How to Deal with Toxic, Jealous, Insecure Coworkers
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- Опубликовано: 10 июн 2024
- One of the most common questions I get asked about is how to deal with toxic coworkers who are insecure and love to gossip about you in the workplace. In today’s video, I want to share with you some insights on WHY exactly this may be happening to you and as I always am, I’ll be fully transparent about this and it is likely advice that you haven’t heard anywhere else. If you've been asking "how to deal with toxic coworkers", "how to handle difficult employees", "how to deal with jealous people", then this video is for you!
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• How to Deal with Toxic... 
Хобби
Management usually supports the narcissists and toxic people. Never tell management about what is happening, just smile, sharpen your resume and look for another job.
true
@@mini0777 cant keep running away
mini0777 good point, they are in every job but it depends if you can tolerate it, how much time you have to spend with them, if you have other coworkers who aren’t flying monkeys. Im thinking of transitioning into a home based or internet business.
Yes, that is the battle plan.
Safe advice.
insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet
Yes you are right
Ohhh, I like this comment.
YES!!!
Never heard that before but ur right.i like it.
Ooooo I love this!!
My observation at work is that insecure or toxic workers who have things to say about others tend to group together. This doesn't surprise me at all, as they would not have the confidence to do it alone.
True
Trueeeeeeeee
True
Yes so true.
true👍
You always hear how people leave jobs because of managers, but I think it’s mostly due to horrible coworkers
Absolutely. Sometimes management isn't the core issue, the workers themselves are the source of tension.
My toxic coworker is the bosses niece, so I can't win.
Horrible coworkers mean the management isn’t doing its job, so, yes, employees don’t quit jobs, they quit bad managers.
Its both managers and coworkers
And the mangers enabling it
being silent when a fool tries to mess with you is a golden rule
But the problem is if the fool has reach either as a direct boss or being a good friend with the boss , staying silent will get you in trouble still 🤔.
Best way I say is keep meticulous records on what everyone is doing specially the problem employees and call it out when the boss or management start talking smack
This is happening to my best friend she’s a very smart woman and very attractive and I see how jealous her co workers are and it’s all women most. I don’t understand why women can’t stick together and work together.
Yeah, I am being harassed severely by women at my workplace. I found out most of these women are with losers and are in dismal relationships. These women, including managers apparently search for the most decent and respectable woman and just tear her to pieces with nasty innuendo and complete out sexual harassment.
Exactly. This days I have the same problems that’s why I start to search in RUclips how to handle it
My last boss walked up to me and snapped my work pants and told me they were too tight I quit so fast I didn’t report the sexual harassment also I’m scared about going back to work as a curvy black women cause ppl keep sexualizeing my body even though I cover up and we’re the right attire
She was a female too
It's happening to me too so I search in so many ways what to do with my jealousy leaders and my coworkers to be honest in my company I am the most perfect in every way I believe myself I will be the company manager and the boss needed person hehehee
That whole "you get what you give" notion is half true. I am nothing but nice to coworkers and they are still nasty, passive aggressive and immature. Yes, it's s reflection on them and not me, but it sure is exhausting every...day...of...the...week. I stay in my office for the most part. Do they see that as aloof? Stuck up? Icy? Doesn't matter. They treat me horribly no matter what I do. Go in. Be professional. Do your job. Call it a day.
Same here. First experience of work at 22 and got caught in a pit of mean snakes. :))) Im nothing but nice but they are not
Exactly!!! It completely takes out the fact that ppl actually are treated unfairly and discriminated against for nefarious reasons. It’s never the victims fault dude.
Period. The latter part of your comment.
🎯🎯🎯🎯
@@SEAndies exactly. Some weird victim-blaming crap in this vid and others.
I am a confident person. I know my weaknesses and strengths. I like to uplift others. I do not waste time on gossiping so I usually get attacked by envious people and gossipers. I became hateful of socializing. I don’t want to hangout with others. I feel like they will be two faced too and they tend to be jealous, i am so exhausted of people who are envious. I get drained,
EDIT: I was born into an upper middle class family and people usually assume when you are born privileged is that you will never experience bullying or hardships. --that is not true. I am an introvert and I just like to do what I think will inspire, motivate me. I have many hobbies. I spend my time honing my skills and what interests me. But I usually attract 2faced people, envious people. I also get noticed easily because I am tall like a model as what others say. The thing is parents should always guide their kids so they can grow up as mature, loving adults not hateful and envious. Many parents are also responsible for the growth mindset of their kids because tbh usually the adults that we know that are envious and hateful are those that were not guided well by their parents. They were not taught that the world is not fair but that doesn't mean they have to be unfair to everyone they meet especially to people who they feel that are ahead of them in life. They should work hard and be patient.
I wish I can conquer my fear of making friends again. For now, all of my friendships are surface level. I am afraid to be close to people because I really had many bad experiences with people pretending to be my friends. :< many people are so insecure that they deflect it on other people. They should do shadow work
Agreed.
Me too
You are who they wish they could be . I can relate. Work from home if possible. Best thing ever. No more jealousy because what’s funny is - it’s never about work... it’s personal.
Understand you
@@milan51259 Trading and investing is my goal. How long did it take you to become a millionaire?
I had a job once where I was the only single employee. I worked with a lot of older divorced or bitter people. I was getting promoted fast and purchased my first new car and other things. It caused nothing but jealous coworkers. They were out to get me. If I took a vacation. They would say. Vacation again? Must be nice. My coworkers treated me like I did not deserve it. It eventually got me fired. I was at my job for 7 years. I had an employee of 1 year get me terminated. My company believed him over me. My current job I don’t ever talk about anything I own or have.
That’s crazy smh, people are to much
Lol 'must be nice' 🤣 idda been like 'Yup, it sure is'
Moving in silence is power
So true! Staying low key is the key.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, what horrible jealous people omg! I hope your happy in your new job. It's best to not talk about anything personal with other co-workers no matter how nice they seem.
I stay in my own lane and keep it professional. That alone speaks for itself and shuts down that toxic, immature behavior.
Sorry it's outta the topic but your comment reminds me of a song. Staying in your own lane and shutting down. Okay have a great day 😘
@@wottagirlray9141 blackpink shutdown?
Sorry but I don’t agree with the second part. We all have insecurities but when we act positive and do what’s best for the company, toxic people still attack. I agree it’s not personal though.
Yes, I get attacked a lot when I'm happy. They also envy our joy
I took this as positivity= confidence. Especially when they try it and you recognize it but don’t give them the wanted attention they crave.
Had a girl at my job train me and laugh at my mistakes. I would never entertain it. The other day she tried doing it again in front of everyone and I shut her down. When I came in the next day she didn’t even look at me I swear. You gotta beat them with resilience and confidence.
@@kreativekommoner5425 so true.. everywhere the negative and toxic people hate the joyful positive ones for no other reason. Jealousy is like the grave.
Sanjana, The toxic workers don't care if you are happy, sad, or just don't feel well. They attack you no matter what. They are just evil very self centered people, I know all about these types of people. Been dealing with them for years they never change only get worse. They then threaten you with violence and then it sometimes comes to head, and at this point you must report them to authorities. Your boss or your superior.
But it could help how you see things. You won't care that much as before because you shifted how you think. I believed it will be very beneficial to you as you change how you perceive things
I’m glad I don’t have to deal with this anymore because I’m a secret lottery winner.
Lord I pray too .
Barbara Henderson lol
You go girl, congratulations!!🎉🎊🍾🎈
Congratulations! yes it’s very hard to deal . Either having your own business or working in a separate space Is better
Awesome !!
It appears a high level of toxicity is becoming the norm in the workplace. It's unfortunate because it takes a toll on an employee's well being. It's even more of a shame when this toxic work environment is enabled by management. So many organizations preach about mental health they should practice what they preach, especially when it comes to harassment. True one must take care of their own well being and heal from any past pains, however, there is a point no matter how confident or not the individual is that they have to remove themselves from "emotional vampires."
Paola this is so true!
This is so very true. Toxicity is becoming the norm in the workplace and management either ignores it or as in my case, encourages it. I resigned from my corporate job of 11 years because of targeting and bullying from my coworkers and managers. HR was basically useless and HR takes the side of the company not the workers. The environment was extremely toxic, and still is. Sad that companies allow this type of behavior to thrive and think it's normal.
These workplace harassers are a reflection of poor leadership in management. The workplace consists of people with different personalities, to bully somebody to fulfill some kind of emotional void is intolerable, and management should set the tone that this toxicity is unacceptable. There should be Workplace Nannies to take care of the "emotional vampires." LOL. If you are looking for a job, hope you find one with a great work culture.
A gentle and a sweet, innocent soul can come from any place, any background. It is the nature of the soul and it cannot really change on the inside. A soul like this may come to believe the tauntings of the circumstances in life, and of the people who created those circumstances, with only memories of the true reflection of who it (the soul) really is. The downfall begins when a beautiful soul starts to believe that it is not beautiful.
@@tasshakenbake9314 I am so sorry that you had to resign because of their harassment dear! You should have brought in lawyers to sue this company for causing you so much grief
False when your positive they will try you more.
Probably depends on the type of toxic person you are dealing with. I have a totally psychopathic coworker who absolutely targets anyone who appears happy. I have found that if i just pretend to be generally glum in her presence she leaves me alone. The minute she thinks you are happy she seems to need to take you out. The key with her type of crazy is to avoid giving her any information about yourself in any regard, you really need to master the brush off.
Right
If they keep messing with me I will finally let them have it they will keep messing with you if you don't say something to them.
She said there were both types, only the ones who feed on negativity back off when faced with confidence. The others are jealous of confidence and frankly, I wouldn’t work for management that tolerates such nonsense. It’s bad management, and gossipers and little trolls need to be fired. They’re bad for business.
I once left a job because all the men were getting fired by a sexually harassing female, who really didn’t even have the right to fire them, but the owner was too much of a wimp to stop her. I told him I would not work for someone that was going to mismanage the business so badly, and allow a crazy psycho to fire men because they wouldn’t sleep with the hateful be-atch, who took it upon herself to boss her coworkers around (she wasn’t my coworker, I would never put up with that crap).
Once, she asked me why she couldn’t find a nice guy. I told her you have to be a nice girl to get a nice guy, and that she was a bitch. (I’m a really honest person). My position had nothing to do with her department, and I was sovereign unto my own custom position. When the third male was fired because he refused her advances, (when he clearly had a perfectly-matched-to-him girlfriend, an adorable couple), the one before that was married, and the one before that just had good sense not to get tangled up in the likes of her, all excellent workers, I told him to wait, come sit with me and talk it out, and I would pack my stuff up and leave with him, and I did. I assured him he did nothing wrong, he was an excellent worker, and she was just jealous of his girlfriend, and that he belonged somewhere better and I would always vouch for him. He did go on to a much better place and did very well for himself, and I knew he would, and I was happy to see him doing well.
I told the owner of the business that he would be out of business in six months flat and lose his custom designed building that he was just finishing up, if he didn’t get rid of her. He didn’t heed the warning, and he was indeed out of business in less than 6 months, and had to sell his brand-new building...and go work for someone else in a lousy place. I had no pity. I can see what’s wrong with a business straight up, and if they don’t resolve it, they’re out of business... Every time I’ve noticed something wrong with the business that’s driving people away, and told them what to do to fix it, if they did it their business did well and if they didn’t do it they were out of business pretty quickly, never more than a year. I think it’s just one of those things that’s obvious to outsiders, and business owners should listen.
All in all, if management is supporting toxic people, it’s time to work somewhere else. No job is worth a degrading, toxic and childish working environment. You might as well leave the ship before it sinks, anyway... it’s also a good habit to look around for new jobs every six months even if you’re happy, so you don’t miss out on a growth opportunity.
Exactly!! I started a new job just three weeks ago with positive energy, confidence, and excitement and immediately the 2nd day I was there, the attitudes, the undermining, the bullying started. My two co workers, one large obese woman, and one black woman who won't look at me and mumbles at me when I ask a question, huddle together and whisper. They are horrible. I don't want to look for another job..I enjoy the job, and my managers. Wtf!
I know in my heart of hearts that my coworker is jealous, but that still doesn't stop me feeling hurt by her behavior.
how do you do that
this is tooo prevalent in nursing. it’s awful. come to work with a stitch of makeup on your face or get your lashes done or whatever - girls hate you. you can’t be pretty and smart at the same time.
Girl yes!!
I heard that before.
Omg same
Many people will put you or keep you shoved under a rock because they see you as a threat or competition. They will do this, even if it were someone else. So it’s actually not personal to you, remind yourself of this, that it’s a tactic based solely on their insecurity of their own lack of skills or talent. Like in sports when they play mind tricks with the opponent! Wearing makeup is a way to add to your role of dressing up for public to enhance a more pleasing look that can make you appear to care about your appearance in a healthy way and even look more approachable. Too much can look like you are trying too hard. I had someone say this to me at one job and at a different type of job I noticed that I would get more tips when I wore it. It looks polished, to complete a nicer appearance. It’s the individual’s choice.
I left sooo many jobs because of females who were threatened and in some cases, even the males and they tried to say it was my perception, but no, I've heard conversations about others and myself.
There's always someone who wants to blow out your candle to make theirs shine brighter.
Nah, their candle burned out a long time ago and they want yours dark too.
@@wiseowl2020 I think you've missed the point.
@@wiseowl2020 and...... you still miss the point. Look up quote and apply it to the original post I'm commenting on here.
@@BR17117 BYE
@@wiseowl2020 yep good see ya....😊
Great video, however, the real challenge here is keeping your positivity while surrounded by a lot of negativity. I can tell you from experience that whenever I was the new girl on a job, I would come in with great attitude, willingness to cooperate, contribute to company’s values, etc. And, believe it or not, having a great attitude can also trigger toxic people to a very dangerous level. So dangerous, that in my very first experience as a full time employee, coworkers did not stop the gossiping with our boss until they were the heroes of the story and I was the villain who did everything wrong. Needless to say I got fired, later on, my former boss was too proud to call me herself so she sent one of the hypocrites to contact me and tell me if I wanted to come back. I did need the job but I politely answered that I think she has an extremely talented team and competent, why would she want me back? She never apologized nor did she ever admit to making a mistake in letting me go. Took me many months to find a new job, but would not go back there even if doubled the salary.
Great point Ana, there are situations like that too, co-workers try to keep pick-up on some situations and go and tell the manager in 1:1 meetings, especially if you are a new employee the person who has been there earlier wants to know everything and don't want to tell you much when you ask but amplify your Small mistakes in a bigger way to the manger in their one on one meeting.
It also happened to me ..same story..but the manager asked for appologize, but i didnt wanna back cause the team contain of toxic people which they intimidated all new employee include the former person who also had resign
Thank you for sharing your story. I am going through the same exact thing. I am in a new area, and I am being played like a fiddle with all the games the coworker is doing. I don't know what I am going to do.
Honey I am being given the silent treatment by a jealous and insecure coworker, she is obese, less skilled and practices poor hygiene while I am slender, more skilled and careful re respecting hygiene esp in these times. As a new hire, I made the mistake of telling management about this ( rudeness, silent treatment, no info sharing) and now they see this as a interpersonal conflict which both of us created. Most managers support the toxic and narcissistic person.
Low-down, low-life -bastards, they will reap what they sow, payback coming.
My Mom used to say Remember, you are there to work not make friends. If you meet a few friends along the path great, but don’t forget your primary purpose for being there. It’s not social hour, it’s work.” She also used to say
• Thats why it’s called WORK not FUN! “
Lastly, if the environment isn’t a fit for you, look for a different job & be sure to give proper notice .
They hate on you even if you keep your life and work separate. They come at you with does she think she is better than us. No matter what you do you cannot change people. You can only change yourself, by making yourself stronger to not allow anyone to mess with your peace of mind. Sometimes, it is hard though because u feel that no matter where you go you get attacked by some bad apple who influences others and creates groups. Either way there is no win win situation unless you find something quick or start working for yourself. Crazy how cringy society has become. I personally just want to go do my job be professional and go home. Don't want to deal with noones bs, and drama. There is so many that all they do in the workplace is gossip, complain, whining...its just pathetic, and draining..🙄 😒 😑
Just because you look like it like just "work" it doesn't mean it's going to go that way people at so-called "work" will make it a point that the want to bring their BS to you it's yeah annoying but if management doesn't do anything about it or of you know management won't because they are close with that person then sad to say but better to keep looking for another job it's a shame people have to quit over it but people at work make it so difficult you have but no choice but to leave
Exactly, I just focus on getting that pay check.
I am going to use this one
Coworkers that have given me problems have always been severely overweight. At the time i never thought middle aged men could be so catty.
I get it. I'm a woman and I work out often. All my haters are fat women. Young and old lol
Twelly93 im a guy, i work out but not a body builder type. Just average and my haters are the fatties tbh. I don’t get it
crab mentality i guess
You are what you eat
Look’s are only part of their insecurity. It may be the way some’s childhood was. Or just a personality type, but if everyone had the desire to balance themselves by the drive to learn to want a better way to be and believe that they can attempt to change. Maybe they can’t change their weight, but they can make steps toward a better attitude. I’ve seen it happen with a relative of mine seeing a councilor. She changed and kept up with it.
I suffer from crippling anxiety and depression as well as a learning disability. I recently got backstabbed by a coworker who was training me under a new job position. Whenever I mess up, she gets pissed. I noticed that when she was training me she was very nice but talked about coworkers behind their backs. Now she hangs out with those same coworkers like their bffs and she talks behind my back, getting unreasonably angry when I mess up (only been doing this job for maybe 2 1/2 weeks like wtf) it made me cry because I kept making mistakes and she kept yelling at me and it really hurt. It's not as easy as you think to keep a positive attitude around toxic people....
Happens more often than you know. It’s ridiculous.
Be strong..
I'm right there with you praying for you
Your situation is exactly what I'm currently experiencing. It's like we're dealing with the same person.
Sorry to hear that
People are so wicked
Bé strong ❤️
how are you now?
I feel like certain female managers and co workers are jealous of me because I’m to care free , I love laughing, I’m nice and I dress cute . I have a husband who loves me , I get male attention. I carry myself like I’m my own boss.
YAS QUEEN 👑
Same Queen. enough is ENOUGH with them!
Queen! I'm like that too👑💃
This
What I constantly deal with we might be twins
"Understanding where they are coming from" does NOT work!!! Trust me.
I HAVE understood my coworkers, some better than themselves, but understanding only goes so far - you can show them compassion, empathy, etc. - but what if they collectively actively try to sabotage your career regardless? You need not only understand - you need to understand and take the necessary actions to mitigate sabotage.
I agree
I'll leave that workplace as fast as I can
Agreed
Agree, you can understand them but they’re not going to change. You just need to understand your workplace is toxic and you will have to eventually transition.
Exactly! Love the topic but these ppl are malicious and will try an ruin u if given the chance
Omg I needed this video right now. I hope someday I can work with coworkers that aren’t toxic😔🙏🏽
Ingrid Avila 😉😉😉
Or Boss/Manager
I feel like every job has toxic ppl it's just what a job environment is. Everyone talking behide each others back. I just ingore them and honestly couple of times i had to talk back and have a full blown argument with these ppl until they just shut up. Now I'm just a asshole or hard headed lol oh well.
Same here 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Im going thru the same situations. I have 1 horrible co worker. My only co worker and im miserable every day😔😔
Remember that you DESERVE to be there. Stand up for yourself professionally. But also keep in mind that if it has nothing to do with you, to keep moving.
Amen
I don’t trust my coworkers... and for good reason. If the gossip about others to me, I’m sure they also gossip about me to others... if that’s why they feel I’m projecting “negative energy” then I don’t need to care, they never deserved my attention... also I hate small talk... this one coworker is always asking about my personal life including my girlfriend.... it’s annoying and counterproductive... what does she gain from that information?!?
Some people at work are just nosy that they think they are entitled to know your personal life. People think they are my friends just bc I work with them. I don't listen to gossips and I don't give out any much of my personal life bc it's none of their effing business. All I do is to my job and to it well and go home. I don't like clique bc work is not high school. People need to grow up and focus on their own lives than others.
Well spoken!!!
bro thank you for saying this, just what i needed
That’s actually a proverb in my culture. I stay aware of who gossips to me because I know for a fact they’ll pass along whatever I saw. What she calls negative energy, I would say is just being defensive and alert. I don’t go to work to be liked by people. I will treat them well but why worry about how others see you if you’re not doing anything outside your job description?
Best comment ^
I feel great about myself outside of work, but as soon as I step in that office, It all goes down the drain. 😣
In my experience it's always been about the toxic people: their insecurities, jealousy, entitlement, need to be superior & one-up others, etc. Being negative and shy doesn't matter, as long as you aren't threatening their delusions & standing. Like all cowards, they usually gang up on their targets and spread malicious lies to destroy their reputation. Some workplaces are a breeding ground for toxic behavior -- I've found a lot of them in warehouses back when I had no real job skills.
The toxic people are just jealous of the successful ones..they would do anything to sabotage your work ..I believe we can just stay away as much as we can also report any toxic behavior to the human resources office..don't let anyone bring you down or try to disturb your peace. Thanks for sharing this.
I agree for you , sad to say this always happened to me at work ..
Exactly, but what if the manager and boss are also toxic?
@@sabafj369 report to the Human resources on any toxic behavior.
@@sherryidibo2304 HR doesn't care.
shireen Ibdah 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
I've found that insecurity is a strong common denominator for toxic coworkers/bosses. One coworker (of the same position) would carefully script every interaction to place herself above you. She taught, you learned. She spoke, you listened. She tasked, you performed. She was always belittling, treating people like wayward three year olds. I, among others, rebuffed her attempts to become our supervisor/coworker and it was vendetta time. I took insults and belittling for two years before my passive-aggressive fangs came out. She threatened to examine everything I wrote so I thanked her and would put a hundred pages of material on her desk at 4pm on Friday with a due date of Monday. I was also an examiner for a mandatory part of employment and she had to answer to me so she got back everything she put out and the toxic behavior quickly stopped. I found that you can't reason with most of these types of people and only figuratively smacking them on the nose with a rolled up newspaper will curb their aggression.
I experienced toxicity at work, I love my job but not the people I worked with. Been hanging on however I made a decision to quit after I got accepted from another job. Best decision I made! I know a lot of people will say that you don’t have to be friends with your co-workers that you are there to work but if the place is not healthy, too much negativity then it’s not worth it.✨
Congrats leaving that toxic environment
I'm at this point. I need change of environment.
And when you got those idiots who say you're a "quitter", I kindly tell them I'm being sensible in knowing when to make a strategic exit from a bad deal. Life's too short to be stuck in a shitty job with shitty people.
That’s right. There are people who develop cancer, PTSD etc from toxic work places
Congrats on the new job. I had the same crappy experience at a job I used to work at some time ago and after almost 3 yrs, I quit that toxic environment and accepted a new job offer where the environment was much better and made 12k more a year with my new career. The ones at my previous job were miserable and had miserable lives at home (they talked about it a lot), were low performers, and all had beer guts and were gaslighters, and displayed bad attitudes a lot. I'm so thankful I got away from those people.
If someone has a problem with you and they won't tell you what you did to upset them then it's their problem not yours.
Trust me, slackers know exactly what they’re doing and how they’re upsetting other people. Telling them it’s not going to change anything
@@alicepeng3689right sometimes people see you that nothing is stopping you and they still try to find a way to get under your skin
My last workplace had so much insecure people it boggled my mind. These people had nothing going on in their lives, just work and would get mad if you talked about anything other than work, such as going on a vacation. I thought what a bunch of losers! And quit
Weird coworkers
@@glow1815 very weird. They lived to work. I could never understand that mentality. Why waste your life working. It’s like they couldn’t see there’s more to life than work. Which made me think they were losers.
👏👏👏👏 i also quit and they were sooo mad abt that💃💃
Office politics - it’s like a second job that you do while you try to do your actual job. It sucks - hopefully you get in with a good company with good people, it’s such a blessing to land that type of job, pray and keep looking. You gotta play the game, study and practice and learn how to survive, you can’t just not play the game or you lose for sure
It’s exhausting 😣
When people are playing games in office politics rather than focusing on the job and what is best for the collective result, they are being unprofessional. It is literally ridiculous.
it's unfair how many people have dealt with these types of issues - the comments show the frustration people go thru when they're just trying to earn a living.
Yeah sorry I don't agree with it either
@@atleholm8325 The immature person is being unprofessional regardless of it regardless of if the harassed one response similarly or not
I just resigned from a Toxic Workplace. The problem that I endured for 8 months from co-workers bent on destroying me was a WEAK Boss. He was the one leading the Toxicity and everyone followed his lead. Disgusting behavior. He was training them to be workplace bullies.
You got mobbed
@@niquelogan663 How do you stop being Mobbed. The Negative Energy Vortex was so strong there.
@@user-ss6zt2mo1l Once it is set in motion, there is little to nothing that the mobbed individual can do to stop it. It can end in a few different ways, with the #1 being elimination; the person leaves. Document, document, document what is happening and seek legal counsel if it is appropriate. You might be able to sue over what they’ve done or are doing. There is a book called Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace. It’s a good read and gives lots of good information and tips. Other countries have laws for this issue. The US…not so much. But, as someone who is targeted, it could help to know and put words and give voice to what is happening to you. I’m sorry you went through that experience. It is hell.
@@niquelogan663 Thanks. I appreciate those words. I will look into the book.
@@user-ss6zt2mo1l by leaving
Best way to overcome it is to whistleblow it. Audio record, name, expose. Let the court of public opinion decide.
Recording without consent is not legal in some states.
@@sigmasiren777 Remain anonymous when recording.
Thank you for this. Having chest pains and sleepless nights over this behaviour at work
How are you now?
@@LalaLarrieux so much better thank you. Learned the best life lesson from it . That’s life 🌟 I toughened up!
Whew I felt this I literally just said my chest is tight from this
They are not worth it!!
Omg yes , these people won’t let kind people mind their own business
I really needed to hear this. Most of the toxic workers are burned out and negative. I just assume their lives must be miserable and try not to take things personally.
Guys. These people are so bored! They talk about you because you’re a flaaayyyym🔥🔥🔥🔥
A hot topic..lol
I am glad to see this is happening to others only because now I know I am not alone, what I’ve learned is that you can’t make everybody happy , no matter what you do , when people are determined not to like you, there is nothing you can do , just smile and keep improving yourself.
Well said, u cant instill happiness to no one except you.i go withva woman who lives in one of the buildings where i work,& i found out that my coworkers, esp some of thr guys, are very toxic.good thing we are both discreet.still, im studying on the side because in another 2- 4 years i want to resign.
I disagree, toxic managers and co-workers try hard to make you believe that you are not good enough even more if you are good and know it. In fact they hit even harder when you get a positive objective feedback on your work from the top...clients...
My heart goes out to each and every one, who has suffered at the whims of toxic people. I am dealing with this, even just today--and it hurts, yet I have to remember the value I see in myself, as well as gravitating towards the 99% of positive, respectful and courteous others. Sometimes, feelings of having no one on my side will creep into my thoughts, but I know better! Each day I begin anew, working to make the day, better than it was the day before. Good fortune to everyone in this season of Covid and the election. May your wildest dreams come true. Sending love and light your way🌟
Linda brings up a lot of good points. However, I can't help but feel that it's not that simple. Not everyone is blessed with high octane energy and a go-getter attitude and while some people can become very good at faking that sort of personality, not everyone can. What about people with depression who are just struggling to get through the day? Other people with mental illness? It's not this simple.
There are definitely some situations that can't be "fixed" no matter what you do or how great your techniques are, These are the situations in which you need to ask whether or not self-preservation (preservation of your health and wellness too) is more important than the job. I know this can be really hard and scary if it's a good paying job etc. Your point about depression and mental illness is extremely valid. Working in a toxic environment on top of that can be quite literally dangerous.
@@CareersbyJenn yes exactly
@@user-cg9ry5id5v righttt i’m tired of people coming up to my desk saying i’m quiet and getting offended. Ma’am I barely got of bed this morning and i’n currently having a panic attack?😩
@@florencee3324 is everyone else just perfectly happy and mentally well cause? Wtf don’t they understand people have personal struggles ?
This video confirms all the steps I am doing currently to my jealous workmates. I don't need to leave just because of their toxicity. Let them leave just because they can't carry all the heavy feeling of too much jealousy. Lol
THEY were the superstar. Then you come in and out-perform them quickly. You may even be unaware of them!
I'm so happy Linda points this out. It's easy to wonder WHY someone is so jealous.
In a toxic work environment it may-be-your-fault. But, if everyone likes you and you're doing well...but that one person has it out for you...they are dying with envy, which is their problem.
Awesome video. everyone is fighting their own demons, outside of work. There is no need to bring it into the office. I pick up on peoples vibes and i have just completely shut this particular toxic person out. Its true negative brings down negative. And that person stays clear from me too. There is no need for that. We are too busy trying to make money!!!
I just stay focused 110 percent on my job now. If they hate me, I still help them get their job done. Eventually some of them stopped hating me once they realized that I am not a one upper or a kiss ass. They ended up realizing that I am just a hard worker who likes to work because it makes the time go by faster and because I want my company to succeed. I think of us as a team and I try to find ways to make everybody else’s work ethic the same or better than mine.
Yes!
we need more people like you in this world , keep it up .
this is awesome. I'm trying to implement this attitude as well...just work hard. Ignore the BS.
Did this too. Then, suddenly, when time came, they backstabbed me into oblivion.
Heavy on the makes time go faster … I know once I get a few tasks done the day will be over ….
Part of what she says about “attracting” the hate to us is true… but there’s another side of the coin that she completely misses: which is that your light can attract demonic people.
Because if it were true that negative self-talk would attract mean-spirited people, then most people would experience that.
But many people don’t attract hatred because they don’t have the inner light.
The inner light is what can attract dark evil people like moths to a flame.
I thought I would add this, not because I don’t value Linda’s expertise, but because this law of attraction stuff (which I’ve studied for years) has a lot of half-truths.
She seems to view LOA in a pretty simple way, when in reality, there are a lot of nuances.
That said, I think to stop attracting those experiences, it helps to have the spirit of God in you and be active in a purpose that gives life to your soul.
That's true about darkness being attracted to (and trying to destroy) the light. T@rgeted individuals know this all too well. But everyone just dismisses them as crazy, as is always the way with covert abuse.
Agreed.
Yup. They feel your light and their darkness wants to engulf it
Proverbs 11:16-21
100% true!
It’s better to be low key and keep a low profile
Yup. Whey I don't attend company's game night or after hour( work form home) any actively that involves group of people. I know they will ask me about my personal life etc. No thanks.
Doesn’t work for some ppl.
All you're doing is allowing other people to bully you, unless this is your natural temperament. Playing it safe isn't going to make them stop, it will only embolden them to hit you harder until you leave.
@@starshot6785 I find that the more you try to stand out, the more people will try to bring you down.
Trust. I've been doing that. It doesn't work. If anything it amps them up because you have excluded yourself. There is no winning here 😢
I have a belief I can't be my self around people, I also belief I can't get close to someone or have friends. Every time i try to over come this felling it backfires at me. several incidents through out my life made believe this. I am sensitive person. and very lonely 33 years old.
I know what you mean, I feel the same way.
Same
Im 38...Some older ppl i like talking to. Some others, i dont. Its like why are you still trying for? The other ones more likeable, if they actually act like some mature elders theyre supposed to behave like, theyre like "nah, youre not weird bc youre not as social & more of a loner. You just have different priorities is all." Like when they see things for how they actually are & is able to empathize. & Empathize affectively, ha... Most likely bc they have their own lives theyve already settled into... But when it comes to them doing physical labor 😭😤, its like im not getting any younger either! But it does make it harder to not do things for them.
Better to be lonely than surrounded by toxic people. Took me 26 years to realise that.
We are a social creatures , we need connection with the others , life is too short , enjoy your time on this planet and have fun , there are still many kind and good people out there , it's not everyone is a bad person , just be positive .
Corporate is not for nice people.
i think this somehow is true .
This video is exactly what I needed. It’s so easy to fall into their insecurities sometimes and compete but it’s so much healthier to just be grounded and realize that it’s not your problem.. it’s theirs.
Thank you for this video! 💕
I've been working from home since last year. Never met my coworkers in person nor seen the company I work for. And I don't want too. Been in this types of coworkers environment in every of my jobs. I love working from home. I don't have to engage any of them.
Thats where the drama happens for me at remote jobs...I know one would not think that at all.
It's sad how many people work with toxic co-workers.
I am literally learning how to detach from people at work. I'm only here to make sure I survive. I also avoid making friends at work.
that is a great choice dont ever add them on social media. they can not be trusted ever even if they seem so friendly and smiley.
Off course. Shot fired
And what's tough, is that it can be a double whammy, they're jealous of you, they find reasons not to like you , they confront and target you, then if you allow it to get to you, you feel not good about yourself, and now you feel negative towards others and have negative feelings,, thus they target you further!!!
Very true but you forgot to mention it doesn't matter if you feel good about yourself in general, they will be toxic because simply they have always been this way and probably will remain that way after you.
Jealousy or being negative are not the only reasons why this happens. Narcissistic co-workers can exist regardless of the 2 things you pointed out though I could see a case for both of those but it's much more diverse. If someone comes into a work place with the right attitude of learning and trying to be part of a team, there shouldn't be a pressure to be liked. You can also go through a funk as a person and be negative if you need to, of course without unloading it onto co-workers, but that doesn't make you the reason why some people are just natural jerks. After working in the office environment for a while you start to notice a pattern of high-school-like attitudes-- it's narcissism, plain and simple. Expect this everywhere, it's just a matter of knowing how to shake it off and still kick ass.
Wow very inspiring
Exactly! I’m a cynical person in general, but I do not talk about them out loud to anyone, especially people at work. Yet insecure boss and slacker coworkers roam around like a free bird.
Exactly! It’s narcissism in the workplace plain and simple. I’m not really a fan of this video as I feel like it’s way off and is telling us to put the blame and shame back onto ourselves to internalize it when it doesn’t have anything to do with us in a lot of situations.
In a couple hours I'm going to finally stand up for myself and ask for a transfer to another department away from my current colleagues. The toxicity began when a rumor was spread about me two months ago and has escalated from being made fun of to being texted and harassed for calling off work. I'm so tired but I also haven't sought any job opportunities just yet so this will be my temp solution. Wish me luck!
Also if you have evidence, life becomes a lot easier.
I hope things worked out.
How you doing now?
Ku-soka, You can transfer to another department. However you must ask yourself how do you know their wont be a toxic environment in your new department. Remember you are the new kid on the block and now a target for a possible toxic worker. Beware and know where you are in your company. Always keep your guard up against these types of bullies plain and simple. Good Luck and hope your transfer is successful.
@@robertrutenberg3919 Hey, thanks for the advice. Ever since I posted this comment, it's been nothing but an incredible time at my job. After transferring, it's been drama free and my employer even gave me the availability I have wanted for years but could never get from a part time job. To anyone reading this, try transferring first and DEFINITELY try communicating what is going beforehand because your employer doesn't know when there is harassment. I learned my lesson there.
Corporate games of thrones is a big problem.
Y’alll this woman is RUDE have me praying at work 😭 lol stay strong ladies
I’ve found myself praying at work 😭
same girl SAME lol
I pray before I go in I don’t wanna go to jail
real
I’ve been going through this on my job! They’re always going behind me and undoing things so that they can say I never did it. I don’t talk to these people at all. I go to work and mind my business. They don’t like that I’m not chatty but I don’t talk to people with bad vibes
I’ve experienced this a few times in retail. At each of these places my sales were very high and my relationships with customers has always been excellent. I’m not insecure. So I’m baffled.
I’ve experienced this as well. This customer called head office and told the owner how it was the best customer service they have ever received and one of my Coworkers response was “how did they get a hold of him” as if I told the customer to call. I was speechless and kept my distance since. She had such control issues as well so I left that workplace.
What about when your manager doesn’t do anything to correct the behavior despite acknowledging that they recognize it?
no, they are selfish and this is done by purpose. there;s nothing to feel sorry for, let alone for them feeling that way
Hello Linda, I recently got let go of my job, because of certain decisions I made that led me to termination. However, I’ve also had been working with toxic coworkers, one of which was the star performer who saw my presence as threatening. Leading up to my termination, he reported me for everything and anything that wasn’t to his standards instead of my supervisors. I slowly got singled out behind closed doors until they let me go. I learned to completely separate my personal and professional life because he used everything I opened up to him about against me when I thought we were connecting. As soon as they told me I was terminated, I was treated as if I was the plague. I understand that people get fired, so I was ok to leave, however, I got treated very disrespectfully on the way out. As I grabbed my things from my desk, he under his breath “you’re done” along with other passive-aggressive remarks prior to this. It’s really too bad, considering this is my career and now I have to recuperate my lost reputation and now I have the stress of being jobless and unable to support myself until I find work. Thank you for this video as it is helping me understand what happened to me.
I ultimately learned that management has their own click of entitled and narcissistic people who want their grunts to put their heads down and do their job without threatening their position of authority. I learned there are narcissistic, hyper-competitive kiss-asses that will use anything to rat you out and make themselves look good. It’s an unfortunate reality but a reality in itself at least for me.
I have co-workers who pretend they care and can be trusted but the truth is I have always caught them dishonest, gossiping and insecure by secretly and quietly observing them, so from then on I don't go out with them anymore and only talk about job related stuff.
i had a co-worker who was so intimidated and insecure because when i joined i had a better position and salary , he even went to hr to check my salary and told me i know how you earn!
Yeppers! I had a co-worker bitch to me the other day that he did twice the work of my other co-workers yet gets paid the same as them. I felt like telling him to nut up or shut up and leave if he wasn't happy with his situation.
Really??? Lol he acts like a teenage girl. Just catty
HR is not supposed to disclose anyone’s salary! That is super unethical. I had an entirely different experience. It was us employee’s who definitely are not to discuss our salaries with each other. Well, I was talked into going to another department and that it paid more and told how much. So I was working on learning all I could learn so I can start making what the pay was for that job. I kept asking what else I needed and then was told that I had to wait for the regular review time. This was months away when a new employee told me in casual conversation why she took the job. She said that she wouldn’t take it unless she got a certain amount. Well, come to find out later, another person told me that she too was hired at that rate, which is the starting rate they told me that department was to get. So basically, they were getting the pay that I was working my tushy off to get and not to mention, they couldn’t even do the work I could do! I found out later this was happening in another department and the lady who told me was an incredible worker. And I think she told other’s and they were furious. I didn’t go to management, I just had a goal to get out. She did go to the manager and he was upset with her for discussing her salary with the new person and she told him the same as with me, that it just slipped out. And she said she let him have a piece of her mind. Her husband came up with a reason for her to quit so she used that excuse. I don’t blame her one bit. I finally got my raise and then some. But I am finally out of that place.
So creepy and disgusting
I would have told him straight up. How do you know that, that’s not okay, that’s f-ing weird, and if you continue Im gonna get law enforcement involved.
Sometimes you literally have to become the tough rude New Yorker
I'm going through a divorce while looking for jobs. Was laid off from one place after the first week - deep inside I realize it's bcz my inner pain was leaking out - I was tense and sad at work, though I tried to hide it. Plus the place was toxic. I spoke to previous accountant and found that she ran as fast as she could from that place bcz of political games. My advise - get out of the situation that drags you, holds you back, keeps you unhappy (like toxic ex and the divorce pain) asap. Get rid of inner pain asap (therapy helps!) if you want good things to come to your life. Put yourself in a situation where u r happy, sincere, and where you can blossom! Peace.
there is a special strain of toxicity that can grow in accounting departments. this is ALWAYS a sign of poor leadership and bad management.
In my world I call them narcissists. They feed on the weak just like bullies do so focus on not reacting to their behavior. Truth is they know they’re getting to you which is why they do it. It won’t change how they feel about you but when they don’t get a response they will get bored and move on. Unfortunately this kind of parasite can be found in almost all work environments so it’s best to learn to co exist without sacrificing yourself worth or sanity.
So u said all of that to say what?
Momo Ed you need to read again until you get it.
Well said!!
I’m having this issue with my neighbors but this video and your comment perfectly describe what’s going on. I can’t wait to move.
Feeling different about them doesn’t really do anything to change the behavior of others because we cannot make them feel them feel any emotions. People choose what emotions they feel. Usually when they target you, its a self reflection on how they feel about themselves. Usually people who are confident think differently, and they are usually kind to the insecure already, but that makes the insecure target them even more because they feel something is either wrong with them for not feeling the same way, or they are proved to be less passionate about life. We literally should shift their way of thinking.
My experience tells me that it’s the insecure, jealous coworkers that need your advice around deep rooted beliefs about themselves that are negative, that they are repressing and projecting by bullying others around them that they feel are better then them.
Big No on the second part. I love my self and I have confidence. I feel good about myself. Do a vid for people that are being bullied and how to stop the bullying. And that cant leave the job.
Sure
This is awesome! I just started a new job and there are definitely some people who gossip and spread toxicity. I feel confident in myself and try to have a high vibration and it’s true what you said that people just kind of passed me by and ignore me because they know I’m not going to have a very interesting reaction to them trying to instigate me
What about toxic supervisors who show favoritism always on your back but giving everybody projects and a free ride??
Used to work with extremely toxic people, they team up and gossip, they befriended the manager and I was the odd one out! I kept my cool and tendered my resignation and out of the blue the top management intervened and laid off all the toxic guys 😂 A lot of peace these days ✌
This video could not have come at a better time! Just yesterday I was asking myself the same question. Thanks a lot!!
All her webinars are prerecorded including her audience. As a test I had 2 different webinars at different times and she was talking on 2 different times. She will never answer your question because its prerecorded. What a scam!!!
No good advice tho
It means they are showing who they are...I really don't get jealous and I'm happy with the success of other people...
This video is well needed. I remember feeling like this in 2015 to 2017 when I was working as a Health Care Assistant. It is so true but, at the same time I simply feel I was around horrible people for the most part.
That’s pretty much the standard work environment in healthcare
Exposure to toxic behavior is never a blessing in disguise. That's very problematic toxic positivity.
I finally understood this when I realized that one of our more senior employees was sabotaging my performance. Now I am producing 10x better no thanks to them. They pretend to be kind and helpful. They were also assigned by the supervisor as the ‘next in charge’ even though they weren’t officially promoted. Screw these people, they KILL careers. Glad to get this off my chest and move on from this nonsense.
Your videos have really struck me to the core emotionally. I have been struggling for years with myself, and this is exactly what I needed. Thankyou
My situation at work has greatly improved because of you, thank you for your Wisdom.
Omg wow! Thank you so much! I had a Manager that felt like this but I didn’t know this until now! She was so jealous of me and felt threatened by me! She hired me to help her!
Please can you explain what you mean when you say your Manager hired you to help to help her?? Please I feel I'm in the situation. Can you give a bit of context to the situation you found yourself with the Manager? Your response would be highly appreciated!
@@lamzy3773 Hi know this is an extremely late response! But she hired me to make her look good and didn’t expect me to flourish! My light overshadowed hers!
Currently experiencing this now. I've been in dental for over 10 years. The orthodontist is a narcissist and her nurse is even worse, constant micromanaging. She pumps up the orthodontist and tries to get me in trouble. And she's constantly gossiping to other staff. I've only been there for 2 weeks and they keep saying Sarah use to do things like this. They don't realise they're toxic energy is bringing me down and not helping me to grow.
I was feeling low today but now feeling confident. Thank you 😊
u cant feel insecure if u work in an open n honest manner 😁
but ! ur being open is bad for those who r hiding their weakness 😭
The best book I ever read that covers this is called taming the tiger within. Hate and compassion cannot exist together. When you feel compassion for these toxic peeps it helps settle you. Deep breath. 😊❤
Yesss yes yes AMEN! 🤗
Oh wow! You answered the questions I have been asking myself.Thank you Lynda. I admire your energy too.
Two thumbs to your video!
Taking a Note:" When someone is jealous of you - Understanding is the key. For you to understand them, where they are coming from. You can feel their sense of insecurity." "The world is your mirror." "Awareness of deeply embedded beliefs."
What I learned from this: Oh my goodness. after i watch this video. Being completely honest about myself, I questioned myself. "How do I feel about myself? What are the thoughts and feeling that I have about myself on daily basis?" There was a significant truth that have been holding me back literally entire my life."
Im a targeted by mean coworkers who are toxic and insecure. What you told on your channel is so true to me. I gotta change my thoughts. Thank you so very much! I really appreciate you told me this amazing story!
My boss is the toxic and insecure person also coworkers. I'm trying to move my work position but they try to break my opportunities. But I don't give up. I stay away from those people as far as possible.
My boss doesn't have enough ability to manage the company, handle complaints, assign duties to proper staffs. My currently boss is so poor and not strong as a manager..
I feel like a door mat at my job 😕. I always have trouble sticking up for myself and it sucks
Im an immigrant who went to college in the US and obtained a BSN .
My first experience as an RN was in the state of Alabama.
Absolutely horrible !!
There's nothing compassionate or humane about the narcissistic bully coworker nurse .
These monsters are usually in charge positions in every hospital in the US.
When they say they are looking for a strong RN , they really mean they are looking for a cutthroat bully with knowledge.
Great video!
My gratitude 🙏
A lot of places hire the meanest people they can find for managerial positions--seen it for many years.
True. In the past I dealt with bullying alot as kid and I agree the beliefs I took from that experience came full circle into adulthood. Currently having coworkers deliberately disrespecting me infront of friends gossiping about me behind back. I just give it to the Lord to handle this, appreciate hearing your perspective was helpful
Thanks Linda, I feel much better watching this video. I’ve been abused in the workplace for many years.
Thank you for sharing your honest truth! Some of us need and appreciate honesty that’s not so cookie cutter and P.C. ❤️
I also want to add that sometimes changing your environment can be exactly what u need
This is very well put together. Thank you for your time in educating us.
Sometimes you need to punch them to remove those toxic behaviour from them without beating them some are arrogant will still continue misbehaving with you.
And have a criminal record and never be able to work again... great idea. They win then
I have a Mimi (Drew Carrey) bully. She calls me out publicly constantly, copies EVERYTHING I wear and own (like, exactly what I wear and own fown to my desk mat)
Her supervisor does not care.
Thank you for this video.
This is so helpful, thank you. I've been aware of this concept of putting out negative energy for years but the way you've explained it is much clearer. I recently realised one of my co workers is toxic - gossiping and bitching behind others backs whilst acting sweet to their faces. Unfortunately during a bad time I shared some personal info with this woman and now I'm a bit concerned she'll start trying to put me down in front of the group, she already tried it today. Luckily I get on with all my other colleagues and they're all good people, so I can't see them joining in on her meanness. I'm just keeping my distance from her whilst being ambiguous about my understanding of her to keep her on the back foot. I wish I'd listened to my doubts about her from the start but it's been another learning experience in how to get to know people slowly, and also in the importance of not oversharing personal information.