Great Expectations
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- How Many of our disappointments in life are brought about by our own unreasonable expectations? This evening we just have a little chat discussing how we can avoid the pitfalls of anger and disappointment and depression, in our life by tempering our expectations of what lies ahead.
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This is what an influencer ought to be.
exactly
💯💯💯👌🏼 couldn’t have said it any better.
Agreed 👍
Facts. Can’t stop watching Dwayne, he’s having such a huge influence in my life.
Yes!
He always seems to know when we need him most. His last few videos have really been on the mark with what I’ve been dealing with. Helps a lot.
no kidding. This dude... well he's not the guy we deserve but he's the guy we need.
facts!
he talks about things which are always relevant. That's why it seems the timing is just right.
The Narrator. Hes the Narrator.
true!
Every time you say "maybe somebody needed to hear that," just know that you're right.
Agreed! Whole-heartedly.
A wise man with incredible insight.
Indeed
Do you know how old he is? Just curious.
@@christopherru100 he has mentioned it in a video or two. I believe he’s in his 50’s
he's been through it and traveled many a city
okay, I won't have too high expectations, but I refuse to have none at all..
My grandmother once said that A happy life was achieved by wanting the Things you got, not getting the things you want
That's even more profound that happiness is an inside job or love yourself first. I'm going to keep that one and discard the social media deal I picked up all throughout the 2010s.
Crap not deal.
Absolutely... Your grandmother is or was an extremely wise person. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
Love this, thank you.
She has been reading Epictetus, good on her
This man doesn't miss. These are the kind of guys we need to be listening to and aspiring to be like.
To hell with Andrew Jones or whatever that bald skinny head dude is called
Thank you. You're right. I'm 26 and lonely. I have a good salary, lift weights, dress pretty well. I expected that I was finally ready to date based on the person I thought I had become. I met this girl at the gym, and built some rapport. We had so many things in common. I finally asked for her number and took her on smoothie date. It was going so well at first that I asked if she wanted to hike the next day. She said what a nice time she had and was looking forward to the next date. My expectations were so high. My bliss was so high. I thought it was my turn. Then after the hike, she said that she didn't want to lead me on into thinking we could hang out a lot because she was going to probably leave the area for graduate school and not go to graduate school in the area. I know I must have gone overboard and smothered her due to inexperience because my expectations were so high. I felt dead emptiness and reacted poorly to seeing her at the gym (just ignored her and tried to pretend she wasn't there). I don't think that was kind of me. Sadly, I know that explaining myself to her wouldn't go anywhere, but I could at least be courteous next time. Long story, but I need to drop my expectations just as you're saying.
better be alone and at peace with your own mind, free of expectations and thinking about what others might think of you (thd girl), than being a prisoner of those thoughts. And don’t forget, the things that are destined for you will always turn up. Always.
You did good, don’t even expect expectations if that makes sense or cents, just do you bro, things will come
good on her for not leading you on and good on you for realising and taking accountability. both things are very important
I'm a 30 yr old husband and father of 3. Moving the wife and kids to a off grid home on about 25 acres up here in Nova Scotia.
I fell in the category of young men who were lost. Personal responsibility and good guidance has got me where I am today. I thank you for the guidance. Never touched a horse but I'll be having a newfoundland pony to clear about 5 acres by hand. Gonna trust the process, keep it up. Us young men need old men like you to teach us the way.
As a fellow Canadian you have my complete respect for where you've come from and where you're heading, stay the course and welcome any challenges. You'll be able to get up every morning, look in the mirror and know that you have created a quality life for your wife and children.
I am planning to go to Nova Scotia later this year to reconnect with my Mi'kmaq relatives. My great-grandmother was removed at age 6 so that part of our heritage was lost.
Tip: Dont get alot of animals, tedious caretaking, diseases, growing market for greens, etc. Spend that time with the family..
Check out Bad Chad customs in Canning Nova Scotia
You're resolution will carry you far. Just take the bad with the good and the good with the bad. Keep yourself well and you will overcome many thing should they happen!!
I started going through life with no expectations a few years ago, and it's made my life 100% better, I couldn't agree more
I've said for a long time "if you set the bar just barely off the floor for everyday life, your day can hardly ever be ruined."
“The stress is so high because the expectation is so high”. Beautiful quote to learn that I can lower my stress. My intention now is to first, expect less of myself. Now I am studying psychology in babysteps and for the first time enjoy studying🙏 Thanks to the Alimighty who leads me to green pastures of which this channel is an example. I am sending blessings to all of you here🌻
Right there with you Dewayne.
At 61 I don't have time for "friends" that are not quality individuals and those that carry themselves with integrity.
But over the years I have learned to cut people slack (not excuse bad behavior), and take them as they are.
"Expectations" can be a mental trap you can never escape from and that leads to disappointment, as you've said.
“The days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations - well, I have really good days.” - Ray Wylie Hubbard
As a 24 year old man his videos help a lot, they provide me with guidance and peace, I can apply some of its wisdom to my own life challenges. Thank you Dewayne
Same here brotha! Wishing you the best in 2023🎉
Also 24 here. Agreed, this one was needed.
im 24 too
The destination is not the reward, the journey is the reward.
When you know who you are, you will see yourself in everyone.
I wish someone explained this to me when I was a kid. I learned the extra hard way.
"Keep your expectations low and you will never be disappointed."
- Kratos, God of War
~Dewayne, God of Wisdom
Greetings from Ireland. You are a very wise man. Love listening to you. Thanks.
I'm 47 now and I learned this long ago. My wife asks me why I am so negative about things. I'm not negative. I am a realist. I don't expect anything. When things go bad it doesn't bother me much because I don't expect much. When great things happen I get so excited. Because I didn't expect it. I've learned long ago just wait to see what happens.
The problem is that when you are young and get everything from your parents you are going to have such large expectations in life that nobody can fulfil them.
Hey, I just wanna thank you. I’ve had the worst day today and I feel like this applied directly to me. I’m taking this to heart
Head up champ! Never down, always up 👍🏻
Sorry to hear that. I hope this morning was somehow incrementally better. One day at time.
Same. Couple days ago i got so disappointed by a sever people within a span of 48 hours and it ruined half of my week. This was what I needed.
Hope your better now!
I'm 44 years old. Absolutely love watching this guys videos. Very smart and the wisdom shows.
I'm a senior in college almost done 3 classes to go and I needed to hear this...I really need to adjust my perspective and just think about the journey and be grateful for the opportunity. Thanks for your wisdom!
I appreciate you sharing your life's experiences. I'm 66yrs old & I agree with everything you say. Thank you!
When did u get your house/apartment I’m just surprised that my brother is 27 and been working various jobs hardware store mcdonalds daycare and I thought he would’ve he saves enough I don’t wanna take that long to get my own. He’s always questioning when am I going to get this and this I have an idea of what I want. It’s the stress of not having a good boss and dealing with coworkers
@@jessecarlson9529 I was 26, worked FT since 17yrs old. I was an admin/paralegal for Sara Lee for 9yrs & moved onto law firms. My boss for those 9yrs was a certified POS. I put up with it for the money & the friends I had made.
@@jessecarlson9529I personally recommend moving to an area that has low cost of living. That’s the biggest thing. It’s helped me out a lot.
Damn this really hit home for me. Been struggling with this for a while and tend to get very hard on myself if things don’t pan out the way I picture in my head. This video was very helpful and appreciate the wisdom.
I'm almost 70. And have learned a few things from this Wiseman.
It's strange, y'know. It feels like right when I'm dealing with a problem, this man releases a video talking about something that seems unrelated to what I'm going through. But when I sit and listen to it, I mean REALLY listen and think on what he's saying, it explains exactly what's wrong. These videos are a blessing, truly.
I'm just a 23 yo girl but when you talked about approaching life like its a hallmark movie it hited me so hard because i've been living in that expectation for more than 7 years of my life, expecting it to be such a beautiful and soft future, and all i gained from that was disappointment. And its so hard to let it go of that view because i feel like if i leave those expectations, my dreams will not come true... and to accept life as it is right now is such a hard thing to do, because its not good. Living has been a torment. So i get divided by these thoughts :(
Accepting things as they truly are does not mean that you have to give up on your dreams. I think reducing ones expectations actually softens the blow of reality. I've always told myself, hope for the best and prepare for the worst. It's not irrational or wrong to consider what possibilities the future might hold, but you can't live in the future and the present at the same time. It takes many, many years, perhaps even a lifetime, to accomplish the things you aspire to. There will be years of torment, and there will be years of rejoicing. Life is not supposed to "be" any particular way. We have to play the cards we are dealt, and hope for the best. 23 is very young, you have so much time to figure things out. I hope you are able to find some peace soon.
I think he doesn't mean to expect to be disappointed or expect that dreams won't come true, he just means don't presume enough to think you know how it will turn out, as that only causes misery and confusion.
Be adventurous and not naively (even if sub consciously) expect that life will play out like you think it will. It's difficult to switch things like that, still, nothing changes until we try to change it.
Have unwavering belief in yourself without a hint of entitlement, very difficult balance to strike but a necessary one.
Just got done working my ass off, 15 hour day and just sat on my couch looking so forward to this :) this is the highlight of my day dewayne talking about life in general
Man I’ve had those days. Tough. Longest day I ever worked was either 22 or 23 hours.
My average day is 12 hours quite often 7 days a week,just keep doing it and banging it out while it's still available and while you still can.
Those are some long hours, keep it up y’all 👊
@@macksmith6694 coming back here because what I thought was gonna be a leisurely week turned into a tough 60 hour week. Man these hours get rough on me.
38 and in a place where everything is falling apart, this 100% nails three our four things that just aren't working right now. Wish I heard this a decade ago.
Yes sir. It’s easy to get caught up in expectations, best to just go with the flow and take em as they come!!! 💪🇺🇸💯
I am 26 years old man and I needed these answers so bad. Whenever I am confused I come to your videos and I find my answers. I am blessed to have a voice like you in my life. I have changed so much little by little taking your words to heart and I am so much ahead from the depressed bottom I was at man was I down but not anymore.
This channel is indeed great. Hopefully the gospel of Jesus christ can also provide guidance for you
👏🏾 I’m beginning to feel guilty about how much I look forward to Dewayne’s videos. This is one of the only men that my husband doesn’t mind me and our son listening to💙
Thank you for your podcasts and videos Dwayne We appreciate the time that you spend for us
Dewayne, what a God send you are. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences with us in such a warm and very effective manner. 🙏
The Word of The Most High is an excellent base line & foundational point for establishing expectations of this life
Thank you once again my good sir, for your sophisticated "old school" teachings. I developed low expectations of others but high expectations of myself through life experience. I don't get let down that way for better or worse. I'm responsible for my hapiness, no one else. I've become very independant as a result of having "great expectation" of others in the past. I know I won't let myself down. I live life on an even keel. I don't get too high or too low. Sounds boring and perhaps is, but I feel better overall as opposed to riding the extreme rollorcoaster of emotions.
This guy knows the seceret and meaning to life, love your videos, every single one of them resonates with me and by the looks of it, all your other viewers. You are literally the most real and wise person on the whole of RUclips, you deserve a medal. Keep up your good work and spreading your wisdom and helping people like me look at our own problems differently.
My dad always said that some people believe life is a playground, when in reality it is a battleground. For those playground people, they experience much more disappointment and pain because they have an inaccurate view of things. Going into life knowing it is a battleground makes it all so much easier. Great stuff.
I’ve had to actually live life off of scraped knuckles and bared teeth. You’re so dead wrong about life that I’m sad for you. Things can get so dark so quickly that living life with that expectation leaves no light. You’re stronger than that, don’t let the candle burn out.
Eh, wrong sentiment, the cowboy dad is right but you chose the wrong words
Life is both a playground and a battleground. It both allows us to relax and enjoy it at times, and at other times it also holds us unavoidably and undeniably accountable by the consequences of our actions. Life is too short to either only play or only battle; We must learn how to handle a balance of play and battle within our own lives, so that both sides are as enjoyable and as fulfilling as possible.
Caveat: I haven't watched the full video yet, so I might miss some crucial information.
My first response: a playground doesn't mean you can't get hurt. There's risks and difficulties, physically, socially and emotionally. Just because you will encounter situations and people you struggle with doesn't make it a battleground. Life can be difficult as is. For me the battleground metaphor adds this dimension of being actively targetted. I don't see how that's constructive or helpful in any way.
Maybe a middleground between playground and battlefield can be an obstacle course. It has the element of adversity. Added benefit (for me at least): the immediate awareness there might be obstacles I can't do alone, or on the first try.
@@123Mathzak I was about to write a similar response, but then I saw your comment. I agree 💯%.
I wished that I had heard this when I was 19, I'm so grateful for you being here to tell everyone the wisdom & knowledge you do good Sir DeWayne at Wrangler school.
Sincerely, ~Paul
I from from a little village in Poland (Europe) and I really appreciate your thoughts about life. I am very grateful. I feel like I got advice from my father (who I don't have). Have a nice day.
I needed this, going into an interview tomorrow after 15 years with my old company... I started to create unrealistic expectations in my mind about what the new job could be, but this reminded me to go in humble and with no expectations so I'm not disappointed if things go south. Thank you.
Good luck brotha wish you the best
I think it is great your sponsor items are at the end of the video. I find that pretty cool and shows how much pride you have in your content.
Just the video I needed at the time I needed it, I'm going through a lonely stage because I walked away from people I consider toxic in my life, I had expectations placed on these people that were never met. I've been training my body with calisthenics and weights for about 6 months and going out for a run every day, and I don't see big changes, maybe they're there, but my expectations don't let me see them, because of these expectations I live with fits of rage and a lot of anger accumulated, I'm going to work on it, I'm 19 years old and your videos help me a lot as a guide, it's nice to see you speaking with that calm, wisdom and honesty, thank you very much.
Hey I read ur comment and I realized I'm sorta going thru the same things. Just wanted to let u know to not over exert yourself with exercise and physical betterment needs to be paired with "internal" improvement as well! But you're here watching this video, so I'd say that's a pretty damn good step for personal improvement. It's about the changes inside!
Man just dropped some of the best knowledge of my life, followed with a "I don't know"
Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.
Unrealistic expectations has been an issue for me for a while now (long while). Thank you for helping to bring light to this!
Nowadays it's called Minimalism or going with the flow. It's better to accept things as they come and adapt to the situation accordingly. Live with what's necessary and you won't be burdened by expectations.
Hey Man, i just discovered you at 2 am, but you gave the best motivation and advice I've heard in so long.
I've heard the same ideas and thoughts from streamers and influencers, but most are in their luscious homes and rooms, all in their mid twenties and thirties. It never really hit home.
But seeing you relaxing on a lawn chair, no editing, with raw and pure thoughts straight from the heart. With looks and stories filled with experience, I feel like I can full take in everything with trust.
Thank you.
Greetings from Germany, glad i found your channel! You are spot on, thank you! I used to have expectations of others, jobs, etc. but as a 50 yr. I only have expectations of myself.
Thank you for this life lesson video. It's something that I do need to hear, since so many young people (including myself) can easily fall under the social pressure of unwise adults.
These are wise words. Just don’t lower your standards and get those confused with expectations.
This one hit close to home. I as well had high expectations the way I treated people and selfishly I expected in return. People call me their friend and how good of a friend I am but they're always too busy to go out for lunch or throw a ball around. They say they're always too busy but they're hanging out with the same group of friends without me. It caused depression and made me insecure. Exactly as you said sir I show up to my job to work and not make friends. They aren't paying my bills. Be the best and do the best you can. Be the man and let Noone bring you down by their bs. Everyone take care
Afternoon Dwayne, thanks for the video. Always enjoy seeing your face pop up in the feed.
Going through a tough period in the relationship where we’re giving one another time and space.
Big expectations have been the single biggest factor in my mood during this difficult time.
I’m learning that curbing my expectations doesn’t have to be a bad thing and it makes things hurt less, right now.
Every now and then we stumble upon some gold. This man is that gold.
I've learned not to make predictions the hard way. No prediction = no drama! helps me keep my peace.
Thank you very much for passing on the advice. This helped me calm down and better collect thoughts I was already having and helped me understand that I've been doing pretty good so far despite my own faults
I wish someone just told me this earlier (though I understand I'm still pretty young), to not sub consciously expect your life to play out like a movie, but be adventurous in your pursuits, instead of expecting things to work out say "Let's see what's around that corner", it's so simple but not doing this has caused me immense pain time and time again. If you have presumptions about a situation your judgement will be clouded and if your lofty expectations are not met you will suffer unnecessarily.
Brother you are spot on. So much emphasis is given to movies, books, and music as the guide to life; it's called fiction for a reason. Ideals are not the same as reality. Have a blessed day and a safe trip.
One thing my granddaddy always said was it's good to dream, but you have to follow through. You also have to be adaptable to life's bumps.
He also said God gives you the ingredients, but it's up to you to make the cake.
Damn man, this is called reframing in therapy, But this is the best way of explaining it I've ever personally heard.
13:01 Yeah... I needed to hear this. Your wisdom won't be taken for granted. Thank you.
Really what I needed to hear today. This won't be my last time watching. Thank you so much for your experience and wisdom.
I will never lower my expectations or my standards. However, I also live in the world of reality. I never expect anything more than what I would expect from myself. If things go south I walk away and most of time don’t look back. When I’m done, I’m done. I give more grace to people than they deserve, but there does come a point that I have no more grace to give. There’s a saying I kinda live by. “If I cut you out of my life, chances are you handed me the scissors” if I have something worth saying I say it. I was raised to be independent but I also am not afraid of asking for help or learning new things. But in this world there are only two people I rely on, and that is myself and God. I have learned if I don’t have confidence in myself no one else will either. Life is hard, it’s a daily struggle. The joy I find is few and far between but I am grateful for it. No one ever said life was gonna be easy, but they never said it was going to be this hard. I appreciate your wisdom and the exceptional ability you have of conveying your philosophies.
I agree that expectation management can reduce disappointment and take off the pressure, but, on the flipside, you can also set high expectations for yourself and it will give you energy and motivation on a daily basis. The danger is if you don't reach the expectations. But then again, you may reach higher if you expect higher even if you don't achieve 100%.
This is only for expectations of yourself, not others. Expecting little from others is probably a good bet.
I have smoked cigars 50 years. Watching you tought me the proper way. Tks much.
I most definitely needed to hear this, what an absolute blessing this channel has become, I praise the Lord for this channel this man is the definition of a good man, a wise man someone worthy of listening to.
For awhile now I felt like I needed to come back here and get some wisdom and I'm so happy that today I sat down to watch this one. Man, it's difficult to manage expectations when you are tired.
So here's my 2 cents to this one: if you are tired, you may develop higher expectations. If you do, prioritize yourself so that you can recover, so that you may save yourself from being disappointed. If you are worried about people not understanding, then trust in your relationships. Because if those people don't understand, then why have them in your life to begin with? We all get to be tired sometimes and that is normal. And I hope that this helps someone out there, who like me, felt like it isn't normal to be tired.
Dewayne, thank you for just simply putting your true self out there and pursuing your calling. A lot of folks need to be having these kinds of discussions more often - and at 27 years old, I've really needed to hear the things you talk about. I'm glad I can listen to you on Spotify now, great decision.
I work with horses in argentina.
Also my dad has given me the same Rudyard Kipling poem years ago, when I turn into 18 years old. I think good horse people is the same everywhere. I feel very much conected with all your videos eaven not beeing from the country side of the USA. Once we had a texan here, he came to buy some polo horses. He was just like us.. very similar mind set.
Needed to hear this. Thank you and God bless
A little late to the party on this video but man, this is good advice. It's timeless stuff coming from a man's man who seems to know very much what he's talking about. Thank you sir for taking time to give the rest of us some of your wisdom
"They didn't read the same books I read."😂 I've been there.
These videos are great, and I have to say I'm really enjoying the podcast lately. It's great for those of us that gotta drive long distances to work and whatnot. I thought it would be all repeated stuff or filler, but there's value there. Loved the one about Great Men vs Good Men. Cheers.
Mr Dewayne You are the jam Sir, absolutely addicted to your videos daily
Im 23 and a wife with 2 sons. And i love your videos. Helped me so much with my mindset and just wanting to be a better person all around. Thank you.
As a middle age man 40 lbs overweight- I needed to hear this. Thank you for the message
Greetings from Mississippi love the content you're touching not only your own race but blacks also
You and your wife are like the parents I never had. Thanks for sharing all of your wisdom.
I needed to hear this man because nowadays my expectations always get blown down. I'm learning I can't control as bad as I want to I can only control me and how I react to things. It's so hard to walk away when you know something could be so much better. I just subscribed as well.
Go back and watch a few more videos, it's an immersion that you may appreciate. I don't know your situation, but learning to stop trying to control is a valuable lesson. Sailboats don't control the wind, they just use it to get them to the next destination.
@firemike262 thanks for the advice brother. I plan to watch his previous videos and future ones for sure, his wisdom and calm demener hits home for me.
Im not even from your country, also we probably "differ greatly" religiously (or so we're told), but I have genuine love for you. Thank you for your wisdom and advice.
“Got a new girlfriend and she’s just a disappointment” 😅😅😅
That's God talking to us through you, thank you for the clarity.
I enjoy these philosophical videos especially. Thanks.
i'm on my second college semester and I've never felt so lost, exactly what you said it's hard to not feel hopeless and not have any expectations. When I know I'm spending all this money and all this time for a degree that I may or may not even use for a job that I am not guaranteed to get in a world that I am not guaranteed to live in. I really needed to hear this and I'm sure a lot of other people did. Please never stop making these videos you're like a father I never had and I need this wisdom more than you know.
expect nothing and you will never be disappointed
As a 21yr old I really appreciate this channel. It’s a great guidance channel 💯
Really needed this today ✨❤️
Young men and women can learn a lot from us wise ol' souls. Thank You
You just said my Mantra.
Disappointments are the direct results of expectations.
I tried to help my son realize that, while he is making plans, so is everyone else around him.
So make plans and set goals with the idea in mind to be flexible.
And remember...
When you come up against a wall... Be the ball.
In my personal life ,
I do practice the law of intention, by envisioning a desired result. Then holding that intention in mind as I go about daily life. The trick is not to push., but rather be aware when opportunities that align with my intention are presented. And they always are... *If* we pay attention.
The same principals apply for manifesting.
Life will bring you what you need if you are willing to be
1. Patient
2. Aware
3. Greatful
Thanks Uncle Buck
So, so true about expectations!! Dont expect then you'll never be disappointed. Very wise words to live by.
Bean cuisine
Expect the worst, hope for the best.
Thanks, helped me reflect on a recent outing, I havent gone out and been to the city much and my imagination can run from me a bit. I should just appreciate the moment, being with my friends
I like your dogo🤙
I think the first one is a Red Heeler. It’s an Australian cattle dog.
Thank you brother…. Wisdom can be funny! Love you
People in relationships and in business do not nail down the expectations for each party - and the inevitable occurs, since more missions fail. Out of the rubble ... bitterness and fretting. And lawsuits. This really clips people's wings in life. Always build a reserve - in financial life - and in your character. Detach and discern. Take your time before you decide. But ensure you know what you aim to get, and what your collaborators expect to gain - and that all parties state these things. And lastly, life is preparation for problems. There is often no outright solution, only trade-offs.
Unvoiced expectations are planned disappointments. Communicate, compromise, and set realistic expectations. Its a 2 way street
Thank you kindly for your time and efforts.
He's absolutely right. Expectations are landmines you lay for yourself ahead in your timeline.
I always love your chill and wise talk. Thank you for this !
Placing high expectations on yourself can also lead to disappointment. Like you say, just have fun! 😊🐎
He duwane long vriewer. Just hit 23 years today. Thank you for all the tips and gems you leave for us. may god bless your soul for hekpn me see between the crack