Holding down friendships with ADHD - Why Do We Find It So Hard?!?
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
- Trying to unpick the sometimes bewildering topic of ADHD and friendship can be really tough. Problems with friendships for ADHDers are really common, and it's bloomin' hard navigating them sometimes. I've made this video for ADHDers and our neurotypical friends, so we can hopefully ease some of our guilt and normalise what it's like having friends and maintaining friendships with ADHD in the mix.
A growing resource for ADHD and neurodiversity can be found here: www.welcometothewormhole.com
0:00 - Intro
0:45 - The ADHD Brain
1:00 - The Neurotypical VS ADHD experience
2:06 - Proximity
2:40 - Overwhelm
4:00 - Distraction & Hyperfocus
4:30 - Short-term memory & Being Late
4:58 - Inconsistency
6:14 - Some advice and tips on ADHD friendships
#adhd #adhdproblems #adhdbrain #welcometothewormhole
What have you folks found helped (or didn’t) when navigating all this, and how do you deal with the crushing guilt that seems to go hand in hand with friendships and ADHD?
great video thank you stopping being a pepole pleaser really help me see my true friends you can then prioritize them ;) ( dual asd adhd pi)
Learning to understand and accept that the guilt serves no one and nothing and that your real friends and kind relatives will just be happy to hear from you no matter how long it’s been.
I hurt my sister recently as I missed getting her a birthday card in time to mail it. I told her and tried to explain to her exactly what you talked about here. I thought about her approaching birthday well in advance but I f....d up again. So luckily I was able to recall that I could actually send her some flowers online and they got there in time for her birthday. whew! we are very close and she still gets hurt cause I still f...k up. Now I know why. Thank you.
Very well put ❤️ It's the learning to 'unlearn' part from decades of one way of thinking/acting that holds us back...but then again, maybe the journey and work and hardship towards this is part of it...
Thanks Fman :-) How did you approach shifting your behaviours from people pleasing? Was it a conscious effort, or a more evolved transition after diagnosis?
Wow, I hadn't realised that my being so rubbish at staying in touch was down to ADHD! To be honest I'd just accepted the fact that people come and go, with only a handful hanging around. At the same time though, if nobody else is making any effort to keep in touch either then why should I have to do all the running when I find it so hard? I do consider a few people great friends due to the fact that we don't talk one bit for years, get back in touch and it's like nothing's happened and we can pick up where we left off with zero judgement.
Spot on! But also, delving into all of this has helped me reflect on those that haven't reached out for ages, but maybe did try during a period where I went dark and I just didn't/couldn't acknowledge that at the time. So I'm starting to reach back out, slowly, to those ones and just see what comes back ❤️
Same.. that's crazy. A lot of people expect you to entertain them, And that's just tiring ❤
Agreed it’s challenging when society is now so flaky and surface level. Zero incentive to reach out.
My goodness... This sums up all of my friendships throughout my entire life. Every single aspect is spot on and I have always experienced this. Lost a ton of friendships and many people to the point I don't really have any friends anymore besides online friendships due to some people moving abroad or just friends from online games. It sucks, really, really sucks. I've also noticed that at some point, when you have been way carried away with day to day struggles and stimuli and haven't paid enough attention to your friends, people tend to get quite offended and shut you down by not reciprocating any efforts whatsoever in the future, which again leads to an end of the friendship because then the guilt and overwhelm gets so bad, I would stop reaching out and hitting that cold wall thinking "Well, I am constantly putting effort in but they don't give a damn, so I guess I am not needed." It's really hard and no wonder that many ADHDers have additional conditions like depression and anxiety.
Omg I feel so guilty of falling into depression and falling out of a lot of my friends that my ADHD guilt is stopping me from getting in touch with all of them again 😭😭 this is so trueee
It's pants isn't it! I made this video selfishly so I could then send it to the people I've had that guilt block with.....its worked! ❤️The ones who matter will still be there when you're able to reach back out x
😢❤
This video feels like my biography...
Not just inconsistent in friendships & social situations but in inconsistent in EVERYTHING 😶
yup!
Me too! I was just diagnosed a week and a half ago, as a woman of 51.
I am starting to realize that i am inconsistent too, and yet, I find inconsistency in others confusing.
Overwhelmed with emotion listening to this, I forever did not know why I would ghost people whom I had so much love for. I just did not understand why I would be so strange, thank you for making this video - means a lot
I am being evaluated for a possible ADHD diagnosis as an adult. These videos are very helpful because for the first time I realized that what I have been dealing with my whole life is not what everyone else typically do... thank you for putting into words what I couldn't explain or understand in myself.
I’m a friend of an ADHD’er and yeah. Dealing with this is kinda hard. Watching this was super helpful in understanding how I’m going to maintain this friendship.
I’m very much OK with being the friend that mostly initiates our interactions. We’ve been talking every day but lately it’s been me who has to start it. I get scared that I’m overstepping a boundary trying to maintain this constant contact.
Last thing I wanna do is overwhelm my friend further and make him feel a ton of pressure trying to keep our relationship together, but at the same time it is kinda hard trying to not let my anxiety get the best of me and to not assume that his recent behavior has anything to do with me.
But again, this was great to watch. It will help when I decide to have a heart to heart with him on this matter.
Dude, I’m in the exact same spot! One of my best friends has ADHD and it’s the same way. He’s terrible at keeping in touch and communicating, and he’s admitted that fully many times. But here very recently I’ve been checking in on him and sending him messages on a daily basis, and he told me that he really appreciates that and wants me to keep it up. And now that I’m in the groove of it and have gotten his approval of it, I’m more confident to continue to do so. But I’m also like you, I was super anxious and afraid to cross a boundary and/or to come off as clingy. Which I do tend to get super attached to people I think of as really good friends or best friends, but I do my best to manage it. I still am sort of, but since I’ve gotten in the groove of this, not so much now.
I had to let go of my best friend of many years because of this. I just could not take the emotional rollercoaster anymore. I was always the one to reach out and didn't feel supported. I felt like I didn't matter to her at all - a cycle that would repeat again and again. I couldn't continue. The intermittent ghosting was incredibly hurtful to me and it was no longer healthy for me to continue to engage with her. It completely broke my heart. I just couldn't.
I'm a pro at making friends but shit at maintaining them, not to mention almost nonexistant correspondence with family.
...I didn't pick up the phone to my gran the other month, and now the guilt has over ridden being able to pick up every time she calls...or calling her back 🤦♂️
And yes! Well put! When we’re up and out in the world - total pros....then total pros at loosing them 😂
@@welcometothewormhole How about you call her right now, without giving yourself a chance to sabotage it? And ask her if she’d watch this video.
Like, focus on the Now = calling instead of the Not Now of not having called for some time.
It was the main reason I began making this video🙂 I sent it to my family to try and help them understand what goes on in my brain sometimes. I call it “riding the wave”...when I've got some oooomfph I'm now trying to use it mindfully to not just triage my life from all the dropped balls, but actually try and gradually shift my world a little.
And yes! So true - the guilt and shame though can really hold us back even when we want to...this helped ease a lot of that (totally selfish content production here 😂)
@@welcometothewormhole ❤️
This video has been an eye opener... I have felt, thought and spoken about these things with my friends in the past and I never knew it may be related to ADHD (undiagnosed). It was both amazing and frightening how succintly you captured a lot of the issues I experience on daily basis - from start to finish. I even found myself knowing what you were going to move on to next. I am going to get a diagnosis, thank you.
This channel is the best in Europe that I know! Keep it up, something like this was missing! Please excuse me if I comment on this video in a more general way. I live in Germany, I am now a 56 years old woman, diagnosed since exactly one year and 2 days. I am rewriting my life... And yet: I have been so lucky: a loving husband, three children, two of them certainly with ADHD, who are studying and going their way. I even succeeded professionally myself, though every day resembled a job interview.... until the burnout at the end of 2021, which finally brought me the diagnosis. And a new perspective on things. A reset. The way MPH gave me a new view of the world is still overwhelming for me. The topic of friendship: I'm sorting through it again right now, because most of my so-called "friends" I only have because I've been masking for years. That is ending more and more. I only want to be true version of myself. Actually, I have been the one who has kept these friendships alive for years. That has always been the case. But obviously these people didn't fit me. For example, I get along much better with people who are 10-15 years younger than me. I'm also always estimated to be 10-15 years younger (no, that's not female vanity) - is that also an ADHD thing? ADHDers are much more youthful overall, that's my impression. We ADHDers have so much potential, we are devoted friends - with the right people who take us as we are! Thank you for your videos. Great!
Thank you so so much Katihorse ❤️
It sounds like some incredible shifts and insights have been happening for you - this has made me really smile over my coffee this morning.
And yes! The age thing is an ADHD trait...parts of our brain take longer than usual to develop to we are ‘younger’ 😂 But I’ve also found, and I think it's my ASD, is that it never crosses my mind about age and friends...or anything else actually, other than “do we click”. My best friend was 20 years older than me (before he popped his clogs) and then I have friends who are much younger than me too. Hummmmm...this topic is sending me on a thought wormhole 😂
@@welcometothewormhole This would be a nice topic for a video, hopefully that’s where your wormhole was taking you 😉. My whole life I’ve had friends of many different ages. And can very much relate to the youthful personality point too. I never really _felt_ particularly adult and people have indeed often thought that I was 10+ years younger (before greying hair at least 😂). I wonder if this is at all related to our different sense of time.
You are absolutely right. Age is not important. My best friends are both 15 years younger, two other very valuable people for me are 10 years older. If the chemistry is right, age doesn't matter at all. And you think it's also because of the ASD? What makes you think that? What are the parts of ASD that are noticeable in you and are not caused by ADHD? Maybe you have time for an answer. Otherwise, I will ask this question later in another place. 😀
@Rødkælkje Okay, my hair is coloured 😀. But that's not the reason. At 20 I was thought to be 14, at 30 I was thought to be 18 etc.... I have met many ADHDers who seem much younger. That can't be a coincidence. Right, interesting topic and worth a film of its own.
@@katihorse7317 Yeah, recognisable for sure! From age 14-30 most people thought I was 18. Great at first, towards the end I started to wonder if I might be a lot less mature than I thought I was 😂 It is indeed a fascinating topic - non-linear sense of time, youthfulness both felt and in the eyes of others, life-long relationships with intermittent contact - are these all different aspects of the same genetic coin or just coincidence?
My friends, the few that I have that are close anyway, are the type that I can not talk to for six months at a time and we pick right back where we left off. For others, I don't have a good answer. I wish I did. I really appreciate this video as I don't really give it much thought, but it would be good to do so! I do like the idea of taking just a little bit of time when we see it to message someone.
My biggest issue is friends of my parents who have had losses in their families. They were there for me when both of my parents died 4 years apart. But I can't seem to pick up the phone and call them about their own kid. I know exactly what you mean about the shame. It's been well over a month, maybe two and I I can't seem to call. It's just too much/overwhelming! I might try to type something up. Thank you for reminding me as I really want to do this for her! She lost one of her sons and her husband. I could go on with many examples, so to whomever reads this, you're not alone!
I really get that Robert - and the care and feelings we have are just not reflected in our actions sometimes.
Another thing I forgot to mention that has worked for me in the past and a few others is video....just a video WhatsApp or a recording of your voice....like a voicemail but without the fear of someone picking up 😂 Maybe also link to this video if suitable - it might help open a dialogue too.
Anyway, just my tuppence x
@@welcometothewormhole thank you for the idea and I never would have thought of that! And I'm a Cloud Platform Engineer/Software Dev by trade! It's the simple things that get by me. Talk to me about AWS and containers I'll understand completely. Yeah I guess I have ADHD. 🤣
Had the same problem all my life, and it's hard to breach the "it's been so long, it'll be really awkward to write now" barrier that builds up at some point. There are many past connections where I feel like I've ghosted people and this barrier makes me cringe for a moment and look for a distraction.
Allll the bloomin’ time! And yes....followed by some ridiculous procrastination or binge. Doing these little vids and delving into peoples shared experiences has genuinely started to make me a little kinder on myself. Looking at the friends I do have, they know, and the crushing guilt is getting a little easier every time I guilt spiral from an unanswered text or call....come to think of it, looking at my friends they’re all a bunch of misfits and wierdos too anyway 😂
@@welcometothewormhole Yeah, discovering that these are shared problems and not personal character flaws has been a very helpful experience. Feeling less guilty makes facing (and changing) those problems easier, so thank you for your Videos and bringing the weirdos together online haha. Incidentally, I also have mostly neurodiverse friends!
@@welcometothewormhole I think this is key indeed, finding friends who are okay with long periods of no contact interspersed with intense catch-ups. Whether because they do the same or are compassionate enough to understand.
I seem to collect people w ADHD. Patience and acceptance… the dynamics are what they are… accept it… plan for it… something’s that may take me or others 15 minutes… may take my friend a month or so to get, work on it… and then finish it… that on occasion, a friend needs to hear “You were just saying you wanted to concentrate on “x”…. So let’s do that…. Distractions are moment to moment… sometimes, that’s fine… but when everyone is sitting down for thanksgiving dinner, and, in an effort to find the gravy boat, my friend is now cleaning her jewelry… ya gotta reel ‘em back to the “now” or the agenda set for today.
most of my close friends know that years can pass without a peep from me but once back in touch I am as close to them as ever... family doesn't seem to understand that as much, so I have to put in extra effort to keep them on my radar. I'm grateful for both aspects as myt approach with my family encourages me not to forget distant friends... but the guilt ridden delayed getting in touch is always a bit of a mountain to climb. thanks as always
That's a really good point! For instance, on a slightly different subject, we had family come to visit yesterday as a last minute thing, with only the morning for notice....that pressure forced us into a frenzied house tidy, dog poo pick up, and hoover/de-dog hair. If it wasn't for that pressure, it wouldn't have been done. If it was left up to our ADHD brains, we just wouldn't have had anyone over then, but some external 'real life' family pressure is possibly what we need sometimes 🧐 hummmmm...
@@welcometothewormhole I think that's it. Having experienced the "parents coming to visit" Mad tidy up in my bachelor days, it means that now and then there is a mad tidy up with no real cause. We also cheated and have paid a cleaner to help us out, makes a real difference even if we can't really afford it
What works great for me is simple, social isolation. Happy days. 😊
I have had a working diagnosis which has left me dubious and unsure ,but your description of living in the now and not being able to tap into the past memories easily for guidance and the future being such a removed concept that it doesn't really get planned,is so accurate and powerfully hit home.
I appreciate your words of encouragement and advice. I wish I had learned about this earlier in life. At 70 years old I am beginning to understand a bit of my life even though I can't do much to make it better. I am in the now and I hope to get a diagnosis soon just to give me and others some answers as to why I am the way I am. Thank you.
Thanks Linda! :-) Oooo - my thoughts have been filled with pretty much everything you've just raised for a while now too. Apart from medication, what has a formal diagnosis given me? Confronted with the knowledge my brain is physically wired differently and that all the constant shoehorning into what I was told was the accepted way is pretty much futile, where does this leave me? If this IS me, do I need to give people apologies and explanations all the time anymore? How do I 'reset', deconstruct and then rebuild a life from a stronger more compassionate foundation? What has my wonky neurology given me, and what does it actually deprive me of? Maybe one of the true benefits IS having a naturally inclined 'now' brain, despite alllllll of the perils it also brings with it? Annnnnd so on 😂
I'm currently making a podcast, where I've been talking with the most incredible range of people from all over the world about neurodiversity, the highs and lows we experience and everything in between...and a whole lot of tangents and wormholes. It's proving... 'interesting' to edit these 😂. I'd love to chat with you! If you'd like to, please just drop me a message over at www.welcometothewormhole.com/contact But! absolutely not one jot of offence, at all, in the slightest, ever, if you don't. And please don't feel any pressure at all in responding to this either - for the first time I'm just starting to enjoy throwing bits out into the world and seeing what returns ❤️
Thats hard work, rewriting 70 years of history, because of the paradigm shift this will create. Accepting and focussing on the special qualities comes after that. Good luck, you can do this!
I am over 50 and have been struggling with ADHD my whole life. I have explored whether or not I have ADHD in the past but for some reason I concluded it was always something else. The videos you make have helped me see that I have been trying everything other than an ADHD diagnosis when I just needed to accept that I needed one. This video explains my social life (and my marriage) very well. Thank you-I’m going to pursue a diagnosis.
I have watched 2 of your vids and this is giving me insight into my granddaughter's world.....
I’m only 2:37mins in and all I can say is… Never have there been more truer words spoken. Can’t wait to watch the rest :)
Thanks Troy :-)
This is what I’ve been dealing with! I was just recently diagnosed with adhd! Saving this to share with friends and family. I want to do and be better!
I was starting a band with a friend who was just always a beautiful, smiling, funny person. She has ADHD. She was unemployed all time due to a broken foot, got kicked out of her apartment separated from her daughter, living in a homeless shelter. She was really excited about the band and our friendship, always a pleasure. Then, she found a place to live, then she got a job. That week when I saw her it was like a 180 degree rejection of me. it was like that, the past never existed. Everything we had done. She was obviously hyper focused and getting a real dopamine kick from that relief and all the new stimuli. We are still trying to work it out; at least, I am. I'm a man, so i doubly couldn't work out what was happening with her. I don't know if she absolutely hates me now, or what? I can't do the band with her now sadly with all the elements you mentioned; it's just too unprofessional and inconsistent when other members and venues are relying on us. But I absolutely want to do a duo with her. When she mentally checks out, that's a hiatus. But I just don't know.. Don't know how to reassure her, how to say the right things at the right time etc.. i'm going to read a book or two to try to understand her, so she doesn't break my heart again, and see if a future freindship is possible. I'm hoping there is. My big fear is, will she completely forget any good times in the past; she's acting as though she almost doesn't know me. Her child seems to be like the adult, not very happy with her mum, depressed, became a boy etc..Her x wiped her off the face of the planet on facebook. it's like everyone around her has become depressed. This worries me. I wish I could just hug her and transfer the memories and the fun of the future back into her; like, it's not a dopamine kick right now, but remember, and wait. She smokes pot for her ADHD, past heavy substance abuse, former girl about town. We are 43 now and she is lonely because, i imagine everyone gets chucked to the side, she pushes people away like they have covid and finds excuses for what everyone else did. . I'll wait to see if she comes around. but, I'm not sure she will remember what we went through if that happens. She feels I changed that night. I didn't change at all, she can't see that her life changed to a new job and she just ripped my heart out. it seems like the sheen has started to wear off with the new job after 3 weeks, she's finding issues with people already. She's erased all of her excited post's which went literally from a post talking about her excitement at our band, overnight to "F being a rock star, this job is frigin awesome!!" Alluding to me.
Thanks for the video. I'll continue to make the effort. As i learn more the pain is going away, gradually. Maybe one just learns to accept when they are mentally checked out.
My best friend was my next door neighbor 32 years ago. We were both single mom's, and so much alike. Over the years I had moved at least every three years, and now that the kids are grown, I moved to Ireland. Sometimes we only talked one or two times over the years; sometimes more. That's why she stayed my best friend. We are like sisters and love each other very much. Nothing can change that. No expectations from either side. I'm the ADHDer, can you tell?
You are so good at explaining some of these problems that I've been having for years! Also thanks so much for your advice! Keep up the good work on your videos!
This was so good, really helps explain me to me, and to others!
Thank you. This explains a part of my life that I have never understood.
Really needed to hear this.
❤
The “There is the present, the now, and then there is the not now. And it’s harder for us to access those past experiences when we’re in the now.”
It did a lot to fuck up my last relationship. Literally forgetting about things that I shouldn’t have the next day, and while I was acting in an understandable way for that moment if I zoomed out to the context of the last few days…
And there's the dilemma...if it's actually our brain, and who we are, then is it 'effing up'? I'm starting to understand that I don't think it is....what is in our control though is taking time to help someone else understand and explain to them, and give them ways to access our attention, and help manage expectations. I'm deliberately holding off on a video I'm really wanting to make on relationships and the painful truth of it all sometimes until I gather more info, because it's such a complex issue.
Spot on! Thank you!
Thank you so much!!!! I never understood this about myself. Can't thank you enough for sharing this!!! ❤❤❤
I agree with Dr.Barkley: Hyperfocusing is what Autistic Spectrum folks engage with. Folks with ADHD experience perseveration, not hyperfocusing. Perseveration is the result of brain damage; it is the difficulty switching tasks. Sometimes this difficulty occurs when something grabs attention, but often times, it happens with even mundane activities.
I found this vid so helpful. Especially enjoyed the reference to the brain timeline 🧠
This resonated with me so much. Thank you for sharing. This is something that I knew myself but never acknowledged in me or others. Diagnosed with Combined ADHD a few months ago. Your channel is a great resource for guidance.
Meds are next steps for me as natural meditation or audible therapies are not working. 🤟😎
Thank you for understanding myself better now❤
This was an excellent video. Thanks so much x
Thanks JW - Dopamine for the win!😂
Well said ❤
Every single word in this video has hit me like a sharp knife. It’s quite overwhelming to have a stranger exactly describe my experience of life and relationships. I’m not a hyperactive person though. Is there something other than ADHD that also experiences life in this way?
Sending some Dopamine your way thank you for your hard work on all your videos! 🙏
❤️ ahhhhhhhh....that's the ticket! 😂 Thank you Wilter 🙏
Thank you
Thanks for sharing 🦾
Thank you....
Perpetual lateness is the only ADHD trait I don't identify with. I am super early for things. Ridiculously early. I have a fear of being late for things.
Where did you go? 😢 Finding your videos sooooo helpful! Please come back and make more!
I love my ADHD bestie!
My hubby and I have been together for 20 years. Im ADHD and he is Dyslexic. So our family is a little nutty but off the charts creative and we have had lots of practice saying sorry though!
I wanted to edit my comment as I realise it seemed terribly blunt. But I now can't find the original comments so I am starting again. Thank you for the video. My daughter thinks she has ADHD and my (pretty old now ie >50 yrs) says he has recently been diagnosed too.
I am curious about jobs which might suit this condition? Other than making videos for RUclips, which you are great at! I like your voice very much by the way. You sound kind and tolerant. I trust you.
I like the round glasses side, better than the square glasses side.
Oh my God, I was just noticing this and thought my eyes had gone funny. Haha.
My issue is that I can’t get friends to respond back to my messages even when I ask a question or ask them if they want to hangout always giving them plenty of to decide if they are available.
You have a voice for audiobooks
....or a good Richard Ayoade impersonator 😂 Thanks though for the compliment - it's a small positive thing doing these videos - I've stopped despising my voice 😂
in the past year, I have realized my differences is just ADHD.. I'm 51 and all this time I just thought I was just a little weird .. I forgot the point I was going to make
It really isnt a memory thing more of attention. I try to look someone in the face and ill hear every word but as soon as i walk away i realize i cant remember the more important details of the conversation. So now i always have a small note pad and pen on me to write things down. A phone doesn't work since it is rude and a big distraction from the conversation compared to paper
Omg even my mother messages my husband instead of me because “I never reply” 😂 I figured I was just a terrible person. It’s all starting to make sense now!
ADHD is more of an ATypical Executive Function Disorder, the DSM has been a major contributor to misunderstanding the condition.
im crying. everyone says it too me and im even scared to answer the phone and ive always hated myself for it x
I find it hard as I want to do what I want to do 😂 it’s hard caring about what other people like as I think it’s boring but I don’t say that, I just don’t know how to talk to them unless it’s stuff I also like.
My adhd friend uses mantras. They seem to help her and me. Repeating them is a form of meditation and spirituality.
so few understand the challnges that ADHD have.
and so many gives up and walk away.
The last two times I made a friend were 1993 (college) and 1997 (work); lost them both around 2008. The last time I *really* had a click with someone (I call it an autistic person obsession; limerence also seems to be a term) was again at work (happened three times in 23 years), in 2016. That too blew up and they ghosted me, because Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria makes me far too needy and clingy to be bearable for the neurotypical person (although I suspect her to have ASD, just like me). It did directly lead to my ASD/ADD diagnosis in 2017, at age 43. To avoid feeling the extreme pain of RSD again, I stopped trying to make friends around 2018/2019.
I RECENTLY discovered that I have ADHD with medical help, and Mostly all my life I chose really bad friends, Like people who ended up being rude and screwed me up for the most tiny reasons,they finally throwing all the problem over my . So finally I finished the friendships and never came back, but it happened 3 times with the "best friends" I had chose. That had big personalities and are more social stronger than me.
I have more friends but are superficial, and the few more deep ending for this reason.
Someone related with this?
I wish I heard this when I was 12.
I couldn’t stop focusing the the fact that one glass was square and the other round and it sent my brain into a spiral, missed the whole video
Interesting insights Sir. I'm 58, and was diagnosed 4 years back. I refrained from medications, and sought lifestyle changes instead. This was short lived as
COVID then kicked in and I took to the wine for solace in the grip of lockdowns.
Regardless. I'm now back at further education where a lot of study has now been imposed upon me.
So far so good, I have my first Methylphenidate Dose due this week from my Doctor.
Naturally, I'm trepidatious.
You mention at 7:45 of drunken conversations with chums. I'm advised that the forthcoming Ritalin prescription and alcohol are not the best of bedfellows.
From your own perspective, do you take alcohol still when on the meds?
Do you notice different side effects from (say) beer or wine.
Naturally this will be subjective, but I'd appreciate any feedback.
Thanks.
Hari
I got audhd and I got a late diagnosis and been avoiding people for months even family. And trying to break out. This video helps. Maybe I can send the video. But who will not judge..I dont know. Its extreme and the guilt and shame is bad but the guilt now became 50% less but now anxious to make the first move argh any other tips anyone ?
Its so hard, being friends with someone with adhd, i was and still am verry hurt by him even though i now realize its probably becose of the adhd
Hi! can you plz make a video that touches the difference between being a High sensation seeker and ADHD. I cant function in life without adrenaline, meaning I need to be stressed or excited to do things and I got diagnosed with ADHD most ppl think i have it too but i just think im a thrill seeker and a little bit of SPD because i love danger and the dopamine from ADHD meds motivates me but doesn't help me finish tasks. Tysm!
Thabk you. I've recently met and become friend with one and im teying to understand whats happening and how to interact with him. Qyestion, do i ask what's going on when he starts to oull back ir do i just let it?
Have you more videos coming?
Any tips for reconnecting with newer people/potential friends that you've accidentally ghosted because you said "ah I'll respond later" only to realize weeks have gone by?
I had a default sort of message I used to use, just explaining "it's not you, it's me, sorry" kinda thing 😂
But I made this video after guilt-spiral-ghosting my gran for ages, so this video was to try and help others understand some of what goes on with ADHD. I'm feeling the trick to master from now on is to stop apologising all the time for simply being me, whilst at the same time acknowledging any concern or hurt the other person may have felt as a consequence, but also explaining things too....so I'm going to be sending them this video whenever I think its right ❤️
Great vid bro
I am almost certain I have ADHD, but I don't have the now brain you are describing. But I do procrastinate a lot.
My friend has ADHD with anxiety. I have anxiety with ADHD and low self esteem. It's awful. He disappears most of the time, shows up randomly. I freak out I'm never going to see or talk to him again. Even though I know it's his ADHD, I can't keep myself from expecting the worst.
Im in the same situation. But im dealing with severe burnout and she is someone who wants to be social 24/7. I feel like im crushing her when im not able to be there for her and i start to feel like mabey i cant have friends.
@@Emzeliemansson I'm sorry to hear that. It's important to communicate though. A burnout isn't permanent. You need time and space to heal. So try communicating that to her and if she cares about you, she'll surely understand
Wow this is me
I've always, always had a hard time learning how long it should take me to reply to an email.
I've never known what to say in a reply email or letter.
Nice specs
Did you quit RUclips ? I hope you're okay and doing well. Thank you for your videos.
From what ive been told its not uncommon but kind of rare to have both Bi polar and ADHD... I dont believe that .. Only cause ive been diagnosed with both ... And an anxiety disorder...I think thats just my fruystrations from the first two ...LOL Anyways two diagnosis that have horrible stereotypes attached to them... EXample: ADHD- Lazy , Dumb, weirdo that cant sit still. Un reliable...etc... Bipolar- Serial Killer.... Wack jobs... Im 55 right now . As you know both of these , more so Bipolar , are still misunderstood and wasnt even a thing really when i was a kid... I went thru school wondering why i couldnt remember the chapters id read to study,,, Or why i could think about 3-5 different subjets in my head and hold down my thoughts.. I never thought a thing about the way i was .. Until people mentioning little things to me... I served in the Marine Corp.. I was a way better Marine then the avg typicalk guy in the marines... I took it very serious and wwhen i saw how our military was ran .. It desroyrd me inside... Out of 6 co.i was in KILO i was the second highest by points in shooting.. I missed no. 1 by like 5-10 pts. Anyways that shows that we can in certain situaTIONS excel. for me my symptoms of both started to get worse when i had a ATV high speed accident, I got a concusionand i changed.. Not violent really but not finiching things and saying thing i wouldnt remember... Anyways im rambling... Thank you for the video
I love your content, so happy I've found your channel and thank you very much.. but.. your glasses are overwhelming me.. 😅
Those glasses hurt my brain...
I didn't notice until I asked my husband to watch this video and he asked me why ...!
I’m 36 and just figured out last month I’m adhd.. unbelievable.. very grounding to see I’m not the only one.. is a very bazar feeling.. I never had a clue! Just thought I was bit weird and think deeper and different than others.. it’s all making sense.. I thought I was just a dik head lol 😅 what’s these life changing meds then? And how do I get em? ✨👌
This dude sounds exactly like Dominic West.
Watch Anthony chaffee, autism carnivore diet! Posted march 1, 2024❤
MINT
Why do you have an odd glasses shape?
Why not ❤
Yeah i had do distance myself from an adhd friend they think that going ghost for months at a time and coming back is a great friendship 😂man thats so toxic and unhealthy . When i said we should hang out more they said it doesnt matter how much we hang out wtf 😂😂😂
I died inside along time ago.. I accept people to act like people these days ! You know like a dog acts like a dog or a cat etc fukem 🎉
I had to stop watching and just listen to this because I'm distracted by your glasses. I'm not knocking them. They're awesome but distracting.
Even when you cut the ADHD person huge slack they still disappear. For months if not years and then send you a text out of nowhere wanting to “catch up”. Come on. WTF. It’s either hyperfocus on nothing. Sigh.
Unfortunately it doesn't work like that
OMG WTF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭