'Cheating Is Abuse,' An Interview with Nell Hudson

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  • Опубликовано: 22 дек 2024

Комментарии • 9

  •  Месяц назад +1

    I've only recently discovered the Chump Lady website and now subscribe to her emails which is how I found this episode. I admire women like Nell and so many others who are brave enough to tell their stories and, thank you, Tracy, for providing the platform, sharing your own story, and helping others to see that cheating really is abuse and that it is a double life. I loved when you said we need to clean up our language around cheating and just say what it is. I've never viewed my ex-husband's repeated infidelity through the lens of a double life and now I can't unsee it. That is exactly what it is. My FW was on dating apps as a married man - that is the epitome of a double life, right? You're work helps those cheated on process all the unfortunate drama of the reality they find themselves in, but more importantly, it's the "I see you and I'm rooting for you" mentality regarding the aftermath for me as well. Because like Nell points out, there really are few consequences the FW faces. I'm so glad I found your website and now the podcast. I wish I had found it sooner. My dishonest coward left last year, told me over the phone, after 24 years of marriage, after I had forgiven him multiple times years prior. I was so disgusted with myself for so long for "staying for the kids." And while I still struggle with that decision, that I now refer to as my doormat disease, I'm slowly learning to just let it go, release that bad energy, and forgive myself for allowing his repeated behaviors so that I can truly embrace what my current freedom means to me now. Our divorce was final earlier this year and it really does feel nice to just be at peace and away from him.

  • @LeoInterHyenaem
    @LeoInterHyenaem 2 месяца назад +3

    As a man, I want to thank you both for your stance on disloyalty. I am yet to finish listening to the story of Nell, but so far so good. Yes, shagging around may be a natural thing for the human male, but no Woman (or a girl, or animal, for that matter) should be a victim of it. If we learned to compose Baroque Concertos and Suites and sing Baroque Operas, draw and paint like Rembrandt and Velasquez, envision and produce Apple computers and iPhones, the UI and UX of the finest OS in the world (macOS / iOS), invent and write the code and jot up and bring into life a great hardware design, fine architecture and all the rest of it, then the best of us can curb their lowliest instincts, learn to Love, to sacrifice their instincts for it and to commit. If in nature the male's polygamy came at a cost - a daily risk of a cull by the competing males - then in the world of today, where no-one will slit your throat for shagging the woman he's eyeing - doing so is a dishonourable business. It's having a cake and eating it, too, at the expense of the victims of the male parasite's lust.
    N.B.: This is coming from a Man, by the way. A Man, who most minutely recognises the overt unsustainability of the modern sexual dynamics. A Man who wants to see Women Pure. Safe. Protected from corruption. A Man, who understands that the winners in this toxic, ugly dynamic are the ones devoid of capacity for Love.

  • @Vzz821
    @Vzz821 Месяц назад +2

    What a wonderful young lady and CL mentoring her on the predatory hoovering behaviour of the abuser (come closer so I can slap you - HOAC would describe it as Ted Bundy smiling at you trying to lure you into his car). This podcast started off kinda light and fun and by the end the rage of the victim was captured so well "these people should be in prison". The trauma is real.

  • @LosAngelesishome
    @LosAngelesishome 2 месяца назад

    Well done!
    You are Mighty!
    Thank you for your honesty! You are eloquent and well spoken. All FWs tell the other woman that their partner is inattentive and the relationship is sexless. I was with mine for over 40 years of sex at least 3 times a week. And he had a weekly hooker habit. He was in his mid 40s before he didn’t have sex with me the same day he saw the sex worker. And in his late 50s before he could no longer have sex the day after. But he got testosterone from an online doctor….
    You are brave and mighty for getting out before you had kids together. And before he spent all your money!
    As a woman who could be your mother, I am so so proud of you!❤❤

  • @geolou5691
    @geolou5691 2 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for sharing your story Nell. I think you're amazing for setting such strong boundaries. You probably know the OW in my story, she also worked on Call The Midwife. It might not be clear who though, as her façade is all about "supporting women" and how she's a victim of a broken home🙄

  • @floraposteschild4184
    @floraposteschild4184 2 месяца назад

    Thank you for this interview, ladies. It's what more people need to hear. I look forward to Nell's podcast.

  • @erinmorrow5001
    @erinmorrow5001 Месяц назад +1

    'Cheating is abuse'.....these are the words I entered in a google search after struggling with my now ex-husband's cheating. It took me awhile to break through all the lies / gaslighting /etc......not only from my ex, but also from counselors trying to convince me the problem was my 'narrow view' of infidelity 😂 The reconciliation industrial complex is such a joke and reeks of desperation.

  • @FishareFriendsNotFood972
    @FishareFriendsNotFood972 2 месяца назад +1

    If he met one of the cheating partners when she was still literally a child, she's a victim too. I also tend to see the affair partners as not so much handmaids of the patriarchy, but also chumps