my family disowned me...EVEN MORE LIES! |
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Josh, you are Grieving. When there are getting sudden memories, you will have "grief bursts" It does get better and they'll become less painful.
Also how quick his emotions jump from one another and it’s not a build up it might be some mild bi polar disorder.
Yes, been through it.. You are never the same but it does get easier.
@@brianlopez1340 that’s not how bipolar works... bipolar is long term emotions shifts described as depressive episodes, then they become baseline, then shift again. Some even have “manic” episodes which give heightened emotions and enegry that could last for days, with that person not sleeping.. it’s very different from what you think it is.
@@brianlopez1340 No. It is emotional upheaval!!!!!
Emotional flashbacks
I'm just sharing what deceit via drugs looks like. I was too naïve to ever think drugs was the issue. If you're in a similar situation maybe you can see some patterns and symptoms I was totally unaware of. Here's the number if you or anyone you know is struggling - 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
You are there last line of help, try to get them to a Drug Clinic. Don't talk to them when they are high
A recommendation of youtube vids you could watch about the type of drugs your dad was/has been getting into would be cg kids RUclips channel he’s an ex addict which explains the effects and how it makes you feel from a first hand/scientific point of view. It’s very educational and might make the things your father did make some small amount of sense. Not forgivable but just might help things make more sense.
Just give it time man, you're gonna go through all of this and heal. It sucks that these tragedies happened to you and your family but life is rough, worry about your own well-being now and your own family. (The one you're gonna make with your girlfriend)
This keeps on getting bigger, it's good to hear how supportive HR-lady's family is. But f*, this is heavy. Take good care of yourself, you're worth so much more than you got from them, and I hope you know that through and through. You say that you feel like saying you have any form of PTSD is an insult to others. Please don't think that way, because if you were to have PTSD it really doesn't matter how big the things are that you went through. What matters is that you deserve to deal with this in a way that is healthy for you. Maybe you have PTSD, maybe not. Either way it isn't an insult. I think sharing this will help a lot of people, thank you for sharing this with us.
I too have been disowned.
Success has been even sweeter than I could have known.
Also, being in a drug addicted family IS traumatic. Validating yourself and acknowledging your trauma is a necessary part of the process of healing.
Sounds like you're grieving. People don't have to die for you to feel grief, like the end of any relationship. You're allowed to work through this any way you need, there's no time scale, no tick box, just keep talking to those you love and trust.
Sending strength.
Yes agree I just commented this!
This kind of grief can be the hardest because they’re technically still there, so you go into this conflict of wanting resolution but you can’t get it. There’s no closure. And people don’t seem to get that until they end up dealing with it in the most horrible way.
U are lucky to have HR & HR's family for support.
Yes
Not lucky but blessed 💗
Please move from "Family Disowned Me" to "I Disowned My Family".
It's to late. This man doesn't need that garbage in his life anyway. Freaking leaches will suck the life out of someone. I don't need to hear their side of the story. I will never believe them. I never understood how someone could do this to their own son. Grow up. You could destroy this man's life and suck out all his life savings and it would never be enough for them.
@@harmonyjacobs3777 I don’t think they mean it in a bad way, he is the one who finally put his foot down and that’s not a bad thing what is bad is him being put in this position to begin with parents should never do this to their children
@@msuew94 your only repeating what I said. That's what I said. Your just saying it in a different wording
Second this
Fr
I really hate the way your grandparents have gas lighted you. I would tell them they should do a reverse mortgage on their home so they can fiance their drug addicted children. I hate how your family act like hungry vultures for your money. Be gone vultures , be gone !!!
This! 👏👏👏👏👏
I'm seriously writing that on my tax forms.
Josh should tell them that he's built up a bad gambling habit, and has lost all his money at the casino.
I would only connect back with this family only if (verifiable) they aren't going to pull you down with them.
That's a great idea. Put up or shut up, gramps.
I understand what you're going thru. My daughter is a heroine addict. I've had to distance myself from her because of the way she treats me. I to suffer from PTSD. I panic when my cell phone rings. I will help her get help if she ask but other then that I want no contact from her. I miss my daughter and feel like she is gone forever. Grieving for someone who is still alive is hard.
Amen to that
You are doing the right thing.
She has to hit her rock bottom, before she'll cry out for help.
Until Then stay safe, try to live your life. 🌻
At the moment there is not a thing you can do.
Boy, that was my story for so long!
I'm going through similar. It's been 7 yrs. estranged from on of my sons due to his lifestyle/associations. Too dangerous to have around, so had to distance in love and prayers for reunification one day. Am always available for true help, but not to be manipulated into being their buyer, just like Josh and his clan. "Tough love". I can't watch nor aid in the deadly show, but door always open if coming back to the real world a true goal/desire. So far, no luck. I keep tabs from behind the scenes, but only a user can make the call to quit. Hard when surrounded by other users, but not my choice to make. I say, "i'm mourning those not dead, and dead to those who don't mourn.". So hard to see your child go this route. The pain of drug use on the loved ones of the users cannot be denied. Drugs are NOT a "victimless crime". There are MANY victims along the line. Sry. you too go through this. Sry. anyone does. GL&TC and focus on the life God gave YOU. Self care is vital, and most victims don't value themselves enough to do this, abusing themselves further. Hope all works out well in the end. {{hugz}}
Praying yahushua (jesus)will deliver your daughter from the drugs and demons. I'm in recovery and my ex is in jail . (fentanyl) God brings the most peace. God bless.
My mother is a narcissist. Cut them out, block their numbers, break the chains. They will reap what they've sewn
Such a sad story of a child thinking the best and doing the most for his family, to slowly realizing the horrible truth... stay strong josh and keep on moving forward
If you want to be remembered, borrow money.
If you want to be forgotten, loan it.
How poignant coming from someone in a vegetative state
No offense, but this sounds quite like victim blaming
@@progressivedragon6664 if you loan financially unstable people money, expect them to default. And it will be your fault. 100% preventable!
It's like that scene in A Bronx Tale where Sonny tells the main character, "For twenty bucks, you got rid of him."
@@progressivedragon6664 it's kind of on the same level as leaving your car running while you go to the store.
The thief shouldn't have stolen it, but let's be honest, it was REALLY easy for you to prevent his from happening.
You're not stupid. My sister convinced me, for years, that the meth or crack or whatever, was the scented candles she had all over her house.😔
When you dont know the what the symptoms are from or what to look for it is easy not to see it even when you notice minor odd things.
Why would she not throw them away if they were making her look like that?
I have been following the story of your life. I married into a dysfunctional family and i got out after 14 years. I have 2 wonderful sons from that marriage. My oldest is your age. I worked 2 jobs to raise them. I would do anything for them. I cannot understand how any parent could do this to family. If you ever want to talk to a mom, I am a phone call away. And if you need a virtual hug from a mom, , its here for you. If you want a candy bar, it will be in the mail tomorrow 😄 Take care and stay strong. Don't ever apologize for talking about your feelings, i wish more people could.
This! Don't these videos make you feel so justified getting divorced? That severe narcissism. Had to give my boys a fighting chance to not be raised with it.
so wholesome, are you an angel?
@@seedboy5948 angel, no. Willing to help anyone, if I can. Yes.
u a real one 🥹
Seriously get a therapist man. You're a strong man and this is so tough but I think you should have someone help you and make sure you're right.
He's seeing one.
@@thedude8526 Thanks for telling us.
Josh is right!! This is quite obvious!
Good advice. Glad he’s getting help.
Therapists are a joke. People only say to get a therapist cause they've been conditioned by society to incorrectly believe they work. Get a good friend to listen for free.
He may be your dad, but he's certainly not a father.
its the other way around
Looking back on it now, all of it makes sense. It seemed almost too bad and dramatic but now it all ties together in a super rational way
"other people have it worse" ...honey, how much worse does it have to be? You're such a kind young man, you deserve so much more kindness for yourself.
I have ptsd from childhood trauma and neglect, those flashbacks are how I'd describe my episodes. Your ptsd is unique. My flashbacks may be more graphic but that doesn't mean yours isn't valid. You deserve help, if you're hurting there's trauma, if there's trauma, there's ptsd.
Look into the work of former psychologist Alice Miller. It will help you with your trauma.
One of the best things you’ll ever do is completely cut them all off! Sadly they will eventually overdose! There’s only a small percentage of addicts who get clean but your family are all enabling and co-enabling each other. They will forever blame each other for relapsing if they ever clean up! I love your “therapy” rants!!! Stay strong, positive and most of all NORMAL! Having a messed up family myself makes me appreciate your normalcy! Proud of you!❤️
He can't cut them off, easier said than done, it's like asking someone to cut his arm off, yes it might be infected, but most ppl can't make the cut themselves
I only disagree on one point. They won't blame each other for relapsing, they will blame him for the relapse, and use that to try and guilt trip him to get their way.
Family usually leaves a permanent scar
@@mathplusgames9964 naw it's really easy once you realise that they are pieces of shit.
It's actually not like an arm. More like a leech. All you have to do is find the right method and it falls right off!
He can’t cut them off because he needs some content for RUclips
When you said "Get out of the way, I can't see the TV", it really hit home. It's a sour reminder of a childhood where the person you're by nature meant to look up to, discards you as someone of lesser value than a stream of entertainment. Something I'll never forgive for and you shouldn't either. The sad thing is to think that we're worth nothing more to our parents than the extremely short pleasure of sex and the 18 years after that is to them nothing but an attempt to either fix their own failures through their off-spring or discard them.
I finally cut all contact with my parents at 20 and went to the other side of the planet, despite knowing no1 here just so I no longer have to survive and actually have the opportunity to thrive on my own terms.
In Japan there's a 4-2-1 problem that refers to 1 grandchild taking care of 2 parents and 4 grandparents. Often these people don't have kids themselves, are extremely burnt out and have seemingly become soulless shells of what they once were or could've been. They're at heightened risk of suicide as they simply can't endure the responsibility on their shoulders, trying to work it all out.
Please take care of yourself first, even if it means complete removal of your biological family from your life. I've seen the ledge too many times and decided not to take the leap. It only takes one time to slip. You have found your new family, let them love you the way you always wanted to be. They will.
Sorry this is so long, but if anyone thinks Joshua is exaggerating because "families aren't that bad to each other", take the time to read this brief version of my situation. And just an FYI - I start this story after 42 YEARS of what Joshua has been going through for just a few.
My dad had three "heart attacks" and two "strokes", then two rounds of "lung failure" due to COPD in the span of 4 years, all of which required at least two days in ICU per episode. I was an emotional disaster because I lived out of state for most of that, with no way to get home. Family members called me selfish, hateful, and a horrible daughter when I wouldn't sell my only car in order to get a plane ticket home. One plane ticket, just for me, so I could come "help figure things out" for them. I had three teenaged boys, and was a single mom living 1700 miles away during that time. They didn't care. Dad was suffering, and so were they, and it was MY fault. My mother and three siblings all lived in the same town, but they needed ME to come fix things. Again.
A couple of years later, when I finally returned to the area of my hometown, I learned that my dad only had one heart attack, the very first one. EVERYTHING after that was NOT what my mother and siblings told me it was. In reality, he was OD-ing on "oxy". They knew he was taking a crap-ton of pills, and they acted like that was totally not the problem. On two occasions, he was taken to the ER by ambulance, and admitted into the ICU. Both of those times, I didn't find out until he had been there for at least two days. The doctors were struggling to figure out why he kept having "convulsions" and "hallucinations." I didn't know that not a single person in my family had bothered to tell the doctors that dad was taking five to six times the amount of pain pills he was prescribed. When I asked if he was really having convulsions, or could it just be DTs, the nurse got PISSED. She took me to a private room and called a whole herd of doctors in for a meeting with me. They asked me a million questions, and were completely surprised by my answers. NO ONE in my family, that was there EVERY DAY, had bothered to tell them that he had OD'd before, and they made the ambulance take him to a different hospital every time.
Dad was released from the hospital THE FOLLOWING DAY, both times this happened. They gave him some kind of drug to counteract the withdrawals, and sent him home. I was then bombarded with text messages, phone calls, and on-line harassment from my family, because the medical staff told the rest of the family what I said about the pills he was taking. Even though that information saved him from suffering, and one of those times I was told it saved his LIFE, "I" was the bad guy.
There were other instances of mental, emotional, and verbal abuse by my family, that was taking place in the same 2 years as those ICU stays. On one of those occasions, my sister called my son and told him that he was not "allowed" to invite me to his wedding, or the rest of the family wouldn't show up. He told her to disregard the invitation she had received, and tell everyone else in the family who felt the same as she did to disregard theirs as well. My mother showed up anyway, got drunk, and cussed me out because I was sitting at the same table as the wedding party, right next to the bride's parents. She basically yelled to everyone that I had ruined my son's wedding, because I wouldn't stay home so the rest of the family could come. Yeah, it was all MY fault. My son had her escorted out of the building, and he didn't see her again until my grandfather, his great-grandfather, passed away a couple of years later. I was 46 years old when I finally cut ties with my entire family. I've only seen my mother about 5 times in 9 years. I've only seen my sisters twice - at the funerals of my grandfather and my dad. I am much better off now, than I was 9 years ago.
The most important thing anyone in this situation needs to remember is that NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. No matter what they say, or how they try to turn things around and gaslight you, it's not you. It's HARD to walk away. The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was change my phone number, and only tell my kids the new number. None of my friends or other family members had any direct way to call me FOR YEARS. They called one of my kids, and I called back from that kid's phone. (FYI- My kids were all over 20 and living on their own at this point). It's really hard to see my grandkids, and know that they have a great-grandmother who has never seen 5 out of the 7 of them. She is entirely too toxic to even take small children around her.
The last time my son took his two kids (5yo & 3yo) over there, she started to tell them what a horrible person I was, and how they needed to be careful or I would hurt them. None of my kids have taken their kids to see her since. I am not that kind of person. They know it, and I know it. Over the years, other family members have come to see the bullcrap I had to deal with for most of my life, and some of them have apologized for ever believing my family over me. Time will prove it all out. People will see how their problems continue even after you've been out of the picture for months. People will see that YOU continue to grow, mature, and become a better human being, all while they stagnate, or sink lower into their narcissism and lies.
Literally, change your number and just stop thinking of them as family. I "converted" mine into neighbor-like people in my head. They were involved in my youth, and we had some good times, but once I moved away from them, they just weren't important anymore. You wouldn't dwell on being treated like crap for three minutes by a stranger in a store, and that's how you have to think of them. IT IS SOOOOO HARD to just walk away, but you CAN do it. You HAVE to do it, if you want to save yourself.
I was going to type a lot of things. then my mind blanked. there is so much to talk about regarding this general issue and topic and so much nuance within I doubt a youtube comment would ever suffice.
My family is not that bad, both my parents are great but they have their flaws.
I started recognizing some of their flaws and working around it, being able to love them tolerate and respect them despite those flaws. while actively shielding myself for manipulation.
my dad is addicted to smoking and my mom is most likely bipolar and has a severe attachment issue where she prevents me from trying to learn skills that would help me become independent and leave the house. my dad is over all amazing but his smoking issue is making his heal worsen rapidly. sometimes when he gets angry at me about something and starts saying that he might get a stroke. I can instantly tell he is subconsciously gas light me into thinking it is my fault that he is getting angry and that getting angry will lead him to a stroke. when i point out that it is the smoking that is making him feel this way, he says i would not smoke if you stopped making me mad. in a situation like this I learned to start disattaching from the responsibility that he puts upon me unfairly in this case. without engaging in argument I just start ignoring whatever he is spouting. as for my mother I also shield myself whenever she tries to appeal to my emotions. for example: she sometimes says "what will I do if you leave us". I avoid answering the question because anything I say will lead to an argument. I instead justify in my head that I am the child in this case and I should not try to "fix" my parents and try to parent them instead. that will only lead to pain and suffering. most of the time when dealing with people who try to manipulate you. if you just suppress your emotions a bit and try to no engage in a mind games where the end result is always loss. you would do better for yourself. in the case of my parents I believe that they do not realize what they are doing wrong. but I know that it is not my job to fix it.
It took me 2 years to stop having those random moments of realisations of lies clicking into their spot in my brain. They used to stop my world and take my breath, those moments did space out overtime. I'm still dealing with the fallout as my ex turned my child against me.
Recently found out my mom is a meth head and I’ve been defending her to people my entire life. Her friends confirmed. She used to sing “Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me, Guess I’ll go eat worms” and cry and guilt trip me as a child about how I’d be better off with her dead. Most toxic human I’ve bet met but yours take the cake. 😔
Drugs make people numb to others. It kind of explains a lot of what you went through.
This is a direct quote someone I am close to received from her Therapist regarding someone in life that is toxic "No amount of dopamine will make communicating with that person enjoyable or healthy for you."
I lost my mom to drugs. My dad told me that after I was born, he asked her to choose between me and drugs/partying. Of course she didn't choose me. She knew where we lived so she popped randomly to ask for money. The last time I saw her she showed up high/drunk off something. I was home alone and didn't let her in. She kept yelling me because she was mad because "someone" told her that I said that I hated her because she left me. That shit was painful. I haven't seen her since and I don't even know if she is alive or not.
I said all that to say that you are not alone. Some of us were born to parents that don't deserve us. Luckily i had my dad. I'm so glad you have found a loving HR Lady and her family. I wish you nothing but love and success and send virtual hugs.
@Joetoy90 Your dad did the right thing
It’s so awful I can hear the pain in your voice. These things take time and as you have said the memories that come in your mind will get less and less but it’s still raw. Keep talking and doing what you’re doing as it will help you recover from this trauma you are going through 💕
Some people survive horrible families. Dont let them destroy your future. Its difficult but you are doing it. You can still love them but you are now seeing what a family that is different is like. Do not let the dysfunction ruin your life. You can get some counseling for yourself too.
This story should be shared more. Karma is going to FUCK them up. I feel sorry for everything that happened to you.
Karma doesn't exists. Their drug addiction will likely come back to hit them, but that's not karma, that's bad life choices.
Seems like karma is already fucking them up
Addiction is terrible...be it drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, if not treated will absolutely destroy the user and his close one...It's tragic really. At least you're not enabling their addictions anymore, maybe they will get it control or be overbtaken over but you must heal and put some space between them and you. Your emotions and reactions are valid and you must not repress them.
You're grieving dude. It's a big shock to process.
Man this is heartbreaking to see, they really screwed you up inside, I know this feeling very well unfortunately.
I hope after you've processed all their lies completely, you can put them out of your mind and feel normal again in your daily life. You dont deserve to have mood shifts like this man, they should be the ones feeling bad, not you.
My family was very dysfunctional as well. The best thing that you can do for yourself is re parent yourself and never look at yourself as a victim but someone who overcame. I hope that everything turns out well for you.
I’m so glad you connected to the equal nature of PTSD. You helped thousands of people start to heal. Like me.
People with good parents will never understand what it's like to be raised by a bad father.
My father still gives me a hard time every time I meet him, and I'm 31 years old.
... mostly like a npd - narcissist
why do you meet him then? why you allow such things in your life?
@@DanteTheSimpSlayer I see him maybe 1-2 times a month. Don't really care about his opinions anymore
Hey man, I don't do the whole comment on RUclips thing, mainly because I overthink what I’m going to say despite being shielded from internet anonymity, but I've been following all these videos since the beginning and felt compelled to weigh in.
At one time in my life, drugs were the most important thing to me. I hurt the people I cared about most just to get high. However, things today are completely different. I haven’t taken any drugs in over 10 years, and that’s primarily because the people that loved me the most stopped enabling me and tolerating my shitty and fucked up behavior.
I really just wanted to say a few things from the perspective of someone that would consider themselves to have been in your parent’s/sister’s position at one point:
- You did the right thing. You’re not an idiot for not seeing this behavior. They’ve lived their lives manipulating you and hiding this from you. Hindsight is 20/20. I’m sure you already know this.
- Addicts are selfish to the core, and we also are the last people to find out that we are (if we don’t die first).
- We are “sick” people. We make choices to fix a self-perceived deficiency within ourselves, and those choices are to the detriment of everyone around us. This is not to say we should not take responsibility for what we’ve done. It’s actually the opposite (at least it better be if we are clean).
- IF (and I know it’s a big fucking if) you ever take a call from your mom, dad, or sister again in the future, you’ll know a proper apology when you hear one. You’ve already mentioned what it would sound like in your previous videos. And you know what, when they finish their apology, they’ll also ask you if they missed anything, and will ask you to tell them if you feel so inclined. But more importantly, you won’t care about their apology as much as you care about what they are actually doing behind that apology.
- Life can be a painful thing for everyone. We’ve all got our own struggles. But, I am not a victim, and I am not without responsibility for my actions. The same goes for them.
Thank you for reminding me why I stay clean today (and reminding me how I used to be - your dad’s behavior is textbook). If I had to guess, I would say that somewhere deep down your parents and sister really care about you, and they truly want to fulfill the roles you wanted them to have in your life. But none of that matters to you if their actions don’t show that. They are drug addicts, and that’s what will always come first to them as long as they keep using. Every. Fucking. Time. I hope it’s clear that I’m not excusing the years of wrongs that they have done to you. Neither you nor anyone else deserves that. They’ve got their own journey to live to repair the wrong things that they have done, whether you decide to talk to them ever again or not.
On a lighter note, I’m super stoked that you’ve got people around you that love and support you, and I don’t even know you. The internet is weird like that. Peace and love.
My parents aren’t junkies but I had to disown them too, for similar character trait. I think not becoming like your parents is the best motivator, worked for me.
Is it possible his drug use started when he had his engineering job and he was fired after a random drug test?
This is what I was thinking, or quit because of the pressure he was causing due to his own performance decline. I have seen it firsthand.
@@nickhalka Iv'e seen that and it was only under the influence of cannabis.
@@nutcracker2916 haha haha weed really? Haha
@@jemmastone11 Yes really!
You aren't crazy... It sounds like at least PTSD, because I've went through what you have gone through. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
You don't have an obligation to support them.
Live your life bro
"I swear someone has put a curse on me" "Yeah you did, on yourself, by taking drugs." Real. Fucking. Talk.
So sorry Josh. You ARE feeling Grief, and it's all totally ok and totally what you should be feeling. You WILL be helping others who go through similar situations. This is a dirty "secret" that even therapists and social workers don't always like admitting. Family Therapy is NOT an option. Breaking this cycle of abuse is the BEST thing you can do. There will come a day when you change your phone number, even if that day isn't soon. It's common for even women who were abused to not change their number because they actually feel safer knowing where there abusers are for a time... Eventually that passes. Eventually you'll need to change your number..when you are ready.
I just started watching your videos and I'm binging you. I'm so unbelievably sorry that you had to suffer through your families drug addiction and all the BS they put you through. I'm an addict in recovery, my kids were young, I was a junkie however it takes a real p.o.s to steal and cheat your own child then make them feel bad. We (addicts ) don't really think on how this will affect our children as adults, how we eff up their lives. I'm 13 yrs clean and I still try to make up for the time I wasn't present in their lives. No one deserves that.
Sorry you're still going through all this. Don't feel guilty about saying you might have PTSD. This all really sucks. It's good to see that you're living with a supportive family.
I know in the past you’ve said that you don’t want to go to therapy (or something to that degree), but I feel as if it would really help you sort out the emotions that you’re feeling.
Therapy isn't as bad as it's rep.
It can do a lot of good to people that have been that hurt emotionally.
Josh desperately need validation, and his flying lessons or riding his bike or hours at the gym won't cut it.
The difficult thing is to find a good therapist, the right therapist.
But the Atheist advice is valid too, because of his past.
@Apstore Login , there are things people consider as therapy for themselves, then there's therapy.
You have to actually go through it to realize it's not the same, at all.
I shared the feeling before.
Then, something atrocious happened and I finally went to see a psychologist, for a year. Nothing else could have helped me heal like she did ( but it's really a two person's job, you're working on yourself too).
I agree.
Someone outside of his circle.
He needs to smile again and be happy. I feel he hasn't been for a while.
They're all gaslighting you; you haven't done anything wrong. You should change your phone number though.
just block the leeches
Block them on all social media and move to another place. Don't warn them or anything. I hope you can get more real love and support to heal. I am praying for you. So sorry for the horrible image they gave you of YHWH and manipulation of scripture, I went through that with my mom and my daughter's father.
And move to another state- also don’t get addicted to martyrdom.
@@jenrich111 blocking doesn't do anything because it still logs the call and lets them leave voicemail. You have to pay extra for real call blocking now. Number change would be easier.
Blocking doesn't work on cell phones like it did on landlines. I'd set the calls to fwd to a disconnected number or to a voicemail box that never needs to be checked.
I have a number i own that has no voicemail. It rings and then says the mail box isnt set up. If that'd be useful for the subject of this video let me know.
I'm impressed with Josh. Not many people break away from their emotion blackmail.
SMOKING heroin gives off the most awful smell. (In regards to the cologne comment)
Oh Josh... I'm so so sorry. Hugs
The flash of the pupils jump scared me.😭
Josh is such a brave man for sharing. Yes he might talk trash but also he still hold so little faith that is hanging by a thread that his family might change.
I'm no physiatrist but I can relate. For now, let josh share. It's a way for him to cope.
People might see him as narcissistic but that is a label. U might also be seen as one and hell.. I might be one too.
Be nice. Josh just might be able to get through it be it forgiveness or forgetting and leaving it behind.
Be well josh. You still have people behind you even if there's only a few
Its called a flashback memory from your childhood. You have survived young man from a lot of manipulation by addicts who just happened to your relatives. You can not believe an addict, ever.
Son, downplaying your suffering, feeling like you should say it's not really CPTSD, is one of the symptoms. You're trained to downplay your own experience. Needing to tell as many others about it as you can, while seeming paradoxical, is also part of it--the healthiest part of you wants validation that your experience is in fact real. Suddenly feeling swamped by long-ignored or suppressed memories, when you didn't have this happen before, is also part of it--that's why it's POST traumatic stress: your mind has figured out that it's finally safe to process what you've been through. Because it's a messy, debilitating job that you can't afford while in survival mode, but must pursue sooner or later if you're going to become capable of things like knowing who to trust or how to receive real love.
Best thing is to go to a doctor and get a diagnosis. Get talk therapy--drugs are not as effective with PTSD as with other mental issues, and talk therapy is more effective with PTSD than other issues. Do dreamwork, while you're at it. Nightmares are dreams screaming for attention; the more attention you give your dreams, the gentler your dreams become. When they replay something awful it's your mind trying to draw your attention to some aspect of that event that could help you heal.
God bless you! You are on the right track.
THIS, Exactly
your dad lost his life's savings and his career. It doesn't surprise me that he is flaming out.
Some really believe it's better to burn 🔥 out than fade away. I am not that way.
Yeah that's a good point. This is beyond depressing.
He lost that stuff due to drugs
@@GamblinDan Nah, the story where his dad lost his job after being with the same company for several years, tried to start his own business doing that kind of work, but then got sued for every single thing he owned, including their house, because he signed a non-compete disclosure. It's really sad, I feel bad that that even happened to him.
A better question is "which came first?"
Did he lose everything first and end up an addict?
Or did he become addicted, and lose everything because of it?
The dad supposedly lost everything due to a court case and a non-compete clause... But was that all a lie too?
I’m glad you’re reading about narcissistic people and relationships. I hope you feel peace soon
Glad to hear you're becoming well versed on how narcissistic behaviour can impact lives. It's a tricky realisation but it's a good journey into giving yourself the clarity and healing you never got from them 🙏🏾
Take a lot of bravery to go trough this and talk about it, you are finally closing all of this shit, hopes you get peace from this soon.
No cap Josh, you and Graham Stephan are both my mentors in life.
Keep up the great work!
You are great human Josh, never doubt that! You've done the right thing. I'm really sorry it happened to you. Take care of yourself!
Hello Josh .
There are many of us out there , who feel your pain !
What a likeable individual you are .
Your natural sensitivity & passion as well as a generosity of character in a constructive / positive
way to firstly continue your studies whilst trying to save your marriage and then remain solvent in a job whilst helping out your parents & family , are a remarkable and commendable testimony of
character and integrity ! .
You are truly an inspiration of determination and love of others ! , regardless of personal cost .
Stay strong Josh against all this adversity ! !
Over 430 ,000 subscribers are a reflection of the SUPPORT & LOVE for YOU MY FRIEND ! ! ! !
TEZ .
YOU ARE BY FAR THE BETTER PERSON , SON & FATHER ! ! ! !
WITHOUT DOUBT .
Absolutely unbelievable what you’ve been through, can’t imagine the anger and hurt you must feel and on top of that having to accept the fact that your family are drug addicts. Still here you are, keeping it together, keep going forward and doing your thing. Truly admire you 👍
You totally remind me of myself when you say that everything started to click into place. I found out in my mid 40s that my mother had a major personality disorder. And when I started to read up on her disorder it floored me. Every single symptom it described was her to a tea! All of my childhood and all the years after of all the shit she put me through. All the gaslighting she did that made it seem I was the crazy one!? It all made perfect sense and was something I could name. I’ll admit it. I wept like a friggin baby! The rest of the week was a roller coaster ride of feeling angry, sad, guilty, hopeful, numb and then rinse repeat. A parent is supposed to be someone who’s got your back. Not the one pushing you from the front. I know that feeling when the phone rings and you see who it is your heart sinks. Best thing you can do right now is go no contact with them. At least for now. You gotta get your own head screwed back on right from that massive betrayal you just dealt with.
I recently 'brokeup' with my mother, father and grandmother. They've treated me the same as your has treated you. We can't pick our relatives, but we can chose our family. Pick the people that mean the most to your and vise versa, that's your family. I'm sure you'll have many candidates from the comments! I hope that helps, I know it hurts like hell tho. We have your back bro!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. This whole channel is worth gold.
I am from another country (Latvia) and I do not have such experience, but I feel for you bro. I never understand why there are so many states in USA that allows drugs, it is crazy. My brother smoked marihuana (illegal) and thank god he had no money to keep this habit running. Crazy how this can ruin a family. Why movies advertise drugs, I think that screws a lot of people.
My advise to people:
If someone brags how good it was to be high. Ask about the other side of the coin - side Effects, health, money etc. and they will shut up.
One time a guy bragged how much he won by gambling and I asked him how much have he lost. Pisses me off when everybody is just talking about the good stuff - I won, it was so fun etc. but what are the cost off it.
I discovered your channel today because of the childhood cult church camp thing- (I went to a similar one as a teenager) and then this, just wow. I've known a lot of people who had drug problems and I had NO idea. they'd say they used to be addicted but they're clean now. I believed them, that was a bad idea. I'm so sorry you've been through this. And people who seem to be randomly insulting you or blaming you on here... don't discount the idea they could be trolls from your family trying to continue to abuse you. When I got a divorce I had his whole family come after me on fake accounts for about a year. Narcissistic people and toxic families never back down. Be careful.
your family disowning you would be a gift. Block them all, get into some counseling, and do your best to keep them all out of your life for good. You'd be better off missing the memory of them than letting them back into your life.
Interviewing with Dr. K (HealthyGamerGg) would be worth it. I do have this too and it has affected my values, morality, and more.
That "spider bite" in the message was most likely an infected area from shooting up
Thank you for bringing more attention to how damaging drug abuse can be in our society. And I am very sorry to hear about the situation regarding your parents and the disorders and illness they have fallen into, and the harmful effects that it has had on you. Stay away from them at all costs. Drugs can cause strange, erratic and quite frankly insane behavior due to the way that it can mess with brain chemistry, and can impair judgement. Drug abuse is a disease, but people must want to recover from the disease to be able get treatment for it. Other psychological conditions can both also lead to drug abuse, and also drug abuse can cause new psychological conditions. It is best to avoid an environment where there is drug abuse as it can have a very harmful effect on you, so do whatever you can to stay out of that environment and not live with those people. Independently of drug abuse, there are a range of psychological disorders that can cause harm to others and dysfunctionality, such as antisocial, sociopathic, psychopathic behaviors. Again, it can be harmful to have a lot of immersion with such an environment. Professional help should be available but again they have to want professional help to benefit from it. These conditions are serious and are beyond what a family member can really be expected to handle and they should not jeopardize their own safety certainly. You should not allow your own health and safety to be endangered.
Hey man I know it’s definitely tough on you to go through this. It must be hard to stay so composed while talking about it. You should decide for yourself what you want to do about this, we can all give advice but at the end of the day what you want will make you happiest. Whether you want to help them or not is your decision, there’s definitely nothing more painful than this. But also sometimes it’s best to let people fix their problems for themselves even if deep down you know it may not happen. Rooting for you man I hope everything goes the way that’s best for you. Hope this is somewhat helpful.
the twist and turns of this and the story about your ex..... i just subscribed so you can give me coding tips last week and you have become my favorite youtuber.
You are very brave to share all of this. You dodged a bullet being raised by them, you seem to have grown into a very self-aware and smart and responsible man. Despite all odds.
I’m sure you have a lot of emotional scars, but you are dealing with that, it seems. I wish you the best. I’m glad HR Lady’s dad has been so kind to you.
Dude I haven't got anything useful to add but having parents with mental health issues is though. I feel your pain
That's called "Intrusive Thoughts" Josh. A symptom of PTSD
"No one understands my thoughts, no one is on the same wavelength as me" yeah, drugs create feelings of isolation. It's hard to relate to people who are sober when you're high.
Thank you for making these videos - it will help people who have addict families/ have suffered narcissistic abuse. Sorry you went through this
Now that you're talking about books, I don't know if that's the book you're referencing, but some ten years ago I read this book called "Toxic Parents". (Way before the word toxic became overused and basically meaningless). It made me understand my family completely.
I absolutely love you new-found perception of your last name, wherein you are the "fluke" in the most positive way possible.
It's okay to be mad, only actions can make you bad.
Your father sounds exactly like my father, my father was a bipolar, alcoholic narcissist. I have cptsd and I am actively working on my healing. Its so tough. Love to you
I escaped a cult 22 years ago I still have flashbacks. Don't dwell, move on, your being sensible and smart. You don't owe them anything. I had to do the same with two of my children. Be free!
A cult? Damn I want to know what that was like!!
@@Dan0rioN Obadiah, NSW Australia. A Christian fundamentalist group. Run by the Staffords who had to be called "Mother and Father" Hundreds went through there, over the 10 years I was there. Fucked us up for years afterward
I’ll tell you about these narcissists. They sit in their high chair all day thinking that they’re better than everyone. They’re not. I don’t even give them an ounce of respect. My friends are suffering from their narcissist parents. Nothing good comes from being near the parents
Their texts are always condescending and they are the victim. They try and stick it to you but even a 2 yr old can see through their bs.
I am so sorry man, Your story is mirrored though this country over and over again and in my own life. Watching a family self destruct because of opioids. The lies and the immediate disowned once you catch on to what they are doing you get disowned. The thing I worry about is that if you haven't considered it, there are groups that help people deal with the aftermath. Look up counselling for families of addicts. It Does help..
It's like having a family member die suddenly. The people you thought you knew are not around anymore. You've got a great, logical mind, so don't lose yourself in all this. You'll see bright again with time.
Having CPTSD, it's pretty clear in the first minute and a half that you're describing CPTSD. A big part of it is the "I'm fine tho, really, comparatively" mentality.
Those memories are called flashbacks and they´re usually triggered by something with an association to that memory that you may not even be aware of. Once you stop denying that you´ve got CPSD and accepting it, they´ll become more common because you´ll actually recognize them for what they are when they happen
It is crazy to get those flashbacks when driving a car. When I get flash backs in the car it always freak me out.
Josh you are a positive force for many people struggling to just survive right now and because you are still engaged in an unhealthy abusive and detached conversation with your abusers is preventing you from detaching from them altogether. They do not care for you at all Josh, i know that my hurt but you've come to realize this for yourself. They know how to hurt you and exploit you. make the break now so you can return to helping people who are worthy of your talent and kind nature.
Man you said it, I was going to comment it. Fluke is a very apt name for you, children barely have a chance to pull through when raised by people like this, yet you have. Hopefully your children and grandchildren follow in your footsteps in being a good people.
It is ptsd, but I understand how you feel about calling it that. Just like any other mental illness, it comes in levels. It may be a very low level, but it definitely is ptsd from how you described it. It's a struggle, but I'm sending emotional support ❤️
Edit: It also might be a subtype of ptsd
The earlier people with PTSD start with EMDR therapy the better. Otherwise a lot of time and energy is wasted in flashbacks and fits of rage. I don't know whether this is the case here but tbh it's better to get EMDR therapy if you don't have it because you loose nothing if your insurance covers it. On the other hand if you need therapy but don't get it you can waste years in flashbacks and fits of anger. In some cases only EMDR therapy helps PTSD survivors CBT does close to nothing.
Youve got your girlfriends family and your youtube family. You dont need those drug addicts.
RUclips not a family bro... its a fanbase. Their are loyal fans and disloyal fans. Sorry for correcting you but its not realistic to claim a part of the internet is your family...
I agree Jim. I think he will get both trolls and support this way
I agree with but everyone wants their family's love.
Sad that some people think that youtube can even come close to functioning as a family like support structure.
@@peacefulambiance9064 i agree, its of course not a replacement for a family. But he will get lots of support from his fans. Of course also hate and trolls, but i think thats a minority.
I got dysfunctional parents too i don't talk to them now haven't in years
Bish my family fucked me up. I understand completely what he's going through.
I definitely have the same issue about Complex Traumatic Disorder and exactly how you described it and it all adding up. You're definitely not crazy and I have to say my biggest coping mechanism for this Is Music and My Spirituality, it takes my mind off all of the trauma and negative thoughts about Life etc.
That would be known as flashbacks
How did you know that. I thought the same thing, it happens though, it's a memory that you react to today, however inapropriate.
I love this series.
There is no need to feel bad for saying you may have CPTSD when others have "more terrible" versions. What you describe sounds just like CPTSD. What happened to you is traumatic and even if you feel fine a lot of the time, don't underestimate the human ability to power through. PTSD and CPTSD are not always crippling. Be kind to yourself because you deserve a good life and to heal. ❤
My family is acusatory, name calling and are incapable of answering yes/no questions at the risk of validating me. I feel ya bro. I hope it gets better for you
Hey man good on you, they didnt deserve how well you treated them. They simply were sick with drugs and I know its cliche "its the drugs talking" but still unacceptable. Hope it all goes better bro.