Story 1: Lady, what exactly do you see in this man? I can undestand wanting to have a nap after work because you are exausted, but this is straight up neglecting your family because you want to play videogames at night.
@@f687sNFM Right? People stay together for the sake of the children?? No just no if u think your kids don't see or pick up on the tension and arguing you're sadly mistaken, I think that's worse than them going through their parent's divorce, not saying that's easy either but better in the long run.
@@arleneclark6369 it actually is proven (as much as something like that can be proven) that generally, children are better off in a complete family with a low conflict level than a happier “broken” one, because they can’t understand the reasoning behind the separation and often blame themselves or one parent more than the other. It’s only beneficial if the conflict inside the family is more severe than it would be if they were divorced. I’m not a fan of that conclusion, but it’s fresh on my mind from yesterday’s sociology class. In this case I think it would be better to divorce though (Don’t stay together with a person you don’t love, I am just still reeling from the required reading and need someone to suffer with me)
Right? My husband has a demanding hobby (botany) that closely relates to his job and has been essential to his success. It requires time and effort to find and document specimens (e.g. some species have very narrow bloom and fruiting windows or are only found accidentally while exploring in hard to reach areas). So this hobby takes work, and is very rewarding. But the second our son needs something, or that I am sick, he drops everything to be there and supportive. He is a father and husband before anything else, and I cannot imagine him just ignoring even a minor problem at home just to botanize.
First Story: She’s basically a single mother at this point, and she’s “just as bad cuz she left him unsupervised”? Do you expect her to do all the housework WHILE watching her children’s every damn move?!
She's worse then a single parent. Her kid is burning and she's wasting important time trying to get her husband to answer over just getting her son to hospital. She needs to realise being in THIS relationship is harming her own children in so many ways.
@@jamiesheerdon1321 I think it was because they only have one car. OP says the neighbor ended up taking them to the hospital, implying that the husband had the keys to the family car. It seems like OPs husband came home and took a nap but forgot to leave car keys out of the locked room
@@day_dreamer9316 I agree with you somewhat but she has to realise by now he is a deadbeat that leaves her dealing with everything on her own and it's harming her kids even before this incident. She should never have bothered knocking on his door knowing he is a selfish and cares only for himself. 🙄 She is doing way more harm to her kids with him in the house then she ever could alone.
Another gamer schmuck. Your kid has hot oil burns, Capt. Happy. Can we pry your hands off your joystick long enough for you to drive him to the hospital?
@@sarahmesser6056 Not all individuals who enjoy video games are this inconsiderate or irresponsible. I'm an active gamer and have a full time job and a healthy happy long term relationship. Gaming is just like any other hobby... However when your priorities get screwed up like this guy, is when shit hits the fan and it's not just a hobby, but an addiction.
Story one: I'm so sorry OP had kids with a manchild. Document all of this lack of help with kids, divorce him, and fight tooth and nail for sole custody and the max child support you can get
First story with the gamer husband that locks himself in the room to nap....what if there was a fire? Good for OP for removing the lock. Parents are parents 24/7/365.
Addicted gamers are addicts, plain and simple. I had a friend who had a toddler daughter (she did not live with him full time) and would blow off visitation to game, would play literally for 24 hours straight (and I'm not exaggerating) and then go to work on less than 2 hrs of sleep. The game would log who had been on for how long, and he would average 18 hrs CONSECUTIVE without logging off on a daily basis. He'd have a few moments where he realized he was a terrible parent, would give up games cold turkey.... and then come slinking back for more addictive gaming for a month or so later. The good news is, I haven't seen him doing that for a while, maybe he's finally kicked his addiction.
@@Gregarious3 I’m almost thinking to get something to smolder and waft it under the door to see how much time before he realizes there might be a fire.
As a woman I was appalled at what she said. While I might have been thinking that geez he looks for things like my hubby I would never have said it to a subordinate. Now if we were close friends and joked often about stuff maybe but she was out of line and he returned fire. My hubbys and my inside joke is he cantvsee anything below his knees and I can't see anything above his chin lol but I'm 5'5" and he's 6'3" our son is 6'7". But geez I'd never include someone i work with in the joke.
@@Emeraldwitch30 Agreed, inside context is everything. She basically made her personal life turn to her work life, expecting her coworkers to go “oh haha youre a riot”, but in reality the guy who doesnt know her much likely(and rightfully,) took it as an attack.
@@Emeraldwitch30 Yeah. Once, I took hours looking all over town for a specific brand of tomato juice, sending my parents into a tizzy because I shouldn't have been gone that long and they had no idea where I was (pre-cellphone times). I was in my early teens at the time and, while usually responsible, still have a tendency to wander off in a daze. When I met Mom on my way home as she was searching for me, I explained what happened and she nearly collapsed saying I pulled a "dad" and that only men are supposed to be this particular. She then told me a story about a man whose wife sent him out to buy paint. Hours later, he calls from several cities over asking if he got the right sort. Difference is, I'm her *daughter* and she was worried sick about me. Also, Dad agreed that this is something men often do.
@@brigidtheirish my hubbybwent for whipped cream once and was gone an hour. He was worried cuz he knew I liked the spray can and the local store was out he ran to the next town over. I would have been fine without. But I know he told his buddies nothing strikes fear into him harder than when I tell him where something is and he says no he can't find it and I say. Do I need to show you? Cuz he knows its probably right where I told him it was lol. Thing is I rarely get mad about it but I don't let him forget it lol Its usually right on the shelf where its supposed to be. But I have tons of issues too so I try not to give him too much shit like that lol. They get even. They put all my stuff on high shelves and hide my footstool lol
Pro tip: any joke you share with your significant other is a joke that probably shouldn't be shared with the people with whom you work. That's wildly inappropriate no matter the subject.
What in the flying hell are you talking about? Any joke I tell my husband I shouldn’t tell at work? Any sex joke or dirty joke shouldn’t be repeated in the workplace to anyone you are not closed to or anyone you respond to…
I'd call the sister at random times "I see that you are in that coffee shop, I have google maps looking at it right now, you aren't eating any donuts that aren't on your diet are you?" or "I see you are at a doctor's office... Are you pregnant? Is there a disease that that you are hiding?" Heck, call her mother to see about her disease. >:) She wants to be creepy? I can be creepy.
What concerns me a bit more is that the husband's go-to response to someone disagreeing with him is to call the other person sensitive and paranoid. That's a hallmark of gaslighting behavior.
Story 1: wait, why did the neighbor have to drive you to the ER? Was he asleep with the car keys in the bedroom too or do you just not drive? Because if he's the only driver in the household, cutting off contact for hours is even more egregious. Send him and his console packing back to his mommy, she didn't finish raising him.
Story 1 OP why are you still with this man? Im shocked that you dont see it but please just kick him out already. He puts his naps and games ahead of his own kids and gets mad when the locks are gone
At this point, she probably does see it but it can be difficult for the stay-at-home parent with multiple kids to leave if they don't have an income and are financially reliant on the other partner. I hope she figures a way out because that man is not worth keeping
Man eyes story: Wow..the hypocrisy of OP is ridiculous. She literally made a sexist joke and got offended when he did the same thing. This is a huge double standard.
@@drizztdourden8111 Yeah. Dad was the sole male employee for a long time at the job he had from when I was three on into my twenties. (I think there was also a boy in the mailroom, but he was a temp and didn't interact with anyone.) He often came home grumbling because of something his female coworkers did, mostly the hens in editing. A lot of his coworkers were quite nice and I was even allowed to hang out with Dad whenever I had a bad day or just felt like helping out, but the editing department gave Dad a *lot* of trouble and he had to just put up with it.
I agree that she was being a bit hypocritical and she shouldn’t have written him up, but I feel like the reason why she was upset was Bc she made a joke that she felt was lighthearted(even though it was sexist and a bit rude since op and the Guy weren’t friends or anything) and he responded with a joke that was directed to be rude and snarky Bc he was offended. I get it, but if genders were reversed ppl would be way more pissed at op,
I would have taken the door off of the hinges after being locked out of my own bedroom. (I've done it before, when my second ex-husband pulled that on me.) Throw the whole man away, seriously.
It can be difficult though for the stay at home parent with multiple kids to leave if they don't have an income and are financially reliant on the other partner. I hope she figures a way out because that man is not worth keeping
I think the bride should be able to pick whoever she wants to walk her down the isle. My granpa already passed so my mom walked herself down. My friend is having just her mom walk her down for the same reason, while another had her uncle.
Yeah and what was with the last comment 🙄 it not like the mom force her way in and It sweet no more sexist like wtf ? Both of them support her, they both deserve the to walk here down tbh
I can see where he's coming from though. His wife is heavily involved in every step of the planning--dress, food, venue, etc. He has two things--the walk down the aisle and a daddy daughter dance. That's really it. Those are his only two active parts in the whole thing, those two moments before she's off and on to something else. It can be hard to be asked to lose that, to share that with someone who already had has a huge roll to play in the celebration.
I agree the bride chooses, my wife had her both her parents walk her down. Also, I'm SICK of hearing people say it has to do with "OwNeRsHiP". It's a symbolic tradition that has to do with loving your child enough that you want them to be happy. They're no longer a child and it's time to let them go. One of the hardest moments in a many parents lives.
The manager story, If only animes could learn the true double standards. Instead of being too freaking one-sided. How is it fair that Op’s joke is considered harmless, but when the joke is shot back at her it’s considered offensive. Either way bottom line never make sexist jokes, especially in the workplace.
Story 1 I think the only reason the husband realised OP and the kids were gone was because he was hungry and when he came he didn’t see dinner on the table and angry about that
I really like the comment from the parent that said all 4 parents walked the bride and groom and the officiant asked who walked these two through life and prepared them for life together. That's a beautiful way to do that and it gets rid of the misogynistic "who gives this woman" thing.
Gotta love how OP calls a subordinate less competent because he’s a man, then when he replies that they must find different things funny because she’s a woman she gets offended and claims he’s being sexist. Yes OP YTA, imo he did nothing wrong, he asked you to explain how the joke was funny and then instead of making a scene, he spoke with HR and requested a transfer. I really hope this is a troll post because it baffles me that anyone can be this dense.
You know, in the second story, the father is missing one very important fact…his daughter requested that they both walk her down the aisle, so OP needs to put HIS desires on the back burner and do it the way his daughter wants.
Did anyone notice that he said "my wife and I adopted "my" daughter" and not 'our' daughter? Perhaps he thinks it's his 'right' because his wife apparently isn't her parent also. And it's not totally unheard of for both parents to escort the bride as it's Jewish custom and maybe other religions also.
@@helenaw9533 That's true, I'm Jewish and both sets of parents walked each of us to the Huppah, only incase one or more of the parents dies or the couple requests otherwise (which isn't common) than the arrangement is different.
Story 1: NTA, my partner works 12-13 hour shifts 3-6 days a week starting at 4:30am and finishing at 4:30-5:30pm, and everyday he rushes home to spend as much time with our toddler as he can before our son goes to sleep. Only after he's asleep do WE play video games, and on his days off he might take a few hours to play during the day but our son always comes first and if he goes and wants attention, to go on a walk, to play, etc my partner will get up and go do whatever it is that our son wants. And this is from a man who never wanted to be a parent before we got pregnant. OP needs to get rid of the useless sack because it sounds like she'd be better off without him, she'd be able to go in and out of her own damn room and she wouldn't have to cook for him or clean up after this man baby who won't even get up from his precious nap to help tend to his son that was just burned by hot oil.
My father walked me down the aisle and when asked who gave the bride away he answered “Her mother and I do”. My father-in-law loved it so much, he did it at my sister-in-law’s wedding.
7:50 - OP is TA for making a sexist remark. I am a Feminist and I want EQUALITY in the workplace. This means we women are treated with respect as well as us treating the men with respect. All peeps are treated with respect and consideration no matter their age, sex, orientation, race, etc... To be sure, some people don't really care to really look for things. They'll take a quick glance and not try to take extra effort to pull things aside to see if what they are looking for is just behind something else. I find this to be a lazy attitude, not a gender one. If someone truly CARES and wants to put effort in their work, they will do what they can to try and fulfill their required tasks. OP could have reprimanded the new hire by simply showing them that the items were available but it appears the new hire doesn't think outside the box. No need to make gender stereotypical comments. OP should get in trouble with HR for this gaff.
I’m with you. If you truly wish for genuine equality in the workplace then you will expect EQUAL treatment for everyone regardless of gender unless there is a specific reason.
OP even says that the items were NOT where she told him they were, and were hidden behind a few other things. Also, when you are new at a job, sometimes it takes a while to find stuff that old hands can easily put their hands on, especially when, as noted, they aren't where you were told.
@@tgbedini Which means OP should get a mirror and take a good hard look at herself. If she can't give good instructions, maybe she shouldn't be a supervisor.
I had had times where I have found something in the same place that I had passed over three times. That's why I am a little ocd about 'everything in its place. My ex had a slightly different problem. If he went looking for something in the kitchen cupboard and had to move something to find it "it wasn't there" Front of the shelf paralysis, they call it
Story 1 : Why is she even entertaining the tantrums of a Man Child? Either counseling for a change in Him, or just divorce because it won't be getting any better.
The guy at 6:20 has their head on backwards! A father GIVING AWAY his property, sorry his daughter, is EXPLICITLY treating a woman as property. The father is transfering his ownership over his daughter to her husband (the new owner). Yes, it's disgusting BS. Just because it's tradition does not mean that it's a good tradition!
"Man eyes" story was hilarious. The joke was total shit. She insulted him with a sexist joke. He quipped back with a sexist joke. He 100% intentionally threw her bullshit back at her and then correctly guessed she would try to nail him for it. Im so proud of him for reading the room and going to HR first. Too funny!
Father giving his daughter away is patriarchal, but the good kind. He is giving his daughter to a man who will care for her. It's a loving act to the daughter to know that he approves of the man, but also to his son in law. People who are saying it's bad clearly don't have a loving father.
work story this is wat I always point out equality goes both ways. Not one way. She said something sexist n he reply with something sexist. But only she can be offended.
For the manager that thinks her "sexist joke" is ok but the guy's "sexist joke" was write up worthy, I hope reddit did its thing and comments tore her to shreds
Last story: The kids are old enough to drive, so they're old enough to decide where they want to live. The first reaction should have been to ask the kids if the arrangement really impacts their social and after school life and if switching to a week by week schedule would be preferable to them.
First story. Op…he had his ear buds in but his phone off…so how does he know to wake up in exactly couple hours… Maybe he had his phone turned down because there’s certain people that get on, on certain websites… As someone that works nights, it usually takes a hour for me to wind down, so this makes no sense to me. Also a gamer. And I’ve got kids. He’s probably doing something naughty…. Either way, that isn’t father material! Happy Easter to anyone that celebrates it!
Walking down the aisle story: I got married back in October and had both my parents walk me down the aisle. I wanted both of them there as they both raised me and are equally important to me. OP needs to respect his daughter’s wishes. It’s her day!
you do realize that the only participation dad gets is the walk? that's it. everything else is about mommy and bride. the wedding is NOT the bride's day. Period. Weddings are not about the people getting married...they are about announcing to the world that YOU are off the market. But I don't expect a person who uses harley quinn as a screen name to rational.
@@sk8ergrrl1 oh wow two things meant for the father while the mother is involved the entire time from the very beginning all the way through to the end... Yeah that seems fair
Last story: Whenever a man uses the term ‘she went ballistic’. He is trying to make the woman in question look like a crazy, hysterical woman. Because you see man being angry is valid, but a woman being angry is wrong!
My family uses one I’m the child in this honestly I like it my dad did this cute thing when my sister gets off work and she rides her motorcycle he would open the garage for her when she got close. Although my family is pretty chill about things so it’s more for safety than stalking.
@@MTGirlthegamer you realize the exact some thing could happen just by text messages right? Your sister can text on my way and your dad could open the door. Tracking each other is lazy and unhealthy. Talk to each other about your plans don’t just stock each other.
@@tracim3080 I mean everyone knows eachothers schedules (well at least me and my sisters they are retired) we don’t really stock there’s a different from being oh let me see how far out they are so I can can have dinner hot and ready and I must check where they are at at all time it’s really all about boundaries and it’s not really safe to leave your garage door open when the time home varies a lot at midnight. I think it really does come down to how well family respects boundaries it works well for my family but might not for others.
In the man-eyes story, she's lucky he clapped back. There's a very real possibility that had he taken his complaint to HR straight away instead of returning the insult, she would have been fired. OP is the type of person who thinks sexism is only wrong if it's from a man.
I am so sick of hearing parents who put video games over their children grow up it's a dumb game and a waste of time be a parent. what does op have to do, take the door off? leave him.
WTF... as a woman I have to say Jake's snide comment about OP's "Man eyes" joke being "only funny to a woman's brain" is not worse than the original "are you looking with you man eyes" comment. She may have meant a joke but it was insulting him for being a man. It's just as insulting as she found his comment... which is why he said it, to make a point of her sexist comment. I have to agree with Jake, OP was making a hostile workplace
People seem to forget that women can be sexist too. You can’t make a sexist remark then get upset when someone throws the same energy right back at you.
I'm an HR guy, and the story about the manager making a "man eyes" joke, and not being able to be on the receiving end is exactly why men feel the need to protect themselves in the workplace and stay amongst themselves. Seems to most men that nowadays, men can be subject to their careers being ruined because of managers like OP. Smh. This is why division in the workplace is becoming more prevalent, and the people that wanted it this way are complaining because they feel like they don't have access to male mentorship...well stories like this explains why it isn't happening.
As soon as OP recognized that HE didn't think it was funny, she should have apologized. Just that simple. And her boyfriend is right about joking with subordinates.
How does woman and man walking a bride down the aisle less female subordinated then if just a man walks her down the aisle? That comment seems very odd.
@Gi Gi that is an argument why that comment doesn’t make sense 😂 Your right that it would make more sense for both parents to be less selling off the bride more family support but that’s exactly why that comment in the video confuses me because they were arguing the opposite.
Story 1: Throw the divorce papers in his lap and tell him there's the way he can have his video games and his sleep is all I can say about it. Depending on how much of a scumbag he is, he'll either embrace it or regret it later anyway. Either way OP has no obligation to him anymore.
I'm a father with kids, and have always loved playing them. I used to play with my kids when they were still young and not nearly as good(They all kick my ass now, including my daughter). If there was an emergency I'd drop the game even if I was in a tourney. Hands down.
I would say the first problem is he stays up at night playing games instead of sleeping. If he slept at night like most people, and played games during the day, he wouldn't have to worry so much about being woken up, since everyone else would be asleep with him.
GPS story: honestly... sht like this is why I'm splitting with my long term partner. His boundaries with his family don't align with mine and it regularly is at my expense. Husband may be fine with his sister knowing his location but OP doesn't and that's VALID. Husband also sounds like a megadouche because anyone who disagrees with him is "panicking". Setting a boundary isn't "panicking".
I don't get the location-sharing app at all. I really don't feel a need to look up where someone is at a given moment. That's your own business, I don't really care. I suppose if I had a spouse or kids, it could be handy to look up if I was worried and couldn't find them or something, but I can't see actively tracking them just because.
Imagine being so selfish that you want to keep one of only two opportunities you have as a father at your daughter's wedding meanwhile the mother is involved in every aspect of it.
How is the mother involved? Traditionally the mother of the bride plays no role in the ceremony. The father gives her away. The father has the father-daughter dance. The father walks her down the isle. He’s still doing all these things. Nothing is being taken from him. He simply has to share. Like an adult
Last story: ESH How about they ask the kids what they want? Mom says it'd be easier for the kids, but OP didn't mention the kids complaining. They also stop to see him ON THEIR OWN on the days that they aren't there. That means they like OP. Mom can say it's "for the kids" but until Op hears that from the kids, they shouldn't change anything. Maybe mom is trying to do a change behind the kids back or maybe not. Either way, they should be consulted. They are 16+. They're both almost adults and should have a massive role in deciding how their lives go.
@@carolroberts4614 I have possession is not actually a weird way to put it it is a technical legal way of putting it. Because parents do have possession of there children legally. And that's a good thing because the other 2 options are children being possessed by the state or being in possession of themselves.
I don't care about it being a legal term! We hear many of these type of stories, and not once have I heard anyone use 'possession ' for their custody time! It doesn't sit right to me.
So, OP, you making sexist jokes is perfectly fine, but if a male employee dares to do the same, OMIGOD, patriarchy, my fee-fees are so hurt! Bullshit. Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
Hi. I’ve said previously that I love your channels and your voice ( but I do have some hearing issues) and I’m so happy you put the text back. But…would you please put the darker background behind the texts back? Your background scenery is beautiful, but the white text color very often gets lost in the scenery and I can’t see it, and sometimes can’t hear you. Please consider it. Thanks.
Oh is daddy hurt? He can’t walk his daughter down the aisle, your wife, her mother did as much to raise and love her as you did. I would dump daddy and ask mother to do it alone.
It's much easier to demand the walk down the isle as a father-daughter moment than to offer to help with the rest of the planning. I doubt he ever offered to join them in planning because that's just women's job.
The man eyes joke is funny- between me and my wife. Definitely not appropriate to a subordinate at work. And then to escalate to a write up because he turned the joke around on her. THIS is what is wrong with Corporations- managers (supervisors) who do NOT have the mentality to be in charge of people.
Imagine if OP got into a car accident and Jake said, "Were you driving with your woman eyes?". lol She'd absolutely lose it. EDIT: Omg I paused to write this and just now heard his response about her "woman brain". Amazing. Jake deserves a raise. EDIT 2: She wrote him up!? What a see you next.... EDIT 3: Holy sh*t. She actually tried to claim his was more discriminatory!? lmfao
2nd Story: YTA. Op's wife is really going to let him have it if he asks her to step down. Raising the children was, as we can assume, a joint effort between BOTH parents, not just one. The bride sees that both deserve to walk her down the aisle. I actually want to do this too in the future when I get married. 3rd Story: YTA. It's nice to see that the best way to shut down an idiot making inappropriate remarks is to simply say you don't get it and ask them to explain why it's so funny.
Yeah, I always thought walking your child down the aisle was sweet. I never thought of it as some sexist patriarchal thing. The dad seems super petty to not want to walk with his wife. I think that sounds like a lovely thing to do.
I disagree in a wedding the fathers usually don’t have a real say. They usually just pay and let the women involved ( mother, bride and mother of groom) make all the decisions. The only real involvement they get is walking down the aisle and the father daughter dance. It hurts when someone you love doesn’t feel the same way as you in a once in a lifetime moment. Especially when you have only one chance to feel that moment. With that being said I feel it’s NSH since it’s her choice but he has the right to his feelings
GPS story: OPs husband is a massive jerk. First he adds people without talking to OP. Then when OP talks to her husband, he tells the other people in a way that males OP look bad...and this is common. Sounds like hubs likes things his way and will make problems if he doesn't get it.
@@Mewse1203 but isn’t that pretty much what OP. She didn’t really have a reason for not wanting sister in law on the app besides she didn’t want her knowing where she was. I would’ve described that the way I just said it or just paranoid
@@rum1105 how can you say "she didn't have a reason" and the very next sentence say exactly what her reason was? A)That is a valid reason. Many people wouldn't be OK with their HUSBAND tracking them likebthat, let alone family members across the country. That us a huge invasion of privacy.. but she's fine with her husband knowing where she is at all times. Not everyone would be and that's is OK. B) even if OP was fine with the sister knowing, he didn't ASK. He just added people without talking to his wife, someone who would be affected by that addition C)he then paints her as overreacting when she wasn't at all. we see stories very similar to this all the time. Someone has a reasonable request, and their partner paints them as unreasonable for wanting it. And OP says this happens any time she disagrees. That's not a healthy mechanism for a marriage at all.
I wear high quality earplugs that block out almost all noise. But I would NEVER lock myself away from my husband and animals. If he or our animals need me, they can get to me no matter what, even though that means my senior dog will wake me up every single night at 2:30am to go outside. I couldn't do it any other way...
Back in 70-71 I worked at a small production lab. The atmosphere was sexist, "old boys club" kind of stuff, with the kind of behavior that would produce court cases today. I was a hippie, and partly didn't fit in, but I was also 21, and not 100% what I should have been. (nor am i now) Anyway, there was a manager in another department who liked to joke around, teased/borderline harassed female workers, and had a smart mouth. One day, he was being "funny" and I made a few comments which irritated him. He then cornered me in another part of the building to tear me a new one. When he came at me, I forcefully told him that he couldn't have it both ways. He couldn't be allowed to make any comment he wanted, yet police others and chew them out for responding in kind. I said, if that's how you want to play, then never speak to me again. Now, I was 6'3, 180 lbs, and not easily intimidated, but he backed down, and I never had any problems after that, but it stuck with me. If you have power over others, and abuse it to allow you to insult them, but go crazy if they respond, you don't deserve the authority. I left that job, and recently found out it had been declared a "Super-site" for clean-up of the pollution they caused, and I wonder if my present cancer might have been started with the toxic crap we worked with. All in all, not the best job I ever had. Which is a long way of saying, that woman manager is an idiot, and needs some training immediately. She got rid of a good, smart, quality employee by her actions, and she plays the victim. Dumbass.
Incidentally, this comment was flagged as potentially against youtube guidelines, and I can't figure out why. I reviewed the policies, and see nothing here that is offensive, but if I'm wrong, I'll gladly delete.
I stay up late to play videogames, get up to work mid-morning and then nap-just like the husband’ I love gaming and doing whatever I want, whenever I want. Why? I don’t have kids! When are people going to stop giving in to their spouses pushing for kids and spreading the “life script” that you have to get married and have kids. You don’t have to have kids to be the happiest and most fulfilled person you can be.
Good God in Heaven above. My dad has sleep apnea that wasn't diagnosed for *decades,* so even getting to bed at a reasonable time makes him hard to wake up in the morning and crabby when you wake him up earlier. That said, when Mom kicked him in the leg and yelled "BAT," he sprang out of bed and grabbed a broom to try to herd the animal out the window. Likely was running on autopilot more than anything, but that was *still* his immediate response. He sometimes fell asleep during the day, but most of the time it was a chance for Mom to take a picture of how cute he and whichever of us kids had curled up with him were. Not that he's perfect. One time when Mom went into labor in the middle of the night, Dad had a particularly hard time waking up. As Dad took his groggy time getting dressed, Mom kept insisting that he hurry. So he dropped his pants and said, "Don't rush me." They joke about it now, saying that the only reason he survived is because Mom needed him to drive her to the hospital.
NTA OP Put lock back on the door then wait until he goes to work then change all house locks put the DIVORCE papers on the front door. Tell him this is so he wont be disturbed anymore you are already a single parent so all you will be missing is that jerk .
I feel for the dad in the 2nd story. Everyone is so quick to shit on a man’s feelings, but god forbid a man who has only one daughter wanting to fill in the traditional role of walking her down the aisle while paying for a 3rd of the wedding. It’s not like he insists on making decisions for the wedding. It’s something I feel the vast majority of fathers get to look forward to. My vote is NSH the daughter is entitled to what she wants but the father is also entitled to feel slighted.
As a male nurse I’ve heard the “man eyes” jokes and other gender based comments thrown about. There is literally nothing I can do or say on the subject. I know for sure if I was make gender based comments in return I’d Be dragged over the coals.
If your in the US or Europe you should document, go to HR, document the HR visit and the results, if things don't improve or get worse, sue them, plenty of lawyers and even entire firms that would take this kind of case on condition, hell some will do it probono.
At Jewish weddings, both parents walk both partners down the aisle and stand up with them during the ceremony. We're joining families. That dad who doesn't want his wife with him is ridiculous. It's not up to him. It's not about him. He's going to ruin this for his daughter. Sigh.
Adopted Daughter Wedding Story: The wife is already bonding thru most of wedding planning like dress buying and such so OP wants that bonding by giving her away. So he is NTA
If I were first OP, I would kick him out and lawyer up at this point. What would stop me? Being a single mom? She already IS a single mom! Don't get married and have kids if you want to live like a teenager.
Story one: OP is not depriving her selfish husband of anything. If he's sleep deprived, it's because he'd rather play computer games than meet his familial responsibility. This is marriage counseling material -- and possibly cause for divorce.
Hell yeah!!! I'm proud of that boy who called out the female boss and her hypocrisy, feminism, toxic behavior. I love that kid. I'm also glad he had the brains to go to HR first. That kid is going places while the female boss is going unemployed. Hell yeah!!!! 🇺🇲
1) The daughter asked for you both, and to be reasonable OP should let her have what she wants, it really does take nothing away from you. 2) "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." You insulted him based on gender and brought in something personal. That is not professional and not ok, and then to make matters worse you refuse to acknowledge your mistake and criticize him for responding in kind. YTA. He clearly saw you for what you are and made the correct decision to get away from an unprofessional, biased, unreasonable, and vindictive supervisor. 3) It seems to me this is something that needs to be respected and husband's attitude and response is awful, he should have discussed before adding others without your input. NTA. 4) YTA for not being reasonable with custody. Discuss this, and also speak with the kids about what they want.
Funny thing is men's & women's eyes do work a bit differently. Men's vision is better at tracking movement, better night vision and has less motion blur while moving. Women's vision has a much higher sensitivity to color and can actually see colors men cannot.
@@nicholashodges201 Which is why they should shop for paint by themselves, most of us literally can't tell the difference between certain shades of color like you can.
Well I tell you I wouldn’t lock the door I would put the wife in charge of keeping the kids away from the door because things happen sometimes emergencies emergency and he’s not gonna die from this all sleep I’m sure he would like to have you for your body to but I think I want the door to stay unlocked it off unless you’re doing something fun in Arabic not every day because my wife might need you think happened emergencies happen while she had a stroke or something you know so anyway I think she had a right to remove the lock but she got to go to the door now or he’s gonna be really cranky if the kids are metal winning by three points off that’s what I would do that if you did the right thing I think he’s a little bit overbearing on on that and I think I don’t know how much he needs to sleep you take care
I love to play video games, after the kids are in bed and the chores are done I get to play for 30 minutes or an hour each day. When the kids are up I play video games with them. I couldn't imagine putting any game ahead of my kids
Not sure if anyone else made this comment, maybe I see things offside. Locking his room does not mean he doesn’t want to be disturbed ( that was already in place) it means he has something to hide . Gambling/ pornography/ chat rooms whatever,@ Art from HMO’s I haven’t seen locks on bedroom doors so was immediately wondering why.
My husband wakes up first every time the kids are sick even though I’m a nurse, especially when I find it hard to open my eyes after a long 12 hour shift.
So many stories are about gaming. Selfish people who value their games over people. When you get married people, make a hard rule there will be no game consoles in the house. Computer games included.
First story: How old is this guy?!?!?! He is a PARENT. If he wants to behave like a spoiled teenager, he shouldn't have gotten married and had kids. Parenting is a full-time, 24/7 job. Maybe it's time he gets fired. Second story: Dude needs to grow up. It's an honor to be asked, and his daughter wants BOTH of them. I hope he stays quiet & puts on a big smile on the wedding day. The mother isn't "barging in", she's been invited. And just because that commenter's mother had a day in their wedding doesn't mean that's the case here.
Story 1: Lady, what exactly do you see in this man? I can undestand wanting to have a nap after work because you are exausted, but this is straight up neglecting your family because you want to play videogames at night.
People have this notion of looking down on single parents. That a broken happy family is worse than a complete sad one.
@@f687sNFM Right? People stay together for the sake of the children?? No just no if u think your kids don't see or pick up on the tension and arguing you're sadly mistaken, I think that's worse than them going through their parent's divorce, not saying that's easy either but better in the long run.
I wonder how the next generation will be absolutely game phobic for all the neglect that their gamer parents bestowed upon them?
@@arleneclark6369 it actually is proven (as much as something like that can be proven) that generally, children are better off in a complete family with a low conflict level than a happier “broken” one, because they can’t understand the reasoning behind the separation and often blame themselves or one parent more than the other. It’s only beneficial if the conflict inside the family is more severe than it would be if they were divorced.
I’m not a fan of that conclusion, but it’s fresh on my mind from yesterday’s sociology class. In this case I think it would be better to divorce though
(Don’t stay together with a person you don’t love, I am just still reeling from the required reading and need someone to suffer with me)
Right? My husband has a demanding hobby (botany) that closely relates to his job and has been essential to his success. It requires time and effort to find and document specimens (e.g. some species have very narrow bloom and fruiting windows or are only found accidentally while exploring in hard to reach areas). So this hobby takes work, and is very rewarding. But the second our son needs something, or that I am sick, he drops everything to be there and supportive. He is a father and husband before anything else, and I cannot imagine him just ignoring even a minor problem at home just to botanize.
First Story: She’s basically a single mother at this point, and she’s “just as bad cuz she left him unsupervised”? Do you expect her to do all the housework WHILE watching her children’s every damn move?!
Women just can't win in these situations and they're always blamed for the MEN'S lack of care and shortcomings.
She's worse then a single parent. Her kid is burning and she's wasting important time trying to get her husband to answer over just getting her son to hospital. She needs to realise being in THIS relationship is harming her own children in so many ways.
@@jamiesheerdon1321 I think it was because they only have one car. OP says the neighbor ended up taking them to the hospital, implying that the husband had the keys to the family car. It seems like OPs husband came home and took a nap but forgot to leave car keys out of the locked room
Well if he won't pay attention to the door, then she has nothing to worry about when she leaves with her family.
@@day_dreamer9316 I agree with you somewhat but she has to realise by now he is a deadbeat that leaves her dealing with everything on her own and it's harming her kids even before this incident. She should never have bothered knocking on his door knowing he is a selfish and cares only for himself. 🙄 She is doing way more harm to her kids with him in the house then she ever could alone.
He stays up late to play videos which is why he sleep in such a weird manner. In other words, he prioritizes video games over his family
Another gamer schmuck. Your kid has hot oil burns, Capt. Happy. Can we pry your hands off your joystick long enough for you to drive him to the hospital?
Every time I talk to a gamer person that is so perplexed why they can't find love, I direct them to videos like this.
I'd shove those games where the sun doesn't shine.
@@ninamccampbell1437 even better, take them with you when you leave LOL
@@sarahmesser6056 Not all individuals who enjoy video games are this inconsiderate or irresponsible. I'm an active gamer and have a full time job and a healthy happy long term relationship. Gaming is just like any other hobby... However when your priorities get screwed up like this guy, is when shit hits the fan and it's not just a hobby, but an addiction.
Story one: I'm so sorry OP had kids with a manchild. Document all of this lack of help with kids, divorce him, and fight tooth and nail for sole custody and the max child support you can get
First story with the gamer husband that locks himself in the room to nap....what if there was a fire? Good for OP for removing the lock. Parents are parents 24/7/365.
That was my first thought. What a man child!
Well, it'd solve one of her problems.
After that BS, I might have seen if he would respond to a fire at his door.
Addicted gamers are addicts, plain and simple. I had a friend who had a toddler daughter (she did not live with him full time) and would blow off visitation to game, would play literally for 24 hours straight (and I'm not exaggerating) and then go to work on less than 2 hrs of sleep. The game would log who had been on for how long, and he would average 18 hrs CONSECUTIVE without logging off on a daily basis. He'd have a few moments where he realized he was a terrible parent, would give up games cold turkey.... and then come slinking back for more addictive gaming for a month or so later.
The good news is, I haven't seen him doing that for a while, maybe he's finally kicked his addiction.
@@Gregarious3 I’m almost thinking to get something to smolder and waft it under the door to see how much time before he realizes there might be a fire.
Manager makes sexist joke, shes fine.
subordinate makes sexist joke back, straight to hr and a write up. OP and her double standards smh
Yeah as soon as the OP said "if he was looking with his man eyes" I was like WOW that's a sexist comment right there.
As a woman I was appalled at what she said.
While I might have been thinking that geez he looks for things like my hubby I would never have said it to a subordinate.
Now if we were close friends and joked often about stuff maybe but she was out of line and he returned fire.
My hubbys and my inside joke is he cantvsee anything below his knees and I can't see anything above his chin lol but I'm 5'5" and he's 6'3" our son is 6'7".
But geez I'd never include someone i work with in the joke.
@@Emeraldwitch30 Agreed, inside context is everything. She basically made her personal life turn to her work life, expecting her coworkers to go “oh haha youre a riot”, but in reality the guy who doesnt know her much likely(and rightfully,) took it as an attack.
@@Emeraldwitch30 Yeah. Once, I took hours looking all over town for a specific brand of tomato juice, sending my parents into a tizzy because I shouldn't have been gone that long and they had no idea where I was (pre-cellphone times). I was in my early teens at the time and, while usually responsible, still have a tendency to wander off in a daze. When I met Mom on my way home as she was searching for me, I explained what happened and she nearly collapsed saying I pulled a "dad" and that only men are supposed to be this particular. She then told me a story about a man whose wife sent him out to buy paint. Hours later, he calls from several cities over asking if he got the right sort.
Difference is, I'm her *daughter* and she was worried sick about me. Also, Dad agreed that this is something men often do.
@@brigidtheirish my hubbybwent for whipped cream once and was gone an hour. He was worried cuz he knew I liked the spray can and the local store was out he ran to the next town over. I would have been fine without.
But I know he told his buddies nothing strikes fear into him harder than when I tell him where something is and he says no he can't find it and I say. Do I need to show you? Cuz he knows its probably right where I told him it was lol.
Thing is I rarely get mad about it but I don't let him forget it lol
Its usually right on the shelf where its supposed to be.
But I have tons of issues too so I try not to give him too much shit like that lol.
They get even. They put all my stuff on high shelves and hide my footstool lol
Pro tip: any joke you share with your significant other is a joke that probably shouldn't be shared with the people with whom you work. That's wildly inappropriate no matter the subject.
What in the flying hell are you talking about? Any joke I tell my husband I shouldn’t tell at work? Any sex joke or dirty joke shouldn’t be repeated in the workplace to anyone you are not closed to or anyone you respond to…
@@bigrivtodagled8210 🤣
The sister watching every move they make 800 miles away through GPS is a creep and perfectly explains why OP is right to feel uncomfortable.
I'd call the sister at random times "I see that you are in that coffee shop, I have google maps looking at it right now, you aren't eating any donuts that aren't on your diet are you?" or "I see you are at a doctor's office... Are you pregnant? Is there a disease that that you are hiding?" Heck, call her mother to see about her disease. >:)
She wants to be creepy? I can be creepy.
What concerns me a bit more is that the husband's go-to response to someone disagreeing with him is to call the other person sensitive and paranoid. That's a hallmark of gaslighting behavior.
If the sister isn’t a stalker, the husband notified his sister about it to cause drama
Was I the only one screaming run Forrest run at this comment?
@@brigidtheirish and definitely the Hallmark of allowing his sister to stalk his SO.
What if that spilled oil had caused a fire? The whole family would have been ashes before he woke up.
*If* he woke up.
He would have died in that fire
Nah, he would be ashes cus he would ignore the fire and get himself killed, he's that kind of idiot.
She would have had to watch him burn to death 😖
You mean HE would've been ashes.
Story 1: wait, why did the neighbor have to drive you to the ER? Was he asleep with the car keys in the bedroom too or do you just not drive? Because if he's the only driver in the household, cutting off contact for hours is even more egregious. Send him and his console packing back to his mommy, she didn't finish raising him.
The post says she can't drive due to medical condition. Which kinda sheds some light why she's still with him.
Let's just keep sexist jokes out of the workplace, aimed at men or women.
Story 1 OP why are you still with this man? Im shocked that you dont see it but please just kick him out already. He puts his naps and games ahead of his own kids and gets mad when the locks are gone
At this point, she probably does see it but it can be difficult for the stay-at-home parent with multiple kids to leave if they don't have an income and are financially reliant on the other partner. I hope she figures a way out because that man is not worth keeping
Man eyes story: Wow..the hypocrisy of OP is ridiculous. She literally made a sexist joke and got offended when he did the same thing. This is a huge double standard.
And not even *slightly* surprising considering double standards that favor women over men have become more and more socially acceptable.
@@brigidtheirish Agreed....Even better when you get weird looks because you don't support that crap....
@@drizztdourden8111 Yeah. Dad was the sole male employee for a long time at the job he had from when I was three on into my twenties. (I think there was also a boy in the mailroom, but he was a temp and didn't interact with anyone.) He often came home grumbling because of something his female coworkers did, mostly the hens in editing. A lot of his coworkers were quite nice and I was even allowed to hang out with Dad whenever I had a bad day or just felt like helping out, but the editing department gave Dad a *lot* of trouble and he had to just put up with it.
I agree that she was being a bit hypocritical and she shouldn’t have written him up, but I feel like the reason why she was upset was Bc she made a joke that she felt was lighthearted(even though it was sexist and a bit rude since op and the Guy weren’t friends or anything) and he responded with a joke that was directed to be rude and snarky Bc he was offended. I get it, but if genders were reversed ppl would be way more pissed at op,
@@iangoldfish4829 That's kind of the problem, though. The hypocrisy goes deeper than just OP. It's in the culture.
I would have taken the door off of the hinges after being locked out of my own bedroom. (I've done it before, when my second ex-husband pulled that on me.) Throw the whole man away, seriously.
You forgot to add 'from an extremely great height' :)
And make sure he bounces twice!
It can be difficult though for the stay at home parent with multiple kids to leave if they don't have an income and are financially reliant on the other partner. I hope she figures a way out because that man is not worth keeping
I think the bride should be able to pick whoever she wants to walk her down the isle. My granpa already passed so my mom walked herself down. My friend is having just her mom walk her down for the same reason, while another had her uncle.
My dad passed when I was 15, so I had my grandpa walk me down the aisle. If he couldn't do it, I would have asked my uncle.
Yeah and what was with the last comment 🙄 it not like the mom force her way in and It sweet no more sexist like wtf ? Both of them support her, they both deserve the to walk here down tbh
I can see where he's coming from though. His wife is heavily involved in every step of the planning--dress, food, venue, etc. He has two things--the walk down the aisle and a daddy daughter dance. That's really it. Those are his only two active parts in the whole thing, those two moments before she's off and on to something else. It can be hard to be asked to lose that, to share that with someone who already had has a huge roll to play in the celebration.
I agree the bride chooses, my wife had her both her parents walk her down.
Also, I'm SICK of hearing people say it has to do with "OwNeRsHiP". It's a symbolic tradition that has to do with loving your child enough that you want them to be happy. They're no longer a child and it's time to let them go. One of the hardest moments in a many parents lives.
@@matthewhanf3033 the last comments was soooo weird lol
The manager story is a perfect example of double standards
I actually couldn't remember the antithesis of misogynist. Being either makes for a shit person.
Sleeping gamer: husband is TA. He needs to go if he wants to behave like a teenager.
The manager story, If only animes could learn the true double standards. Instead of being too freaking one-sided. How is it fair that Op’s joke is considered harmless, but when the joke is shot back at her it’s considered offensive. Either way bottom line never make sexist jokes, especially in the workplace.
She's lucky he did not go to EEOC over this.
I get the joke it not funny but I got it. It like the mom can find any meme which is actually funny lol
Story 1 I think the only reason the husband realised OP and the kids were gone was because he was hungry and when he came he didn’t see dinner on the table and angry about that
I really like the comment from the parent that said all 4 parents walked the bride and groom and the officiant asked who walked these two through life and prepared them for life together. That's a beautiful way to do that and it gets rid of the misogynistic "who gives this woman" thing.
I too thought that was fantastic and have it stashed in my advice files to hand out as a suggestion if a couple’s unsure how to handle it. 😁
Gotta love how OP calls a subordinate less competent because he’s a man, then when he replies that they must find different things funny because she’s a woman she gets offended and claims he’s being sexist.
Yes OP YTA, imo he did nothing wrong, he asked you to explain how the joke was funny and then instead of making a scene, he spoke with HR and requested a transfer. I really hope this is a troll post because it baffles me that anyone can be this dense.
You know, in the second story, the father is missing one very important fact…his daughter requested that they both walk her down the aisle, so OP needs to put HIS desires on the back burner and do it the way his daughter wants.
There is always the father-daughter dance right? maybe she wants to keep that for him
fathers dont get many special moments with their daughters, so i totally understand him
but its her day, her rules kinda thing
Did anyone notice that he said "my wife and I adopted "my" daughter" and not 'our' daughter? Perhaps he thinks it's his 'right' because his wife apparently isn't her parent also. And it's not totally unheard of for both parents to escort the bride as it's Jewish custom and maybe other religions also.
@@helenaw9533
That's true, I'm Jewish and both sets of parents walked each of us to the Huppah, only incase one or more of the parents dies or the couple requests otherwise (which isn't common) than the arrangement is different.
@@headbangben1 she was adopted. I think in her unique circumstances she wanted to honor them both.
Story 1: NTA, my partner works 12-13 hour shifts 3-6 days a week starting at 4:30am and finishing at 4:30-5:30pm, and everyday he rushes home to spend as much time with our toddler as he can before our son goes to sleep. Only after he's asleep do WE play video games, and on his days off he might take a few hours to play during the day but our son always comes first and if he goes and wants attention, to go on a walk, to play, etc my partner will get up and go do whatever it is that our son wants. And this is from a man who never wanted to be a parent before we got pregnant.
OP needs to get rid of the useless sack because it sounds like she'd be better off without him, she'd be able to go in and out of her own damn room and she wouldn't have to cook for him or clean up after this man baby who won't even get up from his precious nap to help tend to his son that was just burned by hot oil.
My father walked me down the aisle and when asked who gave the bride away he answered “Her mother and I do”. My father-in-law loved it so much, he did it at my sister-in-law’s wedding.
It's not because wife is paranoid, it's that there is no practical purpose to someone across the country being in the location group
7:50 - OP is TA for making a sexist remark. I am a Feminist and I want EQUALITY in the workplace. This means we women are treated with respect as well as us treating the men with respect. All peeps are treated with respect and consideration no matter their age, sex, orientation, race, etc... To be sure, some people don't really care to really look for things. They'll take a quick glance and not try to take extra effort to pull things aside to see if what they are looking for is just behind something else. I find this to be a lazy attitude, not a gender one. If someone truly CARES and wants to put effort in their work, they will do what they can to try and fulfill their required tasks. OP could have reprimanded the new hire by simply showing them that the items were available but it appears the new hire doesn't think outside the box. No need to make gender stereotypical comments. OP should get in trouble with HR for this gaff.
I’m with you. If you truly wish for genuine equality in the workplace then you will expect EQUAL treatment for everyone regardless of gender unless there is a specific reason.
OP even says that the items were NOT where she told him they were, and were hidden behind a few other things. Also, when you are new at a job, sometimes it takes a while to find stuff that old hands can easily put their hands on, especially when, as noted, they aren't where you were told.
@@tgbedini Which means OP should get a mirror and take a good hard look at herself. If she can't give good instructions, maybe she shouldn't be a supervisor.
Sounds like Jake is also a feminist:
1) Ask what's funny
2) Make an equal sexist joke with the genders reversed
3) Report to HR
@@Aderla22 He could very well be a Feminist because he tried to show OP that she was being very hypocritical in her sexism.
That "man eyes" joke was stupid. Its not uncommon to spend a lot of time searching for something only to realize it was right there in front of you.
I had had times where I have found something in the same place that I had passed over three times. That's why I am a little ocd about 'everything in its place.
My ex had a slightly different problem. If he went looking for something in the kitchen cupboard and had to move something to find it "it wasn't there" Front of the shelf paralysis, they call it
Story 1 : Why is she even entertaining the tantrums of a Man Child? Either counseling for a change in Him, or just divorce because it won't be getting any better.
I feel we're getting this story because she thinks the oil burn can come back on her.
That manager story is so hypocritical! If you can't take the heat, don't throw the match.
The guy at 6:20 has their head on backwards!
A father GIVING AWAY his property, sorry his daughter, is EXPLICITLY treating a woman as property.
The father is transfering his ownership over his daughter to her husband (the new owner).
Yes, it's disgusting BS. Just because it's tradition does not mean that it's a good tradition!
1st story. AND YOU CALLED THIS A MARRIAGE? What is he to you,? A sperm donor? Divorce him and find someone who cares.
"Man eyes" story was hilarious. The joke was total shit. She insulted him with a sexist joke. He quipped back with a sexist joke. He 100% intentionally threw her bullshit back at her and then correctly guessed she would try to nail him for it. Im so proud of him for reading the room and going to HR first. Too funny!
Father giving his daughter away is patriarchal, but the good kind. He is giving his daughter to a man who will care for her. It's a loving act to the daughter to know that he approves of the man, but also to his son in law. People who are saying it's bad clearly don't have a loving father.
Or they hate/have no respect for men, most likely viewing them as wallets.
work story this is wat I always point out equality goes both ways. Not one way. She said something sexist n he reply with something sexist. But only she can be offended.
1st story - OP's husband is a complete twonk.A complete irresponsible twonk,.,
For the manager that thinks her "sexist joke" is ok but the guy's "sexist joke" was write up worthy, I hope reddit did its thing and comments tore her to shreds
No more gaming, hubby. You’re a parent now. Time to start making those sacrifices that come with having children.
Last story: The kids are old enough to drive, so they're old enough to decide where they want to live. The first reaction should have been to ask the kids if the arrangement really impacts their social and after school life and if switching to a week by week schedule would be preferable to them.
That last commenter sounded desperate to make this guy out to be a deadbeat neglecting his kids.
First story. Op…he had his ear buds in but his phone off…so how does he know to wake up in exactly couple hours…
Maybe he had his phone turned down because there’s certain people that get on, on certain websites…
As someone that works nights, it usually takes a hour for me to wind down, so this makes no sense to me. Also a gamer. And I’ve got kids.
He’s probably doing something naughty….
Either way, that isn’t father material!
Happy Easter to anyone that celebrates it!
or, even simpler, he just wakes up when he wakes up. The to hell with everyone attitude seems to support that possibility.
Walking down the aisle story: I got married back in October and had both my parents walk me down the aisle. I wanted both of them there as they both raised me and are equally important to me. OP needs to respect his daughter’s wishes. It’s her day!
you do realize that the only participation dad gets is the walk? that's it. everything else is about mommy and bride. the wedding is NOT the bride's day. Period. Weddings are not about the people getting married...they are about announcing to the world that YOU are off the market. But I don't expect a person who uses harley quinn as a screen name to rational.
@@nco_gets_it what about the father-daughter dance?
@@sk8ergrrl1 oh wow two things meant for the father while the mother is involved the entire time from the very beginning all the way through to the end... Yeah that seems fair
In many cultures BOTH parents escort their daughter down the aisle...
Last story: Whenever a man uses the term ‘she went ballistic’. He is trying to make the woman in question look like a crazy, hysterical woman. Because you see man being angry is valid, but a woman being angry is wrong!
Having the family all tracking each other sounds toxic and unhealthy. Shot a text, talk to each other, don’t just watch each other on an app.
My family uses one I’m the child in this honestly I like it my dad did this cute thing when my sister gets off work and she rides her motorcycle he would open the garage for her when she got close. Although my family is pretty chill about things so it’s more for safety than stalking.
@@MTGirlthegamer you realize the exact some thing could happen just by text messages right? Your sister can text on my way and your dad could open the door. Tracking each other is lazy and unhealthy. Talk to each other about your plans don’t just stock each other.
@@tracim3080 I mean everyone knows eachothers schedules (well at least me and my sisters they are retired) we don’t really stock there’s a different from being oh let me see how far out they are so I can can have dinner hot and ready and I must check where they are at at all time it’s really all about boundaries and it’s not really safe to leave your garage door open when the time home varies a lot at midnight. I think it really does come down to how well family respects boundaries it works well for my family but might not for others.
In the man-eyes story, she's lucky he clapped back. There's a very real possibility that had he taken his complaint to HR straight away instead of returning the insult, she would have been fired. OP is the type of person who thinks sexism is only wrong if it's from a man.
I am so sick of hearing parents who put video games over their children grow up it's a dumb game and a waste of time be a parent. what does op have to do, take the door off? leave him.
"Who escorted these young people through life so they could be bought together is beautiful"
Story 3 made me cringe and I couldn’t t help but facepalm. OP’s lack of self-awareness is *astounding.*
Wow, what a hypocrite.
WTF... as a woman I have to say Jake's snide comment about OP's "Man eyes" joke being "only funny to a woman's brain" is not worse than the original "are you looking with you man eyes" comment. She may have meant a joke but it was insulting him for being a man. It's just as insulting as she found his comment... which is why he said it, to make a point of her sexist comment.
I have to agree with Jake, OP was making a hostile workplace
As a matter of fact I see there a huge difference. She meant it to be a joke (which admittedly failed), he meant it to be an offence.
People seem to forget that women can be sexist too. You can’t make a sexist remark then get upset when someone throws the same energy right back at you.
And the OP used the 'write-up' to punish Jake for standing up for himself!
I'm an HR guy, and the story about the manager making a "man eyes" joke, and not being able to be on the receiving end is exactly why men feel the need to protect themselves in the workplace and stay amongst themselves. Seems to most men that nowadays, men can be subject to their careers being ruined because of managers like OP. Smh. This is why division in the workplace is becoming more prevalent, and the people that wanted it this way are complaining because they feel like they don't have access to male mentorship...well stories like this explains why it isn't happening.
That’s not even a joke
@@Symphonia30 I don't disagree. She was projecting how she feels about men in general.
No, Jake is not wrong. There is no comparison between the 2 " jokes". "Joke is joke, but all joke eh no joke"
As soon as OP recognized that HE didn't think it was funny, she should have apologized. Just that simple. And her boyfriend is right about joking with subordinates.
How does woman and man walking a bride down the aisle less female subordinated then if just a man walks her down the aisle? That comment seems very odd.
@Gi Gi that is an argument why that comment doesn’t make sense 😂
Your right that it would make more sense for both parents to be less selling off the bride more family support but that’s exactly why that comment in the video confuses me because they were arguing the opposite.
OP#3 YTA. Rude, rude, rude. You are a manager who made an assumption about a subordinates performance based on their gender. NOPE!
Story 1:
Throw the divorce papers in his lap and tell him there's the way he can have his video games and his sleep is all I can say about it. Depending on how much of a scumbag he is, he'll either embrace it or regret it later anyway. Either way OP has no obligation to him anymore.
I'm a father with kids, and have always loved playing them. I used to play with my kids when they were still young and not nearly as good(They all kick my ass now, including my daughter). If there was an emergency I'd drop the game even if I was in a tourney. Hands down.
I would say the first problem is he stays up at night playing games instead of sleeping. If he slept at night like most people, and played games during the day, he wouldn't have to worry so much about being woken up, since everyone else would be asleep with him.
GPS story: honestly... sht like this is why I'm splitting with my long term partner. His boundaries with his family don't align with mine and it regularly is at my expense. Husband may be fine with his sister knowing his location but OP doesn't and that's VALID.
Husband also sounds like a megadouche because anyone who disagrees with him is "panicking". Setting a boundary isn't "panicking".
if I was OP i would have just uninstalled the app on my cellphone and left it at that
I don't get the location-sharing app at all. I really don't feel a need to look up where someone is at a given moment. That's your own business, I don't really care. I suppose if I had a spouse or kids, it could be handy to look up if I was worried and couldn't find them or something, but I can't see actively tracking them just because.
I wonder if the husband suspected op to be cheating and was asking his sister to watch her for weird locations
@@velvety2006 Hadn't thought of that, but you could be right. That actually would make sense.
Imagine being so selfish that you want to keep one of only two opportunities you have as a father at your daughter's wedding meanwhile the mother is involved in every aspect of it.
How is the mother involved? Traditionally the mother of the bride plays no role in the ceremony. The father gives her away. The father has the father-daughter dance. The father walks her down the isle. He’s still doing all these things. Nothing is being taken from him. He simply has to share. Like an adult
@@emilybarclay8831 depends on the "traditions" in question. Additionally, people can modify the ceremony to their preferences- it's their wedding.
Last story: ESH How about they ask the kids what they want? Mom says it'd be easier for the kids, but OP didn't mention the kids complaining. They also stop to see him ON THEIR OWN on the days that they aren't there. That means they like OP. Mom can say it's "for the kids" but until Op hears that from the kids, they shouldn't change anything. Maybe mom is trying to do a change behind the kids back or maybe not. Either way, they should be consulted.
They are 16+. They're both almost adults and should have a massive role in deciding how their lives go.
And he said 'I have possession ' on one of the times. That's a strange way to put it!
@@carolroberts4614 I have possession is not actually a weird way to put it it is a technical legal way of putting it. Because parents do have possession of there children legally. And that's a good thing because the other 2 options are children being possessed by the state or being in possession of themselves.
I don't care about it being a legal term! We hear many of these type of stories, and not once have I heard anyone use 'possession ' for their custody time! It doesn't sit right to me.
@@carolroberts4614 good for you that doesn't make him a bad person because you don't like a term.
So, OP, you making sexist jokes is perfectly fine, but if a male employee dares to do the same, OMIGOD, patriarchy, my fee-fees are so hurt! Bullshit. Don't dish it out if you can't take it.
Hi. I’ve said previously that I love your channels and your voice ( but I do have some hearing issues) and I’m so happy you put the text back. But…would you please put the darker background behind the texts back? Your background scenery is beautiful, but the white text color very often gets lost in the scenery and I can’t see it, and sometimes can’t hear you. Please consider it. Thanks.
the husband who wouldn't answer the door: divorce him. he doesn't care about his family.
Oh is daddy hurt? He can’t walk his daughter down the aisle, your wife, her mother did as much to raise and love her as you did. I would dump daddy and ask mother to do it alone.
It's much easier to demand the walk down the isle as a father-daughter moment than to offer to help with the rest of the planning. I doubt he ever offered to join them in planning because that's just women's job.
I hope your not this cold and condescending to your parents and kids.
I would as well. He doesn't get a say who walks her down the aisle.
The man eyes joke is funny- between me and my wife. Definitely not appropriate to a subordinate at work. And then to escalate to a write up because he turned the joke around on her. THIS is what is wrong with Corporations- managers (supervisors) who do NOT have the mentality to be in charge of people.
Jake said the same kind of joke to her and she got pissed because he didn't accept the "dopey dude" stereotype.
Story 1: NTA. The only things OP did wrong was to not punch him hard when he blamed her, and starting divorce proceedings.
Imagine if OP got into a car accident and Jake said, "Were you driving with your woman eyes?". lol She'd absolutely lose it.
EDIT: Omg I paused to write this and just now heard his response about her "woman brain". Amazing. Jake deserves a raise.
EDIT 2: She wrote him up!? What a see you next....
EDIT 3: Holy sh*t. She actually tried to claim his was more discriminatory!? lmfao
2nd Story: YTA. Op's wife is really going to let him have it if he asks her to step down. Raising the children was, as we can assume, a joint effort between BOTH parents, not just one. The bride sees that both deserve to walk her down the aisle. I actually want to do this too in the future when I get married.
3rd Story: YTA. It's nice to see that the best way to shut down an idiot making inappropriate remarks is to simply say you don't get it and ask them to explain why it's so funny.
Yeah, I always thought walking your child down the aisle was sweet. I never thought of it as some sexist patriarchal thing. The dad seems super petty to not want to walk with his wife. I think that sounds like a lovely thing to do.
I disagree in a wedding the fathers usually don’t have a real say. They usually just pay and let the women involved ( mother, bride and mother of groom) make all the decisions. The only real involvement they get is walking down the aisle and the father daughter dance. It hurts when someone you love doesn’t feel the same way as you in a once in a lifetime moment. Especially when you have only one chance to feel that moment. With that being said I feel it’s NSH since it’s her choice but he has the right to his feelings
@@rum1105 that argument is pertty much "women do all the work and the man gets all the glory"
@@Becks-and-books Get your sexist butt outta here with that nonsense.
@@Becks-and-books huh? Lmfao how? I’m gonna need this one explained
GPS story: OPs husband is a massive jerk. First he adds people without talking to OP. Then when OP talks to her husband, he tells the other people in a way that males OP look bad...and this is common. Sounds like hubs likes things his way and will make problems if he doesn't get it.
"Big Brother is watching".
How did he tell people in a way that made OP look bad? That’s pretty much what she said and her feelings on what was happening.
@@rum1105 when OP disagrees with him on anything, he tells people she is "paranoid and panicking"
@@Mewse1203 but isn’t that pretty much what OP. She didn’t really have a reason for not wanting sister in law on the app besides she didn’t want her knowing where she was. I would’ve described that the way I just said it or just paranoid
@@rum1105 how can you say "she didn't have a reason" and the very next sentence say exactly what her reason was? A)That is a valid reason. Many people wouldn't be OK with their HUSBAND tracking them likebthat, let alone family members across the country. That us a huge invasion of privacy.. but she's fine with her husband knowing where she is at all times. Not everyone would be and that's is OK.
B) even if OP was fine with the sister knowing, he didn't ASK. He just added people without talking to his wife, someone who would be affected by that addition C)he then paints her as overreacting when she wasn't at all. we see stories very similar to this all the time. Someone has a reasonable request, and their partner paints them as unreasonable for wanting it. And OP says this happens any time she disagrees. That's not a healthy mechanism for a marriage at all.
WHAT ? REALLY ? Take away his family that he wants nothing to do with. It's called irresponsible, entitled, Not A Father or Husband ! LEAVE !
I wear high quality earplugs that block out almost all noise. But I would NEVER lock myself away from my husband and animals. If he or our animals need me, they can get to me no matter what, even though that means my senior dog will wake me up every single night at 2:30am to go outside. I couldn't do it any other way...
Back in 70-71 I worked at a small production lab. The atmosphere was sexist, "old boys club" kind of stuff, with the kind of behavior that would produce court cases today. I was a hippie, and partly didn't fit in, but I was also 21, and not 100% what I should have been. (nor am i now) Anyway, there was a manager in another department who liked to joke around, teased/borderline harassed female workers, and had a smart mouth. One day, he was being "funny" and I made a few comments which irritated him. He then cornered me in another part of the building to tear me a new one.
When he came at me, I forcefully told him that he couldn't have it both ways. He couldn't be allowed to make any comment he wanted, yet police others and chew them out for responding in kind. I said, if that's how you want to play, then never speak to me again. Now, I was 6'3, 180 lbs, and not easily intimidated, but he backed down, and I never had any problems after that, but it stuck with me. If you have power over others, and abuse it to allow you to insult them, but go crazy if they respond, you don't deserve the authority.
I left that job, and recently found out it had been declared a "Super-site" for clean-up of the pollution they caused, and I wonder if my present cancer might have been started with the toxic crap we worked with. All in all, not the best job I ever had.
Which is a long way of saying, that woman manager is an idiot, and needs some training immediately. She got rid of a good, smart, quality employee by her actions, and she plays the victim. Dumbass.
Incidentally, this comment was flagged as potentially against youtube guidelines, and I can't figure out why. I reviewed the policies, and see nothing here that is offensive, but if I'm wrong, I'll gladly delete.
@tgbedini I have read a lot of comments and your comment is fine.
Ah, another round of "Why our inability to communicate like mature adults is costing us our relationship."
I stay up late to play videogames, get up to work mid-morning and then nap-just like the husband’ I love gaming and doing whatever I want, whenever I want. Why? I don’t have kids! When are people going to stop giving in to their spouses pushing for kids and spreading the “life script” that you have to get married and have kids. You don’t have to have kids to be the happiest and most fulfilled person you can be.
Good God in Heaven above. My dad has sleep apnea that wasn't diagnosed for *decades,* so even getting to bed at a reasonable time makes him hard to wake up in the morning and crabby when you wake him up earlier. That said, when Mom kicked him in the leg and yelled "BAT," he sprang out of bed and grabbed a broom to try to herd the animal out the window. Likely was running on autopilot more than anything, but that was *still* his immediate response. He sometimes fell asleep during the day, but most of the time it was a chance for Mom to take a picture of how cute he and whichever of us kids had curled up with him were.
Not that he's perfect. One time when Mom went into labor in the middle of the night, Dad had a particularly hard time waking up. As Dad took his groggy time getting dressed, Mom kept insisting that he hurry. So he dropped his pants and said, "Don't rush me."
They joke about it now, saying that the only reason he survived is because Mom needed him to drive her to the hospital.
such a strong woman!
NTA OP Put lock back on the door then wait until he goes to work then change all house locks put the DIVORCE papers on the front door. Tell him this is so he wont be disturbed anymore you are already a single parent so all you will be missing is that jerk .
I feel for the dad in the 2nd story. Everyone is so quick to shit on a man’s feelings, but god forbid a man who has only one daughter wanting to fill in the traditional role of walking her down the aisle while paying for a 3rd of the wedding. It’s not like he insists on making decisions for the wedding. It’s something I feel the vast majority of fathers get to look forward to. My vote is NSH the daughter is entitled to what she wants but the father is also entitled to feel slighted.
I agree, poor Op he got shat all over.
In story 2 some cultures have both parents walk the bride.
As a male nurse I’ve heard the “man eyes” jokes and other gender based comments thrown about. There is literally nothing I can do or say on the subject. I know for sure if I was make gender based comments in return I’d Be dragged over the coals.
And that pisses me off. Nobody should have to tolerate that kind of behavior.
If your in the US or Europe you should document, go to HR, document the HR visit and the results, if things don't improve or get worse, sue them, plenty of lawyers and even entire firms that would take this kind of case on condition, hell some will do it probono.
Good for you, Jake! Signed , A Woman
So he plays games and doesn't have anything to do with kids? Divorce him he is not a good father or husband!!!
Please forward this to every gamer that whines about being lonely.
At Jewish weddings, both parents walk both partners down the aisle and stand up with them during the ceremony. We're joining families. That dad who doesn't want his wife with him is ridiculous. It's not up to him. It's not about him. He's going to ruin this for his daughter. Sigh.
I have hypoglycemia and I take naps during the day too, but, I NEVER lock the door and I NEVER tell people to “buzz off” smh
"Man eyes" story: Sexism cuts both ways, lady.
Adopted Daughter Wedding Story: The wife is already bonding thru most of wedding planning like dress buying and such so OP wants that bonding by giving her away. So he is NTA
THANK YOU. All these fucking misandrists here are trying to make OP out to be fucking monster.
Have male friend over during the time he sleeps and games. Not for sex obviously. Just to help with the kids.
Why does he not just play games In those 2 hours he's napping so he doesn't have to stay up late?
If I were first OP, I would kick him out and lawyer up at this point. What would stop me? Being a single mom? She already IS a single mom!
Don't get married and have kids if you want to live like a teenager.
Story one: OP is not depriving her selfish husband of anything. If he's sleep deprived, it's because he'd rather play computer games than meet his familial responsibility. This is marriage counseling material -- and possibly cause for divorce.
Hell yeah!!! I'm proud of that boy who called out the female boss and her hypocrisy, feminism, toxic behavior. I love that kid. I'm also glad he had the brains to go to HR first. That kid is going places while the female boss is going unemployed. Hell yeah!!!! 🇺🇲
1) The daughter asked for you both, and to be reasonable OP should let her have what she wants, it really does take nothing away from you.
2) "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." You insulted him based on gender and brought in something personal. That is not professional and not ok, and then to make matters worse you refuse to acknowledge your mistake and criticize him for responding in kind. YTA. He clearly saw you for what you are and made the correct decision to get away from an unprofessional, biased, unreasonable, and vindictive supervisor.
3) It seems to me this is something that needs to be respected and husband's attitude and response is awful, he should have discussed before adding others without your input. NTA.
4) YTA for not being reasonable with custody. Discuss this, and also speak with the kids about what they want.
Man eyes story: I have ‘man eyes’ too but I like to call it ‘selective blindness’. So that it’s not gendered.
Funny thing is men's & women's eyes do work a bit differently. Men's vision is better at tracking movement, better night vision and has less motion blur while moving.
Women's vision has a much higher sensitivity to color and can actually see colors men cannot.
@@nicholashodges201 Which is why they should shop for paint by themselves, most of us literally can't tell the difference between certain shades of color like you can.
@@black1917 I'm a guy. I'm just as colorblind as the average
Well I tell you I wouldn’t lock the door I would put the wife in charge of keeping the kids away from the door because things happen sometimes emergencies emergency and he’s not gonna die from this all sleep I’m sure he would like to have you for your body to but I think I want the door to stay unlocked it off unless you’re doing something fun in Arabic not every day because my wife might need you think happened emergencies happen while she had a stroke or something you know so anyway I think she had a right to remove the lock but she got to go to the door now or he’s gonna be really cranky if the kids are metal winning by three points off that’s what I would do that if you did the right thing I think he’s a little bit overbearing on on that and I think I don’t know how much he needs to sleep you take care
Hey, manager person: If you can't take it than don't dish it.
I love to play video games, after the kids are in bed and the chores are done I get to play for 30 minutes or an hour each day. When the kids are up I play video games with them. I couldn't imagine putting any game ahead of my kids
Not sure if anyone else made this comment, maybe I see things offside. Locking his room does not mean he doesn’t want to be disturbed ( that was already in place) it means he has something to hide . Gambling/ pornography/ chat rooms whatever,@
Art from HMO’s I haven’t seen locks on bedroom doors so was immediately wondering why.
My husband wakes up first every time the kids are sick even though I’m a nurse, especially when I find it hard to open my eyes after a long 12 hour shift.
So many stories are about gaming. Selfish people who value their games over people. When you get married people, make a hard rule there will be no game consoles in the house. Computer games included.
First story: How old is this guy?!?!?! He is a PARENT. If he wants to behave like a spoiled teenager, he shouldn't have gotten married and had kids. Parenting is a full-time, 24/7 job. Maybe it's time he gets fired.
Second story: Dude needs to grow up. It's an honor to be asked, and his daughter wants BOTH of them. I hope he stays quiet & puts on a big smile on the wedding day. The mother isn't "barging in", she's been invited. And just because that commenter's mother had a day in their wedding doesn't mean that's the case here.