THIS is what it’s like to be in freeze
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
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Key Points
00:00 - What is a freeze state?
01:07 - Mentally
02:00 - Physically
02:43 - Relationally
When it comes to things I have to do for everyone else I force myself to get up and do everything for others, but when it comes to things I have to do for myself I'm frozen. 😭
I feel this 😢
This😊, keep going you got this. One love🌞
Me too. ❤
I relate, no intrinsic motivation
Yes, and overwhelmed is a state i was in in my early 20's and now im 55....ive done it this way my whole life. At some point i stopped being the person i was supposed to be.
When I'm in freeze, I don't even want to do something fun like watch a movie, play a video game, or read a book. All I can really do is lay there, maybe scroll on my phone endlessly.
same. nothing sounds fun, just empty
Same
So true!
Most the time I sleep the day and nights away
I don't even want to keep my eyes on the video. I just listen. I am only able to the toilet and the fridge to get a cold drink. My mouth is very dry from the medications.
This is incredibly validating. I was told I was lazy so many times! I wasn't lazy. I was exhausted from ill health, constant abuse from parents and spouse, no help, no way out, no future to strive for.
But lazy? No. Not lazy. Frozen. Traumatized. Exhausted from the relentless onslaught of abuse and neglect and being surrounded by garbage humans who lack empathy and accountability.
Thank you, Nicole!
I understand and going through this atm. Slowly working out of it. Take care ❤
You need to get away from the toxicity of your immediate surroundings. If your spouse is truly abusive, get away from him or her! That alone is a MUST!
Thats something i can relate to just constant onslaught of stress from all sides.
This!! I wish it didn't resonate so loudly with me. I feel this 100%
Far from lazy, my luvs. Every one of us has been using superhuman strength just to hold on. We’ve been working harder than anyone in “normal” circumstances can comprehend! Sometimes we’re under so much pressure, working so hard - invisibly to the untrained eye - that just writing a comment takes our last ration of energy.
When I’m in freeze state I feel like I can’t put anything in priority to do next, so I don’t do anything!
Can I be in "freeze" for years? Cause that's how I have been I think
Yes, you can.
Yes! Welcome to the club my Friend 😨.
High five. We are members of an elite group known as the Freeze Club.
I'm in my 40s, and I've been frozen since my teens. Yes, it's real, yes, it can last for decades, and no, it doesn't last forever.
Take care of yourself. All you need is a little break, a little ray of sunshine to melt all that ice inside you.
21 years now for me. Before that I would go in and out periodically, but since May 2003 it has been consistent 24/7. I spent years in therapy early on, trying to figure out what was going on and make it go away. I call it being deep inside my body, still functioning apparently normally on the outside but not fully present or connected on the inside. No one could understand the experience I was describing. I only just learned the term "freeze" a couple of years ago and am still trying to find a way to start thawing.
i know the feeling. i am close to 6 years now...literally frozen.
This happened to me when I became a foster mum. I thought it was depression but I wasn’t sad. I was just incredibly overwhelmed by all of the noise, the mess and the lack of support. I would wake up, do all the necessary things for my kids like on auto pilot and then as soon as I’d dropped them to school I would lie down and freeze until it was time to pick them up. I developed an autoimmune condition and isolated myself from my friends. It’s been 3 years and I’m finally thawing myself and feeling more control over my life but it hasn’t been easy to get here
What changes did you make to start to turn things around?
I had the same experience with foster care for a year and a half. Would be also interested to know what did you do to start recovering ❤
I’ve had this happen so many times… for me, I go into a freeze state most often if someone asks me a question that I feel like I HAVE TO get correct, or I’ll get “in trouble” (especially as a kid, but I’m still trying to get over this as an adult). Freeze also happens when I’m overwhelmed- even by simple chores.
It's a neurological stress reaction. We don't make a CHOICE to be in it. Our brains are overwhelmed with stress and perceived threat.
It is like we have lost so much of lives not even being alive and lost so much time. I feel that is something to be grieved especially when its many years gone by.
I completely agree, it is truly sad to think of all that wasted life
I was a people pleaser. If I just did everything for them, they would love me(childhood trauma). That doesn't work. Years passed, and I was getting exhausted. I tried to set boundaries, but no one acknowledged them. If I refused to do something, I only received more pressure. Plus I had a disabled husband and two young children, and I worked full-time as a nurse. Eventually, I collapsed with nervous exhaustion and was put in hospital. I had burned myself out. Not one of my siblings even visited. When I was discharged I distanced myself from everyone but my children. Years have passed, and my children are now adults pursuing their own paths. Enter Freeze Response. I don't want to do anything. My personal hygiene has suffered, I don't care about keeping a spotless well-run house, and I procrastinate EVERYthing. All I want to do is cozy in bed and watch RUclips or a movie. I make appointments(doctors, hair, dentist, etc) and then cancel them. And there is such a relief when I cancel, I can go back to bed. I don't feel depressed I just feel disinterested, and I don't care about that either. Time is flying by and I am 66 and I am missing what is left of my life.
Wow! You just described me! But I also have been sick from toxins for 21 years, and abused by my adult son last fall because he was on the wrong meds and became manic. I felt like I was in a war zone, and now I’m afraid to drive! I taught high school for 40 years and now I’m a fraction of my former self. 😢
Might look into adrenal fatigue/exhaustion. People who experience this say it helps to boost B vitamin supplements, potassium/magnesium, eat more meat (nutrient dense), less carbs. That will help you sleep better and that's when healing starts.
We health care professionals are the worst patients 😅. Girl, you are NOT the lone ranger. I'm 72 and retired because of arthritis, pain, and disability. ADL's are a thing of the past it seems. Cleaning house is such a low priority. Try prayer, meds, therapy and research psychedelics. There is still a life out there for us to live.
This is totally me. I thought I was getting Alzheimer’s cuz I couldn’t remember what I had to eat yesterday. I want to do things I enjoy, but I just can’t! I really thought there was something wrong with me. This is so helpful! I know I’m overwhelmed. I didn’t know it could cause this. Thank you so much! Can’t wait for your next video about how to deal with this. I always knew I grew up in a state of freeze. Didn’t know it still plagues me. Thank you.
I have spent so many hours incapable of moving from the couch. I have sat and cried on the couch because I couldn’t get off the couch. I am so afraid of making a fool out of myself that my body can’t handle it. I have very few friends and I rely on my husband for all of my social and emotional needs. I know he is exhausted. I am apparently frozen.
I actually was scrolling through RUclips videos when this video popped up.
Sitting on the couch hunched over looking at my phone.
Thinking that I was in a free state like she had said on other videos and try and do figure out how to get motivated to get stuff done today.
Body doubling is a technique from the ADHD world that seems to be helpful for some people in a freeze state. The timeframe has to be structured and follow certain guidelines, but I have been able to recruit others to help me, and used articles to explain sort of what I needed from them.
I feel stuck in freeze due to a traumatic experience. I KNOW and WANT to get things done and it's sounds good in my mind when I think about it but I'm just Stuck.
Same here. Every move feels like the wrong one so I just sit still stuck in freeze mode.
Hardest is the mental fog, where I feel unable to think things through.
Me too I've been trying to organize my apartment for eight years ! I don't even have the energy to look decent, I can't even where make up anymore, too much work, so depressing😢😢
I know. I can’t make “executive decisions”. I’m not paying bills that require phone calls because they screwed up, I don’t make doctor’s appointments because I’m afraid I won’t feel well that day, and I’m afraid to drive lately. My boyfriend/fiancé’ decided I’m too much trouble and I’m 40 minutes away, so he’s taking a cowardly way out and is ghosting me. Sad. He’s 72! You’d think he’d be more mature!
@@lynnbuczek8151 Omg! I could have written that, except I have a house I need to sell because I’m tiny, sick, and 69 years old. I can’t catch up and get rid of things here!
I definitely can relate it takes so much effort to think
I’ve been stuck on my couch, this whole week… not doing anything that I know I need to do… but only have the energy to eat and binge tv shows. Life feels so overwhelming at times that I just shut down.
That's very familiar to me as well.
Watched my mom transition in my home in 2020, Ruptured Ectopic Pregnancy in 2021, while experiencing a horrible, narcissistic relationship. Finally left in 22/23, and now, at this time in my life, I'm in this Freeze State. Since last yr, I stopped going on social media, but I find myself mindlessly scrolling on RUclips & not taking care of things around the house. I'm just feeling stuck, and I want out. I know life isn't going to stop, and I beat myself for not getting things done, but I've come to realize that I've had some very traumatic events happen back to back. I haven't always been this way. I'm learning to give myself grace during this process but I still need help.
Just your validation to the rest of us who hate ourselves for being stuck is a deep and kind gift, you have made life better for people you've never met with this loving gesture. Thank you!!
@@elkekirkpatrick6481 You're welcome! I'm happy to know that sharing my story can help others. I appreciate you so much! Thank you!
I could have written that as part of my problems!
Hey thanks. I was stuck in bed for two years. After leaving a domestic violent relationship I developed Araphobia. It's crippling.
I am trying to heal so I can live again. ❤
I definitely know that I’ve spent the majority of my life since early childhood in freezer mode. I don’t remember most of my 55 yrs on this earth, however. But. From what I can, until I started CPTSD recovery over a year ago, I was mostly in freeze mode. I still go into it sometimes because I’m always going to be a work in progress but it’s much better than before I started healing. Thank you for your video. It gave me more self-awareness which is a key thing to getting better. I related to all of your information 100%. Much appreciation for your work and sharing it with all of us who need it so badly. ❤
I’m just so tired. And trapped.
in the same mood......gets a bit boring
Hear that...the trapped part feels despairing...desperate. I hope that your and mine passes. I'm trying to be patient with it, as it seems likely to me that this is the feeling a younger part of me had, quite a bit, especially very early in life, and as they're from such a young age, it's an implicit memory, meaning that it is ALL a feeling/ sensations in the body, without visual or verbal context. The body is STILL (again)protecting itself in the only way it learned. Must have been tortuous, as that's often jow it now feels, and imagine my infant self, not yet capable of self-regulation, and thus "swimming" in fight/flight until eventually, freeze comes, and I therefore "fall asleep." Brutal set up for thr nervous system. Your comment inspired this..sharing, and I very much wish you the best. So far, I've found that body-based modalities are more helpful (still sucks), as the earlier the dysregulation, the more a bottom-up (be in the body) approach is more helpful than a top-down approach such as CBT. Bioenergetic Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Therapy, and Hakomi are the ones that I'm aware of. Yoga, as someone said is "always trauma-informed" (with a good-enough teacher), and also seems reasonable. TBest to/for you. You are not alone!
@@Eric-tj3tg sometimes all of the above can be a bit daunting but it always helps to hear we are not alone . Something like AA would be a good thing to start up for those of us that are affected .
@@user-dj4dl9pi7m There does exist an organization called ASCA (Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse) and they run groups. Unfortunately for me, in my area, the only one that's running is an "all female" group. The group leader asked that I consider leading a men's group. Not ready to do that yet. Maybe there's one in your area and this can serve as the "like AA" thing which you described. I agree that such groups might be very helpful. Best to you.
It happens to me all the time especially if I am being mentally attacked. And yes my motivation wilts and I can’t understand why? 😢
Entered into freeze state during pandemic and have continued and am now pretty much agoraphobic. Can't seem to do anything. I've been learning about narcissistic abuse from childhood. Im now 72 and don't want to live like this anymore!
Same here. I haven't been out the house in 10 months. I didn't know about freeze. I just keep thinking it will disappear just like it appears. But it's not happening.
@@Sheba8. Almost the same here. I’m now afraid to drive, and I have to go to doctors’ appointments.
Thank you. Eager for next week's video, but I wish it was attached to this one as I could use the information now.
I've been in a freeze state for more than a week.
I lost my EMDR therapist of 3.5 yrs last Tuesday. She experienced a significant loss and needed to take an indefinite extended medical leave. The owner of the counseling service called me to tell me this and gave me recommendations for other therapists. I was able to connect with one and I start with her next Wed.
The thought of starting from scratch with someone new feels a little disheartening, but I thought I was taking it in stride. I'm entering a new phase of my journey at age 62 and thought perhaps starting out with a new therapist from a place other than trauma bonds would be good for me. I reprocessed much of my trauma and am focused on creating a healthy and vibrant life as a creative entrepreneur. Hoping to get off SSDI and move to a town out of state that better aligns with who I am next Spring.
I thought I was okay because mentally I knew my therapist, Julie, was in a lot of pain and needed to take care of herself. I didn't feel any abandonment on her part, and I acknowledged the loss of our connection and her as a key support in my life.
I checked in with my younger parts and thought they were okay. I turned inward to feel any sense of grief and I shed a few tears for about 30 seconds, but then the tears stopped and I went about my day.
I awoke the next morning severely dysregulated. My entire system went into overdrive. Acute sensory sensitivity and overwhelm. My entire body and being felt like a raw nerve. I experienced meltdowns, blow ups, and the past 3 days have shut down, exhausted. Had to cancel appointments because I just didn't feel safe to be out in the world or around anyone.
I've been practicing self-care and listening to what my body and system need and checking in with my parts. I feel I'm slowly coming out of it but can accomplish very little. Haven't showered all week and it's difficult to cook a healthy meal. Mostly, I just veg out on RUclips and movies.
Anyway, sorry this is so long. I mentioned your channel to Julie and she said, "I know her well. She's wonderful." She has your books.💖🙋♀️
Don't worry about your post. There are still people who are eager to read more than a paragraph. Except for same personal details, I could have writen the same.
@@Lyrielonwind Thank you. 💖
Yeah this is kinda where I'm at except I've been making small improvements as far as taking care of daily chores, errands, personal hygiene and I've committed to walking my dog everyday. I'm finding it difficult to connect with others though, like I missed a call today from a friend and I can't seem to get passed the resistance to call back and now hours have passed. It almost seems like a chore to converse with others at this time.
it has taken me all day to motivate myself to get out of bed to eat a meal and brush my teeth. i had to do breathing exercises and talk to myself like a petulant child for half an hour to get my heart rate to calm down. i finally stood up some time after noon. i ate some instant ramen and then ended up doing jumping jacks until i couldn’t breathe so that my heart could race for a real reason. i made the mistake of going back to bed and have been lying here mindlessly scrolling for another five hours. i was supposed to drive a few hours to go home for mother’s day, but it looks like that isn’t happening. i still haven’t brushed my teeth or changed my clothes or showered.
Could your body possibly be telling you it doesn't want to "go home"?
I'm the very same. It's frustrating and confusing.
This is definitely me right now. I’ve been through so much trauma and have grieved so many things and people, my entire family, a daughter and 5 grandchildren I haven’t seen in almost 5 years. And now, I have to make the decision to put my support dog down. 😢 I do feel frozen because I’m worn out! Overwhelmed and I just feel totally misunderstood.
I’m so sorry! I know how hard that is. 🙏🩷
@@Tinyteacher1111 thank you!
I am currently in a freeze state. I constantly do for others for my job and then I constantly do for others when I get home. I’ve been sitting down unmotivated all day, and I hate it. I think the times when I wasn’t in a freeze state it’s because I was disassociating and finding myself being someone else. I don’t want to be here anymore and I’m going to try to do some meditation and grounding and basically force myself to take a shower. There are a few things I can get done this evening that I needed to get done today. Another part of the motivation of getting a few things done tonight is to make sure that I don’t do it on Mother’s Day tomorrow.
God bless you, been like this for years, caretaker burnout, it doesn't help that it's time to call Mama Dearest on Mother's Day. Sending compassion!
Narcissists and sociopaths like for their victims to be in this state. They inflict so much stress in their victims
I was even trapped for years in an unconscious mode that my nervous system was habitually changing into after the (sleepless) night (in a fully alarmed body) was over. Then I would wake up around 4 p.m., totally aroused and unable to work or think in that state, until late at night again.
Of course my self esteem went down the drain faster than i could notice and I felt like a total failure. Even the slightest thought of accomplishing a simple task, like paying a bill, made my nervous system turn me back into unconsciousness within a split second. It was sooo frustrating. The only thing that worked was getting away from home as far as I could - travel the world and after 3 weeks I felt alive and rested - eventually!
Thank you for talking about this . I always feel like I am in trouble, like how I felt when I was young . Even though now it has been many years past, my inner child still runs the show. At work I am perturbed how some people can be so chilled in situations that make my nerves frazzled and shot.
I've suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life as a result of childhood trauma and am currently on the road to wellness using TMS therapy along with maintenance skills. I suffer from crippling performance anxiety in the form of freeze that you speak of. When even the smallest amount of pressure is applied by the expectations of performance, I experience extreme anxiety symptoms that ruin any possibility of success.
You have my deepest gratitude. I have been stuck here for far too long & I'm tired of hating myself for it.
Me too.
Thank you for delving into this topic. Sometimes knowing things have to be done but not having the motivation to do them is overwhelming. Looking forward to your next episode 👏🏻🧿
It usually happens when I do t want to feel anything uncomfortable which is quite alot at the moment
Feels like I've been in Freeze my entire life
I have definitely been in a freeze state for many years, and unfortunately am aware. I just don't know how to get out of it. I feel like I am making some progress over the past year or so, but damn I wanna be free of this. 💗 Can't wait till next week! Thank you!!
My freeze state is avoiding other things this can sometimes be just really enjoying myself watching videos and content but …. Not making any progress on boring tasks, that aren’t even hard. For instance Easter decor is still out! Easter! Another freeze state is not starting a road trip to see family by doing a lot of side quests such as watering plants, sweeping, etc when I should be packing!
If it makes you feel better, I just removed the last Christmas decoration today.
You cannot cover this soon enough, thoroughly enough, or frequently enough. Please.
I was just thinking I need to get back to yoga to break out of this stage. It is driving me nuts!!! Let’s hope I get the motivation I need to get to the first class. I have a week to prepare. I can’t possibly be this lazy!!! Glad to hear it’s called something else.
I go back and forth between fight/flight and freeze. My current living situation (that I can't leave rn) is really stressful. I get angry a lot because I'm not heard/seen. This puts me in fight/flight. I want to leave/run so much in those moments. But in order to do that, I need to build an income and all that stress/anger then causes me to freeze. I can't focus, I become depersonalized and feel like I'm walking around in a dream.
My thought process becomes muddled and my executive function just craps out. I can't get organized, I can't prioritize, I can't focus.
I'm also sick now and I know it's from all the stress (or more accurately my reactions to it.) So working a job outside the home is pretty much impossible because of the nature of the illness. It involves digestive issues. I'll just leave it at that.
I have something I can do from home and I do it sporadically, when it 'feels' safe to and when he's not around. But it has to be consistent to build income and savings. Like I said above, the shut down of my executive function after a stressful event (which happens almost every day and a lot of days, more than once) has made it so difficult.
Thank you. Looking forward to next week.
Thank you so much for this vid 🙏
My freeze state is soooo frustrating. I know not to judge myself, but practically, in my life, I AM finally safe now, at this point in time. It's just my body hasn't accepted that yet (though things have improved - I'm not sleeping most of the day now...)
There's so much I want to do, things I've promised myself for years, but once that third eyelid descends, nothing 'cept doomscrolling happens. I don't feel tense or overtly anxious, just numb.
There is definitely fear of future 'grown up' decisions that need to be made floating around in all this. There's also that 'voice' that says, "Who do you think you are? You're a bad person and not entitled to go gallavanting off and enjoy yourself" !
Counting down until next week...
Thank you for naming it.
I am overwhelmed and under resourced 😭
My psychopath abuser taught me from earliest years to mentally shut down to prevent me from seeking justice and being able to communicate what he was doing to me. Eventually he didn’t have to trigger shutdown mode as I automatically went into it myself. I still struggle after 50 years. Trying to give particular details to authorities about missing girls and keep shutting down. It truly sucks to know that someone can exert mental control over you from the grave.
I’m praying for you to have a breakthrough. Let your ties be loosed and restart, refresh and let yourself forget what you are able. Allow yourself to heal, you deserve it. I recommend the book and study guide Healed and Set Free by Tammy Brown.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.
It is so very difficult to explain but whenever I experience any kind of physical illness or sickness, I tend to get mentally/emotionally "stuck" in my body and it does not cooperate... that feeling of being dissociated in a "spaceship" state feels ALL TOO REAL. Thank you for explaining something very complex in simple terms and in under five minutes! I wish more people understood how much I want to be normal and how often I find myself stuck in this "frozen" state. 😞
I was to sit and be still. all day. my mind is lethargic, and my body is too. I have a very strong will, and it will take a whole lot of self talk to get me moving, like right now I need to do the dishes. and vacuum. and write thank you cards. and feed my pets. and water my plants. and do laundry. clean the bathroom. research solutions to this or that. pack my bags for a vacation. call my Dad. I started to write the thank you cards, got overwhelmed immediately, grabbed my computer instead and opened youtube. your video is the first thing I've watched. Now I think I will take a nap! I slept 12 hours last night (finaly), I shouldn't need a nap... I feel burned out from my job. I teach Kindergarten, and the last 4 weeks were intense. Time to thaw... thanks for your videos and posts elsewhere. They help alot.
Try watching the Barefoot Motivator on RUclips 😊. I started walking at least three miles per day three days ago. I started at 3.6 miles and yesterday made my walk 6 miles. I plan to continue. If all I do is walk rather than freeze sleep or scroll then I may just stop freezing altogether. I think eventually I will say other than for quick recipes; why even use internet. What a better life I had without it, I used to run! I was fast and I loved it. I could escape. Walking has to start first (not barefoot for me) but I’m motivated by the videos on that channel! 🙏
@@heisrisen7961 I use to run, too. Thanks for the channel recommendation and walking suggestion! It does feel good, the gentle movement :)
@@laceymcgraw6571 that is great news! I will be praying for you! Who knows maybe we both end up gradually picking up running again! 🙏✝️🥰
i didn't know you knew me so well to make a video about me. :))) you literally described ME and everything i feel or do not feel. thank you. i thought i was ALONE and lost...
To me it's not doing things I actually like or even feel passionate about, bc I feel like I have to constantly be in a state of readiness to face the perceived threat (loss of job, loss of health, loss of people etc.).
So, I either have to wait until the level of anxiety decreases or the threat disappears, and/or jumping into what I like and what I know has also the potential to 'mobilize' me, such as exercise, dancing, going out into nature, meeting friends (a.k.a. coregulate) or writing poetry.
Kid me not, starting to do sth. despite not feeling it is always HORRIBLE in the beginning, but after a while it starts doing it's magic on its own.
This. obviously, doesn't always work, but it works more often than not.
Therapy of course can do wonders, too, but I'm not there yet to tell how far it can go the mile...
Lord i wish this was taught in middle school!
Any rude/mean or intimidating response from a person I trust puts me in freeze. Been like this for months now. How can I not crumble in such pressure
I spent a large part of my life in this mode. Consistently in that state of overwhelmed, with no resources to deal with it. Ive never heard of this.
Same here. What a relief to know.
Yes- when I’m in ‘freeze’ making eye contact with ppl is tough and it’s tough to have basic conversation .
TX for this video 💚
Happens to me regularly, though what worries me the most is some "stronger" freeze responses I get when I get some very specific triggers, with much stronger physical symptoms, I forget where I am and feel completely lost, I lose control of my body and mind... Would love if you can shed some light regarding these scary moments and how to try and avoid/deal with those. Thanks for your videos!
Yes it happens a lot. The longer I stay in it the worse I feel. I need to finish How to Do the Work!
Taking this state as if something is wrong with me, I ended up thinking that a don´t have the capacity to love something enough to feel the motivation to do it.
thank you again for your work
I remember when I worked in childcare for 18 years, I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I couldn't do a thing when I got home. I knew it was from work. When I quit work, I wasn't 100 percent, but better
I was just thinking how this may be my daily problem since childhood, and here you are with this video. Eager for the follow-up!
I become most affected when thinking how to respond to people via text/messaging, thinking at all about the amount of work I have ahead, or when any major change needs to take place. I never really understood trauma responses back then, of course, but honestly, placed being unmotivated upon myself first and foremost, ie. conditioning. It all makes so much sense now.
Thank so much @theholisticpsychologist for this upload.🙏🏼 Every bullet point resonates with me strongly. I realized yesterday that I’m still dissociating and escaping my body even though I used to blame it on substances (mostly cannabis). I was frightened to realized I still escape into a spaceship to borrow your analogy when I go on binge eating episodes. I tend to watch tv while eating and yesterday I was trying to remember the episode I watch and I couldn’t! It was exactly how I felt the next day after I had use cannabis or alcohol except this time I’ve been sober for almost a month.
Just this morning I also realized the complexity of feeling “alone” (intellectually I know we’re never truly alone) wanting connection, but at the same time loving my solitude and immediately thinking I don’t need anyone to come and disturb my “peace”. Even though I’ve been going through an emotional, mental and a spiritual internal battle.
I’m looking forward to your next video. Thank you so much for all that you do Dr. Nicole! May the Universe continue to use you and bless you.🙏🏼💗
You described it perfectly. Specially the feeling like you are outside of your body, reality feels dreamlike.
I need those tools to break out of it 🌈
When i get in freezes, I feel like I don't have any problems to solve and there's nothing that needs my attention even though there's very urgent things at hand like and exam and things of that sort. I just simply sit scrolling, staring at sky, and all types of random things.
even this video made me wanna take a nap - it's shrouded in shame
The tension is the most annoying part for me, as long as i can ignore the life crashing down around me aspect. 😅 The knots in my shoulders have been in pain for years. I have found one "neurological retraining" to show my body it is allowed to hold the muscles lower and it worked great! I wasn't able to find a practice that functioned in a similar way, to retrain the muscles around specific knots in my shoulders and neck, though. So i keep stretching but it doesnt seem to do very much.
It takes me all day to "get up and get going," and some days it takes me eight hours to do fifteen minutes worth of tasks.
I only feel lonely when I'm around other people.
same here...
I am really looking forward to the next video. Even in previous therapy, without really Knowing about the freeze response, when they would ask me about flight or flight, I always said that actually I wouldn't do either, I would just freeze. No one seemed to know what to do with that. I can sit for hours "wasting" time. It's so hard to get up to do anything. Even when I do "make" myself do it, I rarely enjoy it. I don't enjoy much of anything any more, even things I really used to.
This is absolutely 💯 correct for me. Your video explained everything I've been going through for decades. These past few years were worse than I have ever been before...
More intense as I'm autistic & adhd.
Decades of being in fear, without my double diagnosis as it's a late diagnosis of autism and 5 years later of adhd at 55.
Particularly limiting and cruel.
well this looks a lot like me tbh... i got very low motivation, i feel lethargic, im constantly watching youtube to escape, im disconnected, im basically laying in my bed...
and sometimes its worse, sometimes i feel completely shutdown mentally and physically, almost like im just not here in the world rn and im off to the moon or mars or something and getting up to do anything puts me in mood swings, sometimes violent, sometimes depressive...
I subbed! You’re the first person to accurately describe my life! It’s a never ending loop of guilt and shame. Wretched!
Thank you, I have felt like this for years, I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. Now have a word for it.
I’ve been stuck in freeze since high school. The last three years have been the worst, after coming out of a narcissistic relationship.
I feel lazy when I'm in freeze. So much to do but I can't get as much done as I used to. Looking forward to next week's video.
Thank you for this and all you educate me on. I can share with my family to them understand too
Thank you GREATLY for the work you do. Your video about healing the mother wound gave me essential understanding of the processes I've been going through. (Yes, while being in therapy).
The information gives me access to self-understanding, which makes me care more and more precise about and for myself. Makes my life better.
🙏🏼❤️🔥🙏🏼 Massive appreciation!
I first heard about this from my current therapist a few months ago. It was a real eye-opener. It’s me to a T!
I’ve experienced a lot of betrayal these last few years. Family, partner, children, friends; it’s been overwhelming. I find myself experiencing all of these moods, plus resentment and outright hatred. I feel sometimes that I will never be normal again. Never trust again. It’s feels so hopeless. But now that I’ve read your list, I realize that I am definitely in freeze mode. Can’t wait to see your follow up vids. Thanks!
I answered "yes" to every item on her list. But: I am disabled, retired (due to disability), have no car, live in a "food desert" in a small town with no grocery stores and only a small restaurant and a Sonic. We just opened a Dollar Tree but, like I said, no car to drive there. I have to use delivery services, so add delivery fees and tips to already expensive food.
Not really griping but, at my March doctor visit, he had me take a short test for depression. Looks like we can add that to my fun life. Not what I planned for my older (66) years.
This is the first time I've heard this explained. I'm recovering from 15 years of xanax dependence, and this "freeze" is what my life looks like right now. Thank you for this video. I will look at your channel for more help.
Definitely spent two decades in freeze. Waking up close to 40. I spent two years "wintering" meaning I just really didn't do much. It was hard because I was always so productive and organized. My kids are home schooled and I forced myself to get them out of the house on play dates throughout the week. I forced myself to do this so they could at least get socialized; but their academics suffered. It was worth it though. We are catching up big time and may end up ahead after the summer. I am also finally feeling things too. Being able to actually feel anger, stress, disappointment etc. is a good sign. Even though these emotions are negative it is important to feel things. It means I'm actually coming out of freeze.
Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait for your next video! I need to thaw urgently.
I will be entirely disconnected from the world, losing track of time. At times, my vision becomes unclear, and I find myself in a blurry environment. My body feels numb, and occasionally, I can't even feel my hands or feet. During these moments, I am capable of performing repetitive tasks with no stress or anxiety. I feel anxious when I got connected back to the world🙁
Hi Nicole, I just discovered your channel as i was looking for help about ptsd and found out that there's cptsd too. And it gives me answers a bit to what I'm living.
I had a traumatic childhood. Im ADHD and I was kind and loving person. My father used to laugh at me for being nice with others. He was laughing saying -Save the world, Josée.
Sorry for my English. I'm from Québec hihi
My parents divorced at my 6 years old and we moved to my mother's new boyfriend.
Intimidated with violence at school from 8 to 13 years. Only one sister but she was always with our cousins that borned 2 days after her so they were sisters rejecting me all my childhood.
At 13 my father got married with a woman with a boy that didn't wanted us so she made it all to it. My mom meet a pedophile and he was trying by any manner to see us pinching holes in our bedroom walls my mom didn't do anything.
Because of my adhd I'm a bit immature and scared to leave. Asking help to some of my family that didn't do anything to help me. I left I was 21 before putting dark thoughts in place.
So all these years of psychological violence plus all the physical violence. One close oncle as brother died at 21 I was 8 a my mother told us 1 month later.
All that crap SORRY Fucked me up many years. 4 years ago I had a cranial trauma at work and I had to change Again all my life.
Still here fighting to stay alive.
I'm 50 just getting my first diploma in my life in infography 2 weeks ago. Very hard for me to face all that. As you said. I'm very isolated person and going out to find new job is very challenging my capabilities. I know that every little step is a win.
Thanks a lol. ❤
Through going back to read a journal from 6 months ago, I discovered that the last time I got into a freeze state it was because I was doing something I didn’t want to do/didn’t have to do. The same thing is happening right now. I agreed to do something I don’t necessarily want to do for a period of time, thinking I could be flexible with my boundaries. The result is a freeze state. This sucks, but now I know why I’m freezing and can work on thawing and establishing boundaries.
I see some of the list and how it’s described and wonder if it’s just that, the ADHD and probable autism, or both. Trouble I have is moving forward knowing it’s hard to find work again when that was a huge stressor, I now need to be more accommodated, can’t push myself or be pushed much at all, etc. tired of wasting life and brain here.
Thank You for helping me label the "problem" so I can work on the solution. A toxic toxic connection to ppl triggered this. My body is falling right in line with my thoughts but at least now I can work on the ''Solution"
Peace, Love, & Light Always
Thank you! Looking forward to next week!
Disconnecting from reality because it feels like too much to handle is very familiar to me. I find that it starts with forcing myself to do things when I already need rest. Then I reach a point when I'm overstimulated, exhausted because I'm bad at recognising that I need a break and I disregard how my body feels and tend to put too many things on my to-do list. And then I just want to escape, to hide and it feels like the world is too overwhelming
What is the difference between this and ADHD related inability to find motivation & take action?
Now that I’ve lived half a century, I’ve only recently discovered that I’ve been stuck in freeze mode for as long as I can recall. It is hampering my development and has become worse with repeated romantic rejection.
I’ve been feeling this exact way for a while not truly understanding what it is. Thank you. I look forward to your next video.
Thank you for sharing that you turned your life around even after decades in freeze.
You give me words to describe my 73 yrs of freeze state to my children and family etc ... THANK YOU !!! ...
I needed to see this! Thank you. Couple this with debilitating & painful conditions like fibromyalgia & injuries, pour in an overload of c-ptsd, and add heaps of grief from family members dying, et voila, you have: me.
I recently lost a close friend. He died only a few days ago. I still had to go to work, one of my jobs as a cashier and found myself slumped while standing and trying to put items through the scanner as fast as I could. I made the store net about $75,000 in the week but
After his passing the net dropped $15,000, grieving and sleepless nights began. Stress out commenced. I saw my liver specialist for autoimmune hepatitis the same day my friend died and was prescribed two more pills to keep me going. I sent his family a condolence card and National Forestry Foundation is planting trees, groves in honor of my friend as well as my late husband and even me. Somehow I had to do something positive because I truly experienced "the freeze". Not being able to do a full shower, making lists of intentions, needs but barely getting one done. I must forgive myself in grieving. I need to let go breathe, so I may sleep.. ....Love....
the ability to focus
This is 100% my response to stress of the four "F"s. Looking forward to the follow up video!
I was in this state for at least two years with out knowing what was happening to me; until I finally looked for help. It was explained to me that I was shutdown. I definitely didn’t feel myself then, I’m looking forward to know the steps to overcome shutting down 🙏
I find these videos to be of outstanding quality in every way. Only one who walks this healing path, who has/is doing their work, could create these. Really looking forward to practices in the next video. Thank you for making them.
I usually go between freeze and fawn. Thank you for breaking this down!!!
❤thank you so much. I've had this experience for years. It has led to much loss in my life. I have explained it as feeling like I'm petrified like petrified wood. Also I thought I was alone in not being able to do shower, brush teeth, go outside and walk across the street etc. Thank you for telling us about this. I feel like I'm not a lazy person but I'm always overwhelmed - like I Don't even know HOW to do this thing- where to even start! - and fatigued I feel guilty all of the time which is added stress.
THANK YOU!!!
This is me at the moment. I moved to another apartment and for a month now I haven’t been able to unpack my things. I lie down, watch RUclips or play on my phone. I feel empty inside.
I’ve been in freeze since early 2023 after a succession of traumatic events happened starting in 2022. It’s not the first time I’ve had to come back from it (I have C-PTSD from childhood trauma and other traumas as an adult) but it’s the first time I’ve had to reintegrate without a therapist because of lack of access to resources this time around. It’s completely debilitating and I barely leave the house. I’m isolated, dissociated, lethargic, and barely communicate with anyone but my housemates. I eagerly await your next video.
I've been feeling like this for the past year and a half ! I related to Everything you stated in this video and it's so comforting to know what's wrong with me ! Thank you so much for making this and i'll definetely wait for practical solutions ❤