another way of describing this is: "the way to beat an ultra-competitive person, is to help them win. For those types, the win was never the goal, they need to feel it is them vs the other. If you help them win, you win, but they lose, because the win was not theirs."
Hmm- did similar, other guy just took and took, goal posts kept moving, the more I subordinated the more lines he would cross. I think I subordinated my ego to the point there was no “me” left.
I think if Jocko Willink does or says anything, just about everyone is going to listen because he looks like a serial killer. For the rest of us, it probably doesn't come across the same to other people and different tactics have to be used
I think subordinating the ego is the first step in a longer process. I think what Jocko means is subordinate your ego so that you can deploy your bigger goal. Subordinating your ego just for the sake of itself is not the goal. In your case, it would subordinating your ego to gain trust from that guy, and then using that trust and rapport to get him to listen to your ideas or what ever you wanted from him in the first place. Now that you've earned his trust, you can tactfully show him that his negative attitude will lose him a person (you) who is valuable to him now. Depending on the situation, if he still takes and takes despite letting him know your boundaries, then cut ties with him and he will feel the pain of the loss, if he's not a psychopath. It's not a full proof plan but its one of the tenants in the art of war that put the odds of success in your favor.
@@rawcorporation thank you for expalining, im in the sitch rn about that. I went that exact route without knowing it. I have to leave a company due to psychopathic tendencies on their end. Its been very stressing and taxing on me.
As someone that grew up with a few inflated egos, I always liked the phrase "Winners move minds in silence" Letting others wear themselves out, riding positive waves, nudging towards personal goals, (generally) not being confrontational. There will be room for ego in nearly any situation, it just needs to be placed well.
Not sure I remember the quote correctly but I say like harry truman(in my head): it's amazing what you can accomplish as long as you don't care who gets the credit.
....or the huge bonus ($$$)? Yeah, that "never" happens. (Boss takes all the credit, year after year and his bosses are completely unaware, or worse, they know about and encourage the backstabbing of those under him.) At that point, move on.
Yeah the problem in companies is that the loud person who "gets the credit" stays, while the good one are thanked away because they seem useless. Then the company sinks for "mysterious reasons".
I listened to a couple of monks give their perspective on ego. I would say that was a couple years ago now. Almost every single problem that we run into ultimately comes down to Ego. The problems we create in the problems we run into always fall back to an ego. Being able to manage it definitely make your life a lot easier and helps you see things for what they really are. You don’t have to be a monk to realize this and you don’t have to see combat you don’t even have to be a navy seal. Jaco puts out tremendous advice so do the monks. EGO!! controlling that ego will minimize your suffering
My current boss (not a leader) has a huge ego. I have always been humble and work with humility. I still do my best to work with him and not let my ego flare up.
having listened to Mr. Jocko, and the best could say was 1. be the voice of sanity, leadership, or service, and let that be the voice, or standard to all, and should be enough 2. battling someone with a grand ego, or false sense of self takes therapy, or almost a team to subdue the worst, and there are calculated risks, worth, or perhaps a future friend, or therapy relation 3. be tough, or set down the law, yell, or let them know you have power, or to decide, and that it's better a good man shames, or mocks the arrogant, or troubled, or that they decide, chaos, or their betrayals 4. don't be afraid to take care of yourself, or realize when either pride, madness, or exploitation has taken a bite of you, or could lead to trauma, note that, and decide to not be a victim more than necessary, to stand your ground when needed, or that sometimes the good fight, or to tremble the demons is to your own people, or their folly, or disgrace J. Brooks, from a danish health family, and that the cross is more important than the rights of sinners, the deluded, or evil
This is so true. Thank you, gentlemen. I am dealing with this right now with work, and I am constantly finding myself putting myself in check. It is not the easiest thing to do, however it is the correct thing to do.
Yeah the problem is eventually you have to either be the boss or find a better one to work for. Following the chain of command only works if the chain is competent.
Awesome talk and topic, can relate very much to this. Most of us would fear that by "subordinating our egos" we are letting the other person complete control over us, and that we loose our own individuality, and letting someone trample or take advantage of us. I wish you had elaborated more on this issue to make it clear that this is not the case. I think we need to stress that while we're subordinating our egos, we're not altogether abandoning our own control and letting ourselves being taken advantage of. It's a tricky situation that takes practice.
Great points! One thing that this also does is by you lowering your ego, it can also lower theirs. Often egotistical people will not hear your point of view until they are heard.
This seems to be a first step. But what happens when the egotist keeps pushing a plan that is unworkable, & won't back down and listen to reason? One thing I've found in the corporate world is that whoever speaks the loudest and most confidently gets listened to, regardless of the merit of anyone's position. The people who call the shots don't want to deal with refereeing disagreements, and don't want to argue with the confrontational loudmouth. I recently saw a landscape company go out of business because one belligerant guy insisted everyone do shoddy work, enjoyed telling everyone else what to do, and the owner of the company was too intimidated to deal with him. The good employees left the company, started their own businesses, taking many customers with them.
Thanks again, Jocko and team for putting these videos out. I would love for you to release something on how to navigate DEIA in the workplace. Example, a head down hard worker constantly subjected to DEIA trainings, culture, and it shaping people's ability to get work done/ make promotions. As a middle aged hard working respectful white male, I feel like the target. Something I've never felt in the workplace. Thanks!
Work hard. Build relationships. Achieve your goals and exceed standards. When you put the overall team and the mission first you will create opportunities
Your awesome! Thank you for serving our wonderful nation. But I'm just gonna tell you you're from New England and there are more level headed people there. God bless Jocko.
Mr. Jocko said it best, to deflate an ego you have to catch them off guard, or show them the way . . here's what have to say, bit on angry side HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH SOMEONE A GIANT EGO, BLOATED CONFIDENCE, OR SICK PRIDE 1. realize they're corrupt, or dangerous to themselves, to others, or what they want, prioritize 2. you can try and be therapist, supporter to the damaged perspective, folly, or then damage control, or also to make sure there are fewer cultural, or personal consequences near vicinity // arrogance, or egotism tend to be personality for most adults, and therapy could take years 3. see to your own needs, or survival, and realize no one is more important than another, add that getting traumatized, exploited, or bullied isn't the way to improve, add to own character 4. realize the either parents, or perhaps the system has failed this person, you have to accept 5. arrogance, pettiness, or psychopathy tend to correlate, and the damage such people take to a group, or family can be severe, or lasting, or also what one doesn't know, to realize later 6. arrogance, egotism, and ignorance tends to be almost hereditary, take care of yourself, or realize it's a poison, or ' demon ' to your own self, health, or how you perceive the world, self 7. you tend to be alone, or those that abuse power, rank, folly, or past to mock, or antagonize are usually good at getting away with that, or schemers, add traitors, difficult to stop, correct 8. they fight against an errant ego, or bloated self - portrayal, or - corruption is both of these, or the psyche, one could say it's a ' demon ', also a tarnish to culture, or rights, and to jail, etc 9. women, frail, or children tend to be victims, or easily seduced, or overwhelmed, to be care 10. to psychiatrists ' arrogance ' is a blend of culture, neglect to youth, ' personality ', and Hell 11. pick your battles, or look for a team to defeat an egotist, or that it requires help from gov 12. the arrogant, haughty, self - entitled, or corrupt to power also have rights, however to law
I subconsciously did this, and i also think people should be respected for their ideas and we should be open to learn. like he says in the mid section - it's important that you keep your inner strength, or it can backfire if you need to change roles upwards to negotiate with some elbow/strongly narcissistic persons and don't bring a marine's backbone :-( they're gonna get used to you being humble and over time start pushing you down. brrr. with others being humble can foster be a life-long fruitful interaction.
Made me think of the way I have heard ex secret service talk about ego/self focus vs team/task focus and how we should check ourselves to not get into self mode and lose focus of the task
I could see this technique being effective at work or on a team, or some other situation where the hierarchy is clear, but I'm not sure how it works around the table with family.
When dealing with someone with an overly inflated ego, make sure you choose your battles and deal with situations with logic, especially when going against their word. Definitely don’t belittle yourself to their level or lose professionalism doing it. But if you can back up your decisions with strong logic and justification, it usually makes it difficult to argue. If worse comes to worse, you might have to leave the environment they are in, usually in a work sense, but let HR know it’s because of the poor attitude that person has.
Sometimes it is wise to listen to the dude that has experience. It’s actually the dudes that have little or no experience that talk out of turn that have the ego.
Jocko retired Seal Eric Deming was on antihero podcast he pretty much said you had a big ego and he said how stupid you were sending guys out during the day instead of night and he also run chris kyle in the ground saying several bad things about him even said he was a wife beater. Why even get on that podcast and say anything like that about Chris he's not here to back himself that Eric dude had no reason to say that and he really run marcus down said he didn't shoot one time he turned and ran down the mountain as soon as the fight started and left his guys up there fighting alone. He said everything marcus said was a lie and the guys on anti hero Brett agreed with him. I hope and pray you say something on here or to his face for running you guys down on that podcast. Please say something to him and I would love for you to mention it on her since he thought it was right to air his thoughts of you guys on the antihero podcast which I'll never watch again. I watch you and Marcus and tried that guys podcast and knew instantly I didn't like it . I told him let's hear some stories about his guys that screwed up but pretty sure he's not gonna bring anything up about them.
It’s very simple……..taught to me by the military also………especially when there’s their ego involved. Have the solutions prior to the problems . It’s not 100%, 100% of the time. It’s tough to foresee any problems, but as we were taught with a lot of situations, we practiced all situations until we couldn’t get it wrong, not until we got it right.
Who is this guy? He is so humble, wise and simple - simplicity that hints at great inner complexity and great work of self improvement. Is he a zen monk?
Excellent points. The aspect of dealing with a subordinate will also work for ass kissers as well. Every time one of my subordinates tried to be extra nice to me for rewards always ended up with an extra task. Bringing me a coffee was a bad idea, and the whole team appreciate the visible act that the system is fair. No favourites here.
Always amuzing when someone with an unchecked ego , tries to school others on how to check their ego 🙄 the best skill to have in life is to know when you are in the presence of hostile human and then turn the other way and walk brisky in the other direction 😊
It's a great idea but it doesn't work for me in some instances. It assumes that the person with a big ego HAS A PLAN THAT WILL WORK. I've seen the mission fail because the big ego with the bad plan won. And the team lost. Especially when the big ego is a consultant and the responsibility for winning isn't theirs.
Explaining your prior experience to a new team doesn't mean you have a big ego. It's just a way of saying "this is what I have to offer, how can I help?" Describing your prior experience to a new team is actually essential, so they know where you're coming from.
Had to work with a younger gent who just had to do stuff his way. My boss and I just let him do it an wait for him to fail. ego will fix itself eventually.
My big ego caused my small, slow *ss to intentionally develop hand speed & martial training. Never got pushed around, never got squashed. I don’t care if people think I have a big ego. I just am who I am. No need to flex. It is never the size of the dog in the fight. Superior people don’t need to flex, and lesser people can’t back up theirs. I recognize and respect knowledge, wisdom & integrity. The rest deserve courtesy unless they prove otherwise. Respect must be earned. But it usually isn’t hard to tell who has earned it. I have been fortunate to have avoided egomaniac managers and/or clients most of my career. I can’t imagine spending a decade trying to please a figurehead leader. YMMV. -Matt’s dad Dan
Ego calls to ego. Pride calls to pride. Flesh (the enemy of the soul) calls to flesh. It takes a much stronger mind, body and heart to control the ego, the emotions (cackles), and subordinate The Self. But capable humility is the path to victory. Remember who the real enemy is.
Oddly enough, I’ll get taken down. In jiu-jitsu, glad to accept defeat, i will learn from and move on. Only to get beaten again, and again. I’ll just be putting in the “reps”.
My hackles stood up. So I wonder if my "ego" played a role in me not taking the experimental medical procedure? Glad I didn't go down the subordination technique road on that one, because everyone else's ego thought I should.
That's cool when dealing with the boss but not when you're dealing with coworkers, and more importantly, strangers for example in restaurants --- or is it? Checking your ego in the workplace is one thing, but the situation dictates that it's not often the brightest thing to do in public locations clearly.
@@liefjorgen Read OK? Are you even a parent? Your ego can suffer violent harassing loudmouths while you're with your family, but I'd rather move move along.
Both my parents have huge egos. My stepdad is the most humble man I know. I followed his path. My ego is massive, but thanks to him its a tool in my bag, not a leash around my neck. I work in Healthcare with children, miserable sick people, and, oh, yeah, people with huge egos... go figure. I agree with you. Approaching everyone from a humble stance takes them off guard. Then, you sucker punch them with humor. It's hard to be a complete dick while laughing. Also, you get better Healthcare when the people working on you like you. Now, dealing with getting dressed down by an egotistical "superior", this is my personal favorite move. The no blink dead eyed stare. Look them in the eyes and don't react to ANYTHING. It drives them nuts. They actually told me that, then laughed. In regards to one of your first statements about combat changing your perspective on life. We all have trenches and foxholes to work in. Mine happens to be a hospital. So much life and death. It's rough, but also awesome if you can see the beauty in it and make people smile.
While this is good advice, I know it is - it’s hard to put into play when you’re body starts working against you, ur blood boils, and ur ego flares up intensely. How do u deal with someone with a massive ego who is below you in the rank structure and has no respect for authority? Thats where I’m having issues
Guve them humbling tasks and teach them humiliation. YOU have to want to do that to help them. Serve from your position, make it your goal to enrich others around you and you will end up taking cre of yourself in the long run.
Ideally, you just don't involve those people. And if you're inserting yourself into the life of someone with a giant ego in order to get them to submit to you, maybe you're the ones with giant egos. And considering, if you're using what is effectively parlor tricks to achieve compliance, maybe you don't deserve those giant egos. Earthen ramps...
See someone comes at me like that I put everything down and just say then do it yourself and walk away and I'm not showing you anything about how it works. Wait did I just use reverse psychology to crush your ego that you can crush mine
If you’re having difficulty with ego. Look into Jesus. He’s got the answers. He is the way the truth and the life. Through him you can be born again and see this world in an entirely new way. Peace be with you.
How bout someone with a big ego that’s your same level? Sounds like you’ve got everything figured out as a boss but nothing for the avg guy like most people here
What if the other guy's plan is shit? You realize that as a humble person you will learn a lot faster than the ego driven person and the likelyhood is the big ego is just a cover. So when you need a project now you have someone with a personality defect leading your project. Otherwise, your plan works fine.
Absolutely do not do what he said, you need to leave that situation as soon as possible. The world is a big place do not waste it one person out of billions on this planet.
I was in a unit, for a bunch of years. I had the trust of my brass and was used to making calls that the brass knew I could do. I transferred to another unit and that supervisor was a ram...as am I. We butted heads CONSTANTLY!!! Here's the thing. She outranked me. I took me a bit, but I figured it out and dialed my ego down to where it needed to be. We actually developed an excellent working relationship and she assigned me a duty that I attacked and became really good at. She trusted me and...let me make calls...as long as I ran it by her first. It works people.
@@justinlee2642 Seeing as how you don't know what you are talking about...making an uninformed judgement is stupid. Congratulations. Here's your prize.
@@justinlee2642 Yes. She's in charge. It's called "communication". "Ma'am, I have this going on, may I contact this other supervisor to rectify this issue?" I always got approved because I was trusted.
@user-zr6pl6nb6z Only in a Union job. That you can drop the ball, not care about your job, actions and generally not have discipline and get away with it. I'm a 20+ yr Truck driver. Go to customer location and you will definitely see a difference in work ethics. I have seen harder working employees at McDonald's vs Million dollar Union shops.
It’s just a basic tenant of what God Teaches when He Says “serve one another”or “regard others as more important than oneself” …just means to be Gracious and Humble like He Is to us by adapting a demeanor and words well chosen that don’t emfkame a person’s selfish arrogance by trying to outdo them but instead acknowledge how weak they are in their insecurity that bred a big ego and simply don’t choose to be offended by it by judging it, but to just show Grace and Patience to someone so petty and self-absorbed by letting them RHI k of themselves however their character empowers rather than competing against them to accomplish dominance which is absurdly empty of significance in most dynamics but certainly not all of course.
I LOOOOOOOOOOVE listnen to the WIZDOMMMM... You guys are the most evolved examples of LEADERS I see on EARTH right now. If I can't vote for Jacko I vote for TRUMP... another who speaks his TRUTH... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK... and doesn't MATTER where you've BEEN, WHAT you've DONE, what POSITION you HOLD.... WHAT is coming OUT oF YOU NOWWWWWWW... is all that MATTERS... and I SEE YOU.. with MY DISCERNING MIND... NO FEAR clouding JUDGEMENT.... all it takes is not being afraid to DIE and KNOWING there's NO CHANCE of FAILure... not a possibility in yOUR MIND... you have my gratefulness in kind
FBI. Holland. Holland. My confidence is warranted. My ego is healthy. The fact is any competent, confident woman is called out as big ego. It is a control measure of the current power structure. This has always happened, but in other power dynamics. i.e. white/black use of 'uppity.' british/Irish use of term 'getting above yourself.' Now men say women have a big ego. BTW. I'm answering a question by others, not this video.
"When you were in seals" isn't that exactly what you were talking about? (amusing, but we all fall into traps) Ego (military perspective) is the expression of self and over-confidence, some people have "ego" about religion. Some the significance of military and authoritarian discipline. They typically haven't experienced anything else. It means different things to different people id, ego, and superego were postulated by Sigmond Freud, Ego is the distinction of self from others and reality. The military trains people to believe that ego is bad and blend the term with arrogance, recklessness, and insubordination. To some degree there is truth behind this perspective, to act as a unit you have to set aside self identity. But not everyone can do that. Ego is not the same as arrogance. Ego = The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves. Arrogance = "A manifest feeling of personal superiority in rank, power, dignity, or estimation; the exalting of one's own worth or importance to an undue degree; pride with contempt of others; presumption." Experience = The state or fact of having made trial or proof, or of having acquired knowledge, wisdom, skill, etc., by actual trial or observation; also, the knowledge so acquired; personal and practical acquaintance with anything; experimental cognition or perception: as, he knows what suffering is by long experience; experience teaches even fools. Generally speaking Any fool can have an ego, any fool can be arrogant, but you have to be an exceptional fool to be a fool if you have experience. 8) They might be asking you that question because they think you have a giant ego? I guess that depends on what you define humility as if your definition is: The state or character of being humble; freedom from pride and arrogance; lowliness of mind; a low estimate of one's self; self-abasement. Then humility would be looking up the definitions of words even though you think you know what they mean. Humility would be reading that book even though you know what was in it. Humility would be reading the book again even though you thought you got everything from it. Don't get me wrong I am former Navy, and I wouldn't trade my experience and training for anything quite a bit more outside of it. The military taught me how to function as part of a team.
i always thought this was common sense. i realized i was wrong, lol the only problem you have is you, the only problem you will ever have, is you. you and as in your own ego.
That is ez I am sitting on a powder keg. Here guy take this dynamite and lighter. Far away would be nice. What is neat is when things work and we get to deliver a message that was 48 years in the making. I am very happy. I make new friends. Thank you. Elon and crew - you guys too. I know. Yea 30 year old Chief. ha oh about level seven, lots of characters get toasted. Group helps. Marching orders. A quest even side quests - little things add up. Feel the heat - good --- Me I am the frog - I know it. no worries. Money will come my you talk fast. Sometimes fate intervenes, sometime snot I didn't want anyone to feel left out. In times of stress - keep teams working - I don't agree with ratcheting it up. everybody needs to calm their tits what do I know. We will see. I think I turned in a long over due project. Dad had a way with words, humor - I would not be surprised. I am happy Guys really. Skipper - got it - whatever it was. I am pulling out all the stops to get in the game see if I can get a seat a the table. I know out of my league. like I said - doors is open. We all stand out of respect - Budda, Christ, they knew.
After I saw some girls basket ball did not stand, they were allowed to play but lost. It was about the same time but I did not know about it. Days start to merge bleeding together sfat - food does not taste very good. another week - or so - 5 days we will be past the eclipse whoo ha. Lots going on. Heads up -- I have no idea what the two day deal was - no concept of what happens between, never hear anything for minutes on end - like everyone else. Then again I guess, I never listen. Ringing in my ears something fierce. Sir. I think the painting represents something else but I am not sure - the funding business is - above my pay grade - don't kill the messenger.
another way of describing this is: "the way to beat an ultra-competitive person, is to help them win. For those types, the win was never the goal, they need to feel it is them vs the other. If you help them win, you win, but they lose, because the win was not theirs."
Hmm- did similar, other guy just took and took, goal posts kept moving, the more I subordinated the more lines he would cross. I think I subordinated my ego to the point there was no “me” left.
I think if Jocko Willink does or says anything, just about everyone is going to listen because he looks like a serial killer. For the rest of us, it probably doesn't come across the same to other people and different tactics have to be used
I think subordinating the ego is the first step in a longer process. I think what Jocko means is subordinate your ego so that you can deploy your bigger goal. Subordinating your ego just for the sake of itself is not the goal. In your case, it would subordinating your ego to gain trust from that guy, and then using that trust and rapport to get him to listen to your ideas or what ever you wanted from him in the first place. Now that you've earned his trust, you can tactfully show him that his negative attitude will lose him a person (you) who is valuable to him now. Depending on the situation, if he still takes and takes despite letting him know your boundaries, then cut ties with him and he will feel the pain of the loss, if he's not a psychopath. It's not a full proof plan but its one of the tenants in the art of war that put the odds of success in your favor.
@@rawcorporation thank you for expalining, im in the sitch rn about that. I went that exact route without knowing it. I have to leave a company due to psychopathic tendencies on their end. Its been very stressing and taxing on me.
What the implication is subordinate your own ego so when their failure materializes you can be there to step in and handle the situation.
When your dog is upset he will piss on the carpet. Humans do the same. It's just not on the carpet.
As someone that grew up with a few inflated egos, I always liked the phrase "Winners move minds in silence"
Letting others wear themselves out, riding positive waves, nudging towards personal goals, (generally) not being confrontational. There will be room for ego in nearly any situation, it just needs to be placed well.
Not sure I remember the quote correctly but I say like harry truman(in my head): it's amazing what you can accomplish as long as you don't care who gets the credit.
🤭
....or the huge bonus ($$$)? Yeah, that "never" happens. (Boss takes all the credit, year after year and his bosses are completely unaware, or worse, they know about and encourage the backstabbing of those under him.) At that point, move on.
Truth
People working for someone else always think that. Ignorance is blissful.
Yeah the problem in companies is that the loud person who "gets the credit" stays, while the good one are thanked away because they seem useless. Then the company sinks for "mysterious reasons".
I listened to a couple of monks give their perspective on ego. I would say that was a couple years ago now.
Almost every single problem that we run into ultimately comes down to Ego. The problems we create in the problems we run into always fall back to an ego. Being able to manage it definitely make your life a lot easier and helps you see things for what they really are. You don’t have to be a monk to realize this and you don’t have to see combat you don’t even have to be a navy seal. Jaco puts out tremendous advice so do the monks. EGO!! controlling that ego will minimize your suffering
My current boss (not a leader) has a huge ego. I have always been humble and work with humility. I still do my best to work with him and not let my ego flare up.
Jocko "I only need one knife on my side of the table" Willink has some good points
I'm so glad these videos are always available to look back at when my kids act wild or I feel there is a tough spot with coworkers/friends.
im sure this is a chapter in Dale Carnegie's awesome book, "How to Make Friends and Influence Others", THEREFORE, it is PURE GOLD. TY, SIRS
having listened to Mr. Jocko, and the best could say was
1. be the voice of sanity, leadership, or service, and let that be the voice, or standard to all, and should be enough
2. battling someone with a grand ego, or false sense of self takes therapy, or almost a team to subdue the worst, and there are calculated risks, worth, or perhaps a future friend, or therapy relation
3. be tough, or set down the law, yell, or let them know you have power, or to decide, and that it's better a good man shames, or mocks the arrogant, or troubled, or that they decide, chaos, or their betrayals
4. don't be afraid to take care of yourself, or realize when either pride, madness, or exploitation has taken a bite of you, or could lead to trauma, note that, and decide to not be a victim more than necessary, to stand your ground when needed, or that sometimes the good fight, or to tremble the demons is to your own people, or their folly, or disgrace
J. Brooks, from a danish health family, and that the cross is more important than the rights of sinners, the deluded, or evil
This is so true. Thank you, gentlemen. I am dealing with this right now with work, and I am constantly finding myself putting myself in check. It is not the easiest thing to do, however it is the correct thing to do.
Yeah the problem is eventually you have to either be the boss or find a better one to work for. Following the chain of command only works if the chain is competent.
Awesome talk and topic, can relate very much to this. Most of us would fear that by "subordinating our egos" we are letting the other person complete control over us, and that we loose our own individuality, and letting someone trample or take advantage of us. I wish you had elaborated more on this issue to make it clear that this is not the case. I think we need to stress that while we're subordinating our egos, we're not altogether abandoning our own control and letting ourselves being taken advantage of. It's a tricky situation that takes practice.
Great points! One thing that this also does is by you lowering your ego, it can also lower theirs. Often egotistical people will not hear your point of view until they are heard.
This seems to be a first step. But what happens when the egotist keeps pushing a plan that is unworkable, & won't back down and listen to reason? One thing I've found in the corporate world is that whoever speaks the loudest and most confidently gets listened to, regardless of the merit of anyone's position. The people who call the shots don't want to deal with refereeing disagreements, and don't want to argue with the confrontational loudmouth. I recently saw a landscape company go out of business because one belligerant guy insisted everyone do shoddy work, enjoyed telling everyone else what to do, and the owner of the company was too intimidated to deal with him. The good employees left the company, started their own businesses, taking many customers with them.
If they keep pushing a plan that is unworkable, then allow that failure to take place. There's no greater coach than failure.
Good.
@@paulpaul4681 Yes, it was nice to see justice play out!
Thanks again, Jocko and team for putting these videos out. I would love for you to release something on how to navigate DEIA in the workplace. Example, a head down hard worker constantly subjected to DEIA trainings, culture, and it shaping people's ability to get work done/ make promotions. As a middle aged hard working respectful white male, I feel like the target. Something I've never felt in the workplace. Thanks!
Work hard. Build relationships. Achieve your goals and exceed standards. When you put the overall team and the mission first you will create opportunities
One of the most valuable life lessons in this 10-minute clip
ABSOLUTE TRUTH.
Truth hurts. But if if you can check your own ego, you can deal with everyone else’s.
In all of heard uze say I think the most important point is the leader of the group highlighting the objective each morning.
Would like to explore the dynamic of True Confidence vs The Egotistical
This is pure success fuel and just what I needed to hear. Thanks
Yes, I can see that you're correct. It's difficult to do at times.
Your awesome! Thank you for serving our wonderful nation. But I'm just gonna tell you you're from New England and there are more level headed people there. God bless Jocko.
Mr. Jocko said it best, to deflate an ego you have to catch them off guard, or show them the way . .
here's what have to say, bit on angry side
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH SOMEONE A GIANT EGO, BLOATED CONFIDENCE, OR SICK PRIDE
1. realize they're corrupt, or dangerous to themselves, to others, or what they want, prioritize
2. you can try and be therapist, supporter to the damaged perspective, folly, or then damage control, or also to make sure there are fewer cultural, or personal consequences near vicinity
// arrogance, or egotism tend to be personality for most adults, and therapy could take years
3. see to your own needs, or survival, and realize no one is more important than another, add that getting traumatized, exploited, or bullied isn't the way to improve, add to own character
4. realize the either parents, or perhaps the system has failed this person, you have to accept
5. arrogance, pettiness, or psychopathy tend to correlate, and the damage such people take to a group, or family can be severe, or lasting, or also what one doesn't know, to realize later
6. arrogance, egotism, and ignorance tends to be almost hereditary, take care of yourself, or realize it's a poison, or ' demon ' to your own self, health, or how you perceive the world, self
7. you tend to be alone, or those that abuse power, rank, folly, or past to mock, or antagonize are usually good at getting away with that, or schemers, add traitors, difficult to stop, correct
8. they fight against an errant ego, or bloated self - portrayal, or - corruption is both of these, or the psyche, one could say it's a ' demon ', also a tarnish to culture, or rights, and to jail, etc
9. women, frail, or children tend to be victims, or easily seduced, or overwhelmed, to be care
10. to psychiatrists ' arrogance ' is a blend of culture, neglect to youth, ' personality ', and Hell
11. pick your battles, or look for a team to defeat an egotist, or that it requires help from gov
12. the arrogant, haughty, self - entitled, or corrupt to power also have rights, however to law
I think this video confirms I have finally checked ego. YES!!
Very good advice, it makes sense 💯 I got no interpretation that people pleasing is the answer.
Perfect timing! Thank you for the shift in perspective. ❤
I subconsciously did this, and i also think people should be respected for their ideas and we should be open to learn. like he says in the mid section - it's important that you keep your inner strength, or it can backfire if you need to change roles upwards to negotiate with some elbow/strongly narcissistic persons and don't bring a marine's backbone :-( they're gonna get used to you being humble and over time start pushing you down. brrr. with others being humble can foster be a life-long fruitful interaction.
Made me think of the way I have heard ex secret service talk about ego/self focus vs team/task focus and how we should check ourselves to not get into self mode and lose focus of the task
Sick intro! Big improvement
Echelon Front Media team kicks a$$
There you go. My own. Again thank you.
The hardest ego to deal with for any of us: our own
Beautiful episode!
Thanks for watching
I could see this technique being effective at work or on a team, or some other situation where the hierarchy is clear, but I'm not sure how it works around the table with family.
Telling someone they have a big ego is like telling a narcissistic person they are a narcissist. It doesn't go well.
When dealing with someone with an overly inflated ego, make sure you choose your battles and deal with situations with logic, especially when going against their word. Definitely don’t belittle yourself to their level or lose professionalism doing it. But if you can back up your decisions with strong logic and justification, it usually makes it difficult to argue. If worse comes to worse, you might have to leave the environment they are in, usually in a work sense, but let HR know it’s because of the poor attitude that person has.
agree, I think this is an even better option than the one suggested.
Sometimes it is wise to listen to the dude that has experience. It’s actually the dudes that have little or no experience that talk out of turn that have the ego.
Jocko retired Seal Eric Deming was on antihero podcast he pretty much said you had a big ego and he said how stupid you were sending guys out during the day instead of night and he also run chris kyle in the ground saying several bad things about him even said he was a wife beater. Why even get on that podcast and say anything like that about Chris he's not here to back himself that Eric dude had no reason to say that and he really run marcus down said he didn't shoot one time he turned and ran down the mountain as soon as the fight started and left his guys up there fighting alone. He said everything marcus said was a lie and the guys on anti hero Brett agreed with him. I hope and pray you say something on here or to his face for running you guys down on that podcast. Please say something to him and I would love for you to mention it on her since he thought it was right to air his thoughts of you guys on the antihero podcast which I'll never watch again. I watch you and Marcus and tried that guys podcast and knew instantly I didn't like it . I told him let's hear some stories about his guys that screwed up but pretty sure he's not gonna bring anything up about them.
100%
It’s very simple……..taught to me by the military also………especially when there’s their ego involved. Have the solutions prior to the problems . It’s not 100%, 100% of the time. It’s tough to foresee any problems, but as we were taught with a lot of situations, we practiced all situations until we couldn’t get it wrong, not until we got it right.
Who is this guy? He is so humble, wise and simple - simplicity that hints at great inner complexity and great work of self improvement. Is he a zen monk?
Love how much I learn from these guys.
Excellent points. The aspect of dealing with a subordinate will also work for ass kissers as well. Every time one of my subordinates tried to be extra nice to me for rewards always ended up with an extra task. Bringing me a coffee was a bad idea, and the whole team appreciate the visible act that the system is fair. No favourites here.
Always amuzing when someone with an unchecked ego , tries to school others on how to check their ego 🙄 the best skill to have in life is to know when you are in the presence of hostile human
and then turn the other way and walk brisky in the other direction 😊
Spot on, great advice, it works
So true. Love your talks :-)
is it the close up or the wide thats flipped?
Ah, so be the change that you want to see in the world.
It’s like a backburn, the raging fire will burn out-because you took away the fuel.
So much wisdom!!
It's a great idea but it doesn't work for me in some instances. It assumes that the person with a big ego HAS A PLAN THAT WILL WORK. I've seen the mission fail because the big ego with the bad plan won. And the team lost. Especially when the big ego is a consultant and the responsibility for winning isn't theirs.
Explaining your prior experience to a new team doesn't mean you have a big ego. It's just a way of saying "this is what I have to offer, how can I help?" Describing your prior experience to a new team is actually essential, so they know where you're coming from.
All Navy Seals must have big ego's. Or big pride? I think you make some good points, however, roles need to be fulfilled as well.
Had to work with a younger gent who just had to do stuff his way. My boss and I just let him do it an wait for him to fail. ego will fix itself eventually.
My big ego caused my small, slow *ss to intentionally develop hand speed & martial training.
Never got pushed around, never got squashed.
I don’t care if people think I have a big ego. I just am who I am. No need to flex.
It is never the size of the dog in the fight.
Superior people don’t need to flex, and lesser people can’t back up theirs.
I recognize and respect knowledge, wisdom & integrity.
The rest deserve courtesy unless they prove otherwise. Respect must be earned. But it usually isn’t hard to tell who has earned it.
I have been fortunate to have avoided egomaniac managers and/or clients most of my career.
I can’t imagine spending a decade trying to please a figurehead leader.
YMMV.
-Matt’s dad Dan
" your in-charge, what you need to do is: ...."
Works great for me.
Leif with the Verbal Jits
You know it
thanks, I'll write this down to remember just in case I go back in time to when i was 8 years old and needed to hear this LMAO
check your ego bro. lol
@@mbagwell2607 check your own bro
Ego calls to ego. Pride calls to pride. Flesh (the enemy of the soul) calls to flesh.
It takes a much stronger mind, body and heart to control the ego, the emotions (cackles), and subordinate The Self. But capable humility is the path to victory. Remember who the real enemy is.
I don't need to listen to this, I know what I'm doing!
Ha!
Oddly enough, I’ll get taken down. In jiu-jitsu, glad to accept defeat, i will learn from and move on. Only to get beaten again, and again. I’ll just be putting in the “reps”.
I live near a base. They all drive pickups...have big dogs..and subscribe to shooter mag. If u didn't youd be labelled not a team player.
My hackles stood up. So I wonder if my "ego" played a role in me not taking the experimental medical procedure? Glad I didn't go down the subordination technique road on that one, because everyone else's ego thought I should.
Hackles.
That's cool when dealing with the boss but not when you're dealing with coworkers, and more importantly, strangers for example in restaurants --- or is it? Checking your ego in the workplace is one thing, but the situation dictates that it's not often the brightest thing to do in public locations clearly.
Try it. You might be suprised
says the ego
@@liefjorgen Read OK? Are you even a parent? Your ego can suffer violent harassing loudmouths while you're with your family, but I'd rather move move along.
Both my parents have huge egos. My stepdad is the most humble man I know. I followed his path. My ego is massive, but thanks to him its a tool in my bag, not a leash around my neck. I work in Healthcare with children, miserable sick people, and, oh, yeah, people with huge egos... go figure. I agree with you. Approaching everyone from a humble stance takes them off guard. Then, you sucker punch them with humor. It's hard to be a complete dick while laughing. Also, you get better Healthcare when the people working on you like you. Now, dealing with getting dressed down by an egotistical "superior", this is my personal favorite move. The no blink dead eyed stare. Look them in the eyes and don't react to ANYTHING. It drives them nuts. They actually told me that, then laughed. In regards to one of your first statements about combat changing your perspective on life. We all have trenches and foxholes to work in. Mine happens to be a hospital. So much life and death. It's rough, but also awesome if you can see the beauty in it and make people smile.
While this is good advice, I know it is - it’s hard to put into play when you’re body starts working against you, ur blood boils, and ur ego flares up intensely. How do u deal with someone with a massive ego who is below you in the rank structure and has no respect for authority? Thats where I’m having issues
Guve them humbling tasks and teach them humiliation. YOU have to want to do that to help them. Serve from your position, make it your goal to enrich others around you and you will end up taking cre of yourself in the long run.
What if the guy you assigned a task out of his reach is not humbled, but blames others?
If Navy Seals and Spec Ops guys are worried about deescalating the situation then cops can too
I’m training this kid right now in my factory on some complex equipment and he is struggling but never wants to be accountable.
Ideally, you just don't involve those people. And if you're inserting yourself into the life of someone with a giant ego in order to get them to submit to you, maybe you're the ones with giant egos. And considering, if you're using what is effectively parlor tricks to achieve compliance, maybe you don't deserve those giant egos. Earthen ramps...
No idea what this means
I’m just a caveman…
See someone comes at me like that I put everything down and just say then do it yourself and walk away and I'm not showing you anything about how it works. Wait did I just use reverse psychology to crush your ego that you can crush mine
If you’re having difficulty with ego. Look into Jesus. He’s got the answers. He is the way the truth and the life. Through him you can be born again and see this world in an entirely new way. Peace be with you.
Leif should be the next Batman!
Subordinate your own ego to yourself. Not to the other person.
🔥🔥🔥
How bout someone with a big ego that’s your same level? Sounds like you’ve got everything figured out as a boss but nothing for the avg guy like most people here
Let's go 🎉 \π/ rock on
What if the other guy's plan is shit? You realize that as a humble person you will learn a lot faster than the ego driven person and the likelyhood is the big ego is just a cover. So when you need a project now you have someone with a personality defect leading your project. Otherwise, your plan works fine.
Smart
These guys, as incredible as they are, are justifying insubordination.
Telling an egomaniac to check their ego is the male equivalent of telling a chick to calm down.
hackle not cackle
Absolutely do not do what he said, you need to leave that situation as soon as possible. The world is a big place do not waste it one person out of billions on this planet.
As a.. As a.. As a... I see that all over YT and FB. As a....
I was in a unit, for a bunch of years. I had the trust of my brass and was used to making calls that the brass knew I could do. I transferred to another unit and that supervisor was a ram...as am I. We butted heads CONSTANTLY!!! Here's the thing. She outranked me. I took me a bit, but I figured it out and dialed my ego down to where it needed to be. We actually developed an excellent working relationship and she assigned me a duty that I attacked and became really good at. She trusted me and...let me make calls...as long as I ran it by her first. It works people.
As long as you ran it by her first 😂😂 beta
@@StatueofGuyThinking Then I call her for every decision. there are A LOT of decisions that are made at that assignment.
@@justinlee2642 Seeing as how you don't know what you are talking about...making an uninformed judgement is stupid. Congratulations. Here's your prize.
@@justinlee2642 Yes. She's in charge. It's called "communication". "Ma'am, I have this going on, may I contact this other supervisor to rectify this issue?" I always got approved because I was trusted.
@@ed1968man I do know what I'm talking about 🤔 what about you ? 🤡🤡
Check yourself and remember the job and you can be replaced tomorrow
Maybe if you're working at McDonald's or something.
@user-zr6pl6nb6z Only in a Union job. That you can drop the ball, not care about your job, actions and generally not have discipline and get away with it. I'm a 20+ yr Truck driver. Go to customer location and you will definitely see a difference in work ethics. I have seen harder working employees at McDonald's vs Million dollar Union shops.
@@slayer04031974 I'm a truck driver myself. My employer knows I'm good and wouldn't be able to just replace me.
@@slayer04031974 I'm a truck driver as well. My employer knows I'm good and couldn't simply replace me with someone equal.
@@slayer04031974 I can't reply to you. The massive ego who runs the channel won't let me.
It’s just a basic tenant of what God Teaches when He Says “serve one another”or “regard others as more important than oneself” …just means to be Gracious and Humble like He Is to us by adapting a demeanor and words well chosen that don’t emfkame a person’s selfish arrogance by trying to outdo them but instead acknowledge how weak they are in their insecurity that bred a big ego and simply don’t choose to be offended by it by judging it, but to just show Grace and Patience to someone so petty and self-absorbed by letting them RHI k of themselves however their character empowers rather than competing against them to accomplish dominance which is absurdly empty of significance in most dynamics but certainly not all of course.
I LOOOOOOOOOOVE listnen to the WIZDOMMMM... You guys are the most evolved examples of LEADERS I see on EARTH right now. If I can't vote for Jacko I vote for TRUMP... another who speaks his TRUTH... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK... and doesn't MATTER where you've BEEN, WHAT you've DONE, what POSITION you HOLD.... WHAT is coming OUT oF YOU NOWWWWWWW... is all that MATTERS... and I SEE YOU.. with MY DISCERNING MIND... NO FEAR clouding JUDGEMENT.... all it takes is not being afraid to DIE and KNOWING there's NO CHANCE of FAILure... not a possibility in yOUR MIND... you have my gratefulness in kind
Yup. If you can't put your own ego in check long enough to work something out, then you're just as bad as the other guy.
I watched the entire video and I don't even have an eagle.
BOOM
FBI.
Holland.
Holland.
My confidence
is warranted.
My ego is healthy.
The fact is any competent, confident woman is called out as big ego.
It is a control measure of the current power structure.
This has always happened, but in other power dynamics.
i.e. white/black
use of 'uppity.'
british/Irish use of term 'getting above yourself.'
Now men say women have a big ego.
BTW.
I'm answering a question by others, not this video.
"When you were in seals" isn't that exactly what you were talking about? (amusing, but we all fall into traps) Ego (military perspective) is the expression of self and over-confidence, some people have "ego" about religion. Some the significance of military and authoritarian discipline. They typically haven't experienced anything else. It means different things to different people id, ego, and superego were postulated by Sigmond Freud, Ego is the distinction of self from others and reality. The military trains people to believe that ego is bad and blend the term with arrogance, recklessness, and insubordination. To some degree there is truth behind this perspective, to act as a unit you have to set aside self identity. But not everyone can do that. Ego is not the same as arrogance.
Ego = The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
Arrogance = "A manifest feeling of personal superiority in rank, power, dignity, or estimation; the exalting of one's own worth or importance to an undue degree; pride with contempt of others; presumption."
Experience = The state or fact of having made trial or proof, or of having acquired knowledge, wisdom, skill, etc., by actual trial or observation; also, the knowledge so acquired; personal and practical acquaintance with anything; experimental cognition or perception: as, he knows what suffering is by long experience; experience teaches even fools.
Generally speaking Any fool can have an ego, any fool can be arrogant, but you have to be an exceptional fool to be a fool if you have experience. 8)
They might be asking you that question because they think you have a giant ego?
I guess that depends on what you define humility as if your definition is:
The state or character of being humble; freedom from pride and arrogance; lowliness of mind; a low estimate of one's self; self-abasement.
Then humility would be looking up the definitions of words even though you think you know what they mean. Humility would be reading that book even though you know what was in it. Humility would be reading the book again even though you thought you got everything from it. Don't get me wrong I am former Navy, and I wouldn't trade my experience and training for anything quite a bit more outside of it. The military taught me how to function as part of a team.
"When I was in Baghdad" is not much different than "When I was with the SEAL teams." Just saying.
I like my fighter pilots to have big egos 😊
There are no justified resentments
Dude sounds like clint eastwood
Dying ain’t much of a living, Boy
Pssh, just tell them "yeah but your momma likes it"
what's with the Batman voice from Leif? Dude you don't need it.
aiii, but don't call your private life the home front ! :-)
i always thought this was common sense. i realized i was wrong, lol the only problem you have is you, the only problem you will ever have, is you. you and as in your own ego.
That is ez
I am sitting on a powder keg.
Here guy take this dynamite and lighter.
Far away would be nice.
What is neat is when things work
and we get to deliver a message that was
48 years in the making. I am very happy.
I make new friends. Thank you. Elon and crew - you guys too. I know.
Yea 30 year old Chief. ha
oh about level seven, lots of characters get toasted.
Group helps. Marching orders. A quest even side quests - little things add up.
Feel the heat - good --- Me I am the frog - I know it. no worries.
Money will come my you talk fast.
Sometimes fate intervenes, sometime snot
I didn't want anyone to feel left out.
In times of stress - keep teams working -
I don't agree with ratcheting it up.
everybody needs to calm their tits
what do I know. We will see. I think I turned in a long over due project.
Dad had a way with words, humor - I would not be surprised.
I am happy Guys really.
Skipper - got it - whatever it was.
I am pulling out all the stops to get in the game
see if I can get a seat a the table.
I know
out of my league.
like I said - doors is open.
We all stand out of respect - Budda, Christ, they knew.
After I saw some girls basket ball did not stand, they were allowed to play but lost. It was about the same time but I did not know about it. Days start to merge bleeding together sfat - food does not taste very good. another week - or so - 5 days we will be past the eclipse whoo ha. Lots going on. Heads up -- I have no idea what the two day deal was - no concept of what happens between, never hear anything for minutes on end - like everyone else. Then again I guess, I never listen. Ringing in my ears something fierce. Sir.
I think the painting represents something else but I am not sure - the funding business is - above my pay grade - don't kill the messenger.
'Promo SM' 😝