Signs you're being groomed by an abusive man
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
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Familiarity plays a huge part. Everything familiar is NOT good.
Gdeve. Hey @ALaneOfMyOwn, That is a Familiar Spirit.
I Hope 🛐 this bro. @The Shumake Way deals with verbal, mental & Emotionally abuse in relationships, Marriages...In JESUS Name, amen.
This is so true. I wish more people understood this. Many women find a good man and they feel strange and will call him weird or “off”. No, he’s fine. You’re just used to abuse and neglect….I was sucked in by a narcissist that felt so familiar. That’s was the first time I had experienced that. Later I learned about narcissism and realized the familiarity was from my treatment in childhood and that narcs are natural predators that study their prey and know the right lure to trap you.
@@PaperMario64 🎯 Exactly. Those childhood experiences are the key factors to making us or breaking us as we evolve. When choosing to evolve and grow it is essential to rid of the familiar energy and spirits. I too realized over the years why I was so acquainted with my past partner.
So is getting too familiar with your spouse a bad thing ?
@@SeanSean-jp9hg nope that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about characteristics that are familiar to things that aren’t good for you but because you’re used to them (familiar) you see nothing wrong with it.. it could be toxic familiar traits your partner have that you don’t realize is toxic because it’s something you’ve been exposed to your whole life.. basically it can keep you stuck
Verbal abuse it's the longer you stay the hardest to leave because the person tear you down for a years you start to believe that no one can save you
So true!
currently I am dealing with this Im having a hard time finding resources so I can get away I don't have any family its just me he threatening me all the time and the police wont do anything unless he hits me. He's always gaslighting me and telling me I'm a whore a slut and I have sex with every man I come across. he stays out all night and I be so glad bd I can rest in peace I don't care what he does out there and it bothers him I don't care so he'll resort to verbal abuse then jumping in my face chest bumping me wishing I was a man so he could punch me and he has hit me a lot especially in the pass its more financial abuse terrible mental abuse its horrible when I reached out for help it took 3 weeks before they called me back I reached out to domestic hotline I waited for over 20 mins and he was around so I ended the chat still haven't spoke to no one. if I don't perform sex acts he fusses at me for days wont allow me to sleep turns the music up really loud so I can't sleep he is so spiteful and disrespectful and nasty towards other women as well but he'll always say he will fight a dude but I doubt it bc I witnessed him cop a deuce and did not want to fight I hate him and ion hate nobody else I'm trying hang in there but its so hard my mental health is deteriorating badly I see a therapist every week. I cant even wash my underwear I cant do my hair I can't wear decent clothing bc I'm being accused of doing it to other men if I don't do my hair or put clothes on he will talk about me call me unattractive as well as other horrible names I'm not working trying to find a job but I don't want him knowing or figuring out where I work bc he wld show up there most likely drunk and high off of weed cocaine powder e-pills molly Percocet pills heroine bukes and methodone as well as alcohol smh I wish I never met him GOD help me please
or no one will ever love you
They make you feel like it’s your fault.
yup I fled him, women left, later I found out he's been accused of SA, and still its "women's fault" that snapped me out of it- when he blamed women. I knew then he was using DARVO.
The scary part is you never see stories of it getting better it seems like it just gets worse or they never change
Right, the abuse makes people sick, and they eventually think they can't leave.
It never gets better
Yeah, then Stockholm Syndrome can kick in and the victim never leaves alive
Exactly it doesn't get better or completely change! The reason is because if u stay they know that u won't leave when they do it again!!!!
We often hear about fight or flight responses, but we seldom speak about the ‘fawn’ response and the ‘freeze’ response. Fawning is when you play down what someone is doing, you kind of go along with it in some way, or laugh it off. Freezing is just sort of pretending it didn’t happen or waiting it out until the moment passes.
I think these two responses are so common for women when trying to de-escalate situations with men because we are tying to avoid physical altercations.
Please pay attention ladies, to the subtlety in dealing with people. We have to learn to see the YELLOW AND ORANGE flags, so we don’t have to even deal with the red ones.
Well said!
Such an amazing and well said comment. As a woman I agree with this wholeheartedly based on my own experiences.
Yes !!!
Freeze response...is what I grew up with. I feel such a strong fear inside me, that in response to harassment I never react back but just go into silent shock(=appearing frozen). And on the outside I might appear calm, but on the inside I am in a state of "about to have a panic attack"....and I can continue to listen to verbal death threats or humiliation while showing no sign of anger or disappointment on the outside at all....just frozen in time and space. .....
However, this is also a positive trait, at least in part. The thing is that the best response in the face of abuse is:
DO NOT REACT -
RESPOND CALMLY
So, I already naturally don't react with emotions or screaming, I just have to add to this a calm response. I'm almost there.
Just learning to say back calmly : "I understand your frustration, but I disagree with your view of the situation."
Or "I see your point. But I have a different perspective."
Or even shorter: "Ok. But I don't think so." is a great way to respond.
Such responses are NON-emotional.
And they can NEVER be used against you, for example in court, or anywhere in life. . . Therefore, if you freeze in shock, just keep observing and say to yourself: " I'm not being abusive if I disagree"
So, you do engage - but NOT IN emotional exchange of reactions. You engage in a constructive and calm dialogue. And you are half-way there every time you freeze in fear....."
I am from Russia. The Soviet History and Russian Imperial past for hundreds of years back is full of violence: hundreds of years of Slavic slavery/serfdom, political oppression regimes and hunger genocides throughout entire Soviet lands (both European and Asian sides of the Soviet world). In our language we have a saying "if a man (physically) beats you - he loves you"🥴..... I actually grew up hearing that a lot in Russian language 😢....the worst part is that over many years I became conditioned and fully brainwashed to learn to like it: any male attention, even abusive, automatically turned me on😢....
Brilliant
That type of abuse is no joke. I was with that type of man for 3 months and it felt like 3 years. It started out with jokes, then transitioned to verbal abuse, then he got so angry he punched a wall. Once he punched the wall, I left permanently.
My ex did that too. Punched that wall right in front of me when we argued. He wanted to marry me and I said no. Rhag was 1 reason why. His dad was abusive and his mom would always say she didn't think her son would hit me. Yeah ok..
Same, mine lasted 9 months ...the little time did much
Some show this in the beginning
Undermining and jabs disguised as”JOKES”
my ex dropped his phone onto me ! And he punched the wall and trees and hurt himself .and one time he was drank he dragged me onto the floor ….
And every time the cycle starts over it is worser than the last time.
Bible tells us that if we get rid of a demon and let it him back he brings 7 more with him 🤔 think about that!!! Matthew 12:45
I left the first time he hit him because I LOVE ME MORE. I pray everyone can get to this point
Girl yes. Not answering calls slow to text ... One time is enough honestly
Trauma bond kept me there. Free now and never again.
When you are in LOVE you will put up with anything, you have to be strong and get out and NEVER ago BACK
I can relate to this. I survived narcissistic abuse. I’ve gone 7 months no contact with him. I’m still healing but better than I was yesterday. Prayers for all survivors of any abusive relationship. I thank the Lord for removing this demonic person from my life. It takes a minute for the love for that person to wear off, but I vowed to never return. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Well done, Stef - stay strong! The first year is the hardest, but praying helps as the Lord will deliver you from trauma bonding and heals your wounds over time. For me it has now been 5 years of No Contact, I still pray from time to time for the Lord to help me forgive him when I remember things that he did or said. The silver lining is that what the enemy meant for bad, God used it for good and brought us safely on the other side, wiser, stronger and more discerning. Praying for you sis, and for all survivors. Sending love and hugs 🥰
These dudes don't let you see it until you are in too deep. That's the problem. Even if they try to leave rent is thousands a month. It''s not easy for these women to just up and leave. A lot of them can't make it on their own, especially if they have kids.
So true
Bingo you hit the nail on the head...that part...
As a survivor of a violent & sexually abusive relationship, truthfully I stayed b/c I was trained to. It's like breaking a wild horse.
There's the "humane" way, where one patiently builds mutual trust and respect overtime. And there's the "cowboy" way, where they use whips, spurs, chains & run the horse until they have nothing left. The horse is so tired & broken that they eventually give up. Then the training begins.
In my experience, the biggest red flags are in the beginning. When a person acts TOO perfect, when they buy you TOO much, when they say TOO many perfect things (overt exaggerations, love-bombing, lies). If it's too good to be true, that's b/c it is!
So please, if someone shines brighter than the sun, I beg you.. don't be Icarus.
That's horrible and terrible. Men can be so scary when they abuse women Smh
How about the guy that pushes you to your limit and expects you to shut up and not defend yourself or explain as to why you don’t do things a certain way but he gaslight’s you and shuts it down
Why are you still there? Are you waiting for him to Bury you and go to your funeral. You hate yourself that much that you want love from someone who detests you?? What are you waiting for? You think that love is supposed to be painful?? If you don't block the guy and move from the city to start a better life for yourself!!
Thid is oddly specific
@@munix9351 I’m not there lol it’s not me
I believe we usually know the truth about a person we’re in relations with, but it hurts to accept it. If it’s your friend, I would try my best to be there for her but also keep a safe distance for yourself, it’s not good to be pulled into that dynamic. When she’s ready, I’m sure she’ll call you for help
This part- don’t fall for the manipulation tactics- if they are defending their behavior using a defense that would only make sense to a CHILD…? Walk away.
Women need to learn how to defend themselves by taking up self defense classes get a gun and get a concealed carrying Permit can go to the rang.
We need to learn how not to enter relationships with men who are no good.
Yes
@@munix9351yes !
Or men could simply not be abusive… just a thought.
@@munix9351 this is really stupid to say,why? Because sometimes , things are unpredictable, the "best person" can change into the worst, just give them a couple weeks, months, years or even decades!!So saying things like this is inconsiderate
The other issue to add is that women and men who are being abused and have children. Please think of your children. they don't need to see their parent being hit. it hurts them. I have watched this with my own parent and I am scarred. i am in therapy and it is not cheap so please save your children's future if you have to change your name or location just do it for your child. it will save their mental health and their life
I know couples who went to counselling through a pastor with a psychology degree, before getting married then before having children. They postponed kids for a few years.
They realised they weren't quite ready for parenting,as they still had to deal with some childhood issues.
I genuinely believe that could be a good option for people who really wants to be good spouses and good parents.
You my soul mate run ladies...
Or twin flame😭😭
My advice is walk out of an abusive relationship as soon as you can. Trauma bond is usually what keeps people stuck in a toxic relationship.
It can be as insidious as crazy making. Making you feel like you overreacting to making you believe something wasn’t said or didn’t happen. That was a method used against me to try to make me doubt myself and my reality. It took a lot to be strong, remain assertive and trust myself enough to know that I’m not crazy. If someone knows you are willing to doubt yourself to appease their reality, it will get much worse.
And absolutely, letting people know it’s happening and saving evidence is a must. I was always being told that I discuss too much of our business. No that’s business that needs to be shared for safety reasons in case something happened. I took photos and kept logs that were easily accessible to family if need be. Protect yourself first. If someone is abusing you, they are not interested in protecting you…they are harming you.. don’t protect them.
Many abusers no matter what they say are also cheaters. They don’t respect you to begin with. If they are hitting you, they already don’t respect your physical body or your feelings, you have to respect and honor the person and the relationship not to cheat. They already disrespecting you
💯💯
Facts!!! I told my family...
I000% facts❤
Please don’t overlook people that speak really calmly and sweetly- don’t listen to words- pay attention to actions and how they make you FEEL.
Thank you for posting this. I've never seen a black man against abusing women. Nonetheless one speaking against it and making others aware! God bless you!!
What!?
It’s refreshing to see a young man think this way. I’m happy I found your page, been watching for a few months now. Very relatable & common sensical. Keep thriving!
It is incredible how someone can know and understand this crazy-making cycle without having had experienced it themselves. Why is it so obvious to everyone else? Why am I so dumb to have ever let this happen?
You're not dumb and it's not that obvious.
It's very strategic how abusive ppl enter your life and manipulate you so don't beat yourself up.
Now you know, so going forward apply everything you've learned 🤷🏾♀️
@yourstruly1984 that's right!
U are not...believe this many of us who always been independent and strong and say "I would never let a man etc etc" yea well never say never...we be the main ones it's not that obvious until it's obvious!
If you are currently talking to someone online and the algorithm suggested this or similar videos, take that as a sign! Nothing is private anymore, not their convos with you or their convos they may be having with others and that's how platforms like RUclips choose content and marketing to put your way.
Thank You for being a protector for those who need protecting! Knowing what to lookout for and what to do when faced with abusers! God Bless!
He is in therapy but still verbally abusive and turns every one of his problems onto me. He's really controlling my emotions. I'm being supportive but he won't change and I keep repeating myself. I have done all I can do and i'm giving up
Give up
You deserve what
U are not the woman he needs to be with...u need to get out of there!!! He not gonna change for u...
Leave... it won't get better. 🙏
Know about a man that talked about being afraid cause of women hurting men in a physical way. After he said this though, he started becoming very abusive. Shouting, wanting to control and wanting his way, belittling.. Felt unsafe and told him to leave and he did, without saying a word.. Yet, after he kept accusing us for things we did not do and threatening us over text messages..
Thank you for giving me hope. It's so painful to go through
Been there ! I always think that I am not as good as other people .
This was a whole sermon 🙌🏽. I can attest to a person being amazing in the beginning and then tearing you down from there.
He told me under his breath- then wouldn’t repeat it-“if you cheat on me I’ll kill your dog” !
This was so discretely helpful. I hope one day we’ll talk but for now. Thank you.
Thank you for openly talking about this subject that is supressed because of shame on one hand and lack of availability and safety for people to talk about this without being judged!
When it comes to abuse, i learnt and noticed a consistent pattern to keep an eye on.
Anybody that practices verbal abuse of any shape or form needs to be set a strong boundary... meaning, you consistently do NOT verbally abuse anyone... if you stick to respecting your own boundaries... you soon know when to call somebody out, tell them your boundary and what happens when it is broken, AND most importantly, YOU got to stick to the 3 things:
1- do NOT verbally abuse
2- set that boundary clear to others and consequences of crossing it
3- Stick to it firmly and unapologetically!
I found original verbal abuse is a reflection of what is hidden inside the heart.
From a fountain, we never get both salty and drinkable water... it is either one or the other, so let us make sure out of our mouths come words that build, bring wisdom, speaks truth in love, and nurtures the mind, heart and spirit!!
The inability to sit down to talk about what makes people mad... whilst being cool, calm and collected... is proof that the person needs to heal and grow before getting with anyone else.
I love you because i see that coolness, calmness and collectedness even talking about subjects that are obviously upsetting and close to your heart due to past experiences you witnessed and lived through and healed from thanks to God ❤
Your work, builds, pulls the good to the surface, calling out that which needs be NOT entertained.
You are inspiring in more ways than you are aware of and i thank God for you whilst I pray that He blesses you, your family and the work you do, that it may be a blessing and a light to those who are lost.
Thank you 🌻
Ex tried to make me fully depend on him and didn't want me being close to my mom and didn't want me to have platonic friendships with my male friends. Didn't want me talking to anyone. Used to tell me he can't eat or sleep without me. Crazy stuff like it's do or die. Had to wake up and run. Initially it's hard when they gaslighting you and trying to make you look crazy and doubt the reality of their abusive nature...
He couldn't eat or sleep without you, but yet he was able to survive for how many decades before he met you?! Lol! These "below sub-beings" are something else
Thank u for spreading wisdoms. This is scary and is so common. Its so hard to make the suspect leave.
everyone needs to hear this video
My dad broke my mom's bones in front of me and my sister when I was like 4. Apparently there was a lot of violence in our house. I don't remember it though. I struggle with relationships, friendships and romantic. I wonder how much of it stems from these experiences.
Thank you so much for this!! Please keep spreading awareness!! Someone I love, dearly, has been a victim for years and doesn't even realize it. It's heartbreaking and disturbing to witness.
It’s very difficult to have a financial future after your abusers fuck you up financially. You’re basically at a dead end and sometimes the only way out is homelessness until you pray to God to fix your finances. Some abusers trick you and you end up financially dependent and with no access to a bank account or job. They fuck you up THAT BAD. Some women really are down that bad. Some women get their kids ripped away from them & get kidnapped and admitted to the mental hospital & the abuser tells everyone to not trust the victim or listen to her because they are “crazy” or “mentally unstable”. And the abuser drives the victim up the wall with crazy making behavior and sleep deprivation and then does reactive abuse to further their smear campaign and bash on the victim’s name. Some narcs get their victims arrested & put restraining orders on them when it should be the victim putting a restraining order on the abuser.
We women are trapped
This video was a much needed wake up call. Thank you
Excellent video! I will surely pass this on!
This 💯 you are speaking my past relationships this hits different!!! I feel my heart hurting and welling up 😢 thank you for this I needed to hear is today. Your an angel keep doing what you do. God bless you and your wife
A mixed race Jamaican woman was just killed by her husband at 42 in her last year of medical residency. As someone who was in an emotional abusive relationship they don't just let you go. They will call a hundred times, show up at your house etc. It literally causes stress and panic attacks when you leave them. It's like a drug.
Always level headed and on point 💯
Domestic violence hotline
Human trafficking hotline
There is help!
Love y’all
God bless!
This is really good as your sharing things that are not spoken about from professionals who talk about abuse. I think people will be able to recognise the signs in a more relatable way 👍
Omggg I’m so glad I watched this! I’ve never been in an abusive relationship but i know way too many women close to me who have, so i watch & send videos like these all the time. I recently broke up with a guy i only dated for THREE MONTHS & i couldn’t really prove it until now but i felt like he was tryna groom me. The details in this video just confirm I WAS RIGHT! He even went as far as tattooing my name on his brow & gaslighting me like i told him to do it. I’ve always trusted myself but i trust myself so much more knowing i was spot on & left in the smartest safest way possible.
I made sure I went through the whole process of court the last time my ex was abusive . All the other times I had dropped charges for being forgiving but this last time .. I said this enough and made sure he is sentenced. Especially I have no father in my life , I need to stand my ground and not accept any abuse from no man.
My exit was blocking them from all 3 #s and staying away and just jot contacting them
Should I leave on my on two feet or in a coffin?
I hope your channel blows up. Looks good, sounds good. Excellent podcast!
Thanks to God for not letting a toxic relationship, or marriage be the cause of death because it could've happened a long time ago!
This is why it’s so important for healthy people who have experienced or observed abuse to tell their story or say what the observed. I grew up thinking this behavior was normal.
tysm. I really need to hear this today
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. ABUSE IS HORRIBLE. I KNOW. I LIVED WITH IT. IM DONE
Men/boys can be so mean … poor women
Whewww the accuracy. Let my ex use my car while I was at work and he robbed three banks 🫠 I don’t have a record so the cops thought I was the getaway driver . He told them go talk to the person who own the car 🥴 true story 😭 been knowing him all my life I was truly in a fantasy world .
What in the world?? 3 banks….so glad I drive a stick shift😂😂
“It’s not that easy.” I do get that, but as a DV survivor (six years, physical and mental, left with a police report after he called the police on me then beat me when they left)…you’re literally going to be left with the same possible outcomes either way. I finally made the choice because I realized either I was going to k*ll myself staying, or he would…and if he would if I stayed, there’s the chance he’ll try when I leave…so why not try? I was lucky to survive my exit but I couldn’t imagine wasting years or dying staying just because I’m afraid to leave. Not downing on anyone who can’t make that decision as easy but hopefully helping people realize it’s way more worth it for that chance of freedom…bc man it’s been the best thing I ever did for myself.
Also thank you for the restraining order thing…the other problem with those is no matter where you go when you place it, they HAVE to know where you are because they need to know “where to stay away from” -that’s what I was told by police. It was pointless to me so I just filed a report of harassment instead so it was noted but he didn’t have to get any info on me
Hi Brother Shumake way. Thank you so much for you important topic. I think it's truly wonderful, that you don't abuse your wife. That's says a lot!! Your helping to make a difference in this world. God Bless you, I pray God leads you to further His desire to protect woman, and men from getting stuck or threatened to be in an abusive relationship. To God be all the glory!!!
My brother has actually called me out my name . And he’s my brother . I don’t think I care to love him anymore because this video made me see that he’s not a nice person. He acts like this and still he doesn’t say sorry or show empathy
Thank you for this thoughtful video. It's really healing to hear this from a man.
This makes me feel confrontable but i need to hear it cuz i wanna change
I feel so dumb because this is literally my last relationship. I thought he never was abusive physically cause he never struck me but grabbing and pushing you is the same thing 😅 😮 I got out but every time he would say he’s gonna off himself if I leave him etc he got a tattoo after we broke up of my face 😮and I moved across the country to get away from him because he was harassing phone calling messaging me even after I blocked everything and then followed me from nv to Florida. And I’ve made it clear we’re done because he had an explosion of anger towards me out of the blue about cheating to find out he’s the one who cheated on me since the beginning 🧐 and now I think I need a restraining order …
May this video be covered in the blood of Jesus. This could lead people to being saved from abu51v3 lives.
The only names I will consider tattooing on me are my children.
I been told, I love you to death. 🏃 runnnnnnn
This was my ex! I’m just now recovering.
It’s a Cognitive Dissonance Narcissist dressed up as a nice guy. The one that’s always laughing and smiling
Starting at 15:09 is 100% accurate
He will build you up to break you down to cheat
or they make you feel like you cant live without them. saying that you are nothing without them, theyve paid for this and that for you for years, how everything you have is because of them (even though you were together for years and working together) its rubning it in your face. idk if i call it abuse but its fucked up.
my ghetto behaviour used to come because of him because he was abusive i cried tears like no one knows. I loved him only to be shattered into pieces. Now i am like a different person, everything he was is now i hate deeply. Thats how he used to keep me with love talk.
Menta Abusive is real.
The number one reason i stayed or "tolerated " him like towards the end was because it was easier to pretend we were ok and have an idea of where he was than to break up and him scare the shit out of me with stalking and popping up on me to beat the hell out of me you know. I was dead already i was an emty shell i had to get smart and really risk my life in documenting it very patiently and very carefully.. with Yahuah i or we didnt become another statistic . Honestly i was blessed i had wasnt in some of these other womens situations that they bravely take on that absolute TERROR of not having anything or being able to financially go somewhere besides a shelter i mean the most dangerous time is when you made up youre mind you are done. The fucked up part is that legally the law is enabling the abuser ad too many courageous women have died or have been severely injured or eve disfigured that it makes this so sadistic. Respect love not many men i hear speaking on this with sincerity and Honesty thank u ❤
Same with bite marks and stuff on the neck this dude said that's for me so people can know your mines and for me... No 👎🏾
Thank you for your honesty x
Good one.
I hate to say this but I have noticed abusers come from single moms. They don’t discipline their kids and they listen to all this rap music and random song lyrics about hate and hate their dads hate their moms and want to punish someone for the pain they have. I have been with a man who won’t leave me alone very abusive have 4 kids ladies don’t even have 1 kid with people like that. I know God used him to bring me back to Jesus, our trials are ordained, it was his mom that covered for his toxic behavior acted like nothing was wrong kept leaving coming back these people try to keep you broke and helpless so keep your job and your career going. Leave when he discards you and praise the Lord that the ordained trial is over.Get your family to help you leave and leave your life is too short to waste years on toxic people. Cut toxic people out.
Narcissist: Just use her money
ive been supporting victims of DV since the 90s. this advice is SPOT ON. you watch this and also read Lundy Bancrofts 'Why Does he Do that?' you will be set. sooner the better. tat someone name on your body after 20 years of honesty and support. matter of fact make it thirty. you want a name that bad on you tat your kids names on you, they likely wont beat and kill you. thank you for this Shumake. I will just add...for women...try to have money saved up when you date someone. in an account that NO ONE knows about but you. it will come in handy if you need to escape and will be money he cant use to control you or wipe out to control you.
This video really brought perspective to my life with my ex husband. I had some unanswered questions which I think I can close as solved now. Thank you.
Did you see the video of the couple where the guy holds a 🔫 to the young ladies head and she's telling him I trust you pull the trigger. And he does and nothing happens like it was cute.
Many people have been talking about this topic from your average drama RUclipsrs, to professional therapists, to relationship gurus, to divestors. Depending on how the message is presented it may be something that I can digest or something that is hard to listen to. I understand trying to warn mostly women of the signs of manipulation and abuse. However, I think that horse has been beat, literally to death in some cases. In my opinion, this rehashing just puts the stamp on the fact that many men will take advantage and that women have to keep our guard up, regardless of all the faux femininity rhetoric going around for the past few years. Why? People will take advantage of that too. I'm not even going to ask why the people preaching this message don't address the abusers, denounce them publicly, etc because I understand that y'all don't do it because y'all know that it's a irredeemable group of people. Anyways, I say all of that because this information is valuable, but it's borderline victim blaming. Again just my opinion. I couldn't finish this one.
i dont know how you know but you explained it perfectly.
He said his mother went through it...and men are great at discerning people they know they not stupid at all even if they act like it...
My ex told me when we first got together during the honeymoon phase while “joking” he said to me “if I don’t feel like fucking him he just gon take it” and low and behold he sexually abused me the entire relationship and made me believe a boyfriend can’t rape a girlfriend. My blood still boils at the thought of that dude 💯
You are amazing
Thanks for the upload
I’m struggling with my relationship I want to leave idk how to I’m deeply depressed 😔
great message!
its ok for a man to get physical but when a woman gets physical its a problem. i was in a relationship this man acted like he was sooo innocent. so basically we used to get into arguements all of the time because he would lie about everything! to the point that i started recording our conversations and playing it back to him. when i say everything i mean from him talking about something to do with his ex which i didnt want to keep hearing about her anyways good or bad because its his ex and i was tired of hearing the lies because things just wasnt adding up... to where something was or wasnt placed in the home. so from big to small. anyways it was me me bro, my child and him living in my home. i got really annoyed on day and i went and picked up his shoe and said im throwing them out. this man came and started manhandling me. gripsing me up to the point he ripped the top almost in half that i was wearing. dont think while this man was the one to touch me first because once he put his hands on me i wasnt just going to take it i started grisping him back. he started screaming my brothers name like i came for him. after that occasion we got into another arguement and my daughter who was young at the time came into the room took my hand and pulled me out the room took me into the living room and closed the door. this guy walked over to the living from and slammed the door open which then hit my child. i was like no this is over this is becoming extremely toxic im done with this. he was like no please dont im sorry i will go and speak to someone about my anger to the extent it was getting. i was like ok we can try that but this cant happen again. he spoke to someone then it was going well for a while but the lieing didnt stop. im someone who cant stand when someone is constantly lying to me about everything . anything and everything. so one day i was in the bathroom i asked him can you get me the towel from the dryer he said ok. came back and was like its not there i was like you are lying he was like im not now we are going back and forth but im still behind the bathroom door and he is in front of it. this man pushed the door in my face and i just turnt red and went straight for him. i ran out of the bathroom because once he done that he walked off. i opened the door and ran for him. i swear the way i got physical with him i have never done that before in my life. i lost it. and straight after it was over i was like no this relationship is over you need to move out today. this relationship is really toxic. now i can admit that instead of getting into an arguement after every lie i should have just ended it wayy before that because no one wants to hear someone always complaining and no one wants to be with someone who is always lying. and yes there was these red flags at the start but because we started off as friends i didnt think about it. like he would talk about his ex and how bad she treated him but it wasnt until i was with him i started asking him real questions about it which then showed me that he done things to her too it wasnt just her. you put your hands on her too this isnt your first marry go round with this type of anger towards women. also i was very chilled and i had no intentions of being with him when we was friends bcuz he had a different girlfriend. which he met or started talking to the same time as me on the dating app but i wasnt putting in all of this effort like her im ust not like that. im really chilled back so he went for her and i was like kl np and thats how we became friends. that didnt work because he wanted to use her for money then found out she had no money and got used himself. so in terms of trying to figure out how he would be in a relationship with me there was no need for me to observer him like that. after that last relationship of his ended not the one he was talking about all of the time the one that just ended from the dating app he asked for me and him to try and be in a relationship since we got along really well and what not and i said ok cool. now i liked the "innocent person" he was showing me so i like he a little but not like alot but when i was with him obviously i started liking him alot and that when i started noticing the the constant lying because now im paying attention to what your actually saying and him always talking about his ex. i think he got comfortable with talking about his ex because at the start it wasnt a problem not actually realising hes now in a relationship with me which then turned into a problem. imagine this man was calling me insecure whole time he is talking to his exs friends about his ex and her new boyfriend but then will be telling me the most personal and degrading things about her. basically i wasnt aware that this man was clearly still had an emotional attachment to her and was a compulsive liar that didnt really care about anyone after her and just need someone to fell the void of him having to be alone for once. and me now i grew up seeing my mum in situations where she didnt defend herself and i always said to myself im never ever letting a man any man be physical with me and just accepting it so yeah id be called a demon devil or whatever before i let a man get physical with me and think im just going to keep letting it slide. now that im older i would just leave straight away. dont think after that me and him spoke on the phone like we just spoke normal just being kl not knowing hes crying wolf to everyone. you see this life has no balance. you have no problem getting physical with a woman but when she shows you that she not the type to keep accepting that shit you want to cry wolf. like i said this life has no balance.
If you want to see abuse watch love n hip hop. They get after women who stand up for themselves and the women also push the narrative. If your relationship looks like any of theirs in any season then it’s toxic and abusive. If you’re triggered by what I said take a long look at yourself and stop telling people , don’t judge me. They are trying to help you don’t stay for the kids you’re staying for yourself
Look at what's love got to do with it movie. This what Tina turner went thru.
What makes you think our experience with men, is not as good as your advice? The nerve of men giving women advice about the evils of man. We know it first hand. Go preach to your man friends to get them to stop!
Calm down momma.
🙌 solid video
I am trying to be cautious. I am not sure if I am just traumatized or if I have strong intuition. I hope that I am not being groomed. Please, it will not be fair.
You know this reminds me of fatal attraction is real🎉 ugly love ignoring love melnipulation love bombing it's real . In a relationship you need some peace not hell 🎉 😊❤what your saying is so true thanks for the message
What about SYCOPHATH? They are Evil in Human flesh..😅😅😢😢
Just contact the cops. The narcissist could be a parent, don't let narcissist lie to cops. People get incarcerated by parents who lie to the officers and parents behave like victims
Not many people have your emotional intelligence in this day and age my friend, cheers.
Kansas arrest the women all the time
Very true!!