I Hired A HITMAN To Kill Everyone I Worked With | BitLife
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- Опубликовано: 1 мар 2020
- I hired a hitman to dispose of everyone I worked with in this Bitlife gameplay video. Is that too much? Maybe, but I can do whatever I want!
Imagine Lifetimes: • I Dated My TEACHER In ...
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Edited by Pixlpit: / @aliceandchill
Outro animation created by Pixlpit:
/ pixlpit
Outro Song created by "Teknoaxe". It's called "I'm everywhere" and you can listen to it here
• TeknoAXE's Royalty Fre... 
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"You bit your co-worker, Emma's, skull!"
"She died from her injuries."
*_WAS THAT THE BITE OF '87?!!_*
Darn, beat me to it.
Faptimus420 damn I was gonna write this and lol fnaf reference
HAHA
Uhh don't R/woooosh me but a skull wouldn't be the bite of '87, if it said the frontal lobe it'd be it.
Faptimus420 Ummm. Prolly. But bitlife ain’t fnaf 4. *IDIOT*
*you failed to find a hitman to take care of your stepfather*
Jack: "he has too much power "
Congrats on the jacksepticeye heart!
Yeah congrats! (I also got one! :D)
Yes, Congrats Fellow Fan!
Congrats!
Congrats
"Your wife called out another man's name during sex."
Jack: "Wait, who's name was it?"
Death note reference 😂 so his wife's name is Ciara (read as Kira) hmmm
It's so he can hire another hitman
Holo Universe My name is Ciara and I cringed every time he pronounced the wife’s name as Kiera.
SierraMist :D that’s the irish pronunciation of ciara
@@HoloUniversee your a member very good person
Someone: *refuses to talk to Paddy*
Paddy: *so you have chosen death*
Ok now that’s just like saruman from lotr
*quite literally*
imagine being his last co-worker
"hey man did you notice that it's only us that went to work today"
I SHOOT WITH BANANAS BOOM BOOM
Better be nice to me
Plz spare my family
@@jacksepticeye oh no, Paddy took over Jacks channel!
Please just don’t use the bees man
“I’m gonna quit while I’m ahead” says Jack as he has spontaneously fallen into major depression.
"Spontaneously".
He only accidentally killed someone and then got scammed by a hitman he sent after his a-hole of a step dad.
Hi Ethan Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
ImFoxy that’s crazy bro
ImFoxy, but why tho
ImFoxy Damn bro, but no one asked.
Game: "She told you to shut up."
Anti disguised as Jack: *ThAt'S tHe WrOnG aNsWeR!!!*
Why is it that this has 666 likes
@@wyattperrett8237 I got lucky, I guess..
Jack: slight inconvenience in his life
Also Jack: Peace was never an option
Paddy: “I’ll bite her skull”
Game: “...and I stabbed her 37 times in the chest”
28 STAB WOUNDS
im sorry.
@@thepeepeepoopooman2194 didn't wanna leave him a chance, huh!
Hi JaraelMoonsilver Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
@@piKKiT_ you stabbed him again and again and again
I-is that Llama with Hats reference...?
Nathan: *Farts.*
Paddy: *I'm about to ruin this man whole life.*
Crop dusting... punishable by death. What a world of straining, pent up butt holes we're making.
yep
More like:
Nathan: Farts
Paddy: I'm about to ruin this PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LIFEFORMS Entire fucking respiratory system!
This is the best bit life vid ever :)
The Comment Crusader I’m not going to like your comment because it’s at 666
When he hired the the hit man his happiness went up to 92%
Someone enjoys murder
Jack: We forgot about paddy Fitzpatrick for a while
Me: We forgot about Minecraft for a while too
Christian Hammond EXACTLY
Christian Hammond so much shade...XD
@@kenzierasmussen442 r/wooosh
🆈🅴🅰︎🅷
@@rekt5507 I don’t think that’s how you woosh
"He apologized and wished me a nice day."
Hitman: *pulls up* Hey, money?
Paddy: Money machine broke.
Hitman: Understandable, have a nice day.
@Anna! I love sех! Тар on my photo no one likes you
Lol
Billy Mays no need to be rude just cuz of the inappropriate name lol
OVERLORD PRODUCTIONS she has a virus in her about page
Hannibal Lecter... I thought he was rich why does he kill people for money if not to eat them? And which version is he the 90s version or the 2015 version? How is paddy not dead yet or is he? Why do I have so many questions?!
Jack: slaps Nathan on nose
Game: 28 STAB WOUNDS!
Omg nostalgia 💯
Detroit XD
Avi Bensimon I literally just finished the series today
YOU DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE HIM A CHANCE, HUH?!
*WAKE UP LIEUTENANT*
I've watched the high pitch "oh Mr. Hannibal" at least twenty times by now. He sounds like a chipmunk
I literally recorded that part so I could watch it forever because I almost peed myself laughing at it the first 5 times😂
16:24 is a replay button :)
@@ily8780 nah
:)
@@ily8780 i hope your username is true
"I'm Happy To Know That Your Body Is 60% Water, Because I'm Thirsty."
If I heard someone say that to me I'd probably go hide lol! 😂😂😂
I love a bad pun so that would probably work on me, ngl. 😂
Rivkah Song It's a pretty dirty pun lol! I wish I had a pun to fit in this! 😂😂😂
I said vampires were real and nobody believed me, whos sorry now
nicole miles I mean I guess that explains why they drink human blood, so they can suck all the water out of you lol! 😂😂😂
it is pretty weird if you imagine it in a deep rumbling voice
Imagine ripping one in someone’s vicinity, so they hire a hitman to kill you
😂😂😂
what? you mean thats not a normal thing to do?
Hi Dixon Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
Pro gamer moment
It must have been a really bad one. Like the kind that could kill someone.
Jack: what person would kill a random prostitute?
Also Jack: kills someone for farting
LOL
Also Jack: the ripper
@@esh4036 OMG haha I never thought of that! It fits perfectly!
"Ciara had a second trimester miscarriage." *Happy music proceeds*
16:19: literally just got shivers down my spine.
16:23: wheezing with the voice changer.
Two different emotions in a span of 5 seconds.
*Ciara pisses him off
Sean: “My hitman fingers are tingling”
😅😂🤣
Cheers for the heart, Sean 🙃
I love sean
Cory Grey
F
That name caught me off guard but my murder weapons start saying that they are the best when I get pissed but it's usually the paring knife but yeah not that odd
Jacksepticeye:
Happiness: 100%
Health: 100%
Smarts: 100%
Looks: well that dosent matter
Me: good message
Wird es in die tegut message because I don't have a pretty face but I am the famous RUclips legend
Hey, I make content :)
Also Jack: "I'm 40, let's commit a crime"
Stfu
@@josephcooper171 Is that really supposed to work?
Jack: I hired a hitman to kill my cow-worker for squeaking a fart in front of me
me: *holds in fart*
Lol
Sean: *tries to murder his stepdad*
No one wants to do it
Sean:HE HAS TOO MUCH POWER
“Maybe because she flicked on of my balls and I couldn’t concentrate”
That seems too realistic to have been made up on the spot. Care to tell us something, Jack?
Storytime : MY BALLS BECAME DYSFUNCTIONAL DURING SEX **GONE SEXUAL**
I am the most famous German of all time and now I'm making English videos for my fans in America
@@AxxLAfriku HI! Hitler
hahaha
@@mukimurco1426 XD
“I have now killed 3 people, should I make it a 4th?”- future serial killer jack, 2020
Hi xxDaMastaBoixX Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
@@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014
Jack the ripper 2020
Hello ImFoxy. I am the master boi.
Jack the Ripper lol
technically isnt it *current* serial killer?
Jack: I just killed someone!
while giggling hysterically
huh. sounds oddly familiar.
"Nathens dead! thats what he gets for squeezing out a fart infront of me!"
Jacksepticeye 2020
This video was 23 minutes and 57 seconds of Jack releasing his inner-Anti
glitchy boi boutta have a fun time
Everyone else: multiple quick lives per episode
Sean: one life over many months
Hi Swan Ronson Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Raw
ImFoxy why am I seeing you comment the same exact thing to everyone’s comments? Like seriously what’s the point
@@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014
i like it a lot better this way tbh
@@Ashtora ye
Can anyone else imagine Jack's girlfriend coming in and see him arguing with the wall like its his wife😄
SHE HAS A NAME
@@CreepDestroyer who
Wall or wife??
@@ythaagruligiztil4813 girlfriend
se2221.
"don't tell kira, ok?? Its gonna be our little secret."
KIRA THERES SOMETHING I GOTTA TELL YOU-
They never got to finish their sentence, the hitman fingers came too fast
Jack: it’s crime time
Me in my head: it’s crime time, it’s crime time, gather all your friends it’s crime time, it’s crime time it’s crime time the only cure for sadness
W-what are you going to do with your friends? Murder them?
@@swiftlyaswiftie killing is fun Hihi🔪🔪🔪
No it should be "the only cure for madness"
I think crime time should be the only cure for boredom.
Ok cool, I wasn't the only one who thought that
Jack: "I Hired A HITMAN To Kill Everyone"
Me: "Man its about time Paddy lost it."
Hi snorseburger btw?????
K1NG sup. I’m not trying to be mean this seems like a bot comment, if it’s not though I looked at a vid of yours and I saw trap town on it I just wanna say watch out for them they are bots.
SnorseBurger i think it’s a bot they’ve been putting this on every comment
Gave you a nice Subscribe 😉
Pixie Passive thanks! Hope my vids don’t disappoint! Although they are kinda trash accept for my recent one
I am in stitches watching this episode 😂😂😂
“Nathan’s dead, that’s what he gets for squeaking out a fart in front of me” 🤣🤣
That’s escalated drastically from a backhand to the nose and a blow to the pancreas 😅😅😅😅😅
Me: *thinks the Hitmen are going to kill the targets with creative ways like Agent-47*
Paul Vitti: *pyromaniac intensifies*
Meet The Pyro
@@azoth2335 yes
"Now that's a lot of damage!"
Childhood memes. Never get old.
Everyone else: tries to become a millionaire in this game
Jack: ''HITMAAN''
RedPanda the absolution lives on
Yes the best route save money then kill them all
Hi redPanda Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
I dont have Bitizen
@@CraftBlox45 you don't need bitzen to become.a millionare
Jack: It's high noon
Overwatch fans, including myself: He said it, he said the thing!
Jack: I'm gonna back hand his nose.
Game: You backhanded your coworker, Nathan's nose! Then you kicked his pancreas altering his insulin levels!
Jack: I did not say that, I did not tell you to go kick his pancreas!!
"Now That's A Lot Of Damage!"
It was super effective!! I laughed so hard lol! 😂😂😂
Ciara: refuses to go to counseling Jack: Ciara! MY HITMAN FINGERS ARE TINGLING!
Jacks title of video:
"I Hired A HITMAN To Kill Everyone I Worked With"
RUclips sees title: this video is not available in your country
NordVPN: Allow us to introduce ourselves...
Hippity hoppity get off my property *This video is sponsored by NordVPN. Click the link in the description and get 69% off your first year.*
(Nice.)
I remember in bit life I was 8 years old and I had a bully, so, I bit her lip, cracked her skull, and pirced her lip. She died from her injuries. I WAS 8!! XD
SAME LOL
16:09 I really enjoyed that conversation about the Stanley Cup, Jack
Jack: “I just killed someone!!”
Wait, what about the people you hired a hit man for?!?!?
I’m Foxy Not Related To the game Tho Btw Rawr
@@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014
@@lyfverse stop spamming this stupid comment
Me: What's the secret to a Positive mental attitude
Jack "Paddy Fitzpatrick" Septiceye: the secret ingredient is crime
Layla: “could you pleas leave me alone for a few minutes. I need to have this work done by 4pm, thank you.
Jack: “so you have chosen, Death”
Right after Jack said: ‘BLOODY NOSE!’ I got a bloody nose.
you're a wizard sean
I love how every chance this game gets it'll remind you that you stole a car 😂
"Yeah your *STOLEN* car's engine broke down, do you wanna repair your *STOLEN* car? The one that you *STOLE?*
Upvoted off 69. No need to thank me
Jack: Crime’s easy
All Australians: yeah look where it got us!!!!
Lol
*Laughs in America*
Lol
Not all Aussies are convicts lol
Omg yes
"Mr.Hannibal!!"
I died lol! 😂😂😂
On bitlife I made the life of Jack and what was crazy that the the dad had brown hair and the mom had green hair just like Jack did!😂
"I tried to talk to my co-worker Sophie about -how many people I've killed- my greatest achievements"
same thing
@@ghostleader1569 ya beat me
@@corruptedproductions5024 lol
Hi salted bean I’m Foxy Not related to the game tho Btw Rawr
@@lyfverse hello
Paddy: 99.9% enjoyment
His wife: 100% enjoyment
Sean: PROBABLY BC SHE FLICKED HIS BALLS AND HE COULDN’T THINK STRAIGHT.
Me: HeY A MaN LiKeS WhAt He LiKeS.
random man: the earth is flat
another man: no its round
Jack: ILL HAVE YOU KNOW ITS A DODECOHEDRON
It’s crime time! And the thing going through my head was “it’s crime time, it’s crime time, gather all your friends it crime time, it’s crime time, it’s crime time, the only way to cure sadness.”
"Let's go for a NO-"
My relationship with the gym.
Hi Kitty Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
@@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014
@@lyfverse 😳uhm
Someone: *doesn't say hello to Jack*
Jack: MY HITMAN FINGERS ARE TINGLING!!
Edit: WOW! I never had this many likes before
Copper Hands
OH HANNIBAL LECTER!
Yes
Got it to 1K likes
How does it only have 4 replies
Gosh damn it why the fuck did you say that now I feckin hate ye
16:24 “OH MR. HANNIBALLLL.” Favorite part 10/10, Mads mikkelsen would be proud
Jack: “ I’m sick and just got a tooth removed ok!” Me watching a video called ‘ I got SO sick’. Me:CORONAVIRUS?!?!
"It's crime time! It's crime time, gather all your friends is crime time! It's crime time! The only cure for anger" 🤣
william fitzpratick: *a nice man with great life and is amazing*
Paddy Fitzpratick: *same thing but a murderer*
Thank you for this great series Jack! My God is Bit-Life Entertaining when Hit man are involved
"Crime is easy"
-Jacksepticeye 2020
Hi 2? Btw???????
Moahaha
*laughs in America*
Jack: Paddy's life is basically perfect at the moment
Also Jack: *It's Crime Time!*
Hi Save the Trees Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
@@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014
That 1_blu3shyguy
Says the shy guy
5:49 I love it how in 24 years on social media, Paddy had 8 posts total. Well done, lad. Some loyal followers you have there. I wonder what he wrote. "See you in 3-4 years"?
Bitlife: so how many people do you want to kill?
Sean: YES!!
The amount of times jack says “paddy Fitzgerald” when their name is “Paddy Fitzpatrick” 😂
Me: * starts the video and sees my parents in the other room*
Also me: ``I should probaly close the door´´
Hi tbw hg btw?????
@@janishere4935 stfu
K1NG stfu
K1NG stfu
K1NG stfu
"imma get my happiness up again, with meditating" ...
Me: gets a advertisement for headspace
its nice to see jack promoting a good message. no matter how ugly you are you can always become a serial killer
1:25 “he had a miscarriage”
Well there’s something you don’t hear everyday
Jaz wills btw????
K1NG stfu
Eh trans men can have miscarriages
“I’m 40. It’s time to start messing shit up”
Me: I did that plenty well at 20. Age is just a number
And life is a simulation ^-^
and the universe is a hologram
buy gold
bye!
Hi Japan Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
Jack: says saoirse
Me: sad Minecraft noises
I wonder if BitLife will add Paddy Fitzpatrick as a hitman name thanks to Jack. His primary weapon would be a floppy banana!
Jack girlfren: *farts in front of him*.
Jack : So YoU hAvE cHosEn DeAtH
David Lydon "bowl movement" 😂
Random fact: brain size doesn't effect intelligence, it's how wrinkled your brain is, if it's smooth, you're extremely dumb, if it's extremely wrinkled, you're extremely intelligent, so if you're in a argument with someone, say that their brain is smooth
U smol brain
@@abdullahaposaga9344 ok smooth brain
wrinkled brain moment
My brains pretty much polished
When the nerd bullies you
Idk how seán does it.. he's made 4, at least 15 min long videos on a single life and not 1 second is boring.. this is why i love him
There’s actually a play based similarly to this situation. A woman who works in an office, comes to work and shoots up her coworkers and only spares the people who were nice to her or showed up to her birthday party the night before.
*Paddy starts killing people*
Jack: *antisepticeye had joined the chat*
Hi pond_ cosplays Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
Jack : uses old intro in two consecutive vids
Veterans : oi oi oi oi oi oi
Ever thought about how the word “lowkey” is a homonym for “Loki” as in Thor’s brother? Life’s crazy bro
@@ellw7830 indeed
69 likes nice
Jack:we don’t care about Pakistan
The Pakistani viewers: visible anger
I’m Pakistani 😭
Like sad times guess i'm dead now XD
14:23 it’s crime time it’s crime time, gather all ur friends it’s crime time, it’s crime time, the only cure for living
Strait after *Jack: Evelyn...Wanna build a pillow fort*
Paddy is like the quiet kid, killing people who are mean to him
Person in BitLife: does one thing wrong.
Sean: here I go killing again
Felix: "This video is sponsored by Don't tell Marzia Productions"
-Jack- Paddy: *_shhhh_* don't tell Ciara
Hi aleula Im Foxy not Related To the Game tho Btw Rawr
UnusAnus: *Coughs in Amy*
@@lyfverse go and crawl back to 2014
OTTO no one cares shut up
Unus annus: Amy don’t watch this video
I’m a simple girl.
I see “Hannibal Lecter” I hope and pray for Mads Mikkelsen
Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen ...uh no.
Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen again, not me. It’s Latisha Vivian, not Vivian van pelt.
Yeah don't trust the any version of Hannibal let alone the Mads, version who has killed hundreds of people and made a man eat his face off.
Smitty WerbenJagerManJensen did you just ask this real life human person you've encountered on a random youtube comment with an entirely different name if they are a character from a fiction movie? Lol
Jack: Hires hitman to kill coworker
"Thats a secret between us"
Me: report to HR!
Jack's logic: Lily needs to concentrate on her work so she can get paid and feed her family. Jack I will buy a hitman for 1 trillion dollars to wipe your soul out for that.
Jacksepticeye logic
It feels weird, for Jack not cursing like a sailor and screaming 24/7 but honestly still love him.
It feels even weirder that he started killing like Kevin does
16:20 don’t mind me just making a time stamp of Jacks voice affect thing
So funny 😂
When the anti in Jack is brought out because of bitlife
@@lemon_scented_rat4559 yes I was thinking about it when I seen it. Lol
The “ohh Mr. Hannibal!” fucking KILLED me 🤣🤣
jack: easily decides to hire hitmen to kill anyone who won't speak to him
also jack: horrified "I killed someone!"
Jack: *backhands his coworker's nose*
BitLife: "And then you kick them in the pancreas, altering their insulin levels."
Jack: *surprised Pikachu face*
this is amazing lmfao
Nathan: * toot*
Paddy: " OFF WITH HIS HEAD! "
Emma: *starts a rumor that paddy thinks the Earth is flat*
Paddy: it's murder time it's murder time the only cure for rumors
Tip- you can live a longer life by going to the gym, the library, and getting alternative medicine. (I recommend cologne cleanse). The library and gym can also make your happiness go up. To get on better terms with co-workers, compliment them first.
LOL I didn’t expect this one to be continued 😂
I love these videos Jack, its just continuous laughter from me, love it bro!!❤️
When you are watching Jacksepticeye at 12: 00 and your volume is at its lowest-yet his screams still echo through out your house and your family is confused of why they hear an Irishman screaming
Fair enough 😂😂
Jack: Please RUclips it was a joke, send my vid to all of my subs
Me: doesn't get notification