As an adult who (at least occasionally) displays narcissistic traits, I can’t help feeling that the most obvious answer must be the narcissist’s birth FAMILY! I grew up in an extremely narcissistic family and I feel lucky that I have not turned into a full-blown narcissist, but I certainly do NOT mind admitting that I have narcissistic tendencies. My healing endeavour will not end until and unless I am absolutely sure that narcissism has totally disappeared from every fibre of my being once and for all!
The narc that was in my life became that way by his family treating him like he was the second coming of Christ, the sun in the sky and we should all bask in its glory and feel blessed that it chooses to shine upon us. Only he mattered. The way they bent and broke themselves to please him is what he expects from everyone else. When he doesn’t get that he will do whatever it takes to make sure all eyes and ears are on him.
I love your children's book title. I think it's important for EVERY child to know or learn that concept. Knowing that could honestly save lives. Congrats on your book, Lee, and thanks for always bringing such helpful content.
YOU are 💯% on point, narcissist learn through their environment, watching those around them, and monitoring individuals behavior to what they can or can't get away with.... They start in early childhood and master the behavior as they filter through relationships....Some are a lot more clever than other narcissists.....The covert-somatic-narcissistic friend I met at a support group for victims of sexual abuse, though she had experienced S-abuse, she wasn't there for that reason. On account she became desensitized to the abuse and thus identified with her abusers.... And thus, she became this ego-syntonic parasitic leech....seeking others to latch on to, thereby using them for her self-aggrandizement.
All forms of aggression are perceived by the individual as self-defense, because aggression is caused by a state of distress triggered by the perception of not only a threat, but one that restricts their agency to the point where they can neither leave nor wait. So yea, narcissism as a form of self-defense holds up.
Abuse usually. The lack of empathy development at a very young age from neglect or abuse or sometimes overindulgence. The bad bad abuse is where ASPD comes from.
I spent a very long time, decades, fostering and working with youth and YA who were from the worst situations heading to the cluster b diagnosis and right now my bpd ex is stalking me and again, he didnt end up like he is from being raised in kindness @@MentalHealness
I grew up with a Narrsisist Mother and I CHOSE to NOT be like that when I had Children that behavior was gonna DIE with Me.!!!! #BeingANarrsisistIsACHOICE #AndIAbsolutelyREFUSEToMakeAnotherPersonDealWithWhatIWenTHROUGH
I relate to much of what you said. My ex is a narcissist and the self defense part is spot on. He was always very defensive, and I realized at one point that he got in trouble a lot as a child and was shamed a lot. He was also very afraid of getting into trouble with his dad and older brother. He is a Middle-Eastern Muslim and their family dynamic is generally a little different than it is here. He was the 2nd born son, so his older brother was considered his "dad" when Dad wasn't around. I also noticed how strict his family can be with the kids. I also noticed how they would use their religion to shame them too.
I also eventually figured out that lying is a self-defence mechanism. However, narcissists take this to extreme levels. Actually, they might be stuck in a survival mode, otherwise why would they need to have so many partners? As mummy and daddy weren't there for them when they were little, they had to find alternative survival sources and several for the better chance of it? 🤔 And learnt behaviour is so on point. They're also void of empathy and emotionally undeveloped. The one trait I don't quite understand yet is grandiosity. I don't get it, but it gives them away pretty quickly 😅
My husband, father was very abusive and toxic and he learned how to be manipulative and controlling from him. Also my husband would tell me , I analyze everybody that I meet so he would know how to manipulate u according to what information you told him. He was very childish
Very true, I've seen it along my years and several narcissists. They'll bounce a 'fact' off you or someone else to see if it goes well or if there's some way it's countered or opposed with either a better fact or some reason others doubt it, then the very next conversation or soon after they'll use the successful 'fact' or its 'correction' as Their intelligent input. In this way they seem intelligent and up-to-date but really only sharprn their skills.
I love your content very much! I have heard from Dr. Ramani that Nacissists are made. Nobody was born Narcissist. It actually striked me hard and I had empathy to those people who bullied me right away.
Narcissism is reaction formation to emotional and mental neglect as a child. Lee is right in one sense that narcissism is a set of behaviors learned as an adaptation in reaction to the environment, as a means of self preservation, instead of developing the self as a holistic and natural being. they are a show of themselves literally a series of reactions to the people who were in charge of them and other environments as they grew up they are not a person, they are a set of reactions
Indeed however as an adult they can recondition themselves. Not a victim at that point. They’ve hurt others during their growing up and they’ve reconditioned themselves for a healthy life etc. that’s exactly why they stay that is enablement like Lee said. Just learning to keep escaping consequences basically.
@@6foot7sun they can only do that after they had a terrible amount of pain and basically been torn down in the process called mortification. And they have to be Self aware. Does a computer with bad programming know that it is a bad program.? No. they have to recognize that they are their problem and then it is an act by act minute by minute hour by hour day by day. Exhausting process.
The saying "truth hurts" hits hard rn. I stayed most of my life with him. Knowing nothing would change but felt I could handle it. But its wore me Out!
Thank you so much for these videos Lee. They have helped me understand and get some footing on growing and moving to a brighter future. I just went no contact 10 days ago and have had some hard days, really hard days. your videos have made me feel heard and seen. Most importantly, strong. Thank you and I’m so grateful for your content!
My ex was very disconnected to myself and our children. He tried getting his needs met by the most toxic behaviour. His mood swings, silent treatment, being really kind then a complete ogre the next day. He had a very dysfunctional family life growing up. He needed to control everything but around people other than us he was a completely different person. So kind, went above and beyond.
According to Dr. Sam Vaknin (who is also a narcissist), the irreversible brain/traumatic injury to the child is **always the result of the failure of the child to detach from the mother at a critical stage of development** i.e. infancy. The mother, the MOTHER 🙄 He detailed this big trip to Europe to me when we first met, told me how he was all by himself, went to the orchestra etc etc...was acting so cool how he travelled to all of these places...this man went to Europe with his mother lmfao 🤦
Yes he's another self aware narcissist. Probably one of the firsts. I saw his videos since 2015, 16. That's when I first heard of it but still didn't understand it till now.❤
From a young age. I believe its self taught. I believe something happens and they realize it worked. I believe its also a trait that's tweaked to perfection. I believe a narcy brain is wired different to. But I'm not a narcy. I do know one I've watched grow from a baby. I think your surroundings could bring the Trait out either used for good or bad depending on the individual .
Both his parents were narcissistic. His father was an abuser and cheater. His mom was mentally manipulative. He learned how to lie and you have taught me how to watch out.
The narcissistic person I know has never had any emotional support by her family. She was hit and cursed out a lot by her own mother. I think her childhood was horrible. She learned to depend on herself from a very young age. So it makes sense to me that she must feel superior and can never let her guard down. Being vulnerable was dangerous for her growing up. What does not make sense to me are her predatory ways, going out of her way to belittle other people. She has never enough supply. But sadly she will not go to therapy. I understand where most of her behaviors come from and I can feel empathy for that but it's not the same as wanting to put up with it. I'm not choosing that for myself. Good luck on your book Lee you can do it and it will be another succes :) x
I believe it’s a combination of various things. For example, it could be from a narc parent(s), chronic neglect/abuse from childhood, being placated as a child and there’s definitely a spiritual aspect to it.
The reason people give more chances are because narcissism is self destructive and we kid ourselves that the narcissist will see that eventually and change , it would benefit them too. So only if we experience narcissistic partners on several occasions do we know it’s a total waste of time because they invariably won’t change
One of the things I've seen is the narcissist is made by: environmental, childhood experiences, and by parents by overprotective or neglectful parents. It is not one thing only. I've seen a very good stable person and a narcissist from the same parents. Saying it is any one thing is not true.
My ex missed a lot of school as a kid. So he watched a lot of TV. He learned to mimic human behavior by tv shows He saw his parents, dad treated mom like she was subservient.
This the one. Been ferociously consuming your content the past few months since my narc ex left in a rage for asking to take off an AppleID from my account. Her narc father and flying monkey friends have been triangulated to keep my daughter from me. This is brilliant
Everything you said was true. I have noticed all of this from the narcissist I know. I just don’t let them know the things I see so that I know how to deal with it. Just like you said they study and repeat things over and over and when they tell their story it sounds true to other people. You can’t let them know that you know what they are doing. Just prepare yourself and make your move.
I grew up with my narcissist and watched her narcissism grow. She was a habitual liar from at least the 1st grade on. It didn’t matter if you caught her in a lie, she would just make up another lie to cover the lie, she would NEVER admit the jig is up. I watched what her family put her through and excused her actions and treatment of me bc I knew how hard she had it at home. I don’t think I was consciously doing that, but looking back now it’s kinda obvious. I will say, she got much MUCH worse in adulthood. Our friendship ended in our 20s
Narcissism is a generational mind virus. Narcissist + codependent or narcissist + narcissist makes more narcissists. Some of us are just lucky to be the sibling that isn't the golden child, and who sees all the corruption in the family.
@@heavenlygrandma9992 oh most definitely. But the good news is, I left October 13th of 2022. I just haven't got the money for a divorce, and he won't file
@@ittybittypretty82 Oh, so you are married to him. Did you mean to say soon to be ex husband. I'm in the same boat about the divorce. It's been almost a year since I left, but I haven't filed yet either. Just can't handle the stress right now. October 13 was my little brother's birthday. Maybe you could sue him for the cost of the divorce in the divorce settlement? After all, if he had treated you right, you wouldn't have left.
My ex inlaws wanted my husband to take my kids disability card away from me. He would have never done that again. Their disability money paid are bills. My ex inlaws didn't want me to have any of the money to pay bills. They wanted us to live with them to make my life miserable and the kids and yes they're son too. He has hit rock bottom. No job. His parents give him gas money pay his bills. What about the 7 months back child support. He only sees his kids 48 days a year. Just because he wouldn't move towns with me. I have a job and apartment. He lost everything he ever loved. Because his parents know best.
Are gifts bread crumbs ? I remember the first arrest he bought me beautiful flowers. I lied to the crown first arrest. I said I have Severe anxiety. I said he did nothing wrong. What about getting arrested over and over. Do narcassist have trauma bonds too ?? Is that why they overreact and need to control. Lee I have Stockholm Syndrome and Agrophobia DID and complex PTSD Your honesty is so refreshing Lee. I thank God for you. Maybe next month I can book an appointment.
@MentalHealness I don't know if I'm to ADHD or just can't find it. LOL my ex was having an affair with a married woman for 7 months before I caught him and made him move out. But before our manipulationship (7 years) he slept with married women then too. Really he slept with anything with two (or one AND THREE if you know what I mean) at the end I found he also had an 18mo sexuationship with a $lut... 13 weeks out your videos have definitely helped in my healing 💗
*Narcissism is one of a collection of mental health conditions known as “personality disorders” (a lousy term). Personality disorders don’t respond to psychotherapy or to any other emotional healing system that’s been tried so far. (There is one exception, a very intensive program called “Dialectical Behavior Therapy”; but it’s next to impossible to get someone to do that program if they don’t admit to having a behavioral problem.)*
Yeah, but, when I watch vids from you and Dr. Ramani and others, my ex has said and done everything y'all list. It's crazy! It is like narcissist behavior is downloaded into certain people and they all act a like, think a like, talk a like...it is so bizarre to me. 😵💫
People can be described similarly to hardware and software. We're all born hardwired with our personality traits, IQ, genetics, etc, then we're shaped by our upbringing and experiences. Narcissists are most often extroverts, so external validation is baked right into that personality trait....but that's not to say all extroverts are narcissists, not so. But then you add other factors like being overpraised as a child, parents with extreme expectations which basically sets the bar too high and the child is set up to fail and develops ways to compensate, they're often the "golden child" of the family or can be the opposite, extreme criticism, ignored, devalued.
Hay Lee, srs question tho. Do you have a voice in your head that feeds you these negative pessimistic thoughts? Like the ones that you werr saying to your kid that wasn't even old enough to understand wtf you were saying? If so, can you recognize where in your mind it comes from? Does it sound different from your voice? It's true there isn't a narcissist skript... However the way they are the things they do and most specifically the things they say, are so damn identical over a mass majority of all toxic/narcissistic individuals I've read about. That it seems like they got a skript. But it doesn't make sense how such a large amount of vastly different unrelated unaffiliated ppl could be saying/doing the same exact things. Like they even move the same. My now ex partner of the past 10years, I mentioned he changed after he got brain dmg in 2019. Even the way he looked and moved changed. The way he held and handled his guns changed. And looked like others I been seeing. I have a hypothesis.
Colleges are actually producing narcissistic people.😮 My cousins who were raised VERY much conservative came back from college unrecognizable. It was scary!
@@MentalHealness a brainwashed .prospective IMHO! My cousins are now little Hitlers and no one can speak freely around them or you'll.offend them. They throw fits and try to be more " woke" than everyone, telling everyone how intelligent they are and how they are above everything and everyone. The humble, respectful little kids that I used to watch are now adult monsters. My sister in law.and her husband have always been about free thinking, fairness, forming your own opinions, "Agree to disagree" kinda people. They never shoved their attitudes on anyone. My cousins get aggressive now. They call you stupid and other names if you have a different opinion. They get in your face. No one can speak freely around them or all hell breaks loose. Holidays are a living hell.
@@aspiemom6044 "Someone can't be officially diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a condition where a person has an extremely heightened sense of self-importance as a defense mechanism, until age 18 when their personality fully develops." "Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder." Respectfully......
Shoot I had subconsciously learned narcissistic behavior like gaslighting because it got to the point where I wasn’t going to put up with her s🤬 anymore.
My opinion Honestly I think most narcissists know they are narcissists because ppl told them before I did & nvr tried to get any help some just like being that way if a narcissist doesn’t change they already know what their destiny is because their personality is wicked and comes from devil
But why don’t all people use this self defense behavior. Are they born with this disorder or are they conditioned from early childhood? Is it nature vs nurture?
Yes this female made up a whole lie about her sister having the same dinning room set as me & she the one who had it😂 I didn’t leave the situationship I just watched her & took notes for 10yrs 👀 finally left her toxic lying ass in 2023 it’s so much more that took place & I got witnesses every step of the way my children’s father other BM 😂
But why?? Narcs are ridiculous. It just makes my head hurt. Can you talk more about children narcs? Are you scared your children will become narcs? Do you think we can help our child stop being a narcissist if they are 17? I need answers. I realized my husband was a narcissist, and I have had no contact since Oct 2023, but he still talks to the kids. I feel like my son (17) and my daughter who's 8yrs old are becoming like him. I am terrified. We were together for 17yrs. 😢
As an adult who (at least occasionally) displays narcissistic traits, I can’t help feeling that the most obvious answer must be the narcissist’s birth FAMILY!
I grew up in an extremely narcissistic family and I feel lucky that I have not turned into a full-blown narcissist, but I certainly do NOT mind admitting that I have narcissistic tendencies. My healing endeavour will not end until and unless I am absolutely sure that narcissism has totally disappeared from every fibre of my being once and for all!
🙌🏾
I could never understand this but now hearing about the upbringing it’s something I never considered before…something to think about.
The narc that was in my life became that way by his family treating him like he was the second coming of Christ, the sun in the sky and we should all bask in its glory and feel blessed that it chooses to shine upon us. Only he mattered. The way they bent and broke themselves to please him is what he expects from everyone else. When he doesn’t get that he will do whatever it takes to make sure all eyes and ears are on him.
😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is the funniest description I’ve read!!!! But I totally get what you mean!!!
Same with my ex. It’s nauseating to be around.
@@milimohachintu409lol
Parents and friends were greeting my narc out of jail as he returned from very important mission on Moon… for me it was shock 🫢
"Older narcissists are the worst! " 💯 Thanks Lee!
💯
I love your children's book title. I think it's important for EVERY child to know or learn that concept. Knowing that could honestly save lives.
Congrats on your book, Lee, and thanks for always bringing such helpful content.
Absolutely!!
YOU are 💯% on point, narcissist learn through their environment, watching those around them, and monitoring individuals behavior to what they can or can't get away with....
They start in early childhood and master the behavior as they filter through relationships....Some are a lot more clever than other narcissists.....The covert-somatic-narcissistic friend I met at a support group for victims of sexual abuse, though she had experienced S-abuse, she wasn't there for that reason. On account she became desensitized to the abuse and thus identified with her abusers.... And thus, she became this ego-syntonic parasitic leech....seeking others to latch on to, thereby using them for her self-aggrandizement.
💯🙌🏾
Oh my goodness!
All forms of aggression are perceived by the individual as self-defense, because aggression is caused by a state of distress triggered by the perception of not only a threat, but one that restricts their agency to the point where they can neither leave nor wait.
So yea, narcissism as a form of self-defense holds up.
‼️
Older folks can indeed be the worst.
🎯
How do they not learn fromtheir mistakes.?....as in failed relationships.... why are they ok with repeating?
@@stazellestazelle8644because it's never their fault
@@recoveringsoul755 I didn't know but that seems correct as well !!
So very true! They just get worse with age.
We have been together 15 years 😢. He's 62 and he is becoming worse every day. Has no shame and is abusive to everyone in his life.
Abuse usually. The lack of empathy development at a very young age from neglect or abuse or sometimes overindulgence. The bad bad abuse is where ASPD comes from.
!!
I spent a very long time, decades, fostering and working with youth and YA who were from the worst situations heading to the cluster b diagnosis and right now my bpd ex is stalking me and again, he didnt end up like he is from being raised in kindness @@MentalHealness
I grew up with a Narrsisist Mother and I CHOSE to NOT be like that when I had Children that behavior was gonna DIE with Me.!!!! #BeingANarrsisistIsACHOICE #AndIAbsolutelyREFUSEToMakeAnotherPersonDealWithWhatIWenTHROUGH
I relate to much of what you said. My ex is a narcissist and the self defense part is spot on. He was always very defensive, and I realized at one point that he got in trouble a lot as a child and was shamed a lot. He was also very afraid of getting into trouble with his dad and older brother. He is a Middle-Eastern Muslim and their family dynamic is generally a little different than it is here. He was the 2nd born son, so his older brother was considered his "dad" when Dad wasn't around. I also noticed how strict his family can be with the kids. I also noticed how they would use their religion to shame them too.
😫🙏🏽
I think your platform is amazing. It will be nice if you and Dr. Ramani can have a Zoom session.
I also eventually figured out that lying is a self-defence mechanism. However, narcissists take this to extreme levels. Actually, they might be stuck in a survival mode, otherwise why would they need to have so many partners? As mummy and daddy weren't there for them when they were little, they had to find alternative survival sources and several for the better chance of it? 🤔 And learnt behaviour is so on point. They're also void of empathy and emotionally undeveloped. The one trait I don't quite understand yet is grandiosity. I don't get it, but it gives them away pretty quickly 😅
My husband, father was very abusive and toxic and he learned how to be manipulative and controlling from him. Also my husband would tell me , I analyze everybody that I meet so he would know how to manipulate u according to what information you told him. He was very childish
Very true, I've seen it along my years and several narcissists. They'll bounce a 'fact' off you or someone else to see if it goes well or if there's some way it's countered or opposed with either a better fact or some reason others doubt it, then the very next conversation or soon after they'll use the successful 'fact' or its 'correction' as Their intelligent input. In this way they seem intelligent and up-to-date but really only sharprn their skills.
I’ve seen that in them. Very true.
I love your content very much! I have heard from Dr. Ramani that Nacissists are made. Nobody was born Narcissist. It actually striked me hard and I had empathy to those people who bullied me right away.
Narcissism is reaction formation to emotional and mental neglect as a child. Lee is right in one sense that narcissism is a set of behaviors learned as an adaptation in reaction to the environment, as a means of self preservation, instead of developing the self as a holistic and natural being. they are a show of themselves literally a series of reactions to the people who were in charge of them and other environments as they grew up they are not a person, they are a set of reactions
Indeed however as an adult they can recondition themselves. Not a victim at that point. They’ve hurt others during their growing up and they’ve reconditioned themselves for a healthy life etc. that’s exactly why they stay that is enablement like Lee said. Just learning to keep escaping consequences basically.
@@6foot7sun they can only do that after they had a terrible amount of pain and basically been torn down in the process called mortification. And they have to be Self aware. Does a computer with bad programming know that it is a bad program.? No. they have to recognize that they are their problem and then it is an act by act minute by minute hour by hour day by day. Exhausting process.
Sure, still doesn´t explain how they picked up all the tactics ...
@@cicichambers3887I can definitely see that.. Well they’ll face a bunch of unnecessary pain. Thank you for the info
In Lyman terms it was his coping mechanism?❤ To cope when he was a child. This makes alot of sense now.
The saying "truth hurts" hits hard rn. I stayed most of my life with him. Knowing nothing would change but felt I could handle it. But its wore me Out!
Thank you so much for these videos Lee. They have helped me understand and get some footing on growing and moving to a brighter future. I just went no contact 10 days ago and have had some hard days, really hard days. your videos have made me feel heard and seen. Most importantly, strong. Thank you and I’m so grateful for your content!
You are so welcome
Hang in there, this is the hardest thing EVER!!
My ex was very disconnected to myself and our children. He tried getting his needs met by the most toxic behaviour. His mood swings, silent treatment, being really kind then a complete ogre the next day. He had a very dysfunctional family life growing up. He needed to control everything but around people other than us he was a completely different person. So kind, went above and beyond.
Literally sounds like my step dad 😢
@@MANDEE7962 😥
According to Dr. Sam Vaknin (who is also a narcissist), the irreversible brain/traumatic injury to the child is **always the result of the failure of the child to detach from the mother at a critical stage of development** i.e. infancy.
The mother, the MOTHER 🙄
He detailed this big trip to Europe to me when we first met, told me how he was all by himself, went to the orchestra etc etc...was acting so cool how he travelled to all of these places...this man went to Europe with his mother lmfao 🤦
😟🥹🥹
Yes he's another self aware narcissist. Probably one of the firsts. I saw his videos since 2015, 16. That's when I first heard of it but still didn't understand it till now.❤
From a young age. I believe its self taught. I believe something happens and they realize it worked. I believe its also a trait that's tweaked to perfection. I believe a narcy brain is wired different to.
But I'm not a narcy. I do know one I've watched grow from a baby. I think your surroundings could bring the Trait out either used for good or bad depending on the individual .
Both his parents were narcissistic. His father was an abuser and cheater. His mom was mentally manipulative. He learned how to lie and you have taught me how to watch out.
😟😟
This just sounds like a whole lot of work just to hide insecurities instead of doing the work to overcome them 😫
The narcissistic person I know has never had any emotional support by her family. She was hit and cursed out a lot by her own mother. I think her childhood was horrible. She learned to depend on herself from a very young age. So it makes sense to me that she must feel superior and can never let her guard down. Being vulnerable was dangerous for her growing up. What does not make sense to me are her predatory ways, going out of her way to belittle other people. She has never enough supply. But sadly she will not go to therapy. I understand where most of her behaviors come from and I can feel empathy for that but it's not the same as wanting to put up with it. I'm not choosing that for myself. Good luck on your book Lee you can do it and it will be another succes :) x
Wow, this one was intense! Thank you for always sharing your mind with us, MH! You are a gem! 🙏💚
Glad you enjoyed it
@@MentalHealness I always do my guru! 🙏💚
I believe it’s a combination of various things. For example, it could be from a narc parent(s), chronic neglect/abuse from childhood, being placated as a child and there’s definitely a spiritual aspect to it.
The reason people give more chances are because narcissism is self destructive and we kid ourselves that the narcissist will see that eventually and change , it would benefit them too. So only if we experience narcissistic partners on several occasions do we know it’s a total waste of time because they invariably won’t change
One of the things I've seen is the narcissist is made by: environmental, childhood experiences, and by parents by overprotective or neglectful parents. It is not one thing only. I've seen a very good stable person and a narcissist from the same parents. Saying it is any one thing is not true.
Or parent who have NPD as well
Right? It's a lot more complex than that. Do you follow Dr Ramini?
My ex missed a lot of school as a kid. So he watched a lot of TV. He learned to mimic human behavior by tv shows
He saw his parents, dad treated mom like she was subservient.
😟😟
Happy Sunday 🙏🩷
🙏
This vid is the very best vid I’ve ever heard about npd and toxicity ppl.
Oh my goodness, I so need these videos!!! I gained so much knowledge from this!!!!
Ty sir as always.
you’re welcome
This the one. Been ferociously consuming your content the past few months since my narc ex left in a rage for asking to take off an AppleID from my account. Her narc father and flying monkey friends have been triangulated to keep my daughter from me. This is brilliant
Thank thank Lee, I knew it personality has to do with a person's upbringing and you explained it beautifully. Thank you Lee 🙏😎
You’re welcome
Everything you said was true. I have noticed all of this from the narcissist I know. I just don’t let them know the things I see so that I know how to deal with it. Just like you said they study and repeat things over and over and when they tell their story it sounds true to other people. You can’t let them know that you know what they are doing. Just prepare yourself and make your move.
I grew up with my narcissist and watched her narcissism grow. She was a habitual liar from at least the 1st grade on. It didn’t matter if you caught her in a lie, she would just make up another lie to cover the lie, she would NEVER admit the jig is up. I watched what her family put her through and excused her actions and treatment of me bc I knew how hard she had it at home. I don’t think I was consciously doing that, but looking back now it’s kinda obvious. I will say, she got much MUCH worse in adulthood. Our friendship ended in our 20s
Family, environment etc. my father had NPD and BPD and sociopath traits. I develope histrionic tendencies and npd traits.
My 79 year old narc father goes straight to voicemail.
Thanks Lee ❤❤❤🎉he know I know now and is respecting my boundaries
You are so welcome
Most narcissists don't like their moms.
Narcissism is a generational mind virus. Narcissist + codependent or narcissist + narcissist makes more narcissists. Some of us are just lucky to be the sibling that isn't the golden child, and who sees all the corruption in the family.
Top, very helpfully informations, thanks🙂
I told my soon to be ex husband that he had a tell when he was lying, but I would never tell him what it was!!!!
‼️‼️
I told my soon to be husband the same thing.
@@ittybittypretty82
Your soon to be husband?
You know he lies to you and he's still going to be your husband?
@@heavenlygrandma9992 oh most definitely. But the good news is, I left October 13th of 2022. I just haven't got the money for a divorce, and he won't file
@@ittybittypretty82
Oh, so you are married to him.
Did you mean to say soon to be ex husband.
I'm in the same boat about the divorce. It's been almost a year since I left, but I haven't filed yet either. Just can't handle the stress right now.
October 13 was my little brother's birthday.
Maybe you could sue him for the cost of the divorce in the divorce settlement?
After all, if he had treated you right, you wouldn't have left.
My ex inlaws wanted my husband to take my kids disability card away from me. He would have never done that again. Their disability money paid are bills. My ex inlaws didn't want me to have any of the money to pay bills. They wanted us to live with them to make my life miserable and the kids and yes they're son too. He has hit rock bottom. No job. His parents give him gas money pay his bills. What about the 7 months back child support. He only sees his kids 48 days a year. Just because he wouldn't move towns with me. I have a job and apartment. He lost everything he ever loved. Because his parents know best.
oh wow
❤awesome as usual
Thank you Lee
You are so welcome
Are gifts bread crumbs ?
I remember the first arrest he bought me beautiful flowers.
I lied to the crown first arrest. I said I have Severe anxiety. I said he did nothing wrong.
What about getting arrested over and over. Do narcassist have trauma bonds too ?? Is that why they overreact and need to control.
Lee I have Stockholm Syndrome and Agrophobia DID and complex PTSD
Your honesty is so refreshing Lee. I thank God for you. Maybe next month I can book an appointment.
Could you do a video touching base on why they target married women/men?
i did awhile back. i can do another soon
@@MentalHealness I'll look for it! Thank you!
@MentalHealness I don't know if I'm to ADHD or just can't find it. LOL my ex was having an affair with a married woman for 7 months before I caught him and made him move out. But before our manipulationship (7 years) he slept with married women then too. Really he slept with anything with two (or one AND THREE if you know what I mean) at the end I found he also had an 18mo sexuationship with a $lut... 13 weeks out your videos have definitely helped in my healing 💗
*Narcissism is one of a collection of mental health conditions known as “personality disorders” (a lousy term). Personality disorders don’t respond to psychotherapy or to any other emotional healing system that’s been tried so far. (There is one exception, a very intensive program called “Dialectical Behavior Therapy”; but it’s next to impossible to get someone to do that program if they don’t admit to having a behavioral problem.)*
The Narc be getting delirious whenever the person their involved with be near them😰
What is the difference between member and non member as far as trying to sigh up somehow, please ?? I am a bit unclear on this at this time ?
I don’t want to cut off my brother but toxic parents what to do to make sure they don’t approach via him reply Lee Hammock
Yeah, but, when I watch vids from you and Dr. Ramani and others, my ex has said and done everything y'all list. It's crazy! It is like narcissist behavior is downloaded into certain people and they all act a like, think a like, talk a like...it is so bizarre to me. 😵💫
400,000!!!🎊 🎉❤
🎊
400k gd that jumped up fast.
People can be described similarly to hardware and software. We're all born hardwired with our personality traits, IQ, genetics, etc, then we're shaped by our upbringing and experiences. Narcissists are most often extroverts, so external validation is baked right into that personality trait....but that's not to say all extroverts are narcissists, not so. But then you add other factors like being overpraised as a child, parents with extreme expectations which basically sets the bar too high and the child is set up to fail and develops ways to compensate, they're often the "golden child" of the family or can be the opposite, extreme criticism, ignored, devalued.
400,000🔥🔥💪🏼💪🏼👍🏼
Thank you
Hay Lee, srs question tho. Do you have a voice in your head that feeds you these negative pessimistic thoughts? Like the ones that you werr saying to your kid that wasn't even old enough to understand wtf you were saying?
If so, can you recognize where in your mind it comes from?
Does it sound different from your voice?
It's true there isn't a narcissist skript... However the way they are the things they do and most specifically the things they say, are so damn identical over a mass majority of all toxic/narcissistic individuals I've read about. That it seems like they got a skript.
But it doesn't make sense how such a large amount of vastly different unrelated unaffiliated ppl could be saying/doing the same exact things.
Like they even move the same.
My now ex partner of the past 10years, I mentioned he changed after he got brain dmg in 2019.
Even the way he looked and moved changed.
The way he held and handled his guns changed.
And looked like others I been seeing.
I have a hypothesis.
One of the narcs biggest powers is lack of empathy good Bye
Colleges are actually producing narcissistic people.😮
My cousins who were raised VERY much conservative came back from college unrecognizable. It was scary!
Colleges tend to offer ppl perspective outside of how they were raised
@@MentalHealness a brainwashed .prospective IMHO! My cousins are now little Hitlers and no one can speak freely around them or you'll.offend them. They throw fits and try to be more " woke" than everyone, telling everyone how intelligent they are and how they are above everything and everyone.
The humble, respectful little kids that I used to watch are now adult monsters.
My sister in law.and her husband have always been about free thinking, fairness, forming your own opinions, "Agree to disagree" kinda people. They never shoved their attitudes on anyone.
My cousins get aggressive now. They call you stupid and other names if you have a different opinion. They get in your face. No one can speak freely around them or all hell breaks loose.
Holidays are a living hell.
I agree. Certain ppl at the top.... are manipulating children and adults through the education system.
Respectfully, NPD is set pretty early on in life, between age 4-6 years. College would not change someone’s core personality.
@@aspiemom6044 "Someone can't be officially diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a condition where a person has an extremely heightened sense of self-importance as a defense mechanism, until age 18 when their personality fully develops."
"Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder."
Respectfully......
They follow the Lee 2.0 How to be a narcissist master class😂.
They learned it from themselves. That's what I know from my perspective 🤔
My ex narc would ask me how I caught him doing his dirt. I refused to answer him because it would just make him sneakier. Don't tell them jack.
My ex was 50 years old!
Shoot I had subconsciously learned narcissistic behavior like gaslighting because it got to the point where I wasn’t going to put up with her s🤬 anymore.
Why do they need control in the first place?
❤
Sadly...life in this world:(
😟😟
they learn it from their mothers‼️
Am I the only one that noticed he randomly cleaned his ear with a q-tip? Lol
🫣🫣
I was cracking up with that 😂
My opinion Honestly I think most narcissists know they are narcissists because ppl told them before I did & nvr tried to get any help some just like being that way if a narcissist doesn’t change they already know what their destiny is because their personality is wicked and comes from devil
😮
In conclusion,devil only made narcissist people only in this temporary world actually
Ok so bro, as someone who has a wife, would you have advised her to leave? And cut all ties?
Yes. If the work isn't done or if she is unhappy, then yes. I've told her that as well. We communicate a lot better
But why don’t all people use this self defense behavior. Are they born with this disorder or are they conditioned from early childhood? Is it nature vs nurture?
It depends what age they experience trauma. The age 0-5 is critical for personality development.
Yes this female made up a whole lie about her sister having the same dinning room set as me & she the one who had it😂 I didn’t leave the situationship I just watched her & took notes for 10yrs 👀 finally left her toxic lying ass in 2023 it’s so much more that took place & I got witnesses every step of the way my children’s father other BM 😂
🤭
But why?? Narcs are ridiculous. It just makes my head hurt.
Can you talk more about children narcs? Are you scared your children will become narcs?
Do you think we can help our child stop being a narcissist if they are 17? I need answers.
I realized my husband was a narcissist, and I have had no contact since Oct 2023, but he still talks to the kids. I feel like my son (17) and my daughter who's 8yrs old are becoming like him. I am terrified.
We were together for 17yrs. 😢
Yeah we just teach them and help them to be and how to be a shitty person💯
💯
Was that a q tip your ears itching doesn’t that mean lies just kidding lol.