entertainment value in that moment than in the whole actual movie, I'm sure
One thing I’ll give the film is that I do call my cat, cat when I scold her
Taher Rahim is a fantastic actor, he plays the serial killer Charles Sobrahj in “The Serpent” and he is absolutely spine chilling. It’s a real shame this movie tarnishes his reputation, his career has so much potential.
Oh yes he was great in that! I guess a lot of actors/actresses would jump at the chance for a role in any of these superhero movies as it might open up more roles and the pay rise of course…
‘One second, cat’ has me howlinggggggg 😂😂😂
I love how the release date lined up or was very near valentine's day while in actuality no couple would go see this premiere. With the saturation of superhero films ,with rarely good ones coming out, it feels like this movie's sole purpose was to be dead on arrival.
Seeing this movie last night was actually me and my girlfriends plan for Vday for WEEKS after we saw the trailers we couldnt wait to see how fucking bad it was and boy did we have a blast watching this absolute disaster
@@ryanfetsch5474 glad you and your gf had fun then🤣
Taking a girl to a movie you both wont be interested in, oddly, usually works out pretty well.
Dude, people do in fact watch moves around valentine's day
This was an absolutely hilarious movie to see on valentines It was so freaking funny
I dont think this movie will get a screening in 10 years. I don't think it's that kind of bad. I think internet now likes to have ''the new worst'' movie every now and then and Madame Web is the new one. Don't get me wrong, the movie is really bad. But it's not iconic.
An action That's So Raven film would be so fun though 😭
When they said the movie is set in 2003, I think they meant to say they only spent $2003 on the movie because it feels like a low budget TV series not a fully funded production.
😂😂😂😂😂
5:31 seeing the transcript for the movie turns out the cats name is actually 'Kat' but why they would choose that name out of all names I have no idea
that's the kind of thing that could actually be pretty funny _if_ they lampshade it
like a character hears it and asks, "really? 'cat?'" and she replies, "katherine." and then the other character insists _"kat,"_ and she realizes the problem
but if it's not gonna be used then it's gotta go on the cutting room floor
I heard that apparently Dakota Johnson had been pitched that this was an MCU movie and since then she dropped from her talent agency.
Karsten saying the beginning was randomly shot like succession for no reason is funny because the director literally was a succession director.
i think my favorite part is when the ambulance crash happens and O’Neil dies, the camera zooms out at the end. It shows that the truck that hit the car is literally going 40 MPH off into the pond the road just ends. It sums up the movie pretty well.
Reads title
Me: why yes the sky is blue
You have to watch the Beekeeper. It’s so hilarious. Every line is out of this world. It’s perfect
That film is amazing. We need a Beekeeper-verse. The setup is there, it could be incredible.
I was inspired by this video and I had to see Madam Web. So I watched it last night. The movie ended and a women in the theatre said really loudly "Okay and.."
I’ve been having a hard month but all the reviews and interviews of madame web are honestly the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Might even go see the movie
I've watched it a few times now that it's streaming...So bad it's good! Around this house, it's always "Webbin' Time"!.
I watched it opening day just to enjoy the quick reviews from content creators like you!
Maybe "Cat" is a reference to Holly Golightly and her cat being named "Cat" in Breakfast at Tiffany's? Holly says that they are a couple of no-name strays, belonging to no one and surviving on their own? Honestly, if so, I would hate it because I love Breakfast at Tiffany's and would not want any association between those two movies haha.
Superhero movies have become as uncool in 2024 as hair metal was in 1994. And Dune is going to end up being the new Nirvana wiping the floor with all of them.
If you notice in the scene where the mom is giving birth to Cassandra in the water: the indigenous jungleSpider-Man guy is holding baby Cassandra in his arms… but if you look at the mom she’s STILL fully pregnant! Big pregnancy belly and everything.
Either that was a total goof up or they’re saying Cassandra has a secret twin sibling.
Sequel?
@@ethanstrohm6628 if there is a sequel and they make it as ridiculously bad as this one I’m all for it!!
Oh yeah. I was going to see it, but the nearby theatre was playing Amelie 🤷♂️
Watch it instead. Infinite times better
Now THERE'S a movie.
id drop everything to watch amelie again 😭🙏
Cassies mom: "This species of spider can give you insane super powers and is incredibly elusive and rare, the only evidence of their existence coming from a legend about a tribe of people living in the amazon with spider powers."
2 seonds later: "Found it!"
A reminder that the director of this film, S. J. Clarkson, also worked on S1E8 of "Succession".
To be fair, I do call my cat "cat". Not all the time but certainly enough times where it's not weird for me to hear someone else do it. But yeah the movie is still horrible 😅
They should have just given this movie's budget to the people animating Beyond the Spiderverse
Babe wake up, new karsten just dropped
So I actually worked on Madam Web for several months. I work professionally in the film and television industry as both a shooting grip and a rigging grip. I rigged on this movie and it was a really great time! I was so excited to work on a Spider-Man adjacent project. I went to see it in the theaters last night, holy shit was that awful movie😂😂. It was fun to watch just to make fun of, and a few of the action scenes were kind of fun. Also I got snubbed in the credits so fuck Sony for that 😂
The best part of this movie is when Dakota asks Ezekiel what a buttplug is and then we get the full explanation from Ezekiel. Knowing the future don't mean you know about buttplugs, this movie is a testament to that! Brilliant movie
This movie feels like they turned one of those "Scary Movie" parody bits into a full film
saw this because of this review and honestly was a great time. i can't believe you didn't talk about the "villain speech" that ezekiel gives to the random lady in bed. i was laughing the entire time!
I swear I never see bad adr even when people tell me the adr is bad. But madam web was so bad with the villains adr that even I noticed. Insane.
The green screen is terrible bc the movie industry is grinding the SFX teams into fine powder. They're working harder than ever for virtually no money. What you're seeing is the results of people who have been worked to death.
This was one of the funniest movies I've seen in at least a decade. I kinda want to see it again specifically so I can laugh at it as a comedy
they made this movie so sydney sweeney could put on a spider suit
Can confirm as a cat owner I do call my cat “cat”, or gatita in spanish
I’m so confused how the same studio can be responsible for this and the Into the Spiderverse movies. Its mind blowing.
I love terrible movies and Sydney Sweeney equally, so I'm sure this'll be great time.
i think i knew this was not gonna be the greatest when in a commercial one of the actresses said "my favorite stunt was lowering from the ceiling like madame web does in the comics. i BEGGED to have them add a scene where i do that and i finally got to do it" like. you had to beg for something so vital to the character.
This movie was made by aliens. It’s really the only way to understand the filmmaker’s choices. It’s like an advanced course in bad movies, every scene is bad in its own way with a lot to unpack
I was a bit shocked that you said this was the worst movie you’ve seen since Swiped, and then you said you hadn’t seen Morbius and it made sense.
honesty it was the ending scene for me that left me laughing the hardest, her with the sunglasses and professor x demeanor.
The business model of the Money Toilet is alive and well.
I was only open to seeing this movie because it didn’t look like a superhero movie, and I was excited to see an all-female team that didn’t feel like it was pandering. I had a fun time with it, it was definitely a funny-bad vibe for me. It kinda reminded me of Malignant (an actually good campy intentionally funny-bad movie)
I’m going this weekend with some friends, and this actually has me looking forward to it.
What the movie got right:
The camera that the mom is using is the Nikon F. It was the first SLR camera ever, invented in 1959 and produced till 1971. It was famous for being super tough, taken in all manner of excursions from the Everest to the Sahara and everywhere else. So it makes sense that the mom was using it in the Amazon.
Yes I did research on this. 😅
in a decade we'll start getting videos about how this film is a "Dadaist masterpiece"
Your point on Ezekiels ADR problem, somebody finally said it! I noticed the same.
The way you analyzed Dakota Johnson’s acting style nailed it hahahahah
all of the bangers from last year, i had hopes for cinema. then i remember that marvel has a quota to fulfill
she is a paramedic in new york city in 2003. 911 is never even alluded to, which is fucking insane considering NSA surveillance technology plays a major role in the film
I miss the the times were spiderman was in spiderman movies
The line delivery somehow gets worse after the climax of the film, everything does. A character asks her how she knows they ordered Kung Po chicken when she’s in smelling range and THEY KNOW SHE CAN LITERALLY SEE THE FUTURE
god it was gratifying hearing people also point out the villains audio and his mouth not moving, because god I though I was just going insane the entire time
Why am I so excited for this now?
Man, imagine if they’d just stopped at endgame and left the whole thing in like this, golden era. I know that’s an impossible scenario because, moniiiiiii, but wow, sometimes I just like to think about it 😢
A lot of people hated this movie. The bad dialog was mostly bad. But a lot of the janky camera work felt like a choice. Madame Web is disoriented by her own power, and the camera work is doing that. One point I felt sick, right in the moment madame web also felt sick on the subway. The way the future seeing powers had like 3 different layers of detail was super interesting. In the beginning, we see scenes layout with very little visual ques to tell she is seeing the future. Then, as she starts to realize something is up, it gets more disoriented. Peeking at the subway scene where she and the viewer is sick. Then what I felt was the act 2 climax of going back to the pool she manages to get full visions of the past. She's then mastered her power, and they only give small glimpses of what she is seeing to the viewer to keep tension. Then she reacts with superhuman speed to explosions and is totally in control of what should be chaos. You said her power reveal was lame, but I feel that ignores the full mastery of the future seeing powers in the prior scene. You're right, the multiple astroprojected bodies to help the kids do pull ups lame. That power could have been shown off in a better way. But overall, the dialog choices were my biggest problem with the movie and even that is forgivable. They were very on the nose. Madame web had character development in my opinion. I felt like calling the cat "cat" was also a choice. She doesn't like attachment because she never really had attachment growing up. This is showcased by her hatred of the baby shower, refusal to go to the funeral, and not giving the cat she feeds often a name. She grows to accept the kids into her life and feel as though they are a family. The biggest misstep in my opinion was killing off the captain guy in the scene directly after he was introduced. Audience needed more time to care before killing random guy #1.
As both a film and comic nerd (playing both sides maybe?), this movie goes to show that studio will do anything and reach anywhere to come up with comic book movie….except an actual fucking comic book.
we are so fucking back
Its over😢
The Marvals: I’m the lowest Marvel movie of all time
Madam Web: hold my beer
Watching this movie gave the impression as if it was meant to be a parody of the actual film it was ‘supposed’ to be. They took the first draft and said, “Yup, this is the one!” By the end of it, I couldn’t help but belt out laughing in the theatre, it was just so unserious. I honestly feel disappointed for Dakota and Sydney because they are imo quality Actresses that were given awful scripts. Big yikes
I am so glad that I got a ticket for Lisa Frankenstein, and not a ticket for this repeat of Morbius (which is slightly worse).
How much did the DC comics pay this guy to criticize this movie? Because it seems like he did not even watch the movie. The cat(in the movie) was a stray not her pet. Hence the no name
I dont know how i dont know when i dont know why but one day i will be sitting and this movie will be playing
Glad I got a Madame Web ad before the video
I have two cats and I call them cat when they meow at me even though their names are Kiki and Ralph Glen
Increasingly there seem to be more movies like this… ones that I will never watch, but enjoy watching probably double the run-time of RUclipsr reviews bashing them. Crazy. I feel rather sorry for the genuinely hard-working majority (crew, stunts, the army of poorly-treated vfx workers, the list goes on…) who help make these films, but don’t get to feel especially proud of their hard work.
A friend of mine saw it and said its so bad, it makes Morbius look like The Dark Knight. I laughed so hard I nearly crashed my car while driving.