Don't worry, we are emotional beings after all and we all act irrationally often doing what is NOT in our best interest. Hell, we could all be rich if we really wanted to, it's just that don't take the necessary steps that are required.
Daniel Brett Exactly, because it's the same idea. See the sick irony that the Nazis played was that you were going to work, but not be freed. But the statement is true outside of death camps. If you tend to do stuff, you get more chances to do what you want. If you tend to not do stuff, you'll hardly ever do anything you wish to do. At least that's how I figure it.
I’ve been learning about human emotions, human behavior, human psychology for almost three years. I’ve learned how important they are, and how they drive us, whether we realize it or not. By no means am I a “manly man” or a muscular one at that. Yet, I actually AGREE with Jocko. When it comes to the minor things, the 1’s and 2’s in life, if you’re constantly expressing your feelings about them, you’re basically admitting you can’t handle minor challenges in life. Being hungry is nothing. Having 20 emails to sort through is nothing. If you’re always venting, it shows he world you don’t know how to handle the stress and you don’t have the belief that you can resolve the issue. Think about it- babies cry because they absolutely cannot help themselves. Little kids complain because they are typically powerless to change things, or they believe a broken cookie somehow ruins their day. These are minor things that an adult can instantly navigate...or at least, they should be able to..... And to be clear, Jocko clarifies himself- MAJOR challenges should be expressed freely. Divorce? Death? Addictions? You can’t stuff those down. Many veterans try to, and sadly we have so many of them committing suicide because they don’t allow themselves to grieve and process the trauma.
This has always been one of my demons that I've battled with my whole life. Not being allowed or able to let out the 8.5's. Controlling the 1's & 2's are no problem for me. But I've never really had a way to release the major 8.5's & larger. Currently, I'm still trying to get over losing my now ex Fiancée. This is one of the 8.5 pluses on the Richter scale right now. But my circle of people I've got to talk to - they treat it like it's only a 1 or 2. I'm trying to forget her. But man, that's not so simple. She wasn't just some girlfriend for a few weeks that you can just dust off and move on to the next flower. She was all I wanted. I was going to marry her. I want to see maybe a councilor or something. But I have to be able to afford it first. I just want the pain to stop.
Button your lip, hold your tongue. Better they think you're stupid then open your mouth and remove all doubt. Don't show your cards. This is a great video for dealing with a narcissist. Watched it 4 times.
I've just come across this video and comment and I couldn't agree more, I'm currently going through my own changes to attract a better quality of life and people into it and it starts with this right here
The irony: an Iraqi guy: me watching an American man: him in a world where our nation's were at war this video brings us together - knowledge knows no race - God bless America - God bless Iraq - God bless the world - ooh raah
Mike Anderson 2002 Apparently you haven’t been listening to these guys either. Multiple times over they would denounce what you just did here to this guy. He expressed a positive vibe and something uniting. You did nothing but come out and act like the typical surly atheist that can’t control his emotional outbursts.
Don Z lmao what a idiot you made yourself to be. Religion is the cause of the most wars? Care to explain and provide more evidence? And just to put the cherry on top. You degrade religion basically say it’s bull crap. Then go on to say your not atheist. Even though earlier you said we don’t have answers to life and no knowledge on that etc. That’s basically what an atheist is. It’s literally someone who doesn’t believe. And thinks that a deity figure is unknowable. You dunce
It's not about keeping your emotions in. It's that there is a time and place for everything. And that time isn't right now, and that place isn't in public.
Crying is actually good for you- tears contain high concentrations of stress hormones. When you cry, the stress hormones are released and you feel better because they've left your body, but save crying for when you're on your own or with people you trust not to judge you for it or use it against you. If you're feeling sad, you're feeling sad. It doesn't help you get things done if you turn into a blubbering wreck every 5 minutes.
Don’t repress emotions, control them. Repressing is running away from the problem, controlling them is addressing it. You control them by realizing if these feelings are justified or not for the current situation. Challenge your emotions, hold them up to objective reality and draw the conclusion as to whether or not they make any sort of logical sense.
Jocko has some psychic power to understand, what i am going through. About a week ago it was how to get over a breakup now controlling emotions. Exactly what i need!
I'm going thru a breakup too and it sucks. she's gone and I want to wallow in self pity, but he'll no. I'm going to look at it and say GOOD. It's a chance for me to self examine and get better for another woman later on in life.
"Does the football coach go and show his playbook to the other team?" "Not, typically, no." God I love Echo's little comments sometimes. Great video, always valuable content
reminds me of the scene in gladiator when caesar makes fun of maximus' wife and kids in the arena, trying to get him to attack so he'll have reason to punish him
There is a difference between understanding your emotions, using others to help understand and deal with your emotions, and then just being a whiney volotile undisciplined cry baby. When jocko says "stifle your emotions", I think what he's saying is "don't identify with your emotions". Understand the difference between they guy who he experiences anger and recognizes that, and the guy who IS anger/angry, and cannot differentiate his anger from himself and is compelled by his emotion. Tail wags dog.
@@ezzy7151 I'm telling you, he wasn't arguing, if something that obvious is incomprehensible to your brain.He was articulating his understanding and wisdom, shared his insight so that people like me got helped to understand how to stifle emotions healthily. If he didn't put the time to share his insight, I and many others might have misinterpreted the healthy context and repress anger unhealthily.
Jocko I love you- you have changed my life. I never imagined I would be a healthy type or an exercising type. Keep spreading the positivity and love and help.
Just got my first big boy job after college. Since day 1 everyone training me has expressed a lot of emotional strife to me personally as I go through my day to day training. Everything you both have talked about in this video couldn't be more true. I can see how me keeping my mouth shut makes me look like a stronger employee and more capable to move up the corporate ladder because I'm positive and willing to handle any situation regardless of how I feel on the inside. Before I even saw this video I was telling myself "just keep your mouth shut and do the best job you can and learn all you can". Great advice man
Everyone needs to watch this. Way too many people have zero discipline over their emotions. Not only that, they weaponize them. Meaning they use their emotions to hurt others. Like road rage, verbally attacking people in public and stores, verbally attacking their family. So many unhinged people totally not in control of their emotions. And of course, uncontrolled emotions can lead to physical altercations and abuse as well.
I was taught my feelings were created by my thoughts. Change the energy. I'm angry, because I'm thinking this threatens me, scares me. Deal with that in my mind change the thought, change the energy. Now I'm not angry. Just what I was taught, works for me. LOL 99% of the time.
It's not really true though- more like the other way around. Emotions have existed much longer than thoughts in an evolutionary sense, but the rational mind can override emotions.
True, it is a very masculine talk. Refreshing. I am a woman but rather hear an uncomplicated talk. There, men have a huge advantage over us. To think in concepts, not feelings. The day a man gets too emotional, he looses attractive and becomes weak. It does not belong to the male mind setting.
@@p.b4287 Goddamn, lady, where do they make them like you? Hot AND smart! (If that's you in the picture that is) Truer words are rarely spoken. Godspeed
I'm not even a man and yet I resonate with it. Emotional outbursts just complicate things and I don't like dealing with that from myself or others. Instead, I find it more constructive to internally (or even externally, through hobbies or something useful) deal with the emotion, or refuse to feed it if it's petty or needlessly negative. It doesn't come naturally to everyone though, and therapy can definitely help.
In Japan where I live, 'stifling the emotions' in the sense Jocko is saying, is an expected norm of society, especially in more traditional areas. Westerns who are often unable to do that, are seen as immature and volatile.
Theres a disticnt difference between feeling your emotions and expressing your emotions. Its okay to listen to sad or angry music because you feel that emotion. Its not okay to lash out or subject other people to your sadness or anger.
There's a time and place to let your emotions out. Heart to heart talk, crying and letting it out with a best friend or mentor over coffee is good. In the workplace or talking to a complete stranger and letting out emotions is a sign of instability. Fire in a barbecue is awesome, fire all around your house...maybe not so good.
Shit that's bad news for professional musicians and artists, they express their emotions almost exclusively in the workplace to complete strangers and get paid for it lol
I think most of the people in the comments think they said that any expressiom of emotion is bad, which they did not, they said to not let the little things take over how you behave, but that holding in big issues is not good
I’m watching this because I have horrible problems with anger that have caused me to hurt people I love. I’m either calm or raging mad, no in between really. It sucks. As soon as something upsets me my heart starts racing and I start sweating profusely. I honestly don’t know why I’m like this. I’ve gotten slightly better over some time but I still blow up way more than I should. These videos have helped some so I’m grateful for that but I have a long way to go.
A year later, I hope you're well. I also struggle with something similar, but we can get through it. It's important to simply not give up. After all, it's only a habit of the mind. We can take back control of ourselves and win the war. Much love
ur emotions are just a temporary veil over ur eyes that come and go like thoughts. just leave them be, be aware of the emotional state ur in, and like they say. just keep it in💪🏻
I’m 41 and feel the same way . I almost allowed it to ruin my relationship then I really started listen to Jocko and working on the mental game and it’s amazing what some good knowledge and motivation does to one ! I first heard him JREpodcast and was fascinated with how much Joe Rogan respected and was moved by Jocko and was hooked from that point on . Thank you Jocko $ Echo
The thing is that your real self is not your weakest self. In any situation you have a lot of choices, and they're all you. If I decide to spend the days playing games or watching netflix, that's me. If I decide to work out as hard as I can, that's me. If I decide to watch these videos, that's me too. You don't need to be someone you're not to achieve what you want, just be your best self.
Jocko preaches gospel- Matthew 6:16-18 “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 17But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, 18that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
You can't bury it and you can't express it either. Those can't be the only options. The best bet is to accept things as they are at the same time as striving for what you want, but your behavior has to be fully disconnected from those emotions. You have to be vulnerable enough to be honest, and then be integral enough to be comfortable with honesty. Its hard work. You have to become who you actually want to be. You don't share your emotions with everyone, but in your relationships, communication and trust matter. Wake up every day and be who you want to be. Write a long list of things you want to accomplish and start checking them off. You don't have to hold in your emotions. Just don't share everything with everyone. Its the only way to take care of those we love, is if we take care of ourselves. That's a huge step. A lot of ppl are missing self-worth at the core. That's all the trouble is. Being a support to those who you love, who love you, is all the worth you'll ever need. Make the lives of those you love, better, any way you can, every day. That's what gives us self-worth. Notice the people who are in your daily life. Give them the most support. Those are your people. Being a part of something is where our worth comes from. If you don't have anyone, become dependable enough that you could take care of others. There are plenty of people who need to be taken care of, but not a lot of people are ready to take care of others. Be ready to take care of people you love and they will arrive.
The best philosophy to live by no doubt, but almost impossible to live by throughout life as you have to adapt to situations and environments that expect more of you than just being a stoic. Not to mention this "you should always be happy" delusion society puts on us.
Seneca wrote some great books on anger. The take home point is that anger should never be expressed or acted upon, because you will end up doing something stupid instead of what the rational mind dictates is the correct course of action.
@@lambd01d I've been studying that for a while now... Stoicism too.. It gives you mental and emotional stability... Once you master your emotions you become Unstoppable 🕊️
@@True38 me too. Only thing I disagree with stoicism is problem with "suffering". Christian philosophy, specially the Catholic one, deal with it in a better way.
that's why mentors are so important. someone who wants to pour into you is willing to hear about your problems. most of the time they will share their problems too! I have a few mentors, my closest one is a marine and he's so good at maintaining his emotions especially when I'm acting like an ass lol. I hope I'm half as good as my mentor when the mentoring baton comes my way.
“Suppress your emotions” is actually a very good piece of advice. Maybe a better word is “conquer”. “Submit”. Whatever. People hate to hear it, but it’s true. As Jocko said, the day to day things need to just be held down.
"Detach and Handle". These are the words I use to keep myself on point. Working around inmates, who want to get into your, and each others', faces is a challenge. When there's a physical confrontation that is possibly coming. I would get swept up into the emotion. I would feel that adrenaline and I would go. Then, after the fact, I would do a mental debrief and review the situation. I heard, and read, what Jocko had to say about "Detaching". So, I tried it. I would think, or actually say "detach" and my next thought would be "handle it". It's working. I'm stepping outside the emotion and seeing the whole situation...without the tunnel vision of adrenaline. Thanks Jocko. This ol' guy is benefiting.
Always learning, control starts internally and manifests itself outwards. Jocko and echo are great together! Thank you for your contribution to the world!
Jocko is a real, hardcore person of experience. He has a lot of great advice. Moreover, if you contrast Jocko with Peterson, their perspectives create an interesting point of view: always tell the truth, while playing to win. Your goal is NOT to tell the truth solely for truth's sake, but to EMBED the truth into the fiber of your being. For example, I've dealt with non-combat PTS trauma my entire adult life: nightmares, suicidal thoughts, sudden bouts of fight or flight in the face on invisible enemies, the whole nine yards. Recently I found a counselor who helped me cope with those feelings; cope with the activation of over 30 years of trauma, after suffering socio-economic fallout. For 7 months, I was in a shivering, freeze-like state while believing that a) my life was over, b) I was defined by the small sliver of "comfort" that I lost, and c) that I had suffered too much in life to recover. My fears had come true, and my reaction to those feelings turned many so called "friends" against me. They either cut me off, or tried to take advantage of my delirium. Today, I realize (with the help of a somatic therapist) it was the best thing to happen to me: it forced me to gain control of emotions, and how the trauma affects my judgement; it forced me to DO OR DIE, and refuse to WAIT for motivation to hit; it encouraged me to finally put away the video games, deny the craving for easy answers, and hit life as hard as physically possible, every single day, because life is too short to WAIT. Life is full of dips, falls, and set backs. But, once you accept that rather than letting the circumstance anger you, your confidence will raise mountains. Even so, when I'm having an off day, it's great to have access to the confidence that speakers like Jocko and Peterson help us regain. So, stop making excuses, listen to the gurus, and get LIFE done.
External events don't create strong emotions. It's the person's interpretation of the events. Of course if something catastrophic happens you will respond with strong emotions but to the degree in which you feel those is a choice.
In mental health circles, there is a big difference between letting out or repressing emotions (unhealthy) and processing emotions (healthy). Acknowledging your current emotional reality and then behaving in a responsible way anyway is the sweet spot for a fulfilling life.
If you let your anger out, even in the gym, just acts as a reward system for being angry. And you get angry more often. Better to realise that you're a human, that the feelings eating you up are just being made in your head. See where they come from and let it go and forget about it. Stifle your emotions !
Anger is a source of energy. Any negative emotion (jealousy, fear, regret) can be turned into anger and, through some simple primal alchemy, turned into a(n unlimited?) source of energy one can use for positive things. Build a birdhouse, work out, mow the lawn....it can all be done using the negative emotions you INITIALLY stifle and then CONSCIOUSLY/KNOWINGLY turn into anger-fuel. Getting angry or sad isnt weakness....letting it affect your behavior is. Stay quiet, straight faced, and out of jail....and then use it to power your positivity/productivity. Just gutting the negative emotion without dealing with it MIGHT be macho, but it will have you dead or in jail eventually.
If a clip from the podcast pops up on the algorithm I know it’s about to be a nugget of wisdom. I don’t even click on them if I can’t focus at the moment, I just save for later.
I needed to hear this, I gotta learn to control my emotions, I have to not let things bother me & fly off the handle, I let the enemy win being like that, putting my foot down now 🙏🏾
Not me listening to this as I was about to force myself to eat because I was starting to get dizzy. I'm just impressed Jocko can go 6 days without food and still train jiu-jitsu! Last time I went two days without eating and did 4 hours of kickboxing, I collapsed on the mat. Gotta train that weakness out 🤣 In all seriousness, though, I do feel more calm and in control when I keep my emotions in. When I used to go to therapy for PTSD, I had to constantly talk about both my big trauma stuff and my little daily stuff (because the big trauma impacted the little daily stuff), and it made me feel so out of control and emotionally messy. I know Jocko said to not hold in the big stuff, but I've noticed that when I talk -- in depth and actually feel the pain -- about the big stuff, that weakness lingers and lowers my ability to control the little stuff, especially if I'm already burned out at work and stressed. The 2s felt like they're 8s, and I was more likely to feel emotional in general, even when there was nothing in the immediate environment to cry about. Being able to actually identify and label emotions was HUGE in helping me control them (the small and big stuff, whether in public or private) because I felt like I understood them and it took their power away.
It's just how it works, I agree with Jocko. As a religious guy, I can say that Lent helped me out to control my own emotions, as a catholic I'm reminding myself how Christ didn't whine, that whining is actually a sin, being pathetic is sin, wrath, uncontrolable erratic behaviour, it's modern man's illness. Staying cool is manly, real men take control during the time of distress.
To me it's about CHANNELING your anger, not blocking it out! Your emotions are simply messages trying to tell you something. Blocking it out is only ignoring what your body is telling you. Your feelings hold the answers to what you want, why you want it, what you hate, preferences, taste, etc. To block it out is stupidity! Even Jordan Peterson said something about utilizing ONLY your positive emotions is a mistake in itself! Just because a feeling is destructive doesn't mean it doesn't contain benefits. IT DOES. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES. It's like forcing a lion to restrain his aggression because he's dangerous. Simply put, the lion doesn't belong there! He's a beast and belongs where beasts belong, in the wild! Don't fight your nature, embrace it, use it, BE IT. You'll feel more fulfilled and happier because you'll be living from your heart and operating from a place of WHAT YOU TRULY WANT. Not being nice or restraining the supposed "toxic" emotions because people are too whiny to handle it. Fuck them. Be yourself! Just don't kill someone in the process. It's about embracing your nature and expressing it coupled with a little common sense. Don't forget the human race are control freaks and they probably always will be. Don't let them dictate who you are and how you should feel. Follow your feelings. It holds the answers. This is wisdom that most people should use. Not this pretending "I don't hurt or feel angry" bullshit. Express yourself!
This was a great clip to hear. I have definitely "showed my cards" way too often in life and have had to learn that lesson. Being "real" is not more important than my own self growth and development and I must remain disciplined in those moments when I want to overshare a feeling or emotion. Thank for you yet another great lesson Jocko
Showing emotions and dealing with emotions is learning to who you can talk about this(family, best friend) and learning to keep calm is stressfull situations on work etc. Its not about stifeling but to be strong when needed and to be open when possible. Both are skills that can help in life.
I wish I had watched this before I lost my temper this morning and threw a tantrum over some dumb shit and scared the shit out of my wife, destroyed some furniture, kicked a hole in a door, and caused my blood pressure to go up, and ended up ashamed and self loathing. I need to watch this every morning to start my day.
Lol! 2:10 This whole RUclips channel is brilliant! I come everyday to see some of Jocko's new vid cus it's interesting, educational, and basically feels like you are part of conversation with awesome people you never had as a friends. That's really what people miss nowadays, great job!
When I don't feel safe for others I stay away so I can avoid hurting people. It happens to everyone just be aware of your emotional/ mental health day by day and deal with your particular situation.
I’ve never listened to podcast up until this point and I’m so glad I found Jocko! Thank you so much just for sharing your information and being dudes! Have a great day make it count!
Interesting points ! Also I feel like expressing your bad emotions for daily troubles kinda fuels them and is very contagious. Working in an environnement where everyone complain or let their emotions out for no valid reasons will break your mental little by little. Just the same as being around positive and emotionnaly stable people will make you feel good and help you go through your own bad moments way more easily :)
Need this help so badly! I’ve pushed people away (I think) because I finally blow up instead of trying to effectively communicate what it is that bothers me. I fall in love easily, I’m loyal, I cry for others and myself - I can’t expect the same from others and need to toughen up.
I agree that in many cases, mastering emotions is the right answer. But in some cases (as you said at the end), opening up and being vulnerable (with calmness) about how or what you are feeling is one of the deepest ways to connect with another human you trust.
In my almost 45-years of life, I’ve found that CONSISTENT emotional self-control is one of the most difficult things to master.
Agree
Don't worry, we are emotional beings after all and we all act irrationally often doing what is NOT in our best interest. Hell, we could all be rich if we really wanted to, it's just that don't take the necessary steps that are required.
This is assuming we are all exactly the same right? Probably a lot easier for some than others.
AMEN !
Here here. Thought it was just me.
''Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking'' - The Godfather
Yeah right!!!! Now days , they are the ones you tell last
lots of great lessons from Godfather.
#FactChecked: Accurate
I can’t even tell my family what I’m thinking due to political differences
And, be careful who you tell what you're thinking about in your family. Even blood can betray.
Discipline equals freedom
Good call.
Aakarsh Chaudhary
Sounds a bit too much like "arbeit macht frei" to me.
Daniel Brett Exactly, because it's the same idea. See the sick irony that the Nazis played was that you were going to work, but not be freed. But the statement is true outside of death camps. If you tend to do stuff, you get more chances to do what you want. If you tend to not do stuff, you'll hardly ever do anything you wish to do. At least that's how I figure it.
Thanks! I'm following the concept but I wouldn't adopt the mantra because peoples' minds will surely go where I've just pointed.
I’ve been learning about human emotions, human behavior, human psychology for almost three years. I’ve learned how important they are, and how they drive us, whether we realize it or not.
By no means am I a “manly man” or a muscular one at that. Yet, I actually AGREE with Jocko.
When it comes to the minor things, the 1’s and 2’s in life, if you’re constantly expressing your feelings about them, you’re basically admitting you can’t handle minor challenges in life. Being hungry is nothing. Having 20 emails to sort through is nothing. If you’re always venting, it shows he world you don’t know how to handle the stress and you don’t have the belief that you can resolve the issue.
Think about it- babies cry because they absolutely cannot help themselves. Little kids complain because they are typically powerless to change things, or they believe a broken cookie somehow ruins their day. These are minor things that an adult can instantly navigate...or at least, they should be able to.....
And to be clear, Jocko clarifies himself- MAJOR challenges should be expressed freely. Divorce? Death? Addictions? You can’t stuff those down. Many veterans try to, and sadly we have so many of them committing suicide because they don’t allow themselves to grieve and process the trauma.
It's been 6months since that comment but I feel like I had to hear this. Thank you :)
Thank you!
Preach ✊🏼
Paused the video to read. This is factual. People let themselves get flustered at the smallest hiccup.
This has always been one of my demons that I've battled with my whole life. Not being allowed or able to let out the 8.5's.
Controlling the 1's & 2's are no problem for me. But I've never really had a way to release the major 8.5's & larger.
Currently, I'm still trying to get over losing my now ex Fiancée. This is one of the 8.5 pluses on the Richter scale right now. But my circle of people I've got to talk to - they treat it like it's only a 1 or 2.
I'm trying to forget her. But man, that's not so simple. She wasn't just some girlfriend for a few weeks that you can just dust off and move on to the next flower. She was all I wanted. I was going to marry her.
I want to see maybe a councilor or something. But I have to be able to afford it first.
I just want the pain to stop.
Button your lip, hold your tongue. Better they think you're stupid then open your mouth and remove all doubt. Don't show your cards.
This is a great video for dealing with a narcissist. Watched it 4 times.
I've just come across this video and comment and I couldn't agree more, I'm currently going through my own changes to attract a better quality of life and people into it and it starts with this right here
A calm mind is the most powerful tool you have against your challenges
Level heads prevail
Take your Stumbling Blocks... Ànd turn them into stepping stones 😂
Don't let your emotions spill out on others, process them in a healthy way in your mind. Figure it out, pick it apart, beat it, move on...
That's what the mentally strong are able to do, my brother! Some people can't combat that in their minds, unfortunately.
How do you guys process them?
@@michaeldavidmontalvo2402 instead of lashing out or complaining verbally. Think why I'm mad.
I love this
That's a skill!
The irony: an Iraqi guy: me watching an American man: him in a world where our nation's were at war this video brings us together - knowledge knows no race - God bless America - God bless Iraq - God bless the world - ooh raah
Mike Anderson 2002 Apparently you haven’t been listening to these guys either. Multiple times over they would denounce what you just did here to this guy. He expressed a positive vibe and something uniting. You did nothing but come out and act like the typical surly atheist that can’t control his emotional outbursts.
Mike Anderson such a dick thing to say
@@wiskeymagic kinda true though. Organized religion is the opium of the masses.
Don Z lmao what a idiot you made yourself to be. Religion is the cause of the most wars? Care to explain and provide more evidence? And just to put the cherry on top. You degrade religion basically say it’s bull crap. Then go on to say your not atheist. Even though earlier you said we don’t have answers to life and no knowledge on that etc. That’s basically what an atheist is. It’s literally someone who doesn’t believe. And thinks that a deity figure is unknowable. You dunce
We were never at war with the Iraqi people,
. We were at war with Saddam and his government.
It's not about keeping your emotions in.
It's that there is a time and place for everything.
And that time isn't right now, and that place isn't in public.
Crying is actually good for you- tears contain high concentrations of stress hormones. When you cry, the stress hormones are released and you feel better because they've left your body, but save crying for when you're on your own or with people you trust not to judge you for it or use it against you. If you're feeling sad, you're feeling sad. It doesn't help you get things done if you turn into a blubbering wreck every 5 minutes.
Public is the best place to whoop some randoms arse. Just kiddin
Stifle the spontaneous emotions. I always think "Will this be a problem in a weeks time" - no doubt it will be forgotten about.
GoWithTheFlow putting the immediate issue in the light of a weeks time passed is fucking genius! Thank you.
If it's not gonna matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it.
Love this so much i wrote it down
Don’t repress emotions, control them. Repressing is running away from the problem, controlling them is addressing it. You control them by realizing if these feelings are justified or not for the current situation. Challenge your emotions, hold them up to objective reality and draw the conclusion as to whether or not they make any sort of logical sense.
Very nice
Accept your feelings. Don't act on them unconciously, don't push them down, just think about them unbiasedly and decide how best to act.
Love it!
Exactly, name them, recognize them, don't suppress them but don't dwell on them.
Jocko has some psychic power to understand, what i am going through. About a week ago it was how to get over a breakup now controlling emotions. Exactly what i need!
can you link the breakup one?
DGK201 bro I love hearing people think the same as I do!
me too, I was becoming an alcoholic , I'm sober exercising and eating healthy.
Hang in there brother.Your a better man.
I'm going thru a breakup too and it sucks. she's gone and I want to wallow in self pity, but he'll no. I'm going to look at it and say GOOD. It's a chance for me to self examine and get better for another woman later on in life.
"Does the football coach go and show his playbook to the other team?"
"Not, typically, no."
God I love Echo's little comments sometimes.
Great video, always valuable content
Mark Martinez haha Echo just fades out with it🤣
Holy shit Jocko laughs he is human I knew it.
Daniel Kurd No it's his Terminator coding. It's very advanced and tells him when to laugh.
Daniel Kurd
Lmao
"I know now why you laugh."
He just wants to win. "Laughter Wins."
2:46 hahahaha bruhhhh
“Separate your feelings form your behavior” I needed this today!! Thanks Echo!!!🙏
I think I had a feeling once, that shit was weird.
As a fellow Garrett - I endorse this sentiment with the utmost sincerity.
I hurt my favorite pickle's feelings the other day. His name is Garrett, are you that pickle??
Lmao 😂
Lmao 😂
@@garretshook3911 low-key most guys named Garret are like that haha
My philosophy and what I teach my kids...
Control your emotions, don’t let your emotions control you.
jjonathan360 Use it like fire
reminds me of the scene in gladiator when caesar makes fun of maximus' wife and kids in the arena, trying to get him to attack so he'll have reason to punish him
Buddhists say to NOT let your anger out - keep it in and learn how to work with it
There is a difference between understanding your emotions, using others to help understand and deal with your emotions, and then just being a whiney volotile undisciplined cry baby. When jocko says "stifle your emotions", I think what he's saying is "don't identify with your emotions". Understand the difference between they guy who he experiences anger and recognizes that, and the guy who IS anger/angry, and cannot differentiate his anger from himself and is compelled by his emotion. Tail wags dog.
@@kaufmanat1 who are you arguing with?
@@ezzy7151 u being serious? I was providing my perspective. Spend less time reading RUclips comments. Not everything is an argument.
@@kaufmanat1 ,you're so on point and i support you 100%. Ignore the trash.
@@ezzy7151 I'm telling you, he wasn't arguing, if something that obvious is incomprehensible to your brain.He was articulating his understanding and wisdom, shared his insight so that people like me got helped to understand how to stifle emotions healthily. If he didn't put the time to share his insight, I and many others might have misinterpreted the healthy context and repress anger unhealthily.
“I’m doing jiu-jitsu, what are you doing?...sitting there and being weak...” -Jocko Willink 🤣🤣🤣
Jocko I love you- you have changed my life. I never imagined I would be a healthy type or an exercising type. Keep spreading the positivity and love and help.
Keep grinding
Just got my first big boy job after college. Since day 1 everyone training me has expressed a lot of emotional strife to me personally as I go through my day to day training. Everything you both have talked about in this video couldn't be more true. I can see how me keeping my mouth shut makes me look like a stronger employee and more capable to move up the corporate ladder because I'm positive and willing to handle any situation regardless of how I feel on the inside. Before I even saw this video I was telling myself "just keep your mouth shut and do the best job you can and learn all you can". Great advice man
Proverbs 29:11 AMPC
A [self-confident] fool utters all his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it.
Aaron Wilson that’s good stuff
ruclips.net/p/PL1ZC-1HJaptzXBxloxlH1soq855cHOUnc
Amen!
Everyone needs to watch this. Way too many people have zero discipline over their emotions. Not only that, they weaponize them. Meaning they use their emotions to hurt others. Like road rage, verbally attacking people in public and stores, verbally attacking their family. So many unhinged people totally not in control of their emotions. And of course, uncontrolled emotions can lead to physical altercations and abuse as well.
I was taught my feelings were created by my thoughts.
Change the energy.
I'm angry, because I'm thinking this threatens me, scares me. Deal with that in my mind change the thought, change the energy. Now I'm not angry. Just what I was taught, works for me.
LOL 99% of the time.
Trying this one
I needed to see this. Can you elaborate a little bit more please?!
Same here.. works 100% for me . That technique helped me get sober. I was an addict for 15 years. Now sober for 2
It's not really true though- more like the other way around. Emotions have existed much longer than thoughts in an evolutionary sense, but the rational mind can override emotions.
fr
Real testosterone vibes right here. I feel good watching this.
True, it is a very masculine talk. Refreshing. I am a woman but rather hear an uncomplicated talk. There, men have a huge advantage over us. To think in concepts, not feelings. The day a man gets too emotional, he looses attractive and becomes weak. It does not belong to the male mind setting.
@@p.b4287 Goddamn, lady, where do they make them like you? Hot AND smart! (If that's you in the picture that is)
Truer words are rarely spoken. Godspeed
@@Catholic-Redpilled-Spaniard oh boy...............
I'm not even a man and yet I resonate with it. Emotional outbursts just complicate things and I don't like dealing with that from myself or others. Instead, I find it more constructive to internally (or even externally, through hobbies or something useful) deal with the emotion, or refuse to feed it if it's petty or needlessly negative. It doesn't come naturally to everyone though, and therapy can definitely help.
@@p.b4287 I wish I could find a woman with your mindset
In Japan where I live, 'stifling the emotions' in the sense Jocko is saying, is an expected norm of society, especially in more traditional areas. Westerns who are often unable to do that, are seen as immature and volatile.
That is because us Americans are suffering from a narcissism epidemic.
veilofreality yet both in the western world and japan suicide is huge
One has to be able to work out those emotions. But of course releasing your crap into other people is not the correctly.
Yeah and why Japan has an extremely high suicide rate.
And if you can control your emotions you are considered a freak....people are too fucking stupid and they allways wine and cry...
I feel its appropriate to say "conceal don't feel, don't let them know"
the past is in the PAAAASSSTTTT
Theres a disticnt difference between feeling your emotions and expressing your emotions. Its okay to listen to sad or angry music because you feel that emotion. Its not okay to lash out or subject other people to your sadness or anger.
There's a time and place to let your emotions out. Heart to heart talk, crying and letting it out with a best friend or mentor over coffee is good. In the workplace or talking to a complete stranger and letting out emotions is a sign of instability.
Fire in a barbecue is awesome, fire all around your house...maybe not so good.
Good comment
“Fire in a barbecue” Nice quote.
Shit that's bad news for professional musicians and artists, they express their emotions almost exclusively in the workplace to complete strangers and get paid for it lol
Keep your emotions to you.
Fire in a barbecue is awesome , fire all around your house...maybe not so good bruh that comment is firr
H = hungry
A = angry
L = lonely
T = tired
I think most of the people in the comments think they said that any expressiom of emotion is bad, which they did not, they said to not let the little things take over how you behave, but that holding in big issues is not good
Exactly. I think a lot of people misunderstood.
Everyone comments on Jocko, but Echo is a very intelligent man...shout out to you both!! Helped me realize my potential.
These videos help you understand every military service member in your family. Jocko just makes it all make sense
I’m watching this because I have horrible problems with anger that have caused me to hurt people I love. I’m either calm or raging mad, no in between really. It sucks. As soon as something upsets me my heart starts racing and I start sweating profusely. I honestly don’t know why I’m like this. I’ve gotten slightly better over some time but I still blow up way more than I should. These videos have helped some so I’m grateful for that but I have a long way to go.
A year later, I hope you're well.
I also struggle with something similar, but we can get through it. It's important to simply not give up. After all, it's only a habit of the mind. We can take back control of ourselves and win the war.
Much love
Emotions are signals. Let them guide you instead of letting them control you. Thanks for all your amazing input Jocko!
ur emotions are just a temporary veil over ur eyes that come and go like thoughts. just leave them be, be aware of the emotional state ur in, and like they say. just keep it in💪🏻
Hearing this three years ago has been some of the best advice I have gotten to date, Its made me a better dude and I thank these two for that.
Reacting vs. Responding vs. Evaluating internally
I’m 41 and feel the same way . I almost allowed it to ruin my relationship then I really started listen to Jocko and working on the mental game and it’s amazing what some good knowledge and motivation does to one !
I first heard him JREpodcast and was fascinated with how much Joe Rogan respected and was moved by Jocko and was hooked from that point on .
Thank you Jocko $ Echo
The quote I like is from Nero Wolfe: Treat emotions like desserts, freeze them and keep them in your belly.
The thing is that your real self is not your weakest self. In any situation you have a lot of choices, and they're all you. If I decide to spend the days playing games or watching netflix, that's me. If I decide to work out as hard as I can, that's me. If I decide to watch these videos, that's me too. You don't need to be someone you're not to achieve what you want, just be your best self.
Jocko preaches gospel-
Matthew 6:16-18 “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 17But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, 18that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
Justin Schierkolk Thank you for reminding me how powerful the Bible’s text can be.
Father who sees in secret
Yikes
Amen
You can't bury it and you can't express it either. Those can't be the only options. The best bet is to accept things as they are at the same time as striving for what you want, but your behavior has to be fully disconnected from those emotions. You have to be vulnerable enough to be honest, and then be integral enough to be comfortable with honesty. Its hard work. You have to become who you actually want to be. You don't share your emotions with everyone, but in your relationships, communication and trust matter. Wake up every day and be who you want to be. Write a long list of things you want to accomplish and start checking them off. You don't have to hold in your emotions. Just don't share everything with everyone. Its the only way to take care of those we love, is if we take care of ourselves. That's a huge step. A lot of ppl are missing self-worth at the core. That's all the trouble is. Being a support to those who you love, who love you, is all the worth you'll ever need. Make the lives of those you love, better, any way you can, every day. That's what gives us self-worth. Notice the people who are in your daily life. Give them the most support. Those are your people. Being a part of something is where our worth comes from. If you don't have anyone, become dependable enough that you could take care of others. There are plenty of people who need to be taken care of, but not a lot of people are ready to take care of others. Be ready to take care of people you love and they will arrive.
Stoicism!
Yup...act on your principles, not your emotions.
The best philosophy to live by no doubt, but almost impossible to live by throughout life as you have to adapt to situations and environments that expect more of you than just being a stoic. Not to mention this "you should always be happy" delusion society puts on us.
Seneca wrote some great books on anger. The take home point is that anger should never be expressed or acted upon, because you will end up doing something stupid instead of what the rational mind dictates is the correct course of action.
@@lambd01d I've been studying that for a while now... Stoicism too.. It gives you mental and emotional stability... Once you master your emotions you become Unstoppable 🕊️
@@True38 me too. Only thing I disagree with stoicism is problem with "suffering". Christian philosophy, specially the Catholic one, deal with it in a better way.
What he means is, process your emotions correctly on the inside, and they'll go away without having to be let out
that's why mentors are so important. someone who wants to pour into you is willing to hear about your problems. most of the time they will share their problems too! I have a few mentors, my closest one is a marine and he's so good at maintaining his emotions especially when I'm acting like an ass lol. I hope I'm half as good as my mentor when the mentoring baton comes my way.
“Suppress your emotions” is actually a very good piece of advice. Maybe a better word is “conquer”. “Submit”. Whatever. People hate to hear it, but it’s true. As Jocko said, the day to day things need to just be held down.
I had to watch this before my shift, I was losing my shit
"Detach and Handle". These are the words I use to keep myself on point. Working around inmates, who want to get into your, and each others', faces is a challenge. When there's a physical confrontation that is possibly coming. I would get swept up into the emotion. I would feel that adrenaline and I would go. Then, after the fact, I would do a mental debrief and review the situation. I heard, and read, what Jocko had to say about "Detaching". So, I tried it. I would think, or actually say "detach" and my next thought would be "handle it". It's working. I'm stepping outside the emotion and seeing the whole situation...without the tunnel vision of adrenaline. Thanks Jocko. This ol' guy is benefiting.
it’s not so much of stifling your emotions, it’s not letting your emotions affect how you treat other people
Always learning, control starts internally and manifests itself outwards. Jocko and echo are great together! Thank you for your contribution to the world!
echo charles arms are bigger than my fking leg hahah, big sob he is, lots of wisdom from these guys
Thanks for this unisex channel its not one of these bashing women channels it for men and women I've enjoyed a couple of videos so far👂
Mid work out bursting out laughing in the gym every time jocks says “stifle your emotions”
Jocko is a real, hardcore person of experience. He has a lot of great advice. Moreover, if you contrast Jocko with Peterson, their perspectives create an interesting point of view: always tell the truth, while playing to win.
Your goal is NOT to tell the truth solely for truth's sake, but to EMBED the truth into the fiber of your being.
For example, I've dealt with non-combat PTS trauma my entire adult life: nightmares, suicidal thoughts, sudden bouts of fight or flight in the face on invisible enemies, the whole nine yards. Recently I found a counselor who helped me cope with those feelings; cope with the activation of over 30 years of trauma, after suffering socio-economic fallout. For 7 months, I was in a shivering, freeze-like state while believing that a) my life was over, b) I was defined by the small sliver of "comfort" that I lost, and c) that I had suffered too much in life to recover. My fears had come true, and my reaction to those feelings turned many so called "friends" against me. They either cut me off, or tried to take advantage of my delirium.
Today, I realize (with the help of a somatic therapist) it was the best thing to happen to me: it forced me to gain control of emotions, and how the trauma affects my judgement; it forced me to DO OR DIE, and refuse to WAIT for motivation to hit; it encouraged me to finally put away the video games, deny the craving for easy answers, and hit life as hard as physically possible, every single day, because life is too short to WAIT.
Life is full of dips, falls, and set backs. But, once you accept that rather than letting the circumstance anger you, your confidence will raise mountains.
Even so, when I'm having an off day, it's great to have access to the confidence that speakers like Jocko and Peterson help us regain. So, stop making excuses, listen to the gurus, and get LIFE done.
I'm gonna go train ju jitsu. What are you doing? Sitting down and being weak?
Lmao!
shut your fookin mout
God this triggered me and I don’t even train jiu jitsu
@@lundquistrealestate8113 good, start training ju jitsu
Yes, currently.
@@enniemeanieminnie thinkin about training jiu jitsu too.
"My daughter cut weight for wrestling..." Ahahahahaha even his daughters are total badasses and are probably more manly than most! XD
If someone has a daughter and they aren't a wrestler or judoka, that person is abusing their daughter and serving her up to wolves.
I was just thinking the same. Peak Jocko right there.
Talking about another man's manliness is hella ghey
ihateoregonians make sure to teach them how to shoot times are changing in our schools 😏
Why does being tough have to be manly, it sounds like they are strong women.
External events don't create strong emotions. It's the person's interpretation of the events. Of course if something catastrophic happens you will respond with strong emotions but to the degree in which you feel those is a choice.
Jocko should have an entire episode (or most of it) dedicated to emotional control.
In mental health circles, there is a big difference between letting out or repressing emotions (unhealthy) and processing emotions (healthy). Acknowledging your current emotional reality and then behaving in a responsible way anyway is the sweet spot for a fulfilling life.
“Stifle your emotions” words to live by
If you let your anger out, even in the gym, just acts as a reward system for being angry. And you get angry more often. Better to realise that you're a human, that the feelings eating you up are just being made in your head. See where they come from and let it go and forget about it. Stifle your emotions !
Sam Smith that's a really interesting observation!
Anger is a source of energy. Any negative emotion (jealousy, fear, regret) can be turned into anger and, through some simple primal alchemy, turned into a(n unlimited?) source of energy one can use for positive things. Build a birdhouse, work out, mow the lawn....it can all be done using the negative emotions you INITIALLY stifle and then CONSCIOUSLY/KNOWINGLY turn into anger-fuel. Getting angry or sad isnt weakness....letting it affect your behavior is. Stay quiet, straight faced, and out of jail....and then use it to power your positivity/productivity. Just gutting the negative emotion without dealing with it MIGHT be macho, but it will have you dead or in jail eventually.
Sam Smith read Osho - Emotions
its amazing! 👍
Big up for this comment! Thanks for the insight!!
I really liked this comment! =)
You let your tears out at HOME, and in the SHOWER.
Can we just get a clip of Jocko saying "Stifle. Your emotions. Inside." I will hear this in my head from now on anytime I'm about to react haha
@Quantum Entanglement. Hahahaha same here, perfect timing
Dude, echo’s arms are motivation.
If a clip from the podcast pops up on the algorithm I know it’s about to be a nugget of wisdom. I don’t even click on them if I can’t focus at the moment, I just save for later.
Man, have to recognize the golden nuggets and put them to use. Thanks Jocko and Echo for sharing these gems
I needed to hear this, I gotta learn to control my emotions, I have to not let things bother me & fly off the handle, I let the enemy win being like that, putting my foot down now 🙏🏾
Yes🙌🏻🙏🏻
Dealing with emotions doesnt have to mean expressing them. Do it safely and appropriately. Time and place for everything. Great clip
Not me listening to this as I was about to force myself to eat because I was starting to get dizzy. I'm just impressed Jocko can go 6 days without food and still train jiu-jitsu! Last time I went two days without eating and did 4 hours of kickboxing, I collapsed on the mat. Gotta train that weakness out 🤣
In all seriousness, though, I do feel more calm and in control when I keep my emotions in. When I used to go to therapy for PTSD, I had to constantly talk about both my big trauma stuff and my little daily stuff (because the big trauma impacted the little daily stuff), and it made me feel so out of control and emotionally messy.
I know Jocko said to not hold in the big stuff, but I've noticed that when I talk -- in depth and actually feel the pain -- about the big stuff, that weakness lingers and lowers my ability to control the little stuff, especially if I'm already burned out at work and stressed. The 2s felt like they're 8s, and I was more likely to feel emotional in general, even when there was nothing in the immediate environment to cry about.
Being able to actually identify and label emotions was HUGE in helping me control them (the small and big stuff, whether in public or private) because I felt like I understood them and it took their power away.
I've done a few days and ran a 5k terrain then still didn't eat until the following day. So 4 days. Weird
“Separate feelings from behavior” Love that esp coming from very emotional/“feely” person
It's one thing to be emotionally detached, and quite another to conceal emotion.
Thank you for this one. I needed to hear the analogy of cards with emotions. Do not show the emotions or you don’t have the power. Thanks again.
It's just how it works, I agree with Jocko.
As a religious guy, I can say that Lent helped me out to control my own emotions, as a catholic I'm reminding myself how Christ didn't whine, that whining is actually a sin, being pathetic is sin, wrath, uncontrolable erratic behaviour, it's modern man's illness. Staying cool is manly, real men take control during the time of distress.
To me it's about CHANNELING your anger, not blocking it out! Your emotions are simply messages trying to tell you something. Blocking it out is only ignoring what your body is telling you. Your feelings hold the answers to what you want, why you want it, what you hate, preferences, taste, etc. To block it out is stupidity!
Even Jordan Peterson said something about utilizing ONLY your positive emotions is a mistake in itself! Just because a feeling is destructive doesn't mean it doesn't contain benefits. IT DOES. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES. It's like forcing a lion to restrain his aggression because he's dangerous. Simply put, the lion doesn't belong there! He's a beast and belongs where beasts belong, in the wild!
Don't fight your nature, embrace it, use it, BE IT. You'll feel more fulfilled and happier because you'll be living from your heart and operating from a place of WHAT YOU TRULY WANT. Not being nice or restraining the supposed "toxic" emotions because people are too whiny to handle it. Fuck them. Be yourself! Just don't kill someone in the process. It's about embracing your nature and expressing it coupled with a little common sense.
Don't forget the human race are control freaks and they probably always will be. Don't let them dictate who you are and how you should feel. Follow your feelings. It holds the answers. This is wisdom that most people should use. Not this pretending "I don't hurt or feel angry" bullshit. Express yourself!
Swig Swag Air headed dipshit spotted!
I actually WANT these guys to give lectures everywhere
This was a great clip to hear. I have definitely "showed my cards" way too often in life and have had to learn that lesson. Being "real" is not more important than my own self growth and development and I must remain disciplined in those moments when I want to overshare a feeling or emotion. Thank for you yet another great lesson Jocko
Jocks and Echocharles get it. They just get it. Rock n roll guys, keep up the wickedly good content.
This is what I love about Jocko. I open the video and I get the answer in the first minute
Showing emotions and dealing with emotions is learning to who you can talk about this(family, best friend) and learning to keep calm is stressfull situations on work etc. Its not about stifeling but to be strong when needed and to be open when possible. Both are skills that can help in life.
Good evening, Echo. "Be like that on the inside, be #GOOD on the outside.". Perfect.
I wish I had watched this before I lost my temper this morning and threw a tantrum over some dumb shit and scared the shit out of my wife, destroyed some furniture, kicked a hole in a door, and caused my blood pressure to go up, and ended up ashamed and self loathing. I need to watch this every morning to start my day.
Now , I know people can live without eating 30 days. Thank you Jocko. You're the beast!
Lol! 2:10
This whole RUclips channel is brilliant! I come everyday to see some of Jocko's new vid cus it's interesting, educational, and basically feels like you are part of conversation with awesome people you never had as a friends.
That's really what people miss nowadays, great job!
Separate your feelings from behavior.. That's controlling your emotions
Emotional control is the key to the extreme success.
Emotional ppl give up easily.
Just finished Extreme Ownership, and I love Jocko even more now haha. Awesome dude.
When I don't feel safe for others I stay away so I can avoid hurting people. It happens to everyone just be aware of your emotional/ mental health day by day and deal with your particular situation.
I got a feeling there was a big request for this clip for everyone's wife and gf
I’ve never listened to podcast up until this point and I’m so glad I found Jocko! Thank you so much just for sharing your information and being dudes! Have a great day make it count!
Nah I've known Echo for about 16 years. He's just a freak of nature and constantly trains and stays active.
Depression is not an emotion that’s when you talk to someone, hope everyone is happy if not finds their happiness
STIFLE YOU'RE EMOTIONS😈 I will hear jocko saying that to me now every time I start feeling a little pissy lol
I hear it in his growl in my head when I'm at work and it makes me smirk to myself!
Lolz!
That's and also " *BACK IN THE DAY!* "
Hahaha!
😂😂😂😂
Jocko is the big brother I never had.
I love the dynamic these two have. The greatest friendship ever
I know this is a little old but WOW... this just open my eyes like crazy.
Interesting points ! Also I feel like expressing your bad emotions for daily troubles kinda fuels them and is very contagious. Working in an environnement where everyone complain or let their emotions out for no valid reasons will break your mental little by little. Just the same as being around positive and emotionnaly stable people will make you feel good and help you go through your own bad moments way more easily :)
Need this help so badly! I’ve pushed people away (I think) because I finally blow up instead of trying to effectively communicate what it is that bothers me. I fall in love easily, I’m loyal, I cry for others and myself - I can’t expect the same from others and need to toughen up.
I agree that in many cases, mastering emotions is the right answer. But in some cases (as you said at the end), opening up and being vulnerable (with calmness) about how or what you are feeling is one of the deepest ways to connect with another human you trust.