The first one just had me laughing with the " can't hit the black guy or your racist" and 5:06 doing that in the 1950s could get you a section 8 or discharge for being crazy
Airforce was at a comic con with a EOD suit. when I was given a chance to wear it I was wanting to fall without being grabbed, they caught the 90 pound suit + person mid fall. I was half tempted once I got up to start running away with it. But I probably wouldn't get far aswell as I was surrounded. Still funny though.
The males had the same problem with the toilet they flooded the whole bay bathroom on the second floor. Since the females had to report to the male bay for instruction and such we had to use the male bathroom but the one time we couldn't was when the drills found out about the bathroom. Shit was funny as fuck. Shit, the "female" bay toilets never flushed lol. We got into trouble for Fort Moore's water issues lol.
"watches black dude pull the agent dodge in platoon boxing", oh I don't think that white boi has anything to worry about he ain't layin a glove on the other dude.
I once had a dude in my unit find out i had a hot girlfriend. We were out on the town and I choked him out and when he woke up i told him next time i would just keep choking him and then borrow her dads tractor for an hour. He didnt tell anyone and he took every deployment he could get. I was joking but it worked.
True facts on airforce I know this chick that’s a medic and everytime she’s not at work or studying for college she’s going on trips like snowboarding or to the beach or grand canyon, or she’s going out to super fancy places. Yeah airforce has it nice they get to do whatever they want
Funny shit 😂😂😂😂, that throwing knives games, i use to play that when i was a kid and we called it split the kipper, one time we was using butter knives and my bro proper missed and cut deep into my thumb lol shit aim
Nikko's energy in all his videos is too hilarious, I might need to lighten up on watching his content. 😂 Had me dreaming that both our crack headed asses were on the hunt for some cookie dough. P.S- We never found any. 😂😭
Yeah me and my buddies played the hell outta that game featured at 2:33...With a full sized fixed blade. We also got insanely good. But like with boxing (dude got his orbital bone broke af during a boxing match) we were eventually banned from throwing knives anywhere near feet. To the friends (excuse me, idiots) that thought playing that game in flip flops was a good idea or that it would end well...What were you thinking?
We had an LT get in trouble for playing chicken with a Spc using a K-Bar, the LT lost the game when he put the knife through the Spc boot, all the way into the ground.
I have the FLU...and...i feel like CRAP....BUT...YOU SIR....make me feel better... thank you....p.s....can i pla leeeezzzz have your ENERGY...I NEED IT AT this point.
"Or do something so gay you are forced to quit."
Been laughing at this for a solid 5 minutes for how accurate it is.
Marines said: Fuck it, we'll just use knifes
“Sir did you just put that plate carrier on the dogs head?” Had me laughing for a solid minute
Been out 8 years, still have my " I love me book" somewhere in the safe 😂😂
Also me
The first one just had me laughing with the " can't hit the black guy or your racist" and 5:06 doing that in the 1950s could get you a section 8 or discharge for being crazy
Right 😂
Unless your name was Corporal Klinger LOL
Only real nikko Ortiz fans can like
Only real ones!
Fr
Yeah not ai real aliens
Yeah!!@@nikkoortizshorts
Ok I liked the video
Nikko FYI that knife game is Mubblypeg. You can find it in a 1920,-30 school yard games book. Yes kids in the 1920's played that at recess.
The military has the best fails!
lol I find them so much funnier because all the fails are just SOOOOO expensive. 😅
They really do 😂
Facts 😂
And now they are the best fail
It’s biggest fail yet is recruiting. It’s hilarious
Airforce was at a comic con with a EOD suit. when I was given a chance to wear it I was wanting to fall without being grabbed, they caught the 90 pound suit + person mid fall. I was half tempted once I got up to start running away with it. But I probably wouldn't get far aswell as I was surrounded. Still funny though.
2:17 bro i cant breath 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was retired at 22 as well. mine was from blowing through disc while putting a fire out.
Dude, the "Lieutenant Dan!" had me dying for no reason!!!😂😂
The males had the same problem with the toilet they flooded the whole bay bathroom on the second floor. Since the females had to report to the male bay for instruction and such we had to use the male bathroom but the one time we couldn't was when the drills found out about the bathroom. Shit was funny as fuck. Shit, the "female" bay toilets never flushed lol. We got into trouble for Fort Moore's water issues lol.
its impossible to beat Nikkos energy XD what a guy
"watches black dude pull the agent dodge in platoon boxing", oh I don't think that white boi has anything to worry about he ain't layin a glove on the other dude.
Yo 2:27 I've never seen that place before lemme just have a better look at canyon 😂
That's a fine lookin canyon my friend
Nikko’s face at 2:28 😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂
Air Force gets to do stuff. Army gets stuff done.
My anxiety can't handle the knife throwing game xD
As a marine we indeed hate losing
Depending on when he served, if I say, “there’s an Iraqi guy with an RPG on a tocoma” he’s getting hella flash backs
6:35 WHY DOES HER WORKING UNIFORM HAVE A ZIPPER!?!?!?!? BRO, EVERYDAY I SWEAR I JOINED THE WRONG BRANCH
you know that hot blonde is gonna cheat when he gets deployed lol.
Always a good day when Nikko posts
Always 😂
Brother going to mct tomorrow for the Marines and I hope you know we don't always got feet fetish just depends on the length we away lol
11:08 “PSYOP Spotted” LMAOOOOO
9:04 had me laughing at facts
Thanks!
Nikko forgot how to math lol
2:17 my mind just immediately went "left foot stomp, hands on ya knees, hands on ya knees"
Honestly, thanks for that last tip Niko, im a high school senior getting deployed to basic for the navy once summer comes along, your the GOAT
0:52 YOU AIN'T GOT NO LEGS!
Hay y’all hope your all having a damn good day and if your not OH WELL HAHA 😂
I once had a dude in my unit find out i had a hot girlfriend. We were out on the town and I choked him out and when he woke up i told him next time i would just keep choking him and then borrow her dads tractor for an hour. He didnt tell anyone and he took every deployment he could get. I was joking but it worked.
This video has made me realize my military mom has instilled that I always stand at attention waiting places where standing is the only option
Yup, definitely best advice there at the end. Still have my "I love me" book from years ago
Yooooo watching Nikko trying to count is freakin HILARIOUS😂😂😂
6:17 I think Nikko is realizing he may have joined the wrong branch.
I'm an e-5 and STILL don't have an I love me book 😂😂😂
True facts on airforce I know this chick that’s a medic and everytime she’s not at work or studying for college she’s going on trips like snowboarding or to the beach or grand canyon, or she’s going out to super fancy places. Yeah airforce has it nice they get to do whatever they want
Never skip a fail vid from Nikko… bestest ever ❤😂🙌🏼
Hell yeah
30 minutes and 7010 views hell yeah Nikko
Facts, blondee 💙
Skipped
@@Mr_Nobody913 hey there stranger 😂✨gang gang✨
4:04
Holding on to you is a song that has the lyrics "lean wit it, rock wit it"
2:57 when you throw a knife hold the blade not the handle
Also how far you're going to throw it will determine where your hand goes on the blade. Short throw-closer to the handle
2:16 the guy is also missing his left hand
Funny shit 😂😂😂😂, that throwing knives games, i use to play that when i was a kid and we called it split the kipper, one time we was using butter knives and my bro proper missed and cut deep into my thumb lol shit aim
love the vid bro it's amazing your so funny love your humor
So good 😂
Nikko's energy in all his videos is too hilarious, I might need to lighten up on watching his content. 😂 Had me dreaming that both our crack headed asses were on the hunt for some cookie dough.
P.S- We never found any. 😂😭
God I love when Nikko spreads my cheeks and fills me with happiness everytime he uploads!
dude what? :D😂
trust me
my dumbass gonna lose that book with all the paperwork
i didnt realize how important the "i love me" book was until now. anyone else got any useful tips?
I wonder if nikko ever saw
Jamsheed the RPG god lol that’s an awesome video
Love Nikko's demonstrations! Thank you, Nikko I truly needed this today!💙😢
she deployed to the Gyatttt 😂😂😂 sheeeesh
7:09 ah shit.. gate runner gate runner
Nikko doesn’t give half a fuck and that’s why I love him
I bet you good money I can lose that binder 😂😂😂
@ClickOnProfile1023 I love your channel it gives me a good laugh all the time especially when I need it. alright sounds good
I think he screamed because he said your entire platoon, so that would include his legs.
Love the military videos!
More Military fails lessss gooooooo
Great vid Nikko!
Yeah me and my buddies played the hell outta that game featured at 2:33...With a full sized fixed blade. We also got insanely good. But like with boxing (dude got his orbital bone broke af during a boxing match) we were eventually banned from throwing knives anywhere near feet. To the friends (excuse me, idiots) that thought playing that game in flip flops was a good idea or that it would end well...What were you thinking?
Why would I put all my papers in lose place? Lose one, you lose them all.
"Lieutenant Dan!!!!"" 🤣
Marine field week includes knife marksmanship. It is followed by rizz week
Aye the girl sharing her LES and I Love Me book, I went to high school with her
I've been out for 4 years and I still have that binder I filled with my paperwork
9 years in the Army and ive only met one person that had an "i love me book"
Can’t wait for military TikToks part 2434
Wish I could speak to this legend to find the right route through the military.
You are an inspiration.
From stream to yt, Nikki never gets old😀
❤ 0:06
Literally was flipping through my I love me binder that I found the other day right when he showed the clip😂😂
9:02 This is the most relatable shit I’ve ever heard
2:46 Civil War Reenactors do this too. Well those who can't "read". Me I just watch and wait for impending doom.
Knew the military didn’t know how to fight lol
Love your videos Nikko ❤
So good!
“And then you can never lose it!”…… *loses binder*
That last tip actually sounds real good
30 minutes and 7010 views hell yeah Nikko
The video at 5 min is actually here on Fort Leonard Wood and yes we are Marines 😂😂 I actually saw this shit happen in person
nikko if i do the binder thing should i lamenate everything just incase
Boxing in the 4th platoon bay while still in my walking boot from breaking my heel 😂
yo u funny asf my boy
Great video nikko
So good! 🙌
Donut operator, AK guy and Nikko awesome day
Hell yeah 😂
@@nikkoortizshorts you should add foreign militaries to your skits
We had an LT get in trouble for playing chicken with a Spc using a K-Bar, the LT lost the game when he put the knife through the Spc boot, all the way into the ground.
I used to play that knife game at like 12 yrs old, my friend Bob was a pro at it
She tossed him her empty mag 😂
half the comebacks ive seen in past videos for the same videos
The air force=nothing is accurate but when u in the shit you'll need them
The bomb one I can’t stop laughing
nikko funny asf XD
I have the FLU...and...i feel like CRAP....BUT...YOU SIR....make me feel better... thank you....p.s....can i pla leeeezzzz have your ENERGY...I NEED IT AT this point.
"Wait thats 4..." 🤣
never loose it? you mean, loose everything all in one go
I had buddies at Fort Sill who I would always play Knife Twister with. Shit was fun till the knife went in someone foot...
Another Nikko video which means something funny or something to make you say wtf lol
Loved the video
glad i had something to make me laugh while im getting over this cold
What the hell is the military doing? 😂😂
we call the knife throwing at your feet game
split the kipper
Lt. Dan! 😂