Guruji ek video please startup k upar banaiye for females, I mean simple speaking ....mujhe marriage institution pasand nahi h so marrige nahi karni h but uske liye life mein bhaut bada kuch mtlb jisse financially independent rahu + khud ka ghar+ gaddi+ ek goal zindagi katne k liye 😂 I know sab kuch expectations ki treh bol Diya ek saath but sachi sachi bta Rahi hu yahi chahti hoon right now age 19
Seven signs of a emotionally neglected person :- 1) overachiever 2) attention seeker 3) hyper independent/ hyper dependent 4)never satisfied in relationships/ career/life 5) perfectionist approach 6)shows love with gifts and money only 7) can't express their feelings in proper words Or Can't articulate their feelings properly.
I'm 27 years old Indian living in London, my mother passed away during COVID, not sad not happy, I just never felt more free in life. Narcissistic abuse by parents is a real thing. Taking therapy to fix myself. This man is on point with everything. Your own parents/partner/kids/friends can be the reason why you are always not good enough.
Yes. Without money or fancy stuff we can show our love- 1.When needed - by Listening and confirming them 2. By offering self cooked food 3.Going on a normal walk 4. Doing their one or two jobs when they need or just like that. 5 By giving tight hug for no reason 6. Looking after when not well 7. Just sitting and watching TV together,eating ,dancing together
I can relate to 4 or 5 of them. Sometime i feel guilty for having fun or spendng on myself. Like i always wanted to celebrate my birthday when i was young but havng cake nd invitng people over was considerd as waste of money in my house and i m an introvert so i never insested. But i always got some gifts or clothes by my parents. so now i dont like to celebrate my birthday at all even i feel wierd if anyone wishes me or i buy something for myself. sometime i get anxious on that day But i always try to give gifts to people on their birthdays.
Me Too, Reason some uncles son died when he was infant and that sentiment came in, even now indont allow My kids to cut cake 😅. There were times i forgot my bday, may be little worse than you😊. So now ireally dont know how to celebrate life even when earninig good money. I feel anxious to celebrate.
When l was child my mother never remembered my birthday. Forget cake & gift no one in my family wished me happy birthday. I did very well in my professional life Now my mother stays with me& wishes happy birthday. Now l know the reason why I feel so awkward on my birthday.
Hello sir you didn't include following points. 1) Different treatments between siblings 2) making kids feel inferior about their looks. 3) expecting to show matured behaviour on every occasion. 4) never teach children to do household chores... And then taunt them tht they don't know how to do it. 5) never show love and affection. 6) putting their decisions(self interest) on kids... Using various ways of emotional blackmailing. As a kid you think whatever your parents are saying is right... But as you become mature you realise... All the decision they have taken.. Was for their comfort not for kids.
Expression of love without money: 1. Appreciate (Not boasting) your child in public place after any achievement 2. Giving moral support to the child in his low phases and struggling days 3. Reassuring the child that we as a family will take care of every ups and downs in life 4. Having a rule in a family where everyone can help in each other's work, cleaning, cooking, studying. 5. Showing gratitude towards god for their child, infront of them. Showing kids that we're thankful to god that kid belongs to them
Hug, care, listening to them, doing small things for them, laugh with them, morning walk or evening walk with them... I mean seeing something natural like stars, morning sun etc Cooking something when ill
Kaafi badhiya video.. Sir ka ek-ek example - gear waali cycle, pencil-eraser khoya tha, not buying something for kid even though parents had more than enough money - can realate
I am 37 and realised quite late in life that how blessed I was for having parents who still treat us with the same love as they had when me and my sisters were kids. I can see around me that people who were neglected during childhood are on a self-harm mission and are getting miserable day by day. I really thought of telling them the real reason for their misery but the way you have articulated is marvellous. All your 7 points are bang on and I hope this video pops up on their feed so that they can live a lil better lives as sharing with them seems a lil risky to me. This video can be brutal for people who are actually suffering. But at the same time it is imperative that we start talking about these issues and amitji is doing a great job on it.
Most of the children are unwanted, since they're conceived out of societal pressure. Thus, those comments would be thrown at kids. An unhappy couple or mother or father can't keep the child happy, unless they're highly mature. Kids used to be the easy target of insults and beatings, therefore parents would take out their frustration onto them. Moreover, nobody was taught how parenting is done. No education related to that! So, children usually were guinea pigs. Lastly, do consume content related to inner child healing. It will benefit anyone dealing with emotional baggage. If the problem is here, answer is here too. ☀
7 Signs --> 1) You are an over achiever. 2) You want acceptance, admiration, affection from everybody. 3) Extremely Depedent Or Extremely Independent Towards Everybody. 4) You keep trying doing many things but not complete in every thing. You are not feeling complete. 5) Being hard on yourself. 6) You are incapable of showing love without money/gifts. 7) You are not able to express feelings with words.
I appreciate my parents for being so so loving and caring. Thank u so much Mumma & Papa for: 1. Always encouraging me to do different things and participate in everything despite whatever be the results. 2. for never ever slapping / shouting at me. 3. Never asking me NO for anything.. I always got more than what I needed. 4. Papa: for calling me and asking me on where I was when I used to get late, for waking me up early morning and phir wo thand me shawal lapet kar bus stop pe subah 05:30am chodna and night me 10:30pm lene aana.. garam garam paneer khilana.. Mumma: for never letting me leave home without food for the whole day. Aapka 4am uthna taaki mai jab ghar se niklu to breakfast, lunch, snacks sab ho mere paas. 5. Thank you for always letting me share my challenges or anything.. You never shut me down beacuse you were Papa or Mumma.. You never forced me to keep quiet. I am so so blessed and I will give the same to Aarvi & Aarva.
Yes childhood traumas are the extensions of mundane and subtle things . I am 30 years have been on a healing journey for 8 months and found out that roots were in the childhood. You are a reformer ❤ it's so good that we have you around to guide people through !
There is one more sign that is linked with childhood neglect. Which is that you can't say no to anyone. You always are fearful that your friends or family will abandon you if you say no to them. You always try to be available for your friends and family even if you already have a lot on your plate.
I feel your words now "muje sunn kar he healing ho jaegi" And yes rightly said healing happnes when we help other suffering with such trauma Thank you for making this video
Very true sir🙏 i am 30 right now sahi hai wo khalipan reh jata hai...I had faced gender inequality...bada dukh hota hai ek teref bdi-bdi baatein karne Wale parent aur action me different. Aise parents ko bus social accomodation achhi lagti hai...bus tareef karde to khush aur usko proof karna hai esliye continue karna...pr sach to sach hai samne aa hi jate hai ❤ God gives peace to that children 🙏👏 i am praying them to be healed Fully... by the name of God 🙏
Just fantastic ,😊❤️👍😀. In India 80-95 % families are going through this . Actually it is the over disciplined home environment where the father is strict and dominating and mother is soft , submissive not strong enough to make the husband understand child feelings also financial constraints played a vital role . It is very painful for the child to face life in adulthood or childhood to face emotional turbulence , external world dominance and cruelty, life gets really painful . I still remember one incident that I faced in childhood that was craze for Barbie doll which was very famous in early 90's I was desperate to have one but my mother never brought it for me , anyways later i managed to get a teddy bear and other toys without much fuss from mother . Once you loose that desire for getting something in life which you are desperate for then you will never show desire for anything even if you achieve anything higher than that still that pain creates a dent on your emotions and never feel for asking anything in future .😥😵🙄😱😤
गुरुजी, आपने तो हमें रुला दिया। यह समस्या कई घरों में होती है। माता-पिता को यह समझ में नहीं आता कि वे इससे कितना नुकसान पहुंचाते हैं। बस, आप अपना ज्ञान ऐसे ही बांटते रहें। कृपया यह भी बताएं कि बच्चे बड़े होने पर इस समस्या से कैसे निपट सकते हैं। धन्यवाद।
Very much related…so many trauma I have …mera birthday kabhi nhi celebrate kiya jata tha aur bhai ka hamesha And bhai ko trips pe bheja jata tha aur muje kabhi nhi ..aaj bhi yaad h muje aur ye sab cheeze ab mein apne bacho ko deti hun like I celebrate their birthdays always with so much enthusiasm
Same here... Bhai ke bday ke ek hafte pehle se hi sb itne excited hote ki bday aarha Bhai ka , ye party krenge , ye cake layenge , aree isko to ye gift chahiye, etc. But mere bday ke time pe no one remembers, aur phir bday ke ek do din baad yaad aata inko ki bday tha Mera then phir meko hi blame krenge ki ye khud ka bday bhul gyi phn me ghusi rhti 😂😂 In the end I don't want fancy parties or gift or even cakes. I want nothing , just a wish so that ik that I am also a part of this family. I exist too..
I have all of them, i have been planning my escape from my parents house since i was in class 9th, right now that dream seems closer and closer, i will graduate next year and will give cat, which i am preparing for right now, i live in delhi, but i will purposefully take the farthest college i can, so i can finally live in peace, ever after, after my MBA will take a job, away from my town. Although i have all seven, i have a girlfriend, but i have never been able to truly love her, cause i guess i even have rejection trauma, being rejected by multiple women, when i was just 15-17, i never looked good in my entire life, have some traumatic experiences, i dont talk to my family on a regular basis, my saving grace would be, atleast i am not becomming a violent person, that will harm others, i am just withering away in silence. Dont know how i will feel, when i finally achieve what i wanted for all my, i would be free and happy, for how long i don't know, i guess thats why i am trying and wanna do so many things in life, like guitar, piano, singing, vlogging etc. Cause i dont know how i will be if i am just left to my own demises, I've so far stayed away from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, but i don't know if it will be like this in future, who knows, but having a life with no joy, nobody around me and me not taking any substance to numb this loneliness, grief and pain, i cant imagine that life
Don't worry...aage ek khushal khubsurat jiwan aap ki intejar kar rahi hai... agar jiwan me bus ek chij ko pakarna ho to wo hai HOPE. HOPE ko na chode... Best of luck🙏
Practice gratitude...write 10 things in the morning daily which you are grateful for...include even your parents in that..see what they have done for you like giving you birth and education..ignore what they didnt...it will be difficult for you to thank them in the beginning but with time you'll be able to forgive them and then you will heal....i too have vrrry toxic parents and traumatic childhood and adulthood...still stuck with my parents but healed a great deal...god bless you dear with all the love and happiness in your life...baaki success toh aap khud hi achieve kar loge..😊
All the aspects you have touched are real.... No doubt.. Sir...at the age of 50 now I started healing.. Me and my daughter are living king size life.. With grace and and self respect... ❤ regards from hyderabad...
sir kya content hai...not because you touched ...but because aap jo higher order thinking sikhate hai.......gurudev aap to gyan ka khajana hai.... and i love to think & learn new aspect in my field of interest 🙏
Spending time with kids, going for walks, telling stories, listening to what children have to say without being judgemental, not comparing n so many other ways that are more important than spending money unthinkingly.
I am so so thankful and I would love to say that I have been the child who was privileged and lucky enough to not have gone through any of the above mentioned challenges. My brother often tells me that you are lucky and the world needs more people like you who do not carry unresolved childhood traumas
What a deep insight you have given in the last point sir 🙏🙏 I regret to say , I had no freedom of speech in my family as a child , so after my marriage I have suffered like hell .. i didn't know how to express my emotions or anything for that matter .. never knew how to put my emotions into words
Same with me , but with time and situations my confidence level increased and I learn slowly how to express myself . And now I am teaching my child to be straightforward and clear cut . Expression is must and disagreement is not an issue 😊
You have explained in a good way. I have a different question about this. Such trauma happens to everyone. There’s no one who might not have experienced it. But few people can overcome it without having a long lasting effect. It means it has to do something with individual nature. Some people are so sensitive that they can’t handle even minor issues. Of course l am not talking about major issues. But if I am not satisfied with anything, l can’t be satisfied even in future because of my nature. The events may not be important. That is where 2000 yr old knowledge is helpful.
7 out 7 with exact precision and accuracy and the day I get acknowledged for my achievements and how hard I tried is the day I can die in peace. Thank you so much.........just pure gratitude🙏🏼 Even my parents, fiance and close friends, none of them can accurately describe me this well.
Mai bhi b tech bilkul nahi karna chahta tha but my father forced me to do it. Aur pura 4 years +6months trauma me hi beeta( 2015 se dec2019). Aur fir pandemic. In 2023 I get joining of cgl 2020 exam. Aaj bhi lagta hai kaas simple collage se BA kiya hota to thik rehta bekar me itni mehnat kar li mila kuch nahi
Sir you have addressed correctly. I have suffered a lot in childhood, my parents always appreciated other children and said how they are so efficient and you are not upto the mark.
Love without money can be shown by spending time with complete attention to the person or cooking something favorite or just by being with the person and listening to him/ her or doing anything of that person's interest with him / her.
6/10 for me. I can express my emotions without any hassle irrespective of how others feel. I will always prioritize myself over others. Good insights guruji. Thank you! Need you to cover topics on all 7
Love language except money is By caring for them By cooking great food for them By beings available to them by listening to them By giving emotional support to them By giving your time & effort to them By going extra mile for them By providing advice to them
Make a greeting message Write a short note Any thing hand crafted Take a leave from job exclusive for someone Create an activity and involve that peroson
I saw the video twice jus t make sure dt i dont have even 1 of these.....im really fortunate to have had a great upbringing...i always felt so but now guruji ne mohar laga di.... thks guruji
Acc. to me these are my way of showing love without money: 1. Giving frequent massages when anybody i love is stressed. 2. Sitting quietly and being an active participant in their rant. 3. postponing my work for sometime so that i can help them if its really that important. 4. proactively helping them in their work, if i am capable of that task.
At least parents should have either love or money. What about those children whose parents neither have love nor money, just imagine the situation of such children how heart broken adults they become. Childhood trauma is a real thing and very serious. Thank you Guru Ji for speaking for us and on our behalf.
We dont trust anyone .....its just always survival , just some how survive and have void and unable to feel emotions and too much self dependent......!
Uncleji me yeh ek ek saari cheez se gujar chuka hu aur sab samjhta hu. Mere mommy papa ne kaam ke chalte ki gaun me transfer ho gaya school ni hai to mujhe nani ke ghar bhej dia tha 4-11 saal ki age me. Sara hi mind emotions usi time develop hote hai. 3 mosi 1 mama aur nani. Mujhe lagta hai jese mujhe kuch ni mila bachpan me jo mujhe milna chahiye tha, is cheez se bade hone pe bhut jayada effect padta hai par uska bhugtan nahi ho sakta. Matlab khane ko chocolate bhi ni milti thi bachpan me chocolate ko chocolate bolte yeh bhi ni pata tha. Yeh to ek hi example hai. Papa saal me ek baar aate the ek chocolate late the, me thoda sa tukda khata tha aur fridge me rakhata tha aur gayab. Naam bhi ni batate the ki kahi yeh maang na le. Esi bhi kya garibi ki freez to hai ghar me par 5 rup ki dairy milk na de sake. Aaj me 36 ka hu aur yeh me jab 5-6 saal ka tha tab ki baat bata raha hu. Yeh cheezo se pharak padta hai, jo bachpan ki udaan bharne pe hathode padte hai to usse pankh to tut jaate hai aur bade hone me insaan choud me nahi ghum pata.
following your channel for the past 6 months, never commented on your videos, only watching. But for the first time i am commenting. Yes what u said is true and i can relate to the points which u said. Thank you for talking about this topic.
Aap bilkul sahi bata rhe hen. Acharya Prashant ki book Pyar seekhna padta he " padiye. Log loveless hote hen.Mata pita ban jate hen per bachhe ko prem ke naam per kya dete hen. Vo samajh ata he dekho to
I'm 29 and moved to canada. Finally realizing and working on my trauma. I feel happy for the first time in my life. Im still not able to articulate. Hopefully, one day, I'll learn it.
I relate to 6 out of 7. Some are only partly, but they exist. Teddy aur pichkari mangne se pehle hi samajh me aa gaya tha ke ye bahut costly hai. Thank you sir for Self realisation.
We can show love to our child by following : 1. Spending time with them for example doing something woth them which they like alot. Even if it is childish and its weird for you to do it at ur age. 2. Paying a very good attention to them when come and speak to you. For example when they come to you put that phone down - your child will definitely see he/she is important to you. 3. For small kids when you wake them up in morning handle them very well. Never get angry if they are not getting up quickly. 4. If possible when they come from school and for older children speak to them and discuss hws was his/her day and share ur day too. These many come to my mind right now.
I had this 7 out of 7 symptoms of childhood neglect and emotional damage. But two years back I join two Krishna bhakti fully at least doing 15 out of 24 hours a day and in this due time of last two years I have healed completely out of all these thing. Now I don't even have a single out of this 7 symptoms in me. Now I am a fully happy and satisfied person.
After watching this video I realised how blessed iam to get such great parents. Sir your videos are really informative, i have switched to cat preparation from govt job preparation at 23 and now I came to understand why you said it that if your father is in govt job then don’t prepare for it. Thank you very Much❤️
@clarityforyouth sir you nailed it so well! When I was young my mom didn't send me for picnic from school as after few days my exams were going to start....Still remember those days... And apply my learning on my son... But kya nai karna hai ye bahut zyada hain points.... Feeling like cry while watching your video😞
Excellent topic , real rrue topics which should be discussed. Trauma of parents which affects children , should also be discussed. How ro forgive parents who had their own flaws, but respect their positive aspects
I never got any dolls or teddy bear in my childhood as those were considered wastage of money, and father was very strict and mother was always nagging.. but emotionally it was good.. but as a parent I try to fulfil my kids demand as per my capacity and I am not very strict with my kids
आपका यह वीडियो राजस्थान के छोटे से शहर देख रहा था। आपने वीडियो के अंत में अपने सब्सक्राइबर्स बोला कि सब्सक्राइबर्स बताए कि उन्हें किस पॉइंट पर विस्तार से वीडियो चाहिए। मुझे इन सारे पॉइंट्स पर विस्तार से वीडियो चाहिए। आपका वीडियो बहुत अच्छा लगा।
Bina paise ke love show krna, hmmm.. good listener, samay dena, comfort provide krna, unke liye khud ko change krne ki kosis krna aache ke liye, choti choti cheezen krna jisme paisa na lag rha lekin effort lag rha ho jisse samne wale ko pata chle ki aapke liye wo kitne important hai, thoda bht bachpana, etc
Also add the ability to read people accurately. Can easily read voice changes expression changes . Since readings others like this was only way to predict and survive
Mera vachan hi shasan hai😅. U r great sir🙏 bahut kuch sikhati hu aapke har video se. Me bhi 2 bachchon ki mummy hu. Mujhe bahut kuch sikhna hai about parenting.
My neighbour gave a packet of uncooked paneer as they were going out of station. That time I cooked only snacks. My mother cooked the paneer for that unwanted guest and he finished that paneer. When he went he appreciated the cooking but I didn't even taste that paneer. My parents added potato in that gravy and made a convincing tone and asked me to enjoy that aloo matar.
Childhood emotional neglect can be even restricted to certain amount of hours in the day, for example, when a particular relative was coming and interacting and the mother was ignoring the child during the day.
11:00 ek point pe ye ho jata hai ki cheezein bojh lagne lagti hai.... Ki nahi chahiye... Kuchh nhi chahiye... Ek paisa bhi nhi. Cz cheezein compensate nhi kar sakti emotional gap ko...
Just sit and talk ..asking how they are feeling at times when ever your kids or spouse or parents seem somewhat different.. Share your experiences so that they open up...cook their favourite meals and sit over mealtimes to talk ...thats what I do...may be many more ways.
Lot of people suffer from these issues..this shows how small issues during childhood can become really big when one becomes an adult..parents are unknowingly causing this kind of stress in the life of their children.. 1. Please do not strive for "the best" as a parent 2. Build strong bonds with your children from Day 1 3. Have the mentality of a team. If child succeeds, parent succeeds. If child fails, parent fails
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Guruji ek video please startup k upar banaiye for females, I mean simple speaking ....mujhe marriage institution pasand nahi h so marrige nahi karni h but uske liye life mein bhaut bada kuch mtlb jisse financially independent rahu + khud ka ghar+ gaddi+ ek goal zindagi katne k liye
😂 I know sab kuch expectations ki treh bol Diya ek saath but sachi sachi bta Rahi hu yahi chahti hoon right now age 19
@@vershatehlan9809🤦♂️
Seven signs of a emotionally neglected person :-
1) overachiever
2) attention seeker
3) hyper independent/ hyper dependent
4)never satisfied in relationships/ career/life
5) perfectionist approach
6)shows love with gifts and money only
7) can't express their feelings in proper words
Or
Can't articulate their feelings properly.
I'm 27 years old Indian living in London, my mother passed away during COVID, not sad not happy, I just never felt more free in life. Narcissistic abuse by parents is a real thing. Taking therapy to fix myself. This man is on point with everything. Your own parents/partner/kids/friends can be the reason why you are always not good enough.
What therapy are you taking? How to get started with mental health consultations / issues in UK?
@@shaneward2588 University provided a therapist once, then some research of my own, books, articles, free online courses.
relatable plz tell me about therapy , I am in depression since 2016 ,didn't achieved anything in life.
I'm too in this path currently, I think I'll die young I cannot control my anger
Soo true.. I'm with narc parents too.. Can relate😢
Please
Please
Please start a whole parenting series with age categories
Its a must for indian society❤
Yes I agree!! PLEASE We need a whole playlist for child-parent and deifferent aspects of this relationship!
Yes please make it 😢
Yes, please
Yes please
Yes plz make it sir parenting tips
Yes. Without money or fancy stuff we can show our love- 1.When needed - by Listening and confirming them
2. By offering self cooked food
3.Going on a normal walk
4. Doing their one or two jobs when they need or just like that.
5 By giving tight hug for no reason
6. Looking after when not well
7. Just sitting and watching TV together,eating ,dancing together
Perfectly said
I can relate to 4 or 5 of them. Sometime i feel guilty for having fun or spendng on myself. Like i always wanted to celebrate my birthday when i was young but havng cake nd invitng people over was considerd as waste of money in my house and i m an introvert so i never insested. But i always got some gifts or clothes by my parents. so now i dont like to celebrate my birthday at all even i feel wierd if anyone wishes me or i buy something for myself. sometime i get anxious on that day But i always try to give gifts to people on their birthdays.
I thought it was only me
Count me too in the group
Me too
Same here but the only difference is i didn't get gifts from my parents too😢
Me Too, Reason some uncles son died when he was infant and that sentiment came in, even now indont allow
My kids to cut cake 😅. There were times i forgot my bday, may be little worse than you😊. So now ireally dont know how to celebrate life even when earninig good money. I feel anxious to celebrate.
When l was child my mother never remembered my birthday. Forget cake & gift no one in my family wished me happy birthday. I did very well in my professional life Now my mother stays with me& wishes happy birthday. Now l know the reason why I feel so awkward on my birthday.
Hello sir you didn't include following points.
1) Different treatments between siblings
2) making kids feel inferior about their looks.
3) expecting to show matured behaviour on every occasion.
4) never teach children to do household chores... And then taunt them tht they don't know how to do it.
5) never show love and affection.
6) putting their decisions(self interest) on kids... Using various ways of emotional blackmailing.
As a kid you think whatever your parents are saying is right... But as you become mature you realise... All the decision they have taken.. Was for their comfort not for kids.
Your all 7 points are exactly matching with my right now condition. 😢 horrible!
Same here bro!😢
Expression of love without money:
1. Appreciate (Not boasting) your child in public place after any achievement
2. Giving moral support to the child in his low phases and struggling days
3. Reassuring the child that we as a family will take care of every ups and downs in life
4. Having a rule in a family where everyone can help in each other's work, cleaning, cooking, studying.
5. Showing gratitude towards god for their child, infront of them. Showing kids that we're thankful to god that kid belongs to them
Hug, care, listening to them, doing small things for them, laugh with them, morning walk or evening walk with them... I mean seeing something natural like stars, morning sun etc
Cooking something when ill
Ways of loving : giving a selfless hug, just listening, a simple pat on the back, not always giving lectures on life, just being chill at times.
Kaafi badhiya video.. Sir ka ek-ek example - gear waali cycle, pencil-eraser khoya tha, not buying something for kid even though parents had more than enough money - can realate
I am 37 and realised quite late in life that how blessed I was for having parents who still treat us with the same love as they had when me and my sisters were kids. I can see around me that people who were neglected during childhood are on a self-harm mission and are getting miserable day by day. I really thought of telling them the real reason for their misery but the way you have articulated is marvellous. All your 7 points are bang on and I hope this video pops up on their feed so that they can live a lil better lives as sharing with them seems a lil risky to me. This video can be brutal for people who are actually suffering. But at the same time it is imperative that we start talking about these issues and amitji is doing a great job on it.
My mother told me that I was unwanted child. These lines broke me....
Mine said that too....this pain never leaves 😢
Quite disheartening to hear this. Hope you find good people around you to overcome this.
Might be for your mother but not for God. It's Him who has given life. 😊
@@lotusvines3698very nice , your line is encouraging 👍
Most of the children are unwanted, since they're conceived out of societal pressure. Thus, those comments would be thrown at kids. An unhappy couple or mother or father can't keep the child happy, unless they're highly mature.
Kids used to be the easy target of insults and beatings, therefore parents would take out their frustration onto them. Moreover, nobody was taught how parenting is done. No education related to that!
So, children usually were guinea pigs.
Lastly, do consume content related to inner child healing. It will benefit anyone dealing with emotional baggage.
If the problem is here, answer is here too. ☀
7 Signs -->
1) You are an over achiever.
2) You want acceptance, admiration, affection from everybody.
3) Extremely Depedent Or Extremely Independent Towards Everybody.
4) You keep trying doing many things but not complete in every thing. You are not feeling complete.
5) Being hard on yourself.
6) You are incapable of showing love without money/gifts.
7) You are not able to express feelings with words.
I appreciate my parents for being so so loving and caring.
Thank u so much Mumma & Papa for:
1. Always encouraging me to do different things and participate in everything despite whatever be the results.
2. for never ever slapping / shouting at me.
3. Never asking me NO for anything.. I always got more than what I needed.
4. Papa: for calling me and asking me on where I was when I used to get late, for waking me up early morning and phir wo thand me shawal lapet kar bus stop pe subah 05:30am chodna and night me 10:30pm lene aana.. garam garam paneer khilana..
Mumma: for never letting me leave home without food for the whole day. Aapka 4am uthna taaki mai jab ghar se niklu to breakfast, lunch, snacks sab ho mere paas.
5. Thank you for always letting me share my challenges or anything.. You never shut me down beacuse you were Papa or Mumma.. You never forced me to keep quiet. I am so so blessed and I will give the same to Aarvi & Aarva.
Yes childhood traumas are the extensions of mundane and subtle things . I am 30 years have been on a healing journey for 8 months and found out that roots were in the childhood. You are a reformer ❤ it's so good that we have you around to guide people through !
How do you heal ?
There is one more sign that is linked with childhood neglect. Which is that you can't say no to anyone. You always are fearful that your friends or family will abandon you if you say no to them. You always try to be available for your friends and family even if you already have a lot on your plate.
24:30
I feel your words now "muje sunn kar he healing ho jaegi"
And yes rightly said healing happnes when we help other suffering with such trauma
Thank you for making this video
Sir, I'm 21 years old, been bingeing your content for a month now. I broke down watching this
Very true sir🙏 i am 30 right now sahi hai wo khalipan reh jata hai...I had faced gender inequality...bada dukh hota hai ek teref bdi-bdi baatein karne Wale parent aur action me different. Aise parents ko bus social accomodation achhi lagti hai...bus tareef karde to khush aur usko proof karna hai esliye continue karna...pr sach to sach hai samne aa hi jate hai ❤ God gives peace to that children 🙏👏 i am praying them to be healed Fully... by the name of God 🙏
I can understand 😊
Aapke jesa guru 40 saal pehle mila hota tau life kuch alag hoti
Just fantastic ,😊❤️👍😀. In India 80-95 % families are going through this . Actually it is the over disciplined home environment where the father is strict and dominating and mother is soft , submissive not strong enough to make the husband understand child feelings also financial constraints played a vital role . It is very painful for the child to face life in adulthood or childhood to face emotional turbulence , external world dominance and cruelty, life gets really painful . I still remember one incident that I faced in childhood that was craze for Barbie doll which was very famous in early 90's I was desperate to have one but my mother never brought it for me , anyways later i managed to get a teddy bear and other toys without much fuss from mother . Once you loose that desire for getting something in life which you are desperate for then you will never show desire for anything even if you achieve anything higher than that still that pain creates a dent on your emotions and never feel for asking anything in future .😥😵🙄😱😤
गुरुजी, आपने तो हमें रुला दिया। यह समस्या कई घरों में होती है। माता-पिता को यह समझ में नहीं आता कि वे इससे कितना नुकसान पहुंचाते हैं। बस, आप अपना ज्ञान ऐसे ही बांटते रहें। कृपया यह भी बताएं कि बच्चे बड़े होने पर इस समस्या से कैसे निपट सकते हैं। धन्यवाद।
Very much related…so many trauma I have …mera birthday kabhi nhi celebrate kiya jata tha aur bhai ka hamesha And bhai ko trips pe bheja jata tha aur muje kabhi nhi ..aaj bhi yaad h muje aur ye sab cheeze ab mein apne bacho ko deti hun like I celebrate their birthdays always with so much enthusiasm
Same here... Bhai ke bday ke ek hafte pehle se hi sb itne excited hote ki bday aarha Bhai ka , ye party krenge , ye cake layenge , aree isko to ye gift chahiye, etc.
But mere bday ke time pe no one remembers, aur phir bday ke ek do din baad yaad aata inko ki bday tha Mera then phir meko hi blame krenge ki ye khud ka bday bhul gyi phn me ghusi rhti 😂😂
In the end I don't want fancy parties or gift or even cakes. I want nothing , just a wish so that ik that I am also a part of this family. I exist too..
God bless everyone ❤️
God bless you dear with all the love and happiness...and its so good that you didnt let your childhood neglect affect your love for your children😊
I have all of them, i have been planning my escape from my parents house since i was in class 9th, right now that dream seems closer and closer, i will graduate next year and will give cat, which i am preparing for right now, i live in delhi, but i will purposefully take the farthest college i can, so i can finally live in peace, ever after, after my MBA will take a job, away from my town. Although i have all seven, i have a girlfriend, but i have never been able to truly love her, cause i guess i even have rejection trauma, being rejected by multiple women, when i was just 15-17, i never looked good in my entire life, have some traumatic experiences, i dont talk to my family on a regular basis, my saving grace would be, atleast i am not becomming a violent person, that will harm others, i am just withering away in silence. Dont know how i will feel, when i finally achieve what i wanted for all my, i would be free and happy, for how long i don't know, i guess thats why i am trying and wanna do so many things in life, like guitar, piano, singing, vlogging etc. Cause i dont know how i will be if i am just left to my own demises, I've so far stayed away from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes, but i don't know if it will be like this in future, who knows, but having a life with no joy, nobody around me and me not taking any substance to numb this loneliness, grief and pain, i cant imagine that life
Don't worry...aage ek khushal khubsurat jiwan aap ki intejar kar rahi hai... agar jiwan me bus ek chij ko pakarna ho to wo hai HOPE. HOPE ko na chode... Best of luck🙏
Take sir's happiness course. We all are in the same situation. Hooe we all heal
Practice gratitude...write 10 things in the morning daily which you are grateful for...include even your parents in that..see what they have done for you like giving you birth and education..ignore what they didnt...it will be difficult for you to thank them in the beginning but with time you'll be able to forgive them and then you will heal....i too have vrrry toxic parents and traumatic childhood and adulthood...still stuck with my parents but healed a great deal...god bless you dear with all the love and happiness in your life...baaki success toh aap khud hi achieve kar loge..😊
All the aspects you have touched are real.... No doubt.. Sir...at the age of 50 now I started healing.. Me and my daughter are living king size life.. With grace and and self respect... ❤ regards from hyderabad...
sir kya content hai...not because you touched ...but because aap jo higher order thinking sikhate hai.......gurudev aap to gyan ka khajana hai.... and i love to think & learn new aspect in my field of interest 🙏
Spending time with kids, going for walks, telling stories, listening to what children have to say without being judgemental, not comparing n so many other ways that are more important than spending money unthinkingly.
I am so so thankful and I would love to say that I have been the child who was privileged and lucky enough to not have gone through any of the above mentioned challenges. My brother often tells me that you are lucky and the world needs more people like you who do not carry unresolved childhood traumas
same. but i seen my friends suffering
What a deep insight you have given in the last point sir 🙏🙏
I regret to say , I had no freedom of speech in my family as a child , so after my marriage I have suffered like hell .. i didn't know how to express my emotions or anything for that matter .. never knew how to put my emotions into words
Same with me , but with time and situations my confidence level increased and I learn slowly how to express myself . And now I am teaching my child to be straightforward and clear cut . Expression is must and disagreement is not an issue 😊
Going through the same situation but I am watching kdramas since last 2 years and that helped me to put my feelings and emotions into words
@@anjusingh5082 well said
Thanks Guruji ! Aap jab bolte ho - Don’t share this video and the reason you have given, I have understood your are so genuine as a person. 😊
You have explained in a good way. I have a different question about this. Such trauma happens to everyone. There’s no one who might not have experienced it. But few people can overcome it without having a long lasting effect. It means it has to do something with individual nature. Some people are so sensitive that they can’t handle even minor issues. Of course l am not talking about major issues.
But if I am not satisfied with anything, l can’t be satisfied even in future because of my nature. The events may not be important. That is where 2000 yr old knowledge is helpful.
Literally a tear rolled down watching the video. Could relate to more than 5 points.
7 out 7 with exact precision and accuracy and the day I get acknowledged for my achievements and how hard I tried is the day I can die in peace.
Thank you so much.........just pure gratitude🙏🏼
Even my parents, fiance and close friends, none of them can accurately describe me this well.
Mai bhi b tech bilkul nahi karna chahta tha but my father forced me to do it. Aur pura 4 years +6months trauma me hi beeta( 2015 se dec2019). Aur fir pandemic. In 2023 I get joining of cgl 2020 exam. Aaj bhi lagta hai kaas simple collage se BA kiya hota to thik rehta bekar me itni mehnat kar li mila kuch nahi
Jivan jine ke kuch to hai aapke pass kuch success to hai. use your tech in startup or getting new ideas
Normal Ba se cgl me selection nahi hota
@VikramSingh-hm4yl who told you??
@@mrdaman99 kindly check syllabus and exam pattern of cgl
Sir you have addressed correctly. I have suffered a lot in childhood, my parents always appreciated other children and said how they are so efficient and you are not upto the mark.
Love without money can be shown by spending time with complete attention to the person or cooking something favorite or just by being with the person and listening to him/ her or doing anything of that person's interest with him / her.
I could relate to most of the points but no. 7 made me cry 😪 Pls make a video on how we can release our emotions which are piled up inside
You are so true sir....
A very nice video where parents should really see it and understand it so that they can see to their kids in a better way
6/10 for me. I can express my emotions without any hassle irrespective of how others feel. I will always prioritize myself over others. Good insights guruji. Thank you! Need you to cover topics on all 7
Love language except money is
By caring for them
By cooking great food for them
By beings available to them by listening to them
By giving emotional support to them
By giving your time & effort to them
By going extra mile for them
By providing advice to them
Make a greeting message
Write a short note
Any thing hand crafted
Take a leave from job exclusive for someone
Create an activity and involve that peroson
All relevant points. Better don't have children than to scar them forever...past karma settlement? Don't know!!
I saw the video twice jus t make sure dt i dont have even 1 of these.....im really fortunate to have had a great upbringing...i always felt so but now guruji ne mohar laga di.... thks guruji
Guruji I carried childhood trauma unknowingly. Your words are inspiring.
I m 22 rn stared earning a good amount, kuch bhi aaj ke din leta hu khud ke liye, yah salary aati toh Khushi hoti hi nahi.... nothing, now i know why
same here.
Acc. to me these are my way of showing love without money:
1. Giving frequent massages when anybody i love is stressed.
2. Sitting quietly and being an active participant in their rant.
3. postponing my work for sometime so that i can help them if its really that important.
4. proactively helping them in their work, if i am capable of that task.
We can show love through
1. Cooking food for the person
2. By giving your time
At least parents should have either love or money. What about those children whose parents neither have love nor money, just imagine the situation of such children how heart broken adults they become. Childhood trauma is a real thing and very serious. Thank you Guru Ji for speaking for us and on our behalf.
We dont trust anyone .....its just always survival , just some how survive and have void and unable to feel emotions and too much self dependent......!
Too much of self love and self loathe is not good. But the challenge is draw a balance of both.😊
Uncleji me yeh ek ek saari cheez se gujar chuka hu aur sab samjhta hu. Mere mommy papa ne kaam ke chalte ki gaun me transfer ho gaya school ni hai to mujhe nani ke ghar bhej dia tha 4-11 saal ki age me. Sara hi mind emotions usi time develop hote hai. 3 mosi 1 mama aur nani. Mujhe lagta hai jese mujhe kuch ni mila bachpan me jo mujhe milna chahiye tha, is cheez se bade hone pe bhut jayada effect padta hai par uska bhugtan nahi ho sakta. Matlab khane ko chocolate bhi ni milti thi bachpan me chocolate ko chocolate bolte yeh bhi ni pata tha. Yeh to ek hi example hai. Papa saal me ek baar aate the ek chocolate late the, me thoda sa tukda khata tha aur fridge me rakhata tha aur gayab. Naam bhi ni batate the ki kahi yeh maang na le. Esi bhi kya garibi ki freez to hai ghar me par 5 rup ki dairy milk na de sake. Aaj me 36 ka hu aur yeh me jab 5-6 saal ka tha tab ki baat bata raha hu.
Yeh cheezo se pharak padta hai, jo bachpan ki udaan bharne pe hathode padte hai to usse pankh to tut jaate hai aur bade hone me insaan choud me nahi ghum pata.
following your channel for the past 6 months, never commented on your videos, only watching. But for the first time i am commenting. Yes what u said is true and i can relate to the points which u said. Thank you for talking about this topic.
Aap bilkul sahi bata rhe hen. Acharya Prashant ki book Pyar seekhna padta he " padiye.
Log loveless hote hen.Mata pita ban jate hen per bachhe ko prem ke naam per kya dete hen. Vo samajh ata he dekho to
India me maa baap ko bhagwan se upar btaya jata hai isiliye dimag kharab ho rakha hai logo ka
True sir 30 saal puraana likha consumer market banaane ke liye tha...2000 hajaar saal puraana business ke liye nhi tha...
7/7 But I always blamed myself only as culturally I believe parents can’t be wrong.
I'm 29 and moved to canada. Finally realizing and working on my trauma. I feel happy for the first time in my life. Im still not able to articulate. Hopefully, one day, I'll learn it.
I relate to 6 out of 7. Some are only partly, but they exist. Teddy aur pichkari mangne se pehle hi samajh me aa gaya tha ke ye bahut costly hai. Thank you sir for Self realisation.
We can show love to our child by following :
1. Spending time with them for example doing something woth them which they like alot. Even if it is childish and its weird for you to do it at ur age.
2. Paying a very good attention to them when come and speak to you. For example when they come to you put that phone down - your child will definitely see he/she is important to you.
3. For small kids when you wake them up in morning handle them very well. Never get angry if they are not getting up quickly.
4. If possible when they come from school and for older children speak to them and discuss hws was his/her day and share ur day too.
These many come to my mind right now.
Omg this man is bang on true in his all videos...👌👌👌.....who made u...ur thinking...practically soo true...
You are right. Aur jab sibbling smart ho aur aap smart nahin ho to bhi childhood me bahut kuch dil me dab jata hai jo mind me asar karta hai.
Ryt ..mere siblings bhi mjhe aesa feel krte like mai puri life unpe depended thi aur ab mjhe unhe paybavk krna chahiye ..chae iske liye career chodna pade
So true I have seen these happening with my brother's..and they both are in this categories..need healing 💖
Ya heal these bulls 🐂
Having a talk, cooking togethet, not trying to occupy their space, not interfering in other's space is showing love.
I had this 7 out of 7 symptoms of childhood neglect and emotional damage. But two years back I join two Krishna bhakti fully at least doing 15 out of 24 hours a day and in this due time of last two years I have healed completely out of all these thing. Now I don't even have a single out of this 7 symptoms in me. Now I am a fully happy and satisfied person.
I too want to join Krishna bhakti... Please guide me how can I join. There is no iskcon near by my town
True
After watching this video I realised how blessed iam to get such great parents. Sir your videos are really informative, i have switched to cat preparation from govt job preparation at 23 and now I came to understand why you said it that if your father is in govt job then don’t prepare for it.
Thank you very Much❤️
Superrrrbbb Guruji, u hv absolutely nailed it. I hv never heard anything more relevant than this....
❤ such a great Gyan Sirjee. Am having all 7 traits. I badly need healing. 😮 pls bless me.
Very good sir u actually got the topics that matter most....
The upbringing ...... Please next
Yes sir upbringing is very important
sir you are truly connected to roots...MAG❤❤
Cycle wala baat sey toh emotional kar diye aap mujhe😢
4th feeling incomplete
5th hard on myself (little bit)
6th can't show love without money
7th can't express my feelings in words
2 out of 7 ..
Thanks Guruji . Maza aa gya hai
@clarityforyouth sir you nailed it so well! When I was young my mom didn't send me for picnic from school as after few days my exams were going to start....Still remember those days... And apply my learning on my son... But kya nai karna hai ye bahut zyada hain points.... Feeling like cry while watching your video😞
Excellent topic , real rrue topics which should be discussed. Trauma of parents which affects children , should also be discussed. How ro forgive parents who had their own flaws, but respect their positive aspects
Your topics are exceptionally good and highly needed for everyone. Pl do continue to bring such videos. Hats off
Zabardastttttt Mazzaaaa Aa Gayaaaaa, Guru Ji 🍾🔥 Pls make detailed videos on all SEVEN points 😍😍😍
Maza aa gya sir... bahut tym se jo prob hui h uska reason aaj samaj aya..
Very true sir feeling myself connected 😭
I never got any dolls or teddy bear in my childhood as those were considered wastage of money, and father was very strict and mother was always nagging.. but emotionally it was good.. but as a parent I try to fulfil my kids demand as per my capacity and I am not very strict with my kids
Highly relevant issues you have discussed. Thank you so much for your efforts as well as the information.
7/7 😢 and I know. So many things happened in young life and realised that it's due to childhood troma.
Touched my heart. Thankyou for your exceptional information
The way u just enjoy 😊😊😊....swaad aa jata hai
Holi wali example Bahut Sahi di aapne. Mujhe pichkaari Nahi Leke di thi mere papa ne.
I have seen his happiness course, it's the best, i have stopped feeling irritated and angry. Healed me little.
How to take the course please help
@@casual_gaming_5 take channel membership of sango's life sutras
Sir, Can you please start parenting series?
Showing care
Quality time
Love can be expressed by appriciation and behaving friendly with them
आपका यह वीडियो राजस्थान के छोटे से शहर देख रहा था। आपने वीडियो के अंत में अपने सब्सक्राइबर्स बोला कि सब्सक्राइबर्स बताए कि उन्हें किस पॉइंट पर विस्तार से वीडियो चाहिए। मुझे इन सारे पॉइंट्स पर विस्तार से वीडियो चाहिए। आपका वीडियो बहुत अच्छा लगा।
Bina paise ke love show krna, hmmm.. good listener, samay dena, comfort provide krna, unke liye khud ko change krne ki kosis krna aache ke liye, choti choti cheezen krna jisme paisa na lag rha lekin effort lag rha ho jisse samne wale ko pata chle ki aapke liye wo kitne important hai, thoda bht bachpana, etc
Also add the ability to read people accurately. Can easily read voice changes expression changes . Since readings others like this was only way to predict and survive
Mera vachan hi shasan hai😅. U r great sir🙏 bahut kuch sikhati hu aapke har video se. Me bhi 2 bachchon ki mummy hu. Mujhe bahut kuch sikhna hai about parenting.
My neighbour gave a packet of uncooked paneer as they were going out of station. That time I cooked only snacks. My mother cooked the paneer for that unwanted guest and he finished that paneer. When he went he appreciated the cooking but I didn't even taste that paneer. My parents added potato in that gravy and made a convincing tone and asked me to enjoy that aloo matar.
Video was very informative. Thank u so much for showing light on these topics..
Childhood emotional neglect can be even restricted to certain amount of hours in the day, for example, when a particular relative was coming and interacting and the mother was ignoring the child during the day.
11:00 ek point pe ye ho jata hai ki cheezein bojh lagne lagti hai.... Ki nahi chahiye... Kuchh nhi chahiye... Ek paisa bhi nhi. Cz cheezein compensate nhi kar sakti emotional gap ko...
Very deep touching video, striking at the root level....
Just sit and talk ..asking how they are feeling at times when ever your kids or spouse or parents seem somewhat different..
Share your experiences so that they open up...cook their favourite meals and sit over mealtimes to talk ...thats what I do...may be many more ways.
Wow.......Sir one of the best video ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Great You are really Great an eye opener 🤩
I feel the same 💔. Anyways we need to heal anyhow. It hurts even more while seeing this video.
Lot of people suffer from these issues..this shows how small issues during childhood can become really big when one becomes an adult..parents are unknowingly causing this kind of stress in the life of their children..
1. Please do not strive for "the best" as a parent
2. Build strong bonds with your children from Day 1
3. Have the mentality of a team. If child succeeds, parent succeeds. If child fails, parent fails