Harsh and Passive-Aggressive Communication | Marriage Today | Jimmy Evans
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- Опубликовано: 6 авг 2024
- Jimmy Evans discusses the cause and effects of harsh, dishonest and passive-aggressive forms of communication in marriage.
Sex, Love and Communication series order page:
www.marriagetoday.com/slc
Doesn’t matter how hard I try....I can be silent and speak respectfully....but I still get pushed to the side. And that brings out my attitude.
You need to watch jefferys stuff
@@marleezawadzkiwho is that
Woman need honor and respect as much as men do!!!
Jimmy Evans, (and Karen), are obviously anointed by God to bring Truth and Healing to people. Women and men, across the USA benefit from this ministry.
The things he said while speaking to the woman ...💜. Communication is very important. Truth is powerful. Kindness is everything. 😊 God help us all! ☀
He is so funny!! 😇 His teachings are so very helpful.
I am so angry right now. My husband just totally disrespected me to our youngest son. He never gets it and I needed to pull up something to help me through my feelings.
Unequally yoked may not seem to bad for a while...but man,vi understand the problem with it now.
"Eyes Wired Shut" is what I'm hearing right now. After reading the last two comments of Aletheia and her follower that commented about Aletheia "blowing it out of the water", I prayed to hear it the way you heard it, then replayed that message so I could understand your comment. Being a Strong Woman as well, whose had similar experiences, I can see where frustration and agitation with that situation could Easily rest on you. However, I Chose to make a Decision to ask My FATHER to show me Me as well, and HIS Purpose For The BOTH Of Us Through It All. This kept me from only seeing his faults. I was like an Angel when we married, but his behavior, and not wanting to see himself made me feel provoked to all types of things. But Through It All, Because Of The LOVE AND My Real Intimate Relationship With My LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST, Eventually I had to Choose to use the Power as ND Strength GIVEN By GOD To VIEW THROUGH A DIFFERENT LENSE... GOD ALMIGHTIES. As much as I felt hurt, I wanted to forward what was right in GODS EYES, not mine. Is it comfortable, NO, It Hurts To Do The Right Thing Sometimes, but Long Suffering is A Fruit of the SPIRIT OF GOD. Just as JESUS Was WILLING To SUFFER For Our Old Crazy, Wavering, Dirty Selves, To Complete The Plan of SALVATION, That We Might Be Delivered and Set Free, We Too Have To Go Through Some Suffering For Others Whose Paths We May Cross. Remember, if JESUS didn't suffer the CROSS, We Wouldn't Have Access To HEAVEN. When we claim to be a Christian, we have to bare a Cross in different forms. Without the help of GOD, WE CAN'T BE SUCCESSFUL. But through the Power of JESUS BLOOD, We Can Do It, BUT IT'S A CHOICE. Trusting GOD TOTALLY, Through Your Pain Will Make YOU, Ms. A, a Victor Regardless of what your spouse decides to do. Question: When it's all said and done, Can You HONESTLY Say That You've Done ALL That You HAD The Power To Do... Inspite of Your Spouse? Can You??? Note::: Doing Your Best, Even With The POWER If GOD, Does Not Mean Your Spouse Will Change Right Away, Because he does have a choice too. Do Your Part As A True and Strong Woman of GOD, And ALLOW GOD To Deal With Your Hubby. HE'S Always Working On Our Behalf. We just don't feel it sometimes.
Sometimes when we're going through, we can sometimes become what we Don't like. The enemy can influence us to Take Offense With A Word That Is Meant To Heal Us. The enemy has been taking GODS WORD and flipping it since the Garden of Eden, and because Eve Allowed the voice or thought to penetrate her mind toooooooo long, we are where we are now.
I know this is a year old message, and I Pray that the both of you have grown, or at least have the Desire To Grow Spiritually... Even the spouse. Who Knows How GOD Will Use You A D Your Marriage To GLORIFY HIS KINGDOM (Amen).
I started out with "Eyes Wired Shut", because We can be the reason that the scales are still there, Without Seeing That We Are The Cause For Our Own Blindness, Due To Unforgiveness, Grudges, Blame Game (though your pain is justifiable), etc. Also, things and advice that people tell you that you are to follow Is Easier Said Than Done, especially if your shoes hadn't been walked in by them. I Can Say That I Do UNDERSTAND, Because I've Been There. GOD WON'T FAIL YOU! Sometimes our JOYOUS ENDING Is Not The Way We Thought, But It's Still All GOOD:).
I pray you have a strong support system, And real friends who will hold you Accountable In Love, and Not Become A Cheerleader that's keeps you a victim.
I also pray that what I was led to share while I really wanted to be in bed, so I can be ready for 8:00 service in a few hours, will be received with an open and pure heart.
Love You Sis! Please Stay Encouraged!!!!
Trina M.
Trina Minnieweather THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I realize your comment was a year ago, & I hope 🙏 you see this, I'm going through some issues in my marriage and your words, as well as the video messages are quite encouraging & helpful! ☺️
And very much appreciated!
Hi Trina .. what very special ways you have for writing what is in your heart for others ... Would really love to have the views you shared on an email if you don't mind me asking . I tried to copy all your wise words but can't find a way to do that unless you know how it's possible. I don't know why it's not possible in these days of hi tech etc. Blessings and Righteous favour for you and all your family from the throne of Grace, in the awesome name of his begotten son , our Lord JESUS CHRIST . One day soon , every knee shall bow down at his feet and every tongue shall confess JESUS IS LORD TO THE G L O R Y OF OUR FATHER . WHAT A FATHER , SO MUCH LOVE AND SO MUCH IMAGINATION TO CREATE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WORLD AND HAVE HIS SON TAKE OUR PLACE AT CALVARY ...AND NOW THE WHOLE WORLD CAN BE RECONCILED BACK TO OUR FATHER ..THE ONLY ONE TRUE GOD AND LORD OF ALL. ( 2 COR 5 V19, REV 5V13, 21V5 . ). James D
This hurts...My Divorce papers sighed!!This is so terrible to go threw..
In 13 years I never, ever heard this from my husband! I don’t even remember he said he wanted me, he ignores, reject and cheated on me as well.. passive aggressive is tremendously hurtful!! I’m filing for divorce , broken but standing on Gods word
Go to God 100 percent. God is always first. Obey God's word.
Communication difficulties is a very general issue but everyone’s circumstances differ even if similar circumstances exist. No one is abnormal, there are just different areas of concern that are specific to a couple’s inability to communicate in a healthy manner that demonstrates lovr and all the things that come along with healthy communication. Some people suffer through different spirits that effect who they are toward their spouse that’s why you have to include god completely and give him all control! You have the right to communicate any feeling you have when you’ve placed god at the head of your life and marriage and you have the ability to follow his lead in handling the response and reaction you’re faced with! This video will always be relevant to unhealthy communication in general and specific to what it addresses!
this only helps some. a women can be as kind.gentle. and poise with her words and her husband will still blow up. no matted how much she encrypts her language. love is key and most men dont have it within their egos of dominance
You are describing an abusive narcissist. I live this everyday. Although I'm working on an escape right now.
Yes you’re correct. These marriage videos work in regular, we are both sinners type of marriage issues, but it is NOT MEANT for abusive situations. If you are experiencing patterns of abuse, emotional, verbal, financial, sexual, etc nothing works and the prions to BE SAFE and you must at the very least separate. Check out Leslie Vernick info about destructive marriages
I think a number of marriage difficulties stem from people's relationships with their siblings. Passive aggresive behavior is taught between two or more immature minds. A mature person recognizes that passive aggressive behavior defeats the purpose. The behavior does not get you what you want, so why waste your energy? Plus, if you really love someone you don't want him or her to feel bad. The better your spouse feels, the easier it is to enjoy the time you two share. Nothing can be gained by trying to teach your spouse (or any adult) a lesson. What you are really saying is that you are an angry person and you do not believe your spouse is thoughtful or intelligent. Even though it is the most difficult thing you can do, have faith. If faith doesn't work, then that is ok. Renew faith in yourself and know that you are not alone in this struggle. Marriage takes 100% effort by both people. You are not expected to carry the weight alone.
awesome word im going to put this to practice tank you fro your insight what a blessing you are
Wow, never heard this insight b4 regarding marriage. This is great advice.
This is awesome!
I think the faces of the attendees taking notes are the best.
My wife just Doesn’t get that her tone is EVERYTHING!!
Alright...what are you not getting about her ?
@@lighttheway5088 Totally hostile and dense of you, man. Tone of voice is (almost) everything when you speak.
Psalm 62:1-2
Truly my soul silently waits for God;
From Him comes my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be greatly moved.
Good stuff
The right thing always pops up. I'm definitely struggling with some passive aggression right now. I'm having trouble with smoking cravings during pregnancy ever since my fiance started smoking again. I'm angry toward him (& moreso myself), but then I know I shouldn't let his actions control me so much & that that's no excuse to lash out at him, but I also have so many feelings about it. Particularly with pregnancy hormones uping everything. Part of me wants to communicate how it's driving me crazy, another part wants to snap at him, & another part doesn't want to be angry and just wishes this feeling would pass without any communication. I mean I don't even know what to say.
I'm married to a Covert Narcissist.
I'm trying to find a life coach
Well, you said “I do”. What does that say about you?
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS... WHAT ARE THE THREE RESTAURANTS??!!!! 😂😂😂
I agree!!
Can't be committed to a Marriage when separated..
Yes you totally can be committed to your marriage while separated. Keeps your vows, honor and serve your spouse and put in the hard work of changed behavior consistently over time, without demanding anything in return. You may be separated but you are STILL married.
In a fight , my husband threatened me of no for sex. What kind of communication it is. Twice he did this to me. I was in tears.. is it right? Because my husband doesn't listen anything apart from Bible.
I can’t stand passive aggressive people. They just seem like children so it’s like nails on a chalk board to bend to their will and hear them out.
Jimmy I was wondering if you could teach a lesson on when the wife shuts down emotionally I cant get through to her and shes hurting me I turned it all over to god
Brian Shaffer women usually shut down when you hurt them but they don’t feel they can safely express it.
Get to a good pastoral counselor....be willing to get help!!
The advice you give here will work if you are dealing with a normal spouse. But if you are dealing with a personality disordered person this advice will not apply. People take what you say to heart. But you are assuming that the difficult spouse is normal. Personality disorders are not normal and more common than one might expect, and trying to deal with that type person as a normal person is a recipe for crazy making .
You make an excellent point.
Dinahsoar it depends on the PD as well, but I believe in most cases if you apply consistency to this they will eventually see that you have changed or that you are serious. Personality disorders are not always permanent, many times they are deep rooted, learned patterns and can be unlearned if the person is willing. Sometimes there can also be an evil spirit causing it but not in every case. I have adhd which causes me to be very reactive immediately as I process things. It took years for me to understand this. My husband is very patient but consistent and loving. I wanted to change bc I love him and I know he doesn’t deserve that from me and I have to try to filter what I think and filter my emotions. Look up information about bio reactions in conversations. If we can be aware we’re having a bio reaction and not an actual emotion caused by a person, or if we can be aware of our problem we can notice when it happens and with Jesus help we can change it. It takes time.
Yes. Some spouses need deliverance from demonic forces.
Exactly!! I was scapegoated by a very malignant sociopathic personality disordered father. I went no contact a few years ago. He abused my mom and me. Absolutely no conscience. She passed away after years of diseases. Unfortunately, I married 2 men like him.I'm currently in my second marriage, and the more knowledge I have gained about this the worst he has become. He's verbally abusive, extremely manipulative and a ticking time bomb. Now I'm planning my escape. I am having major surgery soon and I had to document everything with a therapist. I have other people helping me.
Not sure if my wife has a personality disorder but she drives herself crazy with the thought of me cheating... it has now driven me crazy! After 2 years of phone surveillance and checking dirty clothes going through my drawers and she even did a background check on me and my family I’m done! No I haven’t cheated on my wife and now she wants to work it out... I’m mentally about to have a breakdown with all the accusations... the damage is done... even if she stopped doing all these things I’m always under constant stress that she could be... it causes paranoia and arguments...
i get punished for everything! My husband learned the middle finger was what he said, was a joke! Not to me, but my heart didn't matter, and nothing was stressful, until then? He says he a Christian!
Very hurtful.....you need to walk away when he's hurtful....pray the Word over him....."Husband's love your wives as Christ loved the church & gave himself up for her!!!"
Ask His help to get through it all....He's faithful!!
My husband tries to hurt me on purpose.
That's childish and not safe.
This sends the wrong message. I am a secure woman who wants respect with an insecure husband (who I deeply love) who wants validation. Reacting with compassion towards someone who behaves passive aggressively is very much a challenge despite compassion being the goal, but has NOTHING to do with a person's sex. Being "soft" with your husband will do NOTHING to placate him if he is PA and does not love and accept himself FIRST. It will lead him to abuse you emotionally. This video is essentially telling women to tiptoe around their husbands' fragile egos instead of the husband developing his emotional intelligence and taking responsibility in adulthood for childhood wounds. I appreciate your trying to help, but perpetuating the Mars/Venus stereotype is unhelpful, and worse, harmful to relationships. Not all men want and need the same things and the same goes for women. Most don't know that, however, because social input like this video constantly endeavors to tell men and women how they are supposed to think, feel and behave. Every human being deserves love and compassion, and we should all strive to give it freely, but that does not mean it absolves an individual - man or woman - from recognizing and working through their own crap so that they can in turn be loving and compassionate toward others.
You blew that out of the water. Lol 100% Agreed. My husband is exactly like that. Except he calls me ( and a friend of his sometimes ) a bully, when we try to let him know he's crossed a line with either of us. Passive aggression is an interesting combo of being mean as shite, but soft and fragile. He has no qualms about about being shitty but is very sensitive at the same time. It's maddening. Sorry for the rant. Lol
you right, this kind of teachers categorize all men and women in a box
perscription meds works for most people with the same symptoms. There are those who will not respond to the treatment and will require further diagnosis
I think our fragile egos also stem from thinking we need to come up Superman 100% the time. We do need to be able to accept our imperfections as well as our wives need to accept them too. How do you show love and compassion when he left the garage door open or how does he show love and compassion when he found you've been driving the car for weeks with the check engine light blinking red? I don't mind correction from my wife and I have to separate the voices that say You're the worst thing that ever happened to her, you are incompetent, etc. It's a two part thing. I need from her that I am still trusted even after being corrected.
You've just held a mirror to my nightmare. I'm nice, he doesn't listen. I'm loud and angry he says he'll change if I speak kindly and softly. But the problem is simply that he doesn't want to be better. He enjoys being broken! And he wants me to be the one to fix him! So it's always, "So, what should I do?" Or the one that annoys me most: "tell me in 5 points what you would like me to change... How do you suggest I accomplish that?" Jesus, please help!
Get the scripture out. Both are to submit.
Jimmy have you got scripture to go with what your preaching?. Have you read the Bible from Genesis to Reverlation?
He quotes scripture in this message.
Lol... And when you call your wife the c word??? This guy....
Well, it is fair for the guy to have his breakfast at his favorite place. There is no need to force him to have breakfast where you would like to have one? Did you ask him if he would like to eat at restaurant near golfcourse? Why force your will on him either? God never forces his will on anyone. Who gives you any right to force him to have breakfast at your chosen place. You could have stopped car at his favorite location while he packs or eats there and then drive to your place and have your breakfast there. Everyone has RIGHT to eat where they want to eat. Did you HEAL yourself from habit of forcing your will on others? If I were in place of your "passive aggressive "friend, I would ask you to stop car at that restaurant while I atleast pack my breakfast to eat later or in car. If you had denied I would have made that clear and denied to accompany you in future.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is the most sexist thing I have ever heard!
No, it isn't. He's far from sexist. It's just a double-standard to oppose abuse in men and be all right with it in women.
i do not see that at all
The things he said while speaking to the woman ...💜. Communication is very important. Truth is powerful. Kindness is everything. 😊 God help us all! ☀