I struggle with BPD and I promise it's not always like this. Mental illness is never an excuse to treat people like hell. That "I'm an empath" is so bs too, this guy genuinely seems nice and I hope he finds a nice healthy relationship that treats him well.
it is like this very often though. the consenus also is that BPD isn't really curable (yet manageable through therapy) due to the need for radical restructuring of the foundations of the respective individual's personality, which people with BPD are naturally (and understandably so) fearful of, as well as the extremely long time required for such changes, possibly surpassing their remaining lifetime.
She was right abt one thing. That guy has something special to him. He’s genuinely the king of communication and someone we should all look upto in that realm.
It’s not even that he was a god at communication, he just has basic communication skills that everyone SHOULD have and is also just a very nice guy in a world that’s over saturated with media covering awful people.
@@xlifexwithxlithiumx If you're aware you're like this, aware it's wrong and horrible, and still have the attitude of "that's just what it is" then you are a horrible person and should be avoided at all costs, absolutely NO ONE with a severe mental illness that affects other people so negatively should have that attitude towards it, and they certainly shouldn't be seeking relationships with other people when they know how vile of a person they are, it's purely selfishness and makes that person an objectively bad person at that stage regardless of the mental illness. It's not "hard for you to keep relationships" you are the reason the relationships go badly. You shouldn't be accepted as you are, you can and should work tirelessly to not be that person. BPD is treatable, there is no excuse to be harmful to others
@@xlifexwithxlithiumxIf your using a mental illness for bad behavior youve recognized then relationships at the time aren't something you should seek out
@@xlifexwithxlithiumxyou're aware of the problem. You've identified it. You cant keep using it as an excuse. Be upfront about your mental health, nobody deserves to step on a mine like that
Horrible take Flying Dinosaurs, as someone with BPD this is a actual struggle and you can't just expect someone to not express symptoms of a disorder they have.
Mental illness is actually terrifying. My uncle went out with a girl in his twenties. They went out on two dates and then he didn't call her for two or three days because he was very busy with work. Forth night, he woke up to her standing over his bed, sobbing, and holding a kitchen knife. Somehow he was able to talk her down and ended up driving her back to her mothers house who apologized to him and said she was mentally ill. He said that he really liked her and that she seemed completely normal on their two dates. 100% true story. Very scary stuff
The minute she got angry over a good morning text, would've been the last text I ever sent to her, because that's just a great indicator of future problems.
I was thinking the same thing. Even if this dude had sent her the good morning text to her liking, I can imagine something similar would’ve happened anyway down the line. Probably really soon after this situation too.
The real red flag was the day before, that was the indication of a delayed fuse. Somone who goes all-in like that for a couple hours of texting is not normal. Not normal is fine by itself, but here you're risking obsessive and volatile.
@kiwo579 it seems like you've misunderstood his/her comment. He's/she's not saying EI is the same spectrum as spiritual concepts. He's/she's saying that if you have an internal problem and need therapy to fix it might as well not get yourself into a relationship cuz wheter you admit it or not we often tend to reflect those problems and emotional conflicts we have with ourselves to others specially our partner.
I thought maybe it did too because I was just listening to the video in the background, I came over and rewound a few seconds to check the actual text lol
Any type of trauma or mental illness isn’t your fault, but it IS your responsibility. Especially if it starts causing hurt toward others who are completely innocent. Hope she got help.
she already is in therapy form her texts... so I guess she needs a lot more help but what else could help her if therapy isnt working to a degree where she isnt a threat to herself and her surroundings. its really sad, but man, that guy is in danger i feel like.
@@jokabox93 could be she needs to change therapists too. Sometimes that’s the situation when therapy isn’t working as intended. Hopefully there are people in her life that can make her aware that whatever she’s doing isn’t working and a change needs to happen to improve her quality of life and those she interacts with
Yep. This is a mental illness so it’s more difficult to cope with than a lot of problems, but this woman is clearly a person who needs to work on herself more before trying to commit to a relationship.
Just because she's in therapy doesn't mean she's actually listening to the therapist. She has this victim mentality which is nothing a therapist can do. Therapists can only give you tools and ideas to help you. They cannot force your hand or implant a willpower chip. You have to help yourself FIRST. Take it from someone who took therapy for depression.@@jokabox93
I changed it to these texts instead of this crazy lady because I hadn’t yet got the the point when we find out she has bpd. Having a personality disorder doesn’t make you crazy and I thought she was just one of the nice girls. Now that I watched the whole video I felt bad and decided to change my comment to prevent potentially upsetting someone with bpd. Sorry about that ❤
I feel so bad for him, he seems like such a great guy and he had to have an experience like that. I hope he finds someone who deserves and appreciates him
Fecking everyone is an empath and can pick up on feelings and how people are feeling without them saying a word. It's not some special thing. Everyone can do it. Women who claim this just want excuses for bad behavior.
@@billbombshiggy9254 nah there's plenty of people who legitimately can't pick up on others' emotions, even if we exclude neurodivergent peeps like certain types of autistics. besides, there's like three(?) types of empathy, so even if the vast majority of humans are empaths - different people process the same interaction uniquely, which leads to the same trait manifesting differently in different people
LOL exactly I can't stand that word too it's just this word people use now to try and sound sophisticated it's like folks we will know if you are capable of empathy if you are a decent person lol we don't need to see on your tinder profile or whatever other crap site there is these days EMPATH
Which is why I don’t say “empath”. I tell people that I’m very observant of people’s feelings and emotional needs because I’ve spent my life trying to regulate my mother’s emotions to avoid mental and physical harm. Yes I was raised by a narcissist (my mother).
THe minute she got angry over a Good Morning text, would've been the last text I ever sent to her, because that's just a great indicator of future problems.
Honestly the whole “you’re perfect for me” rant at the beginning was the red flag that should have caused him to cut her off right then and there. Anyone who thinks that someone they’ve barely talked to is their soulmate or whatever is obviously not right in the head.
@@hobojoe9717 I have dealt with ladies like this when I had a tinder profile they come on wayyyy over the top it seems kind of cool at first then they just completely flip if you aren't playing 4d chess texting exactly when they want I just become Casper the now not friendly ghost and disappear they can send all the messages they want shit is crazy!
I have a friend that suffers from BPD. She's in recovery with me. She's significantly younger than me and i consider her like a baby sis now. She's one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life, AND has a sweet soul. Yesterday her bf said something to her that made her absolutely fly off the handle. Like lose it to the point that i was scared. Anyway i got her bf to go his own way and i accompanied her to her bus stop and waited with her to make sure she got on safely. After she calmed down, she looked at me and tears started streaming down her face. I felt f**king terrible. I said what's wrong BB? She looked me dead in the eyes and said " i just feel so alone. I don't wanna end up alone". It took everything in me not to f**king break down. I felt that pain so deeply. People with BPD have SEVERE abandonment issues and it breaks my heart. This scenario kind of reminds me of this tbh. I hope this girlie finds some peace. And super kudos to the guy for taking it like a champ
“She's significantly younger than me and i consider her like a baby sis now” “She's one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life” “I said what's wrong BB?” Hol up…
As a psych major and daughter of someone who has BPD, I could immediately tell that she struggles with it as well. They tend to lash out on people that they care for most and have intense emotions around what they feel is rejection. It sucks for everyone involved
As someone who is recovering from BPD, my heart ached when reading this girl's text messages. I thought to leave this comment here, to try and educate people a little about BPD. What you see in this message exchange, is something called 'Idealization and Devaluation', also known as 'splitting', which is one of the worst symptoms of BPD. That means that one simple gesture can make us idealize people, and one simple gesture can make us completely devalue them. It has nothing to do with the other person- it's all in our head. We have no grey emotions. It's either extreme love, or extreme hate. This girl describes it as 'empath', but it's actually agony. We tend to create scenarios and stories in our heads, based on minor things a person might do. And when the other person doesn't meet the expectation we made in our story, this swiftly changes to devaluation and rage. A lot of the time, when we go through splitting or 'the borderline rage', we experience dissociation, which means we are completely out of control or awareness. Then we calm down and remember how ridiculous we've been, feel extreme shame and it often leads to self h@rm. This disorder cannot be treated with medicines. It needs extensive therapy, with someone who is trained in DBT and has lots of patience. It's completely treatable, and with the right help, a person can end up no longer meeting the criteria for a diagnosis. I have been in therapy for 4 years, and can safely say I have healed. The best way to deal with someone like that, is to remind them that their emotions are disproportionate to the situation. The first step is self awareness, and to be able to step out of your emotions and see them like a third person.
Glad you healed well! Its crazy how little some people understand about things like this, and just start getting really annoyed without taking their situation into account. We need to get this comment to the top.
“remind them that their emotions are disproportionate to the situation“ Every time I’ve tried to do this they just blow up even more and tell me that I’m not respecting their feelings. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but this has never worked for me when I do this politely
i always find it funny when people say that during a breakup. Like, good? I wouldn't want to be with someone who is like you, because it clearly isn't working out
@@hamburgplz122 I used to live as a roommate to a couple where one half was... and yeah it was difficult. Especially since the one who had it was, as far as I know, untreated. frequent threats to end herself, lots of arguments, and after they broke up, the one with BPD moved out, and the other was just so burnt out by it they started using weed and checked out of life.
The sheer amount of people who would go head over heels (in a healthy distanced sense) for the texts he's sent, I just. Man, he was so honest and treaded this situation so reasonably, I cannot believe it was somehow misconstrued even a little bit. I hope that guy knows he's an absolute gem, and I wish him the best
I sensed a lot of fear coming from his texts because he doesn't have many options. He was still holding out hope that he could salvage the situation while most normal guys would have either ignored her or told her to stop texting them. He's a weak weasel, as they say.
as someone who has BPD, i knew she had it in the first minutes in the video. she obviously has it pretty severely too. i had it really bad a few years back except unlike her i direct any anger or negative feelings toward myself instead of others, i did get help and have changed myself for the better but BPD isn’t something that can completely go away and it makes my life tough, i really struggle even to complete basic tasks sometimes. it’s really sad to see how badly it effects others, it makes her and other people like this sound outright evil, she obviously needs alot of help and should avoid relationships, from how she is talking it doesn’t actually sound like she’s getting any help at all tbh. so hopefully she went on to get some actual help :/ it also makes me sad that there’s a stigma around bpd that we are all horrible people, most of us truly just love very hard and look for any reciprocation. anyway thanks to anyone that reads this just please remember this behaviour doesn’t represent everyone with bpd and anyone that does act like this needs some serious help.
crazy that she dropped the “i’m an empath” line when she clearly is incapable of putting herself in his shoes and understanding that her behavior towards him was cruel and weird
The thing with BPD is that you're so emotionally "weak" that you end up to only be able to see your version of the story. It's shitty but that's what BPD does
@pecc9678 There's other thing around BPD but that's a huge part of it. Ik I'm in this shitty disorder but like every disorder each person has a deferent (reaction?) to it. Still BDP is mostly related to unstable emotion related to emotion and bad Self-perception which end up that the BPD person is only able to see/fell his/her emotion at the time.
Thank you for being so understanding of people with bpd! We get demonised a lot and we dont all act like this. I was so happy to hear you being understanding and supportive
I also have BPD, and I was quickly able to tell she probably had it. We fall in love easily, connect and become attached too easily, expect things to happen, etc. It’s a pretty rough disorder to have. I still cry over small situations like that as my brain tries to tell me xyz person doesn’t love me because they didn’t text ‘good morning’ or something. I will cry. But do I say anything about it? No. Because it’s not normal. It ruins friendships, and it’s toxic. So I suck it up and cry it out. It was hard to learn how to do that, as in the past the only way to make the pain stop was to say how I felt. Now I’m getting better at telling myself that things aren’t true, and if I need to cry it out I do. I hate being so sensitive. I hate it.
As someone with BPD myself I appreciate so so much how charly approaches it. simply acknowledging the struggle, saying he has sympathy for it and that he wishes the best for the people is enoguh for me because a lot people just love seeing BPD persons as nothing but monsters literally. a lot stigma is out there too about it sadly made me very happy the way he talks about this
I technically have(had) BPD too according to what mental health professionals would say, but after 3 years of absolute hell and seeing myself as a victim of outer circumstances and making it worse for myself, I lost everything and I had to build from the ground up again - only this time with the perspective of personal responsibility after doing basically years of research into psychology and philosophy. It's definitely curable as I have experience with it first-hand, you just need to stop seeing yourself as someone with no control over your life.
@@KiarashTaherkhani you actually summed it up well. It's hard to sum up a disorder like bpd and that's not all to it. But it's basically what I did. It was the main problem what you describe here. I thought of myself always as the helpless victim. because I was for a very long time as a young child. It was hell but I was too young to change anything. But growing older I kept thinking I am a helpless victim. That I can't help myself out of it because I got used to it. I didn't know different. Had zero confidence. I was living in hell but I stayed there instead of fixing it. My past led me there I think. I've ruined relationships because I made my partner the hero to save me. Expecting way too much bc if that. It ruined 2 relationships. I tried therapists but most of them were very misinformed about bpd themselves sadly. But I researched a lot and worked on my mindset and how I handle things. And now I am so so much better it's a difference like day and night. I fully agree that it's curable. About 15-20 ish years ago psychologists even said bpd is uncurable. I am glad that this view has changed. I am so glad I don't have to live with this anymore. It changed so much in my life. Even tho in my case it was crucial for my healing to leave home cause I kept getting traumatized and treated awfully,. That really wasn't a good environment to fix my bpd. But now I live in my own apartment happily and even am able to have relationships again 🌻
bro i aspire to have the patience, understanding, care and at the same time not be weak willed and still set up my boundaries like this guy so genuinely impressive and admirable
Exactly, that's not off to a good start. You know NOTHING about the other person. That's how you end up with a guaranteed mess of a relationship, you don't know anything about the other person's life and are fitting them into your life based on looks alone.
As someone who has BPD and diagnosed narcissism disorder I can say it is a constant war to not become someone daily who can hurt those around me just by having my mind trick me into being someone I work extremely hard to control. Listening to this conversation shows me how many people cannot just control that erratic behavior side of themselves. I’m glad I have the mental fortitude to conduct myself better and be aware if I am overreacting in a situation.
Dude mad respect. Having self awareness is a blessing when dealing with mental health. Acknowledging that your mind is playing tricks and fighting to be that better person is honestly super admirable.
Coming from a teen who’s struggling with OCD, it’s really admirable that you work hard to keep your mental illness at bay and it actually inspires me to not give up when my mind gets too negative 🤍
I have BPD and im not gonna lie, a lot of my old conversations used to go like this ALOT. Lost a ton of friendships and relationships because of it. Ive been able to go to therapy and establish healthy friendships now. BPD Shouldn't be an excuse for her, especially that she's proven to have access to therapy. All in all I feel for the guy and the girl, hoping she can get better and hoping this doesnt effect the guy too much.
Well BPD isn't something that switches like a light switch, it takes weeks for the mind to change with BPD. That girl is just a narcissist who views herself above others, she literally wants this stranger to stop his life and make her his main priority... if that ain't narcissistic idk what is lol
@@radchum no not wrong, I’ve studied psychology for the past 4 years of my life. Not tryna be a know it but I literally go to school to study this type of stuff
I have pretty severe BPD, & she is still letting herself go off the deep-end. Charles is absolutely right-this guy is a gem & he communicated exceptionally well; it's not his fault she has BPD & is struggling, & even her diagnosis doesn't excuse her behavior or treatment of him. She needs continued help & absolutely shouldn't be in a relationship right now, and, speaking from experience & not making a dig of any kind, she would benefit from balanced medications.
Hey, feel free to totally not answer if this question if this is too personal but what meds have made a difference regulating your emotions? I am trying mood regulators for the first time in my life and haven't found medications that have worked yet.
she needs dbt, not medication. medication could potentially help on the side if she suffers from severe depression or anxiety from her bpd but it’s not going to really do much to help how her brain thinks and reacts to things.
@@emilywolf1235 im not OP but i have been on Lamictal for 2 years and it has completely changed my life in terms of my BPD. its almost like im a completely different person.
why limit it to one gender? anyone who says that unironically is someone you need to step away from, not just women lol I'd be more scared of a man saying that to me than any woman could ever make me
Oh lord I've been in this situation before but on a longer-term scale. Being a PwBPD's "favorite person" can happen pretty fast and have detrimental effects on both the favorite person and the person with the disorder. It's really heartbreaking to think you've found "the one meant for you" who treats you unlike anyone ever has, only for that behavior to switch to cold, distant contempt seemingly out of nowhere or for reasons unbeknownst to you. BPD makes them feel emotions WAY more intensely and irrationally than how a regular person would process them, so her saying she's "an empath" makes complete sense because that's how she *perceives* it.
What's even scarier is her inflated sense of self. I have a feeling she truly believes there is something unique and special about her, but even unbeknownst to her, it's really a rationalization for a deep insecurity buried outside of her view.
@@squarewheel9113 Yeah, hopefully that's something she can work out with a therapist. A lot of the time people with BPD will try to rationalize their behavior or make sense of it when really it's just a type of emotional overload that's out of their control.
I had co-morbid C-PTSD and BPD for eight years, and I'm not justifying any abusive behavior - I just want people to PLEASE be aware that BPD is considered by mental health professionals to produce *the most intense emotional pain and distress in those who have this condition* - and it is NO joke. Put your safety first, obviously, but also please please understand that their reality is just constant emotional pain. It was SO much worse than just my C-PTSD alone and my physical chronic pain condition.
Dating someone with bpd is nothing easy to deal with, but its nothing compared to suffering from bpd. Mental illnesses are no fun, but bpd especially is a different one. Imagine what she must have been feeling in order to say all this coo coo stuff. Extreme respect and props to the guy for being such a good person.
I dated a girl with BPD years ago. NGL I felt bad for her but she was so toxic and painful to be around. She flipped from super sweet to extremely toxic in a second. When I tried to break up with her she threatened to kill herself unless we stayed together. As much as I feel for people suffering from this condition, I couldn’t do that again. As soon as she mentioned BPD a romantic relationship would be off the table for me.
how did you break up tho? i mean, what did you do when she threatened to kill herself? im curious cause i feel i may have a very similar situation soon
@sirlike5915 unfortunately, you have to not care. More than likely they are saying that to manipulate you into staying and they don't actually mean it. Don't fall for it. The ONLY thing you can do when you decide to leave, is stay firm in that decision and dont let her manipulative tactics work. If she pulls the I will kill myself, turn it on her. Say you have a moral obligation to call cops and get her help. Then step away and call them. If she is saying those things, then she needs help anyways.
@@sirlike5915My ex would threaten suicide anytime I tried to leave. It's a manipulation tactic. You can offer them, like, helpful sites or offer to help them find a therapist but you still NEED to leave them. If someone tries to force you to stay with them by threatening ANYTHING then it'd manipulation.
as a person who struggles with bpd, its not okay for her to use it as an excuse for her behavior. that makes all of us who are trying to heal and be better look bad and its why alot of people demonize people who have bpd.
i feel like it can very well be an excuse for some behaviors but NOT justification, i think theres a big difference between those two statements. like for example "oh, i was mad at you so i kicked you" the excuse there would be being mad but it doesnt justify the action in the slightest
@@boootyassi think “explanation” is a better word for it. excuse literally means to justify. so i would say her bpd doesn’t excuse her actions, but can explain them
Exactly. Also got bpd. It’s super important to take responsibility and communicate when you’re struggling. I’ve really only been in 1 longterm relationship, and she never really understood what I was going through really, but she’s definitely not too blame. We had a lot of dark things going on in her personal life and while I’ve also been through it, I have bpd and a poor control over my emotions. When things got intense or dark or if she was taking out her grief on me I would feel attacked and use and say horrible things against her. We were on and off for years but broke it off probably for good last year. She has done and said pretty shitty things to me as well, definetly broke my heart. But it’s not the bpd, it’s who I was. And that’s really hard to accept. It’s important to understand what bpd actually does to you and to fully understand what kind of person you were. I felt that I was weak and powerless before and needed to take what cheap shot I could so that maybe that person could feel as hurt as I do. I super hard and I don’t have a definite answer, but for ones own growth it’s important to take responsibility for your actions, not using mental illness as a crutch, and establish a healthy outlook on your own self value.
11:09 I know it’s supposed to read as “you lost the best girl, you’ll never meet someone like me again” but it reads as “you lost the best girl you’ll never meet” and that pretty well sums this interaction up 😭
i have BPD and i used to sound a LOT like this its actually embarrassing to me to see this and have to remember how i was before. I'm glad that she's in therapy for this right now, i hope that she has some self awareness eventually and shows this to her therapist so that they can work through it together. I feel so bad for the people who had to deal with me when i was like this. i did go back and apologize to them after i had help.
@@Spiralreddas someone with bpd and hpd who has figured shit out you're going about it the wrong way seek help and outsource. ive done the same thing and had the same thought trust me!
Her going from confessing her love, to losing it over him not sending a “good morning” text fast enough, all in under 24 hours, is so, so sad and troublesome. May this girl get the help she needs 🙏
Look up the disorder that Charlie mentions, borderline personality disorder - it'll probably give you a better idea of what happened. And yes, I agree she was out of line, and let's hope she reflects on it with her therapist before moving on.
Charlie touching on BPD is actually so heartwarming. The stigma around it is crushing for people who have it and for him to show sympathy is really refreshing to see, thank you
BPD does not need to be de-stigmatized the way you think it does. It's in the same category of mental disorder as Anti-Social Personality disorder, but I don't see you advocating mental health awareness for serial killers. BPD people destroy and Sabotage every life and relationship around them by nature and they need Medical Intervention or Psychiatric if necessary.
no seriously, i have it and immediately started sweating when it got brought up. i've had creators i watched for AGES all the sudden talk about how everyone with BPD is a monster who can't control themself....it's heartbreaking every time 😅 what a breath of fresh air Charlie's take was!
@@originofsky SAME :((((( it sucks so much as someone who focuses so hard on treatment & improving my symptoms and it hurts so much to feel like even though im trying so hard and i (personally think i) have improved so much and am able to keep myself safe and have a healthy longterm relationship etc that no matter what people will always view me as some kind of monster :( charlies take was really nice to hear
I have bpd and it is SO easy to fall into this distructive and hurtful spiraling behavior. Mental illness is tricky, but it's unfair to push it onto other people. It takes SO much work to be able to stabilize yourself when you're spiraling like this without taking it out on others.
@@girth_goblin Yes! It's like a two-sided coin where I can either spiral over someone's slight shift in mood or build stronger relationships with them by noticing the little things
As someone with a psychology degree and experience with people with BPD, BPD does NOT make a person commit actions that harm others. There are still symptoms like abandonment issues, mood swings, impulsive attachment, and things of the like, but it does not inherently cause you to hurt others. That is still their choice to do. While I deeply sympathize with people who struggle with this mental illness, they cannot blame their mental issues when they go out of their way to hurt people for little to no reason EDIT: I want to clarify what I mean really quick so people aren’t confused. I do not believe people with BPD have full control over their emotions. Nor do I believe it’s impossible for them to have a seemingly uncontrollable impulsive reaction that can cause harm in the moment to the self or someone else. I saying going out of your way to cause someone harm then blaming it on BPD is not okay and it’s their choices at that point. For context, the girl being upset over not getting a good morning text and being moody about it? Yeah that’s textbook BPD behavior and while not okay, understandable given the circumstance. Her harassing him for god-knows-how-long after he dipped out? Her choice and not strictly because of BPD. That’s what I meant to say but could’ve worded it more clearly. Thank you to those who wanted clarification (and providing clarification with their own experiences) and not immediately thinking I’m just hating on people with BPD
Everyone has been using mental health issues to get out of shits. Like serial killers wont take accountability for their crimes because they "was bullied and depressed"
My BPD for the last 23 years has done nothing but make me hurt myself physically and emotionally. I couldn't ever see myself being this mad at someone for 0 reason. When there's reason oh all bets are off. I also have psychosis that's getting progressively worse now Ive passed my late twenties and entering my early 30s. I want to be gone more than anything but I won't harm another human being.
can confirm as a person with borderline. we’re far more likely to be hurt than to do the hurting - and people will use our disorder against us to say WE’RE the abusers. shit sucks
This is so wrong it's unbelievable. My cousin has had to be baker acted because of his clinically diagnosed BPD when he held his whole family up at gunpoint.
i was just recently diagnosed with bpd and honestly, i have the same kinds of thoughts running thru my head when i like a guy. thankfully i have built up the self control to not say those thoughts most of the time, but i can fully feel her struggle. liking someone when u have bpd is torture. getting attached way too quickly, but having to pretend like you aren't already immediately in love with them, and then just being constantly paranoid that they'll leave you and reading into everything little thing they do, until it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and they actually do leave and then you absolutely break down because you were so attached and you know you were the one who pushed them away in the first place. i don't think it should be used as an excuse for saying the things she said at all, but rather just as an explanation.
@@arsena5209 there has to be mood swings to have BPD. having intense fear of abandonment, and becoming attached very quickly is a common symptom of BPD, borderline personality disorder, or dependent personality disorder.
I love how Charles addresses mental health and communication in this video so much. But please, coming from someone who has struggled with mental illness, value your own safety and wellbeing in these situations. It’s so beautiful to be understanding of others but never do so in a way that sacrifices your wellness. I found it so concerning that at the time this was released, this person was still trying to get in contact with him. You are absolutely allowed to be assertive with your own health and safety
As a man with BPD, this is textbook BPD, but I have never had this type of outburst. No doubt the clingyness is a severe struggle. Falling in "love" with someone right away is also a thing that happens. Case in point, if a woman says something nice to me or compliments me, it is very difficult for me to not be clingy, but I constantly remind myself that she's simply being nice. I hope this woman is able to work on herself more. She cannot treat people like this. All she will do is push others away. Props to the guy for handling this whole situation with grace.
Hey, so I'm a 25 year old man who's been curious if I have BPD. My psychiatrist was fairly confident that I have it at one point but without going into details with me he said that he no longer believes it to be the case, even though I exhibit a lot of classic BPD symptoms. Afterwards we landed on an autism and ADHD diagnosis along with CPTSD but that last one I'm not 100% on. Could I please ask how you noticed it and got it diagnosed? I still relate to a lot of stories BPD sufferers talk about and I could use some insight, if you don't mind.
@fan bpd is often considered a female only disorder, you can advocate for yourself more or find a new doctor. one important thing to bring up is how ur symptoms are triggered or worsened due to romantic or interpersonal relationships bring up examples of situations you can think of some common signs of BPD being triggered in a relationship is, getting really angry or upset at ur partner for not texting you first (like in the video here), being irrationally jealous and feeling like ur partner is going to leave you at any moment, putting loved ones on pedestals or idolizing them one moment to demonizing them the next. examples of when you may have flipped out or been upset at a partner or friend for not being available to you for something thats unreasonable some key moments for me, getting really angry and wanting to stop being friends with someone because they said no to hanging out, getting jealous and angry and wanting to hurt myself when my friend was hanging out with other friends, being sent into suicidal fits when my boyfriend fell asleep on me, etc the big difference between the disorders u listed and bpd is bpd is mainly (and only) triggered in relationships, this can be friendships and familial relationships too! goodluck :)
@MisseryMoth There is no such thing as a „female only“ disorder. Mental illness exists everywhere, to both genders. The fact you think men are incapable of having mental illness is concerning and telling 🤨 Mental illness does not discriminate based on race, sex, colour, gender, ethnicity or national origin and neither should you…
Nah she will ruin a person I don’t think she should be in a relationship or on that dating app at all. Frankly she should be in therapy and in a medic somewhere
people with BPD can't have meaningful relationships. they see everyone as a pawn to use to gain something. there isnt any real helpful treatment for it yet
@@ibra8096 don't project such negativity onto this person's positive uplifting comment. Really speaks volumes as to your attitude and intentions at that moment. Do better -A caring man
@@user-rg9gm4dk3dAnd who says I was being negative? I was just saying it as it is. She should stay away from dating apps for her own benefit and the benefit of others who she’ll just use as episodic punching bags (no, I’m not saying it’s her fault she has BPD, but that’s the case nevertheless, so let’s not act like it doesn’t exist). If you took my comment as negative, that’s on you, but I suppose I could have sugarcoated it a lot more.
8:40 "she then also explains she goes to therapy for her borderline personality disorder" I WAS LITERALLY THINKING SHE MUST HAVE BPD, WITH THE WAY SHE WENT FROM MADLY IN LOVE FOR NO REASON TO HATEFUL AND DEPRESSIVE OUT OF NOWHERE
I dated a girl with BPD. It was EXACTLY like this. Whenever they feel like someone is about to abandon them, they get really scared and [unfortunately] end up doing everything in their power to make absolutely _sure_ that the person leaves. It's an awful disorder. She's doing great now though! On some good meds, has a baby and a wonderful boyfriend and everything! So it's totally possible, there is hope :)
@jackdrippr2891 some people just don't believe in marriage but they stay together forever. I have friends that have been together for 30 years with kids and never wanted to get married. Everyone is different.
I was with a girl with BPD. The flips from her being super sweet to a demon, in an instant, were incomprehensible to me. Edit: I met this girl in a psych ward as I also had this and many other disorders… I never understood how one could conduct themself as she did. 2 years later she still harasses and threatens me.
as someone with bpd - it's pretty incomprehensible to us too, lol. in saying that, even to me this is insane. this is just someone with bpd with zero regulation in how they deal with their own disorder. these texts say a lot about the fact that while this person has been diagnosed, they have either not gotten the treatment they need, or are very early in their journey to working through it, or (unlikely but possibly) are actively avoiding treatment for it as it gives them an easy 'out' for any bad behaviour.
it's really refreshing to see someone online be this sympathetic towards people with BPD whenever i see it mentioned it's quickly followed by others saying that people with BPD are horrible manipulative monsters, so it was really good to see Charlie talk about it with kindness towards the disorder, while still making it VERY CLEAR that this woman is in no way ready for any kind of romantic relationship
Yeah, it really sucks that people have so much hate towards others with mental illness. I have had to deal with that all my life. I agree that it was good to see a RUclipsr address the disorder with a high level of class and taking both sides. Not many people do that. If you ever notice in TV shows or movies, characters that have BPD are almost always the villain. We've definitely got the short-end of the stick.
....Or perhaps you just choose to see the negative responses and ignore the positive ones? Because I've never seen a mental health situation where the majority of people weren't sympathetic.
@kevingriffith677 Yeah, I am somehow telepathically capable of only ever clicking videos or posts that contain shitty comments! Professor Xavier will for sure give me a call soon to invite me to his school for super cool people. There's a whole subreddit dedicated to people who are very vitriolic towards anyone with BPD. Any time someone with BPD is portrayed in media, they're always hurting someone else in some way. So many people online make shitty comments about others BPD, calling anyone with th disorder a bad toxic person. I literally said "whenever I see it mentioned". I'm literally talking about my personal experience. It was only last week that I saw people defending people with BPD on Twitter after a user made a horrible thread about it. I'm not focusing only on the bad comments. It is very rare for me to see many sympathy for people with BPD. I'm talking about my personal experience.
I know I’m getting to this late but I’ve had a similar situation to this happen recently and it’s terrifying. A girl I was talking to was intensely affectionate and sweet, but one day she completely switched up and ghosted me not long after. We had already gone on a couple of dates and I’m still scratching my head about it all
as someone who has it; BPD does not inherently make you act like a terrible person. BPD can give you abandonment issues, insecurity, impulsiveness, attaching to others quick, oversharing problems- all of which it seems like this girl struggles with, but it does not MAKE you act like this. i have sympathy with her for struggling with such a horrible mental illness but not for how others react when she acts this way. she’s responsible for her own actions, not this man or anybody else. he didn’t have to be this patient with her and i wouldn’t blame him if he wasn’t but what a kind soul for doing so anyways.
seriously what more do you need than matching with someone 3 times in one night in a random queue? i’m a straight dude and so much serendipity in the room would’ve have me questioning! 😂
as someone with BPD, she is not a fucking "empath," she has a disorder that amplifies her emotions to a painful and dysfunctional extent. I really hate it when people try and romanticize the disorder and frame it as something good when in reality it's nothing but a curse that needs to be worked around. she was clearly in so much pain by the end but i really hope she develops a better sense of self awareness or she will be alone for the rest of her life.
I agree with you to an extent. I think that people unhealthily romanticizing mental health disorders is a very unhealthy and dangerous thing. But I think it's a little too harsh to say that BPD is "nothing but a curse." I was diagnosed when I was around 17, and was in a toxic relationship. One of the ways that I learned to cope over the years is to accept the bad and the good of the hand I was dealt. Having more emotions than most, in my opinion, is one of my best and worst qualities for different reasons. I think there is always a bright side to look at and I hope you're doing well, from someone who understands the struggle. We all deserve patience and kindness ❤
I agree with one of the other commenters on this, your take is definitely a bad one. Obviously romanticizing mental health is bad but your way of saying “cursed” is like not only a horrible thing to say to other people, but yourself. Victimizing oneself will never make anything better
I'll agree that empath isn't correct. But I can certainly get where she would come to that conclusion. Considering both BPD feel emotions stronger than neurotypical people, along with studies showing that people with BPD are hyper aware of expression changes, for instance a neurotypical person can detect an expression at 70% while the same expression can be detected by a person with BPD at 30%. I think with those together it's pretty easy to come to that conclusion even if it's incorrect. You can learn more from HealthyGamerGG's BPD 101 video.
I dated a Bipolar it was insane the texts are 100% accurate to Bipolar and made so much sense when she said that, thanks Charlie really helped me actually great video.
8:16 the fact that he announced it 😭. If an asteroid was approaching earth Charlie would only have to glance at it for a moment before it gets shattered.
She definitely should’ve explained that she has BPD earlier. My best friend has BPD, and these sort of mood swings are entirely too real. It’s sad that the woman in these messages is leading people on like this, with all the love bombing and shit then switching up the next day. i imagine that’s exactly what the therapy is for tho.
If she's in therapy, she's not applying any of the recommendations therapists usually give to people with BPD. There are plenty of people out there with BPD who, thanks to therapy, stop to think and process their emotions instead of blowing up like that
I have bpd, we can be selfaware and work on ourselves especially with therapy, shes generally just not trying it looks like, i have my moments where i split and go nuts but i generally try to keep it to myself and not bring it onto other people. That doesnt always work, but we are capable of managing, though note some might be worse then others.
To be fair, they only knew each other for less than 24 hours and we don't know how she talks with other people, so I wouldn't call it "leading someone on" when she let him know the next day. I do agree that someone with BPD, or someone with anything that might be a dealbreaker for potential partners, should be upfront and honest about it. Hiding it will not only cause problems for the relationship, but also for anyone else facing the bad stigmas and stereotypes.
IF she even has it. Sounds more like an excuse she's making for her behavior to me. (and if she does have it, and is being honst, she's still weaponizing it)
Her having BPD and continuing to pursue situations in which her disorder manifests knowing it will hurt ppl is on her She knows she needs to fix it so she has enough autonomy to identify issues; she’s not doing enough though because she refuses to wait until she’s mentally well to pursue relationships. I have an anxious attachment style and it manifests in some rlly gross clingy behaviour that hurts both parties; that attachment style is likely underpinned by deep-seated insecurities due to my disability. It’s not my fault rlly. What is my fault is any pain that comes from me choosing to go into relationships when I KNOW ppl are gonna get hurt
As someone recovering with BPD, I felt this way too hard and I feel so sorry for both people involved. IMO (from personal experience) Someone struggling with this disorder to the extreme of splitting over literally nothing should never be in a romantic relationship, especially not like this. It’s so damaging for both individuals involved and the people around them. I really hope that she realizes that she needs to take time to heal herself and not depend on others for her happiness, and that the OP doesn’t take this experience too negatively on himself. It’s a torturous disorder to live with, but it’s manageable. It’s a good thing that he stood up to that.
Yes I soooo agree. I had to take a few breaks from dating because I realized I wasn't in the right place to be in a relationship. BPD is terrible and lonely, and I remember being so desperate to find people who love me. But I definitely needed to have my primary focus be on helping myself. I'm glad to see some other people with BPD in these comments who are also recovering!
@@scylights9449 I completely understand how you feel. My last relationship ended in about march of 2023 and I’ve stayed out of them since. I hurt that person so badly because before them I was in the worst relationship of my life that literally gave me dissociative amnesia amongst other things and while recovering from it I was one of the most unstable and toxic people imaginable. And constantly craving that validation from others and exploding when I couldn’t get it didn’t help. It’s best to find happiness in yourself and partly your friends and life in general rather than parasite-style sucking it from others. It’s not intentional, we’re stuck in a constant on-edge defense mode but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. It’s our responsibility to realize when we are unwell and to try and get better and take steps forward to make that happen. I think you’re doing very well and I’m proud of you for still being here and realizing your state.
@@Ilive_420 Usually borderline individuals don’t act on those urges externally because it all comes from a place of hurt. I don’t think this person would track him down especially over something so small, but I do think that he should still be careful. I don’t know the extent of her (the girl in the texts) splitting so she may be the type to act on her hateful impulses but usually the threats and insults are just words coming from a place of hurt. Either way, he should still be cautious but I do think he will be okay.
Dated a girl with BPD for a year and it was the hardest year of my life. It went similar to this in the beginning then ended up spiraling hard after a couple months. The only reason I stayed with her is because she constantly threatened to k*ll herself, k*ll me or k*ll my family/friends if I left her. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life. BPD is not an excuse to threaten such things. I finally mustered up the courage to leave after a year of agony. Long story short, be careful who you open up to and yes I know mental illness is hard but just a warning to people that try to connect with someone with BPD. It can be extreme and ridiculously draining on you. I do wish her the best even after all that happened though. I’m not the type to hate anybody but damn was that a tough time.
Ask someone with my own mental health struggles, I can say that it's not a fun time, but when you lose control of it, that is something that needs to be held accountable for, because when it comes to situations like that, as you described, things tend to spiral out of control and become violent and dangerous for both individuals involved or one of the parties in particular, and it's extremely terrifying. BPD is one of those mental illnesses that I feel like someone could wind up murdering their spouse just because they didn't wake up next to them one day because they had work to do online or some shit. I know not every single person with that condition is like that, but with me suffering from anxiety, to the point to where it needs medication otherwise I start kind of freaking out when I'm alone for too long, that shit is one of the things I will freely admit I am 110% paranoid about is just being around someone with BPD for that exact reason. Again, for anyone that might be trying to spark a comment war, I'm not saying all people with BPD acts like how you saw, some struggle with it quite a bit, others kind of deal with it almost like it's a walk in the park, but I can tell you this much, I understand that we all have a stereotype applied to you, and understand that just like anybody who isn't aware of a mental health condition and only has stereotypes to go off of, you're going to have to wind up explaining things to the person you're trying to date or have a romantic interest in so that you don't drive them off. That's not being an ass, that's not being able to or whatever the hell kind of terms someone can throw my way, I'm just simply stating a truth here
@@TheRaven-WingGamingi dont blame you for feeling the way you do, i was recently diagnosed with bpd but i dated a girl with it for 3 years and im pretty sure that was hardship that triggered the disorder in me. i loved her but she would never fully take advantage of all the many opportunities she was given to get help and improve. because of that, no matter how much of myself i dedicated to helping her, it only got worse. it was a genuinely terrifying thing to watch and has changed me beyond complete repair
Same here. Everything you said is true. In my case it was 4 years. Definitely the worst period of my life. She got diagnosed after we broke up. Its sad not many people are informed and quickly categorize themselves, other people or their relationships as "toxic" and move on.
Thank you for being kind about BPD, Charlie. A lot of people aren't. And certainly not in such a public way. My own BPD journey was never this intense, but even so, the pain of this disorder is excruciating. It doesn't excuse the behavior associated with it, of course. But it can inform one's understanding of it. The guy in these messages is a gem. ❤
As a curiosity, when you had BPD episodes, the catalyst for it would eb completely random? Or it would depend more on how you were as a person. F.e: In this case, the girl is clearly very egotitical and toxic, which lead to a very abrupt episode of "I'm the center of the world and everything that didn't go as I wanted deserves the worst" attitude. I say this cause I have a family member that has a low grade of BPD, and when he has episodes he just becomes a more exaegrated version of himself (specially in his negative traits). But him being normally quite a nice guy, the episodes are often just midly problematic. He just gets angrier and has less patience.
Yeah it's a double standard because the weirdo in this case is a woman, so ofc there's a ton of sympathy and understanding. But men with BPD who act this way are treated with a lot more hostility.
@@simonsalgueiro6217 I can offer my experience if you'd like. I'm a male who was diagnosed at 17. It's not really that the triggers are "random" per se, but rather extreme sensitivity. So, for example, I often feel close to crying when I'm made fun of even if it's just a mild joke. To a normal person, that might mean that they feel a little hurt and move on. To me, it often feels like a severe betrayal/the end of that friendship. I would often use anger as a way to protect myself from the fear of being made fun of further if I were to cry. So, what may be a mild annoyance to a normal person would ruin someone with BPD's mood for a few hours or maybe even days. It's a real struggle.
@@MrJames1034 I think this is an important note! I'm a male diagnosed with BPD, and there is certainly a lot less compassion and understanding with social norms. But I don't believe that Charlie or this commenter are having this double standard necessarily. I just think that because it's far less diagnosed in males, it's very difficult to know when a dude has a serious problem because they seek mental health far less often. I believe Charlie would be kind and sympathetic to the person in these texts as well if the genders were swapped.
I actually happen to have a girlfriend with BPD who I love very much. We’ve had our struggles here and there and often times I was unsure as to how our relationship would turn out. She’s very gradually making good progress and I see that she has the power to overcome her mental health issues at some point. She hasn’t ever come across the same way as the girl from these messages and it makes me realize how proud I am of her. Standing her ground and pushing against rather unfavourable odds. Glad I saw this and I’m wishing the girl from these messages the best of luck.
I feel the struggle brother. She is the most amazing woman Ive ever met but sometimes she really just knows how to hurt. I dont mind struggling for the future together tho
holy fuck guys please ive been looking for other people who are in the same situation as me for a while and its so damn difficult to find support for this stuff. me and my gf have been together for almost two years now and shes shown so much progress with her bpd and narcissism and im so fucking proud of her, but when she gets manic its terrifying and the worst thing is she cant know that im scared. please if you guys know of any support groups for partners of people w bpd or npd please tell me itd be so appreciated. people often misinterpret people with these disorders when all they really need is someone solid that can take everything they say and do in the moment, because when they are finally out of their mania they are the sweetest most loving and compassionate person you could imagine anyway just love people with bpd and npd they deserve it, ALSO THEIR SIGNIFIANT OTHERS NEED DOWNTIME LET US COMPLAIN AND DONT JUST SAY "wow theyre toxic and mean" NO SHIT THEY HAVE THE DIAGNOSIS TO PROVE IT SHITHEAD 😭
@@hopelessarguments sorry I really am not a person who often talks about anything under surface level so I haven't really ever looked. That was the first time for me opening up a little bit 🤣. It's a struggle but so is life anyways so what's a little challenge on the mental gonna do. Good luck my guy.
One day, you will learn to stop defending her and suffer alone. You will tolerate her behavior for as long as you have hope. The relation won’t go back to what it was at the beginning. I was hurt so bad, don’t fall in their trap. I even had 2 kids with her.
"Hi." *BURP*
Off to a great start.
That legit startled me and I had to pause the video for a moment to process that hahahaha.
then he fart 💀💀💀
charlie’s gassy like that
I laughed so hard that was great 🤣🤣🤣
Bro was like Rick Sanchez
The burp at 0:38 and the farts at 8:17 reminded me that I have the sense of humor of a child
me too omg
It wasn't until he started farting... I'm dead. 💀
The fact that he announces the fart. He stopped everything to let us know.
I’m crying laughing rn bro
Charlie really is that unhinged uncle who was no filter
I struggle with BPD and I promise it's not always like this. Mental illness is never an excuse to treat people like hell. That "I'm an empath" is so bs too, this guy genuinely seems nice and I hope he finds a nice healthy relationship that treats him well.
Yeah she isnt an empath, she just experiences very intense emotions lol
it is like this very often though. the consenus also is that BPD isn't really curable (yet manageable through therapy) due to the need for radical restructuring of the foundations of the respective individual's personality, which people with BPD are naturally (and understandably so) fearful of, as well as the extremely long time required for such changes, possibly surpassing their remaining lifetime.
@@theveimox4945she legit sounded like a scammer to me. Even though I’m sure it’s the bpd talking. I hope she gets the help she needs.
@@toseltreps1101BPD and therapy are a good match. don’t try to make people feel like they can’t control their emotions.
@@toseltreps1101 Meditation would be a great start.
She was right abt one thing. That guy has something special to him. He’s genuinely the king of communication and someone we should all look upto in that realm.
He was sweet and understanding but he def shouldve stopped talking to her after the first night
It’s not even that he was a god at communication, he just has basic communication skills that everyone SHOULD have and is also just a very nice guy in a world that’s over saturated with media covering awful people.
He’s a natural 🥲
Hope he finds a good one for ‘im
@@roguedyfr bruh this so sad. dude has basic minimum communication skills, but because everyone sucks at that, he makes it look great
You can't just spring your mental health onto a stranger like that. This guy deserves an award for patience and understanding cos that's next level
@@xlifexwithxlithiumx If you're aware you're like this, aware it's wrong and horrible, and still have the attitude of "that's just what it is" then you are a horrible person and should be avoided at all costs, absolutely NO ONE with a severe mental illness that affects other people so negatively should have that attitude towards it, and they certainly shouldn't be seeking relationships with other people when they know how vile of a person they are, it's purely selfishness and makes that person an objectively bad person at that stage regardless of the mental illness. It's not "hard for you to keep relationships" you are the reason the relationships go badly. You shouldn't be accepted as you are, you can and should work tirelessly to not be that person. BPD is treatable, there is no excuse to be harmful to others
@@xlifexwithxlithiumxIf your using a mental illness for bad behavior youve recognized then relationships at the time aren't something you should seek out
@@xlifexwithxlithiumxyou're aware of the problem. You've identified it. You cant keep using it as an excuse. Be upfront about your mental health, nobody deserves to step on a mine like that
Horrible take Flying Dinosaurs, as someone with BPD this is a actual struggle and you can't just expect someone to not express symptoms of a disorder they have.
Aye
Mental illness is actually terrifying. My uncle went out with a girl in his twenties. They went out on two dates and then he didn't call her for two or three days because he was very busy with work. Forth night, he woke up to her standing over his bed, sobbing, and holding a kitchen knife. Somehow he was able to talk her down and ended up driving her back to her mothers house who apologized to him and said she was mentally ill. He said that he really liked her and that she seemed completely normal on their two dates. 100% true story. Very scary stuff
what the fuck
So she made her way into his house without him hearing her break the lock? Maybe a window that was open?
She’s scary
@@brandonlamb9067 He said it was the window. Truly terrifying
Thats one crazzzzy bisssh
Omg that’s terrifying
The minute she got angry over a good morning text, would've been the last text I ever sent to her, because that's just a great indicator of future problems.
I was thinking the same thing. Even if this dude had sent her the good morning text to her liking, I can imagine something similar would’ve happened anyway down the line. Probably really soon after this situation too.
Yeah and bpd isnt an excuse, she is literally acting like a "nice guy incel" despite what charlie says.
I was already getting red flags with the "sixth sense" and "knew each other in a past life".
Good to know most of us are in agreement on that part...
The real red flag was the day before, that was the indication of a delayed fuse. Somone who goes all-in like that for a couple hours of texting is not normal. Not normal is fine by itself, but here you're risking obsessive and volatile.
This poor dude is so sweet and just wanted to get to know her first
Funny username. Does it mean “shook” as in you’re shook, like you’re the shookest? 😂
idk
@@austinlincoln3414Shookest gurl
He had way more patience than I do. I'd have been turned off by how strongly she came on to him
CRIED laughing at the abrupt "oh, I'm farting"
What point of the video was that?
@@monsieurnugaijust the video lil bro
@@monsieurnugai8:20ish
@@monsieurnugailike 8:30
@@monsieurnugai8:17
Being too busy to text in the morning made this guy dodge a bullet.
Honestly should treat his boss to the dinner instead now ahahahah
I mean, I was getting red flags from the beginning
@@Ace85858if his boss is a woman
@@iaminsfiredbytrustfration8502 or bro dinner
@@iaminsfiredbytrustfration8502 or if his boss is a man. Both work
The burp at 0:38 is the ultimate power move, no girl can resist that charm.
ok i wont@OfficerVuuduu
@EmperorFPS not you again, get out of here you little person 👍
alr i won't
Ik this has nothing too with the vid…but is my music fire
I want a jar of Charlie’s burp
He dodged his own murder.
Exactly!! This behavior is very scary and is exactly how domestic violence starts
8:14 „He‘s already won your heart over by just existing it seems like, since you- oh, I’m farting“ *fart noises*
fucking SENT me
🤣🤣🤣
Same 😭
ughhh😫😫 I'm farting! 💨💨
Did you land yet? Wonder if you can make it back home
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 why is he all of sudden just acting like this this guy lmaooo
I had a 'fight or flight' response as soon as i saw the words 'spiritual energy', 'soulmate' and 'therapy' in one screenshot
is emotional intelligence really just as much of a pseudoscience as spiritual energy to you? seek therapy.
@@kiwo579that by themselves are fine.
Problem is you have to see who's saying it lol
@@kiwo579You didn’t manage to get “soulmate” in there.
@kiwo579 it seems like you've misunderstood his/her comment. He's/she's not saying EI is the same spectrum as spiritual concepts. He's/she's saying that if you have an internal problem and need therapy to fix it might as well not get yourself into a relationship cuz wheter you admit it or not we often tend to reflect those problems and emotional conflicts we have with ourselves to others specially our partner.
And as someone who's at a stable emotional state I don't wanna be at the direct line of fire from that person's barrage of toxic remarks
“Im an empath”
Bullet dodged. Bullet the size of a train
A bullet train
@@PumpyGTReally good movie btw
@@Fireclaw5588Hopefully that dude finds a nice girl to watch bullet train with.
@@trickyvic6501 yeah
Those who say it never are lol
8:18 “oh I’m farting” has the same energy as a kid telling you he’s actively shitting his pants as he stares at you directly in the eyes
0:38 I like to imagine the first text actually had a burp and Charlie was just imitating it. Laughed hard thinking about it too
As an Australian that burp sounded like a koala, which is why I found it so funny
lmao i just posted a comment saying that too
I thought maybe it did too because I was just listening to the video in the background, I came over and rewound a few seconds to check the actual text lol
That made me _WHEEZE_ so loud
He also farted later in the vid. Charlie has been very gassy lately. Probably gearing up for that new Taco Bell menu
Any type of trauma or mental illness isn’t your fault, but it IS your responsibility. Especially if it starts causing hurt toward others who are completely innocent. Hope she got help.
This. Such a good comment.
she already is in therapy form her texts... so I guess she needs a lot more help but what else could help her if therapy isnt working to a degree where she isnt a threat to herself and her surroundings. its really sad, but man, that guy is in danger i feel like.
@@jokabox93 could be she needs to change therapists too. Sometimes that’s the situation when therapy isn’t working as intended. Hopefully there are people in her life that can make her aware that whatever she’s doing isn’t working and a change needs to happen to improve her quality of life and those she interacts with
Yep. This is a mental illness so it’s more difficult to cope with than a lot of problems, but this woman is clearly a person who needs to work on herself more before trying to commit to a relationship.
Just because she's in therapy doesn't mean she's actually listening to the therapist. She has this victim mentality which is nothing a therapist can do. Therapists can only give you tools and ideas to help you. They cannot force your hand or implant a willpower chip. You have to help yourself FIRST. Take it from someone who took therapy for depression.@@jokabox93
The pause to say “oh I’m farting” then the silence only disrupted by the farts was a much appreciated break from these texts😂
I changed it to these texts instead of this crazy lady because I hadn’t yet got the the point when we find out she has bpd. Having a personality disorder doesn’t make you crazy and I thought she was just one of the nice girls. Now that I watched the whole video I felt bad and decided to change my comment to prevent potentially upsetting someone with bpd. Sorry about that ❤
Lmaooo😭
Oh I'm farting had me dead imao💀
@OfficerVuuduu I took a dump in your channel.
Masterful commentary
0:38 uhm 😅
The art of being/communicating softly is so undervalued in the modern day because of the misinterpretation of "soft" meaning "weak" or "simple"
I think the right word is humble
yeah that's not sigma rizzing skibidi
What a day..
Dude I knew she was gonna go to the empath bullshit
Explain more
I feel so bad for him, he seems like such a great guy and he had to have an experience like that. I hope he finds someone who deserves and appreciates him
I mean... the block button exists
@@kiirosoleil what does that have to do with my comment
@@kiirosoleilnever stopped an obsessive stalker, especially an obsessive stalker with mental illness.
@@kiirosoleil don't know about that guy, but I would not engage after the first mood change, but to each their own I guess
He didn't dodge a bullet, he dodged an ICBM.
“I am an empath”
-The worst fucking person you will ever meet
Hahaga
😂 lol. Word.
so true
Fecking everyone is an empath and can pick up on feelings and how people are feeling without them saying a word.
It's not some special thing. Everyone can do it.
Women who claim this just want excuses for bad behavior.
@@billbombshiggy9254 nah there's plenty of people who legitimately can't pick up on others' emotions, even if we exclude neurodivergent peeps like certain types of autistics. besides, there's like three(?) types of empathy, so even if the vast majority of humans are empaths - different people process the same interaction uniquely, which leads to the same trait manifesting differently in different people
“Hold up I’m farting… that’s what I think of that”🤣🤣🤣
Bro didn't dodge the bullet, he matrixed the whole fucking magazine.
the clip 💀
lol
@OfficerVuuduu thank god, cant wait
@@alicenthightower9161good boy
@@philty_philgood boy
Every self-proclaimed empath i've ever met was either narcissistic, or raised by narcissist parents
LOL exactly I can't stand that word too it's just this word people use now to try and sound sophisticated it's like folks we will know if you are capable of empathy if you are a decent person lol we don't need to see on your tinder profile or whatever other crap site there is these days EMPATH
@OfficerVuuduuthis is your last warning 👮♂️
Lol same.
Which is why I don’t say “empath”. I tell people that I’m very observant of people’s feelings and emotional needs because I’ve spent my life trying to regulate my mother’s emotions to avoid mental and physical harm. Yes I was raised by a narcissist (my mother).
Exactly. I rolled my eyes so hard when she said that. Her behavior is textbook narcissism too.
THe minute she got angry over a Good Morning text, would've been the last text I ever sent to her, because that's just a great indicator of future problems.
Honestly the whole “you’re perfect for me” rant at the beginning was the red flag that should have caused him to cut her off right then and there. Anyone who thinks that someone they’ve barely talked to is their soulmate or whatever is obviously not right in the head.
@@hobojoe9717 I have dealt with ladies like this when I had a tinder profile they come on wayyyy over the top it seems kind of cool at first then they just completely flip if you aren't playing 4d chess texting exactly when they want I just become Casper the now not friendly ghost and disappear they can send all the messages they want shit is crazy!
@@hobojoe9717 I wish you could talk to 14-18 year old me... 🤦🏾♂️ Boy, ain't that a lesson.
I would've been out at message #2.
@@hobojoe9717 Exactly, that text dump she made, would concern me, red flags popping left-right-center.
I have a friend that suffers from BPD. She's in recovery with me. She's significantly younger than me and i consider her like a baby sis now. She's one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life, AND has a sweet soul. Yesterday her bf said something to her that made her absolutely fly off the handle. Like lose it to the point that i was scared. Anyway i got her bf to go his own way and i accompanied her to her bus stop and waited with her to make sure she got on safely. After she calmed down, she looked at me and tears started streaming down her face. I felt f**king terrible. I said what's wrong BB? She looked me dead in the eyes and said " i just feel so alone. I don't wanna end up alone". It took everything in me not to f**king break down. I felt that pain so deeply. People with BPD have SEVERE abandonment issues and it breaks my heart. This scenario kind of reminds me of this tbh. I hope this girlie finds some peace. And super kudos to the guy for taking it like a champ
honestly one of the most heartfelt comments on dis
@@cordona.sasha0216 💜
Wow😓 just absolutely wow. One of the most emotionally filled comments I’ve read.
out of curiosity, is your friend an adult? like above the age of 20, or out of college?
“She's significantly younger than me and i consider her like a baby sis now”
“She's one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life”
“I said what's wrong BB?”
Hol up…
Charlie's belch scared the life out of me
frfr
@HackedByFPSshut up kid
Expected nothing less from his subscribers
Same here. Also wtf is up with all these bots, god damn
@crafterbros8708 man, idk it just happens to big youtubers videos
8:16 caught me so off guard when charlie just lets the fart speak for itself 😂
I know right? immidiately rush down to the comments xD
0:39 😂
I love creators who are happy just belching and/or farting on stream ;D
💀 he announced that crap
😂
As a psych major and daughter of someone who has BPD, I could immediately tell that she struggles with it as well. They tend to lash out on people that they care for most and have intense emotions around what they feel is rejection. It sucks for everyone involved
Including love bombing and thinking they have a closer relationship than they really do, especially right after meeting people
Skill issue
She doesn't have "BPD"; she's just clingy. Stop making up disorders for everything.
@@furious_melons674Borderline is bpd. Bipolar has been renamed to manic depressive syndrome
@@koi88861”survivor” bro stop tryna make it seem more deep then it is
As someone who is recovering from BPD, my heart ached when reading this girl's text messages. I thought to leave this comment here, to try and educate people a little about BPD.
What you see in this message exchange, is something called 'Idealization and Devaluation', also known as 'splitting', which is one of the worst symptoms of BPD. That means that one simple gesture can make us idealize people, and one simple gesture can make us completely devalue them. It has nothing to do with the other person- it's all in our head.
We have no grey emotions. It's either extreme love, or extreme hate. This girl describes it as 'empath', but it's actually agony.
We tend to create scenarios and stories in our heads, based on minor things a person might do. And when the other person doesn't meet the expectation we made in our story, this swiftly changes to devaluation and rage.
A lot of the time, when we go through splitting or 'the borderline rage', we experience dissociation, which means we are completely out of control or awareness. Then we calm down and remember how ridiculous we've been, feel extreme shame and it often leads to self h@rm.
This disorder cannot be treated with medicines. It needs extensive therapy, with someone who is trained in DBT and has lots of patience. It's completely treatable, and with the right help, a person can end up no longer meeting the criteria for a diagnosis.
I have been in therapy for 4 years, and can safely say I have healed.
The best way to deal with someone like that, is to remind them that their emotions are disproportionate to the situation. The first step is self awareness, and to be able to step out of your emotions and see them like a third person.
That’s crazy
Glad you healed well! Its crazy how little some people understand about things like this, and just start getting really annoyed without taking their situation into account. We need to get this comment to the top.
@@nickmeisterrantshaving bipolar disorder isn’t an excuse to treat people badly. If someone wants to get annoyed it’s reasonable
“remind them that their emotions are disproportionate to the situation“
Every time I’ve tried to do this they just blow up even more and tell me that I’m not respecting their feelings. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but this has never worked for me when I do this politely
@Keaton42 this is in no way defending her actions, its just explaining why she reacted the way she did.
11:20 "you'll never meet someone like me again"
Got a feeling that's what he's hoping for the most.
i always find it funny when people say that during a breakup.
Like, good? I wouldn't want to be with someone who is like you, because it clearly isn't working out
"thank god"
Dating someone with BPD must be tough.
lol he didn't even meet her, just exchanged a few texts. XD
@@hamburgplz122 I used to live as a roommate to a couple where one half was... and yeah it was difficult. Especially since the one who had it was, as far as I know, untreated. frequent threats to end herself, lots of arguments, and after they broke up, the one with BPD moved out, and the other was just so burnt out by it they started using weed and checked out of life.
The sheer amount of people who would go head over heels (in a healthy distanced sense) for the texts he's sent, I just.
Man, he was so honest and treaded this situation so reasonably, I cannot believe it was somehow misconstrued even a little bit. I hope that guy knows he's an absolute gem, and I wish him the best
Facts
I feel like the whole commentary video as well as this comment is balm for the sould for a lot of guys nowadays...
Yeah he seems really sweet and like he has good communication skills.
I sensed a lot of fear coming from his texts because he doesn't have many options. He was still holding out hope that he could salvage the situation while most normal guys would have either ignored her or told her to stop texting them. He's a weak weasel, as they say.
@@RobbieStacks90k
the burp at 0:38 and then the fart at 8:17 lmaoo. this is true love indeed
The time stamps we needed, thank u stranger
You're welcome mate@@wizardsweiner
The burp was unexpected the fart was beautiful
absolutely rancid.
@@wizardsweinerthank you for your Reddit gold kind stranger
as someone who has BPD, i knew she had it in the first minutes in the video. she obviously has it pretty severely too. i had it really bad a few years back except unlike her i direct any anger or negative feelings toward myself instead of others, i did get help and have changed myself for the better but BPD isn’t something that can completely go away and it makes my life tough, i really struggle even to complete basic tasks sometimes. it’s really sad to see how badly it effects others, it makes her and other people like this sound outright evil, she obviously needs alot of help and should avoid relationships, from how she is talking it doesn’t actually sound like she’s getting any help at all tbh. so hopefully she went on to get some actual help :/ it also makes me sad that there’s a stigma around bpd that we are all horrible people, most of us truly just love very hard and look for any reciprocation. anyway thanks to anyone that reads this just please remember this behaviour doesn’t represent everyone with bpd and anyone that does act like this needs some serious help.
crazy that she dropped the “i’m an empath” line when she clearly is incapable of putting herself in his shoes and understanding that her behavior towards him was cruel and weird
It’s always the “I’m an empath” girlies who are the most toxic, self absorbed people you’ll ever meet.
The thing with BPD is that you're so emotionally "weak" that you end up to only be able to see your version of the story. It's shitty but that's what BPD does
@@gibier1724if that’s what it revolves around, should I get checked for it…
@pecc9678 There's other thing around BPD but that's a huge part of it. Ik I'm in this shitty disorder but like every disorder each person has a deferent (reaction?) to it. Still BDP is mostly related to unstable emotion related to emotion and bad Self-perception which end up that the BPD person is only able to see/fell his/her emotion at the time.
@@gibier1724 my friend has BPD and I’m trying to understand
Crazy that when he asked “what stood out about me?”, she just said something about herself lmaoooo
Yeah, but mostly all women are self centred
dude was being soooo nice. he let her ramble on and fed her delusions. would've ghosted her hard just after the "past life" nonsense
That's women for you. Can't think for themselves 99% of the time and when they do it's about themselves.
@@TJ20232who hurt you bro
@@TJ20232 never comment again
“Love is not a lie, you were” is actually such a good line
Don't let taylor swift sees this
Lol @@aeoligarlic4024
@@aeoligarlic4024 I chortled at this
Is it??
@@TheJunkShotfrom her, no, but this is a pretty deep line in the correct context
Thank you for being so understanding of people with bpd! We get demonised a lot and we dont all act like this. I was so happy to hear you being understanding and supportive
I also have BPD, and I was quickly able to tell she probably had it. We fall in love easily, connect and become attached too easily, expect things to happen, etc. It’s a pretty rough disorder to have. I still cry over small situations like that as my brain tries to tell me xyz person doesn’t love me because they didn’t text ‘good morning’ or something. I will cry. But do I say anything about it? No. Because it’s not normal. It ruins friendships, and it’s toxic. So I suck it up and cry it out. It was hard to learn how to do that, as in the past the only way to make the pain stop was to say how I felt. Now I’m getting better at telling myself that things aren’t true, and if I need to cry it out I do.
I hate being so sensitive. I hate it.
Was your BPD diagnosed?
@@marcin8865 I was officially diagnosed with it last month. I may be put on mood stabilizers to help. I hope I can get on them soon
womp womp
@@nolansrich rude
I appreciate your self awareness and for informing us about the topic! Wishing you the best of luck with your BPD, it is no joke.
“Hi 🤮 been thinking about you lately “
0:39
Who asked ? My content is better anyways broski
@EmperorFPSno fucking way you people are real
@@qualjusmagalgus4764I can’t believe it either😐
Ik this has nothing too with the vid…but is my music fire
"Hi! :3"
*fucking dies at **0:38*
"I've been thinking about you all evening
the way you wrote this comment has me dying 😭😭
I’m glad someone pointed this out, but why tf is all the replies bots???
Welcome to youtube blud.
@@PenguinXD4sybau “blud”
@@Infact77 same💀
As someone with BPD myself I appreciate so so much how charly approaches it. simply acknowledging the struggle, saying he has sympathy for it and that he wishes the best for the people is enoguh for me because a lot people just love seeing BPD persons as nothing but monsters literally. a lot stigma is out there too about it sadly
made me very happy the way he talks about this
I technically have(had) BPD too according to what mental health professionals would say, but after 3 years of absolute hell and seeing myself as a victim of outer circumstances and making it worse for myself, I lost everything and I had to build from the ground up again - only this time with the perspective of personal responsibility after doing basically years of research into psychology and philosophy. It's definitely curable as I have experience with it first-hand, you just need to stop seeing yourself as someone with no control over your life.
@@KiarashTaherkhani
you actually summed it up well. It's hard to sum up a disorder like bpd and that's not all to it.
But it's basically what I did. It was the main problem what you describe here. I thought of myself always as the helpless victim. because I was for a very long time as a young child. It was hell but I was too young to change anything. But growing older I kept thinking I am a helpless victim. That I can't help myself out of it because I got used to it. I didn't know different. Had zero confidence. I was living in hell but I stayed there instead of fixing it. My past led me there I think. I've ruined relationships because I made my partner the hero to save me. Expecting way too much bc if that. It ruined 2 relationships.
I tried therapists but most of them were very misinformed about bpd themselves sadly. But I researched a lot and worked on my mindset and how I handle things. And now I am so so much better it's a difference like day and night.
I fully agree that it's curable. About 15-20 ish years ago psychologists even said bpd is uncurable. I am glad that this view has changed. I am so glad I don't have to live with this anymore. It changed so much in my life. Even tho in my case it was crucial for my healing to leave home cause I kept getting traumatized and treated awfully,. That really wasn't a good environment to fix my bpd.
But now I live in my own apartment happily and even am able to have relationships again 🌻
Putting those farts in there while I had earphones in is diabolical
those farts were hot
they made me edge
“Oh, I’m farting” *pfft *pfft. 8:17
This is somehow some of the funniest shit I have ever witnessed.
I had to rewatch it 3 times. Amazing.
Fr 😂😂
Blud burps after a "hi" and proceeds to double fart after reading some cringe messages
I'm not even normally into fart jokes but that absolutely broke me. I haven't legit laughed out loud like that in a good while 😂
@@Dont_Read_My_Picture shut up nobody cares about your stupid rickroll . Weve all seen people do this a million times
0:38 bro just let that slip out and acted like nothing happened afterwards
It's sweet to have honest people around
scrolled too far for this
charlie emits gas out of both ends in this video. such a chill dude..
@@booty_mcscooty this man has absolutely NO BOUNDARIES
he shall do WHATEVER
simply because NO ONE CAN STOP HIM
it runs deeper than you think
😂
bro i aspire to have the patience, understanding, care and at the same time not be weak willed and still set up my boundaries like this guy
so genuinely impressive and admirable
anyone confessing their love to you after a couple hours of knowing them is just not a good sign
that's what I'm saying, I was like, "no wayy this is gonna end well" and what do you know 💀
Mhm word
Exactly, that's not off to a good start. You know NOTHING about the other person.
That's how you end up with a guaranteed mess of a relationship, you don't know anything about the other person's life and are fitting them into your life based on looks alone.
@OfficerVuuduu Since yuh like fi ramp black magic ow bout mi lef fun likkle hex inna yuh computa fi yuh tuh find
It’s a sign of delusion.
As someone who has BPD and diagnosed narcissism disorder I can say it is a constant war to not become someone daily who can hurt those around me just by having my mind trick me into being someone I work extremely hard to control. Listening to this conversation shows me how many people cannot just control that erratic behavior side of themselves. I’m glad I have the mental fortitude to conduct myself better and be aware if I am overreacting in a situation.
Self-awareness is pretty crucial for stuff like this I think. And of course, the fortitude and will to behave appropriately lol😅
honestly good on you, i have bpd so this post really hit close to home for me. i hope she can get the help she needs
Dude mad respect. Having self awareness is a blessing when dealing with mental health. Acknowledging that your mind is playing tricks and fighting to be that better person is honestly super admirable.
Coming from a teen who’s struggling with OCD, it’s really admirable that you work hard to keep your mental illness at bay and it actually inspires me to not give up when my mind gets too negative 🤍
Thank you I am glad I can encourage you with my words and help facilitate improvements for the betterment of yourself.
I have BPD and im not gonna lie, a lot of my old conversations used to go like this ALOT. Lost a ton of friendships and relationships because of it. Ive been able to go to therapy and establish healthy friendships now. BPD Shouldn't be an excuse for her, especially that she's proven to have access to therapy. All in all I feel for the guy and the girl, hoping she can get better and hoping this doesnt effect the guy too much.
Well BPD isn't something that switches like a light switch, it takes weeks for the mind to change with BPD. That girl is just a narcissist who views herself above others, she literally wants this stranger to stop his life and make her his main priority... if that ain't narcissistic idk what is lol
@@drewdj45Wrong. Mania can be very prevalent in BPD. Its different for everyone.
@@radchum no not wrong, I’ve studied psychology for the past 4 years of my life. Not tryna be a know it but I literally go to school to study this type of stuff
@@drewdj45neither of you are wrong , not every persons mind works the same
@@drewdj45Then you would know that BPD causes a broad range of reactions and labeling it as a singular type is disingenuous
Jumpscare at 0:38. That burp is on point as Carl on Jimmy Neutron.
I have pretty severe BPD, & she is still letting herself go off the deep-end. Charles is absolutely right-this guy is a gem & he communicated exceptionally well; it's not his fault she has BPD & is struggling, & even her diagnosis doesn't excuse her behavior or treatment of him. She needs continued help & absolutely shouldn't be in a relationship right now, and, speaking from experience & not making a dig of any kind, she would benefit from balanced medications.
Hey, feel free to totally not answer if this question if this is too personal but what meds have made a difference regulating your emotions? I am trying mood regulators for the first time in my life and haven't found medications that have worked yet.
she needs dbt, not medication. medication could potentially help on the side if she suffers from severe depression or anxiety from her bpd but it’s not going to really do much to help how her brain thinks and reacts to things.
@@emilywolf1235 im not OP but i have been on Lamictal for 2 years and it has completely changed my life in terms of my BPD. its almost like im a completely different person.
This isn't in regards to the video at all, but I thought you had a very nice pfp. :D
AGREED!!
As soon as a girl says she's an "empath" run for the hills
Iron maiden?
why limit it to one gender? anyone who says that unironically is someone you need to step away from, not just women lol I'd be more scared of a man saying that to me than any woman could ever make me
@@lingonberryjam320 Run for your life
@@Neelo5000....Soldier blue in the barren wastes
@danrovis5171 hunting and killing's the game...
Oh lord I've been in this situation before but on a longer-term scale. Being a PwBPD's "favorite person" can happen pretty fast and have detrimental effects on both the favorite person and the person with the disorder. It's really heartbreaking to think you've found "the one meant for you" who treats you unlike anyone ever has, only for that behavior to switch to cold, distant contempt seemingly out of nowhere or for reasons unbeknownst to you. BPD makes them feel emotions WAY more intensely and irrationally than how a regular person would process them, so her saying she's "an empath" makes complete sense because that's how she *perceives* it.
What's even scarier is her inflated sense of self. I have a feeling she truly believes there is something unique and special about her, but even unbeknownst to her, it's really a rationalization for a deep insecurity buried outside of her view.
@@squarewheel9113 Yeah, hopefully that's something she can work out with a therapist. A lot of the time people with BPD will try to rationalize their behavior or make sense of it when really it's just a type of emotional overload that's out of their control.
I had co-morbid C-PTSD and BPD for eight years, and I'm not justifying any abusive behavior - I just want people to PLEASE be aware that BPD is considered by mental health professionals to produce *the most intense emotional pain and distress in those who have this condition* - and it is NO joke.
Put your safety first, obviously, but also please please understand that their reality is just constant emotional pain. It was SO much worse than just my C-PTSD alone and my physical chronic pain condition.
@@Bfkcjscbsnjcyet you took the time to watch. AND type out a comment, do you not see the irony in that? 😂😂😂
preach
Dating someone with bpd is nothing easy to deal with, but its nothing compared to suffering from bpd. Mental illnesses are no fun, but bpd especially is a different one. Imagine what she must have been feeling in order to say all this coo coo stuff. Extreme respect and props to the guy for being such a good person.
I dated a girl with BPD years ago. NGL I felt bad for her but she was so toxic and painful to be around. She flipped from super sweet to extremely toxic in a second. When I tried to break up with her she threatened to kill herself unless we stayed together.
As much as I feel for people suffering from this condition, I couldn’t do that again. As soon as she mentioned BPD a romantic relationship would be off the table for me.
That is SUPER common unfortunately. At the end of the day, it's a manipulation tactic :/
Similar experience with an ex partner who suffered from BPD, just such extreme emotions and toxicity, and the suicide/harm baiting :(( it scared me
how did you break up tho? i mean, what did you do when she threatened to kill herself? im curious cause i feel i may have a very similar situation soon
@sirlike5915 unfortunately, you have to not care. More than likely they are saying that to manipulate you into staying and they don't actually mean it. Don't fall for it. The ONLY thing you can do when you decide to leave, is stay firm in that decision and dont let her manipulative tactics work.
If she pulls the I will kill myself, turn it on her. Say you have a moral obligation to call cops and get her help. Then step away and call them. If she is saying those things, then she needs help anyways.
@@sirlike5915My ex would threaten suicide anytime I tried to leave. It's a manipulation tactic. You can offer them, like, helpful sites or offer to help them find a therapist but you still NEED to leave them. If someone tries to force you to stay with them by threatening ANYTHING then it'd manipulation.
as a person who struggles with bpd, its not okay for her to use it as an excuse for her behavior. that makes all of us who are trying to heal and be better look bad and its why alot of people demonize people who have bpd.
i feel like it can very well be an excuse for some behaviors but NOT justification, i think theres a big difference between those two statements. like for example "oh, i was mad at you so i kicked you" the excuse there would be being mad but it doesnt justify the action in the slightest
@@boootyassi think “explanation” is a better word for it. excuse literally means to justify. so i would say her bpd doesn’t excuse her actions, but can explain them
True, feel that.
I mean yeah, depends on how you explain it, to make it not an excuse imo.
Exactly. Also got bpd. It’s super important to take responsibility and communicate when you’re struggling. I’ve really only been in 1 longterm relationship, and she never really understood what I was going through really, but she’s definitely not too blame. We had a lot of dark things going on in her personal life and while I’ve also been through it, I have bpd and a poor control over my emotions. When things got intense or dark or if she was taking out her grief on me I would feel attacked and use and say horrible things against her. We were on and off for years but broke it off probably for good last year. She has done and said pretty shitty things to me as well, definetly broke my heart. But it’s not the bpd, it’s who I was. And that’s really hard to accept. It’s important to understand what bpd actually does to you and to fully understand what kind of person you were. I felt that I was weak and powerless before and needed to take what cheap shot I could so that maybe that person could feel as hurt as I do. I super hard and I don’t have a definite answer, but for ones own growth it’s important to take responsibility for your actions, not using mental illness as a crutch, and establish a healthy outlook on your own self value.
"you'll never meet someone like me again"
Thank GOD
I dated someone like that and it was like having a puppy who could text you
@@Spiralredd accurate, but a puppy wouldn't be rude to you....well not intentionally at least
LOL
Yeah cause only 3 million people get diagnosed with this every year. Good luck and I'm one of them.
My ex in a nutshell, I was blind
I hope this guy does find the person he deserves. And that she gets all the therapy she needs
"I already feel like ive known you forever" I can tell you from experience bail if you ever hear that one
her: "I was in my feels this morning because I didn't get a good morning text"
me: "Blocked"
Yeah, because you WILL do something they don't like and then be like "You're not the person I've always known..."
@@jbrou123Same😂
Yup life is easier if you just stay clear of those crazies
@@jbrou123Absolutely.
"Hi (BELLLLLCHH), continues reading" XDDD "oh im farting" LOOLLL
Hahaha! Lol!
11:09 I know it’s supposed to read as “you lost the best girl, you’ll never meet someone like me again” but it reads as “you lost the best girl you’ll never meet” and that pretty well sums this interaction up 😭
8:10 Since you, hold up I’m farting….💨
i have BPD and i used to sound a LOT like this its actually embarrassing to me to see this and have to remember how i was before. I'm glad that she's in therapy for this right now, i hope that she has some self awareness eventually and shows this to her therapist so that they can work through it together. I feel so bad for the people who had to deal with me when i was like this. i did go back and apologize to them after i had help.
The sad part is I am kind of like this too. I met a girl who was like me and was able to follow my energy.
@@Spiralreddur just enabling each others dependency though , u should both work on it
@@cia1542 we'd rather embrace it. There's nothing wrong with being crazy about each other. I'd rather her be crazy for me than not care
@@Spiralreddas someone with bpd and hpd who has figured shit out you're going about it the wrong way seek help and outsource. ive done the same thing and had the same thought trust me!
@@jasper1957 well that's you. We're getting married and it's working for me and her
Her going from confessing her love, to losing it over him not sending a “good morning” text fast enough, all in under 24 hours, is so, so sad and troublesome. May this girl get the help she needs 🙏
yea she may be definetley lonley
Look up the disorder that Charlie mentions, borderline personality disorder - it'll probably give you a better idea of what happened. And yes, I agree she was out of line, and let's hope she reflects on it with her therapist before moving on.
If only Arkham Asylum was a real place
Some type of mental disorder schizo
Charlie touching on BPD is actually so heartwarming. The stigma around it is crushing for people who have it and for him to show sympathy is really refreshing to see, thank you
BPD does not need to be de-stigmatized the way you think it does. It's in the same category of mental disorder as Anti-Social Personality disorder, but I don't see you advocating mental health awareness for serial killers. BPD people destroy and Sabotage every life and relationship around them by nature and they need Medical Intervention or Psychiatric if necessary.
Charlie just doesn’t want people with BPD to break his door down and rob him so he’s forced to be nice
no seriously, i have it and immediately started sweating when it got brought up. i've had creators i watched for AGES all the sudden talk about how everyone with BPD is a monster who can't control themself....it's heartbreaking every time 😅 what a breath of fresh air Charlie's take was!
@@originofsky SAME :((((( it sucks so much as someone who focuses so hard on treatment & improving my symptoms and it hurts so much to feel like even though im trying so hard and i (personally think i) have improved so much and am able to keep myself safe and have a healthy longterm relationship etc that no matter what people will always view me as some kind of monster :( charlies take was really nice to hear
My ex had it and I’m still scared of her even though we haven’t spoken in a year
I have bpd and it is SO easy to fall into this distructive and hurtful spiraling behavior. Mental illness is tricky, but it's unfair to push it onto other people. It takes SO much work to be able to stabilize yourself when you're spiraling like this without taking it out on others.
Do you feel empathy? I have aspd, so I’m curious about other cluster b disorders
@@girth_goblin Yes! It's like a two-sided coin where I can either spiral over someone's slight shift in mood or build stronger relationships with them by noticing the little things
me too bonnie we are in it together 🙏🏻
well i hope you're living a good life , stay strong
As someone with a psychology degree and experience with people with BPD, BPD does NOT make a person commit actions that harm others. There are still symptoms like abandonment issues, mood swings, impulsive attachment, and things of the like, but it does not inherently cause you to hurt others. That is still their choice to do. While I deeply sympathize with people who struggle with this mental illness, they cannot blame their mental issues when they go out of their way to hurt people for little to no reason
EDIT: I want to clarify what I mean really quick so people aren’t confused. I do not believe people with BPD have full control over their emotions. Nor do I believe it’s impossible for them to have a seemingly uncontrollable impulsive reaction that can cause harm in the moment to the self or someone else. I saying going out of your way to cause someone harm then blaming it on BPD is not okay and it’s their choices at that point.
For context, the girl being upset over not getting a good morning text and being moody about it? Yeah that’s textbook BPD behavior and while not okay, understandable given the circumstance. Her harassing him for god-knows-how-long after he dipped out? Her choice and not strictly because of BPD. That’s what I meant to say but could’ve worded it more clearly. Thank you to those who wanted clarification (and providing clarification with their own experiences) and not immediately thinking I’m just hating on people with BPD
Everyone has been using mental health issues to get out of shits. Like serial killers wont take accountability for their crimes because they "was bullied and depressed"
My BPD for the last 23 years has done nothing but make me hurt myself physically and emotionally. I couldn't ever see myself being this mad at someone for 0 reason. When there's reason oh all bets are off. I also have psychosis that's getting progressively worse now Ive passed my late twenties and entering my early 30s. I want to be gone more than anything but I won't harm another human being.
can confirm as a person with borderline. we’re far more likely to be hurt than to do the hurting - and people will use our disorder against us to say WE’RE the abusers. shit sucks
This is so wrong it's unbelievable. My cousin has had to be baker acted because of his clinically diagnosed BPD when he held his whole family up at gunpoint.
I also have bpd and appreciate your sentiment, it sucks but I have to take accountability for my actions
i was just recently diagnosed with bpd and honestly, i have the same kinds of thoughts running thru my head when i like a guy. thankfully i have built up the self control to not say those thoughts most of the time, but i can fully feel her struggle. liking someone when u have bpd is torture. getting attached way too quickly, but having to pretend like you aren't already immediately in love with them, and then just being constantly paranoid that they'll leave you and reading into everything little thing they do, until it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and they actually do leave and then you absolutely break down because you were so attached and you know you were the one who pushed them away in the first place. i don't think it should be used as an excuse for saying the things she said at all, but rather just as an explanation.
this is really making me think I might have BPD... oops 😅
I feel you and fully agree! In this case, diagnosis is a reason, even though that's not an excuse
Interesting read, thank you
@@arsena5209 there has to be mood swings to have BPD. having intense fear of abandonment, and becoming attached very quickly is a common symptom of BPD, borderline personality disorder, or dependent personality disorder.
@@Levilevi4 and even then, BPD shares a lot of symptoms with other conditions, so it really can't be correctly diagnosed without professional help.
“I rest my case I’ll let my asshole do the talking” is now my new catchphrase
lol i had to replay that part, caught me off guard. Like "where did it say- oh wait blood actually farting.."
I love how Charles addresses mental health and communication in this video so much. But please, coming from someone who has struggled with mental illness, value your own safety and wellbeing in these situations. It’s so beautiful to be understanding of others but never do so in a way that sacrifices your wellness. I found it so concerning that at the time this was released, this person was still trying to get in contact with him. You are absolutely allowed to be assertive with your own health and safety
The way charlie says "ope im farting" like it just slips out of him is hilarious to me idk why but it is.😂😂
As a man with BPD, this is textbook BPD, but I have never had this type of outburst. No doubt the clingyness is a severe struggle. Falling in "love" with someone right away is also a thing that happens. Case in point, if a woman says something nice to me or compliments me, it is very difficult for me to not be clingy, but I constantly remind myself that she's simply being nice.
I hope this woman is able to work on herself more. She cannot treat people like this. All she will do is push others away. Props to the guy for handling this whole situation with grace.
Hey, so I'm a 25 year old man who's been curious if I have BPD.
My psychiatrist was fairly confident that I have it at one point but without going into details with me he said that he no longer believes it to be the case, even though I exhibit a lot of classic BPD symptoms. Afterwards we landed on an autism and ADHD diagnosis along with CPTSD but that last one I'm not 100% on.
Could I please ask how you noticed it and got it diagnosed? I still relate to a lot of stories BPD sufferers talk about and I could use some insight, if you don't mind.
@fan
bpd is often considered a female only disorder, you can advocate for yourself more or find a new doctor.
one important thing to bring up is how ur symptoms are triggered or worsened due to romantic or interpersonal relationships
bring up examples of situations you can think of
some common signs of BPD being triggered in a relationship is, getting really angry or upset at ur partner for not texting you first (like in the video here), being irrationally jealous and feeling like ur partner is going to leave you at any moment, putting loved ones on pedestals or idolizing them one moment to demonizing them the next. examples of when you may have flipped out or been upset at a partner or friend for not being available to you for something thats unreasonable
some key moments for me, getting really angry and wanting to stop being friends with someone because they said no to hanging out, getting jealous and angry and wanting to hurt myself when my friend was hanging out with other friends, being sent into suicidal fits when my boyfriend fell asleep on me, etc
the big difference between the disorders u listed and bpd is bpd is mainly (and only) triggered in relationships, this can be friendships and familial relationships too! goodluck :)
Bipolar or borderline?
@@MisseryMothfemale only disorder? I don’t think that’s correct, I have met a male with it
@MisseryMoth There is no such thing as a „female only“ disorder. Mental illness exists everywhere, to both genders. The fact you think men are incapable of having mental illness is concerning and telling 🤨
Mental illness does not discriminate based on race, sex, colour, gender, ethnicity or national origin and neither should you…
Poor dude, seems like a really great guy. I hope they both find people that will love them.
Nah she will ruin a person I don’t think she should be in a relationship or on that dating app at all. Frankly she should be in therapy and in a medic somewhere
@@ibra8096 well yeah, not right now clearly. I meant down the road once she gets more help.
people with BPD can't have meaningful relationships. they see everyone as a pawn to use to gain something. there isnt any real helpful treatment for it yet
@@ibra8096 don't project such negativity onto this person's positive uplifting comment. Really speaks volumes as to your attitude and intentions at that moment. Do better
-A caring man
@@user-rg9gm4dk3dAnd who says I was being negative? I was just saying it as it is. She should stay away from dating apps for her own benefit and the benefit of others who she’ll just use as episodic punching bags (no, I’m not saying it’s her fault she has BPD, but that’s the case nevertheless, so let’s not act like it doesn’t exist). If you took my comment as negative, that’s on you, but I suppose I could have sugarcoated it a lot more.
8:40 "she then also explains she goes to therapy for her borderline personality disorder"
I WAS LITERALLY THINKING SHE MUST HAVE BPD, WITH THE WAY SHE WENT FROM MADLY IN LOVE FOR NO REASON TO HATEFUL AND DEPRESSIVE OUT OF NOWHERE
0:37 Nicely timed burp there.
And 8:16 where he felt the need to announce he's letting a few rip.
Him announcing the farting fucking floored me lmao
Cracked me up
@@buenadzidzia6328 LMAO Yeah. Especially the faint sounds of the farts heard in the background.
8:17 is the greatest moment in youtube history
I dated a girl with BPD. It was EXACTLY like this. Whenever they feel like someone is about to abandon them, they get really scared and [unfortunately] end up doing everything in their power to make absolutely _sure_ that the person leaves. It's an awful disorder.
She's doing great now though! On some good meds, has a baby and a wonderful boyfriend and everything! So it's totally possible, there is hope :)
Yup I had exactly that happen to me
@jackdrippr2891 ah yes, lets call people "things" because they had a kid without signing a piece of paper first.
@jackdrippr2891 some people just don't believe in marriage but they stay together forever. I have friends that have been together for 30 years with kids and never wanted to get married. Everyone is different.
@jackdrippr2891based but kind of an incel take at the same time
@jackdrippr2891Upload a picture of yourself to your channel
i'm glad people appreciate wholesome guys like that though
I was with a girl with BPD. The flips from her being super sweet to a demon, in an instant, were incomprehensible to me.
Edit: I met this girl in a psych ward as I also had this and many other disorders… I never understood how one could conduct themself as she did. 2 years later she still harasses and threatens me.
Or a scammer that wants to harvest bro's organs
My mom has it
Surprise, that's what BPD is.
as someone with bpd - it's pretty incomprehensible to us too, lol.
in saying that, even to me this is insane. this is just someone with bpd with zero regulation in how they deal with their own disorder. these texts say a lot about the fact that while this person has been diagnosed, they have either not gotten the treatment they need, or are very early in their journey to working through it, or (unlikely but possibly) are actively avoiding treatment for it as it gives them an easy 'out' for any bad behaviour.
We aren’t all like this I promise.
0:38 with that burp any girl would be yours instantly, there is no better introduction known to any human
Wtf
@@Nilocywho asked? my contents better anyways.
@@KitKat290-zo6uswho asked? my content is better anyways.
As a girl, i can confirm this made me weak in the knees XD
who asked? my contents better anyways.
it's really refreshing to see someone online be this sympathetic towards people with BPD
whenever i see it mentioned it's quickly followed by others saying that people with BPD are horrible manipulative monsters, so it was really good to see Charlie talk about it with kindness towards the disorder, while still making it VERY CLEAR that this woman is in no way ready for any kind of romantic relationship
You would be laughing at charlie's video if it was a man doing it calling him incel so stop
@user-xg6sx5ev9u why would I, someone with bpd, laugh at a man with bpd being insulted for having bpd? Go strawman someone else
Yeah, it really sucks that people have so much hate towards others with mental illness. I have had to deal with that all my life. I agree that it was good to see a RUclipsr address the disorder with a high level of class and taking both sides. Not many people do that. If you ever notice in TV shows or movies, characters that have BPD are almost always the villain. We've definitely got the short-end of the stick.
....Or perhaps you just choose to see the negative responses and ignore the positive ones? Because I've never seen a mental health situation where the majority of people weren't sympathetic.
@kevingriffith677 Yeah, I am somehow telepathically capable of only ever clicking videos or posts that contain shitty comments! Professor Xavier will for sure give me a call soon to invite me to his school for super cool people.
There's a whole subreddit dedicated to people who are very vitriolic towards anyone with BPD. Any time someone with BPD is portrayed in media, they're always hurting someone else in some way. So many people online make shitty comments about others BPD, calling anyone with th disorder a bad toxic person.
I literally said "whenever I see it mentioned". I'm literally talking about my personal experience.
It was only last week that I saw people defending people with BPD on Twitter after a user made a horrible thread about it.
I'm not focusing only on the bad comments. It is very rare for me to see many sympathy for people with BPD. I'm talking about my personal experience.
I know I’m getting to this late but I’ve had a similar situation to this happen recently and it’s terrifying. A girl I was talking to was intensely affectionate and sweet, but one day she completely switched up and ghosted me not long after. We had already gone on a couple of dates and I’m still scratching my head about it all
as someone who has it; BPD does not inherently make you act like a terrible person. BPD can give you abandonment issues, insecurity, impulsiveness, attaching to others quick, oversharing problems- all of which it seems like this girl struggles with, but it does not MAKE you act like this. i have sympathy with her for struggling with such a horrible mental illness but not for how others react when she acts this way. she’s responsible for her own actions, not this man or anybody else. he didn’t have to be this patient with her and i wouldn’t blame him if he wasn’t but what a kind soul for doing so anyways.
@OfficerVuuduu no you
You just need the right man in your life. That's what's missing.
@@RobbieStacks90 oh my god. thanks, I needed a good laugh
“Your mental illness may not be your fault but it is your responsibility”
My gf has bpd and has definitely had issues from it but honestly she’s more emotionally stable than I am. She’s aware of it and acts accordingly.
Charlie really dropped the ball not sending a "good morning" text to that apex legends guy after 3 consecutive games.
@OfficerVuuduu ok i wont
😂😂😂
Fr. Would've been a nice rebound after the recent break up
seriously what more do you need than matching with someone 3 times in one night in a random queue?
i’m a straight dude and so much serendipity in the room would’ve have me questioning! 😂
as someone with BPD, she is not a fucking "empath," she has a disorder that amplifies her emotions to a painful and dysfunctional extent. I really hate it when people try and romanticize the disorder and frame it as something good when in reality it's nothing but a curse that needs to be worked around. she was clearly in so much pain by the end but i really hope she develops a better sense of self awareness or she will be alone for the rest of her life.
Ikr, its not like they lack cognitive abilities and intelligence. Cant blame EVERYTHING on BPD
yeah this romanticization of mental health issues need to stop
I agree with you to an extent. I think that people unhealthily romanticizing mental health disorders is a very unhealthy and dangerous thing. But I think it's a little too harsh to say that BPD is "nothing but a curse." I was diagnosed when I was around 17, and was in a toxic relationship. One of the ways that I learned to cope over the years is to accept the bad and the good of the hand I was dealt. Having more emotions than most, in my opinion, is one of my best and worst qualities for different reasons. I think there is always a bright side to look at and I hope you're doing well, from someone who understands the struggle. We all deserve patience and kindness ❤
I agree with one of the other commenters on this, your take is definitely a bad one. Obviously romanticizing mental health is bad but your way of saying “cursed” is like not only a horrible thing to say to other people, but yourself. Victimizing oneself will never make anything better
I'll agree that empath isn't correct. But I can certainly get where she would come to that conclusion. Considering both BPD feel emotions stronger than neurotypical people, along with studies showing that people with BPD are hyper aware of expression changes, for instance a neurotypical person can detect an expression at 70% while the same expression can be detected by a person with BPD at 30%. I think with those together it's pretty easy to come to that conclusion even if it's incorrect. You can learn more from HealthyGamerGG's BPD 101 video.
I dated a Bipolar it was insane the texts are 100% accurate to Bipolar and made so much sense when she said that, thanks Charlie really helped me actually great video.
8:16 the fact that he announced it 😭. If an asteroid was approaching earth Charlie would only have to glance at it for a moment before it gets shattered.
I’m crying at that part 😂😂😂
I just...I...
".. oh I'm farting"
why do I tolerate this shit? Charles you're the only one I'll put up with this shit (fart) for.
RIGHT? I would literally call anyone else out, but he's such a humble person, I can't help but overlook it 😂
my farts are better than charlie's
@@Fartacus44 and yet your farts remain solemnly your own business rather than gracing our ears like Charles'.
@@gavin__ I should start a patreon 🤔
@@Fartacus44 it will never compare to the elegance of Charlie's toots
She definitely should’ve explained that she has BPD earlier. My best friend has BPD, and these sort of mood swings are entirely too real. It’s sad that the woman in these messages is leading people on like this, with all the love bombing and shit then switching up the next day. i imagine that’s exactly what the therapy is for tho.
If she's in therapy, she's not applying any of the recommendations therapists usually give to people with BPD. There are plenty of people out there with BPD who, thanks to therapy, stop to think and process their emotions instead of blowing up like that
@OfficerVuuduuget a job lil bro
I have bpd, we can be selfaware and work on ourselves especially with therapy, shes generally just not trying it looks like, i have my moments where i split and go nuts but i generally try to keep it to myself and not bring it onto other people. That doesnt always work, but we are capable of managing, though note some might be worse then others.
To be fair, they only knew each other for less than 24 hours and we don't know how she talks with other people, so I wouldn't call it "leading someone on" when she let him know the next day. I do agree that someone with BPD, or someone with anything that might be a dealbreaker for potential partners, should be upfront and honest about it. Hiding it will not only cause problems for the relationship, but also for anyone else facing the bad stigmas and stereotypes.
IF she even has it. Sounds more like an excuse she's making for her behavior to me. (and if she does have it, and is being honst, she's still weaponizing it)
Her having BPD and continuing to pursue situations in which her disorder manifests knowing it will hurt ppl is on her
She knows she needs to fix it so she has enough autonomy to identify issues; she’s not doing enough though because she refuses to wait until she’s mentally well to pursue relationships.
I have an anxious attachment style and it manifests in some rlly gross clingy behaviour that hurts both parties; that attachment style is likely underpinned by deep-seated insecurities due to my disability. It’s not my fault rlly. What is my fault is any pain that comes from me choosing to go into relationships when I KNOW ppl are gonna get hurt
As someone recovering with BPD, I felt this way too hard and I feel so sorry for both people involved. IMO (from personal experience) Someone struggling with this disorder to the extreme of splitting over literally nothing should never be in a romantic relationship, especially not like this. It’s so damaging for both individuals involved and the people around them. I really hope that she realizes that she needs to take time to heal herself and not depend on others for her happiness, and that the OP doesn’t take this experience too negatively on himself. It’s a torturous disorder to live with, but it’s manageable. It’s a good thing that he stood up to that.
Yes I soooo agree. I had to take a few breaks from dating because I realized I wasn't in the right place to be in a relationship. BPD is terrible and lonely, and I remember being so desperate to find people who love me. But I definitely needed to have my primary focus be on helping myself. I'm glad to see some other people with BPD in these comments who are also recovering!
I'm scared for him if he's getting threatening/dangerous messages STILL. My brother has it too and he's locked up now. It's no joke.
@@scylights9449 I completely understand how you feel. My last relationship ended in about march of 2023 and I’ve stayed out of them since. I hurt that person so badly because before them I was in the worst relationship of my life that literally gave me dissociative amnesia amongst other things and while recovering from it I was one of the most unstable and toxic people imaginable. And constantly craving that validation from others and exploding when I couldn’t get it didn’t help. It’s best to find happiness in yourself and partly your friends and life in general rather than parasite-style sucking it from others. It’s not intentional, we’re stuck in a constant on-edge defense mode but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. It’s our responsibility to realize when we are unwell and to try and get better and take steps forward to make that happen. I think you’re doing very well and I’m proud of you for still being here and realizing your state.
What an extravagant way of saying this is a toxic #$&%$ and she needs to meditate for some weeks before she can even interact with society.
@@Ilive_420 Usually borderline individuals don’t act on those urges externally because it all comes from a place of hurt. I don’t think this person would track him down especially over something so small, but I do think that he should still be careful. I don’t know the extent of her (the girl in the texts) splitting so she may be the type to act on her hateful impulses but usually the threats and insults are just words coming from a place of hurt. Either way, he should still be cautious but I do think he will be okay.
He had time to announce it 8:12 What a gentleman.
That "Hi" (burp) took me out
Same ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
that and the just deadpan declaration of "oh, i'm farting" and then the double fart. absolute power moves.
lol I was looking for someone to point that out
One of the best so far
@OfficerVuuduu Don’t translate.
अपने आप को मार डालो
8:17 had me CRYING 😭
Dated a girl with BPD for a year and it was the hardest year of my life. It went similar to this in the beginning then ended up spiraling hard after a couple months.
The only reason I stayed with her is because she constantly threatened to k*ll herself, k*ll me or k*ll my family/friends if I left her. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life. BPD is not an excuse to threaten such things. I finally mustered up the courage to leave after a year of agony.
Long story short, be careful who you open up to and yes I know mental illness is hard but just a warning to people that try to connect with someone with BPD. It can be extreme and ridiculously draining on you. I do wish her the best even after all that happened though. I’m not the type to hate anybody but damn was that a tough time.
Ask someone with my own mental health struggles, I can say that it's not a fun time, but when you lose control of it, that is something that needs to be held accountable for, because when it comes to situations like that, as you described, things tend to spiral out of control and become violent and dangerous for both individuals involved or one of the parties in particular, and it's extremely terrifying.
BPD is one of those mental illnesses that I feel like someone could wind up murdering their spouse just because they didn't wake up next to them one day because they had work to do online or some shit.
I know not every single person with that condition is like that, but with me suffering from anxiety, to the point to where it needs medication otherwise I start kind of freaking out when I'm alone for too long, that shit is one of the things I will freely admit I am 110% paranoid about is just being around someone with BPD for that exact reason.
Again, for anyone that might be trying to spark a comment war, I'm not saying all people with BPD acts like how you saw, some struggle with it quite a bit, others kind of deal with it almost like it's a walk in the park, but I can tell you this much, I understand that we all have a stereotype applied to you, and understand that just like anybody who isn't aware of a mental health condition and only has stereotypes to go off of, you're going to have to wind up explaining things to the person you're trying to date or have a romantic interest in so that you don't drive them off.
That's not being an ass, that's not being able to or whatever the hell kind of terms someone can throw my way, I'm just simply stating a truth here
@@TheRaven-WingGamingi dont blame you for feeling the way you do, i was recently diagnosed with bpd but i dated a girl with it for 3 years and im pretty sure that was hardship that triggered the disorder in me. i loved her but she would never fully take advantage of all the many opportunities she was given to get help and improve. because of that, no matter how much of myself i dedicated to helping her, it only got worse. it was a genuinely terrifying thing to watch and has changed me beyond complete repair
It's true, bpd is impossible for the people who love the sufferer
Same here. Everything you said is true. In my case it was 4 years.
Definitely the worst period of my life. She got diagnosed after we broke up.
Its sad not many people are informed and quickly categorize themselves, other people or their relationships as "toxic" and move on.
At least you smashed bro
Thank you for being kind about BPD, Charlie. A lot of people aren't. And certainly not in such a public way. My own BPD journey was never this intense, but even so, the pain of this disorder is excruciating. It doesn't excuse the behavior associated with it, of course. But it can inform one's understanding of it. The guy in these messages is a gem. ❤
As a curiosity, when you had BPD episodes, the catalyst for it would eb completely random? Or it would depend more on how you were as a person. F.e: In this case, the girl is clearly very egotitical and toxic, which lead to a very abrupt episode of "I'm the center of the world and everything that didn't go as I wanted deserves the worst" attitude. I say this cause I have a family member that has a low grade of BPD, and when he has episodes he just becomes a more exaegrated version of himself (specially in his negative traits). But him being normally quite a nice guy, the episodes are often just midly problematic. He just gets angrier and has less patience.
Yeah it's a double standard because the weirdo in this case is a woman, so ofc there's a ton of sympathy and understanding. But men with BPD who act this way are treated with a lot more hostility.
@@simonsalgueiro6217 I can offer my experience if you'd like. I'm a male who was diagnosed at 17. It's not really that the triggers are "random" per se, but rather extreme sensitivity. So, for example, I often feel close to crying when I'm made fun of even if it's just a mild joke. To a normal person, that might mean that they feel a little hurt and move on. To me, it often feels like a severe betrayal/the end of that friendship. I would often use anger as a way to protect myself from the fear of being made fun of further if I were to cry. So, what may be a mild annoyance to a normal person would ruin someone with BPD's mood for a few hours or maybe even days. It's a real struggle.
If a man did this he would be labeled a psycho and no consideration would be had lol
@@MrJames1034 I think this is an important note! I'm a male diagnosed with BPD, and there is certainly a lot less compassion and understanding with social norms. But I don't believe that Charlie or this commenter are having this double standard necessarily. I just think that because it's far less diagnosed in males, it's very difficult to know when a dude has a serious problem because they seek mental health far less often. I believe Charlie would be kind and sympathetic to the person in these texts as well if the genders were swapped.
I actually happen to have a girlfriend with BPD who I love very much. We’ve had our struggles here and there and often times I was unsure as to how our relationship would turn out. She’s very gradually making good progress and I see that she has the power to overcome her mental health issues at some point. She hasn’t ever come across the same way as the girl from these messages and it makes me realize how proud I am of her. Standing her ground and pushing against rather unfavourable odds. Glad I saw this and I’m wishing the girl from these messages the best of luck.
I feel the struggle brother. She is the most amazing woman Ive ever met but sometimes she really just knows how to hurt. I dont mind struggling for the future together tho
Can you people please not reproduce.
holy fuck guys please ive been looking for other people who are in the same situation as me for a while and its so damn difficult to find support for this stuff. me and my gf have been together for almost two years now and shes shown so much progress with her bpd and narcissism and im so fucking proud of her, but when she gets manic its terrifying and the worst thing is she cant know that im scared. please if you guys know of any support groups for partners of people w bpd or npd please tell me itd be so appreciated. people often misinterpret people with these disorders when all they really need is someone solid that can take everything they say and do in the moment, because when they are finally out of their mania they are the sweetest most loving and compassionate person you could imagine
anyway just love people with bpd and npd they deserve it, ALSO THEIR SIGNIFIANT OTHERS NEED DOWNTIME LET US COMPLAIN AND DONT JUST SAY "wow theyre toxic and mean" NO SHIT THEY HAVE THE DIAGNOSIS TO PROVE IT SHITHEAD 😭
@@hopelessarguments sorry I really am not a person who often talks about anything under surface level so I haven't really ever looked. That was the first time for me opening up a little bit 🤣. It's a struggle but so is life anyways so what's a little challenge on the mental gonna do. Good luck my guy.
One day, you will learn to stop defending her and suffer alone. You will tolerate her behavior for as long as you have hope. The relation won’t go back to what it was at the beginning. I was hurt so bad, don’t fall in their trap. I even had 2 kids with her.
Lowkey that guy just is a chill guy