The true cost of minimalism
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- Опубликовано: 25 июн 2024
- 5 challenges that can overcomplicate minimalist living instead of simplifying it ❤️ Extra videos every week (this week, it’s about minimalist wardrobe changes): / anagoldberg
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❤️ Always yours, Ana(stasia)
Chapters:
00:00 Why minimalism comes at a cost
01:06 Challenge #1
03:40 Challenge #2
06:50 Challenge #3
09:37 Challenge #4
12:57 Challenge #5
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I was not gracious when my husband bought gifts that were too expensive and unnecessary (in my opinion). Gifts were his love language. He is gone now and I dearly miss all his “unnecessary” gifts. I eventually learned how to receive things I “didn’t need” with genuine thanks, but I know that I hurt his feelings for years. I wish I could tell him so many things, now… 😢
So yes, be kind to gift givers. It’s a generous thing to do.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Maggie. And I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️
Ana, you are wholesome! I rarely comment on your channel but today's video really felt like a hug, the power of words! Thank you for spread the love and acceptance, some of us (☝🏼) are still working through balance and simplify our lives
Your words resonate with my feelings about this approaching midlife woman who repeatedly expresses the thoughts I seek. There are many in the world and Ana is giving the permission to identify with the minimalist/essentialist crowd looking for their identity.
Thank you for this heartfelt comment, dear Rebeca ❤️
Ana - I know you struggle with high sensitivity but you are such a strong, courageous and thoughtful person. Just want to say that I appreciate you and your channel. ❤️
Thank you for your sweet and kind words of support, my friend ❤️
From Brazil. I loved this channel, it brings peace.
Thank you Ana for another very thoughtful video ❤ It was good to hear another person talk about gift-receiving as a minimalist. I have often struggled with those feelings of “what am I supposed to do with this now? Argh…” but it is good to remind ourselves that people express their love in different ways and be grateful for the love the other person put in preparing/choosing this gift. Then find a way to pass the item on to someone who might benefit more from it if possible 😊
Such true and gentle words, Louise ❤️
I think it’s easy to be overwhelmed when purchasing cosmetics and skin care products. There are so many ads and commercials on RUclips, magazines, and television. Sometimes it’s good just to buy simple, natural products. Great and informative video.
Simple and natural are always a great choice. I agree, Ruthann 🌷
Hi Ana I was helping a dear friend move from a large apartment to a very small one last week and she had saved some beautiful curtains for me which I thought were very nice but, I thought… first, they are not my style… second, I have been trying not to bring in more things that I don’t want so that they don’t clutter up my house… I have been decluttering my home for a few years now and I have been working hard to keep things in order and not let things creep in again… so what I said to my friend was I will take them with the understanding that I will find a new home for them, but they will not be coming home to stay with me for long.. I called another friend and she took them and she said that if she doesn’t want them that she will bring them to a thrift store near us. Problem solved. It’s not always easy but sometimes you just have a say no thank you with kindness ❤🥰🌷
So true…moderation in everything in our life! You are the voice of reason as usual, Anna, thank you for your insight..🙏🏻♥️
Hi Ana, thank you for your video. Your crochet collar looks so lovely. I love it❤. I agree with you on all the points you make. The other day a painting of mine fell down and broke my favourite vintage ceramic bowl. At first I was so upset but remembered all the years of joy it gave me and let it go. I know the feeling about shoes too, eventually I take the plunge and wear them without the worry. When it comes to creams and cosmetics I always go with my instinct rather than listening to the sales pitch. I look at the ingredients and go from there❤Take care Gale x
These are great topics, Ana. I think there must be a golden mean between too much /too little stuff for every person. And that golden mean is not a fixed line.
Good to see you, Ana! I am happy to see flowers in the background there. Always try to bring nature into your home! It costs nothing to forage a bit on a walk, and it improves the mood indoors for days!
Hi Ana! That hand made collar is so pretty! I have been away on an island of anger, but I’m feeling better. It’s funny that you are guidance I seek out when I’m getting ready to purge. I’ve always been impressed with your choices in your minimalist wardrobe. I have recently lost a lot of weight and all my clothes are WAY too big. But I’m also struggling financially so I don’t want to spend on clothes. All of which puts me in a newish, and uncomfortable space, of somewhat forced minimalism. Trying to make choices is just daunting.
I’m happy to see you again and hope you and Brian are well and happy.
Your thoughts are so helpful and illuminating. It's as though you're speaking directly to me, even though our circumstances are entirely different. I love your graceful lace collar.
Thank you.🌌.
Thank you, Ana!
Thank you Ana, Best wishes....
I think that its a great investment. I could use one, not having such available. Is anxiety and stress producing.
❤for u and Brian.
Very wise, Ana. ❤❤❤
Hello dear Ana,
I relate to you so much once again !
I used to own very little when I was younger (I'm 60 now) , and at some point, I was like you. My only pair of boots got holes, which means that I was often working all day with wet feet !
I believe it's one of the reasons why I still find it hard to get rid of my shoes and clothes, even when they fall apart.
Today, I can buy cheap second-hand quality clothing in my town market : most items only cost 3 euros on average !
So, today, my wardrobe is overflowing ! 😅
Bye, Ana, and thank you so much for contributing to my well-being !
This is my approach to clothing too, rather than aiming for less, I aim to get everything second-hand. My logic being if I have a substantial amount of (more ethically sourced clothing), it’ll get worn more infrequently, washed infrequently, and therefore last longer. 🤷🏻♀️ I still think if it as minimalism, but I suppose it depends on the individual and their own goals/situations.
Very interesting video, I definitely related to all the points! ❤
Yes ...too many choices. Definitely a struggle for me... Great video!
Thank you so much for this video. I'm not a minimalist, nor a person who likes a lot of clutter. Sometimes I get things I don't need, usually from flea markets, or pottery sales, vintage stores, garage sales. Cute stuff I think I will like. But every few years or so I do a big job of de-cluttering. Every now and again, I miss something I have given away during de-cluttering. I think that if everything I give away to thrift stores were still there three or four years later, I would buy back about 20% of what I gave away. Actually, I don't think it would be a bad idea. It would be like paying the thrift store to store my stuff until I see what I really want. I have to laugh at myself at times. I dearly miss a small set of espresso cups I purchased about 25 years ago and gave away about 15 years ago because they were in storage in my house for about 5 years. But I never used them and if I had them, they wouldn't be used. So, I hope someone else is using them. But they were so cute.
Thanks you for naming one tendency of mine that really bothers me: excessive decluttering. In my case it is clearly linked to my hope of getting rid of some aspects of my life and/or myself that I deeply dislike by simply decluttering stuff. Often on impulse. By doing this I not only do not get rid of the stuff that "really" weights on me, obviously, but also deprive myself of something I truly like and could potentially add value to my life. It's the opposite of a win-win situation. It's a lose-lose 😔 Thank you for your precious insights, I truly admire your sense of balance, hope I can absorb at least some of it by osmosis, simply by watching your videos 😉 🙏 ❤
Hello dear Ana
I found you when I was working as a substitute ESL teacher a while back. I had a learner in my class who I fell in love with (as one does) and I suggested she follow you as well. Imagine my delight as she informed me that she already followed you. When you have hard moments, please know that you reach people old (me) and young (her) and all ages inbetween. I will continue to follow you as you give excellent advice to both HSP and minimalist wannabes. I am both! You speak so plainly, openly, and calmly that I find you a breath of fresh air in this wild competition of RUclips. I want to emulate you when I begin my channel (which will be soon, fingers crossed. Your courage and excellent and vulnerable "advice" is wonderful. I will find a way to support you asap. Be well. Stay curious. and as you say, Keep your heart open. Hugs from southern Ontario, Canada.
Thank you for such a heartwarming message, dear Susanna ❤️
Dearest Ana. Thank you for today’s enlightening video. I have what I call an obsession about what I buy, I better use or else if I don’t use it, I have to throw it out and that means I wasted money. I’m referring mostly to groceries and clothes. I must be overbuying because after a week or so much is wasted as it goes bad and I have to throw it out. Also, more than half of my closet is not worn. I donate clothes once a year but the closet fills up again. I’m doing something wrong. Be well my friend. ❤
Thank you for sharing, my friend. Maybe try to track your purchases, write everything down and then don't forget to look through it weekly and monthly. This helped me a lot! Sending love ❤️
Some of the biggest challenges I have experienced with minimalism have been needing to do smaller loads of laundry more frequently and feeling unable to express myself in diverse ways with wardrobe. After 7 years of being minimalism and two years living abroad, I like to keep things around. When I keep gifts, I have more options and don't have desire for new things, and also feel like I have more to share and give. I definitely also experienced minimalism as a compulsion, it feels freeing not to have that obsession! (I suppose lots of people would consider my belongings as minimal, as they all fit into a tiny room which still feels spacious. I suppose everything is relative)
I like your perspective a lot! Thank you for sharing, Maggie 🌷
I value your time and thoughts you share with us ❤😊
I could relate to points 1-5, the most to the paralysis of decisions and the over management of stuff ! This over management often was a challenge for me in my relationship to my partner because of different opinions about organization. This often resulted in bad feelings of frustration, sometimes anger.
I try to find tranquility through decluttering and oganization ( HSP), my husband mostly has this tranqulility within himself even in a disorderly environment 😅 😇. But we find good compromises and I try not to exegerate the whole minimalism theme.
I hope this makes sense😅.
Thanks again Ana 🙏
Compromises are such an essential part of the relationship's foundation, it's true! 😅
These are all excellent points; thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts 😊 On the topic of receiving gifts, if I initially think I will not find use for it, I keep the item for awhile in an area where it’s out of sight (whatever period of time feels right for the given item). I do this because I sometimes think of a use for it after some time passes. It’s not that I’m forcing myself to think of a use for the item; rather, when I encounter a new situation that requires an item to take care of it (example: something to use for organization), I will think back to that gift and will sometimes be able to use them for what I need, even if the way I’m using it doesn’t match its intended purpose. One very good example of this is a crystal bowl my husband and I received as a wedding gift from a relative. We initially thought “this is beautiful, but what are we going to do with it?”. We kept it stowed away for awhile before I encountered a use for it (a cloth napkin holder). And it has been used in many different ways throughout the past 8 years. A planter pot, a place for our keys and wallets, a fruit bowl, a plant stand (turned upside down), a place for our mail, and right now it’s a place where I keep some of my most used craft supplies. Sometimes we don’t need it for awhile, but I eventually end up finding a new purpose for it again and again. 😊
We are now living in a much smaller place. We have bought a large home along with our daughter and son in law and are living on the bottom floor suite. I enjoy being creative with the space we have but at times i find it can look rather cluttered. I have minamalized a lot and still am. I find that to much stuff around makes me agitated. I like things simple but i still want it to feel comfortable and homey. It's a fine line and i want to have a balance which i find can be challenging under the circumstances.
It's always a pleasure to watch you. Yes, Minimalism is sometimes challenging, but always worth the effort.
You always share such refreshing perspectives. You hit the nail on the head with the awkwardness when someone gives you a gift. This whole video describes my own compulsive decluttering pretty well. I have guilt when I remember "oh that would have been nice to have right now", and i also have guilt over not decluttering enough, even though i have very little. I also have guilt over my things feeling very impersonal to me: I can just get rid of anything at this point, as if it never had any value or deserved gratitude. Another thing I thought of is that as a creative person, I don't want to to buy anything of i can make it. It will not only be more personal, but I'll save money, and more urgently, use up material I own. This is the hardest part to overcome for me. Not allowing myself to buy something even if it will save me time, ease, convenience, and instead frantically trying to get through a project to meet my own needs. As a perfectionist this is even harder because I'll start over repeatedly. Currently reevaluating a lot and as always your videos are perfectly timed
Thank you for sharing this, dear Negin❤️ As a crafter I can relate so much to what you said!
Great discussion. I can relate to mixed feelings and in particular, Guilt. It can be at times a powerful emotion and used to shame. Ive even done to myself. I appreciate your openess and lessons. Grace, i also think helps with balance. Thx again and nice to read what others relate 2 ❤
thanks so much for these videos. its comforting to hear your perspective and insights :)
Hello Ana! Thank you for your video! It's so much about me. I decided to choose minimalistic lifestyle due to moral and ecological reasons, but it's so difficult! I don't really feel relief or freedom. As a minimimalist I spend much more time taking care of my stuff - first choosing than maintaining and replacing (as I have so little, it runs out or wears out much faster). As I live in very small apartment it takes a lot of time to organise things on a limited space. Guilt and unwanted gifts are the icing on the cake. I know that the source of this stress is inside me and my expectation but honesty I don't know how to use this knowledge and find peace. I would be grateful for more videos about this topic.
I'm so glad that the video resonated with you, Natalia ❤️ I will definitely try to explore this topic more.
Another very thoughtful video. Especially wise as the “gift giving/receiving issue” is concerned. I had this problem - loved ones that use to give and/or still give far too many, almost always useless, gifts and presents - and slowly tried - and still try - to “solve” it: partly accepting the gift-giving attitude of others, partly trying to descreetly discouraging them and possibly re-orientering it. For example, at Chrismas, I began to introduce an "only edible gifts" rule and it worked :-) In other circumstances I limited very much my gift to try and discourage others to reciprocate. I also practise the "very well/not so very well" tecnique: if I like the present I give off very strong signs of appreciation 😉if I do not like the thing 8and especially if I feel it was bought and wrapped only to satisfy the giver need to buy something, which very often happened with a couple of women friends) I keep to the minimum, polite reaction: I believe in Pavlov "conditioned reflex" 😅and this also, in the medium/long term, worked. As for the gifts I have to do I do keep to strict politeness - birthdays, Christmas and no more - and try really to find "the" right thing for that specific person so that the other person can really appreciate the gift and feel honoured - which is part of the tradition of offering gifts. After I thought carefully and find what I think is the right thing (not a 100% easy thing to always accomplish) then I enjoy the present giving rite 🤩 It’s a difficult and potentially long process, but it’s worth keep trying it. Thank you for so gracefully remind us!!! ❤
Thank you for sharing your wisdom. ❤🙏🏻
I am so NOT a minimalist. Rule #1 in my house - Do not throw anything away LOL. i am a veteran crafter, upcycler, sewist, and we are farmers & always need odds & ends kicking around to repair other things. BUT that being said....as for the gift giving topic, even people who are not minimalists have this feeling oftentimes when given a gift. Especially, with small children's gifts. American consumerism can get soooooo carried away. And even when you tell people - on the invite, or verbally - "no gifts necessary", many people just cannot control themselves. And it seems like they think, "Oh, they said no gifts, maybe we should bring 7 instead" LOL. So I LISTEN when others that I love express their frustration over this issue. And I either only bring one small crafted or practical item (I make specialty children's hats), no gift, or an 'experience' gift. this xmas we gifted all the little people in our life season passes to a local petting zoo. The parents were over the moon! I don't think it is so much that 'we' are irritated at the arrival of a gift we do not know what to do with. Rather, it is the fact that the gift GIVER does not listen or value your sentiments. And they should know better - as more than likely the gift will just get passed along. That is what would happen with our kids. We would say "no presents, just your presence", way too many gifts would arrive, & within a short time they would end up being donated.
I really identify with #1. My issue is that after hours of analysis it is almost impossible to find the product. For me this comes down to food items. You would think it would be easy to find a vegan plain yogurt low in saturated fat, but out of the literally dozens of brands, flavors, sizes there are exactly 2 that fit my criteria and they are almost never in stock at the two grocery stores near me. I have spoken to the store management three times about ordering more....the fact that consistently are sold out/undersupplied shows there is demand for these products, but nothing seems to change. I have the same problem with hummous, tortillas, and bread. And number #5 is so important. Keep reminding us! And love your lace collar, it pops against your navy blouse. Hugs to you and Brian!
Thank you for sharing, Claire! Hugs to you too 🌷
I always assume that any choice I make is closer to the mean than the optimal. That’s ok, I try to avoid disastrous decisions.
Another great video Ana have a great week
Always Balance 😅
I love buying stuff, but I get stressed from to much stuff in my home. For me it is more 1 in 1 out. No guilt feelings.
Oh my! The things I've given away that I now wish I hadn't. But through time, I've even let go of the guilt. All I have left from my boys is a hand made and laminated bookmark from my younger son and my older son's French horn mouthpiece. But it's enough. The mouthpiece, when touched to my face, is like getting a kiss. I love that I have some tactile things, but I'm glad I was able to let go of so much. In doing so, I was able to help a few other people who were in need of what I had.
I always love your videos! You teach some very good lessons!
Your videos make me cry because somehow your talks about stuff but I feel many of these topics apply to relationships also.
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This was a profound video as always.
Thank you so much.
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Hi Ana, thank you for posting this well thought out and balanced discussion of some of the negative sides of minimalism with such candour. I experience many of the feelings and conflicting thoughts in my quest to live more minimally and intentionally. There have been many benefits but there are also challenges which are not so often acknowledged. Being comfortable with a little discomfort helps one to be more flexible and adaptable but taking it too far can lead to rigidity and discontent as well. Peace of mind, calm and enjoyment of beautiful things are important for balance. I really identified when you talked about your shoes. It can be so difficult (and expensive) to find the right shoes and so you don't want to spoil them. I have more than one pair but even then I find myself thinking that one colour is not enough or that I need different shoes for different weather conditions. Time and awareness are helping me to define enough. Thank you ❤
Dearest Ana another truly wonderful video. Guilt , Boundaries etc I can relate to everything you spoke about ! lol ❤🇮🇱🙏😘
I agree with #1. I find too many choices overwhelming. That's why I don't like buffet restaurants. I never feel like I choose the right things. I would rather order from the menu.
Awsome video.
Great video Ana! I have been experiencing all the minimalism challenges you talk about here. My birthday is approaching and it is a significant one, it will be all telling what relatives and friends acknowledge it. I have been extremely generous to everyone so I feel no guilt about my minimalism.
Happy future birthday, Marcia ❤️
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Did you make the collar you’re wearing, Ana? It’s lovely regardless.
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I am the first to comment today ❤😊 love you journey ❤️❤️❤️
Cheers, dear Prachi! 🤗
Настя, привет! Как из головы у меня вынула) Заметила, что со всем этим расхламлением как будто я сама уменьшаюсь метефизически, прямо в маленький комочек незаметный скатываюсь. И про вину в самую точку. А уж про подарки - это я 💯😅
Лена, привет! Да уж, хорошо такие моменты в себе отслеживать. Я прям частенько себя подлавливаю 😊
Merci !
Thank you for your kind support ❤️