DISOWNED BY MY FAMILY - they called me yesterday...

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Комментарии • 10 тыс.

  • @JoshuaFluke1
    @JoshuaFluke1  3 года назад +6674

    this is the 'nice version' of what the conversation was actually like. Way more F bombs, I should have hung up, but atleast I get closure. I've talked to other people that confirm these statements are mostly true. Shoutout to HR Lady's dad though, MR. Big D. He is a real one.

    • @drewmandan
      @drewmandan 3 года назад +346

      We believe you dude. We all have people like this in our lives.

    • @yashkaliapiano
      @yashkaliapiano 3 года назад +179

      Huge respect for Mr. Big D for supporting you

    • @ivanlarsen192
      @ivanlarsen192 3 года назад +85

      You are an inspiration to many. Keep on doing what you do.

    • @hycron1234
      @hycron1234 3 года назад +107

      I'd be blacklisting their phone numbers.

    • @kerryarsenault8312
      @kerryarsenault8312 3 года назад +163

      Thanks for sharing this side of your life with all of us Josh.
      I come from an extremely horrible childhood and am the daughter of addicts. My father was murdered when I was about 9 years old and I was already in Foster Care at this point but still had visitation with my dad who I loved and adored. My mother was addicted to heroin and unable to get clean to get her 3 children back. I was a ward of the state until I was 18 years old. I suffered severe emotional abuse/neglect in the foster care system. My mother passed away 13 years ago. My 36 year old baby brother (I am 39) just passed away 7 months ago from the disease of addiction! He was my best friend. I supported him throughout his entire life. I’m breaking the cycle by raising my 7 year old son as a loving mother who is fully there for him. But I know so much about the disease of addiction and I am so sorry you are experiencing this heartbreak as an adult child!
      I knew from almost the moment I started watching your videos about your parents financial abuse that they were addicts. I could tell immediately.
      I love your channel and your drive and motivation to be successful in life. Just wanted to say how sorry I am.

  • @user-rx2ur5el9p
    @user-rx2ur5el9p 3 года назад +8577

    Do NOT speak to them ever again. He reached out to you because he misses his free money. That's it.

    • @Hanfahhussain
      @Hanfahhussain 3 года назад +107

      we dont know that, there are three sides to this story, his side, the dads side and the truth.

    • @goosebyte
      @goosebyte 3 года назад +193

      I'm inclined to lean with best username (even if excel is excellent. lol)
      I have family who couldn't be bothered to do the bare minimum raising me but as soon as I have resources and stuff they want it's all about that, but the moment I don't want to house my adult /18 year old siblings for practically free while they destroy my apartment and property, and they act like tantruming children when they dont get their way. Nah, my family has tried to reach back out but it's never anything of substance or acting like they "forgive me" as if I wronged them by saying "no more, goodbye". Sometimes narcisists don't ever grow and only use the preception of growth as a foot in the door to get free stuff again.
      Hell, in the video they used the "cover my eyes and ears" tactic when he put his feelings on the internet and they ignored the videos to not have "hard feelings". More like "I dont want to deal with what I did wrong, so I will act like I have the moral high ground".
      It's pattern behavior and only Josh can say for sure if it's a pattern, and it sure sounds like one to me.

    • @navyskaterdude
      @navyskaterdude 3 года назад +135

      Its tough to write off family but toxic people are toxic people period. Nothing good will come out of reopening communication at this point. The "Bank of Josh" is now closed. See what the future holds but its up to them to fix their lives. Hang in there Josh

    • @JaymeSplendid
      @JaymeSplendid 3 года назад +29

      @@goosebyte not giving his family a pass at all but acting entitled and being a drug addict are two completely different things. No, he shouldn't give addicts money as that doesn't help the situation, but there are more troubling things at play here then just people being lazy and acting entitled.

    • @user-rx2ur5el9p
      @user-rx2ur5el9p 3 года назад +32

      @SpringBoot Horrible advice

  • @MrRickyw01
    @MrRickyw01 3 года назад +5787

    This young man is remarkable. He grew up under those parents. How he did not become like them is heartwarming.

    • @tomfreakingford
      @tomfreakingford 3 года назад +82

      Nice comment from you sir it will make him feel really nice to read that.

    • @triciabarr4620
      @triciabarr4620 3 года назад +68

      I absolutely 100% agree with you. I was about to comment something of the like. It would have been so much easier for him to be indoctrinated and brainwashed into thinking believing and behaving in the same dysfunctional way as his biological family members have.
      I truly believe that He will one day have a family unit of his own who love cherish and RESPECT each other for who each individual is as a person and NOT what they can or will do for them.

    • @justjuniorjaw
      @justjuniorjaw 3 года назад +12

      It's most likely through the internet, considering he decided to become a YTber

    • @tanyahorula1060
      @tanyahorula1060 3 года назад +4

      Totally agree!

    • @theory6366
      @theory6366 3 года назад +56

      @@triciabarr4620 unfortunately kids who’ve grown with narc parents most of the time learn to hide who they really are. We learn to mask ourselves incredibly well.. we don’t know who he really is. this is just what we see here in his videos. Sadly

  • @pesci20002010
    @pesci20002010 2 года назад +3414

    What scares me the most is how MANY parents actually use the "This is life" or "Its the past now its present" excuses to justify their literal abuse, including mine. My heart goes to you Joshua, not many of us can relate to your specific situation but we're here for you.

    • @user-fe8gx3ie5v
      @user-fe8gx3ie5v 2 года назад +24

      Not really justifying, but holding grudges doesn't help you or anyone else. You don't have to talk to them, but don't hate them or hold anger.

    • @TheSquids
      @TheSquids 2 года назад +11

      @@user-fe8gx3ie5v
      But don't they do the same thing?

    • @treyjordan1284
      @treyjordan1284 2 года назад +83

      @@user-fe8gx3ie5v id say if someone made my life a living hell i have the right to hold whatever grudge i have to the grave. nobody has to just let it go. because that means you forgive them. and sometimes people are not worth your forgiveness.

    • @user-fe8gx3ie5v
      @user-fe8gx3ie5v 2 года назад +21

      @@treyjordan1284 Based on personal experience, I'd say it isn't. Not really worth it. It just makes you more bitter.

    • @aoisora1445
      @aoisora1445 2 года назад +14

      I believe discipline is good, the problem is people pretend that abuse is the same as discipline, both can hurt you, but only one of those two options teaches valuable lessons...

  • @1ejordan
    @1ejordan Год назад +345

    You weren't dumb, you were hopeful and caring. It's so hard when your family actively hurts you.

    • @patricknez7258
      @patricknez7258 Год назад +3

      Agreed

    • @lman2047
      @lman2047 Год назад +4

      Same. My sister did something similar, because her addiction was more important than her two year old son. Ended getting my nephew taken away by CPS ,and you know what? While it hurts that I'll probably never see him again, and I hope and keep hoping that I'll see him, I've come to terms that in the grand scheme of things, since my sister has begun to see her own baby as just someone in her way, it's probably for the best that she doesn't have him anymore, because she clearly could've given a rats ass less about him.

    • @_SimpleSam
      @_SimpleSam Год назад

      You don't find it gross that he milks this issue for clicks, repeatedly, over multiple videos, despite it being private business?
      Given that, how do you even know it's the truth?

    • @blake1606
      @blake1606 11 месяцев назад

      @@_SimpleSam from the texts?

    • @masonreppeto882
      @masonreppeto882 9 месяцев назад +1

      @@_SimpleSam Men don't typically have friends outside of the internet. Friend groups are gone and he doesn't even work a typical job anymore. so what if he makes money off venting? That's a very good way to make money if it works!

  • @rocknroland1
    @rocknroland1 3 года назад +549

    This man pulled the reverse card and disowned his family back.
    Pretty badass.

  • @tecaintel9676
    @tecaintel9676 3 года назад +1781

    Our society has romanticized “unconditional love” from relatives, especially parents.
    Don’t ever feel bad for what you did. You were completely right in getting away from them. Extremely toxic people.

    • @hadoke
      @hadoke 2 года назад +70

      Total agreement, there seems to be this mindset that shitty families feel entitled to forgiveness cause you know "They're family, you have to forgive them." but if they never make an attempt to change, they just keep doing the same shitty things and say "Sorry," thinking saying that invalidates all the shitty things they've done. If you keep doing the shitty thing even after you say how sorry you are multiple times then you're not sorry. You're just using the word as a get out of jail free card.

    • @Helicopterpilot16
      @Helicopterpilot16 2 года назад +9

      @@hadoke Sad parallel reality was I had the same "unconditional love" attitude forced down my throat when my own mother got addicted to heroin as well. Even stealing my car for months when I'd only just landed a professional job I really enjoyed. Contending with that and my families denial caused me to run from home to Florida with the tax refund I'd received. Florida failed, I moved back. Mother got arrested the night after my return home. Family sure can be a bitch sometimes. While they were shitty, it's strange how certain things end. My mother has been sober for 5 years and gave birth to a sister that saved me from my own darkness and emotional dysregulation. I wouldn't have learned how I really was if I didn't also learn from my families ill's.

    • @thelourensfamily8048
      @thelourensfamily8048 2 года назад +3

      Agreed. I received love from my parents until I reached the age of 8. Suddenly I no longer met conditions (and I was a pretty good kid, didn't give trouble but still not good enough).

    • @idk-fu5bz
      @idk-fu5bz 2 года назад

      his parents are way more beyond of toxic, i think they are radioactive

    • @daniwolfplayz3599
      @daniwolfplayz3599 2 года назад +3

      i mean their bloodstream is toxic for sure with all those drugs

  • @theresilientspud
    @theresilientspud 3 года назад +1623

    My mother chose alcohol over me for 43 years. She recently had to dry out and go sober bc of a serious health issue that wouldve killed her if she kept drinking.
    And now I'M expected to forget everything that happened and support her! F**k that! She chose alcohol over her kids. She made her decision, now she can live with it.
    We're better off without those people in our lives. Keep moving forward.

    • @rosecox8115
      @rosecox8115 3 года назад +51

      I'm sorry you went through that but I'm glad you rose above

    • @sherpadai5452
      @sherpadai5452 3 года назад +25

      43 years fuckkkkk , my dad's at 8.

    • @buddykaiyala
      @buddykaiyala 3 года назад +72

      Forgiveness does not mean they are invited back into your life. It's a chance for you to give something that you never got.

    • @babyramses5066
      @babyramses5066 3 года назад +62

      @@buddykaiyala THIS. Forgiveness is the right you give yourself to be happy again and permission to cut people out of your life if that's what it takes

    • @weston1330
      @weston1330 3 года назад +3

      Amen

  • @rileymcphee9429
    @rileymcphee9429 Год назад +105

    It's sad when you realize being a good man makes you the black sheep in the family.

    • @kdizzle901
      @kdizzle901 6 месяцев назад +5

      I was disowned for my addiction it’s insane that he was disowned for not giving them a free ride

  • @jessicadominguez1315
    @jessicadominguez1315 2 года назад +851

    My dad's family was narcissistic too. This is very familiar. They never change.
    A counselor gave me this nugget of wisdom. "Being related doesn't give anyone a free pass to treat you however they want."

    • @owen3655
      @owen3655 2 года назад

      Yo I just beat tf out my narcissistic brother lmao I hate them

    • @kyraxmalta5591
      @kyraxmalta5591 2 года назад +2

      My mum said the same thing to me that my dads side are narcs and the only good thing my dad ever gave me was a chance to see my siblings whom i never met and after a week of listening to my dad play the victim over the yrs of bs i blocked him without a warning and this was the only conversations ive ever had with him

    • @MMArtsRock
      @MMArtsRock 2 года назад +2

      Just because you're blood doesn't make you family. That's something you have to earn.

    • @joylynch5204
      @joylynch5204 Месяц назад +1

      Amen!

  • @DGNT1
    @DGNT1 3 года назад +1169

    why do people say josh should keep this a secret? 100% this is helping someone who is going through a similar thing

    • @peonixgold
      @peonixgold 3 года назад +113

      Bingo. It's the hidden wounds that fester and rot, it's much better to talk about these things (in a safe place and safe way of course) so we dont let them rot our souls to pieces to keep the secret.

    • @bnpixie1990
      @bnpixie1990 3 года назад +40

      Im conflicted cause i dont talk about my issues. But it does feel better when i hear about another's issues cause im like "oh ok im not the only one who has family problems."
      But it is sooo weird to talk smack. And you know people will put you down for it.

    • @LiveMahs
      @LiveMahs 3 года назад +43

      @@DavidSharpMSc come on man, he's gotta recoup some of that money his family wasted on drugs!

    • @LiveMahs
      @LiveMahs 3 года назад +18

      @@DavidSharpMSc I agree. I really hope he can put all of this behind him eventually. I'm glad he has HR lady and her family to help him through this, because having this happen alone (i'm sure it's more frequent than we think) would be extremely difficult.

    • @epmcgee
      @epmcgee 3 года назад +8

      I'm going through something similar, where I cut ties with my family (actually found the first part of Josh's story within a month of walking away from my family) and it has personally helped me come to terms with the situation and make peace with the fact that I might never see them again, and that's okay.

  • @aliservan7188
    @aliservan7188 3 года назад +1285

    The biggest lie that society tells you is that you HAVE to forgive your family, that you actually need them, that you owe them anything. Sometimes you're way better off without them. Keep strong. You are much better off without them.

    • @juliaforsyth8332
      @juliaforsyth8332 3 года назад +26

      The truest words written! Sigh.

    • @elouise5593
      @elouise5593 3 года назад +53

      Forgive for your own peace of mind, not theirs. That doesn't mean you have to do stuff for them or even let them back into your life

    • @debradillard315
      @debradillard315 3 года назад +36

      Sometimes "Family" is nothing more then DNA connection. I wish you the best in your life. Take care, Debi.

    • @KoraruMinaro
      @KoraruMinaro 3 года назад +57

      @@elouise5593 not everyone works that way. If it works for you great. But some of us have perfectly fine peace of mind without ever forgiving people who have harmed us in the worst ways.

    • @carterbentonjr399
      @carterbentonjr399 3 года назад +8

      Love them, forgive them, but don't have anything to do with them if they don't change.

  • @valeriedeforge5961
    @valeriedeforge5961 Год назад +112

    I am a 70 year old grandmother and heartbroken to hear your story. Please don't let your family put you through anymore of their toxic dis function. No matter how hard you try to get them to understand your point of view they never will. Let them go with love. Love yourself and move on with your life. Talking about will definitely help. Maybe go to therapy so your feelings can be validated and you can learn the traits of addiction. You cannot heal them as you will learn. You are a sweet young man and will be ok. Pay attention to your gut feelings and that will guide you through. Lots of love and support dear from this grandma.❤

  • @CorrieRands
    @CorrieRands 3 года назад +480

    Your 👏ex-dad 👏was 👏100% 👏doing 👏drugs

    • @rani.andretti
      @rani.andretti 3 года назад +11

      No doubt

    • @1god2savem37
      @1god2savem37 3 года назад +7

      Of course.

    • @MuMu-fu7qe
      @MuMu-fu7qe 3 года назад +21

      His dad's story smells like such BS. He could have been gambling it all away and just making up the drug addict story for sympathy points and making everyone else look bad. Dad is such a narc. He doesn't appreciate explanations or "pearls of wisdom." It's all such a waste of time. I hope Josh learns that these are a different species of human and stops trying to have a normal interaction with them. There is healing but it takes work. Therapy would be a great start.

    • @wuldntuliktonoptb6861
      @wuldntuliktonoptb6861 3 года назад

      Its meth

    • @jamesb-yj9cc
      @jamesb-yj9cc 2 месяца назад

      If he was stalking you in the parking lot in hopes you had some cash in your pocket (from previous disown video) ya that's a drug addict.

  • @Elies313E
    @Elies313E 2 года назад +706

    33:38 "Talking to my dad was the literal definition of the narcissist prayer which goes like this:
    'That didn't happen, and if it did it wasn't that bad, and if it was that's not a big deal, and if it is that's not my fault, and if it was I didn't mean it, and if I did you deserved it.'"
    That really resonated with me, thank you.

    • @Annonymous0283745
      @Annonymous0283745 2 года назад +16

      holy shit that was literally what a conversation with my mother sounds like. WOW.

    • @oohlalala2153
      @oohlalala2153 2 года назад +9

      @@Annonymous0283745 it's basically, "im sorry YOU feel that way" so dismissive 😢

    • @Big-BossX
      @Big-BossX 2 года назад +3

      Or the classic "it was all for your own good I did it all for you"

    • @lavieestduresansconfiture4939
      @lavieestduresansconfiture4939 2 года назад +4

      "I didn't hit you but if I did it was not in the face. And if I did it was your fault."

    • @quantumjourney1
      @quantumjourney1 4 месяца назад

      and if you didn't deserve it, "that's life"

  • @hmwpyro18
    @hmwpyro18 2 года назад +1482

    I can relate. I was disowned by entire mother’s side of the family, really for entertainment. I was renting a room at my grandma’s place to help her pay for bills. Didn’t realise prior how verbally abusive she was, and likes to start drama for fun. I went for a walk one day, and I guess she looked at my laptop and found I was looking for apartments to rent, so I wouldn’t have to pay her rent anymore, and fabricated a story that I threatened her with a knife and threatened that I was going to set her house on fire. I got kicked out, and for 2 weeks until I blocked everyone, basically got death threats and harassed by members of my family. About 9 months later of not speaking to them and getting close to Christmas, I got a call from one of my aunts. Asking if I was coming over for Christmas, and said “We forgive you. All you have to do is apologise and we’ll welcome you back” I ignored her. I questioned for a long time if I made the right decision. But that answer came to me last year when I ran into my cousin. He said grandma targeted him, and everyone in the family are either fighting eachother, talking bad about eachother behind their backs, or everyone is depressed.

    • @fathimamuhammad3799
      @fathimamuhammad3799 2 года назад +140

      I'm so sorry you were treated like that. Thank goodness you were able to get away from that mess and your cousin realized he was the new scapegoat

    • @shovelmp4971
      @shovelmp4971 2 года назад +69

      you did right ignoring them, even if they feel some sort of guilt they should live with it for the rest of their miserable lives

    • @matt54740
      @matt54740 2 года назад +46

      I have similar shit with my grandma, a manipulative horrible woman that tried to make me hate my dad and tried to make me think I was a girl at a young age, cut her out of my life and all she ever does is act the victim.

    • @Hirouka1
      @Hirouka1 2 года назад +10

      Jesus that's horrible. I guess misery loves company.

    • @anthonyguerra9625
      @anthonyguerra9625 2 года назад +6

      sue her for slander

  • @royalsauce8128
    @royalsauce8128 Год назад +76

    Honestly man I’ve seen people turn out horribly with parents who aren’t even that bad. So seeing you being sentient & aware & level headed after living your life with parents like this is impressive. So glad to see you turned out alright

    • @giga_chad9
      @giga_chad9 Год назад

      Was your family trying to murder you💀

  • @suraangel6956
    @suraangel6956 3 года назад +593

    "I can't do that to my wife. I can't do that to my daughter."
    But he can lie, manipulate, and give zero craps for his son. Okay

    • @jonmayer
      @jonmayer 3 года назад +46

      Yep, because the wife and daughter are just like him. Being normal makes him the odd duck here.

    • @kwonj126
      @kwonj126 3 года назад +19

      lying and manipulating to his wife and daughter won't get him any more money.

    • @Threadworxs
      @Threadworxs 3 года назад +20

      yup.. druggies will do and say ANYthing it takes to milk the Cash Cow. And that's all Josh had become to them. Even now I bet ex-daddy-boy is wanting something .. like court coming up for 1 or all 3 of them, or they need money for legals, or sure, a debt to a dealer .... either way, that call was sussing out the lay of the land and whether it was possible to coral the Cash Cow back into the stall for milking again. Josh, NEVER TAKE A CALL FROM THEM AGAIN. He reeled you back in for 4hrs and look at how it's messed you up again. DONT GIVE THEM THAT POWER EVER AGAIN.

    • @millsykooksy4863
      @millsykooksy4863 3 года назад +5

      To be honest I don’t know if this is a white thing or not but my husband is Caucasian, I am mixed and his family (whose obviously white) bent over backwards for their daughter and treated their son like crap, for their entire lives. It’s bizarre 🤷🏻‍♀️🥺

    • @maplesadventures2084
      @maplesadventures2084 3 года назад +5

      I wonder how long they were really on drugs?

  • @HappyBirdsGlitterNest
    @HappyBirdsGlitterNest Год назад +646

    Hun, take it from a Grandmother....your Dad is a narcissist. He has the classic signs. You can't control that fact, but you CAN control who you allow into your life. Surround yourself with people who will uplift you and do good for you. Your Dad is a toxic person and needs help. Not help from you; HE has to find it himself.

    • @syav4467
      @syav4467 Год назад +15

      This is really good advice.

    • @ivanadams3809
      @ivanadams3809 Год назад +10

      Spot on ma'am, God bless

    • @lookronjon
      @lookronjon Год назад +9

      You words are true. I kept going back. Saying I was sorry for my part but never got an apology from my mother. She told me she never wanted me. Then I knew why she abused me.
      That’s when I stopped going back.

    • @stevenevangelist5221
      @stevenevangelist5221 Год назад +6

      There's no cure, treatment, or pill, for psychopath's.

    • @oilindustri
      @oilindustri Год назад +2

      Yeah I was looking for this. Gotta recognize it. Spot on.

  • @dumpster9048
    @dumpster9048 3 года назад +257

    Don’t call him ‘dad’ anymore. He’s not your dad, he never was to begin with.

    • @rustyshackleford2841
      @rustyshackleford2841 3 года назад +12

      This is a start, he needs to earn the tittle.

    • @scalamasterelectros3204
      @scalamasterelectros3204 3 года назад +9

      Dumpsters dont have an opinion

    • @mussimbigrace3469
      @mussimbigrace3469 3 года назад +2

      @@scalamasterelectros3204 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Reno_Slim
      @Reno_Slim 3 года назад +1

      Even "sperm donor" would be a much too honorable and generous destination.

    • @tomfreakingford
      @tomfreakingford 3 года назад +1

      I dont think it's easy to understand the thought of living without family is a very scary thing

  • @thomastuttle5365
    @thomastuttle5365 Год назад +161

    As someone who's experienced their own father stealing their identity, I feel for you immensely. Ive never seen your videos before. You were on my suggested today. Just know someone else knows how you feel. I never had the ability to pay for all my fathers needs, and he still took me for everything. Keep your head up. Eventually you'll realize no matter how much it hurts, you no longer need him or them.

    • @Marekcatholic
      @Marekcatholic Год назад +1

      A lot of pain, alive pain on here on this channel! I had experienced my dads emotional abuse. he is I believe a narcissist. so gaslightying, projection I experienced it. so I know how it feels. But my mom, brother are decent, good people. IM in a process where I dont speak to my dad at the moment. we havent spoken for 2 months. he has himself a woman, so he is not so desperate and my brother supports him by speaking to him. I had a breakdown 20 years ago out of all the abuse. nobody knows about gaslighting. it drove me crazy . eaten me from the inside out. to the outside our family was "decent". mother suffered aswell. and now dad wants to move on. I thought when he will get old he will become more desperate facing the wall. but no. he found a woman. I believe everyone of us who went through this makes his own choice how to deal with abuser. My own choice is still - I want to keep in touch with him. treating him like a big baby that shoots a gun in every direction. not personally. and believing Jesus loves me in all of this helps immensely. To God our pain is precious. But each to their own.

    • @thomastuttle5365
      @thomastuttle5365 Год назад +1

      @@Marekcatholic haven't spoken to pops in years

    • @Marekcatholic
      @Marekcatholic Год назад

      @@thomastuttle5365 I just speak for myself ,in my case Im sort of rushed to not hold it against him, because the bitterness is destroying my inside. If I dont try to address to "try" to forgive Im afraid I can hurt somebody someday badly. So I dont want that. But every case is different. The pain is there. a lot of it. watching video like this helps. take care

    • @thomastuttle5365
      @thomastuttle5365 Год назад +4

      @@Marekcatholic don't hate, but keep your distance. Being close isn't necessary in any manner. Sometimes bad people end up becoming fathers. You owe him nothing.

    • @MarjorieParaison
      @MarjorieParaison 9 месяцев назад

      I’m so sorry he did that to you ❤

  • @karzaisheikh5619
    @karzaisheikh5619 3 года назад +540

    Sometimes strangers will love you more than your parents will.

    • @gentleasa5728
      @gentleasa5728 3 года назад +25

      I personally have at least 3 extra sons , that my boys brought home over the years! They were great youngsters, and I’ve watched them grow with mine, they still grace my table here , and there. I love them dearly , your statement is so true💯❤️

    • @ShikataGaNai100
      @ShikataGaNai100 3 года назад +15

      Our drummer's Mom (I was lead singer in a 60s rock band) became my Mother; the one I never had.

    • @thearchibaldtuttle
      @thearchibaldtuttle 3 года назад

      Love you for saying that!

    • @karzaisheikh5619
      @karzaisheikh5619 3 года назад +1

      @@thearchibaldtuttle I love you too my friend

    • @dancingnature
      @dancingnature 3 года назад +7

      I’ve got a son who I never gave birth to because his family was so toxic . Been “ my kid” since he was in middle school . He’s in his 40s now

  • @matts1392
    @matts1392 3 года назад +438

    Speaking from experience, an apology won't give you closure, and you'll go nuts waiting for one. It sucks but you're better off that they disowned you. They don't deserve you.

    • @JaymeSplendid
      @JaymeSplendid 3 года назад +7

      But educating one's self on addiction and how it alters the brain will. He doesn't need to forgive and be back in their lives but he should completely understand addiction before anything else. He should talk to a therapist who specializes in addiction.

    • @ripp3rjak934
      @ripp3rjak934 3 года назад +20

      @@JaymeSplendid
      He shouldn’t have to waste his own time trying to figure out his family’s addictions or consult a therapist.
      In order for treatment to have an effect they first need to be willing to help themselves overcome whatever addiction they’re on.
      All he needs to do is worry about himself and the people in his lives from this point on.
      Being disowned is kind of a blessing in disguise. Now he doesn’t feel or have this need to be obligated to support their addictions. It’s almost a freedom type of feeling.
      But I’m the end. It’s up to him what he decides to do.

    • @MediocreTCG
      @MediocreTCG 3 года назад +11

      @@ripp3rjak934 while I agree with you, he definitely should as well. Learning why someone did something can help process your own feelings towards the situation.

    • @cim6205
      @cim6205 3 года назад +7

      @@JaymeSplendid or maybe a therapist or psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse so he can process and heal from what his family put him through

    • @9188jenni
      @9188jenni 3 года назад +3

      Yes. When they disown you it actually helps you to let go. You cant hold on to people who dont want you so it really helps a lot even though it is painful

  • @TraversyMedia
    @TraversyMedia 3 года назад +1298

    I know you made this a while ago and I haven’t finished it yet, but I was 100% sure drugs were involved when I heard your story months ago. The behavior is all too familiar. Sorry man, it’s hard dealing with family members that are using. I have been on both ends. Sharing your personal stuff will help a lot of people. Not many creators do it. I hope things get better if they haven’t already

    • @Yolduranduran
      @Yolduranduran 3 года назад +22

      My husband and I have been cheated, lied to and used by his daughter. Money stolen, things stolen, ongoing lies, manipulation, fraud, etc. They don't use any drugs, in a way that's worse. There is no obvious solution. It's her and her boyfriend. They are the same.

    • @MiddleVan
      @MiddleVan 3 года назад +8

      Hi, just want to know you and Joshua's channels were both there when I started out my journey to become a developer, and now I am. You both are honest about things and made it so much more relatable. You both helped so many people dealing with different problems by simply sharing them, it made us feel less lonely, and provides a new way of looking at our own situation. Thank you.

    • @brandonburum8279
      @brandonburum8279 3 года назад +9

      It could be narcissistic personality disorder without drugs. Same quirks.

    • @Vi5hnujan
      @Vi5hnujan 3 года назад +2

      Thank god im live in india. Drugs aren't as big a problem here🥺

    • @annabodot962
      @annabodot962 2 года назад +4

      I remember that. A number of people said the same even though he didn’t mention it as a possibility. Yup, he’s been forced to join the same horrible fucking club like a lot of us. There’s hope though.

  • @dancingcloudlew4311
    @dancingcloudlew4311 Год назад +68

    Josh, I've skipped over your videos for a very long time, because I'm in the same situation. I didn't want to relive the s**t through your story. Today I listened, I hear your grief, I feel the betrayal. Josh, family is suppose to be supportive, kind, unconditional in every way. You are very intelligent, handsome young man. You are stuck in that mess, and can't get out. Your dad is playing on your emotions. You deserve happiness, you deserve to be loved. Don't get involved, your dad is lying, there's more and he's not telling. He's a con artist, please don't get involved. Change your number, or ignore them. Even now you're being manipulated. I decided that if my family didn't love me, I must love myself. I'm not concerned about them anymore, I think about them periodically, but I don't see them. Your dad could very well be an addict too. I hope he's not, but that's on him. Please don't get involved. You'll be a happier person. Please take your time to fine love, you want it to be genuine, someone who will stick by you always. I know it hurt, but you will develop health issues if you don't close the book on them. Our stories parallel. We have so much in common, take care of your mental health, this crap will drive you crazy. Their confessions that have placed you in debt can be reversed. I hope the day will come when you stop reliving your pain, stop writing about it. Right now it's therapeutic, the day will come when you will stop. Very please you've confronted your dad. He's stressed alright, don't let them use you.

  • @captainfluffypaws7068
    @captainfluffypaws7068 3 года назад +467

    You will backslide into a toxic relationship if you let them in again.

    • @renaudfred5866
      @renaudfred5866 3 года назад

      @brandon why would he lose her?. He definitely won't lose her.

    • @janco333
      @janco333 3 года назад +9

      @@renaudfred5866 Sane people dont like insane people

    • @renaudfred5866
      @renaudfred5866 3 года назад +1

      @brandon at the end of the day Josh knows what he is doing and I am pretty sure he won’t get to level of connection with his parent again but thinking hr lady would leave him if he ever decided to forgive them and move on that’s a stretch

    • @renaudfred5866
      @renaudfred5866 3 года назад +1

      @brandon In reality it’s just sad that his parents did that to him and still don’t regret it. They almost destroyed their son and all he wanted was their good

    • @renaudfred5866
      @renaudfred5866 3 года назад +2

      @brandon hey man keep going you and your gf have a bright future ahead of you guys keep making the right choice bro. You got it

  • @heathers1677
    @heathers1677 3 года назад +328

    I promise his dads an addict ... I’ve lived with one ... nothing is ever their fault and they always play the victim. Master manipulator.

    • @sixmag4831
      @sixmag4831 3 года назад +7

      My brother is the same way. I'm currently letting him stay with so he won't have to live in his car and he's already acting like he owns the place. He does what he wants, when he wants, nothing is his fault and when you remind him something is, I'm instantly cussed out and belittled.

    • @BasedChad1
      @BasedChad1 3 года назад +1

      My brother is a narcissist and he has my parents wrapped around his finger.
      When we get in disagreement he immediately hits low and when I bring it up to my parents they blame me.
      I don't know what to do. He's messing up my relationship with my family.

    • @sixmag4831
      @sixmag4831 3 года назад +1

      @@BasedChad1 Ever seen "The Good Child?"
      THAT.

    • @BasedChad1
      @BasedChad1 3 года назад +1

      @@sixmag4831 Never seen it but I'll look

    • @kagato23
      @kagato23 3 года назад +5

      @@sixmag4831 kick him out now, before he tries some squatter right shit.

  • @BulldogMindsetArchive
    @BulldogMindsetArchive 3 года назад +5847

    You sharing this is going to help a lot of people.

    • @TheMrKlassy
      @TheMrKlassy 3 года назад +35

      it's the bull dog

    • @commonsense_revolution
      @commonsense_revolution 3 года назад +67

      Agreed John, it's great he's keeping his audience up to date on this, even if it helps one person.

    • @hrlady1
      @hrlady1 3 года назад +39

      That’s exactly why he shares 💛

    • @cryptodeveloper
      @cryptodeveloper 3 года назад +12

      Legend 🔥

    • @NeoZondix
      @NeoZondix 3 года назад +5

      That's true!

  • @edvivirito7253
    @edvivirito7253 Год назад +29

    Sorry kid. I was disowned by my toxic family too. Did the whole mental funeral and mourning thing just like you. And just like you, it's really for the best. Stay strong and keep working on your emotional well being.

  • @ola...o1009
    @ola...o1009 3 года назад +196

    Venting online isn’t easy for a man. It’s strength for some of us. Take it easy Josh.

    • @ichbinjon
      @ichbinjon 3 года назад +8

      Exactly. Showing genuine emotion is something that we're berated for not doing enough and encourage to do more... in theory. But we know the reality is that if we do we're viewed as weak with a heavy load of baggage and should learn how to deal with it in private or just get on with it and stop crying. Not caring either way is a great skill, as long as you can keep discussing it coherently.

    • @joylynch5204
      @joylynch5204 Месяц назад

      It was really healing for me to hear this young man describe similar dynamic of disowning and gaslighting I’ve been through. :(

  • @hellionsmith
    @hellionsmith 3 года назад +624

    "fAmIlY iS fOrEVeR" yeah well but so is a felony

    • @Amy-gp7ek
      @Amy-gp7ek 3 года назад +7

      😂

    • @jasminejones9937
      @jasminejones9937 3 года назад +4

      Ain't that the truth 👍

    • @Goishen
      @Goishen 3 года назад +6

      "Well, we just thought, ya know... That getting a lawyer would make us look, ya know, guilty." "Ya know what'll make you look even more guilty than that? A 6 & 11 special of you doing the perp walk into the county jail."

    • @evang1475
      @evang1475 3 года назад +1

      lol. cute. love this. you can make a shirt with this line.

    • @Goishen
      @Goishen 3 года назад +5

      @@evang1475 It's a line from Better Call Saul.

  • @moldilocks2904
    @moldilocks2904 Год назад +16

    I hate how your story reminds me of my childhood, and I know this means nothing coming from a stranger, but I am proud of you for the way you turned out, and how you stood up for yourself. I wanna give you a hug. Keep being you, and doing what you need to do to make your life better. You deserve it. Not them. They don't deserve you either

  • @adamcoonich141
    @adamcoonich141 3 года назад +424

    "take it or leave it Josh..."
    Leave it... Sorry to say it, but that's the only way you heal, grow, and move on to bigger and better things.

    • @adamcoonich141
      @adamcoonich141 3 года назад +9

      I'm also working on flying and get my pilot's license so I can break into the aviation industry, I really think that's where I belong. So I know what that sky life is like a little bit just like you lol keep chasing that dream. Maybe start a series related to your journey?

    • @Wildwestwrangler
      @Wildwestwrangler 3 года назад +5

      People like that only say take it or leave it because they actually believe that you'd never leave it!!!

    • @frozenfresh6406
      @frozenfresh6406 3 года назад +1

      Josh's dad is an asshole for sure, but I feel a bit of pity for him after hearing how he was raised/treated by the grandparents in other videos. They put him on the path to failure, he never made any effort to become a good human being though.

  • @richardackley1823
    @richardackley1823 3 года назад +359

    All three were doing drugs. An addict will lie about everything, everything. The only reason he's calling you now is he hopes to patch up your situation, then hit you up for more money.

    • @rahnsingh7693
      @rahnsingh7693 3 года назад +3

      You don't know that, he could very well have just been the enabler... drug addicts often hang on to a sympathetic family member who makes excuses for their behavior.

    • @moonbear5929
      @moonbear5929 3 года назад +1

      Exactly

    • @jon8223
      @jon8223 3 года назад +13

      @@rahnsingh7693 Nah, he was on drugs too.

    • @Lepewhi
      @Lepewhi 3 года назад +8

      @@jon8223 Absolutely!!! The dad is on drugs as well. For sure.

    • @trashbasket11
      @trashbasket11 3 года назад +3

      He probably is also on drugs but it really doesnt matter. Him enabled his wife and child and using his other child to do it is gross and worse than just being an addict. Dads a piece of crap regardless.

  • @sgtigereye
    @sgtigereye 3 года назад +360

    He is just buttering you up to get back in your life and start using you again. I am so sorry he opened this wound back up for you.

  • @InTheStudioWithMyrna
    @InTheStudioWithMyrna Год назад +47

    I'm not even two minutes in and don't know your story yet I recognize where you're at. I realized I didn't have to do this anymore and walked away twenty-seven years ago. It was hard for a long time and then it became the best decision I've ever made. When there's hope, it hurts. That changed when I accepted that the person couldn't give me what they didn't have and that I was not only good and enough already but also on my way to being so much more, to fulfilling my potential. Saying no to them allowed me to say yes to myself. You will not just survive; you will thrive.

  • @river7874
    @river7874 2 года назад +633

    I left when I was 15 years old and I never looked back. Best decision of my life that I ever made.
    There's no reason to subject yourself to the whims of a malignant narcissist.

    • @OrgBrent
      @OrgBrent 2 года назад +9

      How'd you get through leaving? Did you get a place to sleep from friends / other family members?

    • @TheRealDismantler
      @TheRealDismantler 2 года назад +4

      Hold on, 15?!

    • @ThePilleroflightning
      @ThePilleroflightning 2 года назад +5

      @@OrgBrent I’m trying to move out but it’s so hard to find a place with a friend since everything seems like a scam

    • @terrysipes4880
      @terrysipes4880 2 года назад +1

      Yep,
      Have to quit enabling them.

    • @kekwelrisitas2931
      @kekwelrisitas2931 2 года назад +2

      @@ThePilleroflightning Maybe everything seems like a scam , but if you dont take the step you will never move forward my dude. Life is about risks and you will lose some battles but you learn from it and continue. Its hard to leave your life behind but is this the life you want to live you need to ask yourself. I wish you good luck and anyone reading this, who is in the same situation.

  • @k-kamori8842
    @k-kamori8842 3 года назад +235

    Do you know what the best part of this story is? The fact that this people raised you, and you still ended up such a great person considering their toxicity.
    You deserve happiness and everything good that comes your way.

    • @muctar_s
      @muctar_s 3 года назад +2

      Josh is actually based.

    • @jumpingSpiders
      @jumpingSpiders 3 года назад

      @@muctar_s wdym?

    • @Cewu
      @Cewu 3 года назад

      @@muctar_s what... why? Are you an addict too, so his opinion is not popular in your circles? XD

    • @neffariouspanda
      @neffariouspanda 3 года назад +7

      @@Cewu You do know that being "based" is a good thing, right?

    • @RS-fy9hb
      @RS-fy9hb 3 года назад +5

      Ahh, based is probably the opposite of cringe, right? So then basically, he's saying he's awesome, or the man. A good guy.

  • @zhin13
    @zhin13 3 года назад +326

    Who the hell did parents like that raise someone like you?! Well done for coming out of that mess a decent person.

    • @JoshuaFluke1
      @JoshuaFluke1  3 года назад +167

      I probably have some issues like a disagreeable personality, which doesn't bode well for corporate jobs.

    • @TaguroSuper
      @TaguroSuper 3 года назад +31

      @@JoshuaFluke1 you'll fit in as an auditor I must say.

    • @livestreamer5478
      @livestreamer5478 3 года назад +4

      *How the hell right

    • @MyName-bi4pt
      @MyName-bi4pt 3 года назад +17

      My husbands family are the same. My parents took him under their wings and they are more like parents than his have ever been. My husband is a very successful man and did it without any of their help.

    • @mcgrathc123
      @mcgrathc123 3 года назад +17

      @@JoshuaFluke1 Dude fuck corporate jobs, your making bank without selling your soul. You're doing the right thing forging your own path dude, and inspiring us newbies in the process.
      Keep doing what your doing bro!

  • @TheAbscond
    @TheAbscond Год назад +85

    It takes people way too long to realize you don’t HAVE to support your family if they’re toxic to you. Start grinding, make more money than you did before, and spend it all on yourself! I hope you find happiness brother ❤

    • @veemuyambo
      @veemuyambo Год назад +1

      That's very true , it takes a lot .

    • @neferiusnexus
      @neferiusnexus Год назад +4

      Spending money on oneself only goes so far. It's the people you surround yourself, people who will lift you up instead of trying to bring you down.

    • @SethFacundo
      @SethFacundo 9 месяцев назад

      U don't have to support ur family period regardless of toxicity unless u are the parent as dont have a kid otherwise. Families support eachother and parents need to support their kids especially financially these days. Their generation had it better than we do regarding predatory late stage capitalism.

  • @milili27
    @milili27 3 года назад +387

    This man needs a huge hug. Sorry that you’re going through this manipulative situation, please be encouraged. ❤️

    • @AfroGaz71
      @AfroGaz71 3 года назад +1

      So long as he's not the one being manipulative for subs. I know that sounds cynical but it's not that uncommon a grift online.

    • @RS-fy9hb
      @RS-fy9hb 3 года назад +2

      @@AfroGaz71 We all know that, but think about the effect posting something like this would have on his actual family. That is more than enough to make it real to me. The fact that he's now coming to terms with his family abandoning and betraying him, and that family still trying to reel back their cash cow back in, is so fucking despairing to know that these people actually exist.

    • @misternurse2u503
      @misternurse2u503 3 года назад

      @@AfroGaz71 d#*n bro. Kinda harsh? Why are you so negative? If that’s what you gathered out of this video, you may need to see someone professionally to see why you gravitate to negativity. Not being funny. I’m dead a##

  • @anne2356
    @anne2356 3 года назад +537

    I dunno how this video got on my feed, but I'm glad it did. This is the most intense family drama I've ever heard! I can't wrap my head around how your family members treat each other!? How did you come out so normal and able to adult properly?!? You're a miracle!!

    • @jimbrent8151
      @jimbrent8151 3 года назад +24

      Drugs ruin lives, that is how they treated him so badly.
      Josh is a real man. not a miracle.

    • @cvxcfv
      @cvxcfv 3 года назад +7

      He needs an Asian friend. Enough said
      His eyes would be opened to a new world. Joshua is basically Asian inside, you'd be welcomed in my family.

    • @AllenTax
      @AllenTax 3 года назад +2

      It is do to RUclips AI.

    • @scruffylookingNerfherder5742
      @scruffylookingNerfherder5742 3 года назад +1

      Joshuah if you read this I am so God damn sorry for what you are going through brother. The situation with your family is just so FUBAR it danm near brought me to tears. I have a nephew who just so happens to have the same 1st name is you who is gotten heavily into drugs and we haven't heard from him in at least 3 years. His father is absolutely no idea where he is and at this point we don't even know if he is alive or dead.

    • @Kraehe09
      @Kraehe09 3 года назад

      Yes you are such a Good guy, sad that your Family Did that to you. 🤐

  • @lisadawley
    @lisadawley 3 года назад +377

    The hardest thing I ever heard was my therapist telling me, "Yeah, sometimes it's hard to accept when our parents aren't interested in our lives." The guilt trips are huge. Draw your lines and don't look back. You'll never find the love you're seeking from them, they aren't capable. I'm so sorry. I understand and empathize :(

    • @a.k.4085
      @a.k.4085 3 года назад +5

      Agree. But it is possible to find the love he deserves from others who are not family who will show him kindness. I wish you well Josh. Take care of you and pat yourself on the back that you are not the angry nutcase your Dad is. 😥😢😭

    • @DJ-yt8eg
      @DJ-yt8eg 3 года назад +3

      Sometimes you just have to walk away ...

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 3 года назад +1

      I get that

    • @SKBottom
      @SKBottom 3 года назад +4

      No, he won't ever receive what he's looking for for them. Continuing to look for it will just even his frustration, anger, and sadness. His answer lies elsewhere.

    • @brianm744
      @brianm744 3 года назад +3

      Lisa, one of the hardest things therapist said to me was something like "One of the hardest lessons we learn about our parents is that they are human and make mistakes. Sometimes ones they can't come back from." Josua, it is possible to find another "family". Although I don't agree with a lot of what Frederick Nietzche said, I do agree with his "That which does not kill me only makes me stronger." I learned this when I was in the military. "If you can't go around, over, or through an obstacle, USE it. Turn it into an advantage. Think outside the box and USE it." Use what you've learned bro. But, don't let it use YOU.

  • @jameseglavin4
    @jameseglavin4 Год назад +41

    Jesus, the financial abuse is more than enough to permanently alienate a child, I can’t imagine how bad the other forms of abuse might be… solidarity, man - as a child of narcissistic abuse I feel you on the whole tone of this video. I hope you’re doing ok and will continue to do better and feel better as time goes on without them

  • @Takedownman
    @Takedownman 2 года назад +506

    I got my inlaws out after a year, now they have disowned us and said we are cut off, I said "awesome "! I'm cut off from what again? Paying their way, taking all their shit? Hell I'm good with that!

    • @xephael3485
      @xephael3485 2 года назад +11

      Much of the boomer generation is completely selfish. They sold out the next generation for their personal satisfaction and temporary enjoyment.

    • @whoknowswhocares885
      @whoknowswhocares885 2 года назад +4

      Were you cut off from the inheritance?

    • @darthvader5300
      @darthvader5300 2 года назад +13

      @@xephael3485 Which boomer generation? In America? Canada? Japan? Southeast Asia? My great-granduncle who 94 going 95 years old, fought in WW II and took care of needy nephews and nieces in Kazan, Russia, when he was an analyst intelligence officer working for the Government during the Cold War and went out often overseas. He helped my father who is his grand-nephew (a boomer) and -great-grandnephew (me) for his nephew got wounded and disabled in a border skirmish along the Russian-Chinese border zones. But we paid back every kopecks and rubles he spent for us in our time of need (or cents and dollars in your America) but he told me and my father to use it to help others the way he helped us.

    • @xephael3485
      @xephael3485 2 года назад +1

      @@darthvader5300 it's called a generalization... based off political and economic decisions made while the "boomer" generation has been in power.

    • @whoknowswhocares885
      @whoknowswhocares885 2 года назад +1

      @@xephael3485
      I wasn’t talking to you

  • @stevecannon1774
    @stevecannon1774 Год назад +712

    Josh, not all Boomers are like this. I am a boomer and I have been disowned for 42 years. The only time I hear from “family” is when they want something. I wrote my family off for good along time ago and I have no regrets. I have been with someone wonderful for 39 years now and he is all the family I need. BTW, my moms family is all involved in a religious cult. Getting away from that is the best thing I ever did. Of course my family says if I leave my spouse (we are married) and come back to their religion I would be welcomed with open arms. I told them not to hold their breath.

    • @knice3653
      @knice3653 Год назад +5

      Ok

    • @andrewwadsworth1143
      @andrewwadsworth1143 Год назад +5

      Good for u man I hope I find that same peace one day ur a beautiful example of perseverance

    • @susannehuber3996
      @susannehuber3996 Год назад +6

      You made the RIGHT DECISION❤

    • @dancingcloudlew4311
      @dancingcloudlew4311 Год назад +4

      I hear from mine when someone dies. I still don't get involved. I send something directly to the deceased family and avoid the bullsh**.

    • @power_of_Christ_God
      @power_of_Christ_God Год назад

      Ok

  • @TheStrengthIdiots
    @TheStrengthIdiots 3 года назад +386

    "The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents" - C.Jung

  • @earthwyrm6756
    @earthwyrm6756 Год назад +15

    Your call in sharing this is your choice, no one else's. As Anne Lamott wrote: "You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."
    Your business content is so spot on. I wish you the best.

  • @jomaterik
    @jomaterik 3 года назад +278

    As a mother i just want to hug you, you are an amazing young man and have built up your career, all the while having those people try to drown you...dont feel guilty for saving yourself!!!

    • @barkanellichasingdreams4142
      @barkanellichasingdreams4142 3 года назад

      Good comment Denise😊 I am impressed!

    • @pstewart5443
      @pstewart5443 3 года назад +4

      That's precisely why family like this tear him down. It eats at them, his success in spite of their behavior. He removes their excuses for failure.

    • @barkanellichasingdreams4142
      @barkanellichasingdreams4142 3 года назад +1

      @@pstewart5443 yes🤓

  • @BloodBathFenix
    @BloodBathFenix 3 года назад +287

    The guy that committed fraud, stole and failed to get a job yet kept asking for money:
    "wELcOmE tO LiFE, sOn"

    • @epmcgee
      @epmcgee 3 года назад +24

      That also, at the very least, psychologically abused his son. "I got fucked over so I'm gon' fuck you over."

    • @tinacatharinaeden2711
      @tinacatharinaeden2711 3 года назад

      @@epmcgee which is a very narcissistic character trait. They always blame the other person for doing them wrong, but they will 'get revenge and be sorry'

  • @RiffMaker
    @RiffMaker 2 года назад +736

    I was "disowned" over 12 years ago. Every year my mom shoots me a happy birthday text that I never respond to. There is something inside of me that knows I should never respond or reach out to them and I am much better off without them. BUT... there will always be that sadness of what could/should have been in that romanticized fantasy version, in my head, where family loves unconditionally and always has your best interest at heart. The blood is thicker than water saying is horse shit, people are people regardless of if you met them yesterday or if they gave birth to you. What they do with the relationship is what is important and everyone has the potential to do good or do bad, regardless of "family bond". Spend your time focusing on the good relationships in your life that deserve your attention, fuck all the rest.

    • @river7874
      @river7874 2 года назад +76

      My family LOVES to use the "Blood is thicker than water" quote on me. Problem is, the morons don't actually use the full proper quote.
      The full quote: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
      I left when I was 15. I'm 33 now. Best decision I ever made.

    • @metalgeardull8279
      @metalgeardull8279 2 года назад +34

      Blood is thicker than water, but you can drown in both.

    • @CorruptPianist
      @CorruptPianist 2 года назад +65

      Fun fact, the original phrase was "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," which actually means the bonds you choose are stronger than the bonds you were born with. It's funny that the meaning of it has been reversed, almost like a million gaslighting families twisted it intentionally.

    • @Rexhunterj
      @Rexhunterj 2 года назад +9

      As someone who made the mistake of responding, PLEASE DONT, if you are happy and healthier now than you were then, never go back, please please please look after your self first and foremost, protect yourself from these people.

    • @redclayscholar620
      @redclayscholar620 2 года назад +1

      @@river7874 blood is thicker than water but gold is thicker than both.

  • @thetruegentlemanly
    @thetruegentlemanly Год назад +9

    Bro this one is rough. You’ve done amazing for yourself. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished, and holding yourself to a higher standard.

  • @dhruv1422
    @dhruv1422 2 года назад +194

    Instead of feeling sorry for you, I'm just gonna say YOU'RE FUCKING AMAZING. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes and being as successful as you are ever, you pulled through each and every adversity in your life. Much respect dude

  • @xbonsx
    @xbonsx 3 года назад +406

    Be cautious Josh, don't believe anything they say

    • @JoshuaFluke1
      @JoshuaFluke1  3 года назад +93

      I don't, but I know some of it is true via a few people i still know in GA

    • @chrisstone5743
      @chrisstone5743 3 года назад +77

      @@JoshuaFluke1 A little bit of truth mixed in with distortion can be very, very misleading. Be very, very careful.

    • @beckbabej
      @beckbabej 3 года назад +7

      I'd say it's a pretty good bet that all three of them were already on drugs when they came there.

    • @bobo0202
      @bobo0202 3 года назад +10

      Once people become junkies, they are gone. The people you knew are gone like they are dead. Forget them.

    • @jonmayer
      @jonmayer 3 года назад +11

      This 100%. His dad is just trying to take the blame off of himself by blaming his wife and daughter. He also is dumb enough to think this is fully believable.

  • @magicweaponr072
    @magicweaponr072 3 года назад +231

    "When my ex-girlfriend cheated on me, I wanted to go hug someone, so I went to my dad's house, but he couldn't open because they were doing drugs"
    That hurt so much to hear, it was unbelievable.

    • @kourtneymelton1282
      @kourtneymelton1282 3 года назад +6

      Right? I can't believe some people think this is acceptable and should suck it up because their his parents. Unbelievable.

    • @kenobi-hi7qz
      @kenobi-hi7qz 3 года назад

      What did I just hear?

    • @jimmyrustles914
      @jimmyrustles914 3 года назад +1

      @@kenobi-hi7qz watch the whole video 😔

  • @weeeeee374
    @weeeeee374 Год назад +16

    I've been alone from the age of 17 and I'm very poorly. I have nobody to help me. You'll be stronger alone though. Even though I struggle, everyday I do it alone and I'm proud of it.

    • @Cheeky_Sheikhy
      @Cheeky_Sheikhy 2 месяца назад

      Probably wierd replying a year later, but respect to you

  • @staticnetwork
    @staticnetwork 3 года назад +250

    This makes you realize how some people become homeless.

    • @MiklasBeatBox
      @MiklasBeatBox 3 года назад +5

      In many cases they got what they deserve/been asking for

    • @raiden031
      @raiden031 3 года назад +2

      It's probably the vast majority. When a good person is down on their luck, others want to help them and don't let them end up homeless.

    • @letsgitcrackin
      @letsgitcrackin 3 года назад +14

      @@raiden031 not the case at all. I work in a shelter lol. Most are good people with no family, veterans, and people who’ve had a few disasters happen without time to bounce back

    • @bradswanson7919
      @bradswanson7919 3 года назад +1

      These comments... it's like they think people don't lie.
      They have no family because they've burned bridges. They all say they're veterans.
      I'm sure there are some people, a small number who have a mental illness but I wouldn't be surprised to hear many homeless people are just narcissists who have either burned all bridges with their enablers or their enablers are old and incapacitated or they die.

    • @theshadowfax239
      @theshadowfax239 3 года назад +2

      @@bradswanson7919 I work with the homeless and provide services to the homeless. You're completely incorrect and just assuming without having any factual knowledge and painting some sort of scenario that makes you feel better about yourself. The VAST majority of homeless people are mentally ill.
      You also have a very poor understanding of narcissism if you think a narcissist is going to be homeless...

  • @AlejandroGonzalez-wo5fk
    @AlejandroGonzalez-wo5fk 3 года назад +154

    The problem with doing nice things to people is that the moment you stop doing them they you turn into the bad guy

    • @ShayanAsim
      @ShayanAsim 3 года назад +1

      THIS!

    • @Enlighter
      @Enlighter 3 года назад +1

      Well. Depends on the person.

    • @asadb1990
      @asadb1990 3 года назад +1

      @@Enlighter well when its an expected behavior. things turn sour quick.

    • @klauseba
      @klauseba 3 года назад +1

      it's called manipulation

    • @asadb1990
      @asadb1990 3 года назад

      @wrgvkrizl puzifzx thats what many people who borrow a 20 from people expect.

  • @thewiseone2911
    @thewiseone2911 3 года назад +258

    As someone who grew up with two extremely loving parents this makes me angry beyond words. This might not mean much but I hope you've found your peace or will find it eventually.

    • @WIndtalkerGames
      @WIndtalkerGames 2 года назад +11

      Yeah I believe we got lucky in the parents department.

    • @cobbler9113
      @cobbler9113 2 года назад +7

      I had/have two great parents who’ve always been there for me. My wife’s mother however (I refuse to call her my “mother in law”) is just a horrible human being. I honestly don’t know how my wife came out as such a wonderful and caring person growing up with that.

    • @ReiseLukas
      @ReiseLukas 2 года назад +2

      My dad and I have issues, but nothing this bad. I know my dad truly loves me and wants me to make the best Choices in life but he has a hard time showing it

    • @deadwar2012
      @deadwar2012 2 года назад

      Yeah kills me to know that someone who is supposed help and protect their child is capable of such terrible things. I love my mom and dad, they gave me a home when I was running rough. Why I was running rough? My eldest sister, who I thought I could trust, screwed my financials and mentally abused me when I had moved out of my moms into a bad place. She was a bad fall back into a huge domino effect.

  • @conorcahill5422
    @conorcahill5422 3 месяца назад +1

    'Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child'.
    Let this video be a perfect symbol of such a quote.

  • @missireason8998
    @missireason8998 2 года назад +1612

    Your Dad called you a boy, because that is how he sees you.
    Get the book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson. It WILL help you!!

    • @Rensune
      @Rensune 2 года назад +23

      He's DONE with his parents
      It might help some of the Commenters, though.

    • @Mubiki
      @Mubiki 2 года назад +61

      @@Rensune You can never be completely done with your parents. I understand that logically you can reach a place where you understand that they do not have your best interests at heart and you physically cut them out, but it is nearly impossible to completely reconcile with the fact that the people who are supposed to care for you the most never did. That is something that often never goes away.

    • @Rensune
      @Rensune 2 года назад +7

      @@Mubiki YES, you Can.
      If they're complete PoS (or otherwise severely Unhealthy) and they will Never change, you Should be done with them.
      Unless you want your life to be Tragic.
      And you shouldn't.

    • @Rensune
      @Rensune 2 года назад +7

      @@Mubiki That's not just true of Parents, btw
      Anyone (family member, friend, coworker, etc) who treats you that way When you don't deserve it, and Will Not stop, get away from them.
      Both Physically as well as Emotionally.
      They should be no more than an echo you might think of once every few years.

    • @Mubiki
      @Mubiki 2 года назад +40

      @@Rensune You didn't actually respond to what I said though.
      Most people CAN'T just let it go. That's why it's called trauma lol. What you are doing is the functional equivalent of saying "get over it". It doesn't work that way. It's the ultimate betrayal, and for most people it sticks with them their entire life.
      Cutting someone off, (especially the people who are supposed to love you the most) emotionally is not just something that most people "just do". You would be reminded of it every time the concept of "family" came up in your life. What you are saying is unrealistic. You downplaying that isn't helping anybody.

  • @DANIxDANGER
    @DANIxDANGER 3 года назад +262

    I'm 31, and I just took the step to remove my dad from my life. Blocked all access that he has to me. I've never felt so at peace as I do now. I only wish I had done it sooner. You'll be fine eventually. I promise.

    • @johnsmith-iu1dv
      @johnsmith-iu1dv 3 года назад +8

      Why are people so messed up? What's happened to the families in America? Seriously I hope things go better for you for the rest of your life. You hang in there too

    • @dawnbreak3299
      @dawnbreak3299 3 года назад +7

      Blood doesn't make you family. Its ok to walk away from toxic family. You dont have to love someone just because you share their DNA

    • @tecnofreack1
      @tecnofreack1 3 года назад +1

      @@johnsmith-iu1dv no one has values anymore

    • @MegaBpop
      @MegaBpop 3 года назад

      At this present time unless they all admit they are guilty of their wrong doings and want to change, you will be not accepted as one of them. You can have them all back in your life, but YOU would be living a lie and then end up hating yourself.
      Instead you are choosing to live a good healthy life without lies & harmful habits.
      Trust me, after some time, the next time you interact with them, you will see that they are in the same dysfunctional hole and you will be closer to achieving your personal goals.
      I can say this, bc similar stuff happened to me. I don’t even live in the same town my family does. We didn’t even look for jobs in their city. 26 years later, I have no regrets.
      Sorry for your pin, and yet congratulations for making g yourself first. You seem like a good guy and merits the best in life, be good to yourself. ! 🙏🏼 Will keep you in prayer for peace and happiness.

    • @OatmealTheCrazy
      @OatmealTheCrazy 3 года назад

      Somewhat similarly, I got kicked out by my father.
      I say it's the best thing he ever did for me

  • @leahutto6950
    @leahutto6950 3 года назад +506

    Being a throwaway kid (me), I know the pain. I was put up for adoption because I was born a girl and adopted by people who wanted the American family (they neglected me and allowed abuse) only to realize they couldn't return me to the orphanage because I didn't look like what they wanted. I'm a grandmother now and made a promise to never let anyone EVER feel that pain from me. If you ever need me, I am here.

    • @lilubirb3211
      @lilubirb3211 3 года назад +18

      You're a beautiful person! I hope that your adulthood has been full of love and wonderful chosen "family"

    • @Ritvik117
      @Ritvik117 3 года назад

      God like

    • @Ginlock45
      @Ginlock45 3 года назад +3

      I can understand that pain. My parents wanted me to be a slave. Keep strong, and remember that no matter what you are worthy of love.

    • @4moinak6mitra25
      @4moinak6mitra25 3 года назад

      Love

    • @4moinak6mitra25
      @4moinak6mitra25 3 года назад

      @@lilubirb3211 No need for quotes. Vin deisel agrees with this post.

  • @drrenard1277
    @drrenard1277 Год назад +19

    I came across this and I really feel you. I got manipulated by narcissistic family many times. Getting stabbed made me cut ties. I had to cut friends too cause they got manipulated themselves to tell where I live and other stuff. I had to cut everything just to escape. How people supposed to be family would just do this is unfathomable.

  • @BlankName88
    @BlankName88 2 года назад +324

    You're not alone, man. When I was 16ish, my dad wanted me to sell stolen jewelry. Then called me a coward because I didn't want to take the heat. Among other things. You gotta cut toxic people out of your life for your own sake. But ultimately it's your choice to cut them out.

    • @D1sc0rd-
      @D1sc0rd- 2 года назад +2

      I was toxic at one point as a young teen, should my parents have cut me out? There’s definitely a line to cross in every relationship, where you’re justified in cutting contact, but if we seriously want people to be better and to be better people then we have to be strong enough to forgive people and reconcile if possible.

    • @adopted996
      @adopted996 2 года назад +13

      @@D1sc0rd- hard disagree you should never be held responsible for what others do. Its Thier responsibility to change and no one else's

    • @D1sc0rd-
      @D1sc0rd- 2 года назад

      @@adopted996 Reductive. If you live your life like that you can never have a healthy relationship

    • @BlankName88
      @BlankName88 2 года назад +10

      @@D1sc0rd- big difference between a teen and an adult. And I think you're confusing occasional spit-spats with toxicity.

    • @D1sc0rd-
      @D1sc0rd- 2 года назад +3

      @@BlankName88 No, I’m talking about real evil. Forgiveness is that important. It’s also important to recognize that we aren’t just individuals, we are responsible for a great deal that is beyond our control. Forgiveness isn’t this man going back to his family and giving them money, or even talking to them again, it’s simply about forgiving them and being open to real reconciliation if they’re ready. It’s our responsibility to be strong enough to turn the other cheek and love those who hurt us. That doesn’t mean to have warm feelings for them, it means to love them in the truest sense, want what’s best for them. This guy doesn’t want his mom and sister to be on drugs. He doesn’t want his family to be conniving and screwed up. That’s love.

  • @Donamtrx
    @Donamtrx 3 года назад +106

    There’s no way he hasn’t watched ANY videos. Don’t buy it for a second.

  • @luckyowl6432
    @luckyowl6432 2 года назад +526

    It always amazes me to see people with HORRIBLE parents grow into more pleasant and well adjusted people. You have more redeeming qualities than all of them put together.
    I'm sorry for your stress and thank you for sharing your story.

    • @TheRandomMuffinMan
      @TheRandomMuffinMan 2 года назад +18

      It's because it shows people what they don't want to be and gives immense motivation to the people who come to that realization.

    • @CenPapi
      @CenPapi 2 года назад +4

      Tough times raise strong people, easy times raise weak people.

    • @BouncingTribbles
      @BouncingTribbles 2 года назад +2

      Unfortunately it becomes "what not to be/do". Then you get older and have the scary realization that you're way more like them then you want to admit

    • @boianko
      @boianko Год назад +1

      @@BouncingTribbles Yep, it's like a constant tightrope where you always feel like you're gonna become a copy of them without even noticing.

    • @BouncingTribbles
      @BouncingTribbles Год назад +1

      @@boianko it's also worth keeping in mind though. One of the things that has helped me a lot is realizing that it really was just the one or two behaviors that were the problem. Like having an alcoholic parent; lots of their behaviors were altered by the alcoholism but the core of their personality, that maybe people liked at one point, is still there and that's what you're emulating

  • @LippyHungstocking
    @LippyHungstocking Год назад +7

    I had a similar father. He never apologized once in 50 years about abusing my mother, siblings and me. It's not your fault and do your best to move on. I wrote a letter to my father before his death and even though he never acknowledged it, felt alot better just to get it off my chest.

  • @namedChannel512
    @namedChannel512 3 года назад +185

    Don't fall for his trap. He is only calling you for money. The man doesn't have a soul. He's not worth your time.

    • @ProductofSeebach
      @ProductofSeebach 3 года назад +1

      Hard truth: He is just like his parents, and he is using the skills and experience with emotional manipulation to spin a YT channel. This is the second video I saw from this guy, and already the side bar is full of years of dramatic bullshit about his life with comment sections surging with attention and energy that he is reaping for clicks.

    • @namechanged2024
      @namechanged2024 3 года назад +6

      @@ProductofSeebach damn imagine being a therapist knowing you're making money by banking off the suffering of others what pieces of shit

    • @ProductofSeebach
      @ProductofSeebach 3 года назад +1

      @@namechanged2024 Imagine being an insurance agent, and fear mongering for events that are so improvable and rare that you can build trillion dollar industries betting they never happen.

    • @namechanged2024
      @namechanged2024 3 года назад +3

      @@ProductofSeebach exactly, however in this instance being just like his parents would be asking ppl to donate to support this or some bs he could just be telling the story no?

    • @ProductofSeebach
      @ProductofSeebach 3 года назад +1

      @@namechanged2024 The shear volume of telling personal drama is what raises red flags for me. Everyone has their personal issues, and nobody improves their situation by telling anyone about it in high profile ways for years. Once people get attention and sympathy for bad reasons, it can be addictive, and everyone ends up enabling it.

  • @dehman6836
    @dehman6836 2 года назад +447

    I watched this video and realized that I'm grateful that my parents, my brother, and my little sister would literally give their life for me. I think I took that for granted until I watched this video.

    • @joshuakuehn
      @joshuakuehn 2 года назад +41

      It wasn't until I got older that I realized how lucky I was to have such a healthy and supportive family. Never take anything for granted!

    • @frankbarrie6785
      @frankbarrie6785 2 года назад +16

      That's awesome. I'm happy for you.. and a lil jealous lol. Totally diff situation for me

    • @capolean2902
      @capolean2902 2 года назад

      @@frankbarrie6785 dont be jealous tactical sprint and pop stims like a real nigga

    • @NekoHanyouHanaru
      @NekoHanyouHanaru 2 года назад +7

      Yeah my family is super supportive, I feel so bad for people who have to experience this.

    • @iiiisssssaaaaaacccccc
      @iiiisssssaaaaaacccccc 2 года назад +5

      I’m also grateful that I grew up in a family that everyone support each other and love each other.

  • @jamesbrooks9321
    @jamesbrooks9321 3 года назад +140

    dude is straight up lying to you, he's admitting about things he thinks are "less bad" and deflecting to others to avoid telling you the truth

    • @melgmomma6700
      @melgmomma6700 3 года назад +1

      Bless him he has just wanted to see the good in his family I have an addiction brother my parents always always tried to belive he would stay clean now over 20 years of the same thing over and over my dad is passed and my mom is finally seeing he may always be an addict

    • @moxylady007
      @moxylady007 3 года назад

      Yuuuuup

    • @wabschall
      @wabschall 3 года назад

      The best liars layer their lies in a layer of truth. Expose just enough of the truth to deflect the full effects of their actions.

    • @msuew94
      @msuew94 3 года назад

      When I was in active addiction ( 6 years clean now) I didn’t directly lie especially to my grandparents who I lived with ...I just didn’t talk about it I’d say who I was with or what town I’d be in but wouldn’t say why etc... basically talk around it, they weren’t stupid, they knew that there was a problem....in recovery my gram knows if I avoid the topic that is a red flag because I won’t talk about it if I’m doing it

  • @manoftherainshorts9075
    @manoftherainshorts9075 Год назад +12

    It's kind of normal for parents to be embarrassed by their kids once in a while, but kids being embarrassed of their parents is... wow. I wish you good things in life, friend, you deserve it.

    • @simongloutnez589
      @simongloutnez589 Год назад

      Truth is kids being embarrassed by their parents happen much MUCH more than you think, but this extent is mindboggling

    • @TheRedHorseman1208
      @TheRedHorseman1208 11 месяцев назад

      When a parent realizes their kid is ashamed of them... it's gotta be soul-crushing

  • @wehavebiscuits
    @wehavebiscuits 3 года назад +66

    A person being unable to say sorry is usually a very clear sign they're a narcissist

  • @tonycastro-ramirez659
    @tonycastro-ramirez659 3 года назад +337

    A lot of people never been through this think its easy to just forget about your family. It's not. But by venting you are working on processing it

    • @geoffdundee
      @geoffdundee 3 года назад +6

      Tony Castro-Ramirez
      .......ive been through similar shit and have not spoken to most of my family for over 35 years...........sometimes you have to stop venting though and get on with your life and forget about the past and them.......my ex family have never had a contact number for me and dont know my address - they have no need to have it - i honestly do not care if any of them die - i will not be there - i decided long ago that nobody gets to use me or abuse me in any way.........i have a fantastic life without them.

    • @epmcgee
      @epmcgee 3 года назад +3

      There are people who think the easier or better option is to stay, to work on things. They don't realize that walking away is hard, but it's easier than the life experienced up until now.

    • @laamrah9405
      @laamrah9405 3 года назад +3

      Ur so strong i wanna do the same but they fucking with ur sanity and say to u you will never able to live in peace and happiness they are so controlling and ur only free when they finally die🤢😡

    • @epmcgee
      @epmcgee 3 года назад +3

      @@laamrah9405 the fact that they were fucking with my sanity is the reason I left. One of the last things my father said to me is that the hate I have will poison my life.
      So I stopped hating them and let go.
      I hope you find the strength and ability to move beyond them well before they die.

    • @strangemanmtd8350
      @strangemanmtd8350 3 года назад

      it was imteresting watching this very emotional but all those ads killed me.

  • @ellyshaker
    @ellyshaker 3 года назад +326

    Oh you will never hear an apology from narcissistic people,they do not see a problem in their behavior and this to be family is awful I have similar experience

    • @MT-rg2qz
      @MT-rg2qz 3 года назад +4

      Exactly

    • @Hollytargaryen
      @Hollytargaryen 3 года назад +8

      My mom

    • @solarnaut
      @solarnaut 3 года назад +1

      it's a lot easier to be forgiving and understanding
      when illness is crippling and a lot harder
      when it causes them to throw darts at you ! B-)

    • @sinwolf5539
      @sinwolf5539 3 года назад

      So true !

  • @AreoSky
    @AreoSky Год назад +7

    im sorry josh, im really glad you can be open about this and tell us. I hope people learn from your wounds

  • @JakeTilk
    @JakeTilk 3 года назад +411

    The RUclips family you’ve built has got you. ❤️

    • @1013katya
      @1013katya 3 года назад +11

      RUclips fam, lets start a sign up sheet for who gets Josh and HR lady for each holiday/life milestone ❤

  • @credman
    @credman 3 года назад +514

    "How ya doin', BOY?"
    "Bye, loser."
    Hangs up, blocks number.

    • @goosebyte
      @goosebyte 3 года назад +26

      Yep, when narcissist parents go to reach out to mend fences and gain access to free money again, they just cant help but to slip in little "fuck you"s or "I was right and you were wrong but I forgive you so its ok now give me money please!" the only ONLY way to go is to cut them out 110% and pretend they all died.

    • @angelaengle12
      @angelaengle12 3 года назад +6

      That's how it should of ended. xD But heck, might as well milk him for content the way he milked Josh of money, lol.

    • @heyhoe168
      @heyhoe168 3 года назад +10

      "Are you winning son?"

    • @tylerminix2028
      @tylerminix2028 3 года назад +7

      That's how a lot of southern dad's talk to their sons. My grandad still refers to my dad as his "boy." That being said, the rest of the conversation proves Josh's dad is an ass. My guess: His dad ran out of drug money, needed more, and called for only that reason.

    • @EnjoyGengar
      @EnjoyGengar 3 года назад

      @@goosebyte But they are dead in my eyes

  • @willmcgee45
    @willmcgee45 3 года назад +361

    Dad: “you wanna talk or not, bc I got other things to do”
    Son: “well. Bye.”

    • @pdorism
      @pdorism 2 года назад +13

      Yeah I would have hung up right then and there

    • @ThanxBeToGod
      @ThanxBeToGod 2 года назад +8

      A laconic reply is best:
      Hang up.

    • @TheKenab
      @TheKenab 2 года назад +5

      He should have said 'well you called me...when you're oh so f'n busy... bye!'

    • @angelicamichelle1646
      @angelicamichelle1646 2 года назад

      Drugs are a possion drug addiction is a possession just like being possessed by the devil they're possessed by some kind of demon

    • @blinkingred
      @blinkingred 2 года назад +1

      Yeah. By responding it gives the dad power and the dad is the beggar here.

  • @matyasselmek3673
    @matyasselmek3673 Год назад +16

    I feel really sorry for you, my mother is an alcoholic and she threw me out the house when I was 18 and still studying high school. Don't ever talk to them!

  • @vincewhite5087
    @vincewhite5087 3 года назад +126

    Narcissistic offenders always feel entitled & feel the world revolves around them.

  • @h3m1cuda
    @h3m1cuda 3 года назад +81

    I love how the abusers become the victims when the actual victim stands up for themselves. Growing up, my family taught me that they were the most important thing and that family always takes care of family. As an adult, I learned that family were the best people to take advantage of me. My life has been so much better without them.

    • @MsFlamingFlamer
      @MsFlamingFlamer 2 года назад +1

      Same. My family is mad I never trauma bonded with them and I’m not around to be an emotional punching bag or to be manipulated. The ones who’ve stayed are all trauma-bonded and continue to use and manipulate each other. Nobody is living a good life and it’s just constant scheming and trash talking.

  • @emilyperkins5108
    @emilyperkins5108 3 года назад +190

    As a mom, I can't imagine how any parent can treat their children like anything except their child! I hope you know that family can be who you want. You don't have to surround yourself with toxic people because they're related to you! I may be an internet stranger, but I'm sending you a hug and love from a Mom!

  • @twitchytwist3921
    @twitchytwist3921 Год назад +5

    That hurts, man. I'm sorry for what you endured. Stay strong, brother.

  • @diogenesesenna9323
    @diogenesesenna9323 3 года назад +130

    This Dad wants to say something to you ...
    Keep heart son, you are loved and you are respected. I wish I could hug you and tell you that it's going to alright.

  • @kiyazaki1668
    @kiyazaki1668 3 года назад +162

    when they said "boredom" that's user language for addiction. he is 100% a user as well. It is either that or he's a psychopath to let his wife and daughter do this off you and your familys money. your story helps so many people tho and you are a good person please don't beat urself up you only had good intentions.

    • @PuddilyOops
      @PuddilyOops 3 года назад +13

      These are grown people with adult kids. I can’t imagine being like, I need a new hobby, heroin sounds fun. My old house was a foreclosure that we bought. The previous owner did the same thing, he was an older man who had retired and started smoking crack for something to do. Sadly he went to jail at 60 and passed away there. What about woodworking or model trains Dude? It’s Crazy.

    • @oldg8607
      @oldg8607 3 года назад

      👍 agreed.

  • @MichaelAivaliotis
    @MichaelAivaliotis 3 года назад +268

    You’re a dad. Your son is begging you for an apology and you refuse him that simple request. Wow. And then claim to be talking “man to man”. GTFO.

    • @MediocreTCG
      @MediocreTCG 3 года назад +4

      I'd love 5 mins alone with his dad...

    • @jacobjackson8619
      @jacobjackson8619 3 года назад +14

      apology is the strength of a real man

    • @MediocreTCG
      @MediocreTCG 3 года назад +1

      @@jacobjackson8619 very true.

    • @sharishth
      @sharishth 3 года назад +1

      @@MediocreTCG I second that plus with humility and acknowledgements.

    • @thapthoptheep2076
      @thapthoptheep2076 3 года назад

      @@MediocreTCG For what purpose would you want 5 minutes alone with this guy?

  • @sirnuggets9666
    @sirnuggets9666 Год назад +8

    You're not dumb. We're all still learning. Listening to your viewers shows true humanity and I'm glad you see the wisdom in that. It's okay man, we've got your back, always.

  • @Lifrit
    @Lifrit 3 года назад +431

    You don't get to pick the family you're born into but if you're lucky you'll get to pick how you live the rest of your life.

    • @KOBEASTXIV
      @KOBEASTXIV 3 года назад +6

      facts

    • @tatsmcfatty
      @tatsmcfatty 2 года назад +1

      You don't get to pick the family you're born into, but you do get to pick how long you put up with their shit.

  • @sammadlin8868
    @sammadlin8868 3 года назад +205

    Oh and the "I was trying to protect them because they stole from drug a drug dealer"
    Yeah, my sister and her boyfriend gave the same story, turns out it was a lie to make us panic and give them money to get them out of danger. It didnt work, but don't underestimate the manipulation from an addict.

    • @kyleanuar9090
      @kyleanuar9090 3 года назад +3

      They're genius on lies to get off and I've lived amongst them yet still I pity them and just gave . Were human with humanity to our fallen brothers.

    • @myentertainment55
      @myentertainment55 3 года назад +1

      Thank you for sharing.
      I would totally believed and gave in.

    • @Jeru3
      @Jeru3 3 года назад +1

      It’s an addict projecting their paranoia.

    • @RyanEdwardNason
      @RyanEdwardNason 3 года назад +2

      When someone becomes an addict, their addiction becomes the only thing that matters. Its sad, but the shit will literally take control of you. Because as soon as they start withdrawing they feel like they are going to die.

  • @OliverFoote
    @OliverFoote 3 года назад +172

    Hard to believe this is real life. Never taking my parents for granted

  • @patricknez7258
    @patricknez7258 Год назад +4

    Dang dude I'm sorry to hear this. Much respect for being to open and vulnerable and honest. You're way braver and more mature than your dad and grandparents imo

  • @FOVoid
    @FOVoid 2 года назад +325

    Unpopular opinion: An apology is worthless, because that behaviour is not excusable. It won´t make the past suddenly disappear.
    I´m sorry that you had to endure that shit. Hope you will get over it, if not seek help.

    • @OrionPax1303
      @OrionPax1303 2 года назад +3

      So is punishment, therefore attornment is best path

    • @MasterGhostf
      @MasterGhostf 2 года назад +18

      In the bible, there was one story. The gist of it was the appropriate amount of "apologies" was 77. Until then it isn't to be treated as true. The only way to be truly apologetic, is to fix the issue and "repay" the debt.

    • @belfreak_386
      @belfreak_386 2 года назад

      Exactly

    • @Second_Splitter
      @Second_Splitter 2 года назад +3

      Only is worth something if not only they acknowledge their screw ups, but if they show it in the future.

    • @epope98
      @epope98 2 года назад +2

      @@MasterGhostf yea bud you totally missed the point thats not what it ment. it meant if the fucked up 77 or a million times and they asked forgiveness you are to forgive because you are forgiven. it is the same way that we do god wrong so when we ask for forgiveness and receive it we inturn are to forgive what ever wrong is done to us.

  • @rigby0world1
    @rigby0world1 3 года назад +132

    Dude, from an old engineer with a family that did similar things, I want to say you are a shining light and are heading in an amazing direction. Kudos to you for being that strong!

    • @ruby1037
      @ruby1037 3 года назад

      Rob Meyers how kind of you to reach ouch to Joshua....

  • @ullahoffmann6307
    @ullahoffmann6307 3 года назад +266

    I just hope you have a therapist - one does need professional help - what you go through is really traumatic - please take good care. All the best!

    • @TV-ob1if
      @TV-ob1if 3 года назад +4

      Agree 100

    • @samuelsavary4895
      @samuelsavary4895 3 года назад +3

      Therepy is worthless

    • @cybeast0076
      @cybeast0076 3 года назад +3

      Waste of money
      Everyone who knows basic common sense knows what's good for them, he himself knows he's fine

    • @TV-ob1if
      @TV-ob1if 3 года назад +7

      @@cybeast0076 yeah.....he's "fine". I'm not sure you know what common sense means...

    • @cybeast0076
      @cybeast0076 3 года назад

      @@TV-ob1if well what you said has some meaning since if they are born taught that doing wrong things is normal it will be seen as common sense, well USA is in a fucked up state now so pretty sure it doesn't matter anyways

  • @annnoyes6915
    @annnoyes6915 Год назад +4

    First time I’ve seen one of your videos. This makes me cry. The pain you’re displaying is heartbreaking. Please find a way to heal. You seem to be a loving, caring son. You should know that most parents would feel proud and fortunate to call you their son. ❤️

  • @dreaminlayers
    @dreaminlayers 3 года назад +193

    Don't call them your "family" anymore. They aren't. Your family is right there in that house with you. They are what you need and they are there for you. THAT is family. 💖

    • @mikel9912
      @mikel9912 3 года назад +3

      Wedding bells for him in future I see :) happy endings 💙

    • @maedre9330
      @maedre9330 3 года назад

      @@mikel9912 lmao he wont even marry. Hes made a video about that

  • @airplanetowardsthesky3265
    @airplanetowardsthesky3265 3 года назад +59

    It amazes me how you are closer to an actual Christian in how honest and caring of a person you are compared to your terrible family who claims to be religious

  • @lauraweiss7875
    @lauraweiss7875 3 года назад +123

    I was raised by parents who thought it was a child’s responsibility to support their parents. It never made sense to me. Now I have three adult children of my own. They don’t owe me anything. They are my legacy, and I would do anything for my kids.

    • @tomfreakingford
      @tomfreakingford 3 года назад +6

      Beautiful mother with a beautiful heart. Thank you kind lady for carrying your spirt so sweetly. It means a lot to the people without great family situations

    • @icecold9511
      @icecold9511 3 года назад +1

      It is biblical. A parent lays up for their children. Though I hate kids with a shovel in hand.

    • @savetrump1088
      @savetrump1088 3 года назад

      @@icecold9511 funny. Thats how my brother and sister were when our parents got old.

    • @Katya_Lastochka
      @Katya_Lastochka 2 года назад

      Well that applies to elderly or handicapped parents.

  • @debbieschultz9768
    @debbieschultz9768 Год назад +8

    I have had a lot of therapy in my life. One thing I learned is we pick our friends, not our family. Just because they are family doesn’t mean you have to be around for the toxic times. I walked away and it’s alright to do that. I would rather live by myself than to be around them. Do what you have to. Don’t feel guilty, it’s a wasted emotion!!