Yea exceptionally cringe. Such a heartless reply. Take care of the goddamn child, shes still her kids half sister. No wonder the ex cheated. He probably wanted to experience human emotions.
@Gi Gi Yea, you probably do owe them something. "It takes a village" was how humans were raised for millenia. The growing disfunctionality in society, the growth of the "me, me. me. Its all about me" culture is a side effect of humanity losing that. You think i'd let my niece go into fostercare or to her shithole absent father if something were to happen to my sister? Fuck no. If one of my friends with kids was to die and the kids didn't have direct family willing to take them in i'd happily take them in. I get OP not wanting the kid to call her "mom" and the text was a shitty thing to do. but OP is shit too because, really, how much more effort would having one additional kid for a couple nights a month really add to her relaxing life? Virtually none since it sounds like shes attached to her half siblings. I feel for that kid.
@@harrydresden4661 Wow, you must be some sort of saint taking in & providing for every needy child out there, including all of those created by your exes. OP has _no responsibility_ (not in time, emotional or financial support) to the child her ex-husband created while cheating with another woman, period, end of story. She is the half sibling to OP's children, yes, but that does not make her OP's daughter. That she is welcoming of her sons developing a relationship with her while visiting their father, & is kind to the girl, is all that is reasonable to expect. The ex cheated to get his rocks off, irresponsibly created a life he wasn't prepared to take care of, then the woman involved unfortunately (tragically) lost her life. He is now trying to duck his responsibilities by pawning his daughter off on someone else using emotional manipulation, instead of dealing with his current reality like a real man & parent. That you think it's reasonable to expect OP to start _sharing custody_ of this child is just... mind boggling.
Story 2: I will not allow a so-called grandmother to put down my child like that. I would ban both husband and MIL from her performance. That is crossing a big line.
You're absolutely right. My kid will not be the only one crying and upset. I will humiliate, cuss out and/or ridicule that old bytch and claim it's just constructive criticism of her grandparenting techniques.
I’m a professional musician and have been to some pretty bad performances. Still, the one thing I NEVER DO is criticize people, especially right after the end of a performance. It’s rude and discouraging. I will only offer criticism if asked, and even then, I do my best to approach those conversations in a positive way, i.e., “have you ever tried _____ ?” Not, “that was pretty disappointing. MIL and husband are both huge asses for their behavior. And, as usual, OP definitely has a husband problem, not necessarily a MIL problem. And if they keep it up and OP doesn’t defend her, daughter will figure out she has an OP, Father, and MIL problem and write all of them out of her life.
"You SUCK! kid!" is NOT criticism, constructive or otherwise. Mom needs to tell the kid that Grandma is just jealous because she's never had any talent herself. Kids will stop trying - At All - over crap like that.
Mom should say to the daughter, in front of MIL, "You see what happens when you don't have any manners? You don't want to grow up like Granny, do you? I thought you did beautifully!"
Because he has responsibilities now. In the past, it was OP that took care of everything while he gallivanted and fucked around. But now, he has a daughter 24/7, so he can't, especially if Op won't "just do the right thing and parent all his affair kids too" so he can continue life unchanged.
Sounds like the grandma is purposefully putting her granddaughter down to get her to quit piano cuz thats what she wants. Shes evil and doing it for her OWN interests.
@@singaporesammy And they’re both idiots. The amount of research that demonstrates a music education is beneficial in many different careers is pretty staggering. Daughter may not even become a pianist, but music teaches logical thinking/processing skills that could help her in many ways, including medicine if for some GOOD reason she decided she wanted to pursue a career in medicine. Right now, they only thing they’re doing is ensuring daughter will want nothing to do with them in the future.
@@tunatofu63 that was my thought. This Chloe must be the golden child of MIL's golden child. It feels like OP's husband was likely the scape goat and now that he sees he can get on mommy-dearest's "good" side by helping to tear down the new scape goat, he's backed off to spare himself the pain. You know, instead of being a decent human and parent and cutting off the vile thing that birthed him and/or protecting his daughter.
@@singaporesammy OP is no better. She sees it happen and hates it but just shrugs and let's it continue to happen. Even meakly telling husband not to invite her.
As a mother..... My jaw dropped at how MIL treated that sweet girl. I would have slapped my MIL in the face the FIRST time I heard some shit like that. Her MIL is a horrible hag, who on earth talks to a child like that 🤬
I seriously think my head would've exploded. They would've been pulling me off her, she's literally destroying her granddaughter. OP NEEDS to get out of that marriage, it's only going to get worse.
"I sighed and did nothing." And that is what makes OP also an idiot in the second story. Why is nobody actually protecting this little girl? My grandfather was like this. Gave money to my cousins on Christmas, while looking me dead in the eye, at my parents' house. I was six. He gave me a gift when I was four, only to pull it out of my hands telling me, that on second thought, my cousin deserved it more. And he did many other things to make sure I knew just how much he hated me. He and my grandmother were my only grandparents and thanks to him I never even had grandparents at all. It really messed me up. The minute this happens more than once, you revoke their grandparent rights.
Your parents should have put their foot down on him telling him that if he doesn't treat you like the rest of his grandkids (and it doesn't sound like there's any reason not to) that he won't be seeing you anymore.
The story with the twin sisters: You can tell that OP has taught her daughters well. Her 15 soon to be 16 year old took the news well about not having a custom dress, and apologized to her sister for something an adult did? Yeah OP is doing something right. Really right.
I thought the same thing. Sadly, it's more common to hear a teenager throw a tantrum like a toddler when they don't get their way. When OP said one twin daughter apologized to the other twin daughter I was surprised. Like you said, "OP is doing something right".
I was actually surprised by that reaction, given how excited she was about the dress, but it was a pleasant surprise. It says a lot about how much they care about each other too. The one apologizing to the other... It wasn't her fault, & she had no reason to think MIL was going to exclude her sister. She's certainly more mature than MIL.
I think this also goes to show that the favoritism is pretty obvious and this is not a situation of Anne being deprived just to make things 'fair' (as in, when one kid gets a privilege and the other kid throws a fit about it).
Anyone who destroys their family by having an affair is a crap parent, end of story! And this guy’s actions with affair baby proves it! Stop picking the kids up at his house. Have a relative or friend pick them up drop them off. OP could have shut her crap down a long time ago! Oh yeah proof you should never marry a mama’s boy! YTA and a controlling bully! It’s clear she dislikes Adam or is jealous of the friendship.
Story #1; ex-hubby is the AH 💯 This is a disgusting way to treat the mother of his children and his youngest child. This is not how an "awesome father" behaves 😡
Honestly, the worst kind of men in the world are the possessive and controlling types, mamas boys, ones who only care about Trophy Wives, and the manipulative types who tries gaslight someone into parenting because they failed to do their job as a parent.
Story 2: next time Grandma tries to put down your daughter’s performance, yell at her. Make sure everyone in the room can hear you so that they know what she is doing. Then ask her if she is embarrassed. The answer will obviously be yes. Then make it clear that every time she decides to bully your daughter’s performance you will do the same thing. So she can either stop coming or keep her mouth shut.
Good idea. My thought was to ask her loudly what qualifications she has to make such critical and crushing comments about a child's performance (especially if she doesn't play the piano). If she isn't a trained performer herself hit her with that. And the husband can be tossed to the dogs if he continues to act this way.
Yep, you CANNOT reason with these types of people(MIL) or their enablers(husband). You HAVE to fight fire with fire and that means shaming the husband in public too.
Story 2 - there is a golden child in Grandma’s family, and he’s not it. He’s desperately hoping if he lets her bully his daughter, she’s reward him for being a “good son.” It won’t work, but he’s likely been raised to always think if he makes one more sacrifice mom will love him. Its terrible, and pathetic, and praise to the op for shutting it down.
OP’s ex is a total AH! She doesn’t owe ex or his child anything.. to do what ex wanted her to do would lead to more and more of ex pushing the child off on OP.. Story 2.. OP should leave that AH an put MIL on a NC diet..
The affair child isn’t OPs problem. She wasn’t even technically supposed have been born. Ex decided to sleep with a woman and have a baby with her. He can’t expect his Ex-wife to want to raise an affair baby. It sucks for the child but you can’t just force this baby on to another person and guilt her with videos of her crying. He needs to sit down and parent and talk to his child and tell her that OP isn’t her mom and to stop calling her that. OP doesn’t have to take the child with her when she leaves. She’s not her responsibility
While I feel super bad for that innocent little girl who didn’t ask to be born into such a terrible situation, OP owes her ex 0 kindness! It sounds like OP is kind to the child and treats her like a semi familiar child, her ex is the only AH. I would tell OP to report her ex to her lawyer. He’s emotionally and psychologically abusing his youngest child and I’m sure his older child can/will see what a douche he is. OP is NTA!
First story: The ex is trying to get back into OP's pants. Simply because he keep telling Juniper the op is her mother when she's not. Now, he's getting desperate because OP is shutting that down. What OP should do is go back to the courts and mediate for a better co-parenting plan. Second story: Tell your husband that, if she does become a doctor you hope she becomes a plastic surgeon. Then, MIL can actually look human for once. But, OP should seriously divorce that man and let the daughter choose who to stay with. Third story: Technically, the hospital can decide who can actually be there. But, damn, OP should let Adam visit once. Fourth story: Wait until Ann grows tired of MIL. Then, she'll be running to Rachel with the hope her actions isn't going to make her lose them both. Fifth story: The whole point of being an adult is to do things our parents forced us to give up. The fact that they want you to be miserable shows that SIL is trying to be an adult and failing at it.
I would have explained to my child why gramdma was being mean. It is a good lesson in manipulation. Teach her that you need to stand up to manipulation
As an adult (20's to 40's) I slept with a stuffed frog. I couldn't fall asleep unless froggy was with me me. SIL is the AH and I wonder how long the marriage will last. I wish we had a photo of the blue bear. Sounded cute.
I still have my teddy bear given to me from birth. I don’t sleep with it but teddy is still an important thing of comfort to me so in my room. I see it as, as long as it’s not creepy, nothing wrong with a stuff best friend.
I'm 45 and sleep with my unicorn (Winston) every night. I was suffering terrible nightmares and waking up screaming multiple times a night. Winston has been the only thing to keep the nightmares at bay since I got him from a friend last year. ❤️ and yes, I've tried to not sleep with him and have nightmares when I don't. He's my little guardian. 😊
@@nicolecodbrajoe5229 I think it helps I have 2 different types. Ginny, my oldest at 12, has been with me through a lot. She will tap my face with her paw or lick my nose, which usually wakes me. The Greys, a mother and her two girls, just jump on me if I don't wake up from Ginny.
There would be no Juniper situation or Juniper issue if he hadn't cheated. His first wife has no obligation to take of other people's children and she's being a good parent by building bonds between the children.
I'm guessing your mother-in-law wants your daughter to be a doctor because that's what she wanted your husband to be and he failed her. Encourage your daughter to continue playing the piano and stop telling your husband and mother-in-law where the performances are since they can't support her
I'm tired of people compartmentalizing. If he cheated on you, his wife and the mother of his children, he is NOT a good father. A good father doesn't selfishly tear up his children's lives like that. And his blaming you, OP, shows how little he is aware of how his own actions look to his kids. Cheating affects everyone - not just the person who was cheated on.
This exactly. My father cheated while he was staying in the apartment I had rented. And I had to be the one to tell my mom when I found out because my father didnt wanted to say s**t. It obviously affected me a lot even if I was an adult at the time. The older kids those 2 have understand and thats why they are not talking to their dad.
@@AmomenttobeReal I'm sorry for what you had to go through. I don't know why it's so hard for people to acknowledge that cheating doesn't only affect the significant other. It affects the friends' group. It affects the in-laws. And it definitely affects the kids. I think she's trying to believe the best in him because she still has to deal with him in regards to the three kids but it would be better for her to admit - to herself - that he is a selfish tool who wants to live life as he pleases. He doesn't want that baby girl, he wants to pawn her off on someone else so he can screw around some more.
Exactly. The dad may get along well with his kids and feed and care for them properly, but he did something heinous enough that it caused his family to be torn in two. That is not something a good father would do. And he's trying to make things even worse by guilting his innocent ex into taking care of the product of his affair. More points lost.
This story reminds me of old tale my late mother told. The story goes like this. A young boy dreams to be an actor. His parents criticized him every time he performed. Same way op mother in law did. But he ignored them, became one of the highest paying actors. When his parents wanted to benefit from his success. He said no. Why give you something, because you didn’t believe in me. It’s a story that shown me, that don’t let people, family and friends bring you down. Be determined, go for your dreams. Op daughter should listen to story, it’s long one, but well known. Maybe one day we would hear op daughter playing in Carnegie Hall. Where all the famous musicians played.
OP sould start 'constructively' criticising he husband's performance in bed, and then move on to 'constructively' criticisng MIL's parenting skills (re her son!) I would wipe the floor with the pair of them.
14:39 correct "Moms are the first line of defense" to "Parents are the first line of defence" and I will agree with you. Sometimes it's the father that does that job.
1. DO NOT let him drop off the boys. He would probably drop them off WITH juniper and then drive away before you can stop him. You are not this childs mother. The father needs to stop this and correct his daughter. I do think dad is encouraging this.
St 2 about the evil grandma- Op, you don't have a mother in law problem, you have a husband problem. Your husband is a spineless coward. What father allows his daughter to be abused like this??
Am sorry that this poor toddler has no mother but the ex can't expect op to fill the void. The most he can expect is civil treatment and invites to her siblings birthday at best given the details she wrote in the post. The ex really should find another woman considering this plan to get op to be her mom isn't working.
The dad needs to step up and take care of the kid and explain things, he might not be telling her that's her mom but he's definitely letting her believe it.
He must have females in his family. One of them could step into help. My granddaughter's mother just doesn't want to be her mom anymore. My daughter's and I have stepped up. My son also had a female friend there. He is an amazing dad, and now his friend is his girlfriend. My granddaughter is thriving from all of us being there.
Second story: Op put your damn foot down! Your daughter is being hurt in ways that scar for a life time! It will spill over into everything she enjoys! Protect your baby girl because she's too young to protect herself. Bring your supportive friends, cheer her on, give her flowers! You need to show her that she has an amazing drive and spirit!
Send him a picture of him and the affair woman and ask happy now. Also if the little girl is still crying long after you've gone, he isn't doing it right.
Last story. To most adult eyes, bringing and owning a teddy bear is childish. But, it's hers and it's none of their business. Many adults have something childish that matters to them. For example, I'm 25 and I still love to read comics and watch anime (so does my supervisor and coworkers). SIL is an idiot for disregarding op's wishes and basically taking op's property and giving it to her daughter.
Op's bear is what is referred to in mental health as a coping mechanism. Some people smoke, some fidget, some self harm, OP has a stuffed animal that let's her teel safe, frankly its one of the better self developed coping mechanisms I've heard of, while I would recommend she seek treatment for her anxiety, having a teddy isn't hurting anyone. Oh as for adults owning teddies, I'm a 37 year old man, ontop of my wardrobe is a stuffed care bear that I've had since I was a baby. I may rarely think of it, touch it or even look at it, but I will never throw it away, it's important to me just knowing it's there, it's a reminder of my grandmother who passed nearly 30 years ago.
Thank you to both of you for explaining what needed to be understood about the teddy bear. SIL was way out of line giving the bear to her child and the rude things she said to OP. I am so glad OP's brother has a shiny spine.
Story 2: I honestly would've told that MIL to shut the f*ck up and not to put my child down like that. But I have a potty mouth and don't have the "greatest" relationship with mine 😆
Last story: NTA adult or not if you need the bear you need the bear, comfort objects are a thing. Obviously the little girl has no fault in this because any little girl would want to play with a pushie if they find it cute, but SIL should had told her no or at least ask OP if her daughter could play with the bear first. The bear is OP's property and she can't just give it to her daughter, then refuse to give it back and walk away with it. OP's brother is amazing.
Damn if my wife treated my best friend who is basically my brother like that, id honestly be considering divorcing. Id fear what if i became sick and unable to care for myself and the person who makes all the decisions for me is someone who makes them out of their own goodwill rather than mine.. Not something i want to have lingering in the back of my head
Agreed he came from out of town surely during the 3 days he called she could have let him come even for an hour, she's the overbearing one, if I was the husband I would've been pissed too.
Of course she did. It says they wanted to see him so there was no time for the friend. Should just cheat on her and say we'll I decided what's best for me is to humiliate you.
Re Story 1: Spot on re all the comments, esp the last one. If OP does something that makes Juniper unhappy, say, says no she can't have ice cream for dinner, for example, ex will say, "You're not her mother." OP can't win, and good enough won't ever be good enough in ex's eyes. Ex needs to suck it up and deal with the fall-out of his choices. OP has no obligation to Juniper but to treat her courteously when they meet; OP does that. Ex doesn't get a holiday from parenting HIS child.
Wedding Bear: There is a difference between sharing and stealing. Sharing is for cookies. Boundaries are to be observed with personal items. You can't just go into her purse if she asks you to watch it for you, now can you? It was not hers to give to anyone else, nor hers to deny you. No means no, ALWAYS, and that is a lesson every child needs to understand, whether it be their body or their toys. Sounds like the Bride hasn't learned it yet.
I would say the only thing OP could possibly apologize for would be asking the bride to do something for her on the wedding day. Other than that, the bride's behavior was less mature than OPs by far. OP only wanted to resolve things quietly.
I feel bad for the little girl but NTA. The ex is a massive a-hole. I'm honestly not sure how a single father to a very small child should go about explaining the truth to that child, but it needs to be done. Sad as it is, she has no mommy, just a daddy, and her brothers have a different mommy.
S1- no, nope, nuh uh! You are not a replacement mother, nor is the child your responsibility. Anyone calling you an ah is an ah themselves. Sure she’s innocent, but that doesn’t make you any less innocent as well. He’s the one who f up.
OP keep the baby, charge him child support and cut him off. Poor OP and poor baby. The child is reacting innocently to the goodness of OP's heart and motherly touch.
Why should she keep the baby? She's had 4 and is finishing up on the final 2. Daddy had his fun and games. Let him be responsible and raise/keep his own baby. Enough is enough.
@@alexm.7714 That would be like a "dog returning to its own vomit". I reiterate daddy has to be responsible for his own child. Some other folks on this thread suggested that she rearrange the pick up and drop off arrangements. She should go to court and have it so ordered.
You cannot be an awesome dad ever if you are disrespecting and cheating on your wife, their mother, in front of them. What kind of example are you? Is certainly not an example of a good dad
A hero mom and a dad with a spine who stands up to his mother and supports his wife. Your girls are very lucky to have both of you. It's shocking how many spineless parents come up in these Reddit stories, so finding the good couples are like finding diamonds buried in shit.
The first story I would change how you exchange kids. Not the baby’s fault but neither is it the ex wife’s. She shouldn’t have to deal with his affair baby
Hes doing it to show the court that you have a active roll and should be required to do all the things her mother would do with the courts permission. He trying to legally make you her mother without your consent. Better hope he not telling people your going to adopt her but stay divorced, bc you have kids and he needs to do whatever it is he does, get a lawyer, this could get out of hand quickly
2nd story very clear the mil is actively trying to manipulate the daughter into giving up anything that gets in the way of being a doctor. Play soccer? Worse game I have ever seen. Well see you at the next game Cooking? This pork is so raw I can still hear it singing hakuna matata. That was horrific see you next sunday for dinner. Anything short of being a doctor will be a disappointment with mil. Last story 100% before the wedding sil said "I do not want your sister to bring a kid's toy to my wedding, she needs to grow up."
If my MIL was bullying my daughter after her recital every time and my husband was defending her. It wouldn’t have happened but a couple times for me to realize it was going to be a pattern and I would have torn so many strips off that woman, there wouldn’t have been any strips left. When I was finished with her I would have looked him straight in the eye and told him he was next. They both would be knowing better than to think they were welcome to any future recitals until they could get their sht together and act like adults and actually be supportive or next time I wouldn’t be so kind. Lol
First story- This seems super harsh but save the texts and videos and tell him to his face “you try this crap ONE more time it’ll be with the lawyer and the judge signing away your custody rights.” Full stop.
Lol 😂 BABY CRYING 😢 POOR BABY DADDY. Lol 😂 BABY CRYING IS HELL OF FUNNY 😄 IGNORE GIRL, NOT YOUR CHILD, THE DAD IS ABSOLUTELY PUTTING HER UP 2 PULL HER HEART ❤️ STRINGS.
Hospital husband, Your Husband should have had wife and family removed from the room and not let them back in until he saw his friend. Patients have rights and unless he's in a comma and can't advocate for himself he decides who's in room and who isn't.
"Just telling it how it is" grandma combined with the narrator makes her sound like the villain in a British sitcom. I imagine Mr. Bean coming along in a bit to doofus her into submission
Oh that first story, the father trying to guilt op into treating juniper as her own is vomit worthy. Take those vids to family court, because he clearly is not a good father.
Story 1 call cps on your ex. Story 2 you need a divorce lawyer. That is emotionaly abuse dont let your daughter be abused by your husband and his mother. Story 3 i hope your husband divorce you you sond awfull abusing. Story 4 good job for defending mental health of your daughter. Story 5 you have an amasing brother.
Music is super beneficial to kids and a lot of my friends played instruments up through university but studied and got jobs in the sciences. Who knows what the little girls will end up doing.
1st story I wonder if OP's ex told his daughter that real mom is dead? Probably not OP needs to go to court with evidence & get custody changed out she was right in telling Juniper (Geez what kind of a name is that?) that she's not her mom & is hands off with her. Ex needs to be a parent & take care of his kid that he had with AP now dead "Karma" but thinks he can manipulate his ex into being the new mommy for his daughter inexcusable. He should move on & look for a new mommy.
This man is delusional. HE needs to be there more for Juniper, not you. She's his kid, not yours. He is failing, not OP. It is not the child's fault. Or OP's. It's his. Three years old or not, he needs to talk to his child and show her more affection. Emotionally blackmailing the loyal wife he cheated on is not the right path.
YTA op not letting hubby’s friend visit. Smh. When my mom was in hospice at home we had a lot of visitors and i was scheduling visits. Her former co-workers who live an hour away and are older were planning on coming down to visit as well as another family friend that lived a few hours away. Another local friend wanted to visit too and i said another day would be better and she was highly offended and pissed off. To me the far away friends who had to get their schedules together to come down trumped any local people especially in that time slot My mom was annoyed too the lady was pissed and was like oh well. The lady was part of their little senior lunch crew but was the “Karen” of the group, nobody really liked her but she was still in their little group The husband’s friend should have been scheduled in somewhere. Its not he just popped over and said it now or never
St 1 - 100% NOT the idiot. Your husband is a horrible person. He is the reason Juniper is suffering. If he wants a mother for HIS child, then he should marry one. Expecting your ex wife that you cheated on is ridiculous.
Wife refusing husband's best friend to visit him. She's controlling and selfish. Maybe before, she hid this side well. Now that husband is incapacitated, she's showing her real side. She doesn't care about her husband's wish to see his best friend. Why would she allow this 'competitor' of her husband's affection to intrude with 'family' support. Selfish in the sense that she only thinks of what she wants and not her husband's... I think husband needs to get a medical power of attorney to someone other than wife.
First story; NTA. He is 100% putting that on little Juniper. He is 100% manipulating that baby. Please do this for Juniper though, tell her that you aren't her mommy, because her daddy had her with another woman, and that she passed away too soon after that (in an age appropriate way obviously), but that her mommy loves her and is watching her from the sky.
Story 1 - NTA. I'd send him a video right back with, "You F'ed around and now your Karma lives with you. Have fun." Then block him and keep your kids away from HIS child.
Why can't your idiot husband drop your kids off? He needs to tell Juniper about her own mother. You are not her mother, try to limit contact as much as possible. Stop driving your kids over and picking them up. If you have to go back to court and explain to the judge, show the judge the video and tell him what's going on so your husband can pick up and drop off the children without Juniper, if not get the court to appoint someone to do it.
Story 2: I have a feeling that the husband agrees with MIL but doesn't want to be the "bad guy". The way he was sitting there snickering with his mum during the play is disgusting
Yes Op you were the AH for not letting the friend visit; however was your husband unconscious the whole time because if not he can/should have told the friend and hospital to come see him. Quite easy to call the hospital and get the # to the room.
He might not know how to get there. My SIL doesn't know Raliegh like my husband and MIL do (hubby used to drive past it EVERY week for work). She rode with us to visit my FIL.
How does husband not see or care how this is hurting his child? No one has the right to decide what the daughter will be except herself. Get her away from these evil people. Reassure your child these comments are wrong and cruel.
I have a sinking suspicion gma wouldn't like "constructive critism" aimed at her. it's like op isn't even in a relationship. how could she be when her hubby still has his umbilical cord attached. holy crap...
Story 1 Your ex is the father his affair baby is his problem not yours so you positively refuse he wants you to rear his baby let him find another lose woman because he had a affair he trying to get you to rear his daughter and so he can go Tom Catting again and surprise if he finds another woman he never come back for her,I suggest you talk to his mother and tell her he needs to understand you are the ex for a extremely good reasons
F-MIL, MAKING SUCH A VERY VERY BIG DIFFERENCE, MIL is VERY VERY JEALOUS PITTING THEM AGAINST EACH OTHER. MIL IS JEALOUS OF BOTH of YOUR GIRLS. TRYING TO MESS THEM UP MENTALLY. ON PURPOSE. EVIL MIL
Should give MIL/grandma some “constructive” criticism yourself. Like “You should get a better hobby because bullying children (especially your own grandchild) isn’t a good look.”
For the husband who w9n’t stop his mother bullying his daughter: next time OP is intimate with him, she should tell him “that performance was disappointing.” Under the guise of “constructive criticism.”
'It's a shame you can't divorce him twice' exceptional.
She can, but she would have to marry him again and that's just 🤮
Yea exceptionally cringe. Such a heartless reply. Take care of the goddamn child, shes still her kids half sister. No wonder the ex cheated. He probably wanted to experience human emotions.
@Gi Gi Yea, you probably do owe them something. "It takes a village" was how humans were raised for millenia. The growing disfunctionality in society, the growth of the "me, me. me. Its all about me" culture is a side effect of humanity losing that.
You think i'd let my niece go into fostercare or to her shithole absent father if something were to happen to my sister? Fuck no. If one of my friends with kids was to die and the kids didn't have direct family willing to take them in i'd happily take them in.
I get OP not wanting the kid to call her "mom" and the text was a shitty thing to do. but OP is shit too because, really, how much more effort would having one additional kid for a couple nights a month really add to her relaxing life? Virtually none since it sounds like shes attached to her half siblings.
I feel for that kid.
@Gi Gi If i had children with my ex, meaning the kid would be their half sibling? Fuck yes. If no other kids were involved, no probably not.
@@harrydresden4661 Wow, you must be some sort of saint taking in & providing for every needy child out there, including all of those created by your exes. OP has _no responsibility_ (not in time, emotional or financial support) to the child her ex-husband created while cheating with another woman, period, end of story. She is the half sibling to OP's children, yes, but that does not make her OP's daughter.
That she is welcoming of her sons developing a relationship with her while visiting their father, & is kind to the girl, is all that is reasonable to expect. The ex cheated to get his rocks off, irresponsibly created a life he wasn't prepared to take care of, then the woman involved unfortunately (tragically) lost her life. He is now trying to duck his responsibilities by pawning his daughter off on someone else using emotional manipulation, instead of dealing with his current reality like a real man & parent. That you think it's reasonable to expect OP to start _sharing custody_ of this child is just... mind boggling.
Remember, a victim of adultery *never* owes anything to their ex’s affair-child.
Or the ex
@@lrock48 Also true.
@@Austenfan177 You're right. He could just hire a babysitter or a nanny but that wouldn't be free.
Jamestown, True! Yeah, the child is innocent but the hurt spouse is innocent too. Don’t punish the innocent spouse.
Poor kid probably understands her daddy's ex-wife would be a better mother to her then her own dirtbag parents who probably get divorced soon again.
Story 2: I will not allow a so-called grandmother to put down my child like that. I would ban both husband and MIL from her performance. That is crossing a big line.
Tell the husband to divorce you and go marry his mother instead
You're absolutely right. My kid will not be the only one crying and upset. I will humiliate, cuss out and/or ridicule that old bytch and claim it's just constructive criticism of her grandparenting techniques.
I’m a professional musician and have been to some pretty bad performances. Still, the one thing I NEVER DO is criticize people, especially right after the end of a performance. It’s rude and discouraging. I will only offer criticism if asked, and even then, I do my best to approach those conversations in a positive way, i.e., “have you ever tried _____ ?” Not, “that was pretty disappointing. MIL and husband are both huge asses for their behavior. And, as usual, OP definitely has a husband problem, not necessarily a MIL problem. And if they keep it up and OP doesn’t defend her, daughter will figure out she has an OP, Father, and MIL problem and write all of them out of her life.
"You SUCK! kid!" is NOT criticism, constructive or otherwise. Mom needs to tell the kid that Grandma is just jealous because she's never had any talent herself. Kids will stop trying - At All - over crap like that.
Mom should say to the daughter, in front of MIL, "You see what happens when you don't have any manners? You don't want to grow up like Granny, do you? I thought you did beautifully!"
How could op's husband find a woman to have his kids when he was married but can't give his daughter a healthy mother figure?
LMAO RIGHT????
He wants the op to do it.
Because he has responsibilities now. In the past, it was OP that took care of everything while he gallivanted and fucked around. But now, he has a daughter 24/7, so he can't, especially if Op won't "just do the right thing and parent all his affair kids too" so he can continue life unchanged.
He's still hoping to get back together.
@@Original_Tenshi_Chan Jfc, that's pretty disgusting. People like that should NOT be having children
Sounds like the grandma is purposefully putting her granddaughter down to get her to quit piano cuz thats what she wants. Shes evil and doing it for her OWN interests.
And father is allowing it for the same reason.
@@singaporesammy And they’re both idiots. The amount of research that demonstrates a music education is beneficial in many different careers is pretty staggering. Daughter may not even become a pianist, but music teaches logical thinking/processing skills that could help her in many ways, including medicine if for some GOOD reason she decided she wanted to pursue a career in medicine. Right now, they only thing they’re doing is ensuring daughter will want nothing to do with them in the future.
Grandma has an obvious favorite so has to tear one down to keep her in her place.
@@tunatofu63 that was my thought. This Chloe must be the golden child of MIL's golden child. It feels like OP's husband was likely the scape goat and now that he sees he can get on mommy-dearest's "good" side by helping to tear down the new scape goat, he's backed off to spare himself the pain. You know, instead of being a decent human and parent and cutting off the vile thing that birthed him and/or protecting his daughter.
@@singaporesammy OP is no better. She sees it happen and hates it but just shrugs and let's it continue to happen. Even meakly telling husband not to invite her.
As a mother..... My jaw dropped at how MIL treated that sweet girl. I would have slapped my MIL in the face the FIRST time I heard some shit like that. Her MIL is a horrible hag, who on earth talks to a child like that 🤬
Exactly!! 👊🏾💥🤕
Op should tell her mil she has a lousy performance as a grandma and failed at raising hubby
I seriously think my head would've exploded. They would've been pulling me off her, she's literally destroying her granddaughter. OP NEEDS to get out of that marriage, it's only going to get worse.
OP, you need to record what MIL is doing, document this abuse
@@yoopwi1 she could cheer her daughter up by making a game out of it.
"I sighed and did nothing." And that is what makes OP also an idiot in the second story. Why is nobody actually protecting this little girl?
My grandfather was like this. Gave money to my cousins on Christmas, while looking me dead in the eye, at my parents' house. I was six. He gave me a gift when I was four, only to pull it out of my hands telling me, that on second thought, my cousin deserved it more. And he did many other things to make sure I knew just how much he hated me. He and my grandmother were my only grandparents and thanks to him I never even had grandparents at all. It really messed me up.
The minute this happens more than once, you revoke their grandparent rights.
That's so terrible. I'll never understand people who treat children that way.
EXACTLY!
Your parents should have put their foot down on him telling him that if he doesn't treat you like the rest of his grandkids (and it doesn't sound like there's any reason not to) that he won't be seeing you anymore.
My mom would have smacked her MIL to Hell and back if she said anything to me.
The story with the twin sisters: You can tell that OP has taught her daughters well. Her 15 soon to be 16 year old took the news well about not having a custom dress, and apologized to her sister for something an adult did? Yeah OP is doing something right. Really right.
I thought the same thing. Sadly, it's more common to hear a teenager throw a tantrum like a toddler when they don't get their way. When OP said one twin daughter apologized to the other twin daughter I was surprised. Like you said, "OP is doing something right".
I was actually surprised by that reaction, given how excited she was about the dress, but it was a pleasant surprise. It says a lot about how much they care about each other too. The one apologizing to the other... It wasn't her fault, & she had no reason to think MIL was going to exclude her sister. She's certainly more mature than MIL.
@@KyrieChiiGood point. I hadn't thought anything about MIL's maturity level compared to the teen's but you are so right.
I think this also goes to show that the favoritism is pretty obvious and this is not a situation of Anne being deprived just to make things 'fair' (as in, when one kid gets a privilege and the other kid throws a fit about it).
Anyone who destroys their family by having an affair is a crap parent, end of story! And this guy’s actions with affair baby proves it! Stop picking the kids up at his house. Have a relative or friend pick them up drop them off.
OP could have shut her crap down a long time ago! Oh yeah proof you should never marry a mama’s boy!
YTA and a controlling bully! It’s clear she dislikes Adam or is jealous of the friendship.
Story #1; ex-hubby is the AH 💯
This is a disgusting way to treat the mother of his children and his youngest child. This is not how an "awesome father" behaves 😡
I agree and blaming her because his older kids don’t want anything to do with him is his fault not hers.
Honestly, the worst kind of men in the world are the possessive and controlling types, mamas boys, ones who only care about Trophy Wives, and the manipulative types who tries gaslight someone into parenting because they failed to do their job as a parent.
Story 2: next time Grandma tries to put down your daughter’s performance, yell at her. Make sure everyone in the room can hear you so that they know what she is doing. Then ask her if she is embarrassed. The answer will obviously be yes. Then make it clear that every time she decides to bully your daughter’s performance you will do the same thing. So she can either stop coming or keep her mouth shut.
Good idea. My thought was to ask her loudly what qualifications she has to make such critical and crushing comments about a child's performance (especially if she doesn't play the piano). If she isn't a trained performer herself hit her with that. And the husband can be tossed to the dogs if he continues to act this way.
Exactly this!
Yep, you CANNOT reason with these types of people(MIL) or their enablers(husband). You HAVE to fight fire with fire and that means shaming the husband in public too.
Story 2 - there is a golden child in Grandma’s family, and he’s not it. He’s desperately hoping if he lets her bully his daughter, she’s reward him for being a “good son.” It won’t work, but he’s likely been raised to always think if he makes one more sacrifice mom will love him. Its terrible, and pathetic, and praise to the op for shutting it down.
my guess is the golden child is the parent of the other granddaughter
Story 2: OP, time to start dishing out 'constructive criticism' about MIL dearest right to her face. Hubby as well.
That phrase is almost as crappy as "I just tell it like is" or others when they stick up for them by saying "well you know thats just how they are"
Start with his poor performance in bed then add. "It's not surprising since your mother owns your balls."
OP’s ex is a total AH! She doesn’t owe ex or his child anything.. to do what ex wanted her to do would lead to more and more of ex pushing the child off on OP..
Story 2.. OP should leave that AH an put MIL on a NC diet..
The ex should put the crybaby brat in foster care. That's what she deserves.
The ex should just put the annoying toddler in a foster home.
The affair child isn’t OPs problem. She wasn’t even technically supposed have been born. Ex decided to sleep with a woman and have a baby with her. He can’t expect his Ex-wife to want to raise an affair baby. It sucks for the child but you can’t just force this baby on to another person and guilt her with videos of her crying. He needs to sit down and parent and talk to his child and tell her that OP isn’t her mom and to stop calling her that. OP doesn’t have to take the child with her when she leaves. She’s not her responsibility
While I feel super bad for that innocent little girl who didn’t ask to be born into such a terrible situation, OP owes her ex 0 kindness! It sounds like OP is kind to the child and treats her like a semi familiar child, her ex is the only AH. I would tell OP to report her ex to her lawyer. He’s emotionally and psychologically abusing his youngest child and I’m sure his older child can/will see what a douche he is. OP is NTA!
That story is the perfect example on why cheaters are the scum of the world
Also, the fact her mother "was in the system" doesn't matter. The ex can find someone dense enough to care for someone else's kid. OP is not it.
First story: The ex is trying to get back into OP's pants. Simply because he keep telling Juniper the op is her mother when she's not. Now, he's getting desperate because OP is shutting that down. What OP should do is go back to the courts and mediate for a better co-parenting plan.
Second story: Tell your husband that, if she does become a doctor you hope she becomes a plastic surgeon. Then, MIL can actually look human for once. But, OP should seriously divorce that man and let the daughter choose who to stay with.
Third story: Technically, the hospital can decide who can actually be there. But, damn, OP should let Adam visit once.
Fourth story: Wait until Ann grows tired of MIL. Then, she'll be running to Rachel with the hope her actions isn't going to make her lose them both.
Fifth story: The whole point of being an adult is to do things our parents forced us to give up. The fact that they want you to be miserable shows that SIL is trying to be an adult and failing at it.
That piano grandma reminds me of mine. She disowned us when I was 7 because she only wanted her 3 favorites who were active dancers
I would have explained to my child why gramdma was being mean. It is a good lesson in manipulation. Teach her that you need to stand up to manipulation
Don't do that. It might actually work in getting the girl to quit
As an adult (20's to 40's) I slept with a stuffed frog. I couldn't fall asleep unless froggy was with me me. SIL is the AH and I wonder how long the marriage will last. I wish we had a photo of the blue bear. Sounded cute.
I still have my teddy bear given to me from birth. I don’t sleep with it but teddy is still an important thing of comfort to me so in my room. I see it as, as long as it’s not creepy, nothing wrong with a stuff best friend.
I'm 45 and sleep with my unicorn (Winston) every night. I was suffering terrible nightmares and waking up screaming multiple times a night. Winston has been the only thing to keep the nightmares at bay since I got him from a friend last year. ❤️ and yes, I've tried to not sleep with him and have nightmares when I don't. He's my little guardian. 😊
@@nicolecodbrajoe5229 I finally had to retire Froggy, but now I have live cats. They wake me up when I have nightmares. Whatever works.
@@lyndatuttle My cats (R.I.P.) were no help with nightmares. I scared them and they ran like hell. 🤭 I'm glad your cats are there for you. ❤️
@@nicolecodbrajoe5229 I think it helps I have 2 different types. Ginny, my oldest at 12, has been with me through a lot. She will tap my face with her paw or lick my nose, which usually wakes me. The Greys, a mother and her two girls, just jump on me if I don't wake up from Ginny.
There would be no Juniper situation or Juniper issue if he hadn't cheated.
His first wife has no obligation to take of other people's children and she's being a good parent by building bonds between the children.
I'm guessing your mother-in-law wants your daughter to be a doctor because that's what she wanted your husband to be and he failed her. Encourage your daughter to continue playing the piano and stop telling your husband and mother-in-law where the performances are since they can't support her
This is so sad for the affair kid. However it’s not your fault and your ex is unreasonable
Story 2: OP should divorce her man-child husband and file a restraining order against her crazy MIL.
I'm tired of people compartmentalizing. If he cheated on you, his wife and the mother of his children, he is NOT a good father. A good father doesn't selfishly tear up his children's lives like that. And his blaming you, OP, shows how little he is aware of how his own actions look to his kids. Cheating affects everyone - not just the person who was cheated on.
This exactly. My father cheated while he was staying in the apartment I had rented. And I had to be the one to tell my mom when I found out because my father didnt wanted to say s**t. It obviously affected me a lot even if I was an adult at the time. The older kids those 2 have understand and thats why they are not talking to their dad.
@@AmomenttobeReal I'm sorry for what you had to go through. I don't know why it's so hard for people to acknowledge that cheating doesn't only affect the significant other. It affects the friends' group. It affects the in-laws. And it definitely affects the kids. I think she's trying to believe the best in him because she still has to deal with him in regards to the three kids but it would be better for her to admit - to herself - that he is a selfish tool who wants to live life as he pleases. He doesn't want that baby girl, he wants to pawn her off on someone else so he can screw around some more.
Exactly. The dad may get along well with his kids and feed and care for them properly, but he did something heinous enough that it caused his family to be torn in two. That is not something a good father would do. And he's trying to make things even worse by guilting his innocent ex into taking care of the product of his affair. More points lost.
This story reminds me of old tale my late mother told. The story goes like this. A young boy dreams to be an actor. His parents criticized him every time he performed. Same way op mother in law did. But he ignored them, became one of the highest paying actors. When his parents wanted to benefit from his success. He said no. Why give you something, because you didn’t believe in me. It’s a story that shown me, that don’t let people, family and friends bring you down. Be determined, go for your dreams. Op daughter should listen to story, it’s long one, but well known. Maybe one day we would hear op daughter playing in Carnegie Hall. Where all the famous musicians played.
OP sould start 'constructively' criticising he husband's performance in bed, and then move on to 'constructively' criticisng MIL's parenting skills (re her son!) I would wipe the floor with the pair of them.
14:39 correct "Moms are the first line of defense" to "Parents are the first line of defence" and I will agree with you. Sometimes it's the father that does that job.
Absolutely
1. DO NOT let him drop off the boys. He would probably drop them off WITH juniper and then drive away before you can stop him. You are not this childs mother. The father needs to stop this and correct his daughter. I do think dad is encouraging this.
St 2 about the evil grandma- Op, you don't have a mother in law problem, you have a husband problem. Your husband is a spineless coward. What father allows his daughter to be abused like this??
Grandma wouldn't have any teeth if it were my daughter being put down.
1. Pick up your kids away from the baby.
Yeah. OP can arrange for handoffs to be done by her lawyer.
Am sorry that this poor toddler has no mother but the ex can't expect op to fill the void. The most he can expect is civil treatment and invites to her siblings birthday at best given the details she wrote in the post. The ex really should find another woman considering this plan to get op to be her mom isn't working.
He found a woman when he was married. How hard is it gonna be for him to find a woman now that he's single?
The dad needs to step up and take care of the kid and explain things, he might not be telling her that's her mom but he's definitely letting her believe it.
He must have females in his family. One of them could step into help. My granddaughter's mother just doesn't want to be her mom anymore. My daughter's and I have stepped up. My son also had a female friend there. He is an amazing dad, and now his friend is his girlfriend. My granddaughter is thriving from all of us being there.
Second story: Op put your damn foot down! Your daughter is being hurt in ways that scar for a life time! It will spill over into everything she enjoys! Protect your baby girl because she's too young to protect herself. Bring your supportive friends, cheer her on, give her flowers! You need to show her that she has an amazing drive and spirit!
Send him a picture of him and the affair woman and ask happy now. Also if the little girl is still crying long after you've gone, he isn't doing it right.
SHE SHOULD NOT BE AROUND WHEN THEY GET PICKED UP. HE IS MESSING WITH THAT GIRL 4 CHILD CARE
Story 1: My favorite line: I think I saw his balls outside of Target!! 😂😂😂 NTA!
Last story. To most adult eyes, bringing and owning a teddy bear is childish. But, it's hers and it's none of their business. Many adults have something childish that matters to them. For example, I'm 25 and I still love to read comics and watch anime (so does my supervisor and coworkers). SIL is an idiot for disregarding op's wishes and basically taking op's property and giving it to her daughter.
Op's bear is what is referred to in mental health as a coping mechanism. Some people smoke, some fidget, some self harm, OP has a stuffed animal that let's her teel safe, frankly its one of the better self developed coping mechanisms I've heard of, while I would recommend she seek treatment for her anxiety, having a teddy isn't hurting anyone.
Oh as for adults owning teddies, I'm a 37 year old man, ontop of my wardrobe is a stuffed care bear that I've had since I was a baby. I may rarely think of it, touch it or even look at it, but I will never throw it away, it's important to me just knowing it's there, it's a reminder of my grandmother who passed nearly 30 years ago.
Thank you to both of you for explaining what needed to be understood about the teddy bear. SIL was way out of line giving the bear to her child and the rude things she said to OP. I am so glad OP's brother has a shiny spine.
Story 2: I honestly would've told that MIL to shut the f*ck up and not to put my child down like that. But I have a potty mouth and don't have the "greatest" relationship with mine 😆
Last story: NTA adult or not if you need the bear you need the bear, comfort objects are a thing. Obviously the little girl has no fault in this because any little girl would want to play with a pushie if they find it cute, but SIL should had told her no or at least ask OP if her daughter could play with the bear first. The bear is OP's property and she can't just give it to her daughter, then refuse to give it back and walk away with it. OP's brother is amazing.
Damn if my wife treated my best friend who is basically my brother like that, id honestly be considering divorcing. Id fear what if i became sick and unable to care for myself and the person who makes all the decisions for me is someone who makes them out of their own goodwill rather than mine.. Not something i want to have lingering in the back of my head
Agreed he came from out of town surely during the 3 days he called she could have let him come even for an hour, she's the overbearing one, if I was the husband I would've been pissed too.
Of course she did. It says they wanted to see him so there was no time for the friend. Should just cheat on her and say we'll I decided what's best for me is to humiliate you.
Good morning XOS. The MIL would be sitting at home with hubby the next time my daughter had an event. That's toxic and needs to stop. Have a great day
Re Story 1: Spot on re all the comments, esp the last one. If OP does something that makes Juniper unhappy, say, says no she can't have ice cream for dinner, for example, ex will say, "You're not her mother." OP can't win, and good enough won't ever be good enough in ex's eyes. Ex needs to suck it up and deal with the fall-out of his choices. OP has no obligation to Juniper but to treat her courteously when they meet; OP does that. Ex doesn't get a holiday from parenting HIS child.
Easiest way to avoid the problems that arise when you have kids with different parents is to not cheat on your wife.
Wedding Bear: There is a difference between sharing and stealing. Sharing is for cookies. Boundaries are to be observed with personal items. You can't just go into her purse if she asks you to watch it for you, now can you? It was not hers to give to anyone else, nor hers to deny you. No means no, ALWAYS, and that is a lesson every child needs to understand, whether it be their body or their toys. Sounds like the Bride hasn't learned it yet.
I would say the only thing OP could possibly apologize for would be asking the bride to do something for her on the wedding day. Other than that, the bride's behavior was less mature than OPs by far. OP only wanted to resolve things quietly.
I feel bad for the little girl but NTA. The ex is a massive a-hole. I'm honestly not sure how a single father to a very small child should go about explaining the truth to that child, but it needs to be done. Sad as it is, she has no mommy, just a daddy, and her brothers have a different mommy.
" i think I've seen your exes balls outside the target" that killed me! 😳 🤣🤣🤣
S1- no, nope, nuh uh! You are not a replacement mother, nor is the child your responsibility. Anyone calling you an ah is an ah themselves. Sure she’s innocent, but that doesn’t make you any less innocent as well. He’s the one who f up.
OP keep the baby, charge him child support and cut him off. Poor OP and poor baby. The child is reacting innocently to the goodness of OP's heart and motherly touch.
That did cross my mind but it would be a lot of legal time and money to be able to do that. I'd be petty enough to do it, but not for everyone.
Why should she keep the baby? She's had 4 and is finishing up on the final 2. Daddy had his fun and games. Let him be responsible and raise/keep his own baby. Enough is enough.
@@reneedaughter He's betting on OP's generosity and he thinks she will take him back.
@@alexm.7714 That would be like a "dog returning to its own vomit". I reiterate daddy has to be responsible for his own child.
Some other folks on this thread suggested that she rearrange the pick up and drop off arrangements. She should go to court and have it so ordered.
Story 1 is the main reason why I hate cheaters so much they don’t care that they are not only hurting their partner but also their children
I hope dude leaves OP. No way her family took up all visiting hours for three days. She’s controlling and doesn’t care about her husband. Gross.
Story 2 The mil clearly doesn't enjoy her granddaughter's piano performances so she shouldn't be invited.
You cannot be an awesome dad ever if you are disrespecting and cheating on your wife, their mother, in front of them. What kind of example are you? Is certainly not an example of a good dad
A hero mom and a dad with a spine who stands up to his mother and supports his wife. Your girls are very lucky to have both of you. It's shocking how many spineless parents come up in these Reddit stories, so finding the good couples are like finding diamonds buried in shit.
I only think he was initially trying to stop OP because she was even scaring him with the look I'm sure she had on her face 😂😂
The first story I would change how you exchange kids. Not the baby’s fault but neither is it the ex wife’s. She shouldn’t have to deal with his affair baby
Much as I feel for Juniper esp as the hurt is gonna may well last her whole life...it's understandable that you don't want to play mom in this case
Hes doing it to show the court that you have a active roll and should be required to do all the things her mother would do with the courts permission. He trying to legally make you her mother without your consent. Better hope he not telling people your going to adopt her but stay divorced, bc you have kids and he needs to do whatever it is he does, get a lawyer, this could get out of hand quickly
2nd story very clear the mil is actively trying to manipulate the daughter into giving up anything that gets in the way of being a doctor.
Play soccer? Worse game I have ever seen. Well see you at the next game
Cooking? This pork is so raw I can still hear it singing hakuna matata. That was horrific see you next sunday for dinner.
Anything short of being a doctor will be a disappointment with mil.
Last story 100% before the wedding sil said "I do not want your sister to bring a kid's toy to my wedding, she needs to grow up."
If my MIL was bullying my daughter after her recital every time and my husband was defending her. It wouldn’t have happened but a couple times for me to realize it was going to be a pattern and I would have torn so many strips off that woman, there wouldn’t have been any strips left. When I was finished with her I would have looked him straight in the eye and told him he was next. They both would be knowing better than to think they were welcome to any future recitals until they could get their sht together and act like adults and actually be supportive or next time I wouldn’t be so kind. Lol
He’s just trying to hand off his affair baby to you. Tell him NO and mean it. You are definitely NTA and your EX is the biggest AH.
Her ex is disgusting.... he wants to dump the child
First story-
This seems super harsh but save the texts and videos and tell him to his face “you try this crap ONE more time it’ll be with the lawyer and the judge signing away your custody rights.” Full stop.
Lol 😂 BABY CRYING 😢 POOR BABY DADDY. Lol 😂 BABY CRYING IS HELL OF FUNNY 😄 IGNORE GIRL, NOT YOUR CHILD, THE DAD IS ABSOLUTELY PUTTING HER UP 2 PULL HER HEART ❤️ STRINGS.
Piano: if husband continues to invite his mommy I'd start "telling it like it is" and throw the husband out.
Hospital husband, Your Husband should have had wife and family removed from the room and not let them back in until he saw his friend. Patients have rights and unless he's in a comma and can't advocate for himself he decides who's in room and who isn't.
Depends if a power of attorney was in use as well. Yeah I just re-listened to it, wife was a bitch.
Everytime your husband and mil does something put them down and and say it's just constructive criticism and to suck it up.
"Just telling it how it is" grandma combined with the narrator makes her sound like the villain in a British sitcom. I imagine Mr. Bean coming along in a bit to doofus her into submission
Oh that first story, the father trying to guilt op into treating juniper as her own is vomit worthy. Take those vids to family court, because he clearly is not a good father.
Story 1 call cps on your ex.
Story 2 you need a divorce lawyer. That is emotionaly abuse dont let your daughter be abused by your husband and his mother.
Story 3 i hope your husband divorce you you sond awfull abusing.
Story 4 good job for defending mental health of your daughter.
Story 5 you have an amasing brother.
CPS for what exactly?
@@ButtonsCasey Emotionaly abuse of little child that shitt is worse than a beating. And he sends a proof of his abuse to his ex wife.
Music is super beneficial to kids and a lot of my friends played instruments up through university but studied and got jobs in the sciences. Who knows what the little girls will end up doing.
1st story I wonder if OP's ex told his daughter that real mom is dead? Probably not OP needs to go to court with evidence & get custody changed out she was right in telling Juniper (Geez what kind of a name is that?) that she's not her mom & is hands off with her. Ex needs to be a parent & take care of his kid that he had with AP now dead "Karma" but thinks he can manipulate his ex into being the new mommy for his daughter inexcusable. He should move on & look for a new mommy.
Juniper: Turn up and let your children make their own way to the car, or neutral third party and location.
1st 'Awesome Dad' means he is the fun Dad and puts most of the responsibilities on OP. How pathetic this man is.
This man is delusional. HE needs to be there more for Juniper, not you. She's his kid, not yours. He is failing, not OP.
It is not the child's fault. Or OP's. It's his. Three years old or not, he needs to talk to his child and show her more affection. Emotionally blackmailing the loyal wife he cheated on is not the right path.
That Evil Granma who keeps putting down the kid's piano performance need to get a Will Smith slap in the mouf.
YTA op not letting hubby’s friend visit. Smh. When my mom was in hospice at home we had a lot of visitors and i was scheduling visits. Her former co-workers who live an hour away and are older were planning on coming down to visit as well as another family friend that lived a few hours away. Another local friend wanted to visit too and i said another day would be better and she was highly offended and pissed off. To me the far away friends who had to get their schedules together to come down trumped any local people especially in that time slot My mom was annoyed too the lady was pissed and was like oh well. The lady was part of their little senior lunch crew but was the “Karen” of the group, nobody really liked her but she was still in their little group
The husband’s friend should have been scheduled in somewhere. Its not he just popped over and said it now or never
St 1 - 100% NOT the idiot. Your husband is a horrible person. He is the reason Juniper is suffering. If he wants a mother for HIS child, then he should marry one. Expecting your ex wife that you cheated on is ridiculous.
First story. Oh did you F around and find out OP’s? Too bad. Raise your own affair baby.
Wife refusing husband's best friend to visit him. She's controlling and selfish. Maybe before, she hid this side well. Now that husband is incapacitated, she's showing her real side. She doesn't care about her husband's wish to see his best friend. Why would she allow this 'competitor' of her husband's affection to intrude with 'family' support. Selfish in the sense that she only thinks of what she wants and not her husband's... I think husband needs to get a medical power of attorney to someone other than wife.
You are clearly jealous of your husbands friend, are you afraid that are closer then just friends?
Likely OP doesn't have friends. Gee, I wonder why...
HAVE SOMEONE ELSE PICK THEM UP. SEND AN UBER. HE IS TELLING GIRL WHAT TO SAY
First story; NTA. He is 100% putting that on little Juniper. He is 100% manipulating that baby. Please do this for Juniper though, tell her that you aren't her mommy, because her daddy had her with another woman, and that she passed away too soon after that (in an age appropriate way obviously), but that her mommy loves her and is watching her from the sky.
Story 1 - NTA. I'd send him a video right back with, "You F'ed around and now your Karma lives with you. Have fun." Then block him and keep your kids away from HIS child.
I just realized the footage is from Singapore. What a beautiful place.
Unless you're gay.
Yeah, I knew that from like the thousands of surveillance cameras in every shot.
Why can't your idiot husband drop your kids off? He needs to tell Juniper about her own mother. You are not her mother, try to limit contact as much as possible. Stop driving your kids over and picking them up. If you have to go back to court and explain to the judge, show the judge the video and tell him what's going on so your husband can pick up and drop off the children without Juniper, if not get the court to appoint someone to do it.
Story 1 OP's EX is a huge AH for what he's trying to pull. Juniper wouldn't be crying if he didn't cheat and conceive her with someone else
Story 2: I have a feeling that the husband agrees with MIL but doesn't want to be the "bad guy". The way he was sitting there snickering with his mum during the play is disgusting
The first story is just heartbreaking for the baby😢😢😢😢 I feel so bad for her…the fact that she’s yearning for a mommy😢😢 Really made me tear up
Yes Op you were the AH for not letting the friend visit; however was your husband unconscious the whole time because if not he can/should have told the friend and hospital to come see him. Quite easy to call the hospital and get the # to the room.
It sounds like, unlike OP, he was trying to be respectful.
He might not know how to get there. My SIL doesn't know Raliegh like my husband and MIL do (hubby used to drive past it EVERY week for work). She rode with us to visit my FIL.
I have a fee!ing that somewhere in the back of her mind, she suspects that her hubby and Adam are MORE than friends. I think so, too.
How does husband not see or care how this is hurting his child? No one has the right to decide what the daughter will be except herself. Get her away from these evil people. Reassure your child these comments are wrong and cruel.
I have a sinking suspicion gma wouldn't like "constructive critism" aimed at her. it's like op isn't even in a relationship. how could she be when her hubby still has his umbilical cord attached. holy crap...
I like the brother at the end, thank God he protected his sister's needs over sil and her daughter's fun
Last story: the brother is awesome
Story 1
Your ex is the father his affair baby is his problem not yours so you positively refuse he wants you to rear his baby let him find another lose woman because he had a affair he trying to get you to rear his daughter and so he can go Tom Catting again and surprise if he finds another woman he never come back for her,I suggest you talk to his mother and tell her he needs to understand you are the ex for a extremely good reasons
This is on your ex to take care of this. He is a lowlife.
F-MIL, MAKING SUCH A VERY VERY BIG DIFFERENCE, MIL is VERY VERY JEALOUS PITTING THEM AGAINST EACH OTHER. MIL IS JEALOUS OF BOTH of YOUR GIRLS. TRYING TO MESS THEM UP MENTALLY. ON PURPOSE. EVIL MIL
Nina, lower your voice!
Story 2: tell grandma that kids who study music also do better academically
Gradma is not smart enough to learn piano
Story #3; YTA. Get counseling and couples counseling and more individual counseling BEFORE hubby feels the need to seek divorce legal counsel
Should give MIL/grandma some “constructive” criticism yourself. Like “You should get a better hobby because bullying children (especially your own grandchild) isn’t a good look.”
For the husband who w9n’t stop his mother bullying his daughter: next time OP is intimate with him, she should tell him “that performance was disappointing.” Under the guise of “constructive criticism.”
Damn, can only give 1 official like, but that suggestion is pure😈. Hope op reads and does it.