What happens when a narcissist doesn't get their way? | The Narcissists' Code Ep 919

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
  • what happens when a narcissist doesn't get their way? How do narcissists act when they dont get what they want.
    Channel Memberships For More perks- / @mentalhealness
    Official- www.mentalheal...
    Remember, it's not your fault (Kid's Book) - a.co/d/2WNtdKJ
    Self Love Journal - a.co/d/70L3zKb
    Brand Shop - i-am-self-love...
    Cameo/Shoutouts - www.cameo.com/...
    Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
    The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
    Website - www.mentalhealness.net
    1 on 1's and all my links - beacons.page/m...
    Weekly Newsletter - subscribepage.io/mentalhealness
    Thank you so much

Комментарии • 283

  • @kayleycazley5629
    @kayleycazley5629 10 месяцев назад +179

    When they don't get there way they either rage, have tantrums, do the silent treatment, get emotional, try to kill or ghost you. Protect your self and wellbeing at all times🙏

    • @bonniemorgan7215
      @bonniemorgan7215 10 месяцев назад +14

      All of the above 😢

    • @GodsObedientChild-Deuteron6262
      @GodsObedientChild-Deuteron6262 10 месяцев назад +2

      Very much AGREED💯✨♥️

    • @csibiedit8046
      @csibiedit8046 10 месяцев назад

      I know narcissists who got all in their childhood, if you say no you put your life in danger.Say no if you have witnesses , somebody to call the ambulance.

    • @camilliagaines1436
      @camilliagaines1436 9 месяцев назад

      Agree

    • @michellecaldwell8383
      @michellecaldwell8383 9 месяцев назад +3

      Mine puts all the blame on me, calls me bad names, has cut cable lines, popped my tires, put there hands on me, and talks about me like a dog and acts like he never does anything wrong. He also pretty much lives in his car, has no bills and uses everyone in his life for what he needs. And he appreciates nothing, and hides everything in his life,he tells me don't ask, don't worry about it, but always ask where I am and what I'm doing.

  • @LeAnne-uw3wp
    @LeAnne-uw3wp 10 месяцев назад +74

    They don't like it when you stand up for yourself

    • @IsabellaPiesch
      @IsabellaPiesch 7 месяцев назад +4

      They don´t like that you have an own personality.

  • @wave8867
    @wave8867 10 месяцев назад +39

    Silent treatment, ghosting.
    Passive-aggressiveness.

  • @stephanietorba5427
    @stephanietorba5427 10 месяцев назад +63

    Finally, someone talks about the fact that not all narcissists are created through trauma

    • @4Mikes4Mindset4
      @4Mikes4Mindset4 10 месяцев назад +2

      Big distinction 🎯

    • @inagupta7173
      @inagupta7173 10 месяцев назад +4

      Yes! Thank you! I have dealth with 2 narcissist in last one year and I learnt the same thing from both of them. That arrogance and their stubbornness is more from the fact that they were never told NO from their parents. And they actually take pride in it that we have been raised with so much love and affection!

  • @meganengland3252
    @meganengland3252 10 месяцев назад +39

    They tantrum like toddlers and rage out, seethe with contempt and/or escalate manipulation tactics until the person caves.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  10 месяцев назад +5

      ‼️‼️

    • @Wildheart4331
      @Wildheart4331 10 месяцев назад +8

      Yep, mine coerced me to sleep with him very early on in the relationship. I wasn’t ready yet, but he was whining and throwing a tantrum about it. I just wanted him to shut up because we were at my sister’s house. I broke up with him maybe two days later. Then he coerced me back into the relationship, but he never let me forget that I broke up with him. He always held it against me. Well, guess what? I broke up with him for the last time last July and left him in the dust. It’s been a year and 3 months since our breakup. I made it final by blocking him everywhere bc I was so used to him reeling me back in. It’s hard, but you have to choose yourself. Narcissists will never be satisfied with everything you do for them. They take you for granted and also make YOU the problem.

    • @jeanniek1498
      @jeanniek1498 9 месяцев назад +1

      ​@jp4331
      Correction.... They will never be Happy with (Anything) you do for them. They Appreciate Nothing ever.
      Glad you left, and are doing well. Good Job. Now Heal Yourself.

  • @anonymousavatar57
    @anonymousavatar57 10 месяцев назад +52

    They get mad and furious, and can even kill. Narcissistic rage kicks in, . That's what I experienced!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  10 месяцев назад +7

      💯💯

    • @BeautifulSoul801
      @BeautifulSoul801 10 месяцев назад +5

      Yep! I was threatened because I said no to sex with a man I had never even met in person. Thanks for outing yourself. Glad I never met him.

    • @jeanniek1498
      @jeanniek1498 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@BeautifulSoul801
      O.M.G. was you being sold into slavery for sex?

    • @BeautifulSoul801
      @BeautifulSoul801 9 месяцев назад +3

      @@jeanniek1498 No telling with him. He’s the malignant type, but we met online and had never met in person. He wanted us to make a baby the first time we met… So, needless to say we didn’t meet and that was the last conversation we had. Crazy!

    • @Ghost960RedBull
      @Ghost960RedBull 8 месяцев назад +3

      I was hit on the head with a phone and second time a rock by my ex and gave me a 3 year tinnitus injury

  • @Zuziewoozie
    @Zuziewoozie 9 месяцев назад +8

    Hahahhaha if you’re afraid to lose somebody before you even know who they are, you’re not afraid of losing somebody you’re afraid of being alone. PREACH 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 genius and on the spot wow 👏👏👏

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  9 месяцев назад +2

      🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @LoveahmakeyaCrazay
    @LoveahmakeyaCrazay 9 месяцев назад +6

    It’s like being forced to do something you don’t wanna do..

  • @AngiePeery
    @AngiePeery 3 месяца назад +5

    The reason why your stomach gets upset is because your digestive system is hooked to your nervous system!!

  • @nicolebeard6051
    @nicolebeard6051 10 месяцев назад +29

    If my ex-husband didn’t get what he wanted, it was usually silent treatment or other forms of passive aggression. He slammed doors, for example. When I confronted him, I was met with anger.

  • @shucingjhuang2287
    @shucingjhuang2287 10 месяцев назад +16

    Everybody hurts someday. Being hurt is not an excuse to abuse someone.
    My ex's steps: Blame> gaslighting> lash out > short love bombing + finding a new supply > slient treatment > discard+gaslighting > post-seperation abuse + flaunting the new supply

  • @AnastasiaLimanto-io2kw
    @AnastasiaLimanto-io2kw 10 месяцев назад +43

    I did say no if necessary in the beginning of our relationship. His reaction was he said “I like it that you don’t say yes to everything like my past gf.” 😏 Of course he said that, because he was still pursuing me at that time. After we got married, it was a whole different story.

    • @jacobpodolsky2649
      @jacobpodolsky2649 9 месяцев назад +5

      That’s exactly what mine said. They even said it turned them “on” when I said no. But that’s so far from reality. And here I am being deprived over a year after saying no to them.

    • @jeanniek1498
      @jeanniek1498 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@jacobpodolsky2649
      Time to get out. Be careful and protect yourself.

    • @mearis8133
      @mearis8133 7 месяцев назад +1

      Mine did the same thing! After marriage, it was a different story. Also passive aggressive with silent treatment thrown in.

    • @barbaraseccombe2421
      @barbaraseccombe2421 6 месяцев назад +2

      No is like a red flag. Previously he ignored it and kept on as if he did not hear it. Finally he had to but claimed HE ended it and i should not bother him as he did not want to even talk to me now. I was a pain in the ... and who would miss me. I said its YOUR LOSS not mine.
      And hung up. Blocked and deleted him 2 months later no contact.
      Thankyou Lee great advice

  • @glowieokenney7915
    @glowieokenney7915 10 месяцев назад +15

    You are the best! I’m divorcing my narc soon! My husband won’t allow our 15 year old daughter to go to church or youth group. He thinks my church is brainwashing her. I’m done with his stupid choices. I’m taking her anyway. 6 weeks of listening to his crap, and now saying no to him. I’m sure he’s going to scream and be a cry baby. I’m done with him!!!!!

  • @cherryred5835
    @cherryred5835 10 месяцев назад +11

    That was fire! If you’re afraid to lose someone before you get to know them, then you are not afraid of losing them, you are afraid of being alone!

  • @christineallen450
    @christineallen450 9 месяцев назад +7

    They stalk relentlessly 😂

  • @misstmariebyers
    @misstmariebyers 10 месяцев назад +36

    The experience I had was he would pout like a 3 year old just to see if I would change my mind and give in

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  10 месяцев назад +1

      🥹

    • @MsFox2u
      @MsFox2u 10 месяцев назад +5

      Exactly! The narcissist I was with would do the same thing. I would just look at him like he was cr@zy, especially after I told him that I was done with him and the relationship. I would tell him to go find someone who gave a damn! 😂😂😂

  • @user-cy9in5ry9c
    @user-cy9in5ry9c 8 месяцев назад +4

    I was on a rollercoaster for 18 months with a spoiled narc coworker; he tried everything in the book to get me to lower my boundaries, but failed miserably. His last tantrum was last month after I refuse to accept a Xmas gift. I’m holding the line. Great insight. Thanks

  • @teamoreo05
    @teamoreo05 8 месяцев назад +3

    My husband called me a narcissist last night and agreed to sit and watch videos to prove that I am abusive and narcissistic. As this information resonated with me and answered SOOOO many questions I had about the why and what raised when his verbiage didn’t match the evidence. He is raging out now, but I am remaining calm and now that I have a better idea of the self-destruct capability, I can better navigate through this. This is giving me courage.

  • @tam-i-am2022
    @tam-i-am2022 10 месяцев назад +19

    I've known my mother is a covert narcissist for a few years now, but you just explained why; she was never told no by her single mother and was allowed to do whatever she wanted. She brags about that. I just never put two and two together! Thank you, Lee.

  • @mamasaid3
    @mamasaid3 10 месяцев назад +16

    The narcissist in my life ignores me all day long. He speaks to the children in front of me and walks away when he gets near me. Then he rubs his adultery in my face every week. He's getting ready to meet up with his girlfriend right now. He pretends that we're not married and said he doesn't want a divorce. He's trying to push me to get it so he can blame me later on for leaving. He's very stubborn and refuses to bend on anything, especially when he knows what he's doing is wrong and I'm right. He never acknowledges anything I do and thinks he's the most intelligent person in the world. Even on his job, he feels like he knows everything. He feels like nothing will ever happen to him. He acts like he's exempt from payback.

    • @truthseeker-mk4rt
      @truthseeker-mk4rt 7 месяцев назад

      He is a Fool.
      He also has contempt for you and totally disrespects you...hence the way he treats you.
      His adultery is going to catch up on him...because "You reap what you sow".
      You and your children need to live in Peace and Dignity... and All forms of Safety.... mental safety...
      emotional safety
      physical safety
      Spiritual Safety
      financial safety

    • @Meggiebeth19
      @Meggiebeth19 5 месяцев назад +1

      Remind him, “you will reap, what you sow.” It’s true. I am sorry for your situation sister.❤

  • @kristina4395
    @kristina4395 10 месяцев назад +22

    🎱 I really appreciate how you full on warn people "they can hurt you, get ready for the worse".. because most people dont expect whats coming, coz its unfathomable to us normies how vicious someone can be and feel like they are entitled to try to smear you 🤷 and your warnings are clear not soft,i like that

  • @aliciabrown5217
    @aliciabrown5217 10 месяцев назад +7

    I'm a psychologist, and I have learned from you. A narcissist was truly in the wrong, and I pulled away. When I asked for a conversation, she raged out on me because I did not go to her when I was upset. I mean, she blamed me for the sun not rising in Australia. Then, she went no contact and got upset because I was not texting her. However, she made my cousin upset, and my cousin went no contact for months. My cousin never opened up a conversation and NEVER went to her while she was mad. However, after my cousin went no contact, the narcissist said, "I guess I'll have to walk on eggshells from now on." My cousin does NOT have a personality disorder. However, my cousin is well off and pays for the narcissist to travel with her. Will you a video on the different reactions?

  • @neilmurphy966
    @neilmurphy966 10 месяцев назад +12

    Saying No!!! Early on in any connection with a new person sounds really wise words..im going to remember to do that, save load of trouble 😚

  • @RiversRun
    @RiversRun 10 месяцев назад +8

    Lee you're the most adorable Narcissist ever hahhaa

  • @lorrainefrasier4096
    @lorrainefrasier4096 10 месяцев назад +8

    I had no idea the word "no" would send them over the edge the way it did.
    Lee's on point, buckle up is right.
    If theres been any evidence of anger from them to you in the "relationship", make sure you are safe when you do it.
    It sounds bizarre to even have to say these things.
    These are adults who cannot accept the word "no". They can and will get physical, nasty, mean.

  • @newjerseefemale
    @newjerseefemale 10 месяцев назад +5

    I had a co worker start stalking me because I put them in their place. It was sort of scary, I just didn't understand what was happening, until I made it very public what was going on. Some people can't stand the word no.

  • @Hunstons_Herps
    @Hunstons_Herps 10 месяцев назад +25

    Yelling, screaming, throwing things, pushing me around, blocking my way in doorways, kicking doors down, trashing my stuff when I'm not there....
    The worst one was when I caught him cheating he turned the temperature up on my incubator where I had 35 eggs incubating and all the babies died!!

    • @kellithomas9080
      @kellithomas9080 10 месяцев назад

      Omg that is so horrible!!! 🥹 I hope you left him and never looked back. What a shitty person!

    • @errinemcgrew7649
      @errinemcgrew7649 10 месяцев назад +2

      How horrible :( I’m sorry that you experienced that

  • @zarabeauty2269
    @zarabeauty2269 10 месяцев назад +4

    Everything you said is true. A narcissistic person hate the word No👌🏾💯💯

  • @lelediamondASMR
    @lelediamondASMR 7 дней назад

    They get really horrible really fast and it can get dangerous.

  • @AngelaMitchell-kq7zr
    @AngelaMitchell-kq7zr 10 месяцев назад +12

    Hey Lee so glad to see how you are growing and helping so many. I’m still hoping my guy will meet you one day and can see he can live a better life. ❤❤❤Go Lee !!!!

  • @tamarathejudeochristianmedium
    @tamarathejudeochristianmedium 10 месяцев назад +6

    I don’t think all victims are afraid to be alone. They often feel heartbroken. And as far as jobs go, friendships, family, it’s not always easy to disentangle, it usually has a high cost.
    💙🙏🏻💙

  • @mkb7013
    @mkb7013 7 месяцев назад +3

    0:06 they pout like a little baby and don’t let up til you either give in or they leave and get what they want from someone else.

  • @jeanniek1498
    @jeanniek1498 9 месяцев назад +3

    Ive listened to many videos about Narcissist People. Lee I'm so happy with the good space youve put yourself into. Good For You.
    Your the BEST Narcissistic pod caster ive listened to. You speak Human, Not Therapist. You bring it down to earth, and make the conversation real. ❤ ❤ ❤

  • @Tena-q4p
    @Tena-q4p 10 месяцев назад +4

    Lee your right that’s how my man acts when he doesn’t get his way

  • @katface28
    @katface28 10 месяцев назад +3

    I will hurt myself, so they have to watch me be hurt, knowing they care about me... and that it hurts them to watch me in pain. All the while making sure they know it's their fault that I'm going through it.

    • @katface28
      @katface28 10 месяцев назад

      And all that because they didn't want to give me what I wanted.

    • @sunnybein1
      @sunnybein1 10 месяцев назад +3

      Time to grow up.Theres no excuse when your aware of your behaviour.

  • @michelleichikawayourhawaii9362
    @michelleichikawayourhawaii9362 8 месяцев назад +1

    Yes! You were on fire! You’re right, I was so afraid of being alone. I’ve done some work on myself and now I love my alone time ❤ he knew that was my deepest fear.

  • @lauriehutchinson9487
    @lauriehutchinson9487 10 месяцев назад +4

    I mostly said Yes to them and they mostly said No to me. (answer to your question Lee I felt bad to say No, but they said No to even the smallest things I wanted.) I know I messed up. Great video.

  • @Lystra-pl2dh
    @Lystra-pl2dh 7 месяцев назад +2

    The narcissist i know actually throw stuff, curses, slam doors, silent treatment, the whole works!

  • @melissamontes5410
    @melissamontes5410 10 месяцев назад +3

    Damn y’all I just got raged on yesterday . I stood my ground and boy did I get verbally abused . Just 15 minutes prior to the insults he said he loved me . Lord I pray people see the signs of the narc early on so you can get the heck out of there . I cursed him back and blocked him for good . Told he need therapy and Jesus on some real talk ❤️🙏

  • @tealblue4987
    @tealblue4987 10 месяцев назад +4

    i know what you mean. (They want what they want) 💗

  • @ru.m.6119
    @ru.m.6119 10 месяцев назад +2

    Omg so true, when I say no or go to hell- he just rages out of control and gives me the silent treatment for days. BUT I love it its so peaceful and quiet and I co do alot of things then. 🤣

  • @ambelale5040
    @ambelale5040 10 месяцев назад +7

    Narcicists you must do the most great thing in your life.Take responsibilities and go to therapy.Not any more broken ego and despair.Just live happy and connect truly with respect.Otherwise most of them you will die misserable without purpose,no other suppies and all alone.

  • @Nina-w7m8q
    @Nina-w7m8q 3 месяца назад +2

    The covert will say you are hurting them and have a toddler tantrum. They will make plans months in advance and not tell you until the day before and expect you to drop everything and do it. They don't understand when you say no. Coverts may take it out on your possessions, ruin or take something. The evil ones may even hurt your pet.

  • @christopherdavis4353
    @christopherdavis4353 17 дней назад

    They call everyone and tear you down to people

  • @gemtwin
    @gemtwin 10 месяцев назад +4

    Damaged property! Had many a tires slashed and destroyed phones, computers, etc

  • @tamicasebastian8321
    @tamicasebastian8321 9 месяцев назад +2

    🔥 nothing but the truth and I like how u just freestyle that last part when you said “your not scared lo loose people your scared of being along” 🔥

  • @jessawomannherdog
    @jessawomannherdog 10 месяцев назад +3

    I got the rage yelling then silent treatment for weeks at a time.

  • @DrJT-ly3vr
    @DrJT-ly3vr 10 месяцев назад +3

    My Way is the Only Way I can survive!!
    Growing up in household with three narcissistic people two brothers and a mother, but a completely opposite father, I experienced my own narcissistic traits very much like a gear that I could slip into. Narcissist not getting their way is not so much about some weird crazy desire to get vengeance or get even... It often doesn't have much to do with the situation at hand... It's More a primal fear rage response that once it's going it really is almost impossible to completely curb it... Control is the only safe place when that primal fear is triggered. And when somebody does something that interferes with that control it's not the pettyness of me getting my way that causes the dramatic response. It's that primal fear. The mind lives in the realm of possibility which is infinite and a simple calculation of the odds of being manipulated and controlled at some point in life tells the narcissistic mind that it had better be on high alert almost all the time when interacting with another person or engaging in any sort of a relationship. A narcissist has an ego like a really bad sunburn all over their bodies. If you accidentally rub against us slap us spill some hot tea or even just leave your robe hanging in the bathroom And I bump into it, eventually that painful feeling has to be dealt with and prevented. And that sunburn has been around since long before you came into my life. It's been around since my earliest memories and it is the main feature of my most prominent memories. And I know I won't be able to make it unless I manage this risk of being hurt by simple things that for other people wouldn't cause nearly as much reaction. And there is a sense of real entitlement to the right to protect myself and to not feel that horrible pain. And when any level of cavalier response occurs in another person it really feels like they don't care and don't understand how important it is that they not interfere with my control. Even if it's obvious that I was wrong and something different would be much better for me, the important part is not my benefit in the situation but my stability overall. Infinite possibilities exist all the time that could cause this pain and if I don't manage it I'm facing scary realizations such as maybe I don't deserve to exist maybe I'm not worth treating well or caring for or being involved with. These sensations have been in my life since very little and I've developed calluses over my blisters and that is why I have to have my way. Because I'm covered in sore blisters barely shielded by calluses in my behavior and my beliefs that I can't afford to have you pick at. Every blister is precious because it all represents the infinite possibility of my complete inadequacy and unworthiness.. So much preparation is going on in the narcissist mind every single day to get the narcissist ready to face not only today's risks but for all future moments. Grooming preparation training is essential for anyone who wants to be in our lives and we know the drill. This phenomenon of narcissism has such consistent damage that we almost all act the same. We may have burns on our bodies from completely different areas of life. One person may have had parents that didn't show them enough discipline to feel safe and loved. Another person may have had an overdisciplinary parents that invalidated them. And obviously far worse traumas exist in a lot of lives. But it's not the trauma alone that does this narcissistic magic trick. To convert someone into a ball of ego blisters takes another component that I'm confident is inherited... They've been searching in the genetics for it but it may be that it is found in almost everyone as a latent inherited quality until it's triggered by an event. That's how most genetically linked diseases work. Not everybody who eats french fries is going to get heart disease or diabetes or cancer or have their gallbladder removed. Some won't even gain weight if they ate pounds of it a day. That's how my dad is with narcissism. You could build him up all day long and he'll just self-deprecate and deflect. You could tear him down all day long and he would just leave you alone until you feel better. And that is similar for all the family members on his side that I've met. There's not one person on my mom's side including myself who could tolerate either of those situations. If you build me up too much then that's a lack of stability I don't want to be too high on a pedestal especially one that you're building for me. Likewise I don't want to be torn down all day and I have learned how to strike at the emotional jugular real fast and quick and put you in your place so that you know not to mess with my fragile stability. There's no harm intended but there is absolutely control being exerted and reestablished... I have a friend who is the worst narcissist I've met in my life but only when she's strung out on opiates. She actually gets manic and hyper and has a semi allergic reaction to the opiates which drives this insane personality from deep within straight to the surface. Her mom was the exact same way and had a sudden instantaneous flip Just like my friend does with the opiates. So there is no question in my mind that the entire narcissistic personality disorder trait syndrome can be triggered biochemically but that would even be a more rare case and who knows if we'll ever see that show up in the literature? I'm really glad someone like Lee is bringing all this to light because it is very misunderstood. But while compassion is warranted it should be done from a distance. We are not ever going to be completely stable and being too close means you are concentrating risk for us within yourself making you the greatest risk and therefore greatest target for our instability control methods... and we will have to manage that risk. It just gets too strong and then suddenly something like you machine dried my shirt and it shrunk and that's the shirt I wear to work and that work where I derive an essential supply of validation and you simply don't understand how much you have just royally screwed up my whole life survival strategy because you carelessly flung my shirt, The very shirt that was my lifeline, into the dryer and destroyed it, Just like you're doing to me now.... And you have the gall to stand there and tell me it's just a shirt or that I shouldn't react so strongly ?... And the sad thing is is that I wouldn't be lying if I said that. That's not gaslighting But actual genuine expression of emotion. That's actually really what the truth is for my reality. I'll start gas-lighting you later in unconscious patterns that my mind has spent its whole life getting good at to try and manage this situation next time but for that moment that I'm having a tantrum about a shrunk shirt, The painful emotion that I am vomiting all over you is absolutely real for me... If I could have enough awareness in that moment I would tell you that I've been gaslighting you For so many years and months just to try and avoid this exact situation and now after all my work after all my deceptions after all my manipulations you just screw The whole thing up anyway. Because you just don't care about me... That is honestly the feeling when that gear slips in where I suddenly become like everyone else on my mom's side... it is like pulling my hair out to try and regulate that emotional volatility.... And you'll be pulling your hair out too and experiencing some of the damage that I've had and I won't appreciate you doing it either. It won't cure my toxicity and it Will certainly be poisonous to you. In other words my survival comes at your expense and that is not a person you should keep too close in your life...

  • @DonnaHaas-g3z
    @DonnaHaas-g3z 8 месяцев назад

    It's been so insightful listening to you. I see all of what he did was angry, manipulative behaviors. Thank you again for helping me to see.

  • @niarack158
    @niarack158 10 месяцев назад +1

    9:45 was 🔥🔥🔥 for real. Not a single lie was told.

  • @farlenejohnson3735
    @farlenejohnson3735 10 месяцев назад +4

    Hey Lee I've been watching your podcasts for a couple of years or more now you've been such a big help in my life dealing with Narcissist and toxic people. Everything thing you've said I've been through it with 2 marriages and a son in law who got so degrading and physical with me I had to run and disappear from. I am 64 years old and I've been dealing with toxic relationships most of my adult life and now I have 4 grandchildren from the same one who assuted me. I am trying to put everything in the right perspective as I live with my daughter his ex and be a live in baby sitter for her as I am retired now. Even when I was working I was still a live in baby sitter which led to the 2 heart attacks I had, I digress, I can't afford therapy but I think it would help me at least. However just curious Lee why you look at your watch so much it's very distracting when your talking it' gives me the feeling like your trying to hurry your conversation like your there but not there Like your talking but your attention is somewhere else in other words please stop looking at your watch so much it's like your full attention isn't really there it's kind of borderline rude. just saying Lee 😊
    Just a suggestion maybe have a clock or time of some sort in front of you if you must or have to keep up with the time
    Thank You God Bless keep up your good work 😁

  • @creativeconciousness5492
    @creativeconciousness5492 6 месяцев назад

    Lee, the thing I like about your videos is that they answer the questions I could never ask my narcissistic ex-wife. "Why are you so backwards?" It's helpful to hear the logic behind the toxic behavior.

  • @B.T-y7s
    @B.T-y7s 2 месяца назад

    Scratches up furniture and doing dots and the stainless microwave and oven!

  • @ginagina9592
    @ginagina9592 8 месяцев назад

    The first time my x narc asked me out I said no I couldn’t do it. He literally took two steps back. That was a big sign

  • @MsFox2u
    @MsFox2u 10 месяцев назад +4

    Yeah, they don't understand the meaning of no. I would ask the narcissist I was with, which part of NO didn't he understand- the "N" or the "O"?😂

  • @sism3028
    @sism3028 10 месяцев назад +1

    We appreciate you too! Thank you for your channel.
    !

  • @Rollergirl1980
    @Rollergirl1980 10 месяцев назад +1

    My soon to be ex narc calls me the devil, tells me he hopes I die of my cancer, calls me every name in the book. I can deal with the name calling I just hope it doesn’t escalate

  • @pamelahooper-tr7si
    @pamelahooper-tr7si 10 месяцев назад +2

    My husband was always like you are treating me like a child. Just because I got upset because I wanted him to spend time with and the kids. I also said why do I have to complete for your attention from your mom. She treated him like a husband. I got sick Everytime I had to listen and watch it.

  • @NevaMindYo
    @NevaMindYo 10 месяцев назад +2

    That was fire 🔥 & facts 💯. I had to learn that new coin (internally) before I could find the words but you put it together like a neat sandwich 🥪. I am not afraid of being alone. I was already alone & stepping away showed me with the response that, that was how it was going to be so I went from being afraid to being glad I did.

  • @patriciadooley3058
    @patriciadooley3058 10 месяцев назад +1

    When my narc ex was found out to have a partial dating profile he went completely stupid on me!!😂😂 It was a sight to have been held.

  • @tanyaprendeville9425
    @tanyaprendeville9425 10 месяцев назад +2

    I Love you Lee!
    You make me laugh, when I don't feel like it!!😅👍👍

  • @Yearite84
    @Yearite84 10 месяцев назад +1

    My brother as a kid he raged when he didn’t get that toy or whatever and my mom and dad just let him get his way all the time because they were scared of him. On top of that he was abused and neglected by our alcoholic narc mother. Mom wondered why he turned into such a monster.. she had no idea. But I think she knew deep down. He’s the worst narcissist you’ll ever meet. He sets up cameras to spy on people, he is extremely paranoid and has paranoid delusions. He’s not in touch with reality. He’s violent and dangerous and I’m pretty sure he wants to kill me.

  • @marsha04053
    @marsha04053 7 месяцев назад

    Pitch a fit like a child😂😂😂.mine did that.threw the remote control because he couldnt find a football game.he was silent one

  • @EmpressNewGrooveTarot
    @EmpressNewGrooveTarot 10 месяцев назад +2

    I needed to hear this video 🙏🏾 Thank you because I’m learning a lot and finally opening my eyes to the type of relationship I’m in and with who.

  • @mearis8133
    @mearis8133 7 месяцев назад +1

    My ex (covert narcissist) used to tell me that he was taught 'not to start anything, but finish it' and on separate occasions, his mother said the same thing. After listening to this video now I'm wondering if this is the vengeance mindset you're referring to?

  • @camilliagaines1436
    @camilliagaines1436 9 месяцев назад

    This explains to me how my ex was treating me when I was in a relationship with him he showed me these signs and early and I caught on early it was getting to be uncomfortable for me

  • @craigellem7461
    @craigellem7461 9 месяцев назад

    Right on point brother, weird thing is my 40yo wife throws tantrums like a child when she don't get her way after countless attempts of manipulation instead of appropriate adult communication she's tried to jump out the car at 100kph, bashes her head against bedroom windows untill it cracks, smashes my property like toolboxes and trashes my wardrobe and threatens to take a hammer to my harley, yes they are worse than a child.
    You can at least reason with a child and de-escilate the situation but there is no way of doing this with these types of people it only makes things worse, even asking them to get help causes them to explode with rage.
    Then nek minute they love you and want to talk but no way are you allowed to talk about their abusive behaviour, you will be devalued and dismissed in a heartbeat.
    Pure evil😈

  • @neilmurphy966
    @neilmurphy966 10 месяцев назад +1

    the covert narcissist buddy often uses no to me eg he wont phone number for support over his drinking, he said no to a befriender to help with his isolation, he said no to washing his coat for over 3 months earlier this year as it really needed wash and im bad guy for telling him the truth that it was really dirty...and he said no when i needed him to help me to get a friend to vacuum up hall and apartnent as workmen were coning out i ended up doing 2 peoples's chores on own.. passive aggressiveness is like poison.. is worse than no imo!!!!

  • @waterbottle2183
    @waterbottle2183 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you 🙏🏾 for helping me see things - a little more clearly - bells 🔔 went off 🙂 as I applied to a few different things ❤

  • @Keysha.Monique
    @Keysha.Monique 10 месяцев назад

    Yes Lee, it's not always romantic partners. It can be your parents or children in my case.

  • @Missybella92227
    @Missybella92227 10 месяцев назад +2

    Yes!!!
    It’s constant tif for tat, but you better not do the same to the Narc.
    Biggest hypocrites out there. Recently discarded by ex covert narc because I started treated him the same as he did to me.

  • @heikeschwarz9028
    @heikeschwarz9028 10 месяцев назад

    Lee thank you for being you. I realy like your way. You became from a patient to a very good teacher. You very protecting me with your preaparing informations. Thank you from the buttom from my heart.

  • @tedene
    @tedene 10 месяцев назад

    I thought you were great on Ep. 919. And dead on, too. Keep up the good work, Lee.

  • @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp
    @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp 10 месяцев назад +1

    That is so true Lee thank you so much I experienced that but my myself as well cuz I grew up in narcissism and you know I realize I did a stupid things in my life and I'm not proud and at the end of the day yeah the x. He did it to me a couple of times

  • @lorilee698
    @lorilee698 10 месяцев назад

    My sister never heard the word NO! She constantly got away with everything as a child and never was expected to take responsibility for her actions! She is a such a liar and is a textbook narcissist! Everytime I call her out for her bad behavior there is hell to pay. She is trying to do what she can to ruin my life and turn every one in my life against me! My childrens dad is the same way! If you seen one narc you have seen them all! If you discover a narcissist, RUN!!

  • @LarjoskiFlyingAway
    @LarjoskiFlyingAway 10 месяцев назад

    Powerful. I haven’t watched you for a while since going through a breakup years ago. Then I started dating again and well... Your channel has really grown! But still miss the shed 😊

  • @Mikkibriteside
    @Mikkibriteside 9 месяцев назад

    I wish I had addressed my husband's feelings of shame and emptiness but I didn't understand what the root of his behavior could be when we were together. I have so many great memories. On the other hand I don't miss the insults. I"d say he is the person who wasn't told "No". Fortunately I did tell.him what I was not going to put up with in the beginning. It wasn't a surprise when I left.

  • @lisaortiz-vargas4946
    @lisaortiz-vargas4946 20 дней назад

    Unless you’re Fed Up with their Crap then NO does feel good when you say it. Just as they can read you, if you stay with them long enough you will notice the pattern of their behavior, then the silent treatment and ghosting will mean nothing to you because you have gotten used of it, BUT once they catch on it’s not effective the discard is coming.

  • @TStormPhoenix
    @TStormPhoenix 7 месяцев назад

    The narc in my life would literally poke their lip out and act sad. It worked for a while. Now that I'm looking back I can see how they were setting the stage for when they would be able to get their claws into me. I left that p.o.s. in December and went no contact and I truly couldn't be happier.

    • @danieladegan8106
      @danieladegan8106 6 месяцев назад

      I noticed that..mine would have this sad face like why are you looking like your about to cry your the one that hurt me

  • @glowieokenney7915
    @glowieokenney7915 10 месяцев назад +1

    I love your videos! They are changing my life!!!! So helpful!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @MikIsh-ev8pj
    @MikIsh-ev8pj 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks!

  • @jewelcoutcher1059
    @jewelcoutcher1059 10 месяцев назад +2

    finally catching a premiere, thanks for all you do lee

  • @katiec3768
    @katiec3768 10 месяцев назад +4

    Some of these personality disorders are genetic too.

  • @SnR80574
    @SnR80574 7 месяцев назад

    I said no to our first meet up. 14 months later I’m suffering! He’s in jail but that doesn’t stop him.

  • @shakibeauty634
    @shakibeauty634 10 месяцев назад +2

    😂😂🤩🤩 this video was defo fire! Always make me laugh everytime I watch you, I learn while laughing and that is a hard thing to do! I’m happy you have found the path God made way for you… This is your break through ❤ please come London England we’d love to see you

  • @khaledbejdough2694
    @khaledbejdough2694 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank You for sharing this Information.

  • @lovehopefaithstrength3450
    @lovehopefaithstrength3450 10 месяцев назад +1

    I wonder how many narcissist exist on this earth I've dealt with one person who fits every thing you say wish he could've got help but he's 46 and on his way to prison where he's been on and off for 30 year's

  • @inagupta7173
    @inagupta7173 10 месяцев назад

    Lee... I have tried that also! Saying No in the beginning of the relationship. But they take and respect your No also initially because they want to gain your trust and portray them as gentle, understanding and caring men! And also because their ultimate play is once I gain that trust... I'll turn that No into Yes. All they have to do is convince you that they are not a bad person and they genuinely care about you and your comfort. And exactly that's where you yourself give in... Without any hesitation and doubt! Saying NO hasn't worked for me at all! That learning has failed for me.
    BUT... There has been one that I have learnt will work... As u say... Speed is the weapon of a narcissist. So, all you have to do is become a tortoise... Slow as hell! Just let the time paas. As Cadbury says in their ad... Eat a 5 star... Do nothing. ✌🏻😄

  • @jackiecolbert3915
    @jackiecolbert3915 10 месяцев назад +1

    Lee I love your videos. You make me laugh especially when you laugh at yourself. Im learning alot thank you. ❤😂

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  10 месяцев назад

      you’re welcome. Thanks for being here

  • @a.j.walker5729
    @a.j.walker5729 7 месяцев назад

    Nothing but the factoids. Gratitude for being the soundboard for this truth.

  • @LRS11B
    @LRS11B 6 месяцев назад

    My wife does tge silent treatment thats on a whole other level. Basically, I didn't exist. This occurred after she cheated. She tried to get me to agree that its over.

  • @leonorsilva134
    @leonorsilva134 9 месяцев назад

    We are grateful for you too.

  • @karenswank7263
    @karenswank7263 10 месяцев назад +1

    They throw a hissy fit that for sure you think your dealing with a two year old. Because they want it their way

  • @ravenmeyer3740
    @ravenmeyer3740 5 месяцев назад

    Also, in that type of a relationship, you are alone anyway. You are as handsome as he is.

  • @jeanettepelletier1402
    @jeanettepelletier1402 9 месяцев назад +1

    The explosive 🧨 attitude happened.😊

  • @taniathomas8555
    @taniathomas8555 7 месяцев назад

    THAT WAS FIRE 🔥 LEE❤️

  • @CapricornBoss333
    @CapricornBoss333 10 месяцев назад

    This was good Lee. Thank you. We love ❤️ you too

  • @sism3028
    @sism3028 10 месяцев назад

    They pout And make you miserable. And yes you are right they ghost you.

  • @mickeymaliyah774
    @mickeymaliyah774 9 месяцев назад

    Literally ive been on a bumpy ass ride , always get the silent treatment and that's why I had to go on no contact

  • @LoveahmakeyaCrazay
    @LoveahmakeyaCrazay 9 месяцев назад

    This video is so accurate..,