The most underrated joke in this video is the part about polar bears being generally friendly. They will literally kill you no matter what because they have no natural enemies
If you are in Texas require the bear to fill a legal document in that it says it will attack you this will give you 24 hours before the crime is committed upon you get this time to get a sanctioned legal document to have a fight and when you fight use the Texas sword law assuming you are 18 or older to openly carry a sword use that sword to cut its eyes out and make a rug
If you can not do this leave Texas head more New Mexico and go for its grandparents home then cause it to have a mental breakdown because he or she thought they were dead
I mean, in a real situation with a polar bear you might as well say your last words because they will kill you if they wanna. And oh man do they wanna in our situation.
@@QueenFondueOh good. You can also scare them off by offering them something like schweppes, at which point they realise the beverage is not from coca cola and they will either run away or have a sip and die immediately
I met a black bear when I was in the Boy Scouts on a camp out. Real nice chap, decided to get his life together and went back to school. Still writes me to this day, swell fellow.
On a serious note, i actually think that this wouldnt work, the bear could probably go after you next or just choose you as his prey and forget about the slower one, i am self aware about this being a joke so i retract the ability to type r/whoosh *r/whoosh is now unable to be typed
As an avid hiker for two decades in the Blue Ride Mountains, I have come across many black bears and not once have I had to resort to standing up to them. They have always looked at me and wandered off in a benign manner
This is seriously the most insanely well-developed humor I have ever seen, and I could bearly breathe from incontrollable laughter! Now we all need a video on how to survive a laugh-attack, but that might just finish us off...
@@lukasmuller6206 Well yeah, everything is just standard practice when confronted by a bear, what they didn't teach you about the great bear war against kuzvoxian in school?
This is so helpful and more people should know about this! I got into a fight with a bear and he ended up trauma ranting to me. I am now the leader of the rotuva prime and has safely returned to earth.
Oh, he is just sad his dad asked how his relationship with his dad is which sows how much his dad remembers him Tell your kid everything is going to be ok
In my general opinion, most people disrespect Bing and treat it as a minority, and joke against Google. I am aware that Google has more popularity, but mistreating Bing for the fact that it is NOT Google is truly unfair.
Me: Lives in the northeast USA where our parents teach us this from when we could basically fit into a single bear nom:. Also me: But what if every one i ever met was wrong......
This is very helpful. I just survived that failed parachute and fell into some nearby trees. Turns out, that was home to some black bears. Now we are besties
@@Arslan35 He did, the game finished with he and 3 bears still standing. He was then allowed into the inner circle of the bears, as a sign of respect. He’s in so deep with them now he appears like a bear to the naked eye. Upon closer inspection it can be realized he is modifying his own genetic makeup to better blend in, but he is still very much human. He will soon board the spaceship and follow through with these steps.
*reads video title* “Oh, this might come in handy one day, let’s see” “Step 8, *_Help rescue the bear’s family from the enslavement of the Kuzvoxian Nanites”_* “...wait wha-“
Step 1: Determine the type of Bear that is before you. Step 8: Help rescue the bear’s family from the enslavement of the kuzvoxian nanites. Step 15: Return to earth
Ask the bear these questions: - What is Obama’s last name ? - What is Victoria’s Secret? - What does IDK mean? - What is the airspeed/velocity of a sparrow?
I have the equation to find the velocity written down somewhere... I also have the African Swallow's air speed velocity written down in a different journal simply because I don't want to be sent into that damn pit
Fun Facts: The reason you can't play dead with a black bear is because they are scavengers and will just eat you anyways. Bear Spray becomes much less effective in windy and rainy conditions, noise is still the best preventative countermeasure. We would take air horns with us on surveys. Knifes and Machetes are the best combative measure if things escalate and you aren't the team leader with the rifle. But if you don't know how to properly swing a machete it's more likely to bounce back and injure you. A bear really needs to be in a bad spot or feel cornered to have a go at a human. Keep in mind it's likely more afraid of you and gain confidence from that. Black mail is a dirty but effective tactic. If you can stealthily get a candid photograph of the bear in an embarrassing position, say getting slapped in the jowl by a salmon it was trying to catch, don't be afraid to use this as leverage in negotiations with the bear. Communicate that you will broadcast the photos to the bears in the surrounding territories, so his only option is to grant you safe passage or be ostracized by the bear community. If you play your cards right you can even force the bear to become a servant under you through a honey pot scheme. We call these Pooh Bears.
@@FullMetalChains jokes on you he was our by far best soldier, thats what happens when ur trying to be normal Civilized European Boi but The Slavic Blood kicks im
0:22 "The Grizzlies are basically unstoppable, and your only chance is to play dead." The bear be like "cool acting dude, let's make it more convincing"
It's actually surprisingly straightforward to take down a bear with a well-placed spear thrust. Spear hunting bears is a pretty traditional thing. I would rather not find myself in a life or death scenario, but if I had to I'd rather fight a grizzly with a spear than play dead and hope he gets bored of breaking my bones like di Caprio.
How i'd become taller in this situation: Step 1: take hoodie off Step 2: grab long stick Step 3: hold the hood with stick Step 4: wave around Step 5: make a nation with the flag design being your hoodie Step 6: become a famous and amazing mayor of your little town Step 7: point and laugh at the bear for being poor
Yes, I made a coffee mug. teespring.com/shop/how-to-survive-a-bear-attack-c
AustinMcConnell hi
Good video times with Austin
Not bears
Fallen on hard times huh
nice mr McConnell
“Yo bear wait a sec I gotta watch this video to survive your attack”
Bear:”Oh, aight”
"Ayy bro I'm done guess I have to play dead now"
Bear : "Sounds legit bro, have a nice day."
“Yooooo bear wait a sec, you’re a polar bear so I guess I gotta give ya a soda real quick”
Bear: “ok boomer”
"How about we play a game of wits?"
"Sure, man"
"hey man you wanna join our picnic and have a bottle?"
"yeah sure man, thanks"
AimZayx _UNDERSTANDABLE HAVE A NICE DAY_
Just climb a tree and when the bear starts to climb jump on it like Mario.
Underrated comment
wtf u genius
I'm gonna do what's called a pro gamer move
Borrow Cappy
I wonder just how bad you could hurt a bear by actually doing this
Step 16: Realize that you died somewhere around step 3.
Bruh
Ah yes a man of culture
this was stolen from a meme
@@coolboy5539 congrats you discovered the truth. Thousands of RUclips comments if not millions are stolen from Memes. *such shock*
Thecommander248 cool. Doesn’t mean you do it too
"Polar bears are generally friendly."
Sounds like something a hungry polar bear would say.
😀 😀 😀 😀 Yeah, luring you into a false sense of security
If you watch this video because you are faced with a polar bear, you might as well be comforted before moving on.
Are you saying what I think you're saying
I am not hungry i do not eat people
@@cubes3858 yeah that's a racist stereotype polar bear definitely don't eat people
Not gonna lie, you had us in the first half.
Wish i could post the meme here
yeah of course
adriana g Wdym? This video is completely serious and not something to joke about
you seriously bought give a polar bear a coca cola?
Ii gave you your 1 thousandth like
This started as the parachute failure video and ended as Exerb1a
my favourite turtle
employ the selfdestruct
Exactly the same
I came from that parachute vid also.
Omgggg thats exactly what I was thinking before i stumbled on to your comment
Instructions not clear, I got assassinated before I became president of the bears colony.
F
How are you still alive? :o
@@fransescom.b1178 Hes been reincarnated as a bear
Then how, dear sir, are you capable of typing this comment? :|
/r wooosh
"Having the high ground means nothing to a black bear"
Star Wars would've turned out *very* differently if Anakin was a black bear
No, it BEARely would've made a difference.
@@magicschoolbuscarlos That joke was unbearable
@@smallw1991 you bearly tried making a joke
@@RandomPerson-kf6qm I know, but sometimes it bearly makes a difference judging by the iq level of the internet
he could say the n word
The most underrated joke in this video is the part about polar bears being generally friendly. They will literally kill you no matter what because they have no natural enemies
lol i thought they are actually friendly if they are fed hahaha
. . . Aha I got it! *melt him*
* have no natural enemies *
* Pulls out white bear's skin *
"No natural enemies"
*_Laughs in climate change_ *
Well, orcas have been known to kill and eat polar bears.
So pack an orca!
Just say "no" The bear cannot legally harm you.
If you are in Texas require the bear to fill a legal document in that it says it will attack you this will give you 24 hours before the crime is committed upon you get this time to get a sanctioned legal document to have a fight and when you fight use the Texas sword law assuming you are 18 or older to openly carry a sword use that sword to cut its eyes out and make a rug
If you can not do this leave Texas head more New Mexico and go for its grandparents home then cause it to have a mental breakdown because he or she thought they were dead
And if they try to charge you, cancel their credit card.
Good meme
>"just say no"
Dude, it says this would happen on the USA, not on Canada.
Instructions unclear. I ended up having a dance battle with the bear.
LMAO
Did you win?
@@mikrokosmos9290 well he hasn't said anything since, I'm not sure
Cryptic The bear was probably had street dance moves... he’s not looking so good
Don’t worry guys, if he knows ballet he’ll win
"There are no rules in bear fighting."
**posts a meme in general**
Everybody gansta till the bear becomes a mod
no thats just a rule of nature
Bro, you just broke 3 peace treaties in one sitting
UN.....UNACCEPTABLE SUCH BARBAROUS ACTS
@@owlismyfavouritecolorflame2325 and they runs when the sun comes up
If it's brown, lay down
If it's black, fight back
If its white, good night
Racist don't fight the black bear, ask him for N word pass
After obtaining the n word pass, say the n word to defeat the white bear
@@juicycow8708 Big brain move there
If it's black please don't attack. They are peaceful.
@@NightRainPanda seems legit
"there are no rules in bear fighting"
Who knew I'd hear that in my life.
The only major time I would encounter a bear would be hunting but that's why you always have a bear gun
I was going to like the comment but it was at 420
@@brachslap you have the right to bear arms
When your friend gives you legit advice but the crystal meth finally hits him half way through
LMAOO I-
I’m so glad I read this before starting this video.
Best comment hands down.
Thank you for curing my depression
This comment honestly made me lol😂😂
First half is helpful
The second half is EVEN MORE HELPFUL
The beginning was a little weird but it finally made sense to me towards the end
The beginning was a little weird but in the final looks like we are in the beginning
Same here
😂
Yes. With those "feet" and "miles"...
Agreed
I should have known it was a joke when you told me to give a polar bear some Coca Cola, but I was a fool.
I mean, in a real situation with a polar bear you might as well say your last words because they will kill you if they wanna. And oh man do they wanna in our situation.
Nah fam I got a Coca Cola we're good
@@QueenFondueOh good. You can also scare them off by offering them something like schweppes, at which point they realise the beverage is not from coca cola and they will either run away or have a sip and die immediately
Polar bear was a joke. It was legit for the grizzly/brown bear and the black bear until step 5. Then it took a turn.
Nah just use a inflamable spayer with fire🔥🔥🔥
And thats how amazon forest
How did this go from:"Dont run" to
"Collapse the economy"
Were you not paying attention. Gosh, next time take notes.
Hahahahahahahaha blackmail the bear
I met a black bear when I was in the Boy Scouts on a camp out. Real nice chap, decided to get his life together and went back to school. Still writes me to this day, swell fellow.
I thought you were just doing a repeat of the skydiving video but man, that twist was unexpected.
@@Brapmania You're right. I need to go stock up on honey.
I thought it was gonna be a real video till step 5 lmao
JoybuzzahzTV Playing dead is actually a real countermeasure.
I thought the same thing
@JoybuzzahzTV yeah, everything before step 5 is accurate to what you should do in a bear attack.
him: “bears have excellent mathematical skills and reasoning”
me still not realizing it’s a joke:
*interesting*
That advices is just a waste of time
My advives
1: You have to be russian
2: all Bears around the world afraid of you
@Caprikachu bruh check your comment again
Y: S ame
@Caprikachu what was your original comment?
@Caprikachu ah😂
How to survive a bear attack:
1. Befriend someone who runs slower than you
2. Outrun them when the bear attacks
Big brain time.
Might work, unless the bear is an excellent sniper.
On a serious note, i actually think that this wouldnt work, the bear could probably go after you next or just choose you as his prey and forget about the slower one, i am self aware about this being a joke so i retract the ability to type r/whoosh
*r/whoosh is now unable to be typed
@@davidcook8073 r/w00sh
@@lxverdant1837 *alexander padilla has now been kicked for violating the whoosh rule
As an avid hiker for two decades in the Blue Ride Mountains, I have come across many black bears and not once have I had to resort to standing up to them. They have always looked at me and wandered off in a benign manner
Now I'm starting to doubt his parachute video.
Wait so you never economically cripled an entire a race?
a yeti making yellow snow this is underrated
me too hahahaha
Simon S. Same
I sweeeaaarr 🤣
This video is the very definition of "that escalated quickly."
"There are no rules in bear fighting"
Lol, put that on a tee-shirt.
Sarcasm -oh my god please do. Especially with the little silhouettes. I’d buy that in a heartbeat
I'm buying at least 7
Done. teespring.com/bearfighting-rules
@@austinmcconnell Haha nice!
AustinMcConnell The absolute mad lad
This is seriously the most insanely well-developed humor I have ever seen, and I could bearly breathe from incontrollable laughter! Now we all need a video on how to survive a laugh-attack, but that might just finish us off...
haha bearly I see what you did there
@@latermyfriend8934I see what u did there too :)
So lesson is... just carry a bottle of coke in case it's a polar bear?
It was our first hint that something was of, wasn't it?
really that's what seems silly to you about this video^^
@@lukasmuller6206 Well yeah, everything is just standard practice when confronted by a bear, what they didn't teach you about the great bear war against kuzvoxian in school?
I mean... It will need something to wash you down.
Если этот коммент наберёт 100 лаков, Я сделаю **РАЗБОР** этого видео!
Like this comment if you **speak** more than one language!
"There are no rules in bear fighting"
*hits bear below the belt*
"There is now 1 rule in bear fighting"
Imagine the bear telling you a rule before continue on hunting
_now i want a nice fight, i want a clean fight, no hits below the belt unless it’s funny, in which case absolutely s e n d i t_
_pulls out shotgun_ *are you sure there’s no rules*
Your going to far
This video is literally the “They had us in the first half not gonna lie”
They sure did man, they sure did
Not really, within the first minute he suggests using coca-cola to appease the only bear species in North America known to regularly hunt humans
@@thomaswillard6267 imimimimiimimimimimimimimimimCaNaDiAn
No, that would be his channel
700th like yay
This is so helpful and more people should know about this! I got into a fight with a bear and he ended up trauma ranting to me. I am now the leader of the rotuva prime and has safely returned to earth.
Ya know... I thought this was serous for a second there.
... it is. Unless you're talking about blackmailing the bear. Other than that, the honey and economy crashing is greatly encouraged.
Brandon Chan
No, I was talking about the bear revealing his deepest darkest secrets to me, that would take at least an hour
@@PetRatPro oh, I see. I guess it would take longer or shorter for different people.
@@PetRatPro if you're having trouble, the bear is weak to curse damage, should let you skip a couple steps straight to the blackmailing
In the start it sounded real.
The only way to survive bear attack:
*evolve and start flying*
/gamemode creative
Or be like me
Never leave your house
Jojo refercence ?
Just bear with the situtation
@@skyrimguard3501 No, you'll stop thinking. The bear will become a billionaire and get stand power at 68 years old
The first rule of bear fight club, there are no rules in bear fight club.
Also, we do not talk about bear fight club
@@kislayparashar yes, i do not know what bear fight club means *wink*
Man Of The Hour who’s talking about what now I’m confused
You just talked about bear fight club
You do not speak of bear fight club
2:32 when the meth finally hits him
Instructions unclear bear is currently having a mental breakdown after I asked him how his relationship is with his father.
damn bro ya hot af
Are you dead? Plz don’t be dead. If you’re dead then that means asking personal questions don’t work.
Felipe Scheffel ahaha u see it
Bruh you fine
Oh, he is just sad his dad asked how his relationship with his dad is which sows how much his dad remembers him
Tell your kid everything is going to be ok
Not gonna lie, they had us in the first half.
Not gonna lie, copied comments are funny
Not gonna lie, copied comments are funny
Not gonna lie, copied comments are funny
Not gonna lie, copied comments are funny
Not gonna lie, copied comments are funny.
Can’t wait for the “based on a true story” movie about the person who was able to do this
This is it.
They’re either from Russia or Florida.
Play the mind game with a bear
How the hell are they supposed to make a 3min attack into 2hrs
Watch The Reverent
Please make more of these how to videos - you saved my life twice already! When my parachute failed I landed on a black bear 😁
"How to survive a bear attack?"
Google: First half of the video
Bing: Second half of the video
true
Yes
In my general opinion, most people disrespect Bing and treat it as a minority, and joke against Google. I am aware that Google has more popularity, but mistreating Bing for the fact that it is NOT Google is truly unfair.
@@silentkpkp4433 You came here from r/woooosh, didn't ya?
@@silentkpkp4433 huh, ok
This is inaccurate. There was not a single mention of picnic baskets
Picanic baskets
Yogi bitch wouldn’t stand a chance.
Cat Bacon I stand corrected
*Picahnik
Step1: Survive the bear attack.
r/restofthefuckingowl
Step 2:
@@jordanray1537 r/ihavereddit
@Dodge YT -CGZ- Bears also attacks homes, there are several cases in Alaska
@@pmmeurcatpics r/wegetityoudontlikereddit
After getting into an encounter with a black bear and employing these strategies, I can 100% confirm that is a proven method to surviving
Howdy.
Did u win the election tho?
bullshit
“Polar bears are typically friendly, but when upset can be subdued by an ice-cold bottle of Coca-Cola
Didn’t know I was a polar bear
Lol
Lmao
lmfao
Lololtrololol
lmao
Video should be called. "How to forget everything you've just learned."
Theres way easier way just shoot it in face
@@FrozenPanzer how nobody has guns lol
@@cryptic2121 i have
Simonster Not does a car work???
@@your_host_9657 Dude hitting a dear will destroy your car.... What happens when you hit a bear....
"Having the high ground essentially means nothing against a black bear"
_Impossible, perhaps the archives are incomplete_
It's over, bear! I have the high ground!
@@jimitgajera You underestimate my claws!
@@Strelv Don't try it
@@6Cthebest AAHHHHH! (leaps into the air)
General Kenobi...
This is the ultimate manifestation of:
"Not gonna lie, you had us in the first half."
Me: *lives in the UK, no wild bears*
Also me: "just incase"
We have pigeons, just as scary, and just as viscous when provoked
I live in Egypt and done the same thing
We do have wild bears. Just not many. Our problem is stags. I saw a doe and what ever the child is called. I knew what that meant and sprinted away.
Me: Lives in the northeast USA where our parents teach us this from when we could basically fit into a single bear nom:.
Also me: But what if every one i ever met was wrong......
@@sophiewith7es830 don't forget the vicious, dreaded squirrels
*Oh yeah, a bear is trying attack me in a forest, oh let me pull out my giant metal shuriken that i always have on me*
Sounds like a plan man
Only weebs would do that.
@@John777-3ok, i wold like to see you pull a 5 foot bat, because that's the only thing that would fit
@@ItzMisterVee Did you confirm you're a weeb?
@@John777-3 no, did you confirm your ok
I can’t tell if this man is trying to save me or kill me
Both the bear won’t kill you but he will hire someone if you give his long long lost brother the white bear a Pepsi
Step 0 bring your sacraf...... _freind_ with you and be good at running and make sure he's bad at running
been researching for hours to find a good video like this as i am currently being attacked by a bear. thanks u earned a sub ❤
“Rescue the bear’s family from the enslavement of the kuzvoxian nanites”
Best advice ever
Just remember not to confuse them with the kuzvoxian granites, m'kay?
MAKG or the kuzvoxian ranites
YESSS!!!! EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED
The 1.7 dislikes *were* people who actually gave the polar bear a Coca Cola.
💀💀
I mean they have to be alive to dislike so...?
Best comment I've ever seen
They tried to give them Pepsi at first then later declined their Coca-Cola for their mistake of giving them the wrong beverage
now that, that was funny
Everyone knows the only rule to surviving an attack from any type of bear:
*Be faster than the person next to you*
Im fast as fuck boi
When your the fastest kid in 3rd grade
And what if you are alone 🤣🤣🤣, you'll come out as a sh*t
I have an easier way call your russian friend
😆
This is very helpful. I just survived that failed parachute and fell into some nearby trees. Turns out, that was home to some black bears. Now we are besties
no skillshare ad? the end is near.
take this course on taking over advanced alien civilization from experienced mentors like...
I thought for sure the password is password bit was going to lead to a Dashlane ad
The bears got to skillshare
no, the end is bear
@@oceangrunge7139 Password is my master password for my password manager.
i love how this slowly derails into madness
I guess he couldn't BEAR the situation!
ye
@@magicschoolbuscarlos hahaha good one
I kept thining it was finally going to go into a "Realize you have been in a fever dream in your death throws. You cannot survive the bear" thing.
Yup
This saved me, I was being attacked by a black bear so I searched this up and I found out how to escape alive. Thank you
It was very polite of the bear to wait until after you had watched the video to engage in battle. What a good guy.
Ikr! He even said GG after.
Lol
yes it was amazing
Wow! You’re able too escape alive?! I can only escape dead!
As a person who lives in Australia, I find this video extremely helpful. Next time can you make one on how to avoid falling drop bears?
“If its brown, get down
If its black, fight back
If its white...
Goodnight”
No you give it coca cola
What does the goodnight mean tho I really never understood
@@69subswithnovidsight8 it means u ded m8
@@xicarmine2701 no lol white is the polar bear and it is friendly
Alexey Alexeev lol
instructions unclear: am currently playing Russian roulette with the bear.
Did u survive
@@Arslan35 looks like he didn't ... Rip.
@@Arslan35 He did, the game finished with he and 3 bears still standing. He was then allowed into the inner circle of the bears, as a sign of respect. He’s in so deep with them now he appears like a bear to the naked eye. Upon closer inspection it can be realized he is modifying his own genetic makeup to better blend in, but he is still very much human. He will soon board the spaceship and follow through with these steps.
Did you win
Was the bear wearing an ushanka
*reads video title*
“Oh, this might come in handy one day, let’s see”
“Step 8, *_Help rescue the bear’s family from the enslavement of the Kuzvoxian Nanites”_*
“...wait wha-“
so Kuzvoxian wasnt real after all?!
that's the first one that stood out to you?
I go on interplanetary expeditions all the time, so I can relate.
Not even joking as soon as I read that he said it lol
Who said that wouldn’t come in handy? 2020 kuzvoxian invasion anyone?
I love how this is simultaneously an informational and emergency guide while also being a comedy
Step 1: Determine the type of Bear that is before you.
Step 8: Help rescue the bear’s family from the enslavement of the kuzvoxian nanites.
Step 15: Return to earth
Wait holy shit these are the actual steps used
Spilling hatred of this cannot be guaranteed to referrals
What?
Instructions unclear; bears are now invading earth
Lmao 😆 Soo useful 🤣🤣😂
Everybody gangsta untill this helps someone.
It helped me from a black bear attack
@@bloodlust_9890 really?
You sure you not dead?
@@dirkloid4261 he was never seen again
@@ripfostels242dont worry Giga chad saved him
@@bloodlust_9890 it works with grizz bear i tested it
Steps unclear, lost to the bear in a game of chess during step 8
@Naknaduvan 4they gave no response
Instuction clearly said not to use a game that is determined by mathematical prowess.
you disproved your mental capacity to the bear. good luck breaking down their economy now
Luckily the bear challenged me to Connect 4 and I won
Dude the bear challenged me to a Marathon run but the guid says not to run frome them.. Du fuk do i do.
I like how this sounds like something that actually happened and that’s how this knowledge is being fed to you because it worked for someone
*How to survive a bear attack*
Me: I don't need that.
Brain: _Just click on it..._
Me: Why?
My brain: _Just do it..._
I know I’ll probably never see a bear, but uh, just in case.
@@dignanworldchampion Justin Case: huh?
It’s a AustinMcConnel video, they’ll definitely be funny memes and jokes so definitely click the video
666 likes and *i ruined it*
Dew it.
Ask the bear these questions:
- What is Obama’s last name ?
- What is Victoria’s Secret?
- What does IDK mean?
- What is the airspeed/velocity of a sparrow?
And then it eats your head
obamas last name is care
-Care?
-Victoria dad is gone for get a milk
-I dont know
-Idk
It's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow you uncultured swine
I have the equation to find the velocity written down somewhere... I also have the African Swallow's air speed velocity written down in a different journal simply because I don't want to be sent into that damn pit
"there are no rules in bear fighting"
Ok guess i can finally use my nuclear weapons
underrated comment
@@zionj104 thank you
Pocket nuke
✨ N u k e s & B o m b s ✨
@@cosmicarchives this comment makes more sense considering you have a Klee pfp
This video goes from 0 to 100 and back to 0 and then 100 again amazingly
Fun Facts:
The reason you can't play dead with a black bear is because they are scavengers and will just eat you anyways.
Bear Spray becomes much less effective in windy and rainy conditions, noise is still the best preventative countermeasure. We would take air horns with us on surveys.
Knifes and Machetes are the best combative measure if things escalate and you aren't the team leader with the rifle. But if you don't know how to properly swing a machete it's more likely to bounce back and injure you.
A bear really needs to be in a bad spot or feel cornered to have a go at a human. Keep in mind it's likely more afraid of you and gain confidence from that.
Black mail is a dirty but effective tactic. If you can stealthily get a candid photograph of the bear in an embarrassing position, say getting slapped in the jowl by a salmon it was trying to catch, don't be afraid to use this as leverage in negotiations with the bear.
Communicate that you will broadcast the photos to the bears in the surrounding territories, so his only option is to grant you safe passage or be ostracized by the bear community. If you play your cards right you can even force the bear to become a servant under you through a honey pot scheme.
We call these Pooh Bears.
Slapped in the jowls hahahaha
Is that how the Russians recruited that one bear in ww2?
@@daslynnter9841 I think he volunteered
@@daslynnter9841do you mean to say Wojtk the polish bear?
@@FullMetalChains jokes on you he was our by far best soldier, thats what happens when ur trying to be normal Civilized European Boi but The Slavic Blood kicks im
Imagine being in the wild , and just sitting down for 5 minutes looking at this vid to know what to do , while the bear waits.
Lmaooo this sent me
That's exactly what I'm doing.
Like power rangers transformation and the bad guy has to wait
Yeah the bear is looking over my shoulder right now
I'm sure the remains of some have tried.
"How to survive a bear attack?"
Just draw a circle in the dirt...
Spongebob?
But whatever you do, _don't_ wear your sombrero in a goofy fashion...
How about for sea rhinoceros?
@@kuropy666 then you need your anti sea rhinoceros undergarments
Draw a square
0:22
"The Grizzlies are basically unstoppable, and your only chance is to play dead."
The bear be like "cool acting dude, let's make it more convincing"
I can’t believe how long it took me to figure out this is a joke
I still dont get it
KuZvOxIaN nAnItEs
I THOUGHT HE WAS SERIOUS WTF
Me too !
All the way to Step 6 I though it was gonna be like, Oh be smart and fight it in the eyes
instructions unclear: bear fell in love with me, couldn’t complete step 11
same! now i have a bear husband and a human-bear hybrid baby on the way, might name her goldilocks
The Origin Story of "My Boyfriend is a Bear"
New Step 11, break its heart. It'll have a miserabpe life after and won't bother you anymore
@@mk_rexx What if New Step 12 involves a bear stalker?
666 like wooo I did it and I've doomed myself to the same fate you behold.
*Step 69: Don't give consent to the bear. The bear can't legally kill you without your consent.*
Come on 69 likes
One like away
Step 69: Use the power of bAss to scare the bear
Fling Gonza 420
likes
Nice
I like how it starts with actual proper instructions, then devolves into nonsense
This is basically "how to basic" with a lot of intelligence.
Yes
Lavender Yie
Yeah
👌
And, don’t forget:
*Without eggs. ;)*
@@hammymajed37 exactly 😂😂😂
"Use any weapon except your fists"
*proceds to grab a tiny blade of grass*
U could also use hamon
@@basiltabaa754 Thunder cross split attack him
Illuminati Iluminado wryyyyyyyyy
@@basiltabaa754 nah just use a stand
USE LEAF BLADE
Stand straight,
Maintain eye contact,
Firm handshake.
Thats how you face a bear.
“You’re hired!”
It's actually surprisingly straightforward to take down a bear with a well-placed spear thrust. Spear hunting bears is a pretty traditional thing. I would rather not find myself in a life or death scenario, but if I had to I'd rather fight a grizzly with a spear than play dead and hope he gets bored of breaking my bones like di Caprio.
As a bear myself I feel uncomfortable how accurate this is
@CYB3R2K30 LMFAO
Same
Tomo was a bear? (Please don’t change your pfp)
Your a bear and im in Russia your my new pet :)
Hey bearsriddle me this: what is: Victoria´s secrets of Victoria´s secret
Oops! I Accidentally Became the Dictator of Rotuva Prime!: The Movie
The anime
@@gabrielsilveira8246 The video game
@@CasualSunGod42 the direct to Netflix sequel
The never ending rebooting trilogy
This really does sound like an anime adaptation from a light novel.
imagine ur in the middle of getting mauled by a bear and ur just like
"Gimme a sec i just need to watch the tutorial how to beat u"
bear: aight bro, i got u
“Understandable have a great day”
Yo dude calm down, I’m looking up boss battle guides.
Let me pause for a second.
And then watching this 😂😂
*understanding growl*
“There are no rules in bear fighting.”
So I can use my M4A1 Assault Rifle?
Bear Watching This With Me:
Me: ....
Bear: No No He's Gotta Point
Lol
Unfunny, very very unfunny ngl
@@raccoon2276 aw 😭
HAHAHA😂
Im the like number 700......so like my comment
No one:
Austin: *Bears often lack conversational discretion*
“The more you take the more you leave behind what am I?”
You’re literally anything from taco bell
This needs more likes
i thought of bags of sand with holes in them but i like your answer better
@@albertoz1 ok
I thought it was steps
@@derpydude2413 I thought it was shit.
Thanks Austin! Worked like a charm!
Plot twist They have a Grizzly Bear Running for President
I’d vote him him/her.
the hell
HIS NAME IS HAROLD!!!
There is a 00.007% that something like that would occur in a parallel universe.
His nickname is Joe Biden
Here is my guide on how too survive a bear attack
Step 1: Don't get attacked by a bear.
Saved my life since I was born
Ah yes I didn't think of that
HOW DIDNT I THINK OF THAT?
The best thing i have ever heard
My goodness why didn’t I think of that before
I came for genuine bear attack advice.
I stayed for the plot of the next Star Trek movie.
Thanks, it really helped. Still felt bad for the bear who started crying after reminding it didn't leave its family but they left it.
I was hoping this wasn’t a repeat of the skydiving video
BOY WAS I WRONG
@@tripsupstairs yeah, but it wasn't really austin mcconnell's style
How i'd become taller in this situation:
Step 1: take hoodie off
Step 2: grab long stick
Step 3: hold the hood with stick
Step 4: wave around
Step 5: make a nation with the flag design being your hoodie
Step 6: become a famous and amazing mayor of your little town
Step 7: point and laugh at the bear for being poor
You watching we bare bears?
WE BARE BEAR'S
"There are no rules in bear fighting."
-AustinMcConnell, 2019