Mom, Admit You Were Toxic | KARAMO
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- Опубликовано: 8 ноя 2022
- Leigh wants her mother, Vedra, to acknowledge the emotional scars and trauma that impacted her childhood. After a bitter custody battle between Vedra and her ex-husband, the real victim was Leigh who ended up in foster care. Can Karamo help this mother and daughter mend their lifelong scars?
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Who says “so? I was raped too.” That has nothing to do with how her husband treated her
so terrible
True. I am wondering if the daughter is the product of rape. The mother said that the decision to have the children was the father's choice. We cannot judge because we do not know anything about what happened behind closed doors. The mother is not telling everything.
It’s painful and unfair when a parent projects their pain or shame on their children
My mom she says that…it’s like a one up well this happen to me or that happen to me too.. in response to my situation. It got to the point I just keep my issues to myself and pay a therapist cause I see I’m not going to get what I need.
I hate that the editing “glossed over “ that, because I really wanted to know how the mother responded, and what she thought could possibly justify such a cold, uncaring response.
As a parent..please never think you're not suppose to apologize to your children. She's hurting and her mother knows that. She keep blaming the father. but she did some wrong doing as well. They need counseling bad 🙏🏽
You are absolutely correct!! My daughter and I have been through counseling. I was not the perfect mother. I apologized to my daughter. We are closer now more than ever before. We are parents but we are also human we make mistakes. A sincere apology can and does move mountains. It can put an end to generational curses. May ALLAH BLESS YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!!
@@kembaleo243 That's wonderful to hear. Yes an apology can go a long ways..God bless you and family as well. Happy holidays ☮️
@eshia'janell You are so right. It is imperative to for parents to apologize to children. My mother never apologized to me either, it's hurtful and leaves you with a sense of unworthiness
@@carolynwhite9975 I'm sorry to hear that hunny. I hope you still find it In your heart to forgive her. for yourself and not for her. 🙏🏽💕
@@PRETTYESHIA504 it is very important to sincerely apologize and support your child in a healthier way. My mom still blames my dad more for the pain and trauma they both caused us. My mom has apologized to me but it never stuck because she not ready to heal herself which is her choice but it still affects me since she doesn’t want to change her behavior
Her mother has no remorse. You can see her countenance of I don't give a darn look on her face. She's cold to her daughter. She wanted to hurt her kids' father and they suffered in the process.
Very smug and she sounds selfish. Foster Care for your children? Where was mom's family?
Totally agree with I wouldn't give her the time of day she's so stuck up her own ass she's a complete waste of time in my opinion
Mama hated their father and took it out on the kids point blank period! He may have abused her, especially being 20 years older and the children were a reminder of that….so sad! Just give that girl an apology!
I think she spent too much time tryuig to protect his image to the children that she made herself look bad to the children. If he was ordered to take care of the home and he just didnt...that's messed up and I would hate him too. And apparently he was lying to CPS about the kids not being fed, I assume this because the daughter neved said she was hungry.
He did more than she is saying and trying not to have those children see him in a bad light and the more she looked at them she saw him and what he did that’s why she didn’t want them around
The "Assassination of character" is something she came up with to make her feel better about her surrendering her children to Child and Family services. Instead of telling herself the truth that she was overwhelmed and decided to give up when the father walked out. I don't care if I have to sell my @$$ I would never willingly put my children in foster care.
Aint selling ass. But will pull some crazy strings for my babies.
It's the generational curse. I told my mom 3 days ago that I felt like she hasn't been a mother to me. She was like she do this, she does that. But I told her that she doesn't listen to me. If she did, she would have known that I was mentally struggling to raise my child with special needs. Black parents ( well in my experience) don't know how to communicate or recognize their mistakes and take ownership and listen.
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So true 💯💯💯💯
I totally agree with you💯💢
Mom's are supposed to protect their children and put selfish feelings aside. The mother was so worried about character assassination she gave up her daughters. To outward appearance, she blames her children for her pain.
Exactly!!! This mom is a narcissist and very manipulative, I have a mother just like that and they never change. Look how she is just calm and cool knowing her daughter is hurting inside and even comfort her. That mother needs to take accountability for her actions and if not the daughter needs to cut her off and continue with therapy to heal because mother's like her will never admit their wrong .
Daughter you can heal without your mother receiving..you are not crazy your mom is toxic 💜💫💜
Absolutely 💯
8:06 Karamo absolutely hit the nail on the head with this. the mother's husband was abusing her. the mother didnt want to destroy how her daughter see her dad so she kept silent about her abuse. this made the daughter side with her husband. the husband used that to manipulate the daughter and the mum is stuck because she doesnt want to talk about her abuse. shes dismissive of anything the daughter says because 'my abuse is worse than anything you have experienced'. both of these women have been played by the abusive husband and they cant see it because they are focused on each other
The mother reminds me a lot of my mother. A pure narcissist and maniac, I wish you the daughter well.
A perfect victim narcissist
I pray we heal
Same but I'm in a much better space now with distance 💯🎯
I spot those Narcs right away. I hope you find healing.
I need to put my mother on here because she doesn’t think she’s toxic at all
People always think the child who didn't ask to be here, grows up to be ungrateful & selfish...Kids remember how they were made to feel and those feelings take a long time sometimes a lifetime to get over...Parents never want to acknowledge their lack of parenting skills for fear of looking like an unfit parent..
She thinks by using elaborative vocabulary that the audience will somehow overlook the fact that she lacks accountability.
Wait, you gave up custody to prevent your character being assassinated??? 🤔🤔
The saying "HURT PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE" is so evident here. The mother has so much unhealed trauma and pain, so don't know how to be emotionally receptive to her daughter's pain...... hopefully they both go on their individual journey of self healing and can eventually see each other perspectives. Especially the mother, a simple "I'm sorry" would be so powerful to her daughter, a simple acknowledgement that I could have done better as a parent. But until she heals, she can't give her that, she can't acknowledge her daughter's pain, because she feels like no one is acknowledging her pain.
Mom is so closed off. Just apologize to your child.
*Chile where are the court documents because somebody is lying* 🤦🏾♀️
I can't imagine my daughter coming to me telling me she was raped an I say so, so was I, an go on with my day like she was some stranger off the street, it just seems like to me the mother does not like her daughter, the mother can shut all her daughters questions an hurt down by just simply saying "I'm sorry for what ever I had done to hurt you, can we heal together. I bet you the daughter would be down with that, because it would let her know her mother does care.
AS A MOTHER...wow ....this woman is too much....
It’s a simple apology that needs to happen to her daughter
What will the apology be for?
@@tidespring6909 for the pain she caused her daughter, and giving her up.
The daughter needs to continue on her path find peace because unfortunately I don't believe her birth mother is able to acknowledge her part and take accountability for her own actions and pursue a healthy relationship with her daughter. Body language tells a lot. If every answer is related to the ex she's stuck in the past and will not allow herself to heal and move on. I feel for her daughter. Mental health is important. The mother needs to get therapy.
Exactly 💚 ✨️ 💚
Agree 💯 you’re so true❤
Since I’ve been a mother I’ve noticed most women are jealous of their daughters. And it’s crazy as hell !!! how could u feel that way about your child.? And she was a bitter witch so she gave them up. Ughhh Her mom sucks
All the daughter wants is acknowledgement. An apology. It mends the hurts. Trust me. Accountability can make even the most narcissistic person look good. People who hurt others but want To change and do better and own up to their toxic behavior are people I can respect. Just acknowledge it .
Either 1. Right on both sides. We have a lot of animosity towards our parents but woo.. the childhood unhealed trauma, sometimes we have to give grace. BUT REGARDLESS of what the mom had to do, if you SCAR your children in the process, you HAVE to acknowledge it. You have to…
Or
2. Mom’s a really good narc, who knows how to put on a good victim narrative 🤷🏾♀️
feel like number 2 is the answer lol
Number 2…. Me me me. Instead of addressing her daughter’s pain. It was no look at me look at my pain
Exactly 💯
I just wanted to say I don’t know what you might be going through Or what situation you’re in right now but I no god is there for you and he loves you God bless everyone who came across this.🇧🇸❤️
May The Most High Bless you and your family ❤️❤️
6
it’s know, not no
Received humbly, and I pray the same for you thanks. Take care of yourself and be always blessed 🙏🏾.
If anyone doesn't know what happened in the pink sauce episode. I've written it out below and will copy paste on every new karamo video! Thanks y'all
Karamo endorsed a sauce lady who didn't know what the FDA(food and drug administration... Literally something you need to know when making and selling a FOOD product) she said, "FDA??? I dont make medical products.." like bruh. People were getting sick, and eventually one lady(Allured beauty and/or Ally) made a well written tik tok review, not particularly hating too much, just from an outsiders perspective. Fast-forward. Karamo invites the sauce lady and the review lady, ally, onto his show. He supports the sauce lady, who said that her review was just "clout chasing." The sauce lady then took ally's hand, patted it while telling her "you're not special." She is. Or, she should be- ALLY is the consumer, she shouldn't have to teach out to you about YOUR poisonous products. Ally replied, saying"hopefully this a learning experience for both of us," being extremely kind after being mocked for no reason. Karamo then said, "I think the learning is more on YOU, Ally."
After intense backlash, because he abused the guest and supported a potential bioterrorist- karamo deleted the episode. I can only imagine the shame he fully deserves to feel right now.x
As a mother that went through a similar experience with my ex-husband, I empathize with the mother and her trying to protect them when all she had to give them was protection. As a daughter that has had serious conversations with my mother about my childhood, I empathize with the daughter because being a child and not understanding adult things feels like punishment. My mother is old school as well and never spoke ill of my father, although I would've appreciated knowing the truth in a childlike way that my father was on drugs, and that is why I didn't see him much. Before finding that out I walked around feeling like an unwanted and unprotected fatherless child. No walk down the aisle or my children's birth, nothing! Still tell this day at 42 years old no relationship with my father, even after drugs were no longer in the picture. All my mother was trying to do was protect me and I see that now that I'm a parent, I experience the same thing. I pray for their healing! The mother needs to tell her daughter everything to avoid history repeating itself.
Now this is a reasonable response... I appreciate your point of view.
I think the mom was abused heavily based on the fact that the dad was 20 years older & made her have the kids. The mother had nobody and now refuses to speak on her own trauma.
I concur
9:46
Moms always gets the blame key word the daughter states that was not my relationship.
Exactly, he was being disruptive and evil and not caring about his family in general.
Then the father gets around the kids love bombing them into deception so therefore they turn against their mother with disdain behavior and resentment.
I can understand both sides .. as a mom .. the dad could have been abusive .. both verbally and physically and psychologically and she felt like she had to protect them , by hiding his abuse . But now it’s time for momma bear to let down her guard ! They are grown now . They made it , now let’s deal with the emotions.. we know you did your best
People dont have no remorse to damage someone agenda
The mother is so cold and hard. I’d just give up at that point. Idc what “happened” to her. Help your child?
IDK how a man who has children could do something towards the mother and children like that. It's heart breaking.
You haven’t heard her dad side. But you heard the daughter said she don’t believe the father wouldn’t do something like that.
@rodcliff neal... And that's why that mother doesn't want to tell her kids what she was going through now. They wouldn't listen which means took his side. After so long you Learn to get over things. Now her grown child should too.
Now if she wants to start over fine. But we can't hold ourselves back as adults.
Like mother who stops children seeing their dads. I don't get that.
I can relate to this young sister. Her Mom doesn't take ownership in the demise of their relationship.
The mom is most definitely toxic
Just like karamo
Mom's a narcissist and I hope the daughter can get therapy and find peace without her. It seems like she's not willing to help her daughter heal and move on.
My personal experience it's hard when it's your mom my mom has changed a little but a little is not good enough
Ths childhood trauma that she has put me thru I'm glad. I healed from my narcissistic sociopath mother wound but the projection and deflection and the manipulation tactics guilt shaming victim shaming And enabling the toxic behaviors habits and traits the
Gaslighting and the master manipulation the wanting to be possessive in a bad way the wanting to be in control and have authority
The generational curses are real I have a big family and your actions and behaviors you can change and work on it selfish nothers not all are jealous envious or hate u or envy you or is in competition with you but heal from the abandonment and neglection
Heal from the insults belittles and bullying for the other ones therapy I recommend this to my sides of families because it's important
i love my mom...she had issues w/ my dad but never projected those issues on me or me and my dad's relationship.
What a COLD mother !! 😢
My mother is a narcissist & I recently cut her out of my life. I’m doing my own healing. And I want to heal & better myself without her in my life. 🥰its like weight has been lifted off my shoulder
Karamo has a tell as we call it in the profession. He shows who's side he favors by the way he greets the guest ☺️. Notice he didn't even stand for this one (mom). On other episodes I have seen him ask for a hug from one and the shake the others hand etc. It's funny to watch him be human in this way. 🙏
Thats interesting , a "tell"? Does he do this knowingly, or unknowingly, in ur opinion?
I’m assuming the Dad had custody and when he died she had the option of taking them or relinquishing her rights. Since her daughters were older I think they challenged her a bit and she gave them away instead of building a bond with her kids. This is why your parenting style has to adjust to the age of your kids. Me as a mom now totally different now that my girl is 15. I had to learn to trust her and give her a little space. I’ve never whooped her but I did hit her once when she was being hella disrespectful because someone made her mad at school. I apologized and never let it happen again. She is honestly my best friend and she tells me everything. Hell her goid girlfriends call to tell me stuff.
Seems like the dad abused the mom in many forms of fashion.
Totally agree and she does not need to relive her traumas for the entertainment of the nation just so they can say oh
These women were both poised and elegant. I believe Karamo helped them reach a milestone that will allow them to unite.
The mother has a hard protective exterior, she is in deep dark crippling pain from her emotional wounds and has unwittingly pumped that bile into the daughter, the daughter is so broken hearted and let down, I hope she gets help and understand that her mum will probably wont change (if she does it will be a miracle, never say never)
I have empathy for both ❤
She didn't want them cuz things didn't work with him selfish as hell
Totally agree
Man at this point - the mother is self and only cares about her feelings. Move on & she’ll regret it. 💯❤ Find peace & happiness 😊
Mom's do an go thru it all for our kids and we still get blamed for everything, smdh
I could never give my kids away no matter what. Her mother didn't want her then and do don't want her now.
The mom first needs to acknowledge her wrongdoing and take accountability ! See and hear your child's pain regardless of the reason. Once that is done, the daughter may be more receptive of the reasons and excuses.
I don’t discourage my daughter from crying and I let her know after she’s done crying we’re gonna talk about her emotions I never want to come across or off COLD to my daughter..
She keeps saying "I went through a lot," "I went through a lot..."
So Elaborate let her know she's been grown.
She spent so much time trying to make it look like she was not resentful to him in front of the kids, it made her appear resentful of the children to the children.
Agreed.
Healing for these lovely ladies
A LOT of women are jealous of their daughters, and that shows itself in viciousness and nastiness. It pains me to see how many fellow Black women had/have mothers who were the enemies in their lives. Your mama should be your mama, but she should also be someone you see as a friend and a safe space. Yet somehow, mothers are abusive to their daughters and proud of it. She put her babies in foster care and dismesses their experiences. I appreciate Karamo for having sympathy, I just can't have any for this woman.
And this is why you need to tell the whole truth as soon as possible, clearly stuff went on that both of them were not privy too, and as a result stubborness and resentment filled those gaps where the truth should have been.
She Gave Them Away Because The Father Said Bad Things About Her! Not A Reason! She Did Not Want Her, And Still Does Not! 😒😒😒
NO KARAMO HUG for you, M’am!😂
It's not the children's responsibility to bare the burden of the parents relationships 😕 .Not your burden to bare.
Her mother is a narcissist 😢
Not once did I hear her say the dad was abusive or toxic to the KIDS. She made it ALL about herself and her hurt feelings. IDGAF what a man puts you through you never traumatize your kids by throwing them in foster care. She’s selfish! You can’t change my mind
As a mother you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. We're told to protect the kids from adult drama and not to speak bad about the other parent but it's to our detriment. I feel for the daughter because of the things her mother has said like "what makes you special" and "so what, I was raped too." That's HORRIBLE! And yes mom may not have been celebrated or cared for as a child. But she also may have and is just a narcissistic mother. Either way, the daughter should get counseling for herself and let go of her ideas of what she would like her mother/daughter relationship to be. Sometimes we have to do that or it can destroy us. Don't let it!
She reminds me of my mom so much
Same
From Karamos shows about toxicity, I feel I had the best understanding mom till her deathbed,continue Resting in Peace mom,I feel bad for toxic families. Much love from Kenya 🇰🇪
My mom was an alcoholic when I was growing up, so I kinda understand why she was so mean towards me, my sisters and especially dad. As an adult, I have explained to my sister's the issues I have and they told mom. Within the past 10 years, she and I have been very loving and respectful based on our trust and belief in Jesus Christ. Although she is unable to talk much about her alcoholic days, she mentions that she didn't know how to be a mother, or that she was a drunk. Never an apology, put this was her way of acknowledging her problem to me. It's hard yet it's the path I had to take. It actually made me stronger. Therapy is key!
Who cares what happened!! Show some compassion mother! Show some love! Oh you can’t your wounded
She seems to resent the fact that she had kids with that man. She needs to separate her kids from her father. She has nothing to do with that smh She took it out on the kids. Like many single parents do. Saying what makes you special on your child birthday is not protecting you were BITTER SMH
This is why I don’t never depend on no man and I teach my daughters that too and my sons.
The mother has been through some things. It’s so obvious
The moms answer can't be "Oh cuz your father hurt me, I hurt you. It is what it is." Like no, that's not how this works if you want a healthy relationship with your daughter.
Yes moms, sometimes children do not realized that us mothers had no training. We have to learn the hard way, years by ourselves. Most farthers just walk away but the mothers usually take the responsibilities. We had to learned fast by ourselves. But we do not get any credit for our effort.
Yikes
Having kids is a choice. That’s it that’s all. A child doesn’t have to realize one of that
What an amazing hoste and an amazing mom and daughter God bless them all
Both mom, and daughter, are holding back on the truth. The daughter, out of fear of constantly being shut down by her mom. The mom, for some very selfish reasons. The reasons that she gave for giving them up to foster care were weak asf! Talking about the father didn't keep the lights on, and etc., etc! 😳 Gtfoh! Also, the children wouldn't listen. THEY'RE CHILDREN for goodness sake! And children don't always listen. Like,... C'mon! 🤣 4real! Plus, at that age, children don't always grasp the full magnitude of different circumstances/situations. Therefore, she is cold-hearted, Karamo. Just tell it like it is. In my opinion, she's blaming her children, for giving them up.
Regardless she FAILED to speak life into her children. She is bitter and narcissistic. Her children had nothing to do with any of it, so her vitriole and lack of support for her daughter is a separate issue. She is defensive instead of being open and apologetic. My mother comes across the exact same way so I know firsthand the experience of being a daughter of a narcissist who is the chronic victim in their own mind. Every attempt to get them to accept responsibility is met with excuses or blame. I hope the daughter learns to validate herself because seeking that from her mother will be a pointless battle.
This mom needs to learn how to mother unconditionally and this daughter as hard as it is needs to learn to forgive her momma for being stupid and making all these mistakes. The self preservation this mother has is almost sickening.
He still should have made her explain why she told her daughter that for her birthday
I do get disturbed by this topic, I think when you are grown, if you've got a problem with your parents, just leave them alone and live your life. All this kitchen sinking about what you remember that nobody remembers, is not healthy for anyone.
Cold as ice
She hated they Daddy and took it out on the kids. How you hate a man so much that you would hurt your own children?
She keeps talking about their father after every question. What does their father have to do with you putting them in foster care??? She’s blaming everybody but herself. As a mother, you get it done by any means necessary. The divorce should’ve prepared her.
I think Mr karamo always sopports who brings in their complian first and forces the other person to accept 🙄🙄🙄
She’s in denial. She’s a narcissist. She won’t let her guards down to help communicate with her own child. Your husband did that to u. Not your kids. You’re taking out what ur husband did indirectly on your kids. They went though a lot it seems and apparently what you did didn’t work. They were probably too young at the time to even understand & she’s asking for understanding NOW & you won’t even try to help her so she possibly won’t go through want you did. Your utilities getting cut off one time doesn’t explain the years of torment that they must’ve went through
Look how mom smiled at the end when she realized Karamo actually saw her.
The "mom" is seriously triggering me smh
I don’t give a damn her decision to give up her kids because of their dad is insane! Who would give up custody ?? It’s l frustrating at times when parents feel because they are your parents they do and say whatever that’s not right!
The Mom was evasive and very much evading. Hope she heals.
If they was living with him. Then he passed they couldn't live with her. Even with him saying whatever. If it wasn't proven in court. Why did she have to give them up. That isn't making sense to me. Hearing her say what she is. A child don't know everything. On an adults level in the end if it. All they want is mom and dad. If evil isn't ruling them. With them as an adult I don't see. The importance to tell a child. All that before just being mom or dad to tell. I doubt there is anything. She could say to her. To make her feel ok. I see why it was necessary. For you to give me away at fourteen. So she was working and dependent on him. Financially is that what it was. Oh she wasn't working. She just said she was tho.
What happened to the pink sauce video?
The mother's denial of the timeline of the father's death though?🤔
Lady listen to your daughter and acknowledge her pain. Cold 🥶 mother! She does not care.
She should have never had children. I would NOT fool with her ever again in life!
I wouldn’t won’t anything to do with a mother like that
This one was kinda hurtful to me because I honestly don't believe that any child needs to know the specific details of what went on in order for them to heal. Instead just an apology of how their situation hurt and affected the child.. All mom had to do was apologize for how her actions made this young lady feel and that key thing was disregarded. Instead Mom was sympathized with and really able to run with this excuse even more while not addressing her daughters feelings. It was all weird. The break down could happen at anytime but just owning how as a mom you indirectly hurt your child was the main purpose in this moment. I felt even worse for her after this ended. While her mom had that smug manipulative smirk, happy that she was able to pull the wool over yet another person's eyes 🙄
PINK SAUCE
yea mom needs to have accountability, vulnerability, and be in a safe space to tell all she went through i definitely dont think she is cold natured just built up walls i cant relate to whatever she went through but i can relate to the building up walls tryna come off as cold to keep from feeling the pain and wat im emotionally scarred with to this day
Mom is Very Toxic. How can you let or give your kids to Foster Care. No Excuses. Period.
That mama is LYING about that timeline for sure.
The mum is a horrible peace of work. She doesn't realise what she has done. Awful to watch. She is cold right now
Mother is all about self. 😢
Bless them. I hear her and her mom. I hope her daughter and her, can continue talking, honestly and transparently. We have to talk through the pain❤️🌈🌻
Mom is hiding something
pink sauce
This is great😊😊😊😊
She chose him. But she made them pay for her poor choices and for his mistreatment