What to do at night when you can't sleep. A BEGINNER'S path to insomnia-free life
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- Опубликовано: 2 июл 2024
- If you've been tossing and turning at night without knowing what to do, this video may be just what you need. This video is the introduction to the new insomnia-free philosophy. For those who are more advanced on this path, you can subscribe to my newsletter (links below) to dive deeper into the nuances of the philosophy.
00:00 Intro
01:34 How we spend wakefulness determines our future with sleep
02:11 What defines a "good" helpful activity
04:37 Negative picture of wakefulness
05:12 You are free to choose your activities
06:04 Facing the truth
07:20 Different way to look at wakefulness
08:40 Creating a new memory to set you free
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DISCLAIMER: Not medical advice. Everything on this channel represents personal opinion and experience and is provided for informational purposes only. The author is not a medical doctor, psychotherapist or any other licensed professional. Any information on this channel does not constitute and/or substitute medical, psychotherapy, counselling or any other professional advice and treatment. It is not intended to treat, cure, diagnose any medical or psychological condition or disorder. Always seek professional licensed help if you have any health concerns.
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What to read next
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My other resources & links
💌 Weekly Newsletter (Sleep Talks Letters): sleeptalks.substack.com/
👋 Follow me on Instagram: / sleeptalks.ali
❤️🩹 Read my insomnia recovery story: www.sleepcoach.sk/my-insomnia...
📣 Work with me (1-1): www.sleepcoach.sk/contact-me/
Special thanks to Sarah, Santiago, Gigi, Liza and Anna for supporting me on Patreon - you are the best!
If you wish to support my work on Patreon too ❤️: / sleeptalks
I found that praying for others works wonders... Within 5 minutes I am back to sleep
1. Thank god for all the good things you got
2. Pray for your family
3. Pray for your neighbors
4. Pray for your co workers
.... Trust me.. You will be asleep by now
I would just start worrying about them.
@@annechappee8825 read Matthew chapter 6
Everything you're saying is GOLD. I joined the insomnia team a few months ago, severely, because of stress from work, and your videos are such helpful tools. Thank you a million times 🙏🏻
You are not alone!! Im now going through all this stuff now also!!
About half a year into my recovery now. The second tip has been very useful. I don't usually go downstairs when I can't sleep and just sit on the floor of my bedroom. I have a very specific book that I like to read, but I only allow myself to read it when I can't sleep. So, when I've been tossing and turning for too long, I'm met with the comforting idea that I can continue reading that book again. I always wanna keep reading, but at some point I just get too sleepy. Fighting a paradox with a paradox!
I can't thank you enough for sharing all this helpfull information! I love that you don't just repeat some general advice from ACT or CBTI, but instead giving insight in what did work for you and might for others. It really resonates with me and i feel like your video's are helping me a lot on my journey to recovery!
Excellent video, this makes wakefulness not seem so bad and i cannot wait for the paradoxical shift to happen. Some excellent sentences that will stay with me around having no control over sleep and that we cannot force it. Have to keep remembering that.
Have been having trouble sleeping and came across your video. Makes a lot of sense. Appreciate your insights.
Thank you so much for this video. I was scared of doing something pleasant in case it would reinforce my wakefulness but as everything I’ve tried so far hasn’t helped, I’m going to follow your method as an experiment. I’ll be making a list of pleasant things to do when I wake at 2.30am and then putting it in to action. Many thanks again
Great video!!
Your channel has been a God's send , thank you
Thank you coach Alina you’re the best ❤
Thank you Alina for this video. 🛌💤🇨🇦
Ur videos are very comforting to me but I must ask, how do u deal with insomnia headaches?
Your an angel! How can I hire you?
I find getting up and going to another room is the best thing, especially if I'm having a hard time befriending wakefulness.
The one piece I feel isn't covered enough is those of us that have physical anxiety symptoms that occur when we begin to worry. Those sensations (palpitations, butterflies, etc.) tend to rev up our system even more and it's harder to befriend wakefulness when your system is that aroused. Befriending wakefulness is a lot harder in this case.
Some of us are hard wired with physical anxiety from trauma that we haven't dealt with. This tends to add another layer to insomnia.
So I would recommend if you have a hyped up nervous system to find tools during the day to calm the body. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed. But doing whatever you can to support your nervous system (exercise, vitamin B, etc.) to help with nerves. I feel my insomnia wouldn't have been as bad without those added symptoms.
I agree, anxiety can be very physical. I think it is not uncommon for people with insomnia.
I had a very strong painful feeling in my shoulders and arms when I was in a full blown anxiety mode. It was beyond just scary thoughts and I was dreading that feeling. For me, getting up for a while was the best reset button for such physical pain. And definitely - anything that helps you alleviate the suffering, at night or during the day is worth considering.
@@FearlessSleep Yep! I had a racing heart so it was very hard to accept wakefulness when you can physically feel your heart in stress mode. But yes, I agree with your solution. Getting up was the key. That was how I got out of it. I wish I had realized this sooner!
@@quickpstuts412 That’s a great insight and it is particularly powerful because you came to it through trial and error 😊
knowledge that I got through experiencing something personally turned out to be most powerful
What are some befriending tips for things to do during my “wakefulness”in the middle of the night?
Hi Alina, I find that when I try to get up and do something I enjoy it always becomes a sleep effort that increases my anxiety… what should someone like me do in this case? I still have not yet been able to befriend wakefulness despite being many many months into insomnia.
Thank you Alina for another wonderful video. Chronic insomnia for 3 years
I would love to know how you can get over the pure exhaustion from only getting 2 to 3 hours a night? Especially if you need to be up at work 6am? I don't know if anything can help this horrible feeling?
May God Bless you
Hi Michael, sorry it's been tough for you. Since there are things like work that we can't just easily disregard, I find that thinking about ways to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself on those tough days can provide comfort that can lead to less anxiety around not getting enough sleep. Usually, it is not the fact that we slept less that bothers us, but what it means to us. Sometimes people feel like they are failing if they can't sleep and in this case, showing that you can still have a meaningful day can remove some of that fear. We often become too judgemental and demanding on ourselves, we pressure ourselves to be super productive - but sometimes maybe what we need is to give ourselves a break and stay kind on ourselves. Hope this makes sense!
@@FearlessSleep thank you Alina for your kind words of encouragement
I always feel guilty if I can't sleep then wasting the next day because I don't have the mental or physical energy to do anything but rest.....but that makes me feel guilt. I'll try think of it differently now and see it as a gift that I should be kind to myself and rest the day out. Thank you Alina 💝
Thank u alina currently iam struggling with dis education from Daniels channel,,which isn’t seem to be working for me yet,, but u explaination made things bit more clearer
Happy it helped a bit! :)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with us, it’s really helpful. I’m wondering if you have a video on how to befriend the daytime suffering from fatigue, brain fog, very very bad mood that’s coming from fatigue…I don’t have any problems being awakened from 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning, I have lot of things to do. But I’m stuck because I can’t deal with the daytime fatigue, I feel that has more power on me than I have on it…. I have struggled with sleep for 3 years now. I also have 3 attention seeker children and one husband and I feel very bad that I can’t give them the attention that they need from me because I’m soooooo tired. Thank you in advance Alina! Zsuzsa♥️
Hi Zsuzsa! Thanks for being here and sharing your story. You know, I don't think I have such video but it is a good topic indeed! I will think of an episode on that question. My immediate thoughts here is that we don't have to force befriending if it doesn't go easy. Sometimes it's good to show ourselves that it's okay to not like what we are experiencing. We all have preferences and I'm sure that if we'd have a choice to feel fatigued or feel refreshed we'd choose the latter. So the point of "befriending" isn't about liking the experience, but recognizing it for what it really is (as Daniel Erichsen puts it - a battle scar from the past battle with sleep which disappears once the battle stops) and providing ourselves the best care we can on the tough day. Hope this brings some clarity!
@@FearlessSleep Thank you so much, I’ve got the message: don’t force anything, just let it be as it is😊 I can’t wait for that video though ♥️🎈
Yes also looking for that video, what sometimes keeps me awake is the dread of the day after and how bad I will feel, things like sore throat, headache, not being able to perform and just waiting for bedtime again. That experience then is worse than the wakefulness.
The last 2 years I’ve only had “restful” sleep for about 5hrs once every week otherwise it’s a light, sleep not feeling totally refreshed when I get up at the same time every morning. It’s a frustrating feeling thinking I’ll never get normal sleep ever again. Is this “normal” insomnia!
Great. Wish you would speak a little louder or have a better microphone.
Hw to deal ur lack of energy or d dullness in ur head d next day
Hi alina..since I can't feel sleepy enough should I rather close my eyes & just rest. Without trying to or forcing to sleep should I just close my eyes n rest?
Because I live in a different time zone - Thailand - when I can't sleep I choose to watch sport from Europe - football, snooker - I love watching these sports in daytime as well - I also have youtube channel and I edit my videos which I also do in the daytime - I do these activities for about half an hour or longer depending on activity - football match is 90 minutes for example - editing a video varies - I then return too bed and see if my brain will let me sleep - I know I can't control sleep but my brain does - Are my activities sleep efforts - I think not but sure I do them to make me feel productive and of course I don't get anxious - What do you feel about this - 5 days ago I slept over 6 hrs in 3 chunks now the last few days I am getting 1 0r 2 and it is making me angry and often bored - is this telling my brain to punish me for my anger and boredom
Some people have a sleeping pattern where they sleep one day and maybe stay awake 2 days and then sleep again. How does one even tackle such a situation. Every night awake is frustrating even if we’re doing something exciting, thinking about the future sleepless nights
How long should you do that activity - is the aim to tell your brain you are OK doing it - I struggle with doing an activity all night or for a long duration
You don't have to do an activity the whole night! You can even change your mind in the process if the activity you picked no longer seems favourable. For example, when I didn't feel comfortable in bed I would choose to go on a couch and just be there watch something. But sometimes, after like 5 minutes, I would feel like I no longer wanted to be doing that and I would rather go to bed, then I would allow myself to go back to bed. Flexibility and comfort are a good indicators in how to spend wakefulness in a way that can change your relationship with it - it doesn't really matter how long you do it. Hope this helps!
Thanks What about reading a book and enjoying the content - could this be interpreted by your brain as a sleep effort because you will stop it later and then close your eyes to relax@@FearlessSleep
What about going for a walk? I normally don’t have trouble going to sleep but I only get about 4 to 5 hours and wake up and can’t go back to sleep.
Going for a walk sounds nice - if you find it nice too, then why not :)
Insomnia for more than 40 years. Losing hope.