For questions to be answered in the comments, please give a "super thanks" or head over to my website & ask there. 𝕊𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕆𝕗 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 Men's Advice Community: soa.fm Private relationship/dating coaching: soa.fm/dating-relationship-coaching/ Questions or feedback: soa.fm/contact/ ✔ SOA APPROVED COACHING PROGRAMS 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗳𝗶𝘁𝘀 How To Get A Sex Buddy: bit.ly/3Mitohu 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗿 Turn a Girl Friend into a Girlfriend: bit.ly/3Kf9EJt 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗮𝗼 𝗢𝗳 𝗕𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝘀 How To Attract ANY Woman: bit.ly/35Jyx0W 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘅 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 Get The Sex Life You Deserve: bit.ly/3K9bI5V
Polarity is the key word!!!….being masculine, leading the relationship , and keeping her in femininity will affair proof your relationship…because most guys are not doing this
I see some guys who comment in youtube videos about dating, relationships, etc argue that the reason why some relationiships last until both die ( or one of the two ) is just because of the man's capacity for providing in the material/financial area. That's a very simplistic and narrow way of thinking in my opinion. For example, empirically we see that even some very rich men cannot keep a girlfriend or wife for many years.
Yeah, a lot of men think it's all about just good looks &/or money. Those certainly help, but in order to keep a woman long term & in love with you is all about attraction. There's a lot that goes into maintaining a woman's attraction, but it's men's job to maintain the attraction & a woman's job to maintain the relationship.
Due to my jobs demands and me focusing on my purpose(career) I only see my chick one every 2 weeks or once a week and it's only for a few hours or half a day at most even when were first dating. This seems to work wonders,I never initiate contact. It's rare when I do,I give her a compliment like once a month,I never really validate her. She stays in her feminine energy,its pretty nice. I remain masculine as I can too but not over do it.
This can certainly work wonders this way, in my experiences. I was in a similar relationship where we could only see each other at least every 2 weeks...sometimes longer. I made sure she earned my heart as well. I was able to maintain a very intense attraction for years. She even told me it was like a fairy tale. Sadly, life got in the way & situations, not a lack of love or attraction, drove us apart. My only recommendation here is that you be sure that you make her feel special & appreciated when she's good to you...& be careful that you don't get complacent. It's really easy to let your guard down & get too comfortable when a woman is head over heels in love with you & regularly shows it.
Great video and I would add that, no matter how great the relationship, sometimes it just doesn't work out. I've seen it happening to others, and it's happening to me. Example: I moved with my girlfriend to a bigger city back in 2020, I landed a remote job and she opened a beauty shop, then boom... lockdowns. Two years later, every one my friends moved away, I have no hobbies, and I don't have the energy to start over in a city I'm not fond of. But, starting somewhere new would mean her closing her shop, which is her life purpose. So it's a real conundrum. We've discussed going LDR but that just feels like ending the relationship altogether.
Yes, that's true. Sadly we don't always get to be with the woman we love...& as time goes by there will be a lot of "what if" questions. I've gone through a "situational breakup", which is what this would be if it leads to a breakup. To me, they're the most painful, unfortunately...because there's no anger fueling it & you'll always wonder what it would be like if it wasn't for that one big roadblock standing in your way. I can't say what you should do here, but one thing I CAN say is that you most definitely shouldn't sacrifice your life for hers. You'll end up regretting that...even more so if the relationship doesn't work out.
@@SkillofAttraction Thanks a lot for the input! I ultimately agree, this is the hardest form of breakup because there are no culprits. But, sacrificing for others leads to what ifs, and resentment.
@@ddmozz I'm in a similar sort of thing. I live near my x....a month or so goes by, we start seeing other people, but if we bump into each other, we chat basically she pulls me back in by telling me she would rather be with me or uses sex, and the make up, breakup cycle starts. Does she really miss me that much, or it the fact she hasn't found anyone better???
@@johnmortimerjbmfitness7753 That's a tough one. I've been through something similar as well. The makeup/breakup cycle is exhausting...& personally I just couldn't break the cycle no matter what I did. I came to the conclusion that we both needed to be apart for a while so we could both heal & then maybe we could see how things go between us. However, you both could meet & get involved with other people. So, there's no way to know if/when that time will ever come. As far as her feelings being genuine or not, it's difficult to tell. It's really easy to end up being strung along & used this way. One important thing I learned when I went through this was, you can't keep giving & waiting when she's not making any significant moves towards you. It will only very slowly chip away at your self esteem & before you know it you'll find her losing respect & attraction, ultimately her moving away from you. Then you can easily become angry with yourself for investing & wasting so much time & energy. So, what I recommend that you do here is to continue meeting/dating new women & when she says these things to you, basically tell her to prove it. Figure out what you need from her in order to be convinced that she's being genuine & that she wants a future with you. Not words, but action. Then simply tell her. Just be sure to be realistic & don't ask/expect the world from her first...you both have to slowly build to giving each other so much. Essentially, you need to see some sort of rather consistent investment from her, even if it's something as minor as coming over to your house once a week...for starters. The good news is, if she's sleeping with while broken up, her attraction for you is still on the higher side. Indifference is the opposite of love, not hate.
@@SkillofAttraction she does come over, there is sex, she cooks, she says she wants all in, but she lied to me so much about smoking over xmass it's like the trust isn't there. Plus she was sorta seeing a guy online, basically telling him what he wanted to hear whilst also still wanting me.
@@SkillofAttraction I use those techniques on my wife and it really works.....women need our attention more than anything else....married for 9 years and fire definitely need air....she feed my eyes with her beauty and I fill her emotions with air, drama etc
Hey coach. I’ll try to keep this brief, but I contacted a crush I’ve had for many years and decided to shoot my shot. She had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship and I just asked to grab some lunch with her to catch up. That goes well and I eventually took her on 3-4 additional dates and the vibe was there, had a great connection. Long story short, she texted me saying she appreciated the effort I put into seeing her and had fun on our dates but thought it wasn’t a good idea for us to be hanging out anymore Since she just got out of a relationship she needed to heal on her own and wanted to remain friends. I responded by saying “hey it’s all good, just let me know when you want to hang out again” I really like this girl and hope she hits me back up, but I’ve been doing my best to just focus on myself and been hitting the gym lately. (Implementing no contact). Btw, she reached out and wished a happy bday a couple days ago and replied thank you. Her bday is coming up soon so I just think it’d be disrespectful to not wish her the same. Let me know your thoughts, thanks!
It's difficult to say what the motivation behind this is...it certainly could be exactly what she said, as many people who are healing from a breakup don't want to get too attached to anyone. This is actually good for you too. The last thing you want is to get involved with a woman who is still thinking of their ex & healing...it's an emotional roller coaster to get involved with someone like that. You're did/doing all that you can do for now. I feel that, considering her reasoning, it would be okay to wish her a happy birthday, especially since she wished you one. Normally you don't want to contact someone who friend zoned you for any reason, but if her reasoning is legit then you're right, it would be rude. Just be sure that you don't try to get more conversation out of her. If she asks about you or something similar, then it's fine. But you don't want to use situations like this to get attention from her. if she offers it, then it's different.
My GF of 4 Years and I Broke up 10 Days ago after I felt her becoming less attracted over the last six weeks. I asked what was wrong and she said she lost feelings, so I left (ended it) and told her to contact me if she misses me. I was trying to salvage the attraction by walking away. I went no contact straight away, and she reached out yesterday saying she wanted to return my things (it was only a few tshirts) so I thought she just wanted to see me. I had her come to my place at 8 pm. I realized soon that she didn’t come to reconcile and she said she has never really been single since she was 16 and now at 23 feels like she needs to go her own way for a bit. She was crying and it was difficult we hugged a lot. I told her I accept it and understand wanting to be alone for once. I will move on and not contact her at all. This situation seems very final to me, because the wish to be single will not go away until she has the chance to live it. Is this just an age thing, something she has to have for a while? Or can this change
You did the right thing by ending it when you did. I talk about something similar in this video: ruclips.net/video/rIDJDFQc32Q/видео.html You'll never be able to talk her into having different feelings & you're right, you want to salvage her attraction as much as you can. If you hung in there & tried to prove yourself she would've only lost more attraction. Most likely there's still some attraction there, but she needs some time & space to let it rise again. Yes, she may need some time to experience life without you...that's not completely uncommon, especially for someone who has been in relationships for 7 years straight, since she was just a teenager. The truth is, if she truly loves you she'll be back at some point. I can't say when that would be, or if it'll happen, but chances are she will be back. In the meantime, don't wait for her & hold onto hope...that's only prolonging the pain & keeping you unattractive. Go live life, focus on building your value as a man, be social with friends, meet/date new women. This will make the grief a little easier & you'll actually be making yourself more attractive this way.
@@SkillofAttraction thank you for the comment. She definitely once truly loved me but now she obviously doesn’t anymore. I just don’t understand why she was crying and hugging me, when I’ve dumped someone in the past I never wanted to hug them & just wanted to leave as soon as possible. Even when thinks were perfect in the relationship she always said her biggest fear is that the relationship ends when she is thirty and she would have never figured out how to live by herself like her parents. She said she hates herself for having those thoughts and wishes she didn’t have them.
@@SkillofAttraction the most confusing thing is, that I am on my purpose and just 2 weeks ago finally got a big investment into my startup which allows me to work on it full time. She is not interested in money since her dad is super rich and she is kind of ashamed of that. But you would thing she wouldn’t want to miss out on that potential
@@fooshoo2006 The hugs & crying simply means that she DOES love you, but at least in this moment, she's not feeling the attraction (ie: not IN love with you). The good news is, her feelings can easily change if you handle it correctly. While there's never a guarantee of that, it's your best strategy to let her go & move on. This makes you extra attractive, as long as you don't cave-in to your own sadness & anxiety. It tells her that you're strong & confident (2 traits all women crave in a man). I can't say exactly why she lost feelings, but I would say that it's not the reason that she's saying, as most women don't understand why they feel attraction for a man or not. Going through some of my videos may help you understand why it happened so you can fix that issue moving forward. Besides that, just stay in no contact, focus on your startup (be sure not to let this breakup distract you...try to save your grieving for after the work day), pursue your health/fitness (body, mind, spirit), & build/maintain your social circle...including meeting/dating new women. If this is your first breakup, the chances of her coming back are quite high (but not guaranteed)...especially after 4 years together. She has an emotional bond to you & walking away from that will not be easy for either.
Hi Eric thank u for the awsome and insightful videos, keep up the good work. I got a situation. my gf's mom recently died. since then she has gone cold, distant, and her attraction dropt significantly to the point that we broke up. she contacted me afterwords twice beggin to get back together and so I did. however she still has the same attitude. it's worth mentioning that, first, we have been together for almost 2 years. however, she pulled away and stopped contact on multiple times just to come back again. second, after we got back together. she suspects, but never confronted me, that I'm talkin' to someone else, which causes her to pull even further. I followed your tip they helped me a lot. but this time I don't think we gonna make it. what r you're thoughts
First, it's important to understand that women are lead my their current emotional state, which is always in flux. In other words, whatever she's feeling in the moment, she will act on that. They have little control over this. So, her being distant due to grieving the death of her mother is not uncommon. If her distance is only because of this, then it's not so much that her attraction dropped, but you are not the number one priority emotionally at this point. My recommendation is that you give her a little break while she grieves & try not to take it personally. The fact that she has chased you back into a relationship numerous times tells me that she does love & want to be with you. Keep up with the masculine role & continue leading this relationship. When she acts distant, then mirror that until she's not distant any longer. It's actually a bit of a bonus that she suspects that there may be someone else. She only pulls away about this issue because she's looking for reassurance. Give her a little reassurance with a kiss or hug, but don't explain yourself...let there be a little mystery between you two.
@@SkillofAttraction thank u so much coach your tips are very insightful they actually changed my game. much appreciated man keep up the good work you're helpin' a lot of ppl.
This stuff is scary especially since the girl I've been dating has been consistent, she seems to have a routine with very few and close friends, two jobs and a traditional family ( Italian ) our weekly dates I think are exciting is probably boring her but I told her I'm just as busy , so is it safe to assume this isn't possible? Are ltr's just thinks they dream about but can't actually have ?
Well, if you're both busy, then you're both busy. I once had a girlfriend that I only saw appx once every two weeks...sometimes longer due to both of us being so busy(she had children as well), & our relationship was very fulfilling & intense. I suspect it was more intense than it usually would be, because we didn't get to see each other much. So, when we did see each other we made the best of it...we'd always do something fun & relatively out of the ordinary (rarely did we just go to dinner), we had lots & lots of sex every time we got together, just spent quality time when we had the opportunity. This went on for years & only ended due to outside situational forces that were out of our control. My point being; you can have fulfilling LTR with busy schedules & without being together all the time.
I think a design with your Logo with (SOA) would be a nice shirt design. Or just the logo. If interested I do graphic design, specifically logo design. Always great videos, you’ve helped me through a lot of low moments in my life in unsuccessful relationship.
Thanks for the feedback! I do have one with just a logo on the pocket area. I'll be adding "SOA" to new designs coming up, as I'm going to be doing some rebranding very soon.
Hey coach, I’ll try to make this short but my LDR girlfriend of 4 years recently broke up with me. Her reasonings was 1. She love me more than herself (basically doesn’t love herself enough), 2. Her mental health has been dropping. It’s obvious her and I both really love each other, still want to be together, but she feels like it’s going to hurt us both in the long run if we stayed. She told me she wants to try and work on herself and get her life together before her and I be together again. Truly I don’t know what to do at the moment. So far I’m giving her, her space, time, any help she needs (like a shoulder to cry on), and being patient. I’ll admit I’m guilty on saying her and I do almost everything together so it’s hard to try and distract myself because everything reminds me of her so I’m breaking down silently. What do I do? What advice can I give her to encourage her to love herself?
Giving her space is the best thing for now. Encourage her to work on herself. However, I highly recommend that you do not be her shoulder to cry on...this will work against you, because you're acting more like a friend than her lover. It's counterintuitive, but this is the way to the friend zone. It can be difficult to NOT be there for her in this way when you love her, but I've made this mistake before & there was no way back to "lover" status...she didn't see me that way anymore. She only saw me as a non-sexual friend...it killed the mystery & the tension between us. Instead, when she wants to talk to you about this stuff, listen a bit but encourage her to get help...or tell her that she should be talking about this stuff with a professional.
@@SkillofAttraction It’s really difficult. There’s more to the story but a little part of the reason for the breakup was because I “broke up” with her for the very first time and she was telling me how paranoid she was since again- it was the first time. (She’s broken up with me a few times over things we had to fix, we got back together barley a few days later). I “broke up” with her because I was not okay mentally at that moment and thought so negative and was at a really low point. I didn’t want to breakup but I was so out of it that instead of an “I need space” I mentioned breakup and things got twisted..She knows I didn’t mean it, knows I’m horrible at communication when it comes to my emotions. I did clear that situation up with her. Mainly her mental health is just not okay. The parts that got me confused is if it’s an official breakup or just one big space until she gets better..She’s called me “babe and baby” a little after her breaking up with me, said she still in love with me, I was her first love and first love doesn’t go away, doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, I passed her expectations on love, wants to stay as friends since I “broke up” with her, say we probably will get back together..As of right now we’re friends but with heavy hearts for each other..
@@ryryg.3246 You don't want to put yourself in a position where you're "just friends", because she will begin to see you as "just a friend". Plus women instinctively understand that high value men wouldn't accept being friends with a woman who he has romantic/sexual feelings for. It's just breadcrumbs when you deserve the steak dinner. Don't be combative about it though...just tell her what you want & if she's not ready for that, then tell her to get in touch when/if she is ready.
@@SkillofAttraction Okay, thank you Coach, I have one more question, when she’s having a conversation with me, do I try to keep it light/fun? Because she feels as though it’s her fault which yeah I’m hurt and all, but she is too and when it comes to mental health nobody is at fault because you can’t control it. You can try and help your mental but can’t fully control
@@ryryg.3246 Yes, you want to try & keep the mood light & fun as best you can. As the man, you set the tone for the interaction & stand your ground. in other words, if she tries to change the tone, you want to keep yours. If she trusts your leadership, she will submit...but perhaps not before she tests your strength in keeping the tone that you want.
Hi, I have question about a certain woman, she knows me by face, because i usually approach her in the bank, whenever i need something. I began to notice her also, and i wanted to get to know her. So in the last two months i began to stare at her whenever im in the bank, even though im not approaching. Do you think somehow she notice im always staring at her? Do women sense something about my action towards her?
She certainly can sense it to some degree, but it's difficult to know if she's consciously aware of it. But if she does know, it's only hurting you that you don't pull the trigger & ask her out, or get her number. A really cool, confident way to get a girl's number is to open up a blank contact on your phone, hand it to her, & tell her (don't ask) to add her number. Most women are so surprised & caught off-guard they don't know what to do besides type in their number. However, if you keep hesitating she will eventually just come to the conclusion that you don't have the guts to make something happen. Next time you see/talk to her, don't think about it...just act. If you think about it too much you'll talk yourself out of it. So, stay out of your head & follow what your heart wants....your heart knows.
@@SkillofAttraction There are three incident i notice with her when I was there, 1. I keep on staring at her while im sitting far from her and then when I about to stand up to leave, she quickly stand up and ask me, "yes sir?" She think im about to approach her and I ask something. 2. The other time i was in the bank I applied for credit card features, which she is always the one who assist me with it before, but this time around she didnt report to work, the bank manager the one who assist me with it, but i find it weird that, the bank manager keep on saying but in not my face or not directly towards me, "oh tough luck she is not around today" . 3. I went to the bank to pay my credit card bills, i press some buttons in the machine and wait my turn to be called, i went over the teller once my turn is called. The teller told me you press the wrong buttons in the machine, you should have press the other buttons and the teller said just it write down your credit card no.in the paper and next time press the correct buttons. And then i saw her in the machine trying to tell me, this button you should have press when paying your credit card.
@@johnlaurencechan3035 It's difficult to know what any of those means, if they mean anything. There's nothing concrete that would tell you one thing or another. It could all be a coincidence. The only way to know for sure if she's interested is if she tells you (the chances of that happening are very slim) or she agrees to a date. However, there are some signs she may give you if she feels attraction for you. They call these "IOIs" (indicators of interest). I made a video about some of the more common signs: ruclips.net/video/VtTqpJQ2Kjc/видео.html
Hi Eric , do you have video on why woman leave man who facing major crisis. how to keep Attraction alive when a man loss their job or loss their family member, the women left the Long term relationship in bad times when a man failed and became emotional due to setbacks and as we get older, how will attraction grow in space and how to be remain alpha in times of life challenges
Because all women are naturally solipsistic. It's part of their DNA. It seems very selfish to us, but they're basically looking out for themselves...& oftentimes they're ruthless about it. I don't know the details of your situation, besides that you lost your sister. If you were giving a majority of your attention to your sister, most likely your girl felt neglected. I've coached several men who have been through a very similar situation, where their girl left them because the man's attention was on a dying family member & not taking her into consideration. Women expect men to compartmentalize those situations & still make time for her.
Hi coach! I have this girlfriend working with me in the same school. She is the manager of school. I am working in this school as a French teacher. Recently, I feel I lost some interest in my job due to some stress at home. But I still make some efforts. Do you think this situation has to do with losing interest and attraction when these men couldn't give fruitful results to students or parents give bad feedback about me? Thanks
Hey coach, so I got a question Been in LDR with this girl for a while now and things have been going go great until recently, she says that she's been depressed about stuff going on in her life and I've been trying to support her and give her space and all that but then everytime I try to ask what's going on, she doesn't want to tell me and recently she's been acting all hot and cold... And I can't place if she's acting this way cause she's depressed or something else is going on... I've tried to ask her twice about why she's been off but she just waves it off... Even how she chats is off sometimes... That whole enthusiasm isn't there and it feels like she just replies for the sake of replying cause she drops all one words to my full sentences or just drops an emoji, I called her out on it in a conversation we had yesterday and asked her if she wasn't in the mood to chat, she acted like she didn't know what I meant and I pointed out how her replies were short then she proceeded to say "sorry, let me retext... I'm eating".. Then she replied with more enthusiasm but it just fake or forced, later that day she got all cold again and I decided to mirror, today she comes out with so much energy and calling me and dropping so many messages and being all enthusiastic but my gut still isn't right... We were supposed to have our first date Tuesday next week and see eachother for the first time but I'm wondering whether to go ahead with the date or cancel... Normally I was super happy and looking forward to it but the way she's been acting I don't want to end up being all passive aggressive or acting weird cause of her behavior... I don't know whether to cancel or just muster what ever positive energy I can to have fun
Please keep questions in the comments much shorter. I answer quick questions in the comments as a courtesy. It's important to understand that women follow their emotions. So, whatever her current emotional state is, she will act on that no matter how she was behaving the day before. It's very possible that she's behaving this way due to depression or it could be that her attraction for you has dropped temporarily...or a combination of both. However, look how she responded to you mirroring her low energy & lack of enthusiasm. So, I recommend that when she's behaving with little enthusiasm that you mirror her effort until she begins to invest emotionally again. I'm not suggesting that you also be low energy, but mirror her effort. When she begins to invest again, then take the lead to where you want the conversation or interaction to go. I wouldn't cancel the date. Just go & focus on having fun regardless of how she's showing up. When I say men must lead, you must lead emotionally as well.
@@SkillofAttraction Thanks so much Eric, I ended up taking your advice and went for the date despite how seemingly off and interested she was about and we ended up having an absolute blast... We went to the movie theater and even made out for a while and over all just enjoyed ourselves... Managed to talk to her too and apparently it seems she's just been really down.. Even without her telling me I could see she was kinda not totally herself... She said her social bar was just low and wasn't feeling too into people, I figure I'll just give her some space to get herself together tho not gonna lie.... I really do want to talk to her more than ever but I'm controlling that urge but in general I just feel more secure about the relationship and it's thanks to you... Legit can't believe I almost canceled 😅😅💔
@@carlosroy2808 That's fantastic! The lesson here is that it's important to not allow your emotions to get the best of you...& however she's behaving in the moment can easily change in the next moment. Emotions change like the wind...especially for women. You can try to get her to open up to you...just encourage her to talk to you (& if she does, be sure to just listen & not give out advice...unless she asks).
Coach do you also worry in this day and age of sexual assault that someday one of the women you were with will turn on you and throw some allergations your way? Seeing that you are kind of a celebrity yourself, don't you fear that one day one of your exes will see your channel and use it against you? The reason why I'm bringing this up is that I am seeing some artists these days being put under fire because they asked a girl if she had a boyfriend or that they asked their ex-spouce for some sexual acts which they refused to do but are shamed for asking it in the first place.
Of course there's always at least a little concern about that, but it's not really something that keeps me up at night. One thing that will really help with this is knowing how to read her signals, whether her signals are to keep going or that she wants you to stop. If a girl is showing resistance, even if she's not saying no, it's a good idea to stop...or at least make sure she's okay before continuing. Also, don't take advantage if she's incoherently drunk or high. When you're escalating physically you want to look for the signs that she's giving you the green light...she won't resist, she'll be rather enthusiastic & reciprocate your touching, kissing, etc. Also keep in mind that a large majority of women would never even think of falsely accusing a man.
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Polarity is the key word!!!….being masculine, leading the relationship , and keeping her in femininity will affair proof your relationship…because most guys are not doing this
Absolutely! Polarity is what creates the tension, & ultimately the passion.
..... I don't give a damn if it was out of focus Erik! the message is great! Grazie Signore!
Thanks man! I can't see myself when I'm shooting, so on the very rare occasions it's out of focus I don't see it until I'm in editing.
@@SkillofAttraction oh boy.
I see some guys who comment in youtube videos about dating, relationships, etc argue that the reason why some relationiships last until both die ( or one of the two ) is just because of the man's capacity for providing in the material/financial area.
That's a very simplistic and narrow way of thinking in my opinion.
For example, empirically we see that even some very rich men cannot keep a girlfriend or wife for many years.
Yeah, a lot of men think it's all about just good looks &/or money. Those certainly help, but in order to keep a woman long term & in love with you is all about attraction. There's a lot that goes into maintaining a woman's attraction, but it's men's job to maintain the attraction & a woman's job to maintain the relationship.
Due to my jobs demands and me focusing on my purpose(career) I only see my chick one every 2 weeks or once a week and it's only for a few hours or half a day at most even when were first dating. This seems to work wonders,I never initiate contact. It's rare when I do,I give her a compliment like once a month,I never really validate her. She stays in her feminine energy,its pretty nice. I remain masculine as I can too but not over do it.
This can certainly work wonders this way, in my experiences. I was in a similar relationship where we could only see each other at least every 2 weeks...sometimes longer. I made sure she earned my heart as well. I was able to maintain a very intense attraction for years. She even told me it was like a fairy tale. Sadly, life got in the way & situations, not a lack of love or attraction, drove us apart. My only recommendation here is that you be sure that you make her feel special & appreciated when she's good to you...& be careful that you don't get complacent. It's really easy to let your guard down & get too comfortable when a woman is head over heels in love with you & regularly shows it.
Great video and I would add that, no matter how great the relationship, sometimes it just doesn't work out. I've seen it happening to others, and it's happening to me.
Example: I moved with my girlfriend to a bigger city back in 2020, I landed a remote job and she opened a beauty shop, then boom... lockdowns. Two years later, every one my friends moved away, I have no hobbies, and I don't have the energy to start over in a city I'm not fond of. But, starting somewhere new would mean her closing her shop, which is her life purpose. So it's a real conundrum. We've discussed going LDR but that just feels like ending the relationship altogether.
Yes, that's true. Sadly we don't always get to be with the woman we love...& as time goes by there will be a lot of "what if" questions. I've gone through a "situational breakup", which is what this would be if it leads to a breakup. To me, they're the most painful, unfortunately...because there's no anger fueling it & you'll always wonder what it would be like if it wasn't for that one big roadblock standing in your way. I can't say what you should do here, but one thing I CAN say is that you most definitely shouldn't sacrifice your life for hers. You'll end up regretting that...even more so if the relationship doesn't work out.
@@SkillofAttraction Thanks a lot for the input! I ultimately agree, this is the hardest form of breakup because there are no culprits. But, sacrificing for others leads to what ifs, and resentment.
@@ddmozz I'm in a similar sort of thing. I live near my x....a month or so goes by, we start seeing other people, but if we bump into each other, we chat basically she pulls me back in by telling me she would rather be with me or uses sex, and the make up, breakup cycle starts. Does she really miss me that much, or it the fact she hasn't found anyone better???
@@johnmortimerjbmfitness7753 That's a tough one. I've been through something similar as well. The makeup/breakup cycle is exhausting...& personally I just couldn't break the cycle no matter what I did. I came to the conclusion that we both needed to be apart for a while so we could both heal & then maybe we could see how things go between us. However, you both could meet & get involved with other people. So, there's no way to know if/when that time will ever come. As far as her feelings being genuine or not, it's difficult to tell. It's really easy to end up being strung along & used this way. One important thing I learned when I went through this was, you can't keep giving & waiting when she's not making any significant moves towards you. It will only very slowly chip away at your self esteem & before you know it you'll find her losing respect & attraction, ultimately her moving away from you. Then you can easily become angry with yourself for investing & wasting so much time & energy. So, what I recommend that you do here is to continue meeting/dating new women & when she says these things to you, basically tell her to prove it. Figure out what you need from her in order to be convinced that she's being genuine & that she wants a future with you. Not words, but action. Then simply tell her. Just be sure to be realistic & don't ask/expect the world from her first...you both have to slowly build to giving each other so much. Essentially, you need to see some sort of rather consistent investment from her, even if it's something as minor as coming over to your house once a week...for starters. The good news is, if she's sleeping with while broken up, her attraction for you is still on the higher side. Indifference is the opposite of love, not hate.
@@SkillofAttraction she does come over, there is sex, she cooks, she says she wants all in, but she lied to me so much about smoking over xmass it's like the trust isn't there. Plus she was sorta seeing a guy online, basically telling him what he wanted to hear whilst also still wanting me.
You are the best relationship adviser.....i swear lol ha...keep doing what you doing...
Why, thank you, sir! Glad you're finding my videos helpful!
@@SkillofAttraction I use those techniques on my wife and it really works.....women need our attention more than anything else....married for 9 years and fire definitely need air....she feed my eyes with her beauty and I fill her emotions with air, drama etc
Hey coach. I’ll try to keep this brief, but I contacted a crush I’ve had for many years and decided to shoot my shot. She had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship and I just asked to grab some lunch with her to catch up. That goes well and I eventually took her on 3-4 additional dates and the vibe was there, had a great connection. Long story short, she texted me saying she appreciated the effort I put into seeing her and had fun on our dates but thought it wasn’t a good idea for us to be hanging out anymore Since she just got out of a relationship she needed to heal on her own and wanted to remain friends. I responded by saying “hey it’s all good, just let me know when you want to hang out again”
I really like this girl and hope she hits me back up, but I’ve been doing my best to just focus on myself and been hitting the gym lately. (Implementing no contact).
Btw, she reached out and wished a happy bday a couple days ago and replied thank you. Her bday is coming up soon so I just think it’d be disrespectful to not wish her the same. Let me know your thoughts, thanks!
It's difficult to say what the motivation behind this is...it certainly could be exactly what she said, as many people who are healing from a breakup don't want to get too attached to anyone. This is actually good for you too. The last thing you want is to get involved with a woman who is still thinking of their ex & healing...it's an emotional roller coaster to get involved with someone like that. You're did/doing all that you can do for now. I feel that, considering her reasoning, it would be okay to wish her a happy birthday, especially since she wished you one. Normally you don't want to contact someone who friend zoned you for any reason, but if her reasoning is legit then you're right, it would be rude. Just be sure that you don't try to get more conversation out of her. If she asks about you or something similar, then it's fine. But you don't want to use situations like this to get attention from her. if she offers it, then it's different.
@@SkillofAttraction cool thank you.
My GF of 4 Years and I Broke up 10 Days ago after I felt her becoming less attracted over the last six weeks. I asked what was wrong and she said she lost feelings, so I left (ended it) and told her to contact me if she misses me. I was trying to salvage the attraction by walking away. I went no contact straight away, and she reached out yesterday saying she wanted to return my things (it was only a few tshirts) so I thought she just wanted to see me. I had her come to my place at 8 pm. I realized soon that she didn’t come to reconcile and she said she has never really been single since she was 16 and now at 23 feels like she needs to go her own way for a bit. She was crying and it was difficult we hugged a lot. I told her I accept it and understand wanting to be alone for once. I will move on and not contact her at all. This situation seems very final to me, because the wish to be single will not go away until she has the chance to live it. Is this just an age thing, something she has to have for a while? Or can this change
You did the right thing by ending it when you did. I talk about something similar in this video: ruclips.net/video/rIDJDFQc32Q/видео.html You'll never be able to talk her into having different feelings & you're right, you want to salvage her attraction as much as you can. If you hung in there & tried to prove yourself she would've only lost more attraction. Most likely there's still some attraction there, but she needs some time & space to let it rise again. Yes, she may need some time to experience life without you...that's not completely uncommon, especially for someone who has been in relationships for 7 years straight, since she was just a teenager. The truth is, if she truly loves you she'll be back at some point. I can't say when that would be, or if it'll happen, but chances are she will be back. In the meantime, don't wait for her & hold onto hope...that's only prolonging the pain & keeping you unattractive. Go live life, focus on building your value as a man, be social with friends, meet/date new women. This will make the grief a little easier & you'll actually be making yourself more attractive this way.
@@SkillofAttraction thank you for the comment. She definitely once truly loved me but now she obviously doesn’t anymore. I just don’t understand why she was crying and hugging me, when I’ve dumped someone in the past I never wanted to hug them & just wanted to leave as soon as possible. Even when thinks were perfect in the relationship she always said her biggest fear is that the relationship ends when she is thirty and she would have never figured out how to live by herself like her parents. She said she hates herself for having those thoughts and wishes she didn’t have them.
@@SkillofAttraction the most confusing thing is, that I am on my purpose and just 2 weeks ago finally got a big investment into my startup which allows me to work on it full time. She is not interested in money since her dad is super rich and she is kind of ashamed of that. But you would thing she wouldn’t want to miss out on that potential
@@fooshoo2006 The hugs & crying simply means that she DOES love you, but at least in this moment, she's not feeling the attraction (ie: not IN love with you). The good news is, her feelings can easily change if you handle it correctly. While there's never a guarantee of that, it's your best strategy to let her go & move on. This makes you extra attractive, as long as you don't cave-in to your own sadness & anxiety. It tells her that you're strong & confident (2 traits all women crave in a man). I can't say exactly why she lost feelings, but I would say that it's not the reason that she's saying, as most women don't understand why they feel attraction for a man or not. Going through some of my videos may help you understand why it happened so you can fix that issue moving forward. Besides that, just stay in no contact, focus on your startup (be sure not to let this breakup distract you...try to save your grieving for after the work day), pursue your health/fitness (body, mind, spirit), & build/maintain your social circle...including meeting/dating new women. If this is your first breakup, the chances of her coming back are quite high (but not guaranteed)...especially after 4 years together. She has an emotional bond to you & walking away from that will not be easy for either.
@@SkillofAttraction you are appreciated! Thank you. I will book a zoom meeting if I need help these next few days/weeks
Hi Eric thank u for the awsome and insightful videos, keep up the good work.
I got a situation. my gf's mom recently died. since then she has gone cold, distant, and her attraction dropt significantly to the point that we broke up. she contacted me afterwords twice beggin to get back together and so I did. however she still has the same attitude. it's worth mentioning that, first, we have been together for almost 2 years. however, she pulled away and stopped contact on multiple times just to come back again. second, after we got back together. she suspects, but never confronted me, that I'm talkin' to someone else, which causes her to pull even further. I followed your tip they helped me a lot. but this time I don't think we gonna make it. what r you're thoughts
First, it's important to understand that women are lead my their current emotional state, which is always in flux. In other words, whatever she's feeling in the moment, she will act on that. They have little control over this. So, her being distant due to grieving the death of her mother is not uncommon. If her distance is only because of this, then it's not so much that her attraction dropped, but you are not the number one priority emotionally at this point. My recommendation is that you give her a little break while she grieves & try not to take it personally. The fact that she has chased you back into a relationship numerous times tells me that she does love & want to be with you. Keep up with the masculine role & continue leading this relationship. When she acts distant, then mirror that until she's not distant any longer. It's actually a bit of a bonus that she suspects that there may be someone else. She only pulls away about this issue because she's looking for reassurance. Give her a little reassurance with a kiss or hug, but don't explain yourself...let there be a little mystery between you two.
@@SkillofAttraction thank u so much coach your tips are very insightful they actually changed my game. much appreciated man keep up the good work you're helpin' a lot of ppl.
@@anassaadani3118 Thanks, man! And good luck! Stay strong!
This stuff is scary especially since the girl I've been dating has been consistent, she seems to have a routine with very few and close friends, two jobs and a traditional family ( Italian ) our weekly dates I think are exciting is probably boring her but I told her I'm just as busy , so is it safe to assume this isn't possible? Are ltr's just thinks they dream about but can't actually have ?
Well, if you're both busy, then you're both busy. I once had a girlfriend that I only saw appx once every two weeks...sometimes longer due to both of us being so busy(she had children as well), & our relationship was very fulfilling & intense. I suspect it was more intense than it usually would be, because we didn't get to see each other much. So, when we did see each other we made the best of it...we'd always do something fun & relatively out of the ordinary (rarely did we just go to dinner), we had lots & lots of sex every time we got together, just spent quality time when we had the opportunity. This went on for years & only ended due to outside situational forces that were out of our control. My point being; you can have fulfilling LTR with busy schedules & without being together all the time.
I think a design with your Logo with (SOA) would be a nice shirt design. Or just the logo. If interested I do graphic design, specifically logo design. Always great videos, you’ve helped me through a lot of low moments in my life in unsuccessful relationship.
Thanks for the feedback! I do have one with just a logo on the pocket area. I'll be adding "SOA" to new designs coming up, as I'm going to be doing some rebranding very soon.
SOA stands for STD in my language (Dutch) 🥲
@@hoidoei941 😂
Hey coach, I’ll try to make this short but my LDR girlfriend of 4 years recently broke up with me. Her reasonings was 1. She love me more than herself (basically doesn’t love herself enough), 2. Her mental health has been dropping. It’s obvious her and I both really love each other, still want to be together, but she feels like it’s going to hurt us both in the long run if we stayed. She told me she wants to try and work on herself and get her life together before her and I be together again. Truly I don’t know what to do at the moment. So far I’m giving her, her space, time, any help she needs (like a shoulder to cry on), and being patient. I’ll admit I’m guilty on saying her and I do almost everything together so it’s hard to try and distract myself because everything reminds me of her so I’m breaking down silently.
What do I do? What advice can I give her to encourage her to love herself?
Giving her space is the best thing for now. Encourage her to work on herself. However, I highly recommend that you do not be her shoulder to cry on...this will work against you, because you're acting more like a friend than her lover. It's counterintuitive, but this is the way to the friend zone. It can be difficult to NOT be there for her in this way when you love her, but I've made this mistake before & there was no way back to "lover" status...she didn't see me that way anymore. She only saw me as a non-sexual friend...it killed the mystery & the tension between us. Instead, when she wants to talk to you about this stuff, listen a bit but encourage her to get help...or tell her that she should be talking about this stuff with a professional.
@@SkillofAttraction It’s really difficult. There’s more to the story but a little part of the reason for the breakup was because I “broke up” with her for the very first time and she was telling me how paranoid she was since again- it was the first time. (She’s broken up with me a few times over things we had to fix, we got back together barley a few days later). I “broke up” with her because I was not okay mentally at that moment and thought so negative and was at a really low point. I didn’t want to breakup but I was so out of it that instead of an “I need space” I mentioned breakup and things got twisted..She knows I didn’t mean it, knows I’m horrible at communication when it comes to my emotions. I did clear that situation up with her. Mainly her mental health is just not okay. The parts that got me confused is if it’s an official breakup or just one big space until she gets better..She’s called me “babe and baby” a little after her breaking up with me, said she still in love with me, I was her first love and first love doesn’t go away, doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me, I passed her expectations on love, wants to stay as friends since I “broke up” with her, say we probably will get back together..As of right now we’re friends but with heavy hearts for each other..
@@ryryg.3246 You don't want to put yourself in a position where you're "just friends", because she will begin to see you as "just a friend". Plus women instinctively understand that high value men wouldn't accept being friends with a woman who he has romantic/sexual feelings for. It's just breadcrumbs when you deserve the steak dinner. Don't be combative about it though...just tell her what you want & if she's not ready for that, then tell her to get in touch when/if she is ready.
@@SkillofAttraction Okay, thank you Coach, I have one more question, when she’s having a conversation with me, do I try to keep it light/fun? Because she feels as though it’s her fault which yeah I’m hurt and all, but she is too and when it comes to mental health nobody is at fault because you can’t control it. You can try and help your mental but can’t fully control
@@ryryg.3246 Yes, you want to try & keep the mood light & fun as best you can. As the man, you set the tone for the interaction & stand your ground. in other words, if she tries to change the tone, you want to keep yours. If she trusts your leadership, she will submit...but perhaps not before she tests your strength in keeping the tone that you want.
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Hi,
I have question about a certain woman, she knows me by face, because i usually approach her in the bank, whenever i need something. I began to notice her also, and i wanted to get to know her. So in the last two months i began to stare at her whenever im in the bank, even though im not approaching. Do you think somehow she notice im always staring at her? Do women sense something about my action towards her?
She certainly can sense it to some degree, but it's difficult to know if she's consciously aware of it. But if she does know, it's only hurting you that you don't pull the trigger & ask her out, or get her number. A really cool, confident way to get a girl's number is to open up a blank contact on your phone, hand it to her, & tell her (don't ask) to add her number. Most women are so surprised & caught off-guard they don't know what to do besides type in their number. However, if you keep hesitating she will eventually just come to the conclusion that you don't have the guts to make something happen. Next time you see/talk to her, don't think about it...just act. If you think about it too much you'll talk yourself out of it. So, stay out of your head & follow what your heart wants....your heart knows.
@@SkillofAttraction There are three incident i notice with her when I was there, 1. I keep on staring at her while im sitting far from her and then when I about to stand up to leave, she quickly stand up and ask me, "yes sir?" She think im about to approach her and I ask something. 2. The other time i was in the bank I applied for credit card features, which she is always the one who assist me with it before, but this time around she didnt report to work, the bank manager the one who assist me with it, but i find it weird that, the bank manager keep on saying but in not my face or not directly towards me, "oh tough luck she is not around today" . 3. I went to the bank to pay my credit card bills, i press some buttons in the machine and wait my turn to be called, i went over the teller once my turn is called. The teller told me you press the wrong buttons in the machine, you should have press the other buttons and the teller said just it write down your credit card no.in the paper and next time press the correct buttons. And then i saw her in the machine trying to tell me, this button you should have press when paying your credit card.
What do you think about this indicent? Does she knows Im interested on her?
@@johnlaurencechan3035 It's difficult to know what any of those means, if they mean anything. There's nothing concrete that would tell you one thing or another. It could all be a coincidence. The only way to know for sure if she's interested is if she tells you (the chances of that happening are very slim) or she agrees to a date. However, there are some signs she may give you if she feels attraction for you. They call these "IOIs" (indicators of interest). I made a video about some of the more common signs: ruclips.net/video/VtTqpJQ2Kjc/видео.html
Hi Eric , do you have video on why woman leave man who facing major crisis. how to keep Attraction alive when a man loss their job or loss their family member, the women left the Long term relationship in bad times when a man failed and became emotional due to setbacks and as we get older, how will attraction grow in space and how to be remain alpha in times of life challenges
Because all women are naturally solipsistic. It's part of their DNA. It seems very selfish to us, but they're basically looking out for themselves...& oftentimes they're ruthless about it. I don't know the details of your situation, besides that you lost your sister. If you were giving a majority of your attention to your sister, most likely your girl felt neglected. I've coached several men who have been through a very similar situation, where their girl left them because the man's attention was on a dying family member & not taking her into consideration. Women expect men to compartmentalize those situations & still make time for her.
Hi coach!
I have this girlfriend working with me in the same school. She is the manager of school. I am working in this school as a French teacher.
Recently, I feel I lost some interest in my job due to some stress at home. But I still make some efforts. Do you think this situation has to do with losing interest and attraction when these men couldn't give fruitful results to students or parents give bad feedback about me?
Thanks
I'm not clear about what you're asking me.
Hey coach, so I got a question
Been in LDR with this girl for a while now and things have been going go great until recently, she says that she's been depressed about stuff going on in her life and I've been trying to support her and give her space and all that but then everytime I try to ask what's going on, she doesn't want to tell me and recently she's been acting all hot and cold... And I can't place if she's acting this way cause she's depressed or something else is going on... I've tried to ask her twice about why she's been off but she just waves it off... Even how she chats is off sometimes... That whole enthusiasm isn't there and it feels like she just replies for the sake of replying cause she drops all one words to my full sentences or just drops an emoji, I called her out on it in a conversation we had yesterday and asked her if she wasn't in the mood to chat, she acted like she didn't know what I meant and I pointed out how her replies were short then she proceeded to say "sorry, let me retext... I'm eating".. Then she replied with more enthusiasm but it just fake or forced, later that day she got all cold again and I decided to mirror, today she comes out with so much energy and calling me and dropping so many messages and being all enthusiastic but my gut still isn't right... We were supposed to have our first date Tuesday next week and see eachother for the first time but I'm wondering whether to go ahead with the date or cancel... Normally I was super happy and looking forward to it but the way she's been acting I don't want to end up being all passive aggressive or acting weird cause of her behavior... I don't know whether to cancel or just muster what ever positive energy I can to have fun
Please keep questions in the comments much shorter. I answer quick questions in the comments as a courtesy.
It's important to understand that women follow their emotions. So, whatever her current emotional state is, she will act on that no matter how she was behaving the day before. It's very possible that she's behaving this way due to depression or it could be that her attraction for you has dropped temporarily...or a combination of both. However, look how she responded to you mirroring her low energy & lack of enthusiasm. So, I recommend that when she's behaving with little enthusiasm that you mirror her effort until she begins to invest emotionally again. I'm not suggesting that you also be low energy, but mirror her effort. When she begins to invest again, then take the lead to where you want the conversation or interaction to go. I wouldn't cancel the date. Just go & focus on having fun regardless of how she's showing up. When I say men must lead, you must lead emotionally as well.
@@SkillofAttraction Thanks so much Eric, I ended up taking your advice and went for the date despite how seemingly off and interested she was about and we ended up having an absolute blast... We went to the movie theater and even made out for a while and over all just enjoyed ourselves... Managed to talk to her too and apparently it seems she's just been really down.. Even without her telling me I could see she was kinda not totally herself... She said her social bar was just low and wasn't feeling too into people, I figure I'll just give her some space to get herself together tho not gonna lie.... I really do want to talk to her more than ever but I'm controlling that urge but in general I just feel more secure about the relationship and it's thanks to you... Legit can't believe I almost canceled 😅😅💔
@@carlosroy2808 That's fantastic! The lesson here is that it's important to not allow your emotions to get the best of you...& however she's behaving in the moment can easily change in the next moment. Emotions change like the wind...especially for women.
You can try to get her to open up to you...just encourage her to talk to you (& if she does, be sure to just listen & not give out advice...unless she asks).
Coach do you also worry in this day and age of sexual assault that someday one of the women you were with will turn on you and throw some allergations your way? Seeing that you are kind of a celebrity yourself, don't you fear that one day one of your exes will see your channel and use it against you? The reason why I'm bringing this up is that I am seeing some artists these days being put under fire because they asked a girl if she had a boyfriend or that they asked their ex-spouce for some sexual acts which they refused to do but are shamed for asking it in the first place.
Of course there's always at least a little concern about that, but it's not really something that keeps me up at night. One thing that will really help with this is knowing how to read her signals, whether her signals are to keep going or that she wants you to stop. If a girl is showing resistance, even if she's not saying no, it's a good idea to stop...or at least make sure she's okay before continuing. Also, don't take advantage if she's incoherently drunk or high. When you're escalating physically you want to look for the signs that she's giving you the green light...she won't resist, she'll be rather enthusiastic & reciprocate your touching, kissing, etc. Also keep in mind that a large majority of women would never even think of falsely accusing a man.