I’m not depressed or have anxiety but I hate working with others. I finally found a job that is well paid where I have very minimal contact with colleagues and management. I hate socialising and making small talk with people I have very little in common with.
Gero, you've touched on things that I've had to deal with in the workplace. There are folks today that are just miserable and bully others for no reason. You are very observant! You are one gem of a human being!
Thankyou, your words are kind, people like us tend to be sensitive and it can be hard for us to relate to the world, what can we do? Just be ourselves, of course not allowing a phobia to cripple me is a goal but ultimately we can't change our innate selves, I've realised this. I wouldn't want to
Not only at workplace,some people target you for no reason at other public places. I was isolated by a couple of aquaintances in a gym and I am not sure what was the reason as we used to chat and play sports together.
@@gerofiore9695 There was a class action lawsuit, by those whose health,and lives have been ruined by these types of phsyc.meds and how long term use - unprofessional adivice by Dr.- prrscions.cauzex hutrendous problems.A warning of wisdom. Educate yourself sincerely.Shalom
I find myself relating to a lot of your videos. I'm of Italian/Sicilian background, but grew up in Scotland. I am 51 and have never worked officially since I was 27 mainly due to bipolar disorder and past bullying issues. I like your honesty and down to earth approach.
@@gerofiore9695 My Italian is as good as my job hunting skills...well maybe a bit better....but yes I'm also into Taoism. I've never been to China, but other places in Asia.
I'm in my 50s and have worked since I left school at 17. I've dealt with trauma, PTSD and depression. Due to some shocking stuff. But made myself push through. Im at the end of a bodyguard and security management career. Taught myself to be a CV writer, so I do a lot of that working from home. I wish you well dude
@tobyjohnstone1575 yeah. I've had bouts of some time from work. Counselling, etc. 2013ish was difficult. My bro committed suicide in 2012. I kinda carried on. Saw my parents break. Then I hit the wall about a year after. That was on top of other awful stuff. But we survive, don't we. Hope you're well?
@richardfisher5508 Your good self. I suppose what I'm getting at is that there can be particular things that keep bothering us at work, and elsewhere. The causes are often cultural, moral and political.
@@gerofiore9695 Listen mate you should give DMT OR AYAUASCA A TRY THAT WILL BLOW ANY DRUGS YOU GET FROM THE DOCTOR OUT OF THE WATER DMT & AYAUASCA ARE NOT DRUGS THEY ARE MEDICATION I WAS A DRUG ADDICT FOR YEARS UNTIL I TRIED DMT LOOK IT UP MATE BEFORE ITS TO LATE FOR YOU ❤️
There are effective modern treatments for that - Esketamine, psychocylibin, lsd, ayuasca. Trouble is, although legal depending where, you have to pay for it. I'm trying to get my health service (not British) to pay for an Esketamine treatment. The reason you don't have easy access to this stuff is Tricky Dickie Nixon (who could do with a bit of the stuff himself IMHO) and his stupid 'war on drugs'. Enlightenment seems to be shining through the clouds now, spread the news. If I could identify properly magic mushrooms without killing myself, I'd probably try microdosing with them. Did you know if you treat Fly Agaric (the prettiest shroom), it too is hallucinogenic. There are pretty certainly YT videos on this stuff - one lady in the States dries them out then makes tea with them. Although it's probably disgusting.
How do you eat without working, have you always had someone to support you? I have had crippling depression my whole life but wouldn’t eat or be able to take care of my children without working. I’ve got no one either. Driving can be anxiety producing. You interacted with that stranger just fine in this video. Bruh.
Good question, 40yrs unemployed I did try various businesses so I worked alone but not with others, ddnt claim benefits believe it or not, only now for my kids, my wife did, I was lucky I had two loving parents who supported me, I know it can be tough with depression and anxiety, I pray your situation gets better
I suffer from anxiety and depression and find myself looking for a new job about every 2 years..while on medication. I have taken myself off medication and found natural alternatives to replace my prescriptions and I also read my bible more. And lately I felt a lot better.😇
@@livaalloliago on the carnivore diet. It's the only thing that worked for me long term. I could barely go outside before. Within a few weeks it was gone. Years later now I don't even think about it.
I havent worked for 13 years due to issues i have around depression and ocd and anxiety and there have been times i felt more upbeat and should have at least volunteered with a hope of getting back to work, My mental health has been really bad this last 7 months and being out of work has not helped my mental health at all. I feel devastated by a wasted life. Its very difficult to get out of because i feel institutionalised so to speak. im 49
I know someone very near your age, same problems, except he never held a job and has clinical diagnosis keeping him in a mindset of beating himself down being high or drunk and demotivated. I'm sure many feel that way, but of course you are on the polar extreme so you feel it deeper. I got the 'tism and I feel those issues as well. WFH has been a dream for my kind. It is very possible to get a work from home job, but I understand the risk of getting off benefits to take that leap.
If you didn't worked at all for 40 years, (thats the same as haven't worked since birth), where did you get the money to buy food, car, dog, petrol? Insurance? How did you supported yourself & your wives & girlfriends lovers & 3 Children financially? Im puzzled.
Ive suffered terrible social phobia my whole life low self esteem depression anxiety ocd and its made me feel worthless and like an unfit father. You feel vulnerable and like your a burden. Thanks for your story
Your not a burden my friend, I know sometimes we think like this, Ive suffered as well with low self esteem and low self confidence, I think there comes a time when the brain just gives up and says to hell with this, I think this is what happens to me at times and I just dont care anymore and this liberates me from that nagging 'Im not good enough' nagging demon inside.
@@gerofiore9695 It gets worse for me because i really avoided most of life. Ive been reliant on my wife for so long. Like having life my own way all the time. Things always scared me, bills, anything so i became room bound. I hate myself all the time for being different to everyone else, like im trying not to be part of it on purpose. It's a fucking horrible way to live.
@@weazelbeast5400 Snap! My friend you CAN get out of it though, if ever so slightly, what can happen and what happened to me is that my wife became my carer in a sense, she does the bills and paperwork, they just do my head in (it anxiety provoking and I avoid anxiety as much as I can), we are different to everybody else, maybe we can't change that, but we can become better US's, or we can become better versions of ourselves, as they say here in the UK, 'it takes all sorts', the way I see it is like this, your and My world (our worlds) have become progressively smaller and shrink to the size of your room or your own self, your body even, now imagine this as a ball, this is our comfort zone, so our job is to expand that comfort zone by a tiny amount that may seem insignificant, trust me, I have become better, Im still not 'normal' but I have improved a lot, Im trying different things and if I can come up with a protocol then I'll write it and send it to you. But, for now ... realise that there are in the same or have been in the same boat, the expansion of that comfort zone is crucial, imagine you have like a dart board, the centre is you, the bullseye, your current comfort zone, and then another circle large than the bullseyes circle and you have lets say 6 circles before you get to the outer edge, now these are your areas of difficulty, the outer edges are impossible for you to do now, lets called them, zones, zone 1 is NOW, zone 2 is slightly out of your comfort zone and zone 6 is VERY much out of what your current comfort zone is - Lets say walking to the supermarket on your own is a level 3, i.e. too hard to do now but not impossible, you can create mini tasks to get you to that supermarket and so you can write out a task/s that you can do in zone 2 in that area, so maybe it could be ... walking to the front door, opening the door and to the gate and visualising going to the supermarket and back, zone 3 tasks may be - walking out the gate and going half way and walking back, zone 3 tasks may be going all the way to the supermarket, going through the door and coming out again and back home, and so you chop up your goals into small tasks with increasing difficulty. Zone 6 maybe, something that you'd like to do but you thing you can never do that as your mind/anxiety limits you. Now imagine the bullseye again, lets say north you have that supermarket goal at zone 6, south you have at zone 6 a goal of saying a speech in front of friends for 2 minutes, west at zone 6 you have another impossible goal and, east at zone 6 another 'impossible' goal, when you do one of these task or tasks you dont just expand in one area in a linear fashion but your world expands, you move towards all the other goals, without doing them, it makes sense right cause you grow in confidence generally and so those other goals become easier to reach. The problem with relying on your wife or a carer, is that one day your carer/wife/friend/relative can be gone and then you or I are screwed and suddenly we have to deal with everything ourselves. You dont have to do this all in one go, do this slowly, even a small task everyday is great and jot it down in a journal, maybe even make a giant 'dartboard' or circle with your current comfort zone and what you really would love to do in varying degrees of difficulty, even if you dont do anything at first, you've challenged your mind into even for a second, thinking a different way and that there is some hope in your mind. Just try it my friend, as the ad says 'YOU are worth it', I say I believe in YOU and YOU definitely are worth it, our minds or something in there tells us we arent good enough, or bad or not deserving, you can meditate and listen to those thoughts, let them come and let them pass, the thoughts are incessant and it will feel you are dying, ITS dying, as IT cannot face the light of reality, then in normal waking hours this meditation will spill over into your life, you'll be doing the dishes and catch yourself saying 'you idiot' or 'that bitch' or 'why am I so stupid?' etc, everybody has their own demons up there, let them come and let them pass as you do in meditation, this leaves you as the observer of thoughts, bad and good, you become objective to those thoughts and separate from them, so when thoughts like 'I can't do this' come, then a new you will appear, the real YOU, you'll start to realise that all those thoughts weren't you, when you go out and feel anxious there are thoughts amongst those feelings, they will appear strong and you can let them pass if just for a second before you give in to them but this process can I believe give you control and peace over your own mind. I pray you will be okay my friend, let me know how it goes, if you want to try it that is.
As I was listening to this video last night driving home I was surprised as it's close to my own story and also concerned as I know the backlash you will get from those out there working and utterly miserable and resentful of anyone who is not in the same situation. Lots of people are trapped in life and in horrible jobs with horrible people , life to them is a hell and they can't wait for it to be over . They don't see the point in trying to stay healthy or whatever because life is shit anyway so what's the point , may as well smoke , may as well eat take aways . These people are dangerous because they have not only given up hope but also any empathy for anyone else , they are defeated. I saw what society can turn people into at a young age and vowed I would avoid it at all costs . I've overcome alcoholism and addiction due to a traumatic childhood. Don't listen to those who say, ' So what , lots of people have traumatic childhoods and are still out there working '. There's nothing virtuous about committing yourself to purgatory just because everyone else is there . Be kind to yourself, love yourself and most of all protect yourself from the negativity out there at all costs .
But if everyone had your attitude and decided not to work because its purgatory then what? The country would collapse and there would be no tax paid so no benefits for anyone??
I hear you, better to start a business, maybe even online and being control of when you work, housework and not 'go to work', so taxes get paid and your soul is happy and satisfied doing what YOU want, not what the system may want, i.e. become a consumer of stuff you never needed in the first place, I hear you mate. My parents paid a SH^T load of money in taxes, inheritance tax was massive, care home took 200K or so, now me wife is getting in on her lady tax, its called divorce, they are all maggots, Ive got almost nothing left,when I was unemployed for years I should of claimed benefit but I was too proud I thought it was wrong and lived with mum and dad and eat with them, little did I know how brutal the system is, they worked all their lives to accumulate wealth doing unskilled work, sometimes 2 or 3 jobs each, they should have taken it easy cause what they worked so hard to give their son, is GONE!!
Usually even on a disability fund your allowed to work a bit. In UK I would recommend you get work up to 800 pound a month. You do delivery. Seems your ok driving. This gives you something to do, accomplishment, a numerous list. Just ideas
Im really too confident at driving and get into races, which at 57 is downright stupid, anxious when I get tailgated, but yeah at least learn how to drive, that's a plus, and I am really good at driving as well. Wow 800 a month that's really good, thankyou.
Dog rescue? are u kidding?! Imagine having to deal with animals suffering every day or going to see an animal that has been brutally mistreated... that could stick in your mind forever, it's horrible it's traumatizing!! I wish people to understand that anxiety disorders are not something easy to deal with, for those looking from the outside it may seem like no big deal But for those who have it, it's like struggle with it every day, it's difficult and tiring.
@@giovanirafael Im not minimising how Gerald may be feeling. And you could be right - in that it may not be the right thing for him to work in a dog rescue/shelter. We don't know though what effect it would have on the man in this video. Spending time with the dogs there, giving them love, feeling like he is making a difference and being able to use his knowledge of dogs and dog training there maybe could make him feel good, give him a sense of purpose. And most will feel sad and upset, even traumatised, seeing dogs in distress and having been mistreated - but wouldn't you prefer to help them after all they have been through rather than just leaving them to their own devises?
@writingpad7142 I don't understand why people have children either when they can't afford them. I wouldn't have brought my kids up on benefits. Each to their own I guess.
RUclips is working from home I think, also I didn't want to get married cause of social anxiety (phobia) so I got married in a registry office, so this is why youtube is a good option for me, I had a youtube channel for 5yrs but didn't make much money at all,
@gerofiore9695 Wow!! You lived off one wage. Hats off to you. When my man died, I took on extra jobs to pay the bills. Most disabled people are entitled to PIP. I believe it was called DLA before. People who are physically disabled see this as a god send as they need the help getting around. It's a very worrying time at the moment for people on PIP who have had strokes,chronic arthritis in their legs,feet, etc.
This is England..it's a lot more difficult here in the USA for people with disabilities; it's like they have a version of Hitlers T4 program going. Honestly I believe if there was a way to hide it..the US would implement that..really sad.
The feeling of being alone must have been hard, my friend. I know this channel will allow you to reach others. You will give so much fulfilment to others. I spent 7 years in intermittent pseudo jobs. I still haven't found a job where I haven't been subjected to the whims of controlers. Interviews are just horrible. I have always tried to be non judgmental; suddenly, I'm in front of a group of people judging everything about me. It's hard to accept rejection gracefully. I feel your pain. Jobs have been rubbish, and I have an unfulfilled one still. The key is connecting with a partner in this world... someone who believes in you; Then stability and personal growth can allow you to tolerate this sold-out chaotic existence.
I was very confident when my mum was alive, as you said, she believed in me,when she passed i had to become a big boy, I never made though, or haven't met anybody anywhere near her, not to support me but just the basics, i.e. not to put me down at least. Your words are true my friend, sorry you had to endure my old videos, they are more cringe than these new ones, hehe
Thanks for sharing your story. I struggle with social anxiousness also. I like the way you tell your story in an honest, unfiltered way with no rambling about unnecessary stuff. I hope your situation with the mental health is improves and good things come your way.
I think you need to be able to laugh at yourself and not take yourself or others too seriously, life is one big crazy mess and no one knows more than the next person no matter how much they pretend or act like they do, just have fun
If you can sustain yourself, you living your best life, no need to make your hobbies into work. Just do whatever u want for yourself and other people. People with their question lol, whenever you get asked what do you do, or what do you want say - live.I live. Somethimes thinking too much can stop you from doing things. So kinda need to switch up thinking and doing.
Im 50 too … dont know what I want to do …. But must work …. So I apply for jobs I think I can do and hopefully wont HATE … thats the strategy I think. I dont think ‘will I be happydoing this ‘…. Or ‘will I be happy doing this for the rest of my life ‘….. just …. ‘Can I do it ….Without hating every second…? ‘ If the answer is ‘yes ‘…. Then apply. 😊
Thanks so much for sharing your story. As a person with lifelong persistent depressive disorder I can very much relate. I've always felt like an outsider and at odds with the system, particularly the toxic work environment that so many suffer within. I hope you find a little peace, a bit of catharsis in making these videos and sharing with others.
Same Situation, got better started working but 3yr into it I got stalked at my job , horrendous ordeal .which then led to 2yr court cases. This has left me terrified to be outside without an electric scooter it’s my getaway . Put on meds and left to deal with aftermath. I’m still suffering the last court case was 2019 . Scared to talk to anyone incase it’s taking the wrong way .
Hello Gerald and all. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I have been disabled since an RTA 31 years ago, it was a life changing time for me and has meant that I am unable to maintain a normal working life. I suffer with social anxiety too and appreciate hearing your insight. The fast pace of modern life is likely to leave most people behind at some point especially those with extra daily challenges. I hope your channel continues to grow and allow others to make sense of the world and themselves. Live life the best you can and it is probably more than good enough. Be well and cheers!
Sounds like unhealed trauma. My story sounds virtually the same. I thought it was social anxiety/depression but I’ve discovered that it’s unhealed trauma (CPTSD). Tried to heal it over and over but now ended up with chronic fatigue on top of it.
You are strong man. Nothing wrong with you. I learn a lot from your life. Sometimes in life we need to be vulnerable. There is power in vulnerability and sensitivity.
I’m really enjoying your videos, I relate a lot . I was sent to see a clinical psychologist some years ago at the Royal Free hospital.. he was utterly useless and lacking in any sort of empathy whatsoever. There is criminal negligence going on where mental health is concerned. Thank you for this video.
@@MrLetmein2011 I took my Dad there to have his knee operated on, I remember going for the measly 4 or5 sessions of CBT they used to offer on the NHS in Willesden, I recall looking at this therapist and could see his body distorting and getting bigger, it was my attempt to focus as I was bored out of my head, another wonderful lady therapist in Brent, I was so desperate and crying and thinking I was dying as I had terrible fears of cancer, and she just sat there saying 'hmmm ... that's must be terrible living like that' no real emotion or feeling
I also saw a clinical psychologist eventually and it was no help. It was CBT based and she just kept asking me what were you thinking and how did that make you feel. Lots of photocopy sheets to take away and read too.
You're not alone mate I've never known what I want to do / felt like I belonged in this world. Been working all my life had multiple kinds of jobs hated them all
I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder & BPD, and like you have never felt I fit in with society, or had a desire to. Social anxiety (and the trauma that causes it) really does make you feel like a defective individual. I built a business from the only things I love (art & animals) from home and help people online too; this helps me to feel less isolated from society, but at a safe distance, but avoid in person opportunities like the plague which has no doubt hindered me a lot. I wish you all the best. 🙏
I don't understand how people still eat and have a car and live without a job...or at least some way to make money. I never worked because i wanted to, it was because i had to,.
Im not sure shyness or feeling embarrassed like that in situation like you describe and feeling uncomfortable, often doesnt really go away for many of us (bar the extreem confident).
I was in crazy pain for more than a decade and doctors couldn't fix it (much better now only because of way of eating, trial and error and online research), but I still have severe insomnia and anxiety. I don't know how to get a job and my side businesses didn't work either. I wish you the best.
Sorry to hear that Fabio, I still have insomnia and am experimenting with diets to see which can work, I'm trying Carnivore but super carb craving, I find it hard to stick to things for long, maybe an adhd tendency.
@@gerofiore9695I'm also sorry you still have insomnia. It's hard for me as well to stick to a routine or change. I started with a ketogenic diet and now between carnivore and keto. What I do is keep a log of macro nutrients everyday using an app/website... I eat dark chocolate 80% cocoa everyday and it's difficult to stop it. I went for 9 years drinking no soft drink and this year started to drink coke zero (no sugar) again. Have you tried electrolytes like magnesium, potassium, salt? It might not help with insomnia but with other things. Take care!
So how have you managed for money? You have a wife and children, you can clearly function socially. If you've been living on benefits, it's a good example of them being harmful apart from as short-term support. Having no option but to deal with your issues in order to survive (although very challenging) would have forced you to grow and develop and build skills and attitudes necessary to function well.
Ive tried driving jobs in the past, to be honest I cant work for a boss after so many years, Im not reliable with my mental and physical health issues, i.e. I cant promise that I will be able to make it at work every day so Im not a good candidate as a worker or driver, it sounds like an excuse for those who dont understand what mental health problems can do to you, in respect to not being 'normal', but yea I tried driving or delivery work and crashed my own car tat same day, delivering a parcel in Watford, didn't get paid for the job as well :)
Instead of running away from these uncomfortable social situations, you should of put yourself in more of them. I totally understand that it feels alien to confront what you really feel is your worst nightmare. But it really does help. You have obviously heard the saying "To face your fears".
I utterly empathise. Intense untreated social anxiety in my teens led to a whole lot of avoidance and problems which are really knocking me for 6 in my 50s.
I get a very strong impression that Betty's keeper is on the spectrum! High functioning... masking as best he can... but suffering. Everything and I mean everything I've heard so far dovetails perfectly with such a diagnosis. If so repeated exposure/CBT is of little therapeutic value as it's a neurological problem. It's more like putting your hand in the fire and not learning the first time! There may be other strategies that might help. I recommend Betty's keeper get this evaluated via a GP referral.. I could be wrong but the hallmarks are there
@@113msaunders Nobody said it is but everybody sometimes has to do things what are out of their comfort zone . If everyone fell at the first hurdle then what ? There must be times when the Therapist/Doctor wakes up in the morning feeling that they can't face another patient but still get out of bed and do their bit .
4 месяца назад+6
I suffer with anxiety too my friend. And believe me if you’re not wanting to be around society I can totally understand that.! Iv been on meds for the same length of time still work full time but it’s hard most times unfortunately.!! I’d gladly swap today’s life for a life away from this aggressive nasty way of life.?
I’d be no good as a shrink.!! Iv needed them a few times over the years myself.! I suffer with anxiety too and it’s not good.
4 месяца назад
It’s been a big struggle and still is to be honest.!! I suffer with anxiety too which doesn’t help at all. I need to shut myself away most of my free time and Iv got into a cycle of it. It helps me when I’m on my own.👍
Thank you, maybe I should do that again, maybe a channel that focuses on another topic, I like the walking video in the first person footage and my own voice-over, talking about various subjects, I may do this, thanks that was good feedback ;)
I got by in college and work on alcohol, if your good at it no one knows, that or they don't care if the work is done, it's the only thing that worked for freeing my mindset from constant worry, stress and noise and gave me amazing false confidence, under the fog of booze I didn't give a shit I was free and functioned perfectly I had it down to an art form, trouble is it's not sustainable health wise and it's wrecked me, but I am thankful as now I realise I am a moron and the fact I lived my life concerned about what others thought of me shows how pathetic I was.
Your definitely not pathetic ( look up empath videos on RUclips) you will probably find your exactly what they describe. & if your over 40, times were really different for us, ( as in no RUclips to instantly share our fears & experiences. ❤
If you consume caffeinated beverages, you might want to stop. Caffeine can cause anxiety big time, especially as we get older☝🏻😌 and there seams to be more than a few buying you coffee(stress in a cup)!
I had the same CBT about 20 years ago. I found it very useful. The few sessions are intended to teach you how to apply it yourself. I definitely suggest you get off all medication. Eat meat and saturated animal fat. Ignore the so-called diet advice (intended to feed cereal/processed crap co profits). When I started eating beef, bacon, eggs, butter, using dripping for cooking and not eating grains such a bread, cereals, etc I felt like I was ageing backwards and my brain started working at last.
I have suffered with depression since the loss of my grandfathers to which i was very close to both of them. they both died in 2002. Iam currently taking Sertraline and Quetiapine. I wish i could be hypnotized or reprogrammed so that i can be myself again, Whilst this sounds crazy thats how it is for me.
If I find a way I'll tell you mate, some ppl are more hypnotizable than others, my next door neighbour in London was a heavy smoker for decades then went to see a hypnotherapist and stopped smoking, it can work, not always but it can, I will try on myself, I know a bit about, two times int he day you are more hypnotizable or shall I say your mind is in a state whereby suggestions can be put into your subconscious mind, just when you are waking up and as you are about to drift to sleep, by saying things like 'I am no longer depressed, I am now my happy self again' but some say that negative suggestions may not work so they say to avoid them, so you could say 'I am happy and have stopped taking meds, I am at peace and cheerful every day', I don't know works best but look into it, you can write them out and keep them with you as goals, you can say them out loud etc Sorry for the loss of your lovely Grandfathers, I knowhow horrible it can be, Im going through it myself with my lovely Dad passing
Cbt works. You have to push your self out of your comfort zone. Relaxation/meditation techniques. Cut alcohol and caffeine down. I was housebound for months. I still get anxious but have to push through. We all live our life within the confines of fear.
Really identify with all you say I suffer with much of what you do. I shut myself off, rather more than I ought to. The thing is I just do not trust people, I lost all trust through being taken for all I had, and being told lies and so on. Now I trust just myself and two friends I have ( now only online) as I moved away from where I used to live as my late husband died 9 years ago. Could say so much more, but do not want to overshare here. I used to get extremely anxious when being followed in my car....especially at night
@sarah-kk4om Wow!! Did they say that to you? Contact your council. They all have someone in them who helps people back into work. Pip, as you know, is making changes to help people in your position. Hopefully, they will help you get your life back and into work. Good luck.
@@karenrobinson129 thanks for the advice. Employers don’t say I’m unemployable directly but that is the impression I get as they always reject me. The help for people like me isn’t really there. They have something I went to once but it was hopeless and of no help.
I had false accusations which are still partially dogging me 900 days since. I was 14 months in shock but got a job as a screw. Then they found out about it and nasty asides started. Also any minor errors I made were used against me so I had to resign. I failed detective, failed fake cop and failed post person. Then prison driver said yes but I will fail on the check. Then bus said yes. So studying the theory all day and got 87,87,89. I do feel like giving up but I have that f you feeling and kids to feed and a mortgage and bills and a hard working wife. However my brother is like you. He opted out in ‘91. Lovely guy but drinks at 11 to 3.
Also, if pulled in you get 7 points and possible ban for dangerous driving. Also, you have to pass a driving test and your insurance will rocket You will find it hard to find an insurance company who will take you on.
I am 54 and my friend i am right with you in so many ways it was freaking me out i have to say thanks i am not alone your not alone the anxiety depression thing has made the same impact on me.
Thank you for sharing. I think you have ADHD. I have many of the same problems you mentioned, but I work full-time. Every day is a struggle for me. I am seeking an ADHD diagnosis to help sort out my life. I'm over 40 now.
I was literally just about to write "have you ever been hypnotized?" the moment you began talking about self-hypnosis. What a trip! I'm a hypnotist. I do entertainment hypnosis and hypnotherapy alike. About 1 in 6 people are what we refer to as 'somnambulists' - these are folks who are prone to deep hypnosis with spontaneous amnesia (the easiest population to hypnotize). If you answer the criteria, you could benefit a lot from it.
your anxiety and depression might be a by product of an underlying mental health issue that you may not know you have for example im 32 ive had anxiety and depression since as far back as i can remember taking every anxiety and depression pill on the nhs but little did i know i was autistic and have adhd now diagnosed i realised that the condition affected my mood and emotions my relationship with my friends loved ones and society as whole i look completely normal on the outside but internally im a mess and i ware a mask when i have to be social but i think you should explore the fact that you might have other mental conditions that might be effecting your moods that are coursing anxiety and the depression.
Many have brought this up, some have said something about high functioning, adhd, ads I think, I have never looked into what those terms even mean, I thought they were hyper kids at school, children I mean
@@gerofiore9695 I think it's very likely you have Inattentive (or combined) type ADHD. I've watched a few of your vids now and have been thinking this very thing. You match alot of the symptoms. Hyper kids stuff is the hyperactive type of ADHD (there's 3 types but it's all labelled under the ADHD name these days). I seriously suggest you look it up.... It could be really important, since the self help videos/path to recovery with depresssion is different when you have ADHD! So much of the struggles you describe in this video and others are explained by either ADHD, Autism (ASD) or a mix of both, colloqually referred to as 'AUDHD'. After being undiagnosed for so long, you might also find help from watching the complex PTSD vids (that condition results from the trauma of neurodivergent people failing at life, and being rejected over and over) There's lots of helpful videos out there! Don't give up hope buddy, keep up the good work on the vids, stay strong, your brain can indeed be fixed like a leg! (sort of!) XD
@@KainLowsta Wow, you are very knowledgable, this is all new to me, I always thought I had social anxiety and depression, youguys have taught me more than any doc has in the past 30yrs, thankyou
Perhaps there are groups that meet rhve the same issues as yourself where you could compare notes and see how others have overcome this or found improvement in getting along in general. You are not alone mental health issues are very common today. My own thoughts are that a change in diet for better health would be a significant help. Also if you are in a bookstore they may have a section under essays where you would find books on people who have recovered from various traumas.
I am not suffering from any of these things. I am grateful that one tadpole fertilised the egg from all those millions to bring me into existence. This life is like a room with an entrance and an exit, but while you are here, live your life to the full and forget over analysing everything .
I love your statement and there’s a lot of truth in it. I have been suffering from severe depression due to my toxic family. Plus: I tend to overthink everything. It’s a challenge for some of us to overcome patterns.
@ClaraM-lr5kh do something different every day so you come out of your thinking habit . One way is to listen to audio books with volume above your thoughts. Every day is a new beginning.
Lovely Betty is being charming and participative in all these living in car videos ☺️. When I was young, I was so self-conscious, onion-skinned, and painfully shy. Now, I simply don't care much what people say. I do what I have to do with caution as not to get in other people's way. You like driving and are good at it. Maybe you can make use of that skill and interest. I know it's awkward to ask this but I still wonder why you haven't discussed so far the factor of having a family and the number of children you were going to have influenced your decisions and plans in the past. We can leave the past and focus on what we can do to ameliorate our condition. You are still young, energetic, and in fairly good health. Stay safe
Oh about my family, I didn't plan even to get married, my ex said she was shocked when she knew I was going to get married, marriage in China was easy, juts go into a room and sign some papiers and take a photo, if it was in church with loads of people having to do the dance and everybody watching it would have been much ore stressful. Oh so why did I get married, I wanted to tell you off RUclips so I gave you my email I think. But, here goes - I split up from my gf at the time and she called me back saying she was pregnant and so I did the right thing and got married, the other kids? I don't know how they were conceived to be honest, my wife must have been ultra fertile seeing as we were 'together' only 3 times and she conceived twice and practised 'safe' methods, so I think your question is or kind of, if you know your situation then why have kids and get married if I cant sustain a family? I didn't have any intention to get married, my gf now wife kind of pushed me into it, even in the taxi on the way to the office to get married I felt like vomiting and felt sick, I said please lets stop it and she laughed and said her brother in law had the same feelings, we got married and things seemed well for a time but things went stale pretty quick, there was no more romantic love apart from those 3 meetings where 2 kids were conceived, I suppose I have a very good conceptions rate 2 kids out of 3 goes is not bad, if you ant to have loads of kids. I love my kids a lot tho, my wife is like my sister, no holding hands, no hugging, just friends I suppose, she even said I should find a women to hug and kiss etc as she wont do it, she's just not that kind of person, I say to her why the F*** did you get me to marry you then? Initially it was for the child so she would have a dad around, but then when the novelty wore off, her true character came out, a communist coldness of certain Chines ladies I suppose set in. At time wonder whether she was pregnant or not, I mean she could have said that to get me back then really get pregnant, I dont know, I did ask her that and she said no she really was. She knew I had money and so security for her and her future children, this is called Hypergamy or the idea that a woman wont look at you unless you have money or potential to make money, I have the first one via my parents but not the latter, so now Im becoming more and more less attractive as money dwindles and I dont have the power to earn, hey maybe I can make a video about this subject? Hehe ;)
@@gerofiore9695 Thank you for telling me your story. Now I have an idea what happened and how you got to have many kids in spite of the circumstances. Gero, you never gave me your email, did you? If you're on Facebook, corresponding on messenger is more convenient. Plus you will get to know my name and the real me. But sure, give me your email, too 😊.
@@themarjoriedeleon I dont really use FB, twitter etc, sometimes I may use whatsap, I 'll give you my email for now, its calogerofiore(at)yahoo(dot)com I wrote it this way as youtube has a tendency to delete links
@@gerofiore9695 Thank you for giving me your email. Neither do I use Twitter nor Whatsapp. Hope you reconsider FB, just for the messenger. It's the most convenient way of messaging. 🙂
Nobody knows what this is like unless they suffer with it I can relate to this dogs are very in tune to how you feel one solid thing I’ve learnt is you can waste half of your life worrying what other people think and they move on and haven’t wasted one thought on you you live and learn
10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. 11For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread. 13 But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. 14 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 - 3:14
Dear Gerald, this is all I can tell you. We can't control others or how they act or external events. We can only control our reactions to them. We can think ourselves well and we can think ourselves ill. Everything we need to heal or destroy ourselves is in our mind and body. Some unsolicited advice; I would suggest reading the Tao Te Ching and looking into quotes and teachings of stoicism. There's a lot of wisdom there to meditate upon. Noone can help you but yourself. And you can do it. I live in Asia, I've seen people with no legs and no wheelchair make a living for themselves and I've seen worse. Be gentle with yourself, friend. Hold life gently in the palm of your hand.
@@gerofiore9695 I have a job, it's not that easy to get government support for social phobia, I'm more like I'm just going through life, avoiding people, shopping only online...
@@SILENTHIL Please brother listen to me, do RUclips videos, it will teach you to come out of yourself, although I avoid people I think I can talk to people and not be as afraid as before, it will teach you how your brain thinks about you, I keep thinking I look ugly and awkward etc, now that voice is smaller and I say so what? Its not like its not there, its there but has kind of exhausted itself, I'll support you, I want to see that video, imagine you are making it for me or a family member. There's no support here for social phobia or social anxiety apart from drugs.
@@gerofiore9695 buddy, thank you for your videos you don't even know how I recognize myself in them, it's killing me to go to work every day and see how others treat me like an idiot, giggling on the side but I can feel and see them, it's so humiliating and I still have problems with blushing, I blush very easily, it's a lifelong struggle, thank you for the advice
@@SILENTHIL Do you work in an office? i dont know what to say, you are doing more than I am, you at least go to work with people so thats already a plus, I wish I could go to work with you and talk to those laughing at you and try and understand them, do they giggle at specific events, maybe you blush and they giggle when they see you go red? I would have thought that if you become red and they laugh then after a while it shouldn't be funny anymore, ie. the joke gets old or stale, Ive given up and become the idiot, infact I have another channel I will call maybe Mr Idiot where I do some really stupid things, hehe.
And I had the trauma of a very dysfunctional childhood, then my child disabled by NHS for which we are still battling to get a recognition and still I am going to work everyday with a chronic illness too and paying you to wallow in self pity. Yes I recognise depression and anxiety are real illnesses but if you don't work for that long you would be depressed and your wife and child wouldn't respect you. I hope you volunteer at least. As a woman myself I wouldn't respect a husband who doesn't work unless he is severely disabled.
@@christislord2832 I am glad that your husband does all he can, I don't judge a disabled person as I said above but somebody who is not even trying would get on my nerves.
Hi Gerald,I just came across your channel. I just wanted to tell you you're not alone. I'm 54 and I have been dealing with this since 1997,I was 26 at the time. I had a sinus infection and my body went crazy,rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, fatige, feeling like I'm going to pass out , sweaty palms and feat ,intolerance to heat. Just generally feeling crappy. I've had so many medical tests done, the tests keep saying I'm healthy as a horse. I feel I'm being poisoned sometimes. I think it could be vitamin / mineral deficiency.Not sure though. It might be that we're more awake to the world around us/more in tune. I was aware of the marriage scam towards men at an early age. Then when they came out with the poke a few years ago I was like no way am I taking that! I just tell myself everything happens for reason,God has a plan. One day the pain will be gone.
Imagine if the economy collapsed completely, then we would all be subject to the "forced charity" of human whim and reciprocity! Oh, the rugged individualist horror!
you are actually a really funny guy. Keep being you. I bet you'd be good working with animals, and, or a tour guide. Even though you don't like being around people I bet you'd be a good tour guide. you are an honest person and sometimes that is enough.
Greetings from the USA. I like that lifestyle as I’ve been unemployed myself for a few months now in the US. How do you pay your bills over 30 years without a job? How do you access health care with no insurance from an employer unless you live in a universal health care country? How do you afford housing? Any answers and tips on how to do it would be nice. Thank you. 👍🏻
Gerald you have been bought up in a harsh society. People back then were very hard and uneducated.Your stories are very similar to mine,I was compared to my cousins as they were doing the so called right thing.Grew up in Brixton watching dracula the werewolf and frankenstein.Now 53 feels a strange world to when I was young playing run outs and knock down ginger.But you can't waste your life Gerald hope and wish u all the luck
Don't take this the wrong way but how can you afford to live if you don't work? I suffer with depression and anxiety and I've pretty much shut myself off from the rest of the world to keep myself safe but I still have to go to work to feed myself and keep a roof above my head. If I didn't have to see the people with whom I work it would make life so much easier, I literally dread the thought of going to work because some of them are so awful. I've had months of CBT but it was a complete waste of time - they just told me to think differently. It was fucking useless.
Ive always had parental support. At my age i feel infantalized. Its compensation for years of neglect and abuse. I appreciate the help but i wish i had been forced to work rather than retreat. I admire your courage in working
You don't have to drive at the speed on the road sign. That's just the legal maximum. You can driveat 20 mph if you wish. Let the tailgater over take you.
![[#2024MAMA] ROSÉ (로제), Bruno Mars - APT. | Mnet 241122 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dgGqD28J6aQ/mqdefault.jpg)
WHY I HAVE NEVER HAD A JOB (Why I left society 33yrs ago)
Buy me a Coffee www.buymeacoffee.com/GeraldFiore
I’m not depressed or have anxiety but I hate working with others. I finally found a job that is well paid where I have very minimal contact with colleagues and management. I hate socialising and making small talk with people I have very little in common with.
you sound very conceited
@@matthewcanfield6748Some people just value time alone and get drained easily from people. It's not a personal flaw, just how you are
I love this quote from Jiddu Krishnamurti:
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Chronic depression and anxiety is not normal even in a sick society.
Carnivore diet cured me
@@Tmate4444 Agreed. Those are the side effects of said sick society.
@@Tmate4444 I keep struggling everytime I go Carni
Hmmm ... profound indeed
If we had stress..in childhood..effects the rest if our life..
In my younger years I had a few fears like yours, but the need to eat and earn money forced me to grow out of it.
Gero, you've touched on things that I've had to deal with in the workplace. There are folks today that are just miserable and bully others for no reason. You are very observant! You are one gem of a human being!
Thankyou, your words are kind, people like us tend to be sensitive and it can be hard for us to relate to the world, what can we do? Just be ourselves, of course not allowing a phobia to cripple me is a goal but ultimately we can't change our innate selves, I've realised this. I wouldn't want to
Not only at workplace,some people target you for no reason at other public places. I was isolated by a couple of aquaintances in a gym and I am not sure what was the reason as we used to chat and play sports together.
This is the best open conversation I've heard on RUclips I can relate with these issues of anxiety and depression
Thankyou
Your not alone, there's a few of us. Stay strong buddy.
The free phsyc meds. come with a cost..of addiction to meds and nasty, nasty ,side affects from withdrawal.
Thankyou
@@gerofiore9695 There was a class action lawsuit, by those whose health,and lives have been ruined by these types of phsyc.meds and how long term use - unprofessional adivice by Dr.- prrscions.cauzex hutrendous problems.A warning of wisdom. Educate yourself sincerely.Shalom
I find myself relating to a lot of your videos. I'm of Italian/Sicilian background, but grew up in Scotland. I am 51 and have never worked officially since I was 27 mainly due to bipolar disorder and past bullying issues. I like your honesty and down to earth approach.
Wow, we have many things in common, do you speak Sicilian or Italian? Welcome paizanu ;)
@@gerofiore9695 My Italian is as good as my job hunting skills...well maybe a bit better....but yes I'm also into Taoism. I've never been to China, but other places in Asia.
@@silverterry75 Wow Taoism, what is it with us Italuans and Daoism? ;)
My heart goes out to you, Gerald. I truly understand the struggles of social anxiety.
Thankyou
I'm in my 50s and have worked since I left school at 17. I've dealt with trauma, PTSD and depression. Due to some shocking stuff. But made myself push through. Im at the end of a bodyguard and security management career. Taught myself to be a CV writer, so I do a lot of that working from home.
I wish you well dude
Yeh think a lot of people just push thru
@tobyjohnstone1575 yeah. I've had bouts of some time from work. Counselling, etc. 2013ish was difficult. My bro committed suicide in 2012. I kinda carried on. Saw my parents break. Then I hit the wall about a year after. That was on top of other awful stuff.
But we survive, don't we. Hope you're well?
Anxiety about what?
@therespectedlex9794 Who's that question to?
@richardfisher5508 Your good self.
I suppose what I'm getting at is that there can be particular things that keep bothering us at work, and elsewhere. The causes are often cultural, moral and political.
You came up with RUclips!
That’s a good start! 🙂
Nice video.
Thanks MysChad
I have Depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I struggle with it daily. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thanks Mary, yeah we have to try and manage it or it ends up manages or deals with us
@@gerofiore9695
Listen mate you should give DMT OR AYAUASCA
A TRY THAT WILL BLOW ANY DRUGS YOU GET FROM THE DOCTOR OUT OF THE WATER DMT & AYAUASCA ARE NOT DRUGS THEY ARE MEDICATION I WAS A DRUG ADDICT FOR YEARS UNTIL I TRIED DMT LOOK IT UP MATE BEFORE ITS TO LATE FOR YOU ❤️
Sending massive love Hugs and extra strength ❤😘
There are effective modern treatments for that - Esketamine, psychocylibin, lsd, ayuasca. Trouble is, although legal depending where, you have to pay for it. I'm trying to get my health service (not British) to pay for an Esketamine treatment. The reason you don't have easy access to this stuff is Tricky Dickie Nixon (who could do with a bit of the stuff himself IMHO) and his stupid 'war on drugs'. Enlightenment seems to be shining through the clouds now, spread the news. If I could identify properly magic mushrooms without killing myself, I'd probably try microdosing with them. Did you know if you treat Fly Agaric (the prettiest shroom), it too is hallucinogenic. There are pretty certainly YT videos on this stuff - one lady in the States dries them out then makes tea with them. Although it's probably disgusting.
I have exactly the same issues as you, I just try and get on with it. I have no other option.
Thats good ,do u get some that don't understand or don't want to understand?
@@waynesilverman3048 I generally work out what's going on
Yes keep moving moving no other choice 👍
It might have been a help if you did a physical work under the sun. Sun is good for anxiety and depression.
I love your stilish and ellegant english accent. It's a real pleasure listen to you
How do you eat without working, have you always had someone to support you? I have had crippling depression my whole life but wouldn’t eat or be able to take care of my children without working. I’ve got no one either. Driving can be anxiety producing. You interacted with that stranger just fine in this video. Bruh.
PIP
Good question, 40yrs unemployed I did try various businesses so I worked alone but not with others, ddnt claim benefits believe it or not, only now for my kids, my wife did, I was lucky I had two loving parents who supported me, I know it can be tough with depression and anxiety, I pray your situation gets better
You gave yourself away bru by saying bruh......are you one that has a braai!😅
What is pip
I suffer from anxiety and depression and find myself looking for a new job about every 2 years..while on medication. I have taken myself off medication and found natural alternatives to replace my prescriptions and I also read my bible more. And lately I felt a lot better.😇
Please share what is helping you, I have extremely terrible social anxiety/depression, can’t work. Please help me
@@livaalloliago on the carnivore diet. It's the only thing that worked for me long term. I could barely go outside before. Within a few weeks it was gone. Years later now I don't even think about it.
@@Tmate4444 thanks so much for your valuable advice 🙏🙏blessings always to you
I havent worked for 13 years due to issues i have around depression and ocd and anxiety and there have been times i felt more upbeat and should have at least volunteered with a hope of getting back to work, My mental health has been really bad this last 7 months and being out of work has not helped my mental health at all. I feel devastated by a wasted life. Its very difficult to get out of because i feel institutionalised so to speak. im 49
@@KayFabe87 I claim government benefits/ welfare
I know someone very near your age, same problems, except he never held a job and has clinical diagnosis keeping him in a mindset of beating himself down being high or drunk and demotivated. I'm sure many feel that way, but of course you are on the polar extreme so you feel it deeper. I got the 'tism and I feel those issues as well. WFH has been a dream for my kind. It is very possible to get a work from home job, but I understand the risk of getting off benefits to take that leap.
@@KayFabe87 Be in my head for 6 months and see how you feel
@@KayFabe87 not his fault that the system has been created that way. Divide and Conquer!
If you didn't worked at all for 40 years, (thats the same as haven't worked since birth), where did you get the money to buy food, car, dog, petrol? Insurance? How did you supported yourself & your wives & girlfriends lovers & 3 Children financially? Im puzzled.
Thanks for sharing. I thought I was the only one 😢
There are many, your not alone.
Ive suffered terrible social phobia my whole life low self esteem depression anxiety ocd and its made me feel worthless and like an unfit father. You feel vulnerable and like your a burden. Thanks for your story
Your not a burden my friend, I know sometimes we think like this, Ive suffered as well with low self esteem and low self confidence, I think there comes a time when the brain just gives up and says to hell with this, I think this is what happens to me at times and I just dont care anymore and this liberates me from that nagging 'Im not good enough' nagging demon inside.
@@gerofiore9695 It gets worse for me because i really avoided most of life. Ive been reliant on my wife for so long. Like having life my own way all the time. Things always scared me, bills, anything so i became room bound. I hate myself all the time for being different to everyone else, like im trying not to be part of it on purpose. It's a fucking horrible way to live.
@@weazelbeast5400 Snap! My friend you CAN get out of it though, if ever so slightly, what can happen and what happened to me is that my wife became my carer in a sense, she does the bills and paperwork, they just do my head in (it anxiety provoking and I avoid anxiety as much as I can), we are different to everybody else, maybe we can't change that, but we can become better US's, or we can become better versions of ourselves, as they say here in the UK, 'it takes all sorts', the way I see it is like this, your and My world (our worlds) have become progressively smaller and shrink to the size of your room or your own self, your body even, now imagine this as a ball, this is our comfort zone, so our job is to expand that comfort zone by a tiny amount that may seem insignificant, trust me, I have become better, Im still not 'normal' but I have improved a lot, Im trying different things and if I can come up with a protocol then I'll write it and send it to you.
But, for now ... realise that there are in the same or have been in the same boat, the expansion of that comfort zone is crucial, imagine you have like a dart board, the centre is you, the bullseye, your current comfort zone, and then another circle large than the bullseyes circle and you have lets say 6 circles before you get to the outer edge, now these are your areas of difficulty, the outer edges are impossible for you to do now, lets called them, zones, zone 1 is NOW, zone 2 is slightly out of your comfort zone and zone 6 is VERY much out of what your current comfort zone is - Lets say walking to the supermarket on your own is a level 3, i.e. too hard to do now but not impossible, you can create mini tasks to get you to that supermarket and so you can write out a task/s that you can do in zone 2 in that area, so maybe it could be ... walking to the front door, opening the door and to the gate and visualising going to the supermarket and back, zone 3 tasks may be - walking out the gate and going half way and walking back, zone 3 tasks may be going all the way to the supermarket, going through the door and coming out again and back home, and so you chop up your goals into small tasks with increasing difficulty.
Zone 6 maybe, something that you'd like to do but you thing you can never do that as your mind/anxiety limits you.
Now imagine the bullseye again, lets say north you have that supermarket goal at zone 6, south you have at zone 6 a goal of saying a speech in front of friends for 2 minutes, west at zone 6 you have another impossible goal and, east at zone 6 another 'impossible' goal, when you do one of these task or tasks you dont just expand in one area in a linear fashion but your world expands, you move towards all the other goals, without doing them, it makes sense right cause you grow in confidence generally and so those other goals become easier to reach.
The problem with relying on your wife or a carer, is that one day your carer/wife/friend/relative can be gone and then you or I are screwed and suddenly we have to deal with everything ourselves.
You dont have to do this all in one go, do this slowly, even a small task everyday is great and jot it down in a journal, maybe even make a giant 'dartboard' or circle with your current comfort zone and what you really would love to do in varying degrees of difficulty, even if you dont do anything at first, you've challenged your mind into even for a second, thinking a different way and that there is some hope in your mind.
Just try it my friend, as the ad says 'YOU are worth it', I say I believe in YOU and YOU definitely are worth it, our minds or something in there tells us we arent good enough, or bad or not deserving, you can meditate and listen to those thoughts, let them come and let them pass, the thoughts are incessant and it will feel you are dying, ITS dying, as IT cannot face the light of reality, then in normal waking hours this meditation will spill over into your life, you'll be doing the dishes and catch yourself saying 'you idiot' or 'that bitch' or 'why am I so stupid?' etc, everybody has their own demons up there, let them come and let them pass as you do in meditation, this leaves you as the observer of thoughts, bad and good, you become objective to those thoughts and separate from them, so when thoughts like 'I can't do this' come, then a new you will appear, the real YOU, you'll start to realise that all those thoughts weren't you, when you go out and feel anxious there are thoughts amongst those feelings, they will appear strong and you can let them pass if just for a second before you give in to them but this process can I believe give you control and peace over your own mind. I pray you will be okay my friend, let me know how it goes, if you want to try it that is.
@@gerofiore9695 any way to contact you more directly, if possible that is...do youtube do private messaging
@@weazelbeast5400 You can send me an email at Calogerofiore@yahoo.com
As I was listening to this video last night driving home I was surprised as it's close to my own story and also concerned as I know the backlash you will get from those out there working and utterly miserable and resentful of anyone who is not in the same situation.
Lots of people are trapped in life and in horrible jobs with horrible people , life to them is a hell and they can't wait for it to be over . They don't see the point in trying to stay healthy or whatever because life is shit anyway so what's the point , may as well smoke , may as well eat take aways .
These people are dangerous because they have not only given up hope but also any empathy for anyone else , they are defeated.
I saw what society can turn people into at a young age and vowed I would avoid it at all costs .
I've overcome alcoholism and addiction due to a traumatic childhood. Don't listen to those who say, ' So what , lots of people have traumatic childhoods and are still out there working '.
There's nothing virtuous about committing yourself to purgatory just because everyone else is there .
Be kind to yourself, love yourself and most of all protect yourself from the negativity out there at all costs .
But if everyone had your attitude and decided not to work because its purgatory then what? The country would collapse and there would be no tax paid so no benefits for anyone??
Thats true
I hear you, better to start a business, maybe even online and being control of when you work, housework and not 'go to work', so taxes get paid and your soul is happy and satisfied doing what YOU want, not what the system may want, i.e. become a consumer of stuff you never needed in the first place, I hear you mate. My parents paid a SH^T load of money in taxes, inheritance tax was massive, care home took 200K or so, now me wife is getting in on her lady tax, its called divorce, they are all maggots, Ive got almost nothing left,when I was unemployed for years I should of claimed benefit but I was too proud I thought it was wrong and lived with mum and dad and eat with them, little did I know how brutal the system is, they worked all their lives to accumulate wealth doing unskilled work, sometimes 2 or 3 jobs each, they should have taken it easy cause what they worked so hard to give their son, is GONE!!
Usually even on a disability fund your allowed to work a bit. In UK I would recommend you get work up to 800 pound a month.
You do delivery.
Seems your ok driving. This gives you something to do, accomplishment, a numerous list.
Just ideas
Im really too confident at driving and get into races, which at 57 is downright stupid, anxious when I get tailgated, but yeah at least learn how to drive, that's a plus, and I am really good at driving as well. Wow 800 a month that's really good, thankyou.
Trucker mate, crying out for 'em. Wouldn't want to share a cab with 6 German Shepherds though..
Working at a dog rescue or animal shelter could be a fantastic job for you I think.
Excellent idea!
Or a dog walker?
Dog rescue? are u kidding?! Imagine having to deal with animals suffering every day or going to see an animal that has been brutally mistreated... that could stick in your mind forever, it's horrible it's traumatizing!! I wish people to understand that anxiety disorders are not something easy to deal with, for those looking from the outside it may seem like no big deal But for those who have it, it's like struggle with it every day, it's difficult and tiring.
@@giovanirafael Im not minimising how Gerald may be feeling. And you could be right - in that it may not be the right thing for him to work in a dog rescue/shelter. We don't know though what effect it would have on the man in this video. Spending time with the dogs there, giving them love, feeling like he is making a difference and being able to use his knowledge of dogs and dog training there maybe could make him feel good, give him a sense of purpose. And most will feel sad and upset, even traumatised, seeing dogs in distress and having been mistreated - but wouldn't you prefer to help them after all they have been through rather than just leaving them to their own devises?
Anxiety doesn't prevent him being a youtuber or being married and having kids, just working. A lot of jobs now u can work from home.
@writingpad7142 I don't understand why people have children either when they can't afford them. I wouldn't have brought my kids up on benefits.
Each to their own I guess.
RUclips is working from home I think, also I didn't want to get married cause of social anxiety (phobia) so I got married in a registry office, so this is why youtube is a good option for me, I had a youtube channel for 5yrs but didn't make much money at all,
@@karenrobinson129 I had kids when i could afford them, I didn't claim the dole for most of my unemployment
@gerofiore9695 Wow!! You lived off one wage. Hats off to you. When my man died, I took on extra jobs to pay the bills.
Most disabled people are entitled to PIP. I believe it was called DLA before. People who are physically disabled see this as a god send as they need the help getting around.
It's a very worrying time at the moment for people on PIP who have had strokes,chronic arthritis in their legs,feet, etc.
This is England..it's a lot more difficult here in the USA for people with disabilities; it's like they have a version of Hitlers T4 program going. Honestly I believe if there was a way to hide it..the US would implement that..really sad.
The feeling of being alone must have been hard, my friend. I know this channel will allow you to reach others. You will give so much fulfilment to others. I spent 7 years in intermittent pseudo jobs. I still haven't found a job where I haven't been subjected to the whims of controlers. Interviews are just horrible. I have always tried to be non judgmental; suddenly, I'm in front of a group of people judging everything about me. It's hard to accept rejection gracefully. I feel your pain. Jobs have been rubbish, and I have an unfulfilled one still. The key is connecting with a partner in this world... someone who believes in you; Then stability and personal growth can allow you to tolerate this sold-out chaotic existence.
I was very confident when my mum was alive, as you said, she believed in me,when she passed i had to become a big boy, I never made though, or haven't met anybody anywhere near her, not to support me but just the basics, i.e. not to put me down at least. Your words are true my friend, sorry you had to endure my old videos, they are more cringe than these new ones, hehe
Thanks for sharing your story.
I struggle with social anxiousness also. I like the way you tell your story in an honest, unfiltered way with no rambling about unnecessary stuff. I hope your situation with the mental health is improves and good things come your way.
I think you need to be able to laugh at yourself and not take yourself or others too seriously, life is one big crazy mess and no one knows more than the next person no matter how much they pretend or act like they do, just have fun
If you can sustain yourself, you living your best life, no need to make your hobbies into work.
Just do whatever u want for yourself and other people.
People with their question lol, whenever you get asked what do you do, or what do you want say - live.I live.
Somethimes thinking too much can stop you from doing things. So kinda need to switch up thinking and doing.
Im 50 too … dont know what I want to do …. But must work …. So I apply for jobs I think I can do and hopefully wont HATE … thats the strategy I think. I dont think ‘will I be happydoing this ‘…. Or ‘will I be happy doing this for the rest of my life ‘….. just …. ‘Can I do it ….Without hating every second…? ‘ If the answer is ‘yes ‘…. Then apply. 😊
@@Shopgirl2000 great attitude. Wishing you success and happiness 😊
Good for you for making the effort. Had to work all my life…hated every minute, but didn’t have a choice.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. As a person with lifelong persistent depressive disorder I can very much relate. I've always felt like an outsider and at odds with the system, particularly the toxic work environment that so many suffer within. I hope you find a little peace, a bit of catharsis in making these videos and sharing with others.
Same Situation, got better started working but 3yr into it I got stalked at my job , horrendous ordeal .which then led to 2yr court cases. This has left me terrified to be outside without an electric scooter it’s my getaway . Put on meds and left to deal with aftermath. I’m still suffering the last court case was 2019 . Scared to talk to anyone incase it’s taking the wrong way .
Man that is terrible, it has so much to do with power abuse.
Hello Gerald and all. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I have been disabled since an RTA 31 years ago, it was a life changing time for me and has meant that I am unable to maintain a normal working life. I suffer with social anxiety too and appreciate hearing your insight. The fast pace of modern life is likely to leave most people behind at some point especially those with extra daily challenges. I hope your channel continues to grow and allow others to make sense of the world and themselves. Live life the best you can and it is probably more than good enough. Be well and cheers!
security guard on a night shift you will see nobody and can be your own boss.
Sounds an ok job.
Sounds like unhealed trauma. My story sounds virtually the same. I thought it was social anxiety/depression but I’ve discovered that it’s unhealed trauma (CPTSD). Tried to heal it over and over but now ended up with chronic fatigue on top of it.
I've been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, I've lost 30 years of my best years, this sounds a lot like me Gerald, God bless sir.
You are strong man. Nothing wrong with you. I learn a lot from your life. Sometimes in life we need to be vulnerable. There is power in vulnerability and sensitivity.
I’m really enjoying your videos, I relate a lot .
I was sent to see a clinical psychologist some years ago at the Royal Free hospital.. he was utterly useless and lacking in any sort of empathy whatsoever.
There is criminal negligence going on where mental health is concerned.
Thank you for this video.
I agree, is that the Royal Free in Hampstead? I used to love taking my dog to Hampstead Heath
Yes it is .. the modern looking ( 1970s building) overlooking the Heath .
@@MrLetmein2011 I took my Dad there to have his knee operated on, I remember going for the measly 4 or5 sessions of CBT they used to offer on the NHS in Willesden, I recall looking at this therapist and could see his body distorting and getting bigger, it was my attempt to focus as I was bored out of my head, another wonderful lady therapist in Brent, I was so desperate and crying and thinking I was dying as I had terrible fears of cancer, and she just sat there saying 'hmmm ... that's must be terrible living like that' no real emotion or feeling
Therapy is very overrated Gero , it was sold as a cure all for the last 30 years. There are good therapist out there but they are few and far between.
I also saw a clinical psychologist eventually and it was no help. It was CBT based and she just kept asking me what were you thinking and how did that make you feel. Lots of photocopy sheets to take away and read too.
You're not alone mate I've never known what I want to do / felt like I belonged in this world. Been working all my life had multiple kinds of jobs hated them all
I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder & BPD, and like you have never felt I fit in with society, or had a desire to.
Social anxiety (and the trauma that causes it) really does make you feel like a defective individual.
I built a business from the only things I love (art & animals) from home and help people online too; this helps me to feel less isolated from society, but at a safe distance, but avoid in person opportunities like the plague which has no doubt hindered me a lot.
I wish you all the best. 🙏
I don't understand how people still eat and have a car and live without a job...or at least some way to make money. I never worked because i wanted to, it was because i had to,.
Rich parents
@@KetoCarnivoreLifestyle what you and this narrator in the video is not aware that his parents are rich because of him born in his parents family
Im not sure shyness or feeling embarrassed like that in situation like you describe and feeling uncomfortable, often doesnt really go away for many of us (bar the extreem confident).
You so supportive xx
Beautiful german shephard 🐕 Best loyal friend you could ever ask for. Take good care of him peace 🕊️
I was in crazy pain for more than a decade and doctors couldn't fix it (much better now only because of way of eating, trial and error and online research), but I still have severe insomnia and anxiety. I don't know how to get a job and my side businesses didn't work either. I wish you the best.
Sorry to hear that Fabio, I still have insomnia and am experimenting with diets to see which can work, I'm trying Carnivore but super carb craving, I find it hard to stick to things for long, maybe an adhd tendency.
@@gerofiore9695I'm also sorry you still have insomnia.
It's hard for me as well to stick to a routine or change.
I started with a ketogenic diet and now between carnivore and keto. What I do is keep a log of macro nutrients everyday using an app/website... I eat dark chocolate 80% cocoa everyday and it's difficult to stop it. I went for 9 years drinking no soft drink and this year started to drink coke zero (no sugar) again.
Have you tried electrolytes like magnesium, potassium, salt? It might not help with insomnia but with other things.
Take care!
Thank you for your honesty. I've stopped driving, recognise that feeling of being pushed by traffic.
So how have you managed for money? You have a wife and children, you can clearly function socially. If you've been living on benefits, it's a good example of them being harmful apart from as short-term support. Having no option but to deal with your issues in order to survive (although very challenging) would have forced you to grow and develop and build skills and attitudes necessary to function well.
@@_bulentyyep an absolute victim. Can't see what he got, time to sit on his lazy arse making victim videos cnut.
You could do deliveries or something like that. Lots of jobs you can do with no experience if you drive.
Ive tried driving jobs in the past, to be honest I cant work for a boss after so many years, Im not reliable with my mental and physical health issues, i.e. I cant promise that I will be able to make it at work every day so Im not a good candidate as a worker or driver, it sounds like an excuse for those who dont understand what mental health problems can do to you, in respect to not being 'normal', but yea I tried driving or delivery work and crashed my own car tat same day, delivering a parcel in Watford, didn't get paid for the job as well :)
Well I ca,nt drive .Was unemployed a lot in the 1980,s so can sympathise,
@@gerofiore9695 security guard on a night shift you will see nobody and can be your own boss.
"even criminals have a job" - made me laugh
Instead of running away from these uncomfortable social situations, you should of put yourself in more of them. I totally understand that it feels alien to confront what you really feel is your worst nightmare. But it really does help.
You have obviously heard the saying "To face your fears".
I utterly empathise. Intense untreated social anxiety in my teens led to a whole lot of avoidance and problems which are really knocking me for 6 in my 50s.
I get a very strong impression that Betty's keeper is on the spectrum! High functioning... masking as best he can... but suffering. Everything and I mean everything I've heard so far dovetails perfectly with such a diagnosis. If so repeated exposure/CBT is of little therapeutic value as it's a neurological problem. It's more like putting your hand in the fire and not learning the first time! There may be other strategies that might help. I recommend Betty's keeper get this evaluated via a GP referral.. I could be wrong but the hallmarks are there
@@thesleepstate I have no idea what high functioning means but will ask my doc when I see her, thankyou.
Not that easy...
@@113msaunders Nobody said it is but everybody sometimes has to do things what are out of their comfort zone . If everyone fell at the first hurdle then what ? There must be times when the Therapist/Doctor wakes up in the morning feeling that they can't face another patient but still get out of bed and do their bit .
I suffer with anxiety too my friend. And believe me if you’re not wanting to be around society I can totally understand that.! Iv been on meds for the same length of time still work full time but it’s hard most times unfortunately.!! I’d gladly swap today’s life for a life away from this aggressive nasty way of life.?
I dont know how you can manage taking meds AND working, that's great my friend.
Should have been a shrink..
I’d be no good as a shrink.!! Iv needed them a few times over the years myself.! I suffer with anxiety too and it’s not good.
It’s been a big struggle and still is to be honest.!! I suffer with anxiety too which doesn’t help at all. I need to shut myself away most of my free time and Iv got into a cycle of it. It helps me when I’m on my own.👍
Little secret - shrinks have to see other shrinks. Jeez, wouldn't you?
Good video. I understand where you're coming from. I like the video dynamic of your car and your dog
Thank you, maybe I should do that again, maybe a channel that focuses on another topic, I like the walking video in the first person footage and my own voice-over, talking about various subjects, I may do this, thanks that was good feedback ;)
@@gerofiore9695 no problem. i think your mix of personal life type vlogs and videos about your dog mix well
I got by in college and work on alcohol, if your good at it no one knows, that or they don't care if the work is done, it's the only thing that worked for freeing my mindset from constant worry, stress and noise and gave me amazing false confidence, under the fog of booze I didn't give a shit I was free and functioned perfectly I had it down to an art form, trouble is it's not sustainable health wise and it's wrecked me, but I am thankful as now I realise I am a moron and the fact I lived my life concerned about what others thought of me shows how pathetic I was.
Your definitely not pathetic ( look up empath videos on RUclips) you will probably find your exactly what they describe. & if your over 40, times were really different for us, ( as in no RUclips to instantly share our fears & experiences. ❤
If you consume caffeinated beverages, you might want to stop. Caffeine can cause anxiety big time, especially as we get older☝🏻😌 and there seams to be more than a few buying you coffee(stress in a cup)!
On the upside …… you are working now!!! You are a RUclipsR 😀😀!!
Have you heard that song, On The Upside? Cool song from the 80's, oh hehe ... a youtube, my kids will like that.
@@gerofiore9695 Aaah no - had never heard of it! Just looked it up. Yes I bet they will find that very cool having a RUclipsR for a dad!! 😂
Gerald, I had anxiety. For 30years. I got citalopram from my docter andi never had anxiety again. 1 pill a dag. No side effects
I had the same CBT about 20 years ago. I found it very useful. The few sessions are intended to teach you how to apply it yourself. I definitely suggest you get off all medication. Eat meat and saturated animal fat. Ignore the so-called diet advice (intended to feed cereal/processed crap co profits). When I started eating beef, bacon, eggs, butter, using dripping for cooking and not eating grains such a bread, cereals, etc I felt like I was ageing backwards and my brain started working at last.
Thanks mate have to try that Carni diet proper
Lovely German Shepherd you have. He clearly is your best friend looking after you. Id love a German Shepherd.
6?
I have suffered with depression since the loss of my grandfathers to which i was very close to both of them. they both died in 2002. Iam currently taking Sertraline and Quetiapine. I wish i could be hypnotized or reprogrammed so that i can be myself again, Whilst this sounds crazy thats how it is for me.
If I find a way I'll tell you mate, some ppl are more hypnotizable than others, my next door neighbour in London was a heavy smoker for decades then went to see a hypnotherapist and stopped smoking, it can work, not always but it can, I will try on myself, I know a bit about, two times int he day you are more hypnotizable or shall I say your mind is in a state whereby suggestions can be put into your subconscious mind, just when you are waking up and as you are about to drift to sleep, by saying things like 'I am no longer depressed, I am now my happy self again' but some say that negative suggestions may not work so they say to avoid them, so you could say 'I am happy and have stopped taking meds, I am at peace and cheerful every day', I don't know works best but look into it, you can write them out and keep them with you as goals, you can say them out loud etc
Sorry for the loss of your lovely Grandfathers, I knowhow horrible it can be, Im going through it myself with my lovely Dad passing
I also have cystic fibrosis that gets me down
Great-2, Meet U; &thanx, 4-Ur Compelling- Story, of Triumph!
Your right on your interpretation of the actors in society, its hard work sometimes, but there are also people you can have a laugh with.
Thank you for being candid ,and is ooening the doors foy better understanding..
Cbt works. You have to push your self out of your comfort zone. Relaxation/meditation techniques. Cut alcohol and caffeine down. I was housebound for months. I still get anxious but have to push through. We all live our life within the confines of fear.
I really like people who just check out of this dam society! It is not sustainable for almost 8 billion people!
Really identify with all you say I suffer with much of what you do. I shut myself off, rather more than I ought to. The thing is I just do not trust people, I lost all trust through being taken for all I had, and being told lies and so on.
Now I trust just myself and two friends I have ( now only online) as I moved away from where I used to live as my late husband died 9 years ago. Could say so much more, but do not want to overshare here.
I used to get extremely anxious when being followed in my car....especially at night
I’m 51 and I haven’t had a job for 20 years due to a similar situation. Now employers think I’m unemployable but I think I am.
@sarah-kk4om Wow!! Did they say that to you? Contact your council. They all have someone in them who helps people back into work. Pip, as you know, is making changes to help people in your position. Hopefully, they will help you get your life back and into work. Good luck.
@@karenrobinson129 thanks for the advice. Employers don’t say I’m unemployable directly but that is the impression I get as they always reject me. The help for people like me isn’t really there. They have something I went to once but it was hopeless and of no help.
@@karenrobinson129why bother working🤔
@@misscoutts6193 It feels like that for quite a few people.
I had false accusations which are still partially dogging me 900 days since. I was 14 months in shock but got a job as a screw. Then they found out about it and nasty asides started. Also any minor errors I made were used against me so I had to resign. I failed detective, failed fake cop and failed post person. Then prison driver said yes but I will fail on the check. Then bus said yes. So studying the theory all day and got 87,87,89. I do feel like giving up but I have that f you feeling and kids to feed and a mortgage and bills and a hard working wife. However my brother is like you. He opted out in ‘91. Lovely guy but drinks at 11 to 3.
Also, if pulled in you get 7 points and possible ban for dangerous driving. Also, you have to pass a driving test and your insurance will rocket
You will find it hard to find an insurance company who will take you on.
Wow, thanks mate, I didn't realize 7 points!!
Failure =Rejecting- JhezUs! Faith/Christizin= Triumph!
I am 54 and my friend i am right with you in so many ways it was freaking me out i have to say thanks i am not alone your not alone the anxiety depression thing has made the same impact on me.
Thank you for sharing. I think you have ADHD. I have many of the same problems you mentioned, but I work full-time. Every day is a struggle for me. I am seeking an ADHD diagnosis to help sort out my life. I'm over 40 now.
Wow, really, I think many have said this in my videos, how can you work full time? Thats amazing, I think I will let me doc know when I see her
It’s all about adaptability. Not over indulging in the good times or getting to down during the bad times. Survive and thrive 🤙
Getting better is just a decision away.
Medication for over 20yrs and like you cbt they wanted me to go with 12 others in a room and i have social anxiety you cant make it u ❤️🙏🦋💚
Yh exactly
I was literally just about to write "have you ever been hypnotized?" the moment you began talking about self-hypnosis. What a trip! I'm a hypnotist. I do entertainment hypnosis and hypnotherapy alike. About 1 in 6 people are what we refer to as 'somnambulists' - these are folks who are prone to deep hypnosis with spontaneous amnesia (the easiest population to hypnotize). If you answer the criteria, you could benefit a lot from it.
your anxiety and depression might be a by product of an underlying mental health issue that you may not know you have for example im 32 ive had anxiety and depression since as far back as i can remember taking every anxiety and depression pill on the nhs but little did i know i was autistic and have adhd now diagnosed i realised that the condition affected my mood and emotions my relationship with my friends loved ones and society as whole i look completely normal on the outside but internally im a mess and i ware a mask when i have to be social but i think you should explore the fact that you might have other mental conditions that might be effecting your moods that are coursing anxiety and the depression.
Many have brought this up, some have said something about high functioning, adhd, ads I think, I have never looked into what those terms even mean, I thought they were hyper kids at school, children I mean
@@gerofiore9695 I think it's very likely you have Inattentive (or combined) type ADHD. I've watched a few of your vids now and have been thinking this very thing. You match alot of the symptoms. Hyper kids stuff is the hyperactive type of ADHD (there's 3 types but it's all labelled under the ADHD name these days). I seriously suggest you look it up.... It could be really important, since the self help videos/path to recovery with depresssion is different when you have ADHD! So much of the struggles you describe in this video and others are explained by either ADHD, Autism (ASD) or a mix of both, colloqually referred to as 'AUDHD'. After being undiagnosed for so long, you might also find help from watching the complex PTSD vids (that condition results from the trauma of neurodivergent people failing at life, and being rejected over and over) There's lots of helpful videos out there! Don't give up hope buddy, keep up the good work on the vids, stay strong, your brain can indeed be fixed like a leg! (sort of!) XD
@@KainLowsta Wow, you are very knowledgable, this is all new to me, I always thought I had social anxiety and depression, youguys have taught me more than any doc has in the past 30yrs, thankyou
Get a few more opinions, you might be surprised. I think your mono/unipolar like me, which makes me a miserable git all the time.
Perhaps there are groups that meet rhve the same issues as yourself where you could compare notes and see how others have overcome this or found improvement in getting along in general. You are not alone mental health issues are very common today. My own thoughts are that a change in diet for better health would be a significant help. Also if you are in a bookstore they may have a section under essays where you would find books on people who have recovered from various traumas.
wow, I got stressed out the same with a car on my bumper 'pushing me ahead against my will'. Thought I was the only one
How do you pay for stuff
I am not suffering from any of these things. I am grateful that one tadpole fertilised the egg from all those millions to bring me into existence. This life is like a room with an entrance and an exit, but while you are here, live your life to the full and forget over analysing everything .
It's easy to say without a chemical imbalance
I love your statement and there’s a lot of truth in it. I have been suffering from severe depression due to my toxic family. Plus: I tend to overthink everything. It’s a challenge for some of us to overcome patterns.
@ClaraM-lr5kh do something different every day so you come out of your thinking habit . One way is to listen to audio books with volume above your thoughts. Every day is a new beginning.
@@beastman.330 ❤️
feel like this is me
Thanks for the comment Maxx, I didnt realise so many people feel the same, I thought I was the only one, really.
Lovely Betty is being charming and participative in all these living in car videos ☺️.
When I was young, I was so self-conscious, onion-skinned, and painfully shy. Now, I simply don't care much what people say. I do what I have to do with caution as not to get in other people's way.
You like driving and are good at it. Maybe you can make use of that skill and interest. I know it's awkward to ask this but I still wonder why you haven't discussed so far the factor of having a family and the number of children you were going to have influenced your decisions and plans in the past.
We can leave the past and focus on what we can do to ameliorate our condition. You are still young, energetic, and in fairly good health.
Stay safe
Oh about my family, I didn't plan even to get married, my ex said she was shocked when she knew I was going to get married, marriage in China was easy, juts go into a room and sign some papiers and take a photo, if it was in church with loads of people having to do the dance and everybody watching it would have been much ore stressful.
Oh so why did I get married, I wanted to tell you off RUclips so I gave you my email I think. But, here goes - I split up from my gf at the time and she called me back saying she was pregnant and so I did the right thing and got married, the other kids? I don't know how they were conceived to be honest, my wife must have been ultra fertile seeing as we were 'together' only 3 times and she conceived twice and practised 'safe' methods, so I think your question is or kind of, if you know your situation then why have kids and get married if I cant sustain a family?
I didn't have any intention to get married, my gf now wife kind of pushed me into it, even in the taxi on the way to the office to get married I felt like vomiting and felt sick, I said please lets stop it and she laughed and said her brother in law had the same feelings, we got married and things seemed well for a time but things went stale pretty quick, there was no more romantic love apart from those 3 meetings where 2 kids were conceived, I suppose I have a very good conceptions rate 2 kids out of 3 goes is not bad, if you ant to have loads of kids.
I love my kids a lot tho, my wife is like my sister, no holding hands, no hugging, just friends I suppose, she even said I should find a women to hug and kiss etc as she wont do it, she's just not that kind of person, I say to her why the F*** did you get me to marry you then? Initially it was for the child so she would have a dad around, but then when the novelty wore off, her true character came out, a communist coldness of certain Chines ladies I suppose set in.
At time wonder whether she was pregnant or not, I mean she could have said that to get me back then really get pregnant, I dont know, I did ask her that and she said no she really was. She knew I had money and so security for her and her future children, this is called Hypergamy or the idea that a woman wont look at you unless you have money or potential to make money, I have the first one via my parents but not the latter, so now Im becoming more and more less attractive as money dwindles and I dont have the power to earn, hey maybe I can make a video about this subject? Hehe ;)
@@gerofiore9695 Thank you for telling me your story. Now I have an idea what happened and how you got to have many kids in spite of the circumstances.
Gero, you never gave me your email, did you? If you're on Facebook, corresponding on messenger is more convenient. Plus you will get to know my name and the real me. But sure, give me your email, too 😊.
@@themarjoriedeleon I dont really use FB, twitter etc, sometimes I may use whatsap, I 'll give you my email for now, its calogerofiore(at)yahoo(dot)com
I wrote it this way as youtube has a tendency to delete links
@@gerofiore9695 Thank you for giving me your email. Neither do I use Twitter nor Whatsapp. Hope you reconsider FB, just for the messenger. It's the most convenient way of messaging. 🙂
@@themarjoriedeleon I wonder if penpals still exist, snail mail is great, lets stop all this social media and write tp each other again.
Nobody knows what this is like unless they suffer with it I can relate to this dogs are very in tune to how you feel one solid thing I’ve learnt is you can waste half of your life worrying what other people think and they move on and haven’t wasted one thought on you you live and learn
10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. 11For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread. 13 But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. 14 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 - 3:14
i love the angle with the dog
I'm 55 and i'm the same mate, could never hold down a job because of anxiety. I have to look for a job soon and no fckin idea what im gonna do.
I hope you can, good luck man
This guy is the best.
Dear Gerald, this is all I can tell you. We can't control others or how they act or external events. We can only control our reactions to them.
We can think ourselves well and we can think ourselves ill.
Everything we need to heal or destroy ourselves is in our mind and body.
Some unsolicited advice;
I would suggest reading the Tao Te Ching and looking into quotes and teachings of stoicism. There's a lot of wisdom there to meditate upon.
Noone can help you but yourself. And you can do it. I live in Asia, I've seen people with no legs and no wheelchair make a living for themselves and I've seen worse.
Be gentle with yourself, friend. Hold life gently in the palm of your hand.
all me, I can totally see myself in this🥴🤒I just still haven't recovered
Really? Have you been unemployed long-term as well and for the same reason? Wow, then Im not the only one.
@@gerofiore9695 I have a job, it's not that easy to get government support for social phobia, I'm more like I'm just going through life, avoiding people, shopping only online...
@@SILENTHIL Please brother listen to me, do RUclips videos, it will teach you to come out of yourself, although I avoid people I think I can talk to people and not be as afraid as before, it will teach you how your brain thinks about you, I keep thinking I look ugly and awkward etc, now that voice is smaller and I say so what? Its not like its not there, its there but has kind of exhausted itself, I'll support you, I want to see that video, imagine you are making it for me or a family member.
There's no support here for social phobia or social anxiety apart from drugs.
@@gerofiore9695 buddy, thank you for your videos you don't even know how I recognize myself in them, it's killing me to go to work every day and see how others treat me like an idiot, giggling on the side but I can feel and see them, it's so humiliating and I still have problems with blushing, I blush very easily, it's a lifelong struggle, thank you for the advice
@@SILENTHIL Do you work in an office? i dont know what to say, you are doing more than I am, you at least go to work with people so thats already a plus, I wish I could go to work with you and talk to those laughing at you and try and understand them, do they giggle at specific events, maybe you blush and they giggle when they see you go red?
I would have thought that if you become red and they laugh then after a while it shouldn't be funny anymore, ie. the joke gets old or stale, Ive given up and become the idiot, infact I have another channel I will call maybe Mr Idiot where I do some really stupid things, hehe.
I can totally relate, sounds like my life, such a struggle to keep going, definitely understand.
Awesome-Dude! The Screamer= FEARZJHEZuS!
And I had the trauma of a very dysfunctional childhood, then my child disabled by NHS for which we are still battling to get a recognition and still I am going to work everyday with a chronic illness too and paying you to wallow in self pity. Yes I recognise depression and anxiety are real illnesses but if you don't work for that long you would be depressed and your wife and child wouldn't respect you. I hope you volunteer at least. As a woman myself I wouldn't respect a husband who doesn't work unless he is severely disabled.
You sound like a right hag I don't think no one would have you anyway 😂
@@christislord2832 I am glad that your husband does all he can, I don't judge a disabled person as I said above but somebody who is not even trying would get on my nerves.
Very handsome man and I understand an empathise with all you say ❤❤
Yeah, speaking as an objective hetero male, you certainly don't need a bag over your head ;-)
I was in a similar situation, l got a night crew job and eventually moved to days but l was blessed to have good managers.
Hi Gerald,I just came across your channel.
I just wanted to tell you you're not alone.
I'm 54 and I have been dealing with this since 1997,I was 26 at the time.
I had a sinus infection and my body went crazy,rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, fatige, feeling like I'm going to pass out , sweaty palms and feat ,intolerance to heat.
Just generally feeling crappy.
I've had so many medical tests done, the tests keep saying I'm healthy as a horse.
I feel I'm being poisoned sometimes.
I think it could be vitamin / mineral deficiency.Not sure though.
It might be that we're more awake to the world around us/more in tune.
I was aware of the marriage scam towards men at an early age.
Then when they came out with the poke a few years ago I was like no way am I taking that!
I just tell myself everything happens for reason,God has a plan.
One day the pain will be gone.
How do you pay to live and provide for your family? Thanks for bringing light to this issue. 🙏
@@ddub2801a lot of nasty people in the workplace.
Imagine if the economy collapsed completely, then we would all be subject to the "forced charity" of human whim and reciprocity! Oh, the rugged individualist horror!
Stay strong ❤️
you are actually a really funny guy. Keep being you. I bet you'd be good working with animals, and, or a tour guide. Even though you don't like being around people I bet you'd be a good tour guide. you are an honest person and sometimes that is enough.
❤love your Volgs I'm soo sorry as your going through soo much 💔 😢 But just know your Amazing and Please 🙏🏼 know your going to Get through this Storm😘👌
Thankou Melissa
Greetings from the USA. I like that lifestyle as I’ve been unemployed myself for a few months now in the US. How do you pay your bills over 30 years without a job? How do you access health care with no insurance from an employer unless you live in a universal health care country? How do you afford housing? Any answers and tips on how to do it would be nice. Thank you. 👍🏻
Gerald you have been bought up in a harsh society. People back then were very hard and uneducated.Your stories are very similar to mine,I was compared to my cousins as they were doing the so called right thing.Grew up in Brixton watching dracula the werewolf and frankenstein.Now 53 feels a strange world to when I was young playing run outs and knock down ginger.But you can't waste your life Gerald hope and wish u all the luck
I get u g 👍👍👍
Don't take this the wrong way but how can you afford to live if you don't work? I suffer with depression and anxiety and I've pretty much shut myself off from the rest of the world to keep myself safe but I still have to go to work to feed myself and keep a roof above my head. If I didn't have to see the people with whom I work it would make life so much easier, I literally dread the thought of going to work because some of them are so awful. I've had months of CBT but it was a complete waste of time - they just told me to think differently. It was fucking useless.
Can you get on disability or benefits I would try for your depression and anxiety good luck.
Ive always had parental support. At my age i feel infantalized. Its compensation for years of neglect and abuse. I appreciate the help but i wish i had been forced to work rather than retreat. I admire your courage in working
You don't have to drive at the speed on the road sign. That's just the legal maximum. You can driveat 20 mph if you wish. Let the tailgater over take you.