I didn't remember this but I had read somewhere that an "Ex-friend" of mine and I were talking on the phone and how she kept interrupting me to boast about all the presents that her husband, who was then her boyfriend bought her for Valentine's Day. After she got married, she was boasting about what she read and what she had cooked.
@@michaelbannerman3035 I feel your pain! I cut off a Narc ''Friend'' who was very Insecure, Jealous, Envious, Spiteful, and Bitter. All she wants to do is bring me down!
AbsoluteMdot -my neighbor was a friend. We talked a lot about different things. To make a long story short we are not friends. She would ask me to take her to the doctor all the time. I quit it. Now she bad mouths me to other neighbors and you can hear screaming and her rants on me. I ignore it all. I cut her off. She is mean and I took it. I feel better that I quit her but have to hear her rages.
They try their best to compete with you when you are barely even aware of their existence.😂 I've had friends and family like this. Being good to them won't help. Loving them won't help. Being happy or supportive of them won't help. They never change. You aren't the problem, they are. Life is short. Save yourself some time and just distance yourself from them or cut them off altogether.
Absolutely. They try to complete your not even aware of your just being you trying to be nice then one day you just see it for what it is . It can also be a group of insecure women who gossip gossip and they they reaffirm each other options or insecurities about you and they gang up on you. It horrible experience .
@@kimo386 You will notice that their "target" keeps changing. Whoever is making them feel rotten about themselves at that point of time, I guess. And they can never do it (attack their target) alone - they do it in a gang. It took me some time to realize that they are never happy - BECAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE IN THEIR LIVES WHO IS MAKING THEM FEEL INADEQUATE!!
@@kimo386 Yes, I learnt a lot of petty little mean-girl games from them. Frankly, I think these women are a HUGE waste of time - I would rather spend time with my kind and intelligent friends, but these shitheads have to be dealt with effectively, because they tend to upset you
I am not a jealous or envious person but I have to tell you that being confident is not something we all can do when we were raised by insecure parents. I also know a lot of envious people who are quiet about everything, not because they are "confident" but because they don't want to attract envy to themselves. They know what the power of envy can really do to them. It's the people who are not sick with envy, who do not understand it, and who share everything like an open book and get hit by envy attacks from those who are sick with this mental disease.
Such a great way to look at it! This week I was feeling down that a large friend always wanted to downplay good things happening to me, when I change my whatsapp profile pic she soon changes hers, when I say something good i have she makes stuff up trying to compete. I truly saw her as a friend. But she changed. And Became negative and competitive. And now I'm taking it as a compliment instead of feeling down!!😊
“Sometimes having money,the car,the big house doesn’t cause jealousy because they could have that all and more , what causes jealousy is your essence , your energy, your aura the way you manage your values in life. Those things that make you shine and no one can ever turn off, is THAT what causes jealousy. “ Soo true!
There are individuals who will envy everything about you: your personality , your best career, your house , your cars , your style of dress, your style of talking , just your everything. Inside of them, they wish they could have been you instead of being themselves. THEY LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. So, as a result of how they feel about you, they turn against you. YOUR CONFIDENCE KILLS THEM. They fail to understand how you have gained that because you grew up with them, under same difficult conditions. YOU BECOME A WONDER TO THEIR WORLD. Envy , Jealousy and hate takes over their lives. They become a danger to your life. Then you isolate in order to save your own life. That is when friendships and sibling relationship become vile and to END.
@@lindamanamela7998 very well said! I’ve lived this!!😢 I could never verbalize what was happening, couldn’t ever understand or ever imagine it happening to me or anyone because I don’t think that way. Reading your comment really helped me to understand & see that it was exactly that. You nailed it
If confident people are much more proficient isn't it a mistake to just move away and refuse to help the envious? Helping without sacrificing yourself, sometimes just an "I can help you see your bright side" can make a big difference in the other person's life
Most people have talk about someone so I more concern about the vicious ones, the ones that spy on you and fabricate stories for no reason or indication and pathological gossipers talk nasty about everyone all the time.
They probably think you're trying to one up them when you're simply sharing. This whole jealous narcissist stuff can be confusing & hard to interpret sometimes. Good luck!
Me too.. they did the same thing to me too.. they share about thier goals and I just give a positive response because I was really happy for them when they share a good news with me and sometimes obviously the story is better than mine. And finally after a long conversation, I recognize that conversation is a sign of her jealousy towards me.. and trying to drag me down, then lately I decided to stopped sharing about my life and my goals.. because I just want to be me..and I love myself.. and I will not compare myself with others. Because I know what's the best for me.. what I am capable of and what's the things that I am not in to it..
I actually have an interest to make them look into themselves and make them feel better. I discuss my flaws that way they will start to see me in the norm as them and maybe eventually start to like me.
I have dealt with jealous and insecure people, and I genuinely never take it on. In the moment, I handle it by being light and kind and even laughing off what they're saying, but if I notice someone is consistently like that, I distance myself from them. These sorts of people are energy vampires.
Exactly because they do not need to. They are secure within themselves and do not need the outside validation to make themselves feel better. Thanks for the comment!
100% true... I had a friend in the past who had a really good job, alot of money, a nice boyfriend and she NEVER gave me the feeling that I was less then her or was bragging about her relationship, she was always really proud of me and the things I achieved. It are always the people with alot of drama and problems who brag or has to drag you down.
I agree, I had 'too sensitive' alot as a child. It's a manipulative statement often used as an excuse to not take responsibility for what one is saying.
I’m going through a horrible situation , and is making me very sad, and because on that , I feel rejected, no empathy, a friend said to me, don’t tell your problems, they don’t care , I think everyone is kind “!!!!
Never share anything with a narcissistic person even if there you’re own parents! They will do anything in the power to destroy you’re joy . Envy runs through there evil veins !
I had a personal experience and I can say that these people will secretly copy everything you do it can reach to the point of obsession. At the same time they will feel threatened by your light. They will project their insecurities and call your confidence arrogance. They will turn every quality you have to a flaw because they can't stand seeing you as a good person.
You never know what a person went through to get what they have and where they are. That is a statement enough to keep a person from being jealous or insecure.
Question: How do I deal with jealous,insecure people? Answer: Have as little contact as possible, even if that means cutting them out of my life. These people are toxic.
Naled N yes, for sure. The insecure people at work are the worst because they’re inescapable. I have gotten burned by these types more than one time. They are miserable creatures and will dig to get personal info on you, so they can find some way to one up you or put you down to feel better about themselves. My strategy is to just keep the conversation very surface level and be vague, keep the conversation short. There are a lot of people that believe in “misery loves company,” and with these types, I keep my distance. By the way, these types are stealthy and may seem like a great friend at first, but time will vet them out!
Steph, you described my whole family. I bought a house 2 yrs ago noone congratulated me, but i did hear thru the grapevine the question was asked "how did she buy a house?" I have a cousin that 1 ups me on everything financial. I distanced myself from all those fake folks. I am so happy in life right now...flaws and all.
when you think about it, it's stupid to think like insecure people...I mean their logic is this "destroy others so I get the upper hand"...why not try harder in life and do better instead of destroying others?
The thing I do love about social media is that a photo speaks a thousand words and for so called friends you can post what’s going on in your life and if things are going well, you can tell who’s the most jealous that you’re happy and successful not by what they say but by how they go radio silent.
I go radio silent when narcs in my family post self-absorbed, photos or false accomplishments (or rewrite history when talking to me or any number of blatant lies) when actually both they and I do know the truth. I mean, it is uncomfortable and I just don't respond. I don't want to hurt these both fragile and also vicious people. They probably think I am jealous haha
@@kmartin2988 I agree that there are delusional people in every family that think we want to see every little moment in their lives, I think they think they are influencers LOL. But it's not narcissistic to want people who supposedly care about you to be happy for you when you rarely give personal updates about your life. I'm not referring to those who overshare and overpost, I'm talking about the once a year photo to show what you've been up to.
My ex narc tried to make me jealous in public..staring at other women..I was not having that...he told me that i was jealous and insecure and sensitive..I told him that it was not jealousy but disrespect!
I know right? When a man does that I dont feel jealous. I feel DISRESPECTED. It is a huge difference. As I know my value I dont feel the need to be jealous of that other woman. I feel disrespected by the man engaging in such a behaviour.
I was very insecure when I.was in high school and I used to have this fear of people judging me , so when I was in situations where I felt judged I got defensive and could fight these people physically. Took a lot of therapy and hard work to get over it. I also had social anxiety key was fear of being judged , I felt people were out there to judge me , but I am glad I can laugh about it now. I am now comfortable in public and I am No longer insecure. What i can tell anyone dealing with insecurities is that they should acknowledge them and work on them.
beauty queen Absolutely! You have to know where your triggers are and you have to know where your wounds are in order for them to heal and for you to get to a healthy place. You sound like you are in a great space! Thank you so much for your comment.
Glad you worked on it ❤️. I need to work on both not being insecure and manipulative and not letting insecure manipulative destructive people into my life. And I think all the tools she gives us and things se teaches us are great because I want to do the right thing, I just never knew this stuff.
Sometimes the jealous or insecure person is actually the person receiving the good news that you may try to share with your 'loved ones'. Their reaction says it all. If they're not happy for you, don't tell them anything ever again. 🤫
They can actually be very phoney and fake, so sometimes they will "celebrate" for you but I could sense the flattery. It's definitely a deep rooted issue they are dealing with.
Am jealous and insecure with my partner am just pushing him away and he's always getting angry with me anything I say I've been with him 19 years we don't ever talk that much no more when we go out we don't even walk next to each other I feel like the Rangers I love you so much I don't know how to make this better for this relationship??
I just left my job where I had a jealous and emotionally abusive boss. At first I was affected, but then began to see the patterns and, instead, began to take stock of their behavior. After enough time went by, I was able to clearly see that I was in an unhealthy relationship. I gave my notice and left. It was a huge relief, and I even lost a few pounds I had gained while working there because of the stress.
I used to fight back on matter of principle without realizing how insecure and vicious and unprincipled the people I was "schooling" were. I thought I was helping by showing them the scrupulous way. Wasting my time, energy. You know when someone is no good when you feel it in your gut. Stay away
What is hard is when the narcissist needs you to prove your point, prove to them or others that you actually have value. It's exhausting trying to fill their level of expectation even if you have exceeded it.
They do that, so you can supply them with emotional energy and exhaust you, it a game they play, and most times don't even need you to explain anything. There also known as emotional vampires, who feed of the energy and emotions of others!
No no no, you turn the table on them and start acting like anything they do is never good enough and put them down at every possible opportunity and leave them, hide as much information about your life without them as possible, and never try to prove anything to them. Just make sure you give them exactly the same treatment they're giving you. That's going to drive them crazy. Of course you should do all that only if you're prepared for war ha ha, but if you really want revenge, you'll have to go to war with them.
my zodiac sign can easily see through people and detect jealousy. when i sense jealousy from someone who subliminally tries to throw shade, i passify them with a compliment so they can feel better about their pitiful selves. they're usually shocked by the compliment and it shuts them the eff up with a smile.
I have recently been shocked to realise how unhappy with themselves some people are.....I have noticed the body language of some people and the way they avoid me at times, even in my church people have pretended to like me, then have pulled away from me by cold shouldering etc I am beginning to understand there is nothing wrong with me.....but the problem shows their insecurity and low self esteem. Understanding this has been life changing. Thank you Lyn for confirming this fact.
I think I get a lot of jealous people. There is nothing you can do about them but stay away from them. They are going to try to tear you down and you really can't make them stop. They are negative unpleasant people so who has time for them? They aren't going to get anywhere because they waste time trying to destroy others rather than build themselves. If they can destroy you to build themselves, that is about all they will accomplish at your expense.
Stephanie Lyn Coaching This really makes me sad though. There are people I love that are like this. Is there a way to have a conversation about security and insecurity to encourage more self awareness?
A very informative, educative and insightful discussion. Regrettably, we are all surrounded with these people and sometimes it is difficult to realize that their selfish behaviors are propelled by deep-seated insecurities
I would normally agree... But there is good and bad jealousy. I'm realizing that sometimes we contribute to the insecurities by doing so. There's a certain amount of normalcy within "jealousy"
In reality a lot of people are subconciously insecure about themselves and jealous of others . It's whether they act on their insecurities/jealousy that makes the different between love and hate relationships.
I've had this troubling problem with friends.. I've actually come to the ultimate conclusion being, .....just be super super cool, super nice, super polite, have great composure and slowly fade them out of your life,........ that way you keep your dignity and sanity... and in the end, the result will be , its all them, that's the only conclusion that can be made by them and you in the history books
I am generally so happy when others accomplish something in their lives . Thank you God for making me a safe person. Jealous is a sign your soul is sick. Bless them lord. They need the light
When I was going thru a deep depression...I talked badly about people and it was usually those with less than me. When I came out of that 'season' I said to myself and others that I did not feel good knowing I gossiped! I confirmed for myself that misery loves company!
One girl was jealous of me because her husband acknowledged me. She started bossing me around on the job so I confronted her and said that if she wants me to do something tell my boss.
I know me too that's the worst! Especially when it was just a hi or handshake geez people are so insecure but yet it's a reflection on their relationship because the guy is probably a flirt or cheater.
Oh wow just because her husband acknowledged you? That friend has to be extremely insecure. If my husband were to acknowledge other people, I wouldn't take it in a bad way. Unless he wants to cheat, that's different
Wow. This video describes the mother in law and sister in law perfectly 👌🏼I’m really getting tired of their projections. I know that after every interaction, I do extra self-care the next day. It’s hard for an empath - you just wanna live your life and continue to be light in the world. My barre teacher old me, “remember, it’s not about you...” and when she re-framed it that way, it clicked.
I have dealt with the bragger, one upper and the hurtful jealous. The bragger identifies with materialistic things their identity is wrapped up in it. Over exaggerating things. It is quite silly. If you have a kitchen aid and they have a kitchen aid somehow theirs is literally the best in the city. Word for word. I have a one upper. You constantly listen to this person. Encourage them and nod. When it is your turn to say something that they asked you about. Such as a vacation for example. Response is, "our hotel is better"... it really is not but that is besides the point. The conversation was not even about whose was better. Hurtful jealous just makes rude comments especially when you are in the process of accomplishing something. I think they have pain deep down. They are trying to fix it the wrong way. Talking to them or mirroring back their behavior in hopes that they will see it is not nice does not work. I am focusing on me. Allowing them to grow at their own pace. That is the most loving thing I can do for them.
Roxy K. 👌👍👍 You are describing my Marriage and My Narc Husband for the past 4 decades! I have spent the past 2 yrs working on fixing myself and my perspectives and realizing the very things that both Yourself and Stephanie are saying. Progress has been slow(like, Boy did I let him get to me Today! 😣),but I'm Still Progressing. Where there's life there's hope,Right? ☺✌ Best wishes! 💐
Hey I know a person with all these traits and I just don't know how to deal with her honestly I'm getting annoyed and I don't wan't to bother any other classmates of mine by telling them and she got close with someone I've got closer too not anymore I guess she sat next to her and now there really close I can't talk to that person now because I'm trying to focus on my studies.
You popped up on my homepage just as I'm dealing with 2 people who are trying to one up me, for no apparent reason other than to make themselves look better by belittling me & potentially put my job at risk, never asked for any of it, I'm just doing me! Thank you 😊
We all must learn to embrace all living beings with empathy, while holding our personal boundaries. When we empathize with ourselves fully we don't feel the need to play any judgment games. We can simply say, this person is trapped in a pain spiral. I understand their pain and cannot allow them certain space in my world, because to do so is an act of unlove, it does not encourage them to better themselves and end their spreading of suffering.
Hannah, your comment made a difference in my thinking about an insecure, jealous person that I didn't know how to behave around anymore. This perspective was very helpful. THANK YOU!
I met someone like this last week. Jealous of her boyfriend's attention towards me. She bragged about this and that. Trying to put me down. I held onto my self-confidence and self-worth. When I one-upped her as she was trying to one-up me, she asked many personal questions to make me look bad. Questions that were none of her business. She embarrassed herself and ran out crying after her boyfriend scolded her. He was not a love interest of mine at all.
I worked in Sales for 3 years. I learned so many unhealthy traits that you described in this video. Thank you for validating that i’m not crazy and giving me permission to true to myself and act like a human. Shew!!
I was insecure person who would take on the abuse from others. Not anymore im way more confident in myself. I will not allow anyone to treat me badly. I've grown so much.
I had a friend who just loved to say mean things to me, to my face. And they were pretty immature, belittling things too, stuff about my body or the way I acted. The thing is that he kept insisting he was only joking about it, and for my part I kept making excuses for him by believing my threshold was too low or that I was too uptight. I've told him off and made it very clear that I don't want to be friends with a bully and while he's apologised, I don't believe he has changed. I'm going to be more assertive about my boundaries with these people, because even tho they think they're being funny and cool, they're actually being insensitive towards other people's feelings and hurting them. It's not okay.
No. Distance yourself from this friend completely. You can have healthy friends who can if not praise you wont criticize unnecessarily. Ppl dont change.
What a great video! I have a jealous insecure person in my life. I have to deal with this person almost daily. Even though deep down they mean well, they always end up lashing out at me and mocking me for any reason they can think of. I always took it personally even though I never showed it. Now I understand that this person only lashes out to deal with their own shortcomings! It all fell into place when I watched this video. Thank you so much for your videos and advice, Stephanie! he more I watch, the more things fall into perspective!! You are super.
I still feel like I shrink down when girls I work with be little or gossip about me I guess I need to be a better parent to myself , positive self talk 👍
Haha this totally hits home! I've had friends I've known for years who've made bad decisions (that I do not judge them for, but they just want to be further a head in life) & when one friend came to visit me I could tell she was jealous. She wanted a tour of my house, & when we were done she commented about how she was going to have more land. Nothing about the house or anything. I also noticed that she fell off the face of the earth after she visited. Jealous people won't stick around, they can't be happy for you & it eats away at them that you "did better." It's so dumb, I'm not in a competition with anyone & I do not flaunt things. She also criticized me for how or what I did with my own child, because she had to find something to nit pick. Towards the end I couldn't figure out why she never wanted to talk, I was more than happy to rearrange my day so we could chat & catch up. I would call & she wouldn't respond. I would txt & she'd get back to me 2 weeks later with, "So sorry I was so busy, her child is in school, blah blah." So when she said she was having her 2nd child I made some cloth burp rags, & a crinkle toy for the new baby. The only time I hear from her is when she has something to brag about, then once she's done she lets me go. So when she texted pics of the new baby I didn't respond. Later on social media she commented that I never called when he was born. Looking back I should have said, "Oh well didn't you get the gifts?" But I went with " I would love to continue this conversation, but not on social media. You know my number too." A few days later she had deleted me. I think I'll live. I don't want fake friends. I have learned that if a friend says all the time "we should get together sometime!!" Then they fall off the face of the earth everytime...the next time match their commitment level. Don't say oh how about Tues! I begun saying to similar friends, "Oh yeah that sounds fun." Or "yeah we should sometime. " if they truly want to they'll schedule something.
No, they never stick around.. Good for you for recognizing this behavior! It is so important towards attracting and keeping a healthy circle of friends around you.
I had the same with a friend of mine... She always ignores me when things are going well for me or she cuts me off in a conversation. And the only time when she texts me she's bragging about something. It's like she always wants to compete with me. She just can't be happy and don't want to pay attention to The positive things I achieve and the growth that I am in. Very exausting and insecure behaviour. I really needed distance because it was really bad for my mental and physical health.
Something similar happened to me too. Never once she said she was happy for me or congratulated me on anything: work, school, or losing weight. Has sabotaged previous relationships of mine when she’s supposedly “happy in love” with her bf. Crashed my car. Ditched me in another country. There’s more but can’t think of it. I’ve come to realize you can’t make excuses for these people & they’re just toxic and they think it’s everyone else but them. I also think it’s a form of narcissism. What also helped me is to realize I would never want her around my future family or my future spouse & kids to know her she would be jealous about everything and you can’t trust people like that.
My gosh. Although U am aware of some things you commented You helped me with more. I thought it was me but I was to trusting and compassionate to believe they could be this way. Thank you so much.
That really hit home for me I used to be the person who wanted all the tea gossiped about people judged and I have been on a healing journey and I literally feel disgusting now when I talk bad about others it’s an amazing moment of growth.
I lived with people like this all my life. The only way to cope is to walk away and create a distance between you and that person or people. I’m much healthier when I’m not around toxic people! And currently I’m back living with another person who’s afraid to come out of the closet so of course they make me their victim. I’m looking for a way out as I type! I can’t deal with people who are not comfortable in their own skin.
I found many people growing were always jealous or would try to compete with me and I don’t know why. I have always shared what I had with these people. I never bragged about what I had just shared it. I eventually didn’t want to be around them anymore.
This is really 👍🏾 great!!! I’ve been the person wallowing in self pity and/or taking on the projections, letting the person hit the wound in me... so it helped that you said I have to “parent myself, love myself, giving myself “self talk,” coaching myself and encouraging myself!!! Thank you for making things this plain!!!!! I so needed it! God bless u!
Analyzing the actions of envious and resentful people in your life might give you some understanding as to why they act the way that they do, but it doesn't change their negative interactions with you. What's more important is your early recognition of toxic people in your life, then doing something about it... It's called walking away and never looking back.
I am absolutely ruthless with these type of people, they don't deserve any mercy. My mom always tells me I shouldn't be so harsh towards them but I completely disagree, they don't deserve any sympathy or mercy.
Be cordial and kind to them and truly give them to GOD, but the ones who truly internationally or unintentionally want to hurt you, you stay away but pray for them. These are orders, instructions, commands from OUR FATHER ❤ It is written, I know because I read HIS WORD. GOD Bless You in the Name of Jesus Christ 📖📖📖🙇♀️🙇♀️❤❤
They are very sick people.......the crazy makers. They mess up somebody else life to feel good but they will never feel good or happy because they are really sick and very unhappy. Maybe they have extreme anger insecurity issues.
Jesus is the Son of God, Jehovah said "this is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him." Luke 9:28-36. Luke 2:22 "and the Holy Spirit descended on him and bodily form like a dove and a voice Came From Heaven: "you are my son whom I love with you I am well pleased." Jehovah made the claim that Jesus is his Son. Therefore he is a God, the one true God.
What is up with all the dislikes in her videos? She is the best coach! Love the help and support! I just subscribed to your channel thank you so much beautiful! :)
Beyond my expectations! You are great! I was the insecure person that you described. I was born in a very educated family with siblings outcompeted me. So I tried to lash out at my loved ones and bragged about my success. But now I am less insecure as I achieve real accomplishment. This is a big discovery for me. Now I understand why I acted like I was.
There is a lot of jelouse people in the world and they just can't help them selves as they love always putting other people Down. I hate gossipers always tickle tattling
I'm not going to lie, early in my 20's to late 20's, I was this person. It took me a lot to get away from this type of behavior and it takes alot of accountability to do so. I'm running into the problem now, the girl that I was dating has these issues and I'm trying to work through this and I know the feeling because I've been through it. It hurts watching it. Great stuff.
Great video!! I'm learning that if I just sit back and focus on being myself people that are jealous and insecure won't bother me. Like water off a ducks back!!
When I used to get jealous I would say “what God does for them he will do for me, sometimes more”. It has helped me so much and it is true statement because God is faithful. His timing is not our timing.
Jennifer Thom To me that means something so say as simple as, "oh i have to take my car in to get new brakes," and they say "oh my goodness are you going to have to get a new car!!!" To me thats what that means, like almost hoping your shit just collapses.
I know what you mean! Like i am telling my friend that i have now a few Allergies but its okay i can Deal with it, and she replies, that she feels soo so sorry for me and that she is happy for herself, that she dont have allergies and she said "this is the one thing, i wouldnd want to change with you". Like wth?! What does this meeaan?!
@@Anna-rb5pc I have some allergies too and have received comments like "oh it must be rubbish not being able to eat that, I'm so glad I don't have allergies." It's such a negative, presumptuous comment because my life improved once I cut out certain foods and I don't miss them. It can be a challenge eating out but usually places can cater to allergies plus I like cooking from scratch myself, so it's not a problem for me, but other people try to imply that it's a big problem and even make me feel like I'm this disappointing person because I'm allergic to a few things.
Stepanie, this is so on point. I am experiencing this damn near everyday. This one particular woman needs serious help. I am so aware of the behavior. Her energy is strong. It so obvious that she is very unhappy and emotionally unstable
You just described my 60 year old neighbour. She presented herself as a friend, asking a lot of questions and was fun at the beginning, but for the last 2 years, she was behaving more like an enemy than a friend. I picked up on her insecurities, and tried to be understanding and empathetic, but she was lying to me, gaslighting, manipulating, triangulating and bread-crumbing me. She would not admit to any of her questionable behaviour when I asked her, she would try to shift blame, divert and deny. Anything to avoid apologising, and I could see every single narcissistic tactic she tried on me, which only confirmed what I already suspected. She was also paranoid, and accused me of things that were not true. She also tried to discourage me when I was trying to lose weight as you say in your video. I knew she didn't have my best interest at heart and was acting out of her own envy and insecurities, so I didn't allow her negativity to affect me, and it only fuelled me to try harder to lose the weight, and I did. She got more distant after she saw she could not control me, and started bread crumbing me, but she refused to let me go completely. She just didn't want to ruin the image she had created for herself, and when I made a comment on a page that exposes narcissistic behaviour, she got so offended that deleted me and blocked me. I guess me talking about something she did to me that was not nice, hurt her feelings or image, in my opinion. Then after she could not manipulate me/fool me, she tried to manipulate my husband by text, with a lot of lies and twists describing herself as an honest person LOL, but that only made her look ridiculous and pathetic, because she tried to blame me for the end of the friendship. She ended it very slowly with her lies, then waited for me to say something so she could blame me for the end. I didn't take it, and neither did my husband. Thank you for this video Stephanie! It will help many people recognise the "frenemies" in their life and make sure we don't allow this toxicity to infiltrate our lives 🙂
My ex narc gf would always say “I’m happy for you”, which translated to: she is jealous, lol. I couldn’t share any details about my happiness that didn’t involve her.
Sometimes the insecure people are dealing with depression. I try to keep tabs on myself (i have bipolar)...and i am guilty of doing SOME these things. (One upping, comparing myself with others, that kind of thing). If i feel super depressed...i try to isolate myself bc i will be THIS insecure person and i don't want to be that way at all. My perspective is always off on either extreme end of the spectrum...im working on it though...i truly am. I want to be a healthy person with a mental illness.
I will be uploading a video soon on how to parenting yourself that i think you really help you! I also want you to listen to my video on how to eliminate your anxiety and how to increase your self-confidence by changing your thoughts.. these videos will start on you the path towards self-love! It is a journey but you absolutely will get there! You have the desire to improve and work through this and you will!
Stephanie Lyn Coaching i wish i could share my whole story with you! I have made leaps and bounds i NEVER imagined! Im aware that i still have a lot to work on.
YOU ARE AMAZING AND ABSOLUTELY STRONG. I SEE TREMENDOUS GROWTH AND YOU ARE A TRUE STAR. ITS A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH US YOUR EXPERIENCE ❤️
Pb & J-- i would be your friend- as long as people i am friends with will agree that we can both talk openly when one of us is having an off day- when my symptoms of personality disorders show up- i would love to have the kind of friend to let me know & care about me anyway & vice versa!
Thank you so much!!! I have no one to talk to about this, it’s been with me all my life, starting with my own parents. It’s depleted my energy and filled me with indignant anger. I’ve been continuously fighting for my own survival, let alone emotional well-being. My conditioning has been so toxic, but now I’m doing the hard work to heal myself. Now I know not to take on their energy and to love myself even more instead.
This is so on point and is one of the reasons I avoid these individuals at all cost they are definitely insecure and jealousy only surround yourself around healthy people! 💯
This video was illuminating! My ex did the one up thing all the time. I remember once texting him about my promotion I just minutes before got, I was so happy and just wanted him to be proud. Instead he replied that’s great, same here... and went on about his job and successes, all of course way better then mine. Understanding that he was insecure really makes a lot of sense, despite the fact I didn’t initially watch this video with him in mind. Thank you for sharing this information. X
A few years ago, I got into an argument with a long term friend when she was tearing me down with judgemental behavior and I finally said that she seemed miserable in her own life. She came back with having a new potential relationship, a great apartment, and friends. I then answered with- you still seem unhappy and I feel sorry for you. I never heard from her again and she even childishly unfriended me on Facebook which I discovered after about a month later. It took that discovery for me to stop feeling sad about losing a friend I had had since middle school and I actually had a good laugh over it. And it got me thinking about each time she made fun of someone for liking the wrong music, wearing the wrong clothes, and/or even liking a lame movie the whole time I knew her. No one needs that as a friend, no one deserves to be put down for liking anything or choices they have made. Love and acceptance, that's my lesson from her.
Yes, my siblings. I’ve experienced a lifetime of this but since I’ve gone no contact I feel so good. Thank you for this. I’ll play it every time I am overthinking and being that person who tries to fight it but you end up getting sucked in and they become even more passively violent… it’s never ending. I’m learning to walk away 🙏🏽
Boy can I relate. One coworker has speaks badly about me to all the other coworkers. To my face she is really nice. She is what I call a mean girl. No one likes me it's easier for them to speak badly about me then to get to know me. I took 6 days off and came back see one girl braided her hair like mine, 7 girls wore silver hoop earings like my white gold hoops, 1 wore silver hoops and diamonds in the second piercing like I wear everyday . I realized that day that they were jealous of me. This was the only day they copied my style.
I used to be a very very jealous and insecure teenager and I know for a fact that it is a common thing to be as a teenager. Once you realize that it’s just a downwards spiral for your self esteem it’s too late and it becomes a habit to start drama everywhere you go without even realizing.
I have one such person. They always have to one up you, even if you are ill - oh my gosh they're even more ill than you, whilst prancing about the picture of health... and poking in people's lives and then judging them. Oh so and so has so many clothes - so what, they're young and carefree and they enjoy clothes. Someone has a nice car and there's this dig of 'oh it's fine for SOME people - why shouldn't they have a nice car!? I've learned to tune it out, not take any of it personally, yep they most probably say crap things behind my back but guess what they do it to every one. I've learned not to react because others will pick up on it. It's unfortunately in a work situation and me getting upset achieves nothing. It pays to just take it from where it comes, it's not personal, that kind of person is likely to do it with everyone.
This person sounds like they have gone through trauma…my bro is the same and we come from a narcissistic family of origin (in other words a family that likes to look good on paper and each siblings were pitted against each other for adoration and applause from our unpleasable narcissist parents). When people haven’t dealt with their past, they can hardly look within because of the shame they carry with it. And so any opportunity they can shed that shame off to someone else, they will and they do it any opportunity they get including making up situations where they can dump shame on someone. Until they have dealt with their own past and see that the trauma/abuse was not their fault and that they no longer feel like something is wrong with them, then they stop being jealous of people’s happiness or self-expression. The kind of ‘trauma’ the person felt is all relative to that person’s experience so there’s no worse-off or better-off trauma, it just is as devastating as any other to the victim. My bro has not gotten over that he is gay and can have a fulfilling life. I learned my father was ashamed of him all his life and never was interested in what my bro did. So my bro took that on as an identity: a person who will never make his father happy because there is something innately wrong with him. It is absolutely false. My father didn’t have the capacity to love a child that was too different in his lifetime. Now, in his 60’s (I’m in my 40’s) anything I have accomplished well in his eyes is an attack on his very existence as a human and any failure that he perceives I go through (I call them the natural progression of a human being going through their rebellious teens, independence attempts in my 20’s, and questioning life at 30’s), he revels in the plight that life throws at me through the progression of my growth and self-development. I cut him off after my father passed away because even after a few years of no contact prior to the funeral, not only did he get worse, but a simple smile from me or an authentic interaction causes him rage. He will never change. After I accepted that, I let go of three friends who acted just like him. I didn’t see what I didn’t see until I was ready to see it. Peace with you Leazy, drop these people from your life.
This sounds like my relative. No one has ever had it better or worse than her. When I told her that I fell down a flight of stairs--she fell down three . When I told her that I just bought a house, she said that she'd bought two. When I told her that I had an illness, hers was the worst the doctor had ever seen. When I told her that I'd made a major accomplishment, it was nothing in comparison to her achievement. There's no end to this one-upping. She's completely self-absorbed. This is hurtful as she's a close relative who should be supporting me instead of competing with me. She makes me feel like nothing I do matters--like I don't matter.
If this is the same relative as your previous comment then yes she is severely insecure. When you recognize this is people it is easier to not take anything they do personally.
Bobette I have an aunt like this...we used to be super close as she loved giving advice...in hindsight it fed her narc ego. My mother passed away when I was young so I was desperate for her attn & validation. Shes hurt me a lot & taken advantage of this vulnerability in me. Not anymore. Im standing up for the first time and the backlash is real. It does hurt but I try to remind myself its not personal (when it feels 100% personal) & my self respect is more impt than suffering through an unequal relationship where I cant be seen/heard. Hugs to you. Lets stay strong together 💓
I have a cousin exactly like this. I have been so badly hurt so many times by her. I know she is extremely jealous of me (although I really don't know why), and she is very spiteful in a very subtle way. I find it very challenging being around her and I have found your video so helpful and validating. It is the most exasperating thing to put up with the pseudo crap that these people come out with. Thank you for exposing them so well.
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Jealous insecure people will covertly try and destroy you, when you are least aware
I didn't remember this but I had read somewhere that an "Ex-friend" of mine and I were talking on the phone and how she kept interrupting me to boast about all the presents that her husband, who was then her boyfriend bought her for Valentine's Day. After she got married, she was boasting about what she read and what she had cooked.
Yes they do I'm dealing with a jealous person now on top of that she's a narcissist
@@michaelbannerman3035 I feel your pain! I cut off a Narc ''Friend'' who was very Insecure, Jealous, Envious, Spiteful, and Bitter. All she wants to do is bring me down!
@@AbsoluteMdot I did the same as well. It was jus getting too toxic. I cut all ties with that person
AbsoluteMdot -my neighbor was a friend. We talked a lot about different things. To make a long story short we are not friends. She would ask me to take her to the doctor all the time. I quit it. Now she bad mouths me to other neighbors and you can hear screaming and her rants on me. I ignore it all. I cut her off. She is mean and I took it. I feel better that I quit her but have to hear her rages.
They try their best to compete with you when you are barely even aware of their existence.😂
I've had friends and family like this. Being good to them won't help. Loving them won't help. Being happy or supportive of them won't help. They never change. You aren't the problem, they are.
Life is short. Save yourself some time and just distance yourself from them or cut them off altogether.
That's the exact realization that I came to.
Have you tried being brutally rude to them? I have, & it works! Then they keep their distance from you!
Absolutely. They try to complete your not even aware of your just being you trying to be nice then one day you just see it for what it is . It can also be a group of insecure women who gossip gossip and they they reaffirm each other options or insecurities about you and they gang up on you. It horrible experience .
@@kimo386 You will notice that their "target" keeps changing. Whoever is making them feel rotten about themselves at that point of time, I guess. And they can never do it (attack their target) alone - they do it in a gang. It took me some time to realize that they are never happy - BECAUSE THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE IN THEIR LIVES WHO IS MAKING THEM FEEL INADEQUATE!!
@@kimo386 Yes, I learnt a lot of petty little mean-girl games from them. Frankly, I think these women are a HUGE waste of time - I would rather spend time with my kind and intelligent friends, but these shitheads have to be dealt with effectively, because they tend to upset you
Insecurity is loud and confidence is silent
YES! true.
Well put. Bravo. 🙏
Yep!
I am not a jealous or envious person but I have to tell you that being confident is not something we all can do when we were raised by insecure parents. I also know a lot of envious people who are quiet about everything, not because they are "confident" but because they don't want to attract envy to themselves. They know what the power of envy can really do to them. It's the people who are not sick with envy, who do not understand it, and who share everything like an open book and get hit by envy attacks from those who are sick with this mental disease.
Love it
I believe insecure ppl really dislike healthy happy ppl who actually love themselves...
The ones without self awareness, yes.
MHNbysheterra m Yes, ma'am. They hate it.
MHNbysheterra m Thanks for posting.
MHNbysheterra m but they do admire healthy self esteem person's confidence.. because they find these people on a higher vibration
MHNbysheterra m 😀😘
I can literally tell from how a person looks at me. I can spot the jealousy in their eyes
hello dear do you need any help I. can help you out it worked for me.. whtsap me let's chat better...
+1(831) 612 2886
yess and the looks they give me mostly from middle aged women though which is so sad considering im a teen lol.
Same😞
I can tell when I come across people if there good or evil I pick it up straight away.Thats y I'm a lone wolf🐺
After years of jealousy directed at me I now take it as a massive compliment. I’ve learned to take it as a sign that I am still looking great.
Exactly! It's a compliment.
Such a great way to look at it! This week I was feeling down that a large friend always wanted to downplay good things happening to me, when I change my whatsapp profile pic she soon changes hers, when I say something good i have she makes stuff up trying to compete. I truly saw her as a friend. But she changed. And Became negative and competitive. And now I'm taking it as a compliment instead of feeling down!!😊
“Sometimes having money,the car,the big house doesn’t cause jealousy because they could have that all and more , what causes jealousy is your essence , your energy, your aura the way you manage your values in life. Those things that make you shine and no one can ever turn off, is THAT what causes jealousy. “
Soo true!
We just want to live I don't know what is my fault in the whole world of war is one individual
There are individuals who will envy everything about you: your personality , your best career, your house , your cars , your style of dress, your style of talking , just your everything. Inside of them, they wish they could have been you instead of being themselves. THEY LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. So, as a result of how they feel about you, they turn against you. YOUR CONFIDENCE KILLS THEM. They fail to understand how you have gained that because you grew up with them, under same difficult conditions. YOU BECOME A WONDER TO THEIR WORLD. Envy , Jealousy and hate takes over their lives. They become a danger to your life. Then you isolate in order to save your own life. That is when friendships and sibling relationship become vile and to END.
@@lindamanamela7998 bing stupid is an art codependent adult children is trash but you can't pissed at sick person
@@lindamanamela7998 very well said! I’ve lived this!!😢 I could never verbalize what was happening, couldn’t ever understand or ever imagine it happening to me or anyone because I don’t think that way. Reading your comment really helped me to understand & see that it was exactly that. You nailed it
Nailed it too! Well said 👍
Jealous people will always try to bring happy people down.. they want people to feel how they feel.. "Miserable"
💯
misery loves company
If confident people are much more proficient isn't it a mistake to just move away and refuse to help the envious? Helping without sacrificing yourself, sometimes just an "I can help you see your bright side" can make a big difference in the other person's life
Soo True!. It's crazy! I'm soo happy I ran across this Video❤😊😢
Gossip is rooted in unexpressed, unconscious rage...avoid avoid!
Is this a quote? It's such powerful information and concise.
Cyd Simone it’s actually black magic...or categorized as black magic
Most people have talk about someone so I more concern about the vicious ones, the ones that spy on you and fabricate stories for no reason or indication and pathological gossipers talk nasty about everyone all the time.
@@caseyl.1684 can you explain more about black magic because I have a lot of people gossiping about me
Very true
People share their good news with me and I feel happy but when I share my good news with them, they become upset.
loreta ben don’t bother to share.
They probably think you're trying to one up them when you're simply sharing. This whole jealous narcissist stuff can be confusing & hard to interpret sometimes. Good luck!
Me too.. they did the same thing to me too.. they share about thier goals and I just give a positive response because I was really happy for them when they share a good news with me and sometimes obviously the story is better than mine. And finally after a long conversation, I recognize that conversation is a sign of her jealousy towards me.. and trying to drag me down, then lately I decided to stopped sharing about my life and my goals.. because I just want to be me..and I love myself.. and I will not compare myself with others. Because I know what's the best for me.. what I am capable of and what's the things that I am not in to it..
Or they ignore you and pretend like you didn't say anything.
Yesss. Like you said nothing!! Oh well, whatever 😊☕️
it's simple don't deal with them. Jealous, Envious and Insecure people do not have your best interest!
How simple, to don't deal with coworkers! Especially if they sneak at your workplace to sabotage your work. Very simple to avoid this!
@Anitra Jenay You are absolutely right about that.
They drain the energy
I actually have an interest to make them look into themselves and make them feel better. I discuss my flaws that way they will start to see me in the norm as them and maybe eventually start to like me.
100 percent... bye 👋👋👋
I have dealt with jealous and insecure people, and I genuinely never take it on. In the moment, I handle it by being light and kind and even laughing off what they're saying, but if I notice someone is consistently like that, I distance myself from them. These sorts of people are energy vampires.
That is the best attitude.
Dancing Appaloosa,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
✅
& you never give them the energy or your attention.
Sooo true alot of healthy ppl don't even like to brag...
Exactly because they do not need to. They are secure within themselves and do not need the outside validation to make themselves feel better. Thanks for the comment!
Stephanie Lyn Coaching
Your welcome
This is so true and extremely accurate.
MHNbysheterra m healthy ppl are just being themselves..not even aware they pose a threat...🤔😑🙂
100% true... I had a friend in the past who had a really good job, alot of money, a nice boyfriend and she NEVER gave me the feeling that I was less then her or was bragging about her relationship, she was always really proud of me and the things I achieved. It are always the people with alot of drama and problems who brag or has to drag you down.
Its hard for me that abusers get their bad behavior excused,while victims get called too sensitive.
Yes..its injustice
I agree, I had 'too sensitive' alot as a child. It's a manipulative statement often used as an excuse to not take responsibility for what one is saying.
@@kieransimpson4965 💯 facts
SO true...always swept under the rug...it's unbelievable
The worst people get attention...and the good are left behind or even abused !...speak up and put them in their place..in a educated way..*
I'm not intimdated by other people beauty if you look good. I pay people compliments.
Absolutely. You have to be good with yourself. You have to be confident with yourself.
Truee.
You are happy with yourself
Absolutely true, I always find something good to say, !!!
I’m going through a horrible situation , and is making me very sad, and because on that , I feel rejected, no empathy, a friend said to me, don’t tell your problems, they don’t care , I think everyone is kind “!!!!
Never share anything with a narcissistic person even if there you’re own parents! They will do anything in the power to destroy you’re joy . Envy runs through there evil veins !
You find ways to make them become the laughing stock.
Yes! If you feel uneasy sharing good news with someone, that’s your biggest sign they’re a narcissist
This is the truth my mom is one and I don’t never share nothing with her I mean nothing at all.
I had a personal experience and I can say that these people will secretly copy everything you do it can reach to the point of obsession. At the same time they will feel threatened by your light. They will project their insecurities and call your confidence arrogance. They will turn every quality you have to a flaw because they can't stand seeing you as a good person.
If you’re getting a lot of jealousy, keep on shining and know it’s a sign you’re doing great 😃💕🌸
The best comback to do to a jealous and insecure is to pay no attention. Sadly to a lot of people are insecure/jealous even adults
I respectfully disagree. I usually serve them a dose of their own medicine and walk away. Works every time 👍🏼
I take it as a compliment
growing alults
If they walk out in the 1st place & they come crawling back i,ll say sorry there,s no room for you you dug your grave you have to lie in it.
@@thesandrabebe7478 Ok but how?
You never know what a person went through to get what they have and where they are. That is a statement enough to keep a person from being jealous or insecure.
Yeah I've done well for myself, I've had people say you are just lucky, they don't realize that you spent a lot of time reparenting yourself.
I wish it really were! It seems like someone filled with jealousy can have it all- and still be jealous of your potential.
Question: How do I deal with jealous,insecure people?
Answer: Have as little contact as possible, even if that means cutting them out of my life. These people are toxic.
Yep but if you have to deal with them at work for example, better to be equipped
Naled N yes, for sure. The insecure people at work are the worst because they’re inescapable. I have gotten burned by these types more than one time. They are miserable creatures and will dig to get personal info on you, so they can find some way to one up you or put you down to feel better about themselves. My strategy is to just keep the conversation very surface level and be vague, keep the conversation short. There are a lot of people that believe in “misery loves company,” and with these types, I keep my distance. By the way, these types are stealthy and may seem like a great friend at first, but time will vet them out!
Spot on Karen, Thank you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@karend4155 Yes baby I have seen it all.
I had somebody at work who stealthily sabotaged my work. Fortunately my boss noticed...
Steph, you described my whole family. I bought a house 2 yrs ago noone congratulated me, but i did hear thru the grapevine the question was asked "how did she buy a house?" I have a cousin that 1 ups me on everything financial. I distanced myself from all those fake folks. I am so happy in life right now...flaws and all.
I believe a healthy person doesn't gossip period! They usually just do their stuff.
when you think about it, it's stupid to think like insecure people...I mean their logic is this "destroy others so I get the upper hand"...why not try harder in life and do better instead of destroying others?
This used to be my life for the last 31 years until I distanced myself from those types of people in my life. Best feeling ever!
Destiny Plummer yes!
🙌🏼 ABSOLUTELY ✊🏼👍🏼
You must be a SAINT
@@leoliu7840 still a work in progress 🤷🏿♂️, but thanks all the same! 👍🏿
The thing I do love about social media is that a photo speaks a thousand words and for so called friends you can post what’s going on in your life and if things are going well, you can tell who’s the most jealous that you’re happy and successful not by what they say but by how they go radio silent.
I go radio silent when narcs in my family post self-absorbed, photos or false accomplishments (or rewrite history when talking to me or any number of blatant lies) when actually both they and I do know the truth. I mean, it is uncomfortable and I just don't respond. I don't want to hurt these both fragile and also vicious people. They probably think I am jealous haha
I go silent when they start copy everything i do blatantly without even a touch of creativity, its appaling i dont know how to get rid of them
@@kmartin2988 I agree that there are delusional people in every family that think we want to see every little moment in their lives, I think they think they are influencers LOL. But it's not narcissistic to want people who supposedly care about you to be happy for you when you rarely give personal updates about your life. I'm not referring to those who overshare and overpost, I'm talking about the once a year photo to show what you've been up to.
THISSSS.
My ex narc tried to make me jealous in public..staring at other women..I was not having that...he told me that i was jealous and insecure and sensitive..I told him that it was not jealousy but disrespect!
U too start looking at other boys in front of him😁
Total disrespect!!!
I hope you kicked him to the curb
Typical projection of himself onto you. Good he's now your ex
I know right? When a man does that I dont feel jealous. I feel DISRESPECTED. It is a huge difference. As I know my value I dont feel the need to be jealous of that other woman. I feel disrespected by the man engaging in such a behaviour.
Wow this explains my past co workers. I'm so glad I left that job. I'm so much healthier and happier.
Boitomu
True been there done that..
Did you leave because of this?
same. Hope you are doing well now!
Trying to do the same
I was very insecure when I.was in high school and I used to have this fear of people judging me , so when I was in situations where I felt judged I got defensive and could fight these people physically. Took a lot of therapy and hard work to get over it. I also had social anxiety key was fear of being judged , I felt people were out there to judge me , but I am glad I can laugh about it now. I am now comfortable in public and I am No longer insecure. What i can tell anyone dealing with insecurities is that they should acknowledge them and work on them.
beauty queen Absolutely! You have to know where your triggers are and you have to know where your wounds are in order for them to heal and for you to get to a healthy place. You sound like you are in a great space! Thank you so much for your comment.
Glad you worked on it ❤️. I need to work on both not being insecure and manipulative and not letting insecure manipulative destructive people into my life. And I think all the tools she gives us and things se teaches us are great because I want to do the right thing, I just never knew this stuff.
Best answer!
Thank you so much for your perfect advice ❤🙏😊
How did you get rid of your social-anxiety?
Sometimes the jealous or insecure person is actually the person receiving the good news that you may try to share with your 'loved ones'. Their reaction says it all. If they're not happy for you, don't tell them anything ever again. 🤫
It’s the opposite to don’t share bd news with them it makes them feel happy that your struggling
@@Zoegottiy FACTS
They can actually be very phoney and fake, so sometimes they will "celebrate" for you but I could sense the flattery. It's definitely a deep rooted issue they are dealing with.
Am jealous and insecure with my partner am just pushing him away and he's always getting angry with me anything I say I've been with him 19 years we don't ever talk that much no more when we go out we don't even walk next to each other I feel like the Rangers I love you so much I don't know how to make this better for this relationship??
@@dionnewheeler9930 It's not going to get better stop wasting your time and disrespecting yourself.
I just left my job where I had a jealous and emotionally abusive boss. At first I was affected, but then began to see the patterns and, instead, began to take stock of their behavior. After enough time went by, I was able to clearly see that I was in an unhealthy relationship. I gave my notice and left. It was a huge relief, and I even lost a few pounds I had gained while working there because of the stress.
Me too! I dropped 10 pounds after leaving a toxic work place.
Yes... you cant, CANT just deal with jealous ppl.
You needs to go no contact n completely distance yourself from them.
I used to fight back on matter of principle without realizing how insecure and vicious and unprincipled the people I was "schooling" were. I thought I was helping by showing them the scrupulous way. Wasting my time, energy. You know when someone is no good when you feel it in your gut. Stay away
What is hard is when the narcissist needs you to prove your point, prove to them or others that you actually have value. It's exhausting trying to fill their level of expectation even if you have exceeded it.
Yeah just don't play there game and u are right I just sit back and chill
Never feel you have to Prove your value or worth! Never, Ever!
This is so true !!
They do that, so you can supply them with emotional energy and exhaust you, it a game they play, and most times don't even need you to explain anything. There also known as emotional vampires, who feed of the energy and emotions of others!
No no no, you turn the table on them and start acting like anything they do is never good enough and put them down at every possible opportunity and leave them, hide as much information about your life without them as possible, and never try to prove anything to them. Just make sure you give them exactly the same treatment they're giving you. That's going to drive them crazy. Of course you should do all that only if you're prepared for war ha ha, but if you really want revenge, you'll have to go to war with them.
my zodiac sign can easily see through people and detect jealousy. when i sense jealousy from someone who subliminally tries to throw shade, i passify them with a compliment so they can feel better about their pitiful selves. they're usually shocked by the compliment and it shuts them the eff up with a smile.
Don't give Dem satisfaction,dey don't deserve it
What is your sun sign? Must be an intuitive water sign??:)
Same I'm a aquirus see through so much with my 3rd eye
El capitan aka lie detector
do you just happen to be a Pisces?
I have recently been shocked to realise how unhappy with themselves some people are.....I have noticed the body language of some people and the way they avoid me at times, even in my church people have pretended to like me, then have pulled away from me by cold shouldering etc
I am beginning to understand there is nothing wrong with me.....but the problem shows their insecurity and low self esteem.
Understanding this has been life changing.
Thank you Lyn for confirming this fact.
You would be miserable had you been ugly too
She is so beautiful.
Agreed...but knows her stuff.
She might be a beautiful person inside as well.. She's stunning even without make up!!
I’m glad you said it. i didn’t want to detract from her content!
I think a lot of people are only thinking about themselves that's why they act like their more important and better than people.
I think I get a lot of jealous people. There is nothing you can do about them but stay away from them. They are going to try to tear you down and you really can't make them stop. They are negative unpleasant people so who has time for them? They aren't going to get anywhere because they waste time trying to destroy others rather than build themselves. If they can destroy you to build themselves, that is about all they will accomplish at your expense.
Babu absolutely! Well said!
Babu You're so right. Deep down their miserable.
Stephanie Lyn Coaching This really makes me sad though. There are people I love that are like this. Is there a way to have a conversation about security and insecurity to encourage more self awareness?
NEVER ✊💪🏼 I am strong... their evil energy only makes me stronger.
A very informative, educative and insightful discussion. Regrettably, we are all surrounded with these people and sometimes it is difficult to realize that their selfish behaviors are propelled by deep-seated insecurities
fred ombachi thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed the video.
There's billions of them unfortunately.....
make a video called "how to help insecure people" if you haven't already
fred ombachi U r right.
Wow. Thanks for sharing.
How to deal with insecure people :
1) Dump them.
That is all.
Sometimes u can't dump e.g family member .. co worker etc ..
I would normally agree... But there is good and bad jealousy. I'm realizing that sometimes we contribute to the insecurities by doing so. There's a certain amount of normalcy within "jealousy"
I wish it was that simple
😂😂😂 right. I dump all, family members included.
In reality a lot of people are subconciously insecure about themselves and jealous of others . It's whether they act on their insecurities/jealousy that makes the different between love and hate relationships.
I've had this troubling problem with friends.. I've actually come to the ultimate conclusion being, .....just be super super cool, super nice, super polite, have great composure and slowly fade them out of your life,........ that way you keep your dignity and sanity... and in the end, the result will be , its all them, that's the only conclusion that can be made by them and you in the history books
I am generally so happy when others accomplish something in their lives . Thank you God for making me a safe person. Jealous is a sign your soul is sick. Bless them lord. They need the light
When I was going thru a deep depression...I talked badly about people and it was usually those with less than me. When I came out of that 'season' I said to myself and others that I did not feel good knowing I gossiped! I confirmed for myself that misery loves company!
One girl was jealous of me because her husband acknowledged me. She started bossing me around on the job so I confronted her and said that if she wants me to do something tell my boss.
I know me too that's the worst! Especially when it was just a hi or handshake geez people are so insecure but yet it's a reflection on their relationship because the guy is probably a flirt or cheater.
Oh wow just because her husband acknowledged you? That friend has to be extremely insecure. If my husband were to acknowledge other people, I wouldn't take it in a bad way. Unless he wants to cheat, that's different
my cousin used to call me all the time and wants to know everything about everybody, it is so disgusting.
Gloria can't stand gossipers💯✌
I cannot stand them either and mosey people are obnoxious....what a waste of energy
Lobilmo
Kolmi
Once you ve to slap his butt...to shake it's.
Chaiii I hate that it
I was raised by an emotionally stunted mom...I have implemented healthy boundaries thanks to a great therapist, spouse and friends
Wow. This video describes the mother in law and sister in law perfectly 👌🏼I’m really getting tired of their projections. I know that after every interaction, I do extra self-care the next day. It’s hard for an empath - you just wanna live your life and continue to be light in the world. My barre teacher old me, “remember, it’s not about you...” and when she re-framed it that way, it clicked.
K dlc I’m so glad she said that because it is an eye opening experience once you realize anyone’s negativity does have really nothing to do with you.
I really want her to make a video of a jealous mother in law
K Bee yes, I would looove that! Jealous mother and sister in law. They’re insane!!
Look Dem as mental patient.u won't be affected den😁😁
Omg my mother and sister n law also smh 🤦🏽♀️
I love this because you explain, how not to be like that, not just what jealous and insecure people look like.
I have dealt with the bragger, one upper and the hurtful jealous.
The bragger identifies with materialistic things their identity is wrapped up in it. Over exaggerating things. It is quite silly. If you have a kitchen aid and they have a kitchen aid somehow theirs is literally the best in the city. Word for word.
I have a one upper. You constantly listen to this person. Encourage them and nod. When it is your turn to say something that they asked you about. Such as a vacation for example. Response is, "our hotel is better"... it really is not but that is besides the point. The conversation was not even about whose was better.
Hurtful jealous just makes rude comments especially when you are in the process of accomplishing something.
I think they have pain deep down. They are trying to fix it the wrong way. Talking to them or mirroring back their behavior in hopes that they will see it is not nice does not work. I am focusing on me. Allowing them to grow at their own pace. That is the most loving thing I can do for them.
Roxy K absolutely! Well said!
Roxy K.
👌👍👍
You are describing my Marriage and My Narc Husband for the past 4 decades!
I have spent the past 2 yrs working on fixing myself and my perspectives and realizing the very things that both Yourself and Stephanie are saying.
Progress has been slow(like, Boy did I let him get to me Today! 😣),but I'm Still Progressing.
Where there's life there's hope,Right? ☺✌
Best wishes! 💐
Hey I know a person with all these traits and I just don't know how to deal with her honestly I'm getting annoyed and I don't wan't to bother any other classmates of mine by telling them and she got close with someone I've got closer too not anymore I guess she sat next to her and now there really close I can't talk to that person now because I'm trying to focus on my studies.
Al ways - Get in your mental bubble. Keep working on yourself.
@@queenstatus3049 Thank you for your advice I will try my hardest to do so
You popped up on my homepage just as I'm dealing with 2 people who are trying to one up me, for no apparent reason other than to make themselves look better by belittling me & potentially put my job at risk, never asked for any of it, I'm just doing me! Thank you 😊
We all must learn to embrace all living beings with empathy, while holding our personal boundaries. When we empathize with ourselves fully we don't feel the need to play any judgment games. We can simply say, this person is trapped in a pain spiral. I understand their pain and cannot allow them certain space in my world, because to do so is an act of unlove, it does not encourage them to better themselves and end their spreading of suffering.
I believe you mean sympathy not empathy
Hannah, your comment made a difference in my thinking about an insecure, jealous person that I didn't know how to behave around anymore. This perspective was very helpful. THANK YOU!
I met someone like this last week. Jealous of her boyfriend's attention towards me. She bragged about this and that. Trying to put me down. I held onto my self-confidence and self-worth. When I one-upped her as she was trying to one-up me, she asked many personal questions to make me look bad. Questions that were none of her business. She embarrassed herself and ran out crying after her boyfriend scolded her. He was not a love interest of mine at all.
I worked in Sales for 3 years. I learned so many unhealthy traits that you described in this video. Thank you for validating that i’m not crazy and giving me permission to true to myself and act like a human. Shew!!
The eyes are tge windows to the soul. When you see it, believe it. And distance yourself before it goes too far!!! Trust your gut.
I was insecure person who would take on the abuse from others. Not anymore im way more confident in myself. I will not allow anyone to treat me badly. I've grown so much.
I had a friend who just loved to say mean things to me, to my face. And they were pretty immature, belittling things too, stuff about my body or the way I acted. The thing is that he kept insisting he was only joking about it, and for my part I kept making excuses for him by believing my threshold was too low or that I was too uptight. I've told him off and made it very clear that I don't want to be friends with a bully and while he's apologised, I don't believe he has changed. I'm going to be more assertive about my boundaries with these people, because even tho they think they're being funny and cool, they're actually being insensitive towards other people's feelings and hurting them. It's not okay.
No. Distance yourself from this friend completely. You can have healthy friends who can if not praise you wont criticize unnecessarily.
Ppl dont change.
My advice: Get rid of him. He's not "joking".
People say things as ”jokes” that they really want to say but don’t have the guts to say to you without pretending to joke. They mean it.
What a great video! I have a jealous insecure person in my life. I have to deal with this person almost daily. Even though deep down they mean well, they always end up lashing out at me and mocking me for any reason they can think of. I always took it personally even though I never showed it. Now I understand that this person only lashes out to deal with their own shortcomings! It all fell into place when I watched this video. Thank you so much for your videos and advice, Stephanie! he more I watch, the more things fall into perspective!! You are super.
I still feel like I shrink down when girls I work with be little or gossip about me
I guess I need to be a better parent to myself , positive self talk 👍
Haha this totally hits home! I've had friends I've known for years who've made bad decisions (that I do not judge them for, but they just want to be further a head in life) & when one friend came to visit me I could tell she was jealous. She wanted a tour of my house, & when we were done she commented about how she was going to have more land. Nothing about the house or anything. I also noticed that she fell off the face of the earth after she visited. Jealous people won't stick around, they can't be happy for you & it eats away at them that you "did better." It's so dumb, I'm not in a competition with anyone & I do not flaunt things. She also criticized me for how or what I did with my own child, because she had to find something to nit pick.
Towards the end I couldn't figure out why she never wanted to talk, I was more than happy to rearrange my day so we could chat & catch up. I would call & she wouldn't respond. I would txt & she'd get back to me 2 weeks later with, "So sorry I was so busy, her child is in school, blah blah." So when she said she was having her 2nd child I made some cloth burp rags, & a crinkle toy for the new baby. The only time I hear from her is when she has something to brag about, then once she's done she lets me go. So when she texted pics of the new baby I didn't respond. Later on social media she commented that I never called when he was born. Looking back I should have said, "Oh well didn't you get the gifts?" But I went with " I would love to continue this conversation, but not on social media. You know my number too." A few days later she had deleted me. I think I'll live. I don't want fake friends. I have learned that if a friend says all the time "we should get together sometime!!" Then they fall off the face of the earth everytime...the next time match their commitment level. Don't say oh how about Tues! I begun saying to similar friends, "Oh yeah that sounds fun." Or "yeah we should sometime. " if they truly want to they'll schedule something.
No, they never stick around.. Good for you for recognizing this behavior! It is so important towards attracting and keeping a healthy circle of friends around you.
I had the same with a friend of mine... She always ignores me when things are going well for me or she cuts me off in a conversation. And the only time when she texts me she's bragging about something. It's like she always wants to compete with me. She just can't be happy and don't want to pay attention to The positive things I achieve and the growth that I am in. Very exausting and insecure behaviour. I really needed distance because it was really bad for my mental and physical health.
This is why I don't have many friends :-)
Something similar happened to me too. Never once she said she was happy for me or congratulated me on anything: work, school, or losing weight. Has sabotaged previous relationships of mine when she’s supposedly “happy in love” with her bf. Crashed my car. Ditched me in another country. There’s more but can’t think of it. I’ve come to realize you can’t make excuses for these people & they’re just toxic and they think it’s everyone else but them. I also think it’s a form of narcissism. What also helped me is to realize I would never want her around my future family or my future spouse & kids to know her she would be jealous about everything and you can’t trust people like that.
My gosh. Although U am aware of some things you commented You helped me with more. I thought it was me but I was to trusting and compassionate to believe they could be this way. Thank you so much.
That really hit home for me I used to be the person who wanted all the tea gossiped about people judged and I have been on a healing journey and I literally feel disgusting now when I talk bad about others it’s an amazing moment of growth.
I lived with people like this all my life. The only way to cope is to walk away and create a distance between you and that person or people. I’m much healthier when I’m not around toxic people! And currently I’m back living with another person who’s afraid to come out of the closet so of course they make me their victim. I’m looking for a way out as I type! I can’t deal with people who are not comfortable in their own skin.
I wish I could like this video 7,000 times.
😂😂 thank you 😉
only 7,000 times? ;)
Yesss me too. She's so right.
Me 2..
@@StephanieLynCoaching I'm dealing with someone right now and I'm dying laughing how insecure he is I know it's kinda bad and I got triggered lately
I found many people growing were always jealous or would try to compete with me and I don’t know why. I have always shared what I had with these people. I never bragged about what I had just shared it. I eventually didn’t want to be around them anymore.
I was once a magnet for these people. Now I do my best to smile politely and ignore! 🙄
hello dear do you need any help I. can help you out it worked 😘 me.. whtsap me let's chat better.😘😍🇺🇸🇺🇲🇱🇷🇱🇷.
+1(831) 612 2886....
This is really 👍🏾 great!!! I’ve been the person wallowing in self pity and/or taking on the projections, letting the person hit the wound in me... so it helped that you said I have to “parent myself, love myself, giving myself “self talk,” coaching myself and encouraging myself!!! Thank you for making things this plain!!!!! I so needed it! God bless u!
Analyzing the actions of envious and resentful people in your life might give you some understanding as to why they act the way that they do, but it doesn't change their negative interactions with you. What's more important is your early recognition of toxic people in your life, then doing something about it... It's called walking away and never looking back.
I am absolutely ruthless with these type of people, they don't deserve any mercy. My mom always tells me I shouldn't be so harsh towards them but I completely disagree, they don't deserve any sympathy or mercy.
I just wish people were more wiser as they got older & sadly they are many sheep's.
Yesssssss
You're a Godsend. Head & Heart in alignment. So smart. So beautiful. Her understanding of psychology is deep, complex and accurate.
Be cordial and kind to them and truly give them to GOD, but the ones who truly internationally or unintentionally want to hurt you, you stay away but pray for them. These are orders, instructions, commands from OUR FATHER ❤ It is written, I know because I read HIS WORD.
GOD Bless You in the Name of Jesus Christ 📖📖📖🙇♀️🙇♀️❤❤
AMEN!
They are very sick people.......the crazy makers. They mess up somebody else life to feel good but they will never feel good or happy because they are really sick and very unhappy. Maybe they have extreme anger insecurity issues.
Jesus is the Son of God, Jehovah said "this is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him." Luke 9:28-36. Luke 2:22 "and the Holy Spirit descended on him and bodily form like a dove and a voice Came From Heaven: "you are my son whom I love with you I am well pleased."
Jehovah made the claim that Jesus is his Son. Therefore he is a God, the one true God.
If they screw with me the wrong way, I'll give them to god, alright! 😁
What do you mean unintentionally
What is up with all the dislikes in her videos? She is the best coach! Love the help and support! I just subscribed to your channel thank you so much beautiful! :)
The insecure jealous people dislike this video.
@@dawnemile7499 Exactly. 🤣🤣🤣
Beyond my expectations! You are great! I was the insecure person that you described. I was born in a very educated family with siblings outcompeted me. So I tried to lash out at my loved ones and bragged about my success. But now I am less insecure as I achieve real accomplishment. This is a big discovery for me. Now I understand why I acted like I was.
Ignore them. Pray for them!
Ignoring them is not always the best choice. Sometimes we need to set boundaries around toxic behaviour.
Agreed! It tends to get worse
There is a lot of jelouse people in the world and they just can't help them selves as they love always putting other people Down. I hate gossipers always tickle tattling
Absolutely. I hate gossip. I had to deal with a group of women I'm had to distance myself from these women no good for me. Not supportive at all.
I'm not going to lie, early in my 20's to late 20's, I was this person. It took me a lot to get away from this type of behavior and it takes alot of accountability to do so. I'm running into the problem now, the girl that I was dating has these issues and I'm trying to work through this and I know the feeling because I've been through it. It hurts watching it. Great stuff.
hello dear do you need any help I. can help you out it worked for me.. whtsap me let's chat better...
+1(831) 612 2886
It sad knowing your friend was not true to you… But be happy true friend will always be true no matter what
Great video!! I'm learning that if I just sit back and focus on being myself people that are jealous and insecure won't bother me. Like water off a ducks back!!
When I used to get jealous I would say “what God does for them he will do for me, sometimes more”. It has helped me so much and it is true statement because God is faithful. His timing is not our timing.
I deal with such a person every single day for the last 6 years. Thank you for your message. Makes me feel better. Much love ❤️
What is it called when you tell someone something "neutral" about yourself, and they turn it into something HORRIBLE that's happening to you?
I don't understand " neutral" ..what are neutral things about people?
Jennifer Thom To me that means something so say as simple as, "oh i have to take my car in to get new brakes," and they say "oh my goodness are you going to have to get a new car!!!" To me thats what that means, like almost hoping your shit just collapses.
Um... That's telekinesis, teleporting the truth to exaggerated lies. 😁
I know what you mean! Like i am telling my friend that i have now a few Allergies but its okay i can Deal with it, and she replies, that she feels soo so sorry for me and that she is happy for herself, that she dont have allergies and she said "this is the one thing, i wouldnd want to change with you". Like wth?! What does this meeaan?!
@@Anna-rb5pc I have some allergies too and have received comments like "oh it must be rubbish not being able to eat that, I'm so glad I don't have allergies." It's such a negative, presumptuous comment because my life improved once I cut out certain foods and I don't miss them. It can be a challenge eating out but usually places can cater to allergies plus I like cooking from scratch myself, so it's not a problem for me, but other people try to imply that it's a big problem and even make me feel like I'm this disappointing person because I'm allergic to a few things.
Stepanie, this is so on point. I am experiencing this damn near everyday. This one particular woman needs serious help. I am so aware of the behavior. Her energy is strong. It so obvious that she is very unhappy and emotionally unstable
You just described my 60 year old neighbour. She presented herself as a friend, asking a lot of questions and was fun at the beginning, but for the last 2 years, she was behaving more like an enemy than a friend. I picked up on her insecurities, and tried to be understanding and empathetic, but she was lying to me, gaslighting, manipulating, triangulating and bread-crumbing me. She would not admit to any of her questionable behaviour when I asked her, she would try to shift blame, divert and deny. Anything to avoid apologising, and I could see every single narcissistic tactic she tried on me, which only confirmed what I already suspected. She was also paranoid, and accused me of things that were not true. She also tried to discourage me when I was trying to lose weight as you say in your video. I knew she didn't have my best interest at heart and was acting out of her own envy and insecurities, so I didn't allow her negativity to affect me, and it only fuelled me to try harder to lose the weight, and I did. She got more distant after she saw she could not control me, and started bread crumbing me, but she refused to let me go completely. She just didn't want to ruin the image she had created for herself, and when I made a comment on a page that exposes narcissistic behaviour, she got so offended that deleted me and blocked me. I guess me talking about something she did to me that was not nice, hurt her feelings or image, in my opinion. Then after she could not manipulate me/fool me, she tried to manipulate my husband by text, with a lot of lies and twists describing herself as an honest person LOL, but that only made her look ridiculous and pathetic, because she tried to blame me for the end of the friendship. She ended it very slowly with her lies, then waited for me to say something so she could blame me for the end. I didn't take it, and neither did my husband. Thank you for this video Stephanie! It will help many people recognise the "frenemies" in their life and make sure we don't allow this toxicity to infiltrate our lives 🙂
hello dear do you need any help I. can help you out it worked 😘 me.. whtsap me let's chat better.😘😍🇺🇸🇺🇲
+1(831) 612 2886.
My ex narc gf would always say “I’m happy for you”, which translated to: she is jealous, lol. I couldn’t share any details about my happiness that didn’t involve her.
I had forgotten how much I need to watch these types of videos. Thank you for the content :)
Sometimes the insecure people are dealing with depression. I try to keep tabs on myself (i have bipolar)...and i am guilty of doing SOME these things. (One upping, comparing myself with others, that kind of thing).
If i feel super depressed...i try to isolate myself bc i will be THIS insecure person and i don't want to be that way at all. My perspective is always off on either extreme end of the spectrum...im working on it though...i truly am.
I want to be a healthy person with a mental illness.
I will be uploading a video soon on how to parenting yourself that i think you really help you! I also want you to listen to my video on how to eliminate your anxiety and how to increase your self-confidence by changing your thoughts.. these videos will start on you the path towards self-love! It is a journey but you absolutely will get there! You have the desire to improve and work through this and you will!
Stephanie Lyn Coaching i wish i could share my whole story with you! I have made leaps and bounds i NEVER imagined! Im aware that i still have a lot to work on.
ConfettiCurls focus on how far you have come and be proud while still working towards where you want to be! 💗
YOU ARE AMAZING AND ABSOLUTELY STRONG. I SEE TREMENDOUS GROWTH AND YOU ARE A TRUE STAR. ITS A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE AND NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH US YOUR EXPERIENCE ❤️
Pb & J-- i would be your friend- as long as people i am friends with will agree that we can both talk openly when one of us is having an off day- when my symptoms of personality disorders show up- i would love to have the kind of friend to let me know & care about me anyway & vice versa!
Thank you so much!!! I have no one to talk to about this, it’s been with me all my life, starting with my own parents. It’s depleted my energy and filled me with indignant anger. I’ve been continuously fighting for my own survival, let alone emotional well-being. My conditioning has been so toxic, but now I’m doing the hard work to heal myself. Now I know not to take on their energy and to love myself even more instead.
This is so on point and is one of the reasons I avoid these individuals at all cost they are definitely insecure and jealousy only surround yourself around healthy people! 💯
This video was illuminating! My ex did the one up thing all the time. I remember once texting him about my promotion I just minutes before got, I was so happy and just wanted him to be proud. Instead he replied that’s great, same here... and went on about his job and successes, all of course way better then mine. Understanding that he was insecure really makes a lot of sense, despite the fact I didn’t initially watch this video with him in mind. Thank you for sharing this information. X
This video is GOLD! I really wish I could share it with half of my coworkers 😂
Thank you! I need it. I love myself more and more everyday. Bessings for you.
A few years ago, I got into an argument with a long term friend when she was tearing me down with judgemental behavior and I finally said that she seemed miserable in her own life. She came back with having a new potential relationship, a great apartment, and friends. I then answered with- you still seem unhappy and I feel sorry for you. I never heard from her again and she even childishly unfriended me on Facebook which I discovered after about a month later. It took that discovery for me to stop feeling sad about losing a friend I had had since middle school and I actually had a good laugh over it. And it got me thinking about each time she made fun of someone for liking the wrong music, wearing the wrong clothes, and/or even liking a lame movie the whole time I knew her. No one needs that as a friend, no one deserves to be put down for liking anything or choices they have made. Love and acceptance, that's my lesson from her.
Yes, my siblings. I’ve experienced a lifetime of this but since I’ve gone no contact I feel so good. Thank you for this. I’ll play it every time I am overthinking and being that person who tries to fight it but you end up getting sucked in and they become even more passively violent… it’s never ending. I’m learning to walk away 🙏🏽
You hit the nail on the head ! I can't believe this video is so true . I know a person exactly like this !!!!
Boy can I relate. One coworker has speaks badly about me to all the other coworkers. To my face she is really nice. She is what I call a mean girl. No one likes me it's easier for them to speak badly about me then to get to know me.
I took 6 days off and came back see one girl braided her hair like mine, 7 girls wore silver hoop earings like my white gold hoops, 1 wore silver hoops and diamonds in the second piercing like I wear everyday . I realized that day that they were jealous of me. This was the only day they copied my style.
I used to be a very very jealous and insecure teenager and I know for a fact that it is a common thing to be as a teenager. Once you realize that it’s just a downwards spiral for your self esteem it’s too late and it becomes a habit to start drama everywhere you go without even realizing.
I have one such person. They always have to one up you, even if you are ill - oh my gosh they're even more ill than you, whilst prancing about the picture of health... and poking in people's lives and then judging them. Oh so and so has so many clothes - so what, they're young and carefree and they enjoy clothes. Someone has a nice car and there's this dig of 'oh it's fine for SOME people - why shouldn't they have a nice car!? I've learned to tune it out, not take any of it personally, yep they most probably say crap things behind my back but guess what they do it to every one. I've learned not to react because others will pick up on it. It's unfortunately in a work situation and me getting upset achieves nothing. It pays to just take it from where it comes, it's not personal, that kind of person is likely to do it with everyone.
This person sounds like they have gone through trauma…my bro is the same and we come from a narcissistic family of origin (in other words a family that likes to look good on paper and each siblings were pitted against each other for adoration and applause from our unpleasable narcissist parents). When people haven’t dealt with their past, they can hardly look within because of the shame they carry with it. And so any opportunity they can shed that shame off to someone else, they will and they do it any opportunity they get including making up situations where they can dump shame on someone. Until they have dealt with their own past and see that the trauma/abuse was not their fault and that they no longer feel like something is wrong with them, then they stop being jealous of people’s happiness or self-expression. The kind of ‘trauma’ the person felt is all relative to that person’s experience so there’s no worse-off or better-off trauma, it just is as devastating as any other to the victim. My bro has not gotten over that he is gay and can have a fulfilling life. I learned my father was ashamed of him all his life and never was interested in what my bro did. So my bro took that on as an identity: a person who will never make his father happy because there is something innately wrong with him. It is absolutely false. My father didn’t have the capacity to love a child that was too different in his lifetime. Now, in his 60’s (I’m in my 40’s) anything I have accomplished well in his eyes is an attack on his very existence as a human and any failure that he perceives I go through (I call them the natural progression of a human being going through their rebellious teens, independence attempts in my 20’s, and questioning life at 30’s), he revels in the plight that life throws at me through the progression of my growth and self-development. I cut him off after my father passed away because even after a few years of no contact prior to the funeral, not only did he get worse, but a simple smile from me or an authentic interaction causes him rage. He will never change. After I accepted that, I let go of three friends who acted just like him. I didn’t see what I didn’t see until I was ready to see it. Peace with you Leazy, drop these people from your life.
This sounds like my relative. No one has ever had it better or worse than her. When I told her that I fell down a flight of stairs--she fell down three . When I told her that I just bought a house, she said that she'd bought two. When I told her that I had an illness, hers was the worst the doctor had ever seen. When I told her that I'd made a major accomplishment, it was nothing in comparison to her achievement. There's no end to this one-upping. She's completely self-absorbed. This is hurtful as she's a close relative who should be supporting me instead of competing with me. She makes me feel like nothing I do matters--like I don't matter.
If this is the same relative as your previous comment then yes she is severely insecure. When you recognize this is people it is easier to not take anything they do personally.
I'll try that. And this one is not the same relative. I have two to deal with. LOL! Thanks for commenting. I appreciate it.
Bobette I have an aunt like this...we used to be super close as she loved giving advice...in hindsight it fed her narc ego. My mother passed away when I was young so I was desperate for her attn & validation. Shes hurt me a lot & taken advantage of this vulnerability in me. Not anymore. Im standing up for the first time and the backlash is real. It does hurt but I try to remind myself its not personal (when it feels 100% personal) & my self respect is more impt than suffering through an unequal relationship where I cant be seen/heard. Hugs to you. Lets stay strong together 💓
🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂... YOUR AUNT IS A REAL PIECE OF WORK. I FELL DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS aunt: I FELL DOWN THREE..... hahahaha. Priceless!
I have a friend who is like this. I have had to minimize interaction.
Stephany is like a big sister, so positive, so kind! TY
The irony is that anyone that disliked this video is jealous themselves! Lol. Beautiful and insightful lady with a great message❤️❤️
I have a cousin exactly like this. I have been so badly hurt so many times by her. I know she is extremely jealous of me (although I really don't know why), and she is very spiteful in a very subtle way. I find it very challenging being around her and I have found your video so helpful and validating. It is the most exasperating thing to put up with the pseudo crap that these people come out with. Thank you for exposing them so well.
Thank you for your support! I am so glad the videos have helped.