Fake Heiress, True Narcissist w/ Rachel DeLoache Williams | Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani
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- Опубликовано: 4 мар 2023
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Season 2 of Navigating Narcissism premieres on March 16th!
Rachel DeLoache Williams was a small-town girl living her dream in New York City as a photo editor at Vanity Fair when she became the target of notorious con artist Anna Delvey. Rachel’s empathy was weaponized by the fake German heiress, who betrayed their friendship and left her with a $62,000 credit card debt after a vacation to Morocco. We'll hear how Anna used classic narcissistic tactics to get close to Rachel and how a friendship can mask the “red flags” we’re used to seeing in a romantic relationship.
I want to hear from you, too. Have a toxic topic you want me to explore? Email me at askdrramani@redtabletalk.com. I just might answer your questions on air.
Guest Bio:
Born and raised in Knoxville, TN, Rachel moved to New York City in 2010 after graduating from Kenyon College in Gambier, OH, and landed her dream job in the photo department at Vanity Fair, where she worked for nearly a decade. Her first book, My Friend Anna: the True Story of a Fake Heiress, published by Gallery Books in July 2019, went on to become a New York Times bestseller and was selected by TIME Magazine as one of the “100 Must-Read Books of the Year.” Today, Rachel continues to write. She also works as a freelance photographer, producer, and creative consultant.
Guest Information:
Rachel’s Instagram - @rdwilliams
Rachel’s Twitter - @rachel_deloache
Rachel’s Book - My Friend Anna: The True Story of a Fake Heiress
This podcast should not be used as a substitute for medical or mental health advice. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical advice, counseling, and/or therapy from a healthcare professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issue, or health inquiry, including matters discussed on this podcast.
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Narcissists are everywhere and these days it seems like everyone has at least one in their lives! Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, will help you spot red flags and heal from the narcissist in your life. Every Thursday, we will hear first-hand accounts from people who know this territory the best, the survivors.
New episodes weekly on iHeartRadio.
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I remember seeing the docu series and being totally disgusted by Anna and feeling bad for Rachel, who gave her card willingly but for a specific intent in a urgent situation. And seeing all the comments afterwards how actually Rachel is the one who's trying to profit by telling her story in a newspaper. Wow.. the amount of people who are just ... not getting it...
For real. It’s cognitively dissonant and going on in other things, as well. Victim blaming is really having a moment.
Just as we study Psychology in schools and college, there should also be a course specific to Narcissism. I love that this channel is doing just that. Thank you for educating us.❤
YES!!!
IMO - narcissism has, unfortunately, always been encouraged, celebrated, admired, and emulated. Just look at some of the figures who humans have idolized in societies world-wide, and throughout history. Due to advanced technology we can now observe and discuss the topic. So glad that Dr. Ramani bring awareness to the personality disorder.
Attention is valuable. That is when you get dupped. Do not give them your attention. Also always rescuing someone is another red flag. Learnt that the hard way.
This new Dr. Ramani venture is amazing. The abusers are so glorified and glamorized that it’s easy to forget that there are real people on the other side and their part of the story is not pretty not entertainment, but great lessons and wisdom can come from listening to them😢
We trade trauma for wisdom
Cole Sprouse
I went through this about 9 months ago. I traveled with this fake narcissistic friend and I was taken advantaged off. I financed her vacation-she never paid me back for the expenses that came out of “her vacation”. Even though I traveled with her, it was all about her and her vacation alone. I confronted her behavior. Guess what? I was gaslighted. She became the victim and I need to make amends plus apologize to her!!!!
#1 Never lend any money to any friends and non bloods. Family be careful too. Be tough say NO.
Rachel know you are not alone there are sooo many of us out here without a voice for one reason or another. In my case as in so many others, no one would believe me. You're a beautiful, intelligent and strong survivor to be admired and I certainly do! Thank you for telling your story and so eloquently. God bless you Dr Ramani for all that you have done and continue to do to expose this increasing phenomena and for always having been my guiding light.XOXOXO
So grateful for the information on these podcasts with real victims of narcissists. Also, thanks for pointing out that anyone can get played by them, and that real damage is done by blaming the victim for the betrayal they suffered. All of it helps me move forward with a healthier, more secure mindset.
This is what helps people see what’s going on this is the best way to do it. Finally I find that what she’s doing makes sense.!!! I always felt like she was a little hard to understand she discussed narcissism. Sometimes I feel like she got it right and other times I felt like it was a little off but now crystal clear.!!!! maybe it’s my learning style. I don’t know that I am an out of the covert, narcissistic relationship and some of the stuff she said what is my experience
I dealt with someone for 6 years..milking me out of $40,000
My own narcissist sibling and in laws (NOW I know) have conned me and blamed me at the same time.
What a take on narcissism Rachel, thank you for sharing. Truth will always prevail. Narcissism is becoming a norm in the society. Scary
"Post-bad behavior manipulation", well said!
It baffles me all the time what assumptions and expectations some ppl have about Dr. Ramani. And sometimes those go straight into entitlement.
"She should do this, shouldn't do that, look like this, shouldn't look like that."
Ask yourself: how would you like it if random ppl from the internet or ppl in general made such comments about you.
Dr. Ramani can do, whatever she feels like. Just like any human being.
I agree with you that Dr. Ramani is absolutely wonderful and can look any way she wants. Part of what makes her so authentic is that we see her relaxed, with or without makeup, on her couch and it is all about authentic, straight-up content. My comment on her heavy makeup is just part of how over-produced this podcast is with the music and dramatic interludes. It's like there is a producer telling her to be more emotional, more sexy, more dramatic. It doesn't seem like her given the hundreds of videos she has put up.
@@sophienyc You seem to have one certain impression about her based on her YT-videos.
I really can't imagine that Dr. Ramani would let herself being pushed into a role on her podcast that she feels unauthentically with. It's one or two facettes more we see and hear about her. On her podcast she's still that warm person who values her guests and treats them with kindness and respect.
@@calizero8503 Ma'am, you are hellbent on a fight and wilfully misunderstanding my point. I remember that stage. All the best to you.
Who is anyone to say what a person should or shouldn't do? I have never liked for someone to say to me, "You should a b c..." or tell me what I will or will not like even if they know me.
What kills me is so many people are idolizing the scammer, and villainizing Rachel for “expecting a friend to pay for her ass”. Dude! Anna invited her!!! You shouldn’t invite people out to things if you’re not planning to pay for it unless you explicitly say beforehand that you expect them to split or pay. This is basic human etiquette.
For real.
I have also been through the Narcissist conning. I am also incensed that the Netflix show glorifies the Narcissist and con and does not delve into the torture that Rachel endured on so many levels and in so many ways throughout the story.
Thank you for this content, it helps me to recognise" friends"...
Silence benefits the abuser.
Speak your truth 😊
Thank you for sharing Rachel’s story.
Yeah, thank you! this is comedy gold, I'm going to use this material for months!
It’s almost like Tinder Swindler. Using someone else’s money 💴 to get by with a promise of paying back
IMO - This entire situation reminds me somewhat of the Silicon Valley female Swindler - Elizabeth Holmes.
Thank you so much for giving her a voice and validating her experience… she has my complete understanding.. resonance overload
Thank you for this video. I feel sorry for what Rachael is facing now. She was trying to scam anyone unlike Anna Sorokin. Yet so many people are glorifying Anna and attacking Rachel
I want to say the brave, enduring, beautiful & intelligent souls like Rachel we need more of in the world. Unfortunately, we live among a massive number of Anna’s (female & male versions) who are the venomous kind we must have a high awareness of & always be on guard. You're a beautiful spirit Rachel who is of good courage & strength. I empathize with your experience, but you my dear are someone people will remember for the dignified individual you are, & that is what matters most. 😊❤️👌
I think discerning is a better word to use than cynical. We don't need to be cynical but we must be discerning. Thanks for an interesting interview.
Our society values someone being able to boldly "pull the wool over someone's eyes" MORE than they value sensitivity/empathy for someone's pain at being tortured and victimized. I think it is sick and scary as society ought to be a "tribe" helping one another. I am afraid where things are headed.
I smiled at the 'pink flag' comment. There's a video in there!
Yes to Yelp for people! As a small business owner I always say that!
I can’t imagine dealing with flying monkeys on that scale! That’s really messed up.
The universe puts people in our path who appear interesting, fun and appealing. We are drawn to them, like moths to flames. Some are real, some are not. The hard part is separating them and doing it before we come to any harm from those that are there to exploit us, either intentionally or unintentionally.
Watching how they behave, with you and others and not just listening to what they say, can provide valuable information that can allow you to protect yourself by helping you gain an understanding of their true self even when they seek to hide it.
Always keep your EYES open when you are listening.
Words squeak, actions speak.
I have experienced this in friendships, too. Thank yoi so much for sharing. I agree: we must stop blaming the victim.
Tell me you come from money and privilege without telling me you come from money and privilege...
That’s what you are getting from Rachel? 🤔
I watched the series and was perplexed. I felt like Dr. Ramani’s videos helped me question the narrative of the show before I watched this podcast! It seemed like everyone was so star struck by Anna that they justified away any of her crimes, including using feminism defense used for Elizabeth Holmes. I did feel really bad for Rachel getting stuck with the bill in Morrocco. I don’t think if I was there I would have not been played. Netflix also portrayed Rachel. as a shallow user and a climber. Even if that was true it didn’t justify what happened.
💯 These days it seems that folks want victims shower victim-y in order to be acceptable as such.
You look great
I agree!
She can choose whatever format or vibe she likes. Move on if you want. That’s your choice. I still ❤ her!
Who is 'she'?
You are a gem, Dr. Ramani, very inspiring and reassuring. Thank you so much ❤
I'm excited to see Anna doing well. I'm gn thru divorce from awful narssasist but I take responsibility for my choices/decisions. I knew how he made me feel... I stayed.... And still I wish him well. I hope Anna & Rachel both do well in life.
Great channel- each experience is unique and helpful to hear.
Really enjoy this discussion. Thank you.
Thanks for posting the link to this, Dr Ramani. Now I've subscribed, finally!
I was always on her side
The Narcissist is often glorified and further enabled and the victim is shamed, which is the biggest problem with society. Luckily Rachel stood up, most wouldnt and that how they get away.
Lolita the book, the pedophile gives the impression he’s in love. Until you see the bigger picture he’s a monster.
Thank you for this interview!
THANK YOU. Friends can love bomb you, too. So can bosses. Then, they breadcrumb you and play the love bomb/discard push-pull game- future-faking.
Attention & TIME and my money was what my 1 yr. narc friend slaughtered me with and I didn't see through the narc, histrionic behaviors - until I did too much and it still wasn't enough for her. I had to walk - ice cold -brutal but over. Thanks girls, keep a keen eye on your girlfriends behaviors & motivations. #lessonlearned
Moral of this story for me is if I am not prepared well enough to take on a new business venture the last thing a person needs to do in order to prepare is to go out and buy too much after getting a break in life that to us seems like a huge windfall however to everyone else living too on this planet that is not ever going to be enough for that kind of planned size right away start up. Moral of this story for me is if I am not prepared well enough when considering the offer to buy into a start up with an attractive looking potential business partner offering us 45% ownership in that business or whatever as part of our contracted partnership then I must insist first on getting together first to count all of both our existing blessings resources which we are each willing to lose if that business fails including seeing on paper actual documents like business bank account balance, title documents, post secondary education transcripts or diplomas and degree documents etc. first. Because well for one thing most tries at running a business for the first time on average fail around 50% of the time. Banks would. So should we if doing a start up on our own or with someone else. While making up our minds if that start up fails not to take it so personally that we would never again attempt a business start-up no matter what while we think too many others as result are now seeing us as a failure and a loser. Including ourselves. Like trolls on social media too.
Rachel got a lot out of Anna and then BOOM 💥 the bill came
Anna got a lot out of some Manhattan hotels and got a lot out of other people's extended family connections too and then BOOM Rachel got the bill next too in a series of Anna run endeavors while all of the DionelyETC types were in the background cheering Anna on while congratulating Anna part of their crowd as being one of the people that saved New York a lot of money. Instead of the current Mayor of New York or any other kind of above board taxpayer supported already established social organization leader instead. Like how some trolls on social media today prefer to credit Randy Ford long after he has died instead of his brother Doug Ford mayor of Toronto for helping to save Toronto money. Well DionelyETC whatever kind of startup you are part of as only a bot here I hope your algorithms are BOOMING only in the Doug Ford way too instead of the Anna Sorokin and in the Randy Ford way.
She still keeps using her name to make money and get publicity.
Missing the dishonesty part
That's not even how it went 🙄
You look gorgeous doctor
This new channel of your Dr. Romani is phenomenal. Thank you
I for one am glad and impressed Rachel powered up! Well done girl!!! ❤🎉 🥳
I was not interested in the "Anna" story, so I know very little, so Rachel I am so thank you for telling your story
i never heard of this story.
Survivor ? Rachel’s a survivor ? Of what taking a luxurious vacation ? Free loading but when the bill came down crying victim ? Why was Rachel even friends with Anna ? Rachel is just as narcissistic but not as smart.
Don't let people gaslight you!!!
Rachel made much more money from her book sales than Anna swindled from her. Anna is a walking money-maker for everyone around her. The embodiment of the American Dream.
The difference is swindled....if you have a conscious
She went to prison for scamming. She is not a role model
Yikes. Such an icky take.
(It’s not all about the money)
They always blame the victim smh
Infuriating at this point.
@@OffbeatsMusic yes!
Neff is a flying monkey. The whole series is absurd. I have to skip it to the ending because it took me so much time to finish it. Having narc, flying monkey and enabler in my life makes my life anxious and depressed already. Watching this series has reignited the trauma. This people are so full of shit. Why can’t u just be like normal people without hidden agenda. Effing sick
Well if you are very shallow and take take take you are more likely to get it back. Racheal took and took. Then when it was all ending and there was nothing left to take she turned on her. Anna did not demand that Rachel hand over her works bank card. Rachel was happy when Anna was paying for everything. It was a very one sided friendship and it was actually Anna who gave the most in it. Rachel has made lots of money of Anna. She lived the high life with Anna until it no longer served her. I don’t think anyone in Anna’s circle were good people. They were all shallow and wanted something from Anna.
when she said toxic people hide their bad behavior behind their quirky/shitty personality being a joke- MARILYN MANSON came to mind
Ya leuk paaaaawwwhhhhh
The bill will always come due nothing is free. Most adults understand that. I feel no sympathy for Rachel. She literally got rich off this story. She’s not traumatized. On top of it she was a willing participant of everything. She was happy to be a free loader only a victim when she had to pay for the luxury life.
dr Ramani is a blessing to us.
And that fake Rockefeller guy
100% children
But it's a 50 50 isn't it? Isnt she famous now because Anna came in to your life?
Why didn't Rachel just decline such and expensive trip from Anna, plus all of the free gifts and services. Doesn't that create a monetary type of friendship.
Because hindsight is 20/20 especially when you are dealing with a charismatic/convincing liar?
Maybe the same reason so many women are taken in by their narcissistic romantic partners?
Rachel seems like a mooch. Anna paid her $5,000 and the American Express card dropped the charges. She was using Anna for her money! Nice people don't sue!! She has made sooooooo much money for her article, book, and movie deals. Maybe they are both living beyond their means? If you can't afford a trip, don't go!
You stayed at the fricken hotel
That’s what people do who are invited on a trip? 🫠
I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. Anyone who ends up in a relationship with a narcissist, has something broken inside of them. No exception. Healthy individuals with a great childhood and parents do not end up in relationships with narcissists. It just doesn’t happen.
That's so untrue... I had a good childhood with loving parents. I was always too trusting, too naive and thinking all people have good intentions. Then I started falling for narcissists, I was an easy target, and they were what broke me and led me to long lasting depression.
@@FourLeafClover92 I’m with you. There is no one who doesn’t have one weakness or another no matter how stable their family and childhood. Sometimes it is exactly the stability and relative shelterdness of the upbringing that makes that person the perfect prey to someone who behaves in a way they’d never expect or encountered.
Booze
She's not a victim of Anna, she's a victim of American culture and capitalism which made her think this was all possible and what she did was totally okay.
A victim of both, I should think.
She is a victim of Anna.
@@rel2202lmfao she just wishes she was iconic like Anna. She's forgettable.
Way to completely excuse a fraudster for their actions and blame “culture” when many people are able to live in this toxic culture and somehow avoid scamming and manipulating their friends.
Some of these takes are so weird. Empathy is a rare thing, indeed.
Jadeth pinketh smith helped produce this podcast?!? But she’s also a narcissist
I love this format but the dramatic tone, the heavy makeup, the theatrical presentation isn't you, Dr. Ramani!
Let the woman wear whatever makeup she wants. Not your place to make assumptions about who she is.
@@AM-qr4ys Watch her other channel, then. Gheesh. Ever had a thought you kept to yourself??
@@tcreative8030 Lol... 😂
@@AM-qr4ys The music only plays for seconds prior to what should be a break. Not at all during the interview. You're so easily distracted! Lol...
@@AM-qr4ys Firstly, nothing is 'clear' and people (including narcs themselves) watch her content for 101 reasons. Secondly, I'm sorry that you're going through something in your personal life. However, that's no excuse to prematurely and immaturely start throwing out the word 'bully' because someone/people happened to express a view point different to yours.
Thirdly, do you know why youtube NOW provides not only a 'comments section' but the ability to use emojies? So that we can use both to accurately express how we feel. If I find something humourous, I am going to laugh. Do you know why? Because I tend to be a person that sees the 'lighter and funny side' in most situations because most situations are NOT that deep or serious!
However, some people thrive in the dark, see negativity in EVERYTHING, like to make everything about them (when it's not!) and make every perceived slight, part of their 'victim' story. That sounds like you with the escalated 'bully' false narrative. How many times have you 'cried wolf' with that tactic?🤔
Anna's minions remind me of Trump's MAGAs. Gasp! -- that makes me wonder what would have happened if those two ever met. *crossesherselfeventhoughsheisnotcatholic*
I mean.... You got the money back an are still crying cause you are the one that offered right? When you offer expect for them to use your card, you aren't suppose to use your business cards... Plus this was the only time this happened an it didn't just happen to you she went through this anxious moment. Also people...this girl is a doctor who wanted to be famous? That's very strange is all I'm saying, an also never makes it her work to heal the people with cluster b, has tons of videos demonizing really serious conditions saying that the people who have the condition can't ever change? An only siding with the "victims of a disorder" which is silly...disorders aren't any more different than abvs3rs...? There's just no difference between abled people an disabled, an when you make that connection you HAVE TO EXPECT A ABLEISM.
Must be you with the cluster B's. I was with one too. They're awful and people should run away. Perhaps some are a little better but others are devils.