The Stages Of Dumpers Remorse

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  • Опубликовано: 23 июл 2024
  • www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/q... - Take our free 2-minute quiz to figure out what kind of chance you have of winning your ex back.
    1. Absolutely Certain Stage
    2. Rationalization Stage
    3. The Protection Stage
    4. They're Gone Forever Stage
    5. The Nostalgic Reverie Stage
    6. The Fear Of Loss Stage
    7. The Regret Stage
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Комментарии • 248

  • @schylerjohnson9216
    @schylerjohnson9216 Год назад +222

    If it takes a year for someone to realize they’re missing out on a positive, healthy well rounded relationship..I don’t want em

    • @xhango0kx
      @xhango0kx Год назад

      Seriously wtf. After a year just getting into the loss phase? Fuck out of here . Ain't nobody got time for that 😂

    • @madj7152
      @madj7152 Год назад +5

      Nope. My ex was abusive so I dumped him. I will never regret my decision.

    • @matt1yas
      @matt1yas 7 месяцев назад

      @@madj7152all of these videos are assuming that the relationship was healthy

    • @Wildanimal864.
      @Wildanimal864. 2 месяца назад

      ⁠@@madj7152ehhh people change chances are he feels bad about it, it’s worth going on a few date with him to see if he’s legit . You can always leave again. But men who don’t get second chances tend to bottle it up for someone else. So yes he deserves another chance. Disney gave us a delusional view of relationships. People need to endure more we leave @ the slightest thing.

    • @DaDrumerBoi
      @DaDrumerBoi 7 дней назад

      Well Said.... LIFE is TOO SHORT....

  • @rositabenson898
    @rositabenson898 2 года назад +529

    They always come back, Don’t stress!!!! Just Relax.

    • @guitarpeot123
      @guitarpeot123 2 года назад +15

      I want my ex back because we have a 3 year old boy together,, but i do not need her back. 8 years together. She moves on so quickly, lightening fast, living and sleeping with someone else all within a month right after our breakup.

    • @lucasaveyard6282
      @lucasaveyard6282 2 года назад +62

      @@guitarpeot123 she for the streets bro

    • @urmomsfavtoy1159
      @urmomsfavtoy1159 2 года назад +36

      @@guitarpeot123 she was cheating bro that’s why

    • @guitarpeot123
      @guitarpeot123 2 года назад +4

      @@urmomsfavtoy1159 i thinking that's what happen. It will have been a year ago next month,, still a little traumatized by it. Found out they have known each other since childhood. There happy and engaged. All unicorns and rainbows for them.

    • @outroseok
      @outroseok 2 года назад

      they’re talking to someone new though :(

  • @bystandersarah
    @bystandersarah Год назад +84

    Even if he comes back, I cannot take him back. It hurts so much but it’s not possible for me to accept him back. I would never feel trust or safety in the relationship after being left.

    • @joev7014
      @joev7014 Год назад +11

      I know what you mean. I’d rather be single than take this person back just to get hurt again

  • @nathanielola3462
    @nathanielola3462 2 года назад +122

    Make them work for your validation when they comeback,
    And never give them everything like what you did in the past,
    Make the invest in you

    • @alfredhitchcock9264
      @alfredhitchcock9264 Год назад +10

      Dont do that , im talking from experience, let em go, that hurts more.

  • @pawel3241
    @pawel3241 Год назад +58

    I won't take back someone who allowed to build an emotional attachment with some other guy behind my back and jumped to the other relationship. Lying, and betrayal is something not worth returning to. It's just sad a person can destroy over 7 years of relationship.

    • @Meyouletsgo
      @Meyouletsgo Год назад +1

      This happened to me too 😢 he broke up and end up with a new perosn

    • @matthewkeim
      @matthewkeim 4 месяца назад

      Going through that now..6 years together. Have a 4 year old.. she became a stranger basically over night...Shits tough.. How you holding up these days?

  • @kristiannoel4866
    @kristiannoel4866 2 года назад +88

    There was a time when I didn't think a dumper had any remorse until I had to do it myself, and I hated myself for hurting someone who was only trying to reach out for somebody special. I thought they were callous, or cowardly.

    • @---wj7zu
      @---wj7zu 7 месяцев назад +1

      at least they ve reached out. mine never did.

  • @robpz448
    @robpz448 Год назад +166

    Guys / woman. Read this closely. Take it directly to heart. If you were dumped or a dumper , it is not your fault. Relationships run their course. You both still love and care about eachother that's a promise even if one person gets mad at the other etc. Whatever the reason of the breakup. As long as neither was physically or verbally abusive and you weren't a pos in general that's all you can do. When it's over between you two (currently my situation after a 14 year relationship) the only thing you can do is not talk. If you're the dumpee what you don't want to do is be a stalker and push her. Make a couple of attempts on the beginning to reconcile , if she or he doesn't reciprocate, that's when you walk the other way. Furthermore, your breakup will literally feel like you're dying. You won't be able to eat , sleep and there will be pain in your heart. This is what happens when your heart gets broken. Just a reminder. Take each day one day at a time.

    • @carloscabrera5311
      @carloscabrera5311 Год назад +6

      Wow...this is deep. Thanks for taking the time.

    • @landscapingbestfast7029
      @landscapingbestfast7029 Год назад +5

      I really need some help. I wish I can talk to someone. My wife left with my 4 kids

    • @APsGTG
      @APsGTG Год назад

      Lol. So false. It is the dumpers fault. Maybe they need to learn how to be logical and not act like a child out of emotion all the time.

    • @stormvet3806
      @stormvet3806 Год назад +1

      Thank you for this.

    • @user-un6hq1hc8o
      @user-un6hq1hc8o 4 месяца назад

      I find drugs help

  • @isabelleboulay2651
    @isabelleboulay2651 4 месяца назад +6

    some dumpers have no remorse. If they do, they're just realizing the pain they've created. Carry on, you will both get over one another eventually. Learn the lessons and bid farewell.

  • @BinaryTechnique
    @BinaryTechnique 24 дня назад +4

    Shes dating someone else. In the meantime ive worked on my health, and wealth. Ive made major progress in muscle growth, self care, and committed myself to my career. I can tell my market value has increased just by my daily interactions. Women literally openly flirting with me, now my ex is constantly texting me. Few years ago i wouldve done anything, LITERALLY ANYTHING to be in the position im in right now with her. But, now? I want give myself to someone more deserving.

  • @yannski1973
    @yannski1973 Год назад +73

    By the time you’ve grown, you will need some very good reasons to actually take them back. Have they grown? Do you trust them again? Good communication without judgment is key here. But when someone hurts you so insanely much by leaving (unless you are a foul individual) do you want to take that risk again? Just thinking out loud here…

    • @baggergurl16
      @baggergurl16 Год назад +1

      These are all good questions to think about during no contact

    • @sirg-had8821
      @sirg-had8821 8 месяцев назад

      Never take them back.

  • @gymrachel
    @gymrachel 7 дней назад +3

    I think he actually got a kick out of hurting me.
    So so cold.

  • @eggs3015
    @eggs3015 2 года назад +89

    That video game analogy makes perfect sense. I did 30 days NC then I reached out to my ex first. I didn’t do the internal growth. So when the opportunity came he was open/receptive to getting back together but still had a lot of reservations. I pushed too hard and he pulled away again. Now I’m back in NC all over again (day 24). I’m feeling more secure this time around (so I’m making NC indefinite). I don’t plan on reaching out first this time. In our last convo I told him that I still loved him, but I would respect his decision. If he decides to reach out first this time around we can talk, but if he doesn’t I’ll just move on. I’ve done enough.

    • @maddycordaro8538
      @maddycordaro8538 2 года назад +7

      I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would advise you to never contact your ex during no contact or have a set date where you have to contact them as that will never work out as you might end up contacting them too early. You have to move on and make them contact you. They have to go through the grief as well as if not, they will never learn and will give you for granted

    • @himjk7534
      @himjk7534 Год назад +1

      Any updates?

    • @eggs3015
      @eggs3015 Год назад +11

      @@himjk7534 we got back together for awhile & things were great, but he unexpectedly called things off again. We’ve been broken up for about 8 months now. We started talking and flirting again for a couple of months but I put an end to that two weeks ago because I want more than he’s ready to commit to at this time. He reached out to me yesterday, but things are the same. No change. I think we both have a hard time letting go.

    • @hammadvasim6466
      @hammadvasim6466 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@eggs3015 what now any further updates 🙄

    • @eggs3015
      @eggs3015 8 месяцев назад

      @@hammadvasim6466 lol we stopped talking a year ago. He reached out a month ago randomly, but I did not respond. I’m dating someone else now. He’s in the past now 🤷‍♀️

  • @kwc7391
    @kwc7391 4 месяца назад +5

    I am having dumpers remorse for the past 10 months. I dumped my ex because I was more of an option than anything else. Always being last on her list. I believe she is also a covert narcissist. Which I don’t understand why in the world, I even keep thinking about her. I know that if we would ever get back, I could not get back because of knowing how she treated me. She is now seeing a married man which has lowered my expectations of her even more. And yet I keep thinking about her, I don’t understand why. I’m having a hard time moving on and she is doing just fine. But I feel that this does not make me a narcissist.

  • @nickf2170
    @nickf2170 2 месяца назад +16

    Don't be naive about breakups. When someone quits on you, there is no going back and its just that f***ing simple. If it wasn't good then, it will not be good now. And, odds are, it will be even worse. Treat yourself to some self respect, never speak to anyone who betrays your trust. EVER.

  • @freelancerider100
    @freelancerider100 6 месяцев назад +5

    Dont go back to anyone who doesnt appreciate your value

  • @inspiredx3866
    @inspiredx3866 2 года назад +31

    These stages are very familiar Ive noticed in my experience. . well done summarizing all of this.

  • @callumraza5046
    @callumraza5046 4 месяца назад +3

    Im an avoidant, im just terrified of relationships. I'm always nostalgic about my single days. I just dont feel we ever have regret either, life moves quickly for us

  • @TheGalilee416
    @TheGalilee416 4 дня назад

    Really enjoying your channel - thank you for the info!

  • @franciskoomson7312
    @franciskoomson7312 Год назад +1

    Excellent, very sensible. Thanks

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 Год назад +7

    The shifts in energy in a dismissive avoidant. The are emotional phobics so it feels good to them. Theyre parents didn't teach them to resolve conflict. Give them space. If it takes months move on but if they show up at that time ; they found out your moving on and are nervous they made the wrong decision.

  • @wilfridjoseph6172
    @wilfridjoseph6172 2 года назад +10

    Early Gang!!! Always love Chris's content always on point.

  • @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw
    @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw 6 дней назад +1

    I supported my X despite her insecurities and cold 🥶 attitudes. We had an argument. She left me. I tried to win her back. Pointless. She blocked 🚫 my cellphone and I blocked her. It's been 6 to 7 months. My X haven't hovered me yet. I moved on. No more eggshells.

  • @cocamila
    @cocamila 2 года назад +14

    Chris, please do video on men who doesn’t want relationship/commit!

  • @mona237
    @mona237 2 года назад +21

    FYI, my timeline has usually been 2 years after a really bad breakup. And this is from the most stubborn of exes so it can and does happen

    • @joev7014
      @joev7014 Год назад +1

      My ex always reached me after 6 months…. Pretty annoying that they come back when you stop caring

    • @hitman52dj
      @hitman52dj Год назад +1

      What’s a really bad breakup ?? Please define that

  • @teresaolofson8059
    @teresaolofson8059 2 года назад +5

    Chris do u have a video on building that internal and external growth to Keep them when they come back? You last comment at the End of this Video.

  • @abh1899
    @abh1899 Год назад +8

    i never regret when i dumped someone, because i never truly loved that guy... but when i was dumped this time, i dont know and not sure there will be a regret for him but what im sure is... we truly loved and cared eachother and somehow we still do....

    • @joev7014
      @joev7014 Год назад +3

      Trust me if he truly loved you, he will contact you. Only the ones that really loved you will contact if you give them lots of space to think. No contact worked for me before. My recent ex broke up with me and I know she loves me…… but I think I screwed up by being needy so in my case no contact will help cuz I’ll look more independent

  • @NewPhone-zn2wy
    @NewPhone-zn2wy Месяц назад +2

    I'm not having them back

  • @Cjslvdr
    @Cjslvdr Год назад +8

    I hate to be the one who deals with dumper’s remorse. I only broke up with him because it’s becoming toxic between up😢. I don’t want us to hurt each other longer to the point that I’d hate him. I genuinely love my ex and I miss him

  • @melissabrzescinski494
    @melissabrzescinski494 Год назад +6

    I was the dumper a couple of months ago and I regretted it almost immediately. I was suffering from a great deal of physical pain from sciatica which caused a lack of sleep and a lot of pain medication that barely touched the pain. I groveled but he didn’t accept me or want to reconcile. I’ve since had back surgery and the difference in myself has been night and day - I’m me again, except I’m heartbroken. I feel bad for hurting him. We’ve been talking again on text for a few weeks now but he doesn’t seem to want to see me. It’s killing me. He even sends pictures of him like he used to and we have been watching Start Trek together every week (from our homes, so cyber-dates). I don’t know if I should hold out hope for us or just let him go. I’m confused. I still love him.😢

    • @pabl1to33
      @pabl1to33 Год назад +6

      You should talk openly to him. It seems like both you dont address the elephant in the room. Acting like everything is fine but dont talk about the important things in a relationship.. Communicate how you feel and understand where hes coming from. Talk about what both of you need to do to make this work again..

    • @melissabrzescinski494
      @melissabrzescinski494 11 месяцев назад

      @@pabl1to33 update: we’re taking things slowly right now. We have a date set-up for tomorrow night. He asked me to have patience with him because he’s caregiver for his Dad with Alzheimers (really bad) so he has a lot on his plate. We had a nice date a couple weeks ago too. We’re getting closer again. Thank you for your input. Cheers!

    • @sirg-had8821
      @sirg-had8821 8 месяцев назад +1

      You dumped *him*.
      Be enough of an adult to stand by your decision.

    • @jabrilbedeir2458
      @jabrilbedeir2458 20 дней назад

      Gives me hope my ex gf will miss me

  • @ireenshion8627
    @ireenshion8627 2 года назад +11

    What if the regret stage comes in sooner ...like 3 month after break up they are already regretting..does it mean they gone through all this stages?

  • @gsuper2009
    @gsuper2009 2 года назад +23

    That happened to me. I saw my ex and we talked for a hour and a half catching up. It felt like we were together again. Said bye and the next day she told me she wanted me to move on.

    • @joev7014
      @joev7014 Год назад

      Same for me. I guess we gotta just stay no contact cuz talking to them doesn’t do anything

  • @StarlightPrincess70
    @StarlightPrincess70 Год назад +3

    I wonder what the statistics are of how many dumpers that actually go through these stages and how many just feel relief after breaking up and just move on with their life?

  • @realtoreal2359
    @realtoreal2359 2 года назад +10

    If they cheated on you and u have to end it does that make u the dumpee? Because I still feel like the dumpee I’m hurt but I had to end it because they will jus hurt me more also it’s a long distance relationship with lies I can’t do it no more

  • @kyleharr10
    @kyleharr10 8 месяцев назад +3

    Dude i love starcraft!! Thats so crazy you talked about it.

  • @shebutter3195
    @shebutter3195 Год назад +8

    I broke up with my DA again out of emotion. I love him but feel that he sabotaged our relationship. I felt remorse about 6 weeks in. He refuses to talk to me now and I’m miserable. I’m an AP and wanna communicate and problem solve and he is punishing me with the silent treatment.

  • @satosansu
    @satosansu 8 месяцев назад +3

    does this apply when they found someone new after a month of breaking up?

  • @trippytoes7776
    @trippytoes7776 2 года назад +82

    I can say that to be true .. they do all come back ! Given the worst of situations .. 😛

    • @guitarpeot123
      @guitarpeot123 2 года назад +2

      @@Shivamchandra007 my gf left me after 7 years, we have a son together. She has not been back, it has been 9 months.

    • @Shivamchandra007
      @Shivamchandra007 2 года назад +1

      @@guitarpeot123 be love yourself buddy. There is no true love it's just a condition.

    • @guitarpeot123
      @guitarpeot123 2 года назад +1

      @@Shivamchandra007 I'm gonna take that to heart. Makes so much sense mr. Thank you..

    • @Shivamchandra007
      @Shivamchandra007 2 года назад +2

      @@guitarpeot123 live your life she's gonna regret it later.

    • @guitarpeot123
      @guitarpeot123 2 года назад

      @@Shivamchandra007 i like your wisdom brother.

  • @nickvanderpeet4712
    @nickvanderpeet4712 5 месяцев назад +3

    Does that go for friends too?
    My friend just told me no text and calls..

  • @cj_8686
    @cj_8686 4 месяца назад +1

    Im doing my best to do no contact. Whats difficult for me is we have 2 boys together. So i cant go complete NC but she reaches out everyother week to see how im doing. I keep it short and respectful and try not to ask about her too much. I ask how she is doing just to recepicste when she ask how i am doing. If its a text i keep it one or two words ex: im well, work is busy. Weve been in NC for a month today. Next weekend we planned to meet up however the meet up was a set date from when we started NC wish now maybe im thinking wasnt a good idea. However ive grown since then by s lot, still have a way to go but i can handle what ever happends. Any advice from anyone??

  • @dennisporter-avis7576
    @dennisporter-avis7576 2 года назад +37

    I want my ex to suffer for what she did to me

  • @Bonnadorable
    @Bonnadorable 10 месяцев назад +3

    What is the long-term success rate for relationships after NC runs its course?

  • @erincappoli4358
    @erincappoli4358 Год назад +9

    My ex is getting so bad. I am doing no contact. He keeps texting not nice things to me & saying messed up things to friends.

    • @nbee6217
      @nbee6217 Год назад +1

      The block button can be your friend.

  • @Kobeautycincy
    @Kobeautycincy 2 года назад +6

    Omg. Does it always take this long?!

  • @lulunicole1818
    @lulunicole1818 2 года назад +10

    Here’s my case…. A few months ago we got into it over his wrong doing and he didn’t talk to me for 17 days. I thought that’s ok sometimes space can be a good thing. But now anytime we fight over anything, he will want to not speak for WEEKS. 3 times so far within 4-5 months he has done this … the 2nd time he went 20 days then the last time he went 21 days. We got into a fight a few days ago and he is wanting to not talk to me for awhile. It’s like he doesn’t want to communicate period . Nothing at all. He just wants to not speak about the issue, not talk for 3-4 weeks, then come back & act like he didn’t just do that & when I bring it up when he comes back he tells me to get over it or don’t talk to him. Idk what to do bc he is being coming comfortable with space from me . It’s like We’ll talk for 2 week then we get into a little argument then it’s space. We have become horrible. I’m having crazy crazy resentment issues for him bc he thinks he can treat me how he wants and I’m always gonna be there. He doesn’t fear losing me, he doesn’t seem to care about me at all . He takes me for granted while I chase after him like a little kid. But when he comes back he tells me how he misses me and all this. On top of everything he seems to be looking around for other women it’s it clear by his actions & the jokes he makes that he is looking for someone new. He follows over 3000 girls & only 400 ppl follow him…: he goes to the club every single weekend, he jokes constantly about wanting something new. It’s really getting to me bc if he keeps looking he is gonna fine what he’s looking for eventually & it’s gonna ruined us completely. I need advice

    • @starlarose2216
      @starlarose2216 2 года назад +1

      I'm literally in that same predicament, we fight over how his actions and the way he talks to me, how he does things that clearly show he don't care, he turns it around on me and then disappears. At this point now he got upset over a picture I posted of me and my Guyfriend (who he hates) that took me out dancing when I was single (during a breakup and something I had been wanting to do FOR YEARS that he was to scared to do) and even thou I told him it right away after we got back together cuz I don't like not being honest, NOW he's flipping out over it, calling me all sorts of names and yelling and shouting at me and trying to break my vehicle, says it's over but then once I left he tried saying he says he's sorry that he knows I deserve better blah blah blah, but honestly? I think we should be done. No man if he loves you should leave you for weeks at a time. I told him I hate how he does that to me, but he still does it and now we're not going to be talking again. But I'm set on not going back. I think you should do the same. It's better to be lonely and single then to be lonely in a relationship. I'm going to church and trusting God with my future. I think it would be good for you to do the same, get back into your hobbies, do things that make you happy. I'm sure they'll both be back but we shouldn't keep letting them back in when they keep walking out so easily.

    • @maddycordaro8538
      @maddycordaro8538 2 года назад +7

      Let him go, he’s not worth it and you deserve a lot more. It’ll be very hard at first as you care about him and you want him in your life but you will get better trust me

    • @pabl1to33
      @pabl1to33 Год назад +2

      Sorry, but you need to wake up. You are in a dream state and not thinking clearly. You have a belief inside you that you dont deserve better and thay you wont find someone who will truly love you. Hes behaviour is child like and you should not tolerate this. Its time to focus on yourself and grow as a person. There are man out there who will give you exactly what you are looking for. You are wasting time when you could have someone that truly loves and supports you. I pray that you wake up to life.

    • @Leo-pv9zi
      @Leo-pv9zi 2 месяца назад

      Oh my... I am very sorry to tell you, but you have to let him go! Completely. His treatment of you is terrible. Do not reply to him anymore. You have to love yourself enough to not accept this anymore. Please, be strong.

  • @projectf025
    @projectf025 2 года назад +16

    I'm praying everyday all day that she comes back, I hope that my story will be successful 🙏

    • @revelationx9852
      @revelationx9852 Год назад +1

      Updates?)

    • @projectf025
      @projectf025 Год назад +8

      @@revelationx9852 it went well for 2 weeks and she flip flopped on me again and said we should just be friends I said sorry I'm not accepting that! Goodbye she started to beg and pleed I said sorry I won't be demoted from fiancé to friend

    • @revelationx9852
      @revelationx9852 Год назад +3

      @@projectf025 good job my man.

    • @kagamitaiga9167
      @kagamitaiga9167 6 месяцев назад

      @@projectf025youre a strong man

    • @alexanderalzate8560
      @alexanderalzate8560 4 месяца назад

      updates bro?

  • @Foxie635
    @Foxie635 3 месяца назад +2

    I am anxious who dated an avoidant anxious. I dumped him 3 times. He dumped me the third time I returned. Text book coupling of weirdos. But the sexual chemistry was insane.

  • @isradunia4070
    @isradunia4070 2 месяца назад +2

    Day 10 of nc and I actually don’t want him anymore

  • @XmummraX
    @XmummraX Год назад +2

    Does this apply to a narcissistic discard?

  • @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw
    @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw 6 дней назад +1

    My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. I don't think 🤔 she will come back. Besides, she will have to apologize were she's not good at. She would have to take off her mask.

  • @amaanmnm6776
    @amaanmnm6776 Год назад +2

    Had say most logical video out there

  • @Level4Bio
    @Level4Bio Год назад +4

    IMPORTANT: THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO NARCISSISTS/JEZEBELS! Read that again

  • @nirmeenqadi5920
    @nirmeenqadi5920 2 года назад +19

    He us so sure about the breakup that I am fully blocked everywhere ( hard block) and he called me a lot of things including toxic, manipulater and with a victim mentality and a lier, I ended up in therapy and healing now but I think it's safe to say that he us seriously serious about the breakup after being together for 6 years

    • @hmanfilms
      @hmanfilms 2 года назад +4

      He sounds like an emotional abuse

    • @dicerevo
      @dicerevo 2 года назад +2

      Wow. I was called the same literally word for word! Is there some manual they’re reading from? Twins and a marriage… she moves out next week.

    • @courageokwor7077
      @courageokwor7077 2 года назад

      Hey Nirmeen, how is it going now?
      I’m going through same issue now after 5yrs of being together.

    • @mortuusintus3257
      @mortuusintus3257 Год назад +3

      i was called the same too. not to mention controlling and posessive well all in fact she was the one who cheated in the first place and begged for me not to leave.

  • @frankib8620
    @frankib8620 2 года назад +6

    is true for women

  • @Rigoletta53
    @Rigoletta53 Год назад +4

    Interesting … we had no fights or any other drama!

  • @matjazb.157
    @matjazb.157 10 месяцев назад +3

    Don't fool yourself waiting and expecting that things will change after some time (NC). There is no guaranty. Even she comes it will never be the same. You just lost precious time waiting "for broken car to be fixed". Move on and do the best of yourself to gain new better option. It's just around the corner.

  • @tubesurf17
    @tubesurf17 2 месяца назад +1

    My ex is stubborn, in rebound. I made mistakes. I want 20 min catch up. To retract. How do i move .❤ What stages Do I have to follow as a rear tractor and other stages? 15:16

  • @neressakotas4396
    @neressakotas4396 Год назад +2

    all I can say if you walk away yes its definitely the right decision having no regrets what so every

  • @neressakotas4396
    @neressakotas4396 Год назад +1

    no mistake I didn't want you in my life I would never regret leaving you.

  • @kylaysabellecresencio2156
    @kylaysabellecresencio2156 2 года назад +8

    Does this really happen if you are the rebound? Hahaha

  • @lmart16
    @lmart16 2 года назад +2

    All these videos on YT assume the dumper is the Avoidant. There has to enough of us who've cut off Avoidants due to their inability to communicate. Anxious people CAN walk away. Or maybe I'm just super Secure - but in any case, the dumped are the Avoidants.

  • @alistening78
    @alistening78 Год назад +5

    I hope she will come back, it's been a month 😞

  • @BruceJC75
    @BruceJC75 2 месяца назад +1

    I wish I hadn’t broken no contact even in the tiniest ways I have.

  • @frankib8620
    @frankib8620 2 года назад +4

    CAN SOME HELP ME ?My gf dumped me just over 3 weeks ago, we went out for 18 month. It was pritty good till about the last week and she even said she loves me as she was dumping " i need to put myself first" is what she said. her friends dont like me i think they had a hand in it. she may have been flirting with someone else at work i but i have no proof. Her mum said she has been happy so far. ( her parents liked me) i was her first in the sack and longenst relationahip. i met her once after two weeks and we had a good 10 minute chat. but she sent me one text thst it was good to see me this was a week ago. i want to give her space for a month. can someone give me some advise. it hurts me bad, i wanna move on but i find it really hard. She is anxous personality. i mean classic

    • @mrisa4682
      @mrisa4682 2 года назад +2

      I’m going through a breakup too mate , currently 6 weeks of no contact, what I can is “if it’s meant to be , she’ll comeback “ if she doesn’t then slowly try to move on yeah , all the best bro

    • @frankib8620
      @frankib8620 2 года назад

      @@mrisa4682 Tottaly, take it as a life lesson. we will find partners and take what we learned from the last one make it 100x better

    • @mrisa4682
      @mrisa4682 2 года назад

      @@frankib8620 just do no contact bro & hope for the best , I’m doing it too it’s not easy at first , I’m feeling slightly better but I do feel sad but not as much anymore , time is the cure for u both to reconcile or to make u feel better and move on , maybe they’ll come back to us we won’t know , Just do no contact and hope for the best if it doesn’t turn out the way we want , I wish you all the best in life brother

  • @stu713
    @stu713 2 года назад +7

    Hey Chris, question for you, why does my ex (dumper) keep posting similar things as me? Like if I post something, she posts shortly after with a very similar thing. We’ve been broken up for 7 months

    • @AlexMartinez-fu1ih
      @AlexMartinez-fu1ih 2 года назад +1

      Dang man that kinda weird did you figure out why? I would say block her that way she has to look for you instead of trying to reach you through her little indirect signals

    • @amitagarwalfun
      @amitagarwalfun 2 года назад +2

      Quite clearly, she thinks about u and wants ur attention. That's why she does it. May be she also wants to again start relationship with u but is not approaching directly as, she fears rejection from u now and her ego is coming in way.

  • @hotrodZack1948
    @hotrodZack1948 7 месяцев назад +2

    A year lmao im well moved on and doing someone totally different by that time

  • @rebeccajohnson5658
    @rebeccajohnson5658 2 года назад +1

    Would an advoidant say too clingy?

  • @Visual_Jei
    @Visual_Jei 2 года назад +8

    I'm the avoidant personality in my situation and my ex is the kind of person that moves very quickly in relationships. He moved in with OW just 4 months after they started dating. Can you make a video about getting someone back if you are the avoidant?

    • @traviss977
      @traviss977 2 года назад +32

      Here's an idea, get therapy and stop hurting people

    • @kubel83
      @kubel83 2 года назад +25

      Not many wants to take an avoidant back. Especially if the person is dismissive avoidant.
      They are so mentally damaging to a relationship. They act similar to narcissists. They love bomb you. Share their traumatic past early on.
      And then suddenly out of nowhere they trigger over something silly, they become cold, busy at work. Ghost and then leave without a trace. Leaving their loved one behind in the cold dark. Confused and without answers about what just happened or went wrong.
      My personal experience I will never date an avoidant person again, and I know all the early signs.
      My avoidant ex ruined and drained me mentally. I had to walk on eggshells constantly in fear of expressing my love or trigger her.
      Obviously I lost and she just left.
      And even though she told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to her, because I was the exact opposite from what she came from.
      I was good looking, kind, respectful, loving, warm, interested etc etc. yet she treated me like garbage when she left.
      One day she said that she loved me so much, next day she left was ice cold.
      I didn’t hear from her for over a month, then she contacted me and apologized for her bad behavior and told me that it wasn’t my fault, and she begged me to take her back. So I did.
      Then she triggered a week after and ghosted and left me again...
      She mentally broke me. Cause how can you show so much love one day then next day treat you like a worm.
      I nearly took my own life and she didn’t give a rats ass.
      Then I pulled myself up. Worked on myself, worked out in gym and became ripped and strong. I got my life back on track.
      Then she contacted me again and told me she missed me and that I looked great.
      At that point I didn’t care what she thought anymore. And I told her to leave me alone, and go work on herself.
      I’m not gonna let her destroy me a third time.
      She’s still calling me though. But I just let it ring. I’m so done!
      So if you are an avoidant type person then here is my advice. Clearly you already know you are avoidant. Then what is your excuse for not working on yourself or getting professional help?
      Why are you dating? You shouldn’t because you ruin people with your behavior. Go fix yourself! Then start dating.
      And I don’t care you had a tough past. We all have something dark in our past. I lost my parents as kid. I have been almost stabbed by a crazy ex. I have been to war. Yet I don’t treat those I love like crap. What is your excuse? You have none. Stop being immature and go fix yourself.
      No one wants to date an avoidant if they know them. They are worse than narcissists. The narcissist is calculated. The avoidant is not. Ergo they can be more dangerous and damaging. Fix yourself or don’t date. Period.

    • @traviss977
      @traviss977 2 года назад +16

      So true kobel83, they destroy lives, I'm so sick of my avoidant ex. It pisses me off so bad that they know and won't get help. They belive they are always in the right. Just stop dating people! Go hide in a cave and never come out unless it's to get therapy!

    • @diilain
      @diilain Год назад +2

      @@kubel83 Honestly, this sounds like my ex. I was always at fault, yet when I tried to talk, I would end up on eggshells, not talking, and that was my fault. She would dump me and then come back all the time. She eventually dumped me by video in August and is with a new guy right after the breakup. I'm confused, but working on myself every single day, therapy, gym, courses and the like. Like you, I've gone to war on myself as I thought it was me, but the more I read, and whilst I accept my part in the breakup, I feel there is more to her than meets the eye. Also, I'm not blocked anywhere, I can contact her if I want which if she did not want me and is with someone else, why not block me?
      Thoughts?

    • @toyintokoya5956
      @toyintokoya5956 9 месяцев назад

      @@diilain I hope God punishes her for doing this to you! Avoidant are the ones damaging everyone

  • @weebplays6108
    @weebplays6108 2 года назад +7

    Is it possible for a dumper to not feel dumpers remorse?

    • @kite2199
      @kite2199 2 года назад +8

      If he doesn't love you at the first

    • @afrobetty4847
      @afrobetty4847 2 года назад +11

      yes, if they are socio-paths...

  • @Rjshadow11
    @Rjshadow11 6 месяцев назад +3

    For me, I'm just sad because I knew that my heart wasn't in the right place, but we had developed such a strong friendship underneath. So it wasn't just the relationship, I was losing my best friend. But breaking someone's heart and being able to keep that friendship is absolutely not possible. I know I wouldn't be able to stay friends if the roles were reversed. At least not for quite some time.
    I cry a lot and am feeling the melancholy. Breaking a loved one's heart and knowing you may never see them again is devastating, and I've had a few "Did I make a mistake?" Moments. But ultimately I just wasn't "in" love anymore, I knew it was more than just a typical "lull" that occurs in a longterm relationship, and even if we did get back together, he'd never trust me fully again. He'd have that seed of doubt - "When is she gonna fall out of love and break my heart again?". That's not fair.
    So yeah. I agree with the no contact rule. It helps you come to terms with things and get yourself sorted in terms of where you're going next.
    When you KNOW for sure that your heart isn't where it should be, you nave 2 options. 1) break their heart, and 2) drag them along and waste everyone's time.
    Regret is normal. But going back is likely going to result in a toxic cycle - people's hearts are not yo-yo's. You need to let go. Or at the very least, take a few years to live, reflect, and grow. Never act on impulse/heat of the moment. Always make sure you're 100% certain when you make a big decision to break up or to reach out/get back together.

  • @nicholasferrara4327
    @nicholasferrara4327 5 месяцев назад +1

    It’s just an excuse to sleep around

  • @jamalforrest2737
    @jamalforrest2737 2 месяца назад +1

    I wish this was true

  • @dezyriquez5764
    @dezyriquez5764 2 года назад +6

    We had a nasty breakup and I told him to never call me again after he hung up on me.......but now I miss him; I want him to call.......but I will never ever ever call him; do he will have to be the one to call!!!!!!

    • @chrisseitercoaching
      @chrisseitercoaching  2 года назад +6

      Hey Dezy, I think you need to consider what you want more, you told him not to call you so he may not ever reach out in fear of an angry response. I would suggest that you reach out via text in a friendly way so that he can see you are now open to communication.

    • @dezyriquez5764
      @dezyriquez5764 2 года назад +2

      @@chrisseitercoaching thank u......but he called yesterday 😂😅😂😂 30 days no contact....I was so happy but did not show it!!

    • @xmorowe
      @xmorowe 2 года назад +1

      @@dezyriquez5764 but you shouldn't ignore him, or he will think you don't want him anymore and then he probably really won't ever reach out.

    • @frankib8620
      @frankib8620 2 года назад +1

      @@dezyriquez5764 As a guy i can say if my gf called me i would be over the moon.

    • @frankib8620
      @frankib8620 2 года назад +1

      Scratch that..dont care now

  • @outroseok
    @outroseok 2 года назад +4

    are the stages the same if they’re talking to someone new??

    • @sweetcheese9080
      @sweetcheese9080 2 года назад +5

      they might be in rebound

    • @Meyouletsgo
      @Meyouletsgo Год назад

      I wonder too ! He broke up and was seeing someone new 😢

  • @majda108
    @majda108 4 месяца назад +1

    Soul ties😏

  • @noobster608
    @noobster608 2 года назад +13

    What if they have a new gf less than 2 weeks after the break up

    • @family_things1013
      @family_things1013 2 года назад +11

      I just went through this and believe other woman was on the scene before he ended it with me.

    • @Cameroll
      @Cameroll 2 года назад +3

      @@family_things1013 same here

    • @kphetchr
      @kphetchr 2 года назад +6

      He was seeing someone beforehand

    • @misreadgirl
      @misreadgirl 2 года назад +10

      He will feel the dumper's remorse after the honey moon period of this new rebound relationship is over..but the remorse is inevitable because of the quality of efforts/love/uniqueness you bring on is the thing which he will miss the most..but it may take usual than more time if he is with someone else..

    • @misreadgirl
      @misreadgirl 2 года назад +1

      I am in the exact same situation.

  • @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw
    @AugustusTiberius-tq1gw 6 дней назад

    I loved StarCraft. I got better at it. It was an awesome game.

  • @codyjones1098
    @codyjones1098 3 месяца назад +2

    move on!!!! You are not a care taker for the unbalanced, emotional trainwreck!

  • @jonathanmadrigal5459
    @jonathanmadrigal5459 2 года назад +10

    is it the same with women dumpers

    • @glaimynnecadungon1643
      @glaimynnecadungon1643 2 года назад +19

      No, women don't leave a man easily. We usually exhaust ourselves before leaving.. But if we leave, we do not come back.. It is because at the back of our minds, we did everything and we are finally not going back.

    • @georgieswlrd1213
      @georgieswlrd1213 2 года назад

      Yes my ex dumped me years ago and now she regrets it

    • @Pantii
      @Pantii 2 года назад +11

      @@glaimynnecadungon1643 You are speaking for yourself actually.

    • @frankib8620
      @frankib8620 2 года назад +2

      @@glaimynnecadungon1643 what if she said she still loved during the break up. she could have just said i have no feeling for you. also lets not forget the " friends" will hype her to do it.

    • @Rawyalty220
      @Rawyalty220 2 года назад +2

      @@glaimynnecadungon1643 cap women always boomerang tf back