What made the narcissist pick you
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- Опубликовано: 25 окт 2024
- Who in the world are narcissists attracted to? Are they attracted to "weak" people or do they target stronger people to try and break down? In this video, I, A self aware narcissist, talk about what could attract a narcissist into your life.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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Thank you so much
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I think narcissists are attracted to strong people because they truly want someone of value, but then they get intimidated or afraid they dont deserve this person so they gotta weaken that strong person, or devalue the strong person because theyre competitive or jealous or whatever narc reason they might have.
you could be on to something
🎯This was totally my experience.
Spot on.
This vid was soooo enlightening. They all are but...I agree that you are onto something. They are drawn to strength. Repelled by accountability/boundaries and any sign of vulnerability.
My situation was...typical but atypical.
OK, so I loved a narcissist...or did he?
His strength & masculinity were magnetic. I wanted to be near him because he was all man.
He gravitated to me because...ok, so his love bombing was full of merriment because we were soooooo much alike. I sang the same song to him. He oozed with "OMG, you're exceptionally gorgeous". I randomly tossed in things like "boy...I forgot what I was bout to say, so cute it's distracting".
He told me little things he liked, I made a couple of them show up at his door.
One very simple gift, he called screaming "you love me! You love me! Thank you God, this woman loves me!". I said "of course I do".
He said he loved my smile & I said "you'll always see it because you make me smile". He said I mentioned everything about him that he thought no one noticed but him. I told him that he admired everything about me that I wondered why nobody admired but me.
We were in touch 24/7...slept on vid phon when we weren't together. He started to ask my opinion on business angles. He implemented several. I told him I was proud of him & he beamed. He told me I was brilliant & I should join him in business. I told him what a genius he was for thinking of it.
His future faking ran deep...he sent a copy of his SS card, credit report, 2 bank statements, medical results. He said full transparency because "you're the one". I reciprocated (his credit score is much higher) because SURE. He text a pic of an elderly couple saying "this is us".
Of course, he always mentioned this ex or that ex - & how they'd have never done/said/caught/envisioned...whatever he thought rendered me superior. He claimed that he blocked them all because they ended up being (human). I did the same with respect to him & my ex's - it was true, my ex's were inferior to him in many ways.
I recognized immediately that he was very self-absorbed. I also noted the mention of several people in his past that he'd "cut off". He admitted to grudges. I told him of my laundry list of "axed, erased from my hard drive" & grudges.
Sometimes it takes 1 to know 1. I saw myself in him sooooo he was easy to admire. He was strong, driven and smart. He never said so but I'm sure that's where his love bombing was rooted - he LOVES him & he constantly talked about how much we were alike.
I LOVE me but he was (staging) wonderful. He said what I liked to hear. I did the same for him. So I didn't just blush & wait on his next...whatever. I had adoring statements for him. Technically, we love bombed one another.
We'd have mild disagreements & those would slip into gaslighting sessions. Sometimes he'd nod & stop talking or I'd just say SURE. I think that was us seeing the other & considering he/she's not going to back down because I wouldn't vack down- just end the topic. Technically, we'd gaslight eachother.
There was a mutual respect, kinda.
What happened was he OVERESTIMATED my fondness. He disappeared for a weekend & when he reappeared nonchalant, there was nothing adoring about me. Why? He ignored my need to be adored. I had a meltdown...in summary, went full vulnerable. I was ANGRY as in "I let this man bring me to tears, he's just like everybody else,...". Of course HE never uttered remorse but when I said "I didn't know I picked you from the garden variety". He booo-hoo'd...guess he realized he wasn't perfect to me & any other any body was equal at that point. I was frazzled & hyperventilating...so I was nowhere near perfect to him. I was VULNERABLE- like every other woman. AND I couldn't have been very smart to "overreact" (his word) to him doing nothing.
In about 44 minutes, I went from strength & perfection to weak & tragically flawed. Surely, he was thinking all the same things I was thinking. - we think a lot alike. If he admired feeding off my strength then he was weak if I was weak. I was gasping for air & he was literally shivering. People say NPD is all ego...what I saw in his eyes wasn't ego. It was pure disappointment - IN ME. I was rattling off disappointment but that didn't matter. He said little to nothing.
The next day he said he didn't know how to process what happened and couldn't talk about it. He said I looked evil. I told him he was stone faced with tears flowing & that wasn't exactly processable either.
Two days after that, he TEXTED that he really wanted to be with me & he'd never block me but I scared him.
I texted a couple times after that. Nothing so I un-favorited his contact info.
It was like a light switch. Madly in love to OFF.
All of that said, counseling helped me to realize that I have MANY narcissistic tendencies but I am not a diagnosed narcissist. I share several of the narc needs & triggers. I've learned/been taught to navigate around several - consider others' opinions/needs/emotions. My ex is diagnosed with NPD - according to later medical discussions. It didn't scare me but that disappearance was my cue to dip - eventho we swapped a lot of protected personal info & eventho we were so much alike, I refuse to live like that. Goes back to me loving me BUT I made certain to enjoy him while he was enjoyable.
The biggest difference between me having tendencies is that I wasn't telling lies - I sincerely apologized for my delivery (not for being mad) & I meant everything. He knew if he didn't discard me, he'd be discarded. It'd actually hurt me to discard - but I knew I had to do it and he wasn't going to let me have that control so he beat me to it. I wasn't a backbone & symphony of compliments if I had the audacity to confront him about anything that I perceived as imperfect.
He, on the other hand, had a supply chain - per diagnosis protocol. I did not so I truly missed him. Still do because I have textbook human emotions. Him missing me (see supply chain statement) is a nonfactor IF he remembers my name.
Strength. It was magnetic for him. Me, too, but for slightly different reasons. Vulnerability & being called out - accountability, they're ghost.
They are looking for such people only to use them. That is all. And if you are kind and empathic (and you set no boundaries) you are an easy target. I was too...
"Your strength might attract them but your boundaries might repel them"
She likes me more probably cuz she saw another trait of self respect...
"Strength without boundaries isn't strong."🔥🔥🔥🔥
🙌🏾
After such a relationship you learn to set boundaries. At least I did. It is also a learning-experience (I hope for a lot of people).
@@majorsolutionsllc Not true.Emotions are somthing else,once you get sex involved.
Not true,sex involved changes everything.You have no idea what strength is obviously.
Some narcissists are certainly attracted to people they consider strong. They also like to “humble” those people. I think it gives them a sense of control and makes them feel better about themselves. I would think that most of them would want someone that makes them look good, too. But then again, some of them may go for anyone that gives them attention, especially since they need external validation.
Because they're weak.......
@@MyTubey101 yes! 👍🏼
And now I'm much stronger after cutting ties.
💪
Whoever they can get depending on their needs at the moment
Def could be true
I was stupid naive and dumb. I thought he liked me for me but he liked me because of what he could get out of me. And I gave it to him willingly. I told him what he wanted to hear. I lied to him. I told him I loved him even though I didn’t. I didn’t want to disappoint him and make him mad. I was scared. He saw that I was a bubbly girl and a people pleaser. He took advantage of that. I will always regret being in a relationship with him. He changed me forever. I thank God we didn’t get married. I didn’t know that someone would willingly want to take advantage of someone. Like why would you do that? I’ve isolated myself I don’t want to be vulnerable and get hurt again. I’m not a perfect person. I have many flaws, I thought he would help me with them, but instead I got really hurt and in the circle of people I know, I am known as a liar. I thought I was the narcissist, sometimes I still think I am. I’m not sure what to do. The best I can do is isolate my self so I don’t disappoint anyone else.
Could be a narcissist in a schizoid phase or just a mixture of healthy and unhealthy traits. If you can't afford therapy then look into actual psychology. Watch Sam Vaknin and he sites many books, authors and studies. Narcissistic people end up with narcissistic people. I never would lie to someone to not hurt them especially telling them I love them. But when I do love someone if they hurt me bad enough repeatedly I can become from frantic and obsessive to ice cold. I don't say hurtful things I regret but I basically read them for filth by laying out their issues that cause them to destruct in hopes they will stop being destructive to themselves and me. Then regret it because as I say anyone can see those things if they pay attention and they don't care. After being in a bad relationship and having parents with some stanking traits that I'm still enmeshed with, I find myself more upset, unable to tap into affective empathy, constantly thinking "well what about me" and I don't have much interest in others. I didn't used to be like that and I don't like it. However I feel it's the bad situations I keep being in and little respite I have. It's not like that with everyone even now I have one person I at least feel somewhat normal with. I'm going to get therapy once my money stabilizes again. We gotta be interested in ourselves and willing to sit in uncomfortable truths. Hope I offered something to you of use.
Talking to friends or a counselor or yoga class will help when too you're ready...I just went through exactly what you wrote about. It's like living with a brick wall they don't have feeling and we're always wrong. Just blame us and start to make you think we're the crazy one, or narcissist! I'm on day 2 of not responding to texts or calls. I became addicted to the drama and his validation, yet extreme cruelness too. Like a yo-yo and it is like any drug. Sobriety is something we all strive for and leaving the narcissist is like quitting drinking! Freeing! And they hate being ignored too so it is the best strategy too. We deserve kindness and real love and it starts with ourselves! All the best to you, thanks for leaving the comment so others know we're not alone.
you are very kind for your reply. i hope you stay strong and ignore him and don't let him play you. and i hope you find happiness for yourself. i hope day 2 becomes day 3 and day 4 and day 5 for you and so on. thanks for commenting on my comment.@@Irisandfriendz
Don't isolate. Think of a plan to protect yourself while still being able to live. Buts it's quite natural to want to isolate
Na, that's how it goes. Same happened with me, your not alone in this.
The Narcissist will find someone who has a traumatic wound and rip it open. You pointed out being a people pleaser but having a spotty reputation and they zero in on that.
Easier to sook up the validation and then afterwards a convenient "bad guy" to pin it all on.
Once dr Ramani said that acting unavailable attracts narcissists and it didn't make sense to me at first but now it does. Narcissists like challenge. Normal people respect your boundaries. I had very strong boundaries and all guys pursuing me were more or less narcissistic and with sense of grandiosity in them. "Regular" guys were probably intimidated by me and my boundaries.
💯
i don't like ramani..... i prefer to dr. e on the Heal NPD channel and the dr. tracey marks' channel. he's a psychotherapist. she's a psychiatrist. PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@@ItsSoarTime me neither but it stuck with me... I like the heal npd too. A different perspective on npd.
One of the things a lot of kids learn growing up in a dysfunctional home is how to appear stronger than they really are . It's a coping skill and survival technique. To make matters worse , I freely admitted to the fact that I wasn't as emotionally strong as I appeared to be. Ask me how many of my relationships were toxic....😢
Just happened to me this week. I even cried to him that I didn’t have a family growing up and that it makes me isolate… How did I run into his trap and he barely had to do anything 😒
Ironically, it takes a strong, self-aware person to share their vulnerability. Abusers take advantage of this, but your inner strength can help you leave the toxicity, heal and grow.
Grief put a target on my back 😡
😫
Yep, my husband died and he game for the insurance policy. This guy is the brother of the Devil. I meant nothing but money in his pocket. I was even sick on disability with a daughter not well. It was so obvious and I ignored the big enormous red flags. I’m sorry, we need to move on.❤
Searching for love did it (at least in my case). The thing is in the fairy tales the prince is real but here nothing is real - all a big show act. You have a frog in fact no prince.
I’m coming out even stronger, wiser, discerning and beautiful! No demon is gonna bring me down. I’m a godly woman! Greater is He (Jesus) who is within me than he (satan) who is in this world.
yes i was tough and independent and now "he cant stand me" because im not that person anymore but he cant see I am what hes made me
He slipped in with expensive gifts while I was grieving the lost of my daughter. He Impregnated a girl and then gifted me a 2023 Jeep Wrangler the day he found out she was pregnant. Somehow I stumbled across this video 3 minutes after he called begging to continue being friends, meanwhile he moved the pregnant girl in his house (WE ARE NOT FRIENDS). I set boundaries and I’m sticking to them. I kept the Jeep tho 😝
🙂🙃
yes!!! why do they think we are friends even after they have done these things to us?!
@@heatherweedon9465 they want to be in control or even just have you as a secondary situation in case it doesn’t workout with the new person. They assume their bad behaviors has weakened you enough and the gifts made them irreplaceable in your life. At this point , the boundaries I’ve set is sickening him! He is being very out of character with his shenanigans for example; he banged on my door for 4 hours until my neighbors called the cops 🤣🤦🏾♀️. He has told me many times that I’ll never find someone to treat me as good as he did. (Not being arrogant but it’s in my nature to be gifted well from men). WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!
WTH 😅
@@MyTubey101 true story!!!!!
I was a complete shell of myself once I left him. I was on eggshells living with him and was hypervigilant and triggered by so many things that reminded me of him and my experience with him once I left. I never want to experience anything like that ever again. I felt numb and I didn't know who I had become or what happened to her/me. Still learning the new me... but she fights like hell now to uphold her boundaries. I fight now to maintain what honors me. 😊
Love "strength attracts them but boundaries repel them"
Accountability repels them....empowers us.
He admired my strength until it impeded on his agenda
I swear too God this is soooo true in my experience, I find it's easier too walk away from these people then too try too rebuild broken trust with them.
Don't ever trust the narcissist...they will always do their best to destroy
They chose me because I was a former runway model while my father was a very wealthy businessman and in politics.
This is awesome insight! 😅 Thank you! He definitely was drawn to my strength. But, he always got confused about what my definition of strength is. My heart is my superpower as well as my intuition. I was a Marine, yet I prefer peace. But, I'll cut a fker if need be. 😂
😅😅
HAHAHAAAAA!!!! WENDYWENDY!!!! MS.MOORE!!!!! MY SISTA!!!!!!!!
This is me!! I could’ve been a marine!!
1: People who are ignorant of red flags
2: poor boundarys ( can’t say no)
3: No core values ( values the victim should never break). Trades away values for validation
4: Simp/yes man/yes female. Ass kisser,
5: Trophy wife/trophy man ( hot/handsome). Excellent fasade
6: Empath/healer: Takes care of others, in a self less way
7: belives in the good in all
8: love addict/romantic ( these also often romanticeise toxic relationships). And are easy targets for their « soul mate scam».
9: Ignorant of narcissism. Many people simply refuse to understand that narcissism can exist. These are the typical codependents
10: past trauma ( comes from broken home)
11: past of codependency ( they find out your ex was also a narcissist)
🙃😉😉
You are so right.
He had me in a dark place.
When I came out he doesn't know how to approach me.
He says he wants to be friends.
A narcissist is your enemy, and never your friend
Noo, stay away from him, he is not your friend!
@@danaortega6873
I cut all ties with him even including his family because if I stay in touch with his family eventually he thinks he can get back in.
My Narc told me he broke me and I cannot do the things I use to do. That what’s he thought…left and I have so much peace and living my life like it’s golden.
Never ignore red flags, MOVE ON if you spot just ONE. Women tell on themselves so easily its a disaster for the next generation.
🏃
I guess it depends. My ex narc dated a lady before me that he said wasn’t that attractive but he did it because she let him move in right away. Then he got with me and I’m a very popular girl in our hometown so he always would post me or want to be seen with me but he never posted anyone else which is why people thought I was something special. Now he is dating a girl that he told me about before the discard he said she was just like the girl before me and he didn’t plan to be with her and she knows that but she just let him use her car etc…. He doesn’t post her either like how he did me.
sounds like he's a user
Yes, they even destroy strength.
I agree 💯. And I recently learned over explaining is a form of ammunition for them. You just provided them a full course meal and they’re enjoying it like a thanksgiving dinner.
💯
Narcissists are attracted by intelligent People, cause intelligence can push an immature individual to grow, narcissists seek validating parent.
You can be the best champion in the world or a fucking loser with no friends, they don t care about this.
definitely could be one of the things that attracts them
They want someone strong because they are weak…. They don’t fight fair or directly….so them knowing they were able to con and break a strong person they feel Amazing …. The don’t feel weak anymore
Being undx with Autism was my downfall. But I got dx, meds, and therapy. I figured me and him. When I wanted him to leave and refused to relinquish control, I got a PFA (unbeknownst to him I knew about the tracker on my car.) The judge awarded me 2 yrs NO CONTACT and I get 100% custody. Took that power and control right back.
The reason why people do this is because they dont like or understand emotions. Someone who hides their vulnerability and so they expect others to do the same. We are all beautiful people. ❤
People overall go after people who don’t live up to their idea of what life should be like.
They go after what attacks their own belief system to keep their world in order.
If you are right or happy… it makes them insecure about what they believe to be right or wrong
I think mentally strong 💪🏽 but naive is how they like them
Hey, Lee. Titling your self-love journal "I Love Me" was *chef's kiss* savage lol. I C wut you did there 👉😎👉
😝
The Nark is a hunter on energy, challenging, sex appeal, sassy, good looks, n popularity , everything I am .
Lee...once again you're right. Keep up the good work in educating us.
Thank YOU.
you’re welcome
Very good. Thanks. I liked this one a lot.
Yeah, going in as a Fist and coming out with the Middle finger for him now!!
‼️‼️
Speaking of kicking someone when they are down - My BPD ex-wife picked stupid fights with me less than 12 hours after my mom's death. I later found out that there are a lot of similarities between Borderline and Narcissism.
According to Sam Vaknin, anyone who can supply 2 out of the 4 's' (sex, supply. services, safety) qualifies as a potential intimate partner, friend etc. That's all it comes down to. It's all about what you can offer them, the rest is irrelevant.
Supply levels are very different
What about when it comes to narcissistic customers?
As a retail worker i deal with them a lot,
most are just nice enough to get their things and go home.
But I'm not usually the type to react as intended to something said to me.
But as of late there's a random customer, But they give me weird brief stares whenever they see me. Last night while I'm on the smaller self checkout. I see him kind of circling where I am just looking at me randomly.
It started when I simply asked them as they were at self checkout, if they'd give 5 stars as my job makes all do and they passively went off on me. I don't think I gave them the reaction they wanted from that and i used another customer's emergency to disengage midberatement. So been since then they have this evil eye out for me.
I told managers about it, what else could I do? When I see them look at me I look back, just kind of making them aware I'd seen them i guess.
Just a really odd thing.
I don't think they'll do anything physical cause they usually come in with a small family.
Sometimes it's a nice looking face and body with a home and a car.
Thank you Lee!
My pleasure!
The Narcissist I was involved with decided to move into the apartment buildings beside me with her husband. She did that and bragged about it to her friends. I literally walk outside and I’m constantly reminded of all the horrible things I went through with her and now she’s flaunting her husband. I’m really struggling and I’m trying to move soon.
Thanks Lee for this video 😊💖🙏.
My pleasure 😊
How one narcissist used me to get through school
Oh my God Lee, thisis RIGHT ON...I can't believe this. Wowww
🫣🙏🏽
I think this makes sense to me. My nex was Miss Popular, tons of followers online, surrounded by a bunch of yes-men and yes-women. I feel like I was one of the few people in her circle that would actually tell her when she was heading down the wrong path and about to F up. She didn't like being told she was wrong, but eventually would come to me for advice on her life and career. There were other guys in her life who probably had a lot more going for them but she chose me for some reason
I can relate. My nex is a full-time bartender; extroverted, very charming, had a seemingly decent sized social circle. Meanwhile I'm reserved, more of a homebody, and I don't really drink anymore (he's a heavy drinker).
After the discard, he told me the only reason he pursued me is because I'm attractive. Considering the nature of his job and the fact that I live in the next city over from him, couldn't he have found someone else? Why go to all of that effort to pursue me in particular? I even pushed him away a couple of times during the talking stage because I knew we weren't very compatible. So many unanswered questions.
He may have been attracted to your alcohol abstinence and your home-body quality. He also may have resented those traits.
Narky respects you. You have those qualities of self love, self respect, smart, strong, charismatic...
Ahh, she chased me for years..i was always a bit distant and when she got me (she told me that she thought i was to cool for her🚩) and when she had me and i was ready to invest the cheating, manipulation etc. happend
‼️🙌🏾
My ex saw that i was strong but also noticed that i really wanted a relationship and thought i was gonna put up with whatever to keep him nah i was never that desperate i would rather be alone. I jus wish i could speak to his exs becuase its no way im the only one that went thru this with him
My narc seemed to love me for 25yrs. Lately, I've noticed this narc behavior and concluded he's mad because he feels he can't measure up to actually "having" me as his. Imo, my strength is attractive but, my boundaries very obviously, intimidates him.
I wonder why the narcissist I was dating at work has a work bestie. ( top tier flying monkey)
They are always together. Now I realize it’s because they have a shallow relationship with no boundaries and he said he thinks she’s confident and strong. She’s a hardcore lesbian so he doesn’t date her but he spends a lot of time with her during work and these are the reasons why.
They can't get a strong secure respectful person, we WON'T have it. Narky always wants what they can't have. So poor Narky always ends up with the same weak insecure doormat...
So maybe we should tell all our issues right in the beginning and see who stays😂
Thats so confusing. my strength attracted him, but my strength is his weakness? That sucks. but it makes sense cause it made him uncomfortable when I questioned him, challenged him, or went against his judgement.
Why did she choose me? Cuz she knew i was good at what i do while also thinking she can break me down. Caught her by surprise.
💯💯
So true.
I think my ex narc chose me because i was overly nice and a church going person. After 12 years of on and off marriage, I am just finding out that she pursued who i thought was my best friend that has a very strong personality and he is also a narcissist(Ive known him for 18 years). She is a highly sexual person. She would push me away so they could hook up and then i would fall for the trap and get sucked back in. This absolutely crushed my soul..two people who i had soooo much love for absolutely turned against me. I feel as though she was out to get me from the start…
Do I wanna buy a book so a narcissist can make more $$ on previously manipulating people. It's genius!
😶
Thanks for the insight.
Glad it was helpful!
I think sometimes I’ve looked like a strong person, that may have being going through losses. But then I have insidious boundaries. What I mean by that is that I may not confront a narcissist head on. But I frustrate the Hell out of them, because they’re not getting anywhere with me. Like a soft, but absolutely firm NO.
I think I look different, not because I’ve treated narcissistic relationships like a revolving door. But because I’ve actually aged, while going no contact. Time has passed. If anyone has ever gone no contact, but is had legal issues, like probate or divorce, where the court is also willfully ignorant, in seeing the narcissist for what they are, it can drag through your life, for quite some time. You don’t take care of yourself the way you hoped. You don’t pursue the things you hoped. If the narcissist has violent tendencies, the trepidation has negatively affected you. You’re not as happy and jovial as you once may have been. You may also look older and more tired, because you actually are and, when people look at you, they may pick up on your skepticism about meeting or trusting people.
I still pull it together, when I need to, like for court. I even feel empathy for my narcissistic sister. But it does not stop me from handling business. Still, the constant churn, just to get rid of her…
oh my goodness
@@MentalHealness as no legal entity has done anything about her yet, for things like stealing my mail (on video) and overriding the court, by kicking in my door and changing the lock they approved I installed, perhaps, I’ve caught a break though. (Both of us inherited homes on the same street and I don’t live there yet.) Recently received my mother’s 2023 SS Benefit Statement. She’s been dead 2 years. SSA is investigating. So, that bypasses the entities that don’t do anything.
Yep you completely destroy us our lives families etc
😞
Only if we let them. Everyone needs to work on their own shit. Why are we attracted to Narcs to begin with?! That's the real question. Where have we not shown ourselves the same patience, compassion, forgiveness, and nurture to ourselves that we gave to the Narc?!? That's where the work begins. In us. Not them. None of us amazing, beautiful creations of the Most High should ever sell ourselves short again. It's a SELF WORTH issue. That's exactly what we have in common with the Narc. It's a mirror.
Why would a new supply who used to mate guard like crazy against me allow the female narc to be alone with me aka old supply?
Now I understand...
💯
Nice flex silly lol
But I agree I think it was because of my strength for sure, but what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. 💯
💪🏽💪🏽
Factz. Super strong 💪 right now
Hi mr hammock
I believe they attracted to strong people
I believe they love u for awhile but soon u start to see the relationship crumble when u don't allow them to control you mine would threaten me quite a few times saying he `ll allow his daughter to whoop my a.. which never happened they leave when u cant pay attention to them at the time he set me free my mom became very I'll from covid and almost died at the moment I had to put her 1st because that's my mom nobody comes before my mom
That's when I began to see his true colors and I had to bounce like a basketball no more playing his game😊🎉❤ 8:39
I can tell you - I knew nothing about narcissm. I was young and naive and I had issues because of my childhood (I was treated the same way than a narcissist treats you). Okay I was never love-bombed from my mother - but I looked for love and in fact that was the biggest problem. In the end I have to see that it was all a big show- there was never love only using).
That's so touhg to deal with
@@MentalHealness The realization and to get to know about narcissm was really a tough one (you can´t think in your head that such people exist who want to harm others). But sure if you are in such a relationship you can be never happy (you just have to accept that) - there is and will never be happiness. It is sad in fact. (Because I really loved that person ...).
But they do pick out anything you could be dealing with at that time and use that what your going through to lure you in to take advantage that includes buying them pizza borrowing money and listening to their sex talk or about their exes
yea, some will do that
They are attached to strong people like me 😂
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You are right, the same thing he told me, he likes strong girl, he takes them as challenge and like to destroy their ego. I could not understand his words, but now when he left me for some other girl, that she don't look good but is independent and in a good job, he choose her over me... i am left behind waiting still for him to come, bcz i love him. I know their relation won't last long, but will he come back to me ? i love him
Yes but when he leaves you again it will be worse and hurt way more. Run before they can actually kill you!
Girl, please work on your self-worth, self-respect and self-love. Once you strengthen your foundation, your self-concept you won't be attracted to this toxicity anymore. Love is not toxic, nor controlling. You deserve better.
Vetting👏vetting👏vetting 👏hooooo man 😂😂😂
😂😂
Mr Lee please give me some ideas to break truma bond on your vedios
We are attractive folks
🙂
Ne Yo 🎵
Wait. I think it’s important, to differentiate between primary supply vs secondary supply here. As primary he always was attracted to my strong traits (told me so and the women before me) but his secondary supply (didn’t have jobs, didn’t take care of themselves, weren’t educated, etc.) they were always weaker…
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Who cares? Good for you that you were the strong one. Stay strong and find that future, strong counterpart. It's not that guy that has your ego, and insecurities revved up. I feel ya on that impulse to prove yourself worthy to a Narc. Been there, done that. It's a waste of time. Release, pray. And let go!
Wow, you sound so proud of your position in this bullshit...how many second supplies were there? I was the second supply he was using to live with in my home and he only visited you...I didn't like that at all let me tell you...I showed him the door...who's the strong one? Weak? You are the enabler...I walked away. Your welcome. Since you primary supply's are so great I'm sure you took him in right? Right??
I think people are missing my point. I am not with him. I was saying, I have a PhD, a home on my own, a six figure job. I was the primary supply. The homeless, joblessness, drug doing women who were his “friends” (secondary supply) he was attracted to for attention and they were not as strong. Believe me. They had insecurity issues, but they were easier to control and hung all over him because they wanted his attention, and he needed their admiration. I swear this is why I don’t comment on social media because people will just tear you up if you have a differing opinion.
@@tiffanyseward4305 Well I don't give a f**k who is first, second, third, primary, or whatever..he was living with me and yes I have a college degree too and a home but whatever...he was off being with everybody else and so I told him to go move in with them since he didn't appreciate. If you are keeping score who is who in this bullshit your just as bad...their all users and whores. The weak one's are the one's who keep enabling his behavior building up his ego to continue hurting people.
From what I've seen from my personal experience, the weak people get folded in as flying monkeys.
Very weak to see the more unhinged and behind the scene stuff that narcissists are involved in and rubber stamp it so the Narcissist doesn't bother you/you receive some consolation prizes.
Like they are only passing them over because they are too submissive/not important enough to bother with. Mediocre basically.
Buckle up 😂
I'm not sure to be honest, because we are completely different people...we do not share core values at all. I try not to but I compare myself to his past partner, and we are the complete opposite. Go figure..
it can be confusing
Thank you Lee.
This first hand “other side” perspective/insight is of incalculable worth.
I can’t imagine the impetus of your deciding to heal & then also your raw willingness in deciding to share.
Wrecked to healing ❤️🩹 ❤
✌🏻