I've only ever had one true anxiety attack, but I've had horrible, powerful anxiety for as long as I can remember in regards to absolutely anything that doesn't fit snuggly into my safe zone (a very small space, i assure you). I'm so, so unused to people understanding my anxiety and not judging that I'm in tears right now.
I come from a family were they (at least my dad) does not or at least did not believe it was real. I was told to "man up" stop looking for attention and just get over it. All I've ever wanted is to be seen and today you have done that. Thank you.
That’s awful. My mom is a big fan of saying there’s things you just have to deal with. No excuses, just deal because you need to. Yet my dad once told me about the time she had a panic attack and they had to leave a party… I shouldn’t enjoy that but I kinda do. I wish parents would learn to accept themselves and use that to help their kids.
In some sense I was lucky enough to have family who wanted to get me the help I needed so I was diagnosed with clinical anxiety at the age of 10. At that point I was having full blown can't breath, world closing in panic attacks over the idea of such small things like changing clothes. The thought of changing clothes. These days I can see the smaller signs of anxiety taking hold and I can calm myself down and bring myself back to reality before things get to bad but I'll still have "flare ups" when the world suddenly becomes a very scary place mentally. Over the years I've managed to explain the more severe attacks to people in 2 ways. For me panic attacks are your typical world closing in, can't breath, feeling like you're going to die panic attack. The attack people can physically see you experiencing. An anxiety attack for me is different. It's all mental. Illogical thoughts, mind racing, not thinking straight. A kind of blind panic. An example of thing is one day my dad came home from work, he was sore and a little grumpier than normal. Somehow my brain went straight to "I'm going to get kicked out, I'm going to be homeless, I need to start trying to find homes for my pets, sell unnecessary things" and I actually started searching for rescues to take on my pets. It was completely illogical. Dad had a bad day and mentally my world was ending but externally, I seemed somewhat ok. One of the worst parts for me was coming out the other side. When I looked back at how illogical I was being, sometimes even in the moment I knew and couldn't do anything about it. Anyway, thank you for this video. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that you aren't insane 😂
What are ways to talk/guide a friend through an anxiety attack? I have two friends that suffer panic attacks; they've never had them in front of me, but ya know, I'd want to be ready to go with knowing more than not telling them to calm down as their body runs a literal heart attack simulation.
I've had multiple panic attacks before and I would say your first thing to do is to take them to a safe place. My safe place is outside/in nature for example. Closed places make me suffocate, especially crowded places. Definately don't touch them unless they are normally fine with it since panic attacks may come from past trauma. Focus on calming them down or distracting them. Making them talk to you about something completely different may be a good way of distracting. Remind them that it will pass, just like every other panic attack. Panic attacks usually take about 30 min and then they completely disappear, so by doing those things they will be fine.
The only thing I need when I have one is a clear path to a place where I can sit & lean against something safely … the closer the better. (I don’t want to fall if I get dizzy or my legs don’t want to support me) Eventually, the initial panic will subside & I’ll be able to communicate/do more, but at the beginning, if I’m not sitting & supported, I’m likely to pass out. I also say avoid touching in general. I have no trauma, but I find it incredibly overwhelming.
Not an expert, but I’ve had a couple anxiety attacks. Having a “safe” place to escape to is important. For me, it was always somewhere isolated because I didn’t want people to see me melting down. Being reassured that my fears were not reality is ultimately what helped get me through it. But I’ve never had someone reach out to me during one, it was always the other way around. Since I talked to them through discord, most of them didn’t even know what was happening until later. I readily open up because getting information helps me feel like I’m regaining some control. I’m not sure what might help for people who don’t open up so readily.
Oh my god! That’s the greatest and most sincerely wholesome question ever. My girlfriend has panic attacks and I’ve looked exactly this up multiple times. Sadly, my memory isn’t great, but I think the other responses have been clear and consistent enough already. I have to say, I’ve had some myself as well, but not often. Mine have been in crowded places too, though not necessarily inside. I personally feel safer in a small, closed space with few people than outside in a crowd. My girlfriend definitely has them in crowds too, but also when there’s other stresses on her mind and she gets touched unexpectedly from behind. It’s of course to do with trauma, so keep that in mind. DEFINITELY the thing to do, as the others have said is make sure they can feel calm and safe. Be a candle they can focus on that leads them to a safe place. Then ask them if they want you to talk about it with them or if they want you to talk about something completely random. Talk slowly, don’t act worried, just confident that everything will be fine eventually, they’ll believe it if you show that you do. You’re not lying either, it will be fine. I remember reading that you shouldn’t tell them it’ll be fine, but my girlfriend completely disagrees. It helps her a lot when I say it, so…well…it’s a coin flip. If they want you to talk about something random, tell them about literally anything that isn’t stressful. If they often worry about themselves, it’s alright to give them genuine compliments, but not too many, just tell them about a good trait they often overlook. If they want to talk about what they’re anxious about (which I think they often don’t), just listen and point out when they might be overselling themselves (without interrupting them too much). It all sounds complicated, but it isn’t. Just bring safety into the moment. They’re your friend. Be that. They like you because you’re the person that comments what you commented on a youtube video. Be you; help them get to safety; show them they’re not bothering you by worrying you, in stead show them you’re confident that it’ll be okay; ask them (perhaps not making it an open question) if they want you to talk about something random or if they want to let it out. Be calm, be confident that they’re safe, be you. You’ve got this. They’ll be lucky you’re there if it were to happen.
I had no idea I was having anxiety until i stopped being able to fall asleep. Took years after that even to realize my first panic attack was in early childhood - because my entire childhood was peppered with all the avoidance symptoms. Learning to live with anxiety... it's a good day/week/month if i don't constantly have the sensation like i'm drowning
I tend to be quite neurotic and used to regularly have anxiety attacks. They would happen at the most inconvenient times- During work, when I'm out with a group of acquaintances and such. I spoke with a therapist and fortunately was able to pinpoint the major sources of the episodes. It came down to 2 factors that called for me to make some life changes so I could care for myself. These days I still get quite anxious, I feel like that's always going to be there- but I am able to manage it better than before. There are times when I feel myself starting to spiral, but I can catch myself before it goes out of control.
I was once tasked with teaching a group of kids about technical theatre as part of my college course, everything was absolutely fine until I introduced myself and I just froze, I managed to turn around to my class mate and say help but couldn't get another word out. One of the kids' teachers walked me outside and sat me down so I could get some fresh air on my own.
I have a lot anxiety. Even if I know things are going well for me there’s always something my mind focuses on and stresses about constantly. It’s sometimes difficult to turn off. I’m also a perfectionist and like to have control, consistency and security. I’m dealing with this better as I age as I’m more willing to accept that things can’t always be perfect and can often be beyond my control. But the anxiety is still there. I had a therapist that never truly helped me regarding this issue. I’m still trying to find the right one.
This hits in a way, even more than before. I deal with anxiety, and the meds aren't helping currently. It's making me try to control things to make it so it can work, making things worse. And the stupid part is that my brain wants me to just give up, not work on ways to fix this, even though I know full well it's not that hard to fix. As for my anxiety attack? Once as a teen, never again please. Not once
I learned that I had to have a certain amount of acceptance. I’d feel one coming on and tense up, trying to fight it. It only fueled it. It’s like a bully… the more you react, the more they torment you. So I recognized that these may return, but that I could get through it. It’s not something you want to accept, but it’s helped me, at least. Also that catching myself when stress was compounding and sorting through all those sources of stress to weed out what I could, well… it’s a great preventive.
I know how you feel. As an adult now I wish I wasn't medicated as a teen. I wish I was shown coping techniques and had met my therapist back then. Besides processing my trauma and going to the gym a few times a week the next best thing was time. As unhelpful as this sounds for right now......each year I learn myself more and research more therapy topics on RUclips and figure out more in therapy. Plus I think it's true that the older you get the less you sweat things. I wouldn't ever want to go back to being a grade schooler though. I don't care how old I am. It gets better when you have the options of an adult and the ability to choose where you spend 8+ hours a day making a living.
@3:49 This is the first time I realized that I have had many panic attacks. I've let other people, myself include, gaslight me into believing I was exaggerating or misunderstanding events. In this past year or two, I realized that I'm not just anxious, but I have chronic anxiety tied back to events in my childhood. I've heard friends describe panic attacks before; but because anxiety wasn't a possible symptom of mine, descriptions of panic attacks never resonated with me. If I hadn't had a panic attack this summer plus watching this video, I can't imagine when I would have found out.
When I'm at night I sometimes think that life is so hard for me, I simply do not think about it on the daily basis but when I stop and check myself out I say "why life is so difficult, why I feel so troubled to do simple things all the time" and I get sick of just thinking the way I do and being the way I am. But I feel guilty because my life is so good, I have so many privileges and I don't know if I have some mental illness so I feel bad for not standing life although nothing bad is happening in my life.
Jono: 'I never had an anxiety attack until I was 40 years old ... I went roughly half my life before I had one.' You look pretty spry for an 80-year old!
How do you know if you're experiencing a bout of anxiety, you actually have anxiety, or you may have high-functioning anxiety instead? While I have never been mentally prevented from leaving bed or something, I only do it because I *have to*, because people are counting on me to do so. Somehow I always find the discipline to do it, even at times when I shouldn't (i.e., personal sacrifices that generate resentment for others, etc.). This has been going on solidly for at least a year, so I don't think it's situational, but I also don't think I qualify under a general anxiety disorder either?
It’s a good idea to speak to your doctor or a therapist if you’re struggling, even if you don’t think it’s bad enough to be diagnosable. When I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I was still a successful engineering student. My social life though…. It was a mess. It’s also better to get help before it gets worse. For me, my depression was a result of untreated anxiety.
If you’re not the way you used to be and it’s not in a good way, you don’t need to prove it’s bad enough to be worth fixing. If you’re struggling with life, with doing things you used to do without struggle, there’s no harm or shame in asking for help. You aren’t taking something you don’t deserve. You’re recognizing you need some guidance. Even if that guidance helps you learn to handle those tricky situations and lighten your load and things get better, isn’t that worth trying? I just had a long rant about the bad therapy I’ve had, but I can also tell you that the best therapist I ever had was someone who was just helping me and my husband learn to raise our kids by understanding them better. It improved our lives and theirs.
@@BeeWhistler thank you for saying this. I don’t know to what level I might be diagnosed with anxiety, but I know it’s a constant for me, and that I stop myself from doing things because of it. Right now I’ve been fighting a mental block of knowing even without insurance I could probably afford it, but also fearing that it won’t fix me, or that I’ll have spent the money and then something financially big will happen and that money could have been used elsewhere. I’ve been contemplating taking the first step for a few months now, but still have yet to actually look for therapist in my area… But I have to remind myself that I am worth helping, and that even one step towards improvement is a step closer to living a life without fearing the negative.
I have a question. I've been suffering with severe symptoms of anxiety to the point where I'll have several anxiety attacks over the course of a single day or I get completely crippled and can't make myself do anything. Some days I can barely get out of bed to face the world cause I'm so anxious. Basically everything about anxiety you described in this episode is how I feel consistently. Now, the problem is my mother refuses to think that something is wrong with me. she calls it me "freaking out" or "being dramatic" or "being lazy". So... I guess my question is, how do I get her to listen to me so that I can get help??? I want to get help but I don't know how to get her to listen to me
I hope they answer this. Parents don’t want to think their kids are unhappy but it’s no excuse for ignoring symptoms of struggle. Too many people like to dismiss the feelings of younger folks and it’s incredibly frustrating. And I wish I knew how to convince her, but I haven’t had much success in that area. It’s so hard when you’re at the mercy of someone who doesn’t want to see the truth. Maybe a school psychologist speaking to her, if you’re still in school? But that doesn’t help over the summer…
Society does sometimes shame physical illness as well as mental. I remember a coworker hassling me for being slow on the stairs. The next month I was using a cane and his mental perception of my illness did a 180 and he suddenly was concerned about me overdoing it and maybe I should take the elevator. I was moving better because I was getting help from the cane, not worse... Mental illness is even harder to understand than invisible physical illness.
I would like you to talk about how to tell if your therapist isn’t up to the task. How do you tell, without wasting all your available funds first, that you are not going to be helped by this provider? I’ve given up on mental health care for myself but I want people here who may not have infinite cash to spend, to have a way to keep from burning through it all before being helped even a little. See, y’all paint a starry-eyed picture of mental health care. And yes, you say it’s still gonna be hard, you aren’t lying from your perspective. And you may be very good at what you do, in which case the folks here have found their answer. But I have had exactly one good therapist in my 49 years, and he wasn’t dealing with my anxiety, he was helping us learn to handle our complicated kids… and he died several years ago. My own story ia a couple of decades old. The ship has sailed. The “help” I was offered was faulty. I struggled as a child and no one figured out why. I struggled as an adult and no one got it. I couldn’t concentrate in school, I couldn’t manage time or organization or social interaction. There are a few obvious diagnoses for this now, but then I was labeled “hyperactive” and “problem child” and “achieving below apparent ability.” AKA she’s (insert fault here), and if she’d just (insert fix here) she could be so successful. I was always anxious, since I can remember, but the debilitating attacks started when I was in my early 20s. But the first of the big ones, the REAL ones, the ones that hit one day and would stay for weeks or months and make it hard to eat, sleep, drive… get out of bed… Those started when I was pregnant with my first kid. The day of the ultrasound. Too much reality, I guess. I’d had therapy before without much success, over and over, people who didn’t seem to give a damn and who wrote the whole time while I talked. One even said I was intolerant and then went back to writing when I started defending myself. Terrible, just terrible. This level of quality went on until I didn’t really trust therapists anymore. But what could I do? Sit every day and rock myself and cry? That’s what I’d been doing, but I was pregnant. I had to do something about this. So because medication was undesirable for obvious reasons, I got a referral to a therapist… one of the most incompetent yet. Some old man who would sit and smile and tell me, I kid you not, at the end of every session… to buy “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” As though he’d never said it before. He thought a coffee table book was gonna cure all my problems, and he couldn’t even remember he’d already suggested it on multiple occasions. It’s not to say that learning to choose your battles is useless, but I was literally crippled by anxiety. It would attack first thing in the morning. I felt like something would get me if I got up. It was physically excruciating to rise from bed. I was terrified. Throughout the day it got slowly better until I felt okay at night and had to go to bed knowing it would return in the morning. If I was feeling better and thought, “What if I have a panic attack?” BAM! I’d have one. My life seemed to stretch out before me like a long, straight, gray road with no bends or turns or side avenues, straight to death. But sure, let’s read this little book… After my kid was born, the panic had subsided and instead I had post-partum depression but only maybe one more therapy session. I didn’t recognize the depression because it was so much less painful than the panic. You can comfort depression. There was no cozy corner to hide from the panic. And it’s not like he could have helped anyway. The next time I had a panic attack, I didn’t bother with a therapist. I would never waste another dollar seeking professional help for the panic and anxiety. I searched online, read books (well, skimmed select chapters anyway), found ways to deal. I defused one oncoming attack by making a list of worries and sorting them by which could be addressed and which were a waste of effort. The rest of the attacks I rode out. I learned to say “calm” over and over. I learned to distract myself when I felt one tickling my sternum. I learned to be still and let it wash over like a wave, knowing there was no danger, and that it would pass, because they always do. They always do. The last one I had was almost ten years ago. It lasted months. I lost 50 pounds. Fortunately I could spare it. Just the thought of losing some weight has actually defused a couple since then… I’m still too heavy, so… hey, anxiety? Great, I need to drop a few pounds. Point is, nine years ago I could barely eat so I made sure every bite counted. Whole grains, veg, chicken, simple clean complex carbs. Made me feel like I had some control even though every morning was a struggle and I couldn’t finish half a bagel and half my hair fell out (blessedly not all in one spot, and it grew back since then) because they weight dropped so quickly and my body went into crisis mode. But I was handling it. I was my own doctor. I was treating myself like a sick person, I was counting my spoons. And yeah, I prayed. A LOT. Am I bragging? I think I’m condemning. I’m sharing what helped… and the deplorable fact that I had to figure it out without the professionals that are supposed to help people who are in crisis from within. I should not have been my own doctor, by all accounts. I was mentally ill! Someone else should have been the expert, not the sick person. It’s great to be able to handle it yourself but someone is supposed to guide you there, right? Prayer does a lot but there’s a reason God gave us Tylenol. So tell us, please, no sarcasm on my part… how can other people make sure their money, considerably more since I last sought individual counseling, is well spent? How do they get help sooner, so that they can start succeeding sooner, and feel they aren’t alone? I don’t want other people to head down the path I did on the chance that they make a wrong turn into substance abuse or worse. There’s lots of things that stop the pain. Most of them won’t actually make things better.
I'm sorry you went through that, I'm glad you came out of it being able to manage your issues. I hope they touch on this too, have you been watching the $#!7 therapists say series?
I'm not sure whether I had anxiety or was just feeling anxious yesterday, but I was thinking about a lot of things in my life and I felt like I wanted to be left alone and felt my heart going. I managed to get on with what I was doing and now don't have to worry about as many things, only now I'm doing the doubting myself again by saying one minute that I had anxiety yesterday and then saying that I was just anxious. Watching this video made me think about it all and made me feel ok about it though.
Just remember… you don’t have to prove anything. You feel how you feel, whatever they call it. It’s in the anxiety family. Sometimes you just need a minute (or a day).
Luckily (more like "luckily") both my mother and sister have anxiety, so they helped me quite a lot. I wouldn't get through university without using some weaker medications before exams, otherwise I panicked and was absolutely unable to think off anything. What helped me was to make plans after exam, like no matter how it ends I'll have free afternoon for videogames and I'll go play dnd on weekend. Also not studying day before because even with medication I just can't push through, I'm just walking around room so I can breath and I can't focus on anything else.
Please react to "crazy ex-girlfriend", it's a show about mental illness and the point of view of that person. It's a comedy and musical, Rachel bloom is the protagonist, co-creator, writer, and songwriter of this show. She's amazing and the show is amazing! ❤
When I first had a panic attack it was one of the scariest experiences of my life I had just started a new job and at somepoint as I was walking there I got it in my head I was going to be late I wasn't but I didn't have any time to settle down before I started and I found that my hart was racing I couldn't catch my breath it was factory work so it was hard and demanding I struggled for about two hours before I gave up and went running out of the place not a good look I my add anyway I started to walk home about two hours later and I'm about 10 to 15 minutes up the road and all that was running through my brain was I've got to get home I can't get home as it goes I ran into someone I used to work with and they gave me a lift home it was honestly horrible And I wonder what would have happened If I hadn't ran In to my friend when I did
Has anyone here had issues with handling certain everyday objects, like certain clothes or foods, even routines? Like fear of something happening has kept you from it/doing normal things? That is how my anxiety manifests.
So the only anxiety attack I've ever had was pretty much entirely physiological and without actual anxiety setting it off, which is why I didn't realize that's what it had been until months later when I realized "anxiety" was listed as a side effect of the substance that had caused it and how it had affected one or two of my friends in a similar fashion, and talked to a friend who's been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder about what physically happens, and had an "Ohhhh, THAT's what that was!" moment. I thought I was having a heart incident, major allergic reaction or severe asthma attack and legit was gonna die, only my husband keeping track of my pulse kept me from calling 9-1-1... I get the intrusive thoughts that ruin my mood and occasionally my sleep (as I suspect most people do at least occasionally) but aside from that I usually only get general stress which usually tends to just make me irritable. I know when I start screaming at traffic for being traffic, I need more vitamin D and some downtime, and if I scream at people in public (which happened a few times during pandemic lockdown shopping), I don't go out into public areas for a week. I really feel for the people who suffer through these regularly, they're terrifying on their own, nevermind whatever anxiety brought it on. My friend talked me through what he does to head his attacks off (he runs through a set of tactile exercises to ground himself back to reality), but sometimes he just describes it as a great big NOPE on the door that doesn't let him leave the house and some days even the medication doesn't get him through the NOPE. I hope everyone can find what works for them and be able to communicate it to those close to them, I hope I never experience another attack and I hope the same for all who suffer from this. Medication isn't "cheating", it's management. Do what you need to do.
My only question is how do I function when my anxiety is being caused by the thought of failing schoolwork, which happens to be very paralyzing and not doing schoolwork only makes it worse. I’ve thought I’ve had ADHD, anxiety, and depression in the past but I think after this video it’s maybe just more anxiety that is leaching into other areas of my life. I’ve got so much going on and so much that I’m struggling with that I’m also afraid to think about going to a mental health care professional because I should be working on things I’m behind on.
I get panic attacks on a semi-regular basis. I have developed a few techniques to deal with them. #1) I sing. It might seem weird, but it is quite hard to hyperventilate while singing/humming #2) This one is a bit scary, but I actively try to make it worse. I think this works because I am facing it instead of hiding from it.
I have a question!! How to find balance in your dating life! I always seem to get into relationships that end up taking time away from things I need to do. Or I end up incredibly stressed even though the person I am with isn’t abusive in any way. I know it’s something you have to navigate within each relationship individually, but any tips for how to establish those boundaries and open communication early on? #askatherapist
empathy burnout and compassion fatigue. What are their differences and how/why is it hard to heal from them when you are taking care of a person who needs it?
I have health anxiety I think I have cancer and I dont. I check my body for symptoms of cancer and when I find one symptom of cancer I think I’m dying. It is so terrifying I’m even on meds for it. Every doctor I’ve had knows I have anxiety. I think they should treat mental health issues like physical health issues. Been hospitalized because of anxiety twice.
Why does a cup of coffee reduce my anxiety significantly? Being a guy with ADHD I understand the other stimulant effects that help. I just really love the temporary positive mood shift. I can see why some people drink it every day.
Thank you for the video. Could you maybe talk about the topic of keeping it together during vvar? Many people are now experiencing mixed emotions, unable to leave the traumatic situation. What can you do to help yourself survive?
I am pretty sure I have anxiety and that it is getting worse. (Whoops hit enter too soon.) I am usually okayish by day. My anxiety dials it up to 100 at night though. I can be terribly exhausted, literally falling asleep on the couch or into he middle of an activity and then the instant my head hits the pillow bam! Here is what you are doing wrong, what needs doing tomorrow or next week or what you have should have done before now. My heart races, my breathing gets out of control, and my mind just won't let go even if I run down logical responses to it like:. Yes tomorrow I will take care of that issue. Yes, I know I could've done this better tomorrow is always another chance to do it better don't dwell. Sleep will help do better tomorrow, I should sleep now. But more and more I can't sleep. I am down to about 5-6 hours a night usually by the time I finally fall out and sometimes, like this past night, sleep never came. It isn't right to be so tired and unable to sleep. ☹️
I am sorry. That sounds so awful. I've struggled with anxiety before too, just not quite like that. Have you tried things like maybe meditation before bed or falling asleep to relaxing music or sounds?
@@brighidmcmullen9577 I do use music as a distraction and for its soothing effects. I think I would be in worse shape if I didn't honestly. As time has gone by it has become less effective though. Similarly my husband would rub my head and that used to help me fall right out. It was heavenly! Then after a while I'd suddenly wake after falling asleep and the anxiety would begin it's cycle. By this point I don't ask often because I if it won't work it doesn't feel right to ask for it all the time. As to meditation I don't know how to meditate. I have tried apps about guided meditation and separately just kind of sitting and practicing breathing but it hasn't helped me sleep. Usually attempts at meditation are like trying to sleep As in my mind says "hey you aren't actively busy thinking about something? here comes the litany!" I should give meditation another try maybe I didn't do it at the right times or long enough to work. I don't know what even would be long enough. A few weeks wasn't and then I'd give up. Thank you for your kind suggestions. I hope your own struggles have improved and you are well. 🙂
Sometimes my brain won't let go of stuff at bedtime so I write it down, if I write myself a note to "do X tomorrow", that way I know I won't forget about X overnight so I can quit worrying about it, plus sometimes the action of physically writing it down gets it out of my mind long enough to spool down for sleep. But it sounds like you might need to talk to a professional.
I have anxiety and my husband has anger issues. I've noticed that my anxiety makes him angry (because he doesn't and can't control my triggers or make it better when I'm triggered so he gets mad at me for being anxious) and on the flip side his anger makes me anxious (for the same reasons. I can't control my triggers or make it better when I"m triggered so I get scared of him for being angry). This is also true when he is triggered (I get scared because I can't control his triggers to make it better). So when these two mental/emotional health issues feed off each other I'm not sure what to do. Because I know that I take up the majority of the emotional space when I'm anxious. But am I supposed to make room for his anger the same way he makes room for my anxiety? I see them as the same with different outcomes. My anxiety is me lashing out inward...and his anger is him lashing out outward. And I see his anger as more destructive because it lashes out to everyone and everything and himself. I know that my anxiety is also destructive in that I lash inward which makes me less emotionally available to others. So this can be a form of abandonment or neglect. So I can see why my anxiety is also a problem. What do you recommend when a couple has dueling mental health issues? And if emotions are netral which one is less healthy anxiety or anger? What tips do you have for people who love someone with anger issues?
Hey! I'm not a parent but I'd be really interested in hearing your suggestions on how to heal the relationship with one's children after realizing oneself (as a parent) was controlling towards their kids!
So once I got really angry at a family member through text and I got so upset, I actually started hyperventilating. I was at my boyfriend’s, now my fiance's, place and it scared the crap out of him. I'm pretty sure he was seconds away from calling 911. Anyway, I felt my hands start tingling from the overdose of oxygen in my bloodstream and knew that would only get worse if it didn't stop. I suddenly remembered a scene in a show where a character was having a panic attack and another character kissed them which caused them to hold their breath and stopped the panic attack. So I covered my mouth and nose with both hands and forced myself to hold my breath until my lungs started to feel uncomfortable. Then I tried to take a few normal breaths. It was better, but I was still hyperventilating a little so I did it again. After the second time, I was able to control my breathing again. I was shaking violently though and felt nauseous. My fiance made me some hot chocolate and sat with me and that helped calm me down the rest of the way. This probably seems like a really strange solution, but it worked.
I've only ever had one true anxiety attack, but I've had horrible, powerful anxiety for as long as I can remember in regards to absolutely anything that doesn't fit snuggly into my safe zone (a very small space, i assure you). I'm so, so unused to people understanding my anxiety and not judging that I'm in tears right now.
I’m very similar. I’ve only had one true anxiety attack, but I panic all the time and no one else understands why I can’t breathe or sit down!
I come from a family were they (at least my dad) does not or at least did not believe it was real. I was told to "man up" stop looking for attention and just get over it. All I've ever wanted is to be seen and today you have done that. Thank you.
That’s awful. My mom is a big fan of saying there’s things you just have to deal with. No excuses, just deal because you need to. Yet my dad once told me about the time she had a panic attack and they had to leave a party… I shouldn’t enjoy that but I kinda do. I wish parents would learn to accept themselves and use that to help their kids.
In some sense I was lucky enough to have family who wanted to get me the help I needed so I was diagnosed with clinical anxiety at the age of 10. At that point I was having full blown can't breath, world closing in panic attacks over the idea of such small things like changing clothes. The thought of changing clothes.
These days I can see the smaller signs of anxiety taking hold and I can calm myself down and bring myself back to reality before things get to bad but I'll still have "flare ups" when the world suddenly becomes a very scary place mentally.
Over the years I've managed to explain the more severe attacks to people in 2 ways.
For me panic attacks are your typical world closing in, can't breath, feeling like you're going to die panic attack. The attack people can physically see you experiencing.
An anxiety attack for me is different. It's all mental. Illogical thoughts, mind racing, not thinking straight. A kind of blind panic. An example of thing is one day my dad came home from work, he was sore and a little grumpier than normal. Somehow my brain went straight to "I'm going to get kicked out, I'm going to be homeless, I need to start trying to find homes for my pets, sell unnecessary things" and I actually started searching for rescues to take on my pets. It was completely illogical. Dad had a bad day and mentally my world was ending but externally, I seemed somewhat ok.
One of the worst parts for me was coming out the other side. When I looked back at how illogical I was being, sometimes even in the moment I knew and couldn't do anything about it.
Anyway, thank you for this video. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that you aren't insane 😂
What are ways to talk/guide a friend through an anxiety attack? I have two friends that suffer panic attacks; they've never had them in front of me, but ya know, I'd want to be ready to go with knowing more than not telling them to calm down as their body runs a literal heart attack simulation.
I've had multiple panic attacks before and I would say your first thing to do is to take them to a safe place. My safe place is outside/in nature for example. Closed places make me suffocate, especially crowded places. Definately don't touch them unless they are normally fine with it since panic attacks may come from past trauma. Focus on calming them down or distracting them. Making them talk to you about something completely different may be a good way of distracting. Remind them that it will pass, just like every other panic attack. Panic attacks usually take about 30 min and then they completely disappear, so by doing those things they will be fine.
The only thing I need when I have one is a clear path to a place where I can sit & lean against something safely … the closer the better. (I don’t want to fall if I get dizzy or my legs don’t want to support me) Eventually, the initial panic will subside & I’ll be able to communicate/do more, but at the beginning, if I’m not sitting & supported, I’m likely to pass out.
I also say avoid touching in general. I have no trauma, but I find it incredibly overwhelming.
Not an expert, but I’ve had a couple anxiety attacks. Having a “safe” place to escape to is important. For me, it was always somewhere isolated because I didn’t want people to see me melting down. Being reassured that my fears were not reality is ultimately what helped get me through it. But I’ve never had someone reach out to me during one, it was always the other way around. Since I talked to them through discord, most of them didn’t even know what was happening until later. I readily open up because getting information helps me feel like I’m regaining some control. I’m not sure what might help for people who don’t open up so readily.
Oh my god! That’s the greatest and most sincerely wholesome question ever. My girlfriend has panic attacks and I’ve looked exactly this up multiple times. Sadly, my memory isn’t great, but I think the other responses have been clear and consistent enough already.
I have to say, I’ve had some myself as well, but not often.
Mine have been in crowded places too, though not necessarily inside. I personally feel safer in a small, closed space with few people than outside in a crowd. My girlfriend definitely has them in crowds too, but also when there’s other stresses on her mind and she gets touched unexpectedly from behind. It’s of course to do with trauma, so keep that in mind. DEFINITELY the thing to do, as the others have said is make sure they can feel calm and safe. Be a candle they can focus on that leads them to a safe place. Then ask them if they want you to talk about it with them or if they want you to talk about something completely random. Talk slowly, don’t act worried, just confident that everything will be fine eventually, they’ll believe it if you show that you do. You’re not lying either, it will be fine. I remember reading that you shouldn’t tell them it’ll be fine, but my girlfriend completely disagrees. It helps her a lot when I say it, so…well…it’s a coin flip. If they want you to talk about something random, tell them about literally anything that isn’t stressful. If they often worry about themselves, it’s alright to give them genuine compliments, but not too many, just tell them about a good trait they often overlook.
If they want to talk about what they’re anxious about (which I think they often don’t), just listen and point out when they might be overselling themselves (without interrupting them too much).
It all sounds complicated, but it isn’t. Just bring safety into the moment. They’re your friend. Be that. They like you because you’re the person that comments what you commented on a youtube video. Be you; help them get to safety; show them they’re not bothering you by worrying you, in stead show them you’re confident that it’ll be okay; ask them (perhaps not making it an open question) if they want you to talk about something random or if they want to let it out. Be calm, be confident that they’re safe, be you. You’ve got this. They’ll be lucky you’re there if it were to happen.
Also, sorry for the long reply. 😅
I had no idea I was having anxiety until i stopped being able to fall asleep. Took years after that even to realize my first panic attack was in early childhood - because my entire childhood was peppered with all the avoidance symptoms. Learning to live with anxiety... it's a good day/week/month if i don't constantly have the sensation like i'm drowning
I never knew there was a difference between anxiety and anxiousness. Thank you.
I tend to be quite neurotic and used to regularly have anxiety attacks. They would happen at the most inconvenient times- During work, when I'm out with a group of acquaintances and such. I spoke with a therapist and fortunately was able to pinpoint the major sources of the episodes. It came down to 2 factors that called for me to make some life changes so I could care for myself. These days I still get quite anxious, I feel like that's always going to be there- but I am able to manage it better than before. There are times when I feel myself starting to spiral, but I can catch myself before it goes out of control.
How did you manage it? Like what skills do you use?
I was once tasked with teaching a group of kids about technical theatre as part of my college course, everything was absolutely fine until I introduced myself and I just froze, I managed to turn around to my class mate and say help but couldn't get another word out. One of the kids' teachers walked me outside and sat me down so I could get some fresh air on my own.
I have a lot anxiety. Even if I know things are going well for me there’s always something my mind focuses on and stresses about constantly. It’s sometimes difficult to turn off. I’m also a perfectionist and like to have control, consistency and security. I’m dealing with this better as I age as I’m more willing to accept that things can’t always be perfect and can often be beyond my control. But the anxiety is still there. I had a therapist that never truly helped me regarding this issue. I’m still trying to find the right one.
This hits in a way, even more than before. I deal with anxiety, and the meds aren't helping currently. It's making me try to control things to make it so it can work, making things worse. And the stupid part is that my brain wants me to just give up, not work on ways to fix this, even though I know full well it's not that hard to fix. As for my anxiety attack? Once as a teen, never again please. Not once
I learned that I had to have a certain amount of acceptance. I’d feel one coming on and tense up, trying to fight it. It only fueled it. It’s like a bully… the more you react, the more they torment you. So I recognized that these may return, but that I could get through it. It’s not something you want to accept, but it’s helped me, at least. Also that catching myself when stress was compounding and sorting through all those sources of stress to weed out what I could, well… it’s a great preventive.
I know how you feel. As an adult now I wish I wasn't medicated as a teen. I wish I was shown coping techniques and had met my therapist back then.
Besides processing my trauma and going to the gym a few times a week the next best thing was time.
As unhelpful as this sounds for right now......each year I learn myself more and research more therapy topics on RUclips and figure out more in therapy. Plus I think it's true that the older you get the less you sweat things.
I wouldn't ever want to go back to being a grade schooler though. I don't care how old I am. It gets better when you have the options of an adult and the ability to choose where you spend 8+ hours a day making a living.
@3:49 This is the first time I realized that I have had many panic attacks. I've let other people, myself include, gaslight me into believing I was exaggerating or misunderstanding events. In this past year or two, I realized that I'm not just anxious, but I have chronic anxiety tied back to events in my childhood. I've heard friends describe panic attacks before; but because anxiety wasn't a possible symptom of mine, descriptions of panic attacks never resonated with me.
If I hadn't had a panic attack this summer plus watching this video, I can't imagine when I would have found out.
When I'm at night I sometimes think that life is so hard for me, I simply do not think about it on the daily basis but when I stop and check myself out I say "why life is so difficult, why I feel so troubled to do simple things all the time" and I get sick of just thinking the way I do and being the way I am. But I feel guilty because my life is so good, I have so many privileges and I don't know if I have some mental illness so I feel bad for not standing life although nothing bad is happening in my life.
Jono: 'I never had an anxiety attack until I was 40 years old ... I went roughly half my life before I had one.'
You look pretty spry for an 80-year old!
How do you know if you're experiencing a bout of anxiety, you actually have anxiety, or you may have high-functioning anxiety instead? While I have never been mentally prevented from leaving bed or something, I only do it because I *have to*, because people are counting on me to do so. Somehow I always find the discipline to do it, even at times when I shouldn't (i.e., personal sacrifices that generate resentment for others, etc.). This has been going on solidly for at least a year, so I don't think it's situational, but I also don't think I qualify under a general anxiety disorder either?
It’s a good idea to speak to your doctor or a therapist if you’re struggling, even if you don’t think it’s bad enough to be diagnosable. When I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I was still a successful engineering student. My social life though…. It was a mess. It’s also better to get help before it gets worse. For me, my depression was a result of untreated anxiety.
If you’re not the way you used to be and it’s not in a good way, you don’t need to prove it’s bad enough to be worth fixing. If you’re struggling with life, with doing things you used to do without struggle, there’s no harm or shame in asking for help. You aren’t taking something you don’t deserve. You’re recognizing you need some guidance. Even if that guidance helps you learn to handle those tricky situations and lighten your load and things get better, isn’t that worth trying?
I just had a long rant about the bad therapy I’ve had, but I can also tell you that the best therapist I ever had was someone who was just helping me and my husband learn to raise our kids by understanding them better. It improved our lives and theirs.
@@BeeWhistler thank you for saying this. I don’t know to what level I might be diagnosed with anxiety, but I know it’s a constant for me, and that I stop myself from doing things because of it.
Right now I’ve been fighting a mental block of knowing even without insurance I could probably afford it, but also fearing that it won’t fix me, or that I’ll have spent the money and then something financially big will happen and that money could have been used elsewhere.
I’ve been contemplating taking the first step for a few months now, but still have yet to actually look for therapist in my area…
But I have to remind myself that I am worth helping, and that even one step towards improvement is a step closer to living a life without fearing the negative.
I have a question. I've been suffering with severe symptoms of anxiety to the point where I'll have several anxiety attacks over the course of a single day or I get completely crippled and can't make myself do anything. Some days I can barely get out of bed to face the world cause I'm so anxious. Basically everything about anxiety you described in this episode is how I feel consistently. Now, the problem is my mother refuses to think that something is wrong with me. she calls it me "freaking out" or "being dramatic" or "being lazy". So... I guess my question is, how do I get her to listen to me so that I can get help??? I want to get help but I don't know how to get her to listen to me
I hope they answer this. Parents don’t want to think their kids are unhappy but it’s no excuse for ignoring symptoms of struggle. Too many people like to dismiss the feelings of younger folks and it’s incredibly frustrating. And I wish I knew how to convince her, but I haven’t had much success in that area. It’s so hard when you’re at the mercy of someone who doesn’t want to see the truth. Maybe a school psychologist speaking to her, if you’re still in school? But that doesn’t help over the summer…
Society does sometimes shame physical illness as well as mental. I remember a coworker hassling me for being slow on the stairs. The next month I was using a cane and his mental perception of my illness did a 180 and he suddenly was concerned about me overdoing it and maybe I should take the elevator. I was moving better because I was getting help from the cane, not worse...
Mental illness is even harder to understand than invisible physical illness.
I would like you to talk about how to tell if your therapist isn’t up to the task. How do you tell, without wasting all your available funds first, that you are not going to be helped by this provider? I’ve given up on mental health care for myself but I want people here who may not have infinite cash to spend, to have a way to keep from burning through it all before being helped even a little.
See, y’all paint a starry-eyed picture of mental health care. And yes, you say it’s still gonna be hard, you aren’t lying from your perspective. And you may be very good at what you do, in which case the folks here have found their answer. But I have had exactly one good therapist in my 49 years, and he wasn’t dealing with my anxiety, he was helping us learn to handle our complicated kids… and he died several years ago.
My own story ia a couple of decades old. The ship has sailed. The “help” I was offered was faulty. I struggled as a child and no one figured out why. I struggled as an adult and no one got it. I couldn’t concentrate in school, I couldn’t manage time or organization or social interaction. There are a few obvious diagnoses for this now, but then I was labeled “hyperactive” and “problem child” and “achieving below apparent ability.” AKA she’s (insert fault here), and if she’d just (insert fix here) she could be so successful.
I was always anxious, since I can remember, but the debilitating attacks started when I was in my early 20s. But the first of the big ones, the REAL ones, the ones that hit one day and would stay for weeks or months and make it hard to eat, sleep, drive… get out of bed… Those started when I was pregnant with my first kid. The day of the ultrasound. Too much reality, I guess.
I’d had therapy before without much success, over and over, people who didn’t seem to give a damn and who wrote the whole time while I talked. One even said I was intolerant and then went back to writing when I started defending myself. Terrible, just terrible. This level of quality went on until I didn’t really trust therapists anymore.
But what could I do? Sit every day and rock myself and cry? That’s what I’d been doing, but I was pregnant. I had to do something about this. So because medication was undesirable for obvious reasons, I got a referral to a therapist… one of the most incompetent yet. Some old man who would sit and smile and tell me, I kid you not, at the end of every session… to buy “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” As though he’d never said it before. He thought a coffee table book was gonna cure all my problems, and he couldn’t even remember he’d already suggested it on multiple occasions.
It’s not to say that learning to choose your battles is useless, but I was literally crippled by anxiety. It would attack first thing in the morning. I felt like something would get me if I got up. It was physically excruciating to rise from bed. I was terrified. Throughout the day it got slowly better until I felt okay at night and had to go to bed knowing it would return in the morning. If I was feeling better and thought, “What if I have a panic attack?” BAM! I’d have one. My life seemed to stretch out before me like a long, straight, gray road with no bends or turns or side avenues, straight to death.
But sure, let’s read this little book…
After my kid was born, the panic had subsided and instead I had post-partum depression but only maybe one more therapy session. I didn’t recognize the depression because it was so much less painful than the panic. You can comfort depression. There was no cozy corner to hide from the panic. And it’s not like he could have helped anyway.
The next time I had a panic attack, I didn’t bother with a therapist. I would never waste another dollar seeking professional help for the panic and anxiety. I searched online, read books (well, skimmed select chapters anyway), found ways to deal. I defused one oncoming attack by making a list of worries and sorting them by which could be addressed and which were a waste of effort. The rest of the attacks I rode out. I learned to say “calm” over and over. I learned to distract myself when I felt one tickling my sternum. I learned to be still and let it wash over like a wave, knowing there was no danger, and that it would pass, because they always do. They always do.
The last one I had was almost ten years ago. It lasted months. I lost 50 pounds. Fortunately I could spare it. Just the thought of losing some weight has actually defused a couple since then… I’m still too heavy, so… hey, anxiety? Great, I need to drop a few pounds. Point is, nine years ago I could barely eat so I made sure every bite counted. Whole grains, veg, chicken, simple clean complex carbs. Made me feel like I had some control even though every morning was a struggle and I couldn’t finish half a bagel and half my hair fell out (blessedly not all in one spot, and it grew back since then) because they weight dropped so quickly and my body went into crisis mode. But I was handling it. I was my own doctor. I was treating myself like a sick person, I was counting my spoons. And yeah, I prayed. A LOT.
Am I bragging? I think I’m condemning. I’m sharing what helped… and the deplorable fact that I had to figure it out without the professionals that are supposed to help people who are in crisis from within. I should not have been my own doctor, by all accounts. I was mentally ill! Someone else should have been the expert, not the sick person. It’s great to be able to handle it yourself but someone is supposed to guide you there, right? Prayer does a lot but there’s a reason God gave us Tylenol.
So tell us, please, no sarcasm on my part… how can other people make sure their money, considerably more since I last sought individual counseling, is well spent? How do they get help sooner, so that they can start succeeding sooner, and feel they aren’t alone? I don’t want other people to head down the path I did on the chance that they make a wrong turn into substance abuse or worse. There’s lots of things that stop the pain. Most of them won’t actually make things better.
I'm sorry you went through that, I'm glad you came out of it being able to manage your issues. I hope they touch on this too, have you been watching the $#!7 therapists say series?
I'm not sure whether I had anxiety or was just feeling anxious yesterday, but I was thinking about a lot of things in my life and I felt like I wanted to be left alone and felt my heart going. I managed to get on with what I was doing and now don't have to worry about as many things, only now I'm doing the doubting myself again by saying one minute that I had anxiety yesterday and then saying that I was just anxious. Watching this video made me think about it all and made me feel ok about it though.
Just remember… you don’t have to prove anything. You feel how you feel, whatever they call it. It’s in the anxiety family. Sometimes you just need a minute (or a day).
Luckily (more like "luckily") both my mother and sister have anxiety, so they helped me quite a lot. I wouldn't get through university without using some weaker medications before exams, otherwise I panicked and was absolutely unable to think off anything. What helped me was to make plans after exam, like no matter how it ends I'll have free afternoon for videogames and I'll go play dnd on weekend. Also not studying day before because even with medication I just can't push through, I'm just walking around room so I can breath and I can't focus on anything else.
Please react to "crazy ex-girlfriend", it's a show about mental illness and the point of view of that person.
It's a comedy and musical, Rachel bloom is the protagonist, co-creator, writer, and songwriter of this show.
She's amazing and the show is amazing! ❤
What about a constant steady flow of anxiety?
When I first had a panic attack it was one of the scariest experiences of my life I had just started a new job and at somepoint as I was walking there I got it in my head I was going to be late I wasn't but I didn't have any time to settle down before I started and I found that my hart was racing I couldn't catch my breath it was factory work so it was hard and demanding I struggled for about two hours before I gave up and went running out of the place not a good look I my add anyway I started to walk home about two hours later and I'm about 10 to 15 minutes up the road and all that was running through my brain was I've got to get home I can't get home as it goes I ran into someone I used to work with and they gave me a lift home it was honestly horrible And I wonder what would have happened If I hadn't ran In to my friend when I did
Has anyone here had issues with handling certain everyday objects, like certain clothes or foods, even routines? Like fear of something happening has kept you from it/doing normal things? That is how my anxiety manifests.
When I have a sudden surge in anxiety I curse my self or say whatever word is in my mind out loud.
So the only anxiety attack I've ever had was pretty much entirely physiological and without actual anxiety setting it off, which is why I didn't realize that's what it had been until months later when I realized "anxiety" was listed as a side effect of the substance that had caused it and how it had affected one or two of my friends in a similar fashion, and talked to a friend who's been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder about what physically happens, and had an "Ohhhh, THAT's what that was!" moment. I thought I was having a heart incident, major allergic reaction or severe asthma attack and legit was gonna die, only my husband keeping track of my pulse kept me from calling 9-1-1... I get the intrusive thoughts that ruin my mood and occasionally my sleep (as I suspect most people do at least occasionally) but aside from that I usually only get general stress which usually tends to just make me irritable. I know when I start screaming at traffic for being traffic, I need more vitamin D and some downtime, and if I scream at people in public (which happened a few times during pandemic lockdown shopping), I don't go out into public areas for a week.
I really feel for the people who suffer through these regularly, they're terrifying on their own, nevermind whatever anxiety brought it on. My friend talked me through what he does to head his attacks off (he runs through a set of tactile exercises to ground himself back to reality), but sometimes he just describes it as a great big NOPE on the door that doesn't let him leave the house and some days even the medication doesn't get him through the NOPE. I hope everyone can find what works for them and be able to communicate it to those close to them, I hope I never experience another attack and I hope the same for all who suffer from this. Medication isn't "cheating", it's management. Do what you need to do.
My only question is how do I function when my anxiety is being caused by the thought of failing schoolwork, which happens to be very paralyzing and not doing schoolwork only makes it worse. I’ve thought I’ve had ADHD, anxiety, and depression in the past but I think after this video it’s maybe just more anxiety that is leaching into other areas of my life. I’ve got so much going on and so much that I’m struggling with that I’m also afraid to think about going to a mental health care professional because I should be working on things I’m behind on.
I get panic attacks on a semi-regular basis. I have developed a few techniques to deal with them.
#1) I sing. It might seem weird, but it is quite hard to hyperventilate while singing/humming
#2) This one is a bit scary, but I actively try to make it worse. I think this works because I am facing it instead of hiding from it.
I have a question!! How to find balance in your dating life! I always seem to get into relationships that end up taking time away from things I need to do. Or I end up incredibly stressed even though the person I am with isn’t abusive in any way. I know it’s something you have to navigate within each relationship individually, but any tips for how to establish those boundaries and open communication early on?
#askatherapist
I know i have anxiety cause I was scared to click on this video In fear of being triggerd. I still haven't watched the whole thing yet....
Same!!
Thank you so much for this thoughtful question,and thank you all for your responses.
empathy burnout and compassion fatigue. What are their differences and how/why is it hard to heal from them when you are taking care of a person who needs it?
Id love a video on being a spouse or parent of depressed/ptsd/anxious people
Oh, so this is anxiety? It isn't normal? I thought everyone felt like this all the time...
Please react to comedians talking about mental health, Taylor Tomlinson has bipolar and she talks a lot about this
I have health anxiety I think I have cancer and I dont. I check my body for symptoms of cancer and when I find one symptom of cancer I think I’m dying. It is so terrifying I’m even on meds for it. Every doctor I’ve had knows I have anxiety. I think they should treat mental health issues like physical health issues. Been hospitalized because of anxiety twice.
Why does a cup of coffee reduce my anxiety significantly?
Being a guy with ADHD I understand the other stimulant effects that help. I just really love the temporary positive mood shift. I can see why some people drink it every day.
Thank you for the video. Could you maybe talk about the topic of keeping it together during vvar? Many people are now experiencing mixed emotions, unable to leave the traumatic situation. What can you do to help yourself survive?
Great suggestion!
I am pretty sure I have anxiety and that it is getting worse. (Whoops hit enter too soon.) I am usually okayish by day. My anxiety dials it up to 100 at night though. I can be terribly exhausted, literally falling asleep on the couch or into he middle of an activity and then the instant my head hits the pillow bam! Here is what you are doing wrong, what needs doing tomorrow or next week or what you have should have done before now. My heart races, my breathing gets out of control, and my mind just won't let go even if I run down logical responses to it like:. Yes tomorrow I will take care of that issue. Yes, I know I could've done this better tomorrow is always another chance to do it better don't dwell. Sleep will help do better tomorrow, I should sleep now. But more and more I can't sleep. I am down to about 5-6 hours a night usually by the time I finally fall out and sometimes, like this past night, sleep never came. It isn't right to be so tired and unable to sleep. ☹️
I am sorry. That sounds so awful. I've struggled with anxiety before too, just not quite like that. Have you tried things like maybe meditation before bed or falling asleep to relaxing music or sounds?
@@brighidmcmullen9577 I do use music as a distraction and for its soothing effects. I think I would be in worse shape if I didn't honestly. As time has gone by it has become less effective though. Similarly my husband would rub my head and that used to help me fall right out. It was heavenly! Then after a while I'd suddenly wake after falling asleep and the anxiety would begin it's cycle. By this point I don't ask often because I if it won't work it doesn't feel right to ask for it all the time. As to meditation I don't know how to meditate. I have tried apps about guided meditation and separately just kind of sitting and practicing breathing but it hasn't helped me sleep. Usually attempts at meditation are like trying to sleep
As in my mind says "hey you aren't actively busy thinking about something? here comes the litany!" I should give meditation another try maybe I didn't do it at the right times or long enough to work. I don't know what even would be long enough. A few weeks wasn't and then I'd give up. Thank you for your kind suggestions. I hope your own struggles have improved and you are well. 🙂
Sometimes my brain won't let go of stuff at bedtime so I write it down, if I write myself a note to "do X tomorrow", that way I know I won't forget about X overnight so I can quit worrying about it, plus sometimes the action of physically writing it down gets it out of my mind long enough to spool down for sleep. But it sounds like you might need to talk to a professional.
I have anxiety and my husband has anger issues. I've noticed that my anxiety makes him angry (because he doesn't and can't control my triggers or make it better when I'm triggered so he gets mad at me for being anxious) and on the flip side his anger makes me anxious (for the same reasons. I can't control my triggers or make it better when I"m triggered so I get scared of him for being angry). This is also true when he is triggered (I get scared because I can't control his triggers to make it better). So when these two mental/emotional health issues feed off each other I'm not sure what to do. Because I know that I take up the majority of the emotional space when I'm anxious. But am I supposed to make room for his anger the same way he makes room for my anxiety? I see them as the same with different outcomes. My anxiety is me lashing out inward...and his anger is him lashing out outward. And I see his anger as more destructive because it lashes out to everyone and everything and himself. I know that my anxiety is also destructive in that I lash inward which makes me less emotionally available to others. So this can be a form of abandonment or neglect. So I can see why my anxiety is also a problem. What do you recommend when a couple has dueling mental health issues? And if emotions are netral which one is less healthy anxiety or anger? What tips do you have for people who love someone with anger issues?
It depends on if it enmobilizes
you or not.
73.9 thousand to be exact chase
Hey! I'm not a parent but I'd be really interested in hearing your suggestions on how to heal the relationship with one's children after realizing oneself (as a parent) was controlling towards their kids!
The opening sketch was so funny
me 100%
My son is 6. he has found me in panic attack mode a few times. Being a single mom was REALLY hard.
My family does not get it.
The booming intro on a video about anxiety is peak
The title giving me anxiety…yeah, yeah I do lol
I have trauma and would love to see you explain the difference types of trauma.
So once I got really angry at a family member through text and I got so upset, I actually started hyperventilating. I was at my boyfriend’s, now my fiance's, place and it scared the crap out of him. I'm pretty sure he was seconds away from calling 911. Anyway, I felt my hands start tingling from the overdose of oxygen in my bloodstream and knew that would only get worse if it didn't stop. I suddenly remembered a scene in a show where a character was having a panic attack and another character kissed them which caused them to hold their breath and stopped the panic attack. So I covered my mouth and nose with both hands and forced myself to hold my breath until my lungs started to feel uncomfortable. Then I tried to take a few normal breaths. It was better, but I was still hyperventilating a little so I did it again. After the second time, I was able to control my breathing again. I was shaking violently though and felt nauseous. My fiance made me some hot chocolate and sat with me and that helped calm me down the rest of the way. This probably seems like a really strange solution, but it worked.
Actually, that makes a lot of sense.
great example
Today of all days
If you don't feel anxiety, you're cured.
😄
Just wondered what Transference and Countertransference were, especially in terms of therapy or psychoanalysis. And is it good or bad or both?
Can you do a Homelander (From the boys) grts therapized pleaaase?
video imported in my trilingual head.
Lol, that’s me every 3 weeks
My question for the therapists: How do I _support_ someone with anxiety, especially when many of my attempts seem to backfire?
Recognize that it's not your job to fix it. It's your job to make sure that they don't suffer alone.
Wenn man sieben Jahre nur da sitzt und beobachtet und nicht nachfragt ob due Annahme richtig sein könnte! Ja😳🥺🥺
Wie geht's euch?
❤️
Wenn die Faulheit mit Überlegenheit verwechselen ist das nicht mein Problem Herr Therapeut.😘
I can't work. I can't have a relationship. I don't find a therapy place.
Trausch dich doch eh nicht näher zu kommen als aus der Distanz zu analysieren warum ich da so still sitze 😇🤯😳😏😘