Lol! Me too! I put on Cass's "Get up and be awesome" video every morning while I do chores before work: ruclips.net/video/SdzPvaaLTuI/видео.htmlsi=yCvvC_YNFAw4LlBJ
ADHD burnout is so real and we are often a jack of all trades and master of some. I tend to over do joining in on the things I enjoy. My interests provide motivation. When I get here I have to let go of some stuff and then work on accomplishing getting stuff off my plate. I find a body double to work through the grading (I'm a teacher). I find a movie for white noise. Keeps my attention, but it’s not new seen it a million times, boosts dopamine a bit. I can continue to work. I get up periodically and walk around as my break. It helps!
Cas!!! Giiirrrllll! You are speaking directly to my soul! I feel soooo exhausted and overwhelmed right now! I work 7 days a week - I run my own full time company, work a part time job at my church, run a small nonprofit for kids with disabilities and I'm taking a certification course for children's ministry. There are things in my personal life taking extra time right now. I have fallen off of the TYHB wagon, and my house is a total WRECK - again. No one seems to get how tired I am, and I was feeling like the victim every time someone commented on my messy office or the messy table or whatever. I would immediately point out what I have on my plate and point out how they weren't helping or comment on their messy areas. Not healthy at all! So - thank you thank you thank you for being my motivational hero! I've always been inspired by you, but today you said just what I needed! I took a day off today because of a skull crushing migraine. It's the first day in months I've even had time to watch a video. I'm so glad I clicked on this one. Hugs from Pennsylvania! 😘❤
Thank you for being real. The reason most of us follow you is because you're a ray of sunshine, but no one can be that way 24/7. It's relatable to see that all of us have bad days and bad mindsets that are hard to shake. Life can be so overwhelming and it makes it worse when we are surrounded by social media that suggest most people are perfect and happy when realistically it is much more complicated than that
Glad to see your video. As a solo parent with a deployed husband-child, I'm not finding this to be awesome approach (treat others) to treat how you wish to be treated in general society, but we can only control ourselves. I find the opposite, if I actually ask someone for help (which is a huge thing for this DIYer), I get nothing (silence), but I jump at the chance to help others and offer help. I feel like I am choosing the wrong people.
@@amandajohnson2850 I hear you. That's unfortunately a symptom of our selfish society. But I personally feel that treating others NOT in the way you want to be treated is not going to result in a better outcome. I personally feel that at the very least I can hold my head up high knowing that I treated others well. I also find that if you consistently treat your nearest and dearest well, they will become kinder in turn (if they were not). Unless you are married to a sociopath but in that case I'd run 🤣 Treating someone well doesn't mean doing stuff for them all the time either. Or expecting others to do stuff for you. As outlined in the video, you do it for yourself even if others don't help (without being passive aggressive over other people not helping). It's primarily about not being nasty about it and making others feel like they are terrible - over time people are more likely to chip in, especially if you ask nicely for help. If neither of you start you'll end up at a dead end. So the point is, if you do it for yourself rather than looking at it like you are picking up other people's slack you may find the whole experience less stressful. (Also, you have to make sure you only take on for other people what you can do)
I want to give you a hug! As an older woman who has been in your situation, I have some advice. Although I love your positive attitude and being motivated is a good thing, YOU can’t do it all! You need help! Since you are working and bringing in an income, please consider hiring some help. I have a cleaning woman who comes every other week. She has transformed my life. And I have to thank my husband (now deceased) who was the one who recognized the need. And your kids need some kind of reward or motivation to pick up (so the cleaning woman can clean!). Please consider it. You can do a lot by yourself can’t do everything. 🤗
Half way through your video I put you on pause and went and did a five minute tidy up in two of my rooms and collected all the trash from around the house - thanks for the motivation.
People are more important than aggressive animals ! A rescue cat scratched me in the eye while I was sleeping ! Called animal control after many other cat attacks on company
You and the minimal mom are my favorite RUclipsrs. That being said, I think you got the motivation on Sunday BECAUSE you laid in bed all day on Saturday and did nothing. This message of constant motivation - PUSH PUSH PUSH - do more, more more - decorate for each holiday... is not healthy for people.
It’s called “burnout”. New teachers go through this in their first 5 years of teaching. You have a lot going on and your careers are important to you. Don’t forget to take time for yourself.
The choices are not “do everything” vs “nag ceaselessly”. You all need to assign tasks and consequences for doing or not doing the tasks. You have a valid point about leading by example, but you cannot count on having enough energy to do all the chores every day and still work, study, and have time to relax. This will lead to burnout.
No one helps because many of us become their safety nets. We do it all. We are the process so why would anyone lift a finger to help? Ask for help and let them know how you are feeling. No excuses for the ungrateful. Bless you for such a giving heart. ❤️
Lots of cat play- wand with dangling string for that hunting instinct and bonding. Problem solving toys, balls and little mice, platforms to jump between, hide treats for him to hunt down, tunnel, things to throw d=so he can chase or find, hide out spots and lots of love and his terms. You are the best Cas for giving Mr. Bojangles a family!!!!
Agreed. We've got one who used to be feral until he got TNR'ed and decided that we were adopting him. He's still young, tons of energy, and playing with him helps a lot. Plus I have a spot where I can set up his favorite toy on a string so that he can play with it by himself when I need to get something done.
Try treating Mr. Bojangles like a dog let him out to use the facilities and let him back in. Perhaps a cat door so he can let himself in and out. I have two Siamese. Have you ever seen lady and the tramp? the part where they sing ”we are Siamese if you please” that’s what I have. My new thing now is to throw treats across the room so they chase the treats. They’re getting their exercise and their treats, but it’s constant. We are constantly playing with them, we have toys all over the house that we throw and they chased to distract them when they’re trying to get out. We also take them out with supervision. Good luck ps catnip is the worst. It just makes them insane if they weren’t insane enough.
Setting a timer is key! When my girls were young teens, I went on strike from laundry and making dinner. I told them and my husband that I would teach them how to do their own laundry and that they were each responsible for two dinners a week...I would do the shopping. To this day, they are grateful that I taught them how to fend for themselves. Doing their own laundry lasted until they lwwft home...making dinner not so much but to be fair, they had activities out of the house. Teaching them to cook early on proved so valuable when they went to college and lived on their own.
Thank you for this idea. That's great. I wish my mum did this. Leaving home for the first time AND need to learn all of this at the same time was very overwhelming for me. I'll teach my little girl early like you did. ❤👍
This world was built on the backs of women's unpaid labor and mental load. My husband wouldn't have been able to do a lot of things, including building his career, enjoying his hobbies, traveling, etc. I used to feel used and resentful (ok, so maybe I still do), but I turned it around and realized how awesome I am. My work family and my home family benefit from my awesomeness. It's hard to realize that nobody is coming to save or help me, but it's also empowering knowing that I'm my own hero. Thanks for another great video!
My first thought was “Why is the correct response to do more when everyone is doing less?” but then the overall message hit and I found the “why”. Great video.
When our children learned to crawl, they helped put their toys into the toy box. When they walked, I added helping Mommy put dishes in the dishwasher. Since they couldn't reach the top rack, when they were napping, I'd move top rack things so they wouldn't think they did it wrong. I continued adding small chores that fit their abilities as they grew older. They each had a clothing hamper in their room. It was their responsibility to put their dirty clothing in it. If it wasn't in the hamper on laundry day, it didn't get washed. A couple of years later they were responsible for taking their hangers to the laundry room. By 5th grade, they were doing their own laundry. I also started a file card system where we each, me too, had a file care for each day of the week but Sunday. The rule was homework and housework before anything else. I never had any issue with getting help because they grew up thinking that was part of life. It also teaches them how to take care of themselves once on their own.
Hey Cas. Just wanted you to know that YOU are my hero! When I'm feeling "over my threshold", I find one of your podcasts and get to gittin'. You have such a wonderfully calm speaking voice - it can almost immediately put me in positive frame of mind. You, Dawn from a Minimal Mom, and Dane White have literally changed how I look at my house *and* myself. I am NOT broken! I CAN do great things a few minutes at a time. So - thank you. Thanks for your zen voice, your excited voice, your yelling voice, your incredibly real voice. Thank you for putting yourself out there to show us overwhelmed folks that there is hope. Just letting you know.
"BIM-BAM-BOOM'S your Uncle." I love you, Cass! As a Christian, this video resonates! Thank you for the inspiration & self awareness and humility!! I love when you do videos like this. The only thing I would add bc of my faith in Jesus is that my worth, your worth, our collective worth as women is so much more than our roles as homemakers, wives, and moms. Those jobs are monumentally important BUT our true value is from God. Which alleviates a lot of the stress to be perfect. ❤
I know your kids are older, but chore chart all the way. I use one for my 15 and 9 year-olds. At the end of the week they get their allowance. Maybe also have a family meeting and saying you really need help at this time because of everything + the holidays. I’m sure they will be understanding.
I saw something online that went a step further where the whole amily (kids and both parents) didn't have a chore chart but a "Share the mental load" chart where they had their names in rows and then a column called "I noticed: ____" (for them to fill out, eg "I noticed: the dishwasher had finished its cycle", then the next column "So I: ____" (eg. "So I: put the dishes away). I think that's better because it trains people to see what needs to be done rather than still making it Mom's Job to allocate tasks.
Zello app serves as an interactive chore chart everyone can see and update on real time, assign, check off, and even ask and answer questions ("Mom, where's the new bottle of Dawn?") You can also assign urgency level and who's doing each one (or even seek volunteers).
@ericarutter7770 GREAT. EXCEPT - don't say *YOU* need help. This is their house, too. Say that you've been helping them all these years bc they were little, but now they're bigger and can help take care of their own laundry and food, at least more. You have a job and can't do all the family's needs; each has to help the family and themselves. Get them ready for life! You'll help them when you can, bc you love them, but it's a gift of love, not taking care of helpless little children anymore.
I’ve been hospitalized a few times over the past few years. When I’d get home, my flowers outside were all dying. No carpets were clean. Laundry was backed up. Paper plates were used instead of plates. Food was molding in the fridge. When I die, life will go on for whoever is left behind. It helped me realize I was honestly the only one who cares how the house looks. Rather than be overwhelmed, I’m pretty chill about my chores now. I am a neat freak, but I don’t expect that from my family.
Mr Bojangles might need some sort of outside secure cat run. Would make a great video 😅. Been begging my husband for an outdoor cat run for years. Still begging. Need to learn construction myself obviously. Save myself!!! great video.
I’m thinking the next time even if you are going away for a week hopefully not the hospital call Merry Maids. I came home from major surgery and nothing was done…. I’m real tired but I think I’ll do this next time. I don’t have a lot of money but I will set it aside .
The only reason they don't care is because they have you to do it and well bottom line are lazy and ungrateful. Sadly when you are truly gone is when they will see how valuable you were.
You are awesome!!! Don't forget that!!! The reason they don't help you is because you do it all, they don't feel they have to worry about you becuae you always get stuff done and always adapt. It's a terrible cycle we have done to ourselves , people don't offer or think sometimes because it is hard for them to see the rock , the go getter, the do it aller is having trouble. Getting down, needing just some sort of assistance and when we do ask or nag or freak out, oh we're just being dramatic. Remember, listen to your older podcasts, you are the most important, your are amazeballs and you can do this. Need a break take one, do what you can for you, because YOU deserve to be happy. Hopefully people realize that giving a little help is sometimes the most important thing they can do ❤ and don't forget to high five yourself 🖐
Thank you for this. For one, I needed to hear this. 2. Just when I thought all the youtubers had everything together, I now feel like Im not alone. This has made me feel better about struggling. 3. You're absolutely right about "Motivation is contagious'. As soon as I cleaned out my wardrobe, my kids and husband did the same. Thanks for everything you do Cas. ❤❤
Chat advice: you could always try a cat door. But the secret is cat toys. Lots and lots of cat toys. He needs stimulation to calm the wildness. I have a cat that refuses to calm down too. The little cheapie cat toys that are a little plastic ball with a bell in it, I own dozens of them because they disappear under furniture constantly. he will bat them around the house for hours and because they roll away from him. It stimulates that desire to hunt. Laser pointers are also great. We think about walking dogs but we forget cats need exercise and stimulation too. 😊 good luck with your wild man! And thank you for the pep talk. Was feeling down today and this really helped
I agree with all of this! I put in a cat door for my multiple cats and it has been amazing. They do still use the litter box inside strangely but there is much less drama since they go outside. Mine love the little balls with the bells inside too. Take him to the vet once a year to get his shots, that will protect him from a lot of nasty viruses that cats can get. Also I’m assuming he’s spayed/neutered (I can’t ever remember which is which 😂) but if not you definitely need to have that done, that also makes a huge difference in their temperament, especially boys. ❤
Agree with both of these posts! Your boy is still a little wild/feral, but he WILL calm down. Definitely have him neutered if he’s not already, that will help. It also sounds like he may still be pretty young? That makes a difference too. It does seem like he truly wants to be inside, and truly that’s the best/safest way to ensure he doesn’t get hurt again. Be patient with him. He will adjust and the craziness will subside. If he gets crazy at night, just close your bedroom doors so he won’t be able to disturb you while you sleep. Get him toys to bat around. Mine really like toy mice that make squeaky sounds. The balls are fun too. I also have an automatic laser pointer toy from Amazon. There are sprays you can get that will deter him from scratching certain things. I got some from Walmart when my cat was acting up. Just bear with him! He will settle down once he’s used to being completely indoors 😊
Don't forget that cats need company. There are cats who prefer being single cats, of course, but most cats need a second cat to feel good. It's a necessity for them.
It definitely sounds like the cat wants to be an indoor cat and most cats are more active at night because that’s when they do the most hunting. I think he’s waking at night because he wants the family’s company. It shows how much he loves you all 🥰
I needed this video yesterday! However, i would lay down the law with kindness: "these chores are yours and the consequences for not doing them is xyz." Because moms need sanity and civilization needs ppl (current teens) who have the ability to step up and work for the things wanted with out expectations that someone else owes it to them
Your kids are old enough to do their own washing. Dishwasher and stuff like that you need a roster with the kids having turns. It will set them up well for when they leave home.
Thank you. If you wanted this video to reach just one, it did. I have been stuck in a rut since my brother passed in February and this has helped me take a step forward. I got up, washed my hair and used the time between wet and drying it to clean my bathroom sink. 5 minutes. I normally would craw back in bed and feel bad, run out of time and go out looking messy. The 5 minutes has set me off on a different course today and even if it is just this morning, I appreciate it.
Cass, you don't know what you just did for me! I spent all of yesterday wasting time and all morning this morning wasting time! I have a candy making business and I need to do so much work but I was feeling frozen and didn't know what to do first. So I started listening to you and I'm on a good roll now and I am so grateful. Thanks for getting me started!
She definitely said her family should and needs to help, but the video is about ways to motivate YOURSELF and get things done regardless of what everyone else is/ isn't doing. Thanks once again Cas!
Just when I think you're going to run out of things to share, you share something that continues to inspire us! Love you Cass, you are an amazing human being 💞Thank you, for being you!
1. You’re amazing 2. So impressed with where this video started and ended up 3. You have earned the right to bring in a house keeper, maybe once a month for the deeper cleaning. When was younger I was judgy about that. Now I say if it helps your sanity and you can afford it, do it. 4. I think your cat needs more play. I’ve had 2 high energy cats that were too smart for MY good. The struggle is real! Try a cat running wheel or maybe some automated toys that go on and off automatically. I keep my cats in a designated area at night or they would sleep on my head.
I remember you did a video quite a long time about “doing it for yourself” and that truly stuck with me and it’s some of the best advice you’ve given! I do feel hurt at times when my family seems to take everything I do for granted but you’re right in saying feeling sorry for yourself won’t do anything but make you spiral 🌀 in negativity. When I’m exhausted at the end of each day and dreading cleaning the kitchen, I tell myself that I deserve to wake up to a clean kitchen and that future me will thank me, and that (usually) does the trick :) Thanks for all of the great advice, Cass! You’re the best ❤
Cass, I am happy to see that you are finding better balance in your life. BUT that doesn't mean that your family should expect you to still do it all while you are working extra on your goals. You don't need to be a nag. They pick up after themselves or they lose a privilege until it's done, like take away their cell phones or TV, or no going out with friends. Explain to them that it is their responsibility to clean up after themselves. It always has been! Being a slob is unacceptable and they need to learn this life skill. My 17-year-old sons know this well because I've taught this to them their whole lives. You aren't putting your "work" of cleaning up the house onto them. They are responsible for their personal areas, as well as helping in all family areas because that's their contribution to the family and home. Best wishes, Cass!
Absolutely agree. What makes her have to do all the housework, even though she has a full time job too. Seems inconsiderate of the family. Grateful for my husband
When I was 15 and my mum had just had my brother, she was 35, she had her friend round and she had a bit of a meltdown telling her friend that she has 4 daughters and we don’t help her ever. We had spent our whole childhood not being allowed to help our mother as our dad told us it was her job!! I felt annoyed that I would help more if I’d been allowed. The friend tried to tell us we should help more! Soon shut her up!!! From that day on I started doing my own washing and helping with the other kids when I wasn’t at school. To have my brother she spent 4 months in hospital due to health issues. I had to shop, cook our dads dinner and get the younger two sisters clothes ready for school for 4 months beforehand! It was 45 years ago so shopping wasn’t quite so easy and there were no mobile phones etc. Moral of the story is teach your kids to help around the house so certain chores are always theirs, it’s kinder believe me!! At 16 your kids can get married in the UK so they’re old enough to clean their rooms and do the dishes and learn to cook, boys and girls alike!!!!! Just saying!!
So true!!! At that age i did all of that for my self and also my brothers and sister. My room was my space so i had to keep it clean, also wash my clothes and learn basic cooking skills 😉. It’s NOT only mom’s work, it’s everybody’s job to keep a home clean and confortable for everyone ❤
I really appreciate that you're giving voice to all the emotional labor women do that goes unnoticed. I would love to recommend "Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward" by Gemma Hartley. I read this book with my husband and while I wouldn't say it was marriage changing, it was incredibly eye opening and such a relief to know that I was not alone in all the feelings of resentment and frustration. My husband still needs reminders sometimes but he has taken a more active role in household duties. Hope this helps someone!
I think you're missing the point. Sounds like you're still trying to change your husband instead of changing your thinking which is what she is saying.
@cajbaf I agree with the video's overall point of positivity being more effective than negativity. I choose to have a relationship that has open lines of communication about fair division of labor, housework and stress. A pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality is only going to be effective for so long before you will get burnt out again. The point is not to change your husband - it's to develop a strong foundation with healthy communication about all aspects of your relationship - meaning domestic tasks do not need to fall predominantly on one spouse (including in times of stress as she is describing here).
Loved this and the message you are sending to us. As a mom, I too feel that no one else sees the mess I see. But I have also gone and done my kids chores because I also see them trying to juggle all the things and not be able to get it all done. And they have always been very appreciative of it. Teach by example, and love by serving. It is empowering.
Cas, your videos are always so inspirational! Thank you! I can at times dip into the victim mentality due to overwhelm and never feeling seen, because I do it all or at least try to! I love your concept of making the decision… are you a victim or a hero. A HERO!!! Such a shift! As for your cat, I always heard that when you neuter a cat, he tends to “calm down” and be more mellow. I have a kitten that hasn’t been fixed yet, so I can’t tell you first experience. But do talk to your vet about it. Also, we do use spray bottle with water when our kitty goes on counters or tries to scratch furniture. But then take him to the scratching post and when he starts scratching it we praise the behavior giving a treat. Another thing we got that he loves are cat puzzles. Perhaps more ways to entertain him. When my kitten tries to bite me (playfully but hurts) I say a loud NO. So he knows I did not like it. Hope this helps!
This seems very counterintuitive. When you’re overwhelmed (maybe overworked), work harder? Someone who advocates for themselves is not a victim. The person who quietly toils away is a victim. Everyone in a household needs to do their part as a matter of course. ✌️🙂
I once spoke to a counsellor during extreme burnout and adrenal fatigue around 4 years ago. He said to me, "This will sound counterintuitive, but I'm going to ask you to put a couple more things on your plate. I want you to do something everyday that feels GOOD. We can agree that where you're at now, isn't sustainable, and putting more on your to do list can't be long term. But just for now, you have to give yourself things that will nourish you, while you're doing so much that is taking from you." He was right, it worked! I was shocked too 😅 That's how I see what Cass's done above. She's added things to her plate, but it's made her feel GOOD, and inadvertently reset the whole house, while creating an energy that everyone will notice and naturally imitate, because her new joy will be contagious to them. They'll wanna feel it too. She also spoke about communicating the needs in a healthy way, so no suffering in silence :)
I got to a point that I was resentful, because my expectations are high... But that is unfair to others. I decided to take action because I deserve a clean (fill in the blank). So I started cleaning like it was just me in the house. If it's just me, I would clean up my own messes, leaves on the floor, mess on the counter, etc.... I do explain my frustration to my family members, but at the end of the day, I do deserve a clean home and my sanity. Thank you for being real! ❤
Instead of expressing your frustration, you might try telling your family outright that you are feeling overwhelmed. They need to know you are human. Then try asking them if they would help with something specific, like the dishes or the laundry. I have found that working with children and teenagers is very effective (as long as you don't criticize). They like the company. If there is a dad in your home, he can work with them, too.
Omg I needed this. I’m trying not to cry because I relate so much. I’ve been so overwhelmed and alone in how out of order my entire home and business has been for so long. Now I just want to put this video on loop and clean everything.
Cas!!! I WAS NOT PREPARED TO TEAR UP watching your video. Go you for not wallowing in a victim mentality. I feel like this type of mindset is so rare. This was so inspiring to watch 😭❤️
I really needed this! Thanks for stopping and doing this video! Mom is the heart of the home. It takes more energy and is more draining to complain and yell rather than getting up and doing something.
@@loriherring8110 Once the family gets used to being responsible and there are systems in place, yelling or begging won't be necessary. Set the systems in place and don't give up. Don't let them wear you down and convince you that it's more effort to get them to help. A clean house is everyone's job.
Your videos are my motivation! A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I was stressed and overwhelmed because of my messy, cluttered house. I decided to change that. I did a ton of decluttering (and still have more to do), and I feel a weight has been lifted off of me. I feel more relaxed and like I can breathe! I am actually looking forward to the next decluttering projects! I found your videos, and they have such great information and motivation for me. ❤
I only found you today. My goodness this video was exactly what I needed to hear. Goodness me it cut straight to my heart and eyes welled. Thank you for making this, I so needed to hear it. I will rewatch this many times, just what I needed to hear. I can’t tell you how helpful it is to hear other mums are feeling this way. Just wow and thank you
We rescued our cat from outside…so she is not an indoor cat! We let her out during the day and she does the same thing! She climbs the screen door to come inside. We give her lots of climbing things, toys, scratchers, and a window shelf. We have considered a chicken coop attached to the house to let her have an outdoor but contained space. Way to motivate and fill me with positivity!
How did you know I needed this video so much. I have wanted to cry for days because I hate the mess my house is in. I can't seem to get anything done and I am exhausted. Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone and I can do this. You my friend are my motivational speaker. We can do this!
I’m overwhelmed but I’m also dealing with chronic health issues. I need my family to consistently step up and contribute because they live in this house too. I have to continue to ask and nag because I need help.
Yeah I'm with you here. It's great to recognize our mindsets and sometimes we also need more resources. If the spouse is drowning they need to speak up or step up or together we should seek help if needed.
Nagging is a sign your nervous system needs attention and your boundary has been violated. (Boundary that you didn't make this mess alone or you are being asked to do the job of more than 1 person without being consulted first).
Do you say, I need “help” or do you give them specifics? All people are different, but I’ve found if I ask for specifics I got more help. “I can’t do it all, you need to help more” got me nowhere. “Can you vacuum the living room while I fix dinner?” got me more help.
You are absolutely correct. Positive thinking is key to achievement and healthy mental being. Might I suggest that you take the time to meet with the family and share this experience. Even though you lead by example, it might be good to create a list to share responsibilities so you don’t end up in the same place again. Great message.
I live by myself and it's easy to say ' I can do that tomorrow'. You are my motivator!! Thanks for being honest and sharing your tips. Just do it for 5 mins can really get you started. Thanks and God bless you.
When my husband makes the tiniest unusual effort, like he randomly cleans a ceiling fan, then I get so excited to clean the rest of the ceiling fans, because it brings it to my attention that it matters to him. And I feel like maybe that’s what’s happening with your family. It brings it to their attention that the state of their room or their bathroom genuinely matters to someone more than just themselves
What a good sign that your cat actually fights to get in. A wild behaviour can partly come from being stressed by being outside - we seldom know what they encounter. You simply have to take him in fully in to your hearts and see him as a full part of the family and someone with his own needs that has to be considered in the equation. Create high and low spaces. See this as his new and only landcape. And stop to play with him in a way that he can get some energy out. Be with him. Talk to him. Etc. The more you stop what you are doing and meet him and do things together and hang out the less he has to fight for his space and getting his needs fulfilled. Congratulations on having the opportunity to live with such enegetic cat. The more you meet him the more he's able to provide you with joy, energy and quietness.
It sounds like high stress, high energy is his problem. There are lots of stimulating activities and toys for pets with high energy. Check those out. As for stress, create "safe" spaces. Many cats will create their own spots, (not always where we want them.) If worse comes to worse with his behavior, there are meds, over the counter as well as prescription to help him deal with this new life style.
Kindness yes, putting them on a pedestal no. Cats and dogs are pets, not children. You can't treat them like they have the same level of rationality and decision making skills as a human. They should not be allowed to have free access to the entire house. They need their own space, whether outdoors or indoors.
Excellent video! I’ve had several cats and three of them are former ferals. The older they get the more they will calm down. In the meantime, I have a large screened porch with a cat door outside. These cats are too used to being outside, so they are indoor outdoor cats. Overtime, they learn that they are fed and safe at my place, so they gradually acclimated. One still won’t let me near him after a couple years, but baby steps. Another lives in front of my house, but comes in occasionally. I put her in her own room at night when it’s cold so she doesn’t have to deal with the others. The third now older, but lives on the porch and backyard with no more wandering and comes in by choice at times. The harder to acclimate them, depends on how long they were in the “wild “. Hang in there, they are worth the effort!
Long ago I learned that if my needs aren’t being met, I need to communicate them more clearly and that also means communicating them before I am desperate and resentful. If I am being a witch, that doesn’t make people want to help me. People aren’t mind readers. Some days it means saying, I need a hug. Some days it means saying if I’m not home by 5 o’clock can you take dinner out of the oven. Earlier this year I was facing health challenges, I talked to my partner and told him I was so stressed that I couldn’t deal with my health issues and politics, it was making me crazy. For the better part of a year now he has shielded me from political stresses at home. All it took was really communicating what I needed and how serious it was for me.
I could not pin point what was keeping me stuck until after watching this video. I've had so much on my plate with starting school while feeling like everyone's go-to for help. I was feeling ungrateful and keeping score. This also led me to blow smoke in an ungraceful way while doing the tasks I used to enjoy. You're right, I think we all can feel overwhelmed, but doing our part the best we can could bless our families. I want to be a pleasant wife and mother who doesn't paralyze herself from my mindset. The Bible speaks of us renewing our minds and I can see how that ripples into everything we do. So from now on I hope to test these principles and not be ruled by my circumstances.
For mr. Bow jangles, a pheromone plug in or several, calming treats you can add to his food, getting him fixed if he's not, getting him a little kitten friend (might be risky but the pheromone plug ins help get cats comfy with each other), there also cat doors that you can lock remotely or on a timer so he can go outside for a while and it will lock when he comes back in for the night.
Cas you are amazing! Thank you for this reminder to end the woe-is-me party and get things done. As for the cat, perhaps you can put a cat door in the garage and let him come and go in there during the day? I have a friend who does this with her covered patio for a feral they rescued. It seems to work well for them. They got a pet door that only opens for their pets since it is programmed for the chip the vet put in them in case they get lost.
Oh, and I saw on Amazon the other day a big cat wheel. It looked like a hamster wheel but a lot bigger. Perhaps he would use one of those to burn some energy, especially once it gets really cold there and you need to keep him inside more.
Went through something very similar the last 2 months myself. Small projects helped massively in making me feel proud of accomplishing something. Helped with swapping to positive thinking again.
Cat issue. I found that cats attack people while feeling unsafe. They need to be on high elevations. That’s why many owners create cat gyms… platforms on the wall, old drawers, bridges, caves, etc for them to climb and jump and hide in. Including toys to bat around and bite. Some have installed real trees to climb up on toward high shelves and runways along the ceiling. Awesome advice as always to do just a little. Much like taking one strep at a time to get to the finish line. It’s only your race when no one joins you. You’re awesome.
I love this philosophy Cass, and I needed to hear it just now. It’s a great reminder to check the victim mentality at the door and move toward taking care of yourself and still accomplishing tasks. This applies to so many aspects in life…like when your significant other ignores you over his parents because of worry - don’t be a victim - do something nourishing for yourself and then you have a higher tolerance for others. Thank you for your inspiring videos and humor- I LOVE your humor!
I'm gonna go around today saying out loud "I'm a hero!" I woke up overwhelmed so this was perfect timing! It's just my husband and I but I have over 20 years of boxes halfway up the walls 🙄 i've had kids and other relatives move in and out, and I had to shift my space a lot. I also came from a hoarding/keep and use everything farm mentality. I lost my momentum recently, so I appreciate your timing. Also I miss my kids 😢They are 32 and 33 and out of state soon to be out of country. So even though they're messy, appreciate them while you've got them close to home ❤
@@everising4999 My mom has that keep it all mentality and then gets overwhelmed. When I was at her house this weekend I had a half empty trash sack and started throwing away old food from shelves. She won’t do it but won’t mind me doing it. I need more weekends with her! My son lives states away and I would love to help them clean now and then because they are both engineers and super busy. It’s nice to see them when I can. 💙
My aunt recently became disabled at 45. Her 5 (FIVE) children, 3 of whom are now adults, are so used to having her do everything for them, they dumped her at my Grandma's and hardly do anything for her at all now, even monetarily. Love your children, appreciate them, and ABOVE ALL teach them to be in the habit of caring for others, not just themselves. 💔
Hi Cas, I'm addressing your cat question at the end. Cats are nocturnal so they tend to be up at night - that's when they roam and hunt. One showed up at our house and the same thing happened. After numerous vet bills, we finally decided to let him be outside during the day but inside at night, so around 10:30, we put him up in the front part of the house and close the door. Otherwise, he would come in the bedroom and pounce on us when we were sleeping. This way, he has several rooms the he can choose to sleep in and his litter box and water bowl are there. He prefers go out to do his business. First thing in the morning, I go open the door, let him out, he eats in the kitchen, and then he heads to the side door to go out for the day. He also uses the dog door, so when he wants to come in, he can. Love your videos and how inspiring you are! You make me get up and do stuff so a huge thank you.
First, thank you for your videos. You are my go to to get things started/done. I am a self diagnosed ADHD senior. You are really helping me navigate retirement, which is harder than i thought since there are no schedules. Second, I'm so glad Mr. B was trying to get back in the house, that's a great sign. We had a feral cat, they need lots of play and time. Thanks for giving him a home.❤
I definitely needed this!! I'm disabled and also the only one who works from home in my house so i usually end up doing a lot of cleaning tasks even if it hurts me but I feel like getting my partner and cousin to help is hard. But we all have adhd (ALSO a disability) and they're not doing it maliciously. I already make conscious effort to try and manage my negative reaction to that, but this reminded me to really try harder and to continue communicating with them.
It's great that you were able to turn it around yourself. I don't think it's realistic to say those are "your needs" and "nobody helps me" because it makes it sound as if the whole house is a place that you alone use and all the chores are a result of just you, alone, using things and living in the house. It's their house too, they use it daily too, so it's not just your needs, and its not that you need help, the house needs help, the house that everyone likes to use especially after someone else has cleaned it all up. I know you said that you recognize that your family needs to help more and that's good, but it might help to reframe and reflect on the "why" they need to help, and its not just because you need it, they need it too even if they aren't the ones nagging.
It really helped me to hear this! I fall into the same trap of expecting everyone to do their part and being disappointed when they don’t. When I can shift my thinking to doing things because it makes Me happy to have them done changes everything. 😊
this feels like what i did to try to fix my marriage i was so unhappy in. i felt helpless to get what i needed so i tried to take control and not need it, and tell myself it was working. ive been divorced for about a year now and feel so much better. convincing women that expecting the least bit from others is nagging or that you're a hero for quietly suffering is classic gaslighting. im so sorry you are doing it to yourself as i did.
Take care and congratulations on this new chapter in your life. I divorced a narcissist (and hoarder) a year ago. Never got help and when I offered to help him, I’d get told no as I wouldn’t do it right. He wasn’t a team player. Sending you a hug! ❤
Experienced vet tech hero here! Make inside more interesting than outside. Scratchers with different textures and angles in convenient spots. Da Bird toy is the shit. Treat scavenger hunt. Treat puzzles. Cat grass. Window spots. Best of luck.
I had chores as long as I can remember. When I was eight years old my mother had me ironing my clothes. I always emptied the dishwasher, and helped load it. I vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, all those things from the time I was very young. You prepare your children to be responsible adults when you have a chore list. I always had one for my son. No one is going to save you, you have to be proactive and have tough love.
Thank you for putting this out today. I hurt my back the other day, and it still bothers me. I was just feeling sorry for myself, so I watched this. Now I think I can get on with my day. I still hurt, but maybe I can do a little something, which will motivate me to do another little something.
I live alone. I only have myself to clean up after. I also have CPTSD and am in treatment, but there is only so much I can do in a day. I'm consistently working on my home and getting it back to how it used to be before I started experiencing these mental health concerns. Borrowing motivation works well for me a lot of the time. I find that if I call and talk to someone on the phone, I can get work done in just a few minutes. My home is cluttered from my mental issues, but it's better than it was--and each day I try to do something to help myself. Thank you for being human online and showing all of us that we're just people, with feelings and stresses and things we need to do that we hate. I won't quit if you won't!!
I am in a similar situation. Some days, I can hardly accomplish normal things. At the end of the day, I don't feel like washing just my own clothes or the dishes 😩 Then I get behind and stressed out!
I needed this! I've had a lot going on over the past year and felt as though I can't keep up with household tasks. It's hard to turn off the perfectionist in my brain, but this video helped me feel like it's okay to just make sure the dishwasher is loaded before bed and nothing else.
Omg Im here so early! This topic is so relatable I clicked so fast! My husband said this to me after I had a terrible fallout with a friend. I was so depressed and sad that I spiraled. I was so glad he said that to me because I’ve never been happier❤
I smiled when you said you watch youtube videos for motivation, because YOU are the youtuber I watch for my motivation!
Lol! Me too! I put on Cass's "Get up and be awesome" video every morning while I do chores before work: ruclips.net/video/SdzPvaaLTuI/видео.htmlsi=yCvvC_YNFAw4LlBJ
Me too!
Me three!
Here as well ❤
Me too
I’m a guy with ADHD and just get overwhelmed all the time. I’m a single parent and am studying too. You have no idea how much your videos help me.
I'm so glad to hear that!
Aww you're not alone 😊❤️ It is very overwhelming sometimes.
ADHD burnout is so real and we are often a jack of all trades and master of some. I tend to over do joining in on the things I enjoy. My interests provide motivation. When I get here I have to let go of some stuff and then work on accomplishing getting stuff off my plate. I find a body double to work through the grading (I'm a teacher). I find a movie for white noise. Keeps my attention, but it’s not new seen it a million times, boosts dopamine a bit. I can continue to work. I get up periodically and walk around as my break. It helps!
Yes! I love that we are a community that can help eachother and relate to eachother
"What if THEY'RE drowning" brought tears to my eyes. Made me think differently ❤
Cas!!! Giiirrrllll! You are speaking directly to my soul! I feel soooo exhausted and overwhelmed right now! I work 7 days a week - I run my own full time company, work a part time job at my church, run a small nonprofit for kids with disabilities and I'm taking a certification course for children's ministry. There are things in my personal life taking extra time right now. I have fallen off of the TYHB wagon, and my house is a total WRECK - again. No one seems to get how tired I am, and I was feeling like the victim every time someone commented on my messy office or the messy table or whatever. I would immediately point out what I have on my plate and point out how they weren't helping or comment on their messy areas. Not healthy at all! So - thank you thank you thank you for being my motivational hero! I've always been inspired by you, but today you said just what I needed! I took a day off today because of a skull crushing migraine. It's the first day in months I've even had time to watch a video. I'm so glad I clicked on this one. Hugs from Pennsylvania! 😘❤
Thank you for being real. The reason most of us follow you is because you're a ray of sunshine, but no one can be that way 24/7. It's relatable to see that all of us have bad days and bad mindsets that are hard to shake. Life can be so overwhelming and it makes it worse when we are surrounded by social media that suggest most people are perfect and happy when realistically it is much more complicated than that
Amen!
I will play this in the morning for my husband. I will let you know his response. Shhhh
@@Gilbreth3 lol❤
You are so real
Exactly,I've followed Cass for long time and she's real and herself regardless of RUclips trends ❤
“Holy Crap! I’m the energy leader in this house!” 💯
"I am giving what I wish I was getting" = I'm treating others how I want to be treated ❤❤❤❤ wow, the golden rule in action! thanks!
I thought that was a really good motivator. Never looked at it that way!
@thesupergreenjudy Me either!!!
Glad to see your video.
As a solo parent with a deployed husband-child, I'm not finding this to be awesome approach (treat others) to treat how you wish to be treated in general society, but we can only control ourselves. I find the opposite, if I actually ask someone for help (which is a huge thing for this DIYer), I get nothing (silence), but I jump at the chance to help others and offer help.
I feel like I am choosing the wrong people.
You are a hero woman❤
@@amandajohnson2850 I hear you. That's unfortunately a symptom of our selfish society. But I personally feel that treating others NOT in the way you want to be treated is not going to result in a better outcome. I personally feel that at the very least I can hold my head up high knowing that I treated others well.
I also find that if you consistently treat your nearest and dearest well, they will become kinder in turn (if they were not). Unless you are married to a sociopath but in that case I'd run 🤣 Treating someone well doesn't mean doing stuff for them all the time either. Or expecting others to do stuff for you. As outlined in the video, you do it for yourself even if others don't help (without being passive aggressive over other people not helping).
It's primarily about not being nasty about it and making others feel like they are terrible - over time people are more likely to chip in, especially if you ask nicely for help. If neither of you start you'll end up at a dead end. So the point is, if you do it for yourself rather than looking at it like you are picking up other people's slack you may find the whole experience less stressful.
(Also, you have to make sure you only take on for other people what you can do)
I want to give you a hug! As an older woman who has been in your situation, I have some advice. Although I love your positive attitude and being motivated is a good thing, YOU can’t do it all! You need help! Since you are working and bringing in an income, please consider hiring some help. I have a cleaning woman who comes every other week. She has transformed my life. And I have to thank my husband (now deceased) who was the one who recognized the need. And your kids need some kind of reward or motivation to pick up (so the cleaning woman can clean!). Please consider it. You can do a lot by yourself can’t do everything. 🤗
I'm 63. I agree!!
Half way through your video I put you on pause and went and did a five minute tidy up in two of my rooms and collected all the trash from around the house - thanks for the motivation.
Thanks for the idea! A five minute tidy up usually involves uprooting several cats but hey - belly rubs and a bag of trash??? WIn-win!
Woo hoo!!! ❤❤❤
People are more important than aggressive animals !
A rescue cat scratched me in the eye while I was sleeping ! Called animal control after many other cat attacks on company
Ditto!!
You and the minimal mom are my favorite RUclipsrs. That being said, I think you got the motivation on Sunday BECAUSE you laid in bed all day on Saturday and did nothing. This message of constant motivation - PUSH PUSH PUSH - do more, more more - decorate for each holiday... is not healthy for people.
It’s called “burnout”. New teachers go through this in their first 5 years of teaching. You have a lot going on and your careers are important to you. Don’t forget to take time for yourself.
The choices are not “do everything” vs “nag ceaselessly”. You all need to assign tasks and consequences for doing or not doing the tasks. You have a valid point about leading by example, but you cannot count on having enough energy to do all the chores every day and still work, study, and have time to relax. This will lead to burnout.
No one helps because many of us become their safety nets. We do it all. We are the process so why would anyone lift a finger to help? Ask for help and let them know how you are feeling. No excuses for the ungrateful. Bless you for such a giving heart. ❤️
Lots of cat play- wand with dangling string for that hunting instinct and bonding. Problem solving toys, balls and little mice, platforms to jump between, hide treats for him to hunt down, tunnel, things to throw d=so he can chase or find, hide out spots and lots of love and his terms. You are the best Cas for giving Mr. Bojangles a family!!!!
Yes! Wear him out!
Agreed. We've got one who used to be feral until he got TNR'ed and decided that we were adopting him. He's still young, tons of energy, and playing with him helps a lot. Plus I have a spot where I can set up his favorite toy on a string so that he can play with it by himself when I need to get something done.
Try treating Mr. Bojangles like a dog let him out to use the facilities and let him back in. Perhaps a cat door so he can let himself in and out. I have two Siamese. Have you ever seen lady and the tramp? the part where they sing ”we are Siamese if you please” that’s what I have. My new thing now is to throw treats across the room so they chase the treats. They’re getting their exercise and their treats, but it’s constant. We are constantly playing with them, we have toys all over the house that we throw and they chased to distract them when they’re trying to get out. We also take them out with supervision. Good luck ps catnip is the worst. It just makes them insane if they weren’t insane enough.
Setting a timer is key! When my girls were young teens, I went on strike from laundry and making dinner. I told them and my husband that I would teach them how to do their own laundry and that they were each responsible for two dinners a week...I would do the shopping. To this day, they are grateful that I taught them how to fend for themselves. Doing their own laundry lasted until they lwwft home...making dinner not so much but to be fair, they had activities out of the house. Teaching them to cook early on proved so valuable when they went to college and lived on their own.
Thank you for this idea. That's great. I wish my mum did this. Leaving home for the first time AND need to learn all of this at the same time was very overwhelming for me. I'll teach my little girl early like you did. ❤👍
This world was built on the backs of women's unpaid labor and mental load. My husband wouldn't have been able to do a lot of things, including building his career, enjoying his hobbies, traveling, etc. I used to feel used and resentful (ok, so maybe I still do), but I turned it around and realized how awesome I am. My work family and my home family benefit from my awesomeness. It's hard to realize that nobody is coming to save or help me, but it's also empowering knowing that I'm my own hero. Thanks for another great video!
My first thought was “Why is the correct response to do more when everyone is doing less?” but then the overall message hit and I found the “why”. Great video.
When our children learned to crawl, they helped put their toys into the toy box. When they walked, I added helping Mommy put dishes in the dishwasher. Since they couldn't reach the top rack, when they were napping, I'd move top rack things so they wouldn't think they did it wrong. I continued adding small chores that fit their abilities as they grew older. They each had a clothing hamper in their room. It was their responsibility to put their dirty clothing in it. If it wasn't in the hamper on laundry day, it didn't get washed. A couple of years later they were responsible for taking their hangers to the laundry room. By 5th grade, they were doing their own laundry.
I also started a file card system where we each, me too, had a file care for each day of the week but Sunday. The rule was homework and housework before anything else. I never had any issue with getting help because they grew up thinking that was part of life. It also teaches them how to take care of themselves once on their own.
Bravo! Exactly what she needs to do.
They “grew up thinking that was part of life. Brava to you for including them from a very young age age.
Hey Cas. Just wanted you to know that YOU are my hero! When I'm feeling "over my threshold", I find one of your podcasts and get to gittin'. You have such a wonderfully calm speaking voice - it can almost immediately put me in positive frame of mind. You, Dawn from a Minimal Mom, and Dane White have literally changed how I look at my house *and* myself. I am NOT broken! I CAN do great things a few minutes at a time. So - thank you. Thanks for your zen voice, your excited voice, your yelling voice, your incredibly real voice. Thank you for putting yourself out there to show us overwhelmed folks that there is hope.
Just letting you know.
I agree 100%!!!
"BIM-BAM-BOOM'S your Uncle."
I love you, Cass!
As a Christian, this video resonates! Thank you for the inspiration & self awareness and humility!! I love when you do videos like this.
The only thing I would add bc of my faith in Jesus is that my worth, your worth, our collective worth as women is so much more than our roles as homemakers, wives, and moms. Those jobs are monumentally important BUT our true value is from God. Which alleviates a lot of the stress to be perfect. ❤
Amen!!! ❤
Cass likes to borrow British idioms but doesn’t get them right: It should be . . . “and Bob’s your uncle.” It simply means “and there we are.”
I completely agree! ✝️🙂
Seriously?
Yes, seriously. It's also why decluttering gives joy - Jesus said lay not up your treasure on earth😀
I know your kids are older, but chore chart all the way. I use one for my 15 and 9 year-olds. At the end of the week they get their allowance.
Maybe also have a family meeting and saying you really need help at this time because of everything + the holidays. I’m sure they will be understanding.
I tend to see deluttering and cleaning each as 1 giant chore but your comment got me thinking about writing a chore chart out for myself lol.
I'm old, but I have ADD and starting making and using my own chore charts for around a decade now!
I saw something online that went a step further where the whole amily (kids and both parents) didn't have a chore chart but a "Share the mental load" chart where they had their names in rows and then a column called "I noticed: ____" (for them to fill out, eg "I noticed: the dishwasher had finished its cycle", then the next column "So I: ____" (eg. "So I: put the dishes away). I think that's better because it trains people to see what needs to be done rather than still making it Mom's Job to allocate tasks.
Zello app serves as an interactive chore chart everyone can see and update on real time, assign, check off, and even ask and answer questions ("Mom, where's the new bottle of Dawn?") You can also assign urgency level and who's doing each one (or even seek volunteers).
@ericarutter7770 GREAT. EXCEPT - don't say *YOU* need help. This is their house, too. Say that you've been helping them all these years bc they were little, but now they're bigger and can help take care of their own laundry and food, at least more. You have a job and can't do all the family's needs; each has to help the family and themselves. Get them ready for life! You'll help them when you can, bc you love them, but it's a gift of love, not taking care of helpless little children anymore.
I’ve been hospitalized a few times over the past few years. When I’d get home, my flowers outside were all dying. No carpets were clean. Laundry was backed up. Paper plates were used instead of plates. Food was molding in the fridge.
When I die, life will go on for whoever is left behind. It helped me realize I was honestly the only one who cares how the house looks. Rather than be overwhelmed, I’m pretty chill about my chores now. I am a neat freak, but I don’t expect that from my family.
Take care of you. Sending you a hug. ❤
You are seen and heard. Although I am not sick, I feel like I can relate to your statement.
Mr Bojangles might need some sort of outside secure cat run. Would make a great video 😅. Been begging my husband for an outdoor cat run for years. Still begging. Need to learn construction myself obviously. Save myself!!! great video.
I’m thinking the next time even if you are going away for a week hopefully not the hospital call Merry Maids. I came home from major surgery and nothing was done…. I’m real tired but I think I’ll do this next time. I don’t have a lot of money but I will set it aside .
The only reason they don't care is because they have you to do it and well bottom line are lazy and ungrateful. Sadly when you are truly gone is when they will see how valuable you were.
You are awesome!!! Don't forget that!!! The reason they don't help you is because you do it all, they don't feel they have to worry about you becuae you always get stuff done and always adapt. It's a terrible cycle we have done to ourselves , people don't offer or think sometimes because it is hard for them to see the rock , the go getter, the do it aller is having trouble. Getting down, needing just some sort of assistance and when we do ask or nag or freak out, oh we're just being dramatic. Remember, listen to your older podcasts, you are the most important, your are amazeballs and you can do this. Need a break take one, do what you can for you, because YOU deserve to be happy. Hopefully people realize that giving a little help is sometimes the most important thing they can do ❤ and don't forget to high five yourself 🖐
MAKE. THEM. HELP. Take away their screens and refuse to make dinner. Make them figure it out.
Thank you for this. For one, I needed to hear this.
2. Just when I thought all the youtubers had everything together, I now feel like Im not alone. This has made me feel better about struggling.
3. You're absolutely right about "Motivation is contagious'. As soon as I cleaned out my wardrobe, my kids and husband did the same.
Thanks for everything you do Cas. ❤❤
You are so welcome!
Sending you a hug. Take care of you. ❤
Chat advice: you could always try a cat door. But the secret is cat toys. Lots and lots of cat toys. He needs stimulation to calm the wildness. I have a cat that refuses to calm down too. The little cheapie cat toys that are a little plastic ball with a bell in it, I own dozens of them because they disappear under furniture constantly. he will bat them around the house for hours and because they roll away from him. It stimulates that desire to hunt. Laser pointers are also great. We think about walking dogs but we forget cats need exercise and stimulation too. 😊 good luck with your wild man! And thank you for the pep talk. Was feeling down today and this really helped
I agree with all of this! I put in a cat door for my multiple cats and it has been amazing. They do still use the litter box inside strangely but there is much less drama since they go outside. Mine love the little balls with the bells inside too. Take him to the vet once a year to get his shots, that will protect him from a lot of nasty viruses that cats can get. Also I’m assuming he’s spayed/neutered (I can’t ever remember which is which 😂) but if not you definitely need to have that done, that also makes a huge difference in their temperament, especially boys. ❤
Agree with both of these posts! Your boy is still a little wild/feral, but he WILL calm down. Definitely have him neutered if he’s not already, that will help. It also sounds like he may still be pretty young? That makes a difference too. It does seem like he truly wants to be inside, and truly that’s the best/safest way to ensure he doesn’t get hurt again. Be patient with him. He will adjust and the craziness will subside. If he gets crazy at night, just close your bedroom doors so he won’t be able to disturb you while you sleep. Get him toys to bat around. Mine really like toy mice that make squeaky sounds. The balls are fun too. I also have an automatic laser pointer toy from Amazon. There are sprays you can get that will deter him from scratching certain things. I got some from Walmart when my cat was acting up. Just bear with him! He will settle down once he’s used to being completely indoors 😊
Just make sure the cat toys have no cat nip in them. My cats never get catnip. I have the sweetest most calm cats ever.
Don't forget that cats need company. There are cats who prefer being single cats, of course, but most cats need a second cat to feel good. It's a necessity for them.
Cat door is the best investment evet!
It definitely sounds like the cat wants to be an indoor cat and most cats are more active at night because that’s when they do the most hunting.
I think he’s waking at night because he wants the family’s company.
It shows how much he loves you all 🥰
My daughter has two rescue kitties and she has to lock them out of her bedroom at night. Otherwise, they want to play and be rambunctious!
I needed this video yesterday! However, i would lay down the law with kindness: "these chores are yours and the consequences for not doing them is xyz." Because moms need sanity and civilization needs ppl (current teens) who have the ability to step up and work for the things wanted with out expectations that someone else owes it to them
Your kids are old enough to do their own washing. Dishwasher and stuff like that you need a roster with the kids having turns. It will set them up well for when they leave home.
💯 they've learned she'll do it all. There needs to be assigned chores and consequences for not following through.
Co-dependent no more!
A good book to learn if you are helping or enabling other.
Thank you. If you wanted this video to reach just one, it did. I have been stuck in a rut since my brother passed in February and this has helped me take a step forward. I got up, washed my hair and used the time between wet and drying it to clean my bathroom sink. 5 minutes. I normally would craw back in bed and feel bad, run out of time and go out looking messy. The 5 minutes has set me off on a different course today and even if it is just this morning, I appreciate it.
Do a repeat tomorrow! So happy to hear you are getting out of bed. We need you.
Cass, you don't know what you just did for me! I spent all of yesterday wasting time and all morning this morning wasting time! I have a candy making business and I need to do so much work but I was feeling frozen and didn't know what to do first. So I started listening to you and I'm on a good roll now and I am so grateful. Thanks for getting me started!
I'm so glad I could have a small part in your motivation. Go Superhero Go!
Treating others the way you want to be treated, and serving others out of love without expecting anything in return :). Thank you for the motivation!
Yes it was Beautiful ❤
Yet this is exactly how I ended up burned out and having a nervous breakdown. Sometimes drowning people need help from others.
She definitely said her family should and needs to help, but the video is about ways to motivate YOURSELF and get things done regardless of what everyone else is/ isn't doing. Thanks once again Cas!
Just when I think you're going to run out of things to share, you share something that continues to inspire us! Love you Cass, you are an amazing human being 💞Thank you, for being you!
Thank you Cas for being open, brave and showing this side of you. I LOVED IT :)
You are so welcome!
1. You’re amazing
2. So impressed with where this video started and ended up
3. You have earned the right to bring in a house keeper, maybe once a month for the deeper cleaning. When was younger I was judgy about that. Now I say if it helps your sanity and you can afford it, do it.
4. I think your cat needs more play. I’ve had 2 high energy cats that were too smart for MY good. The struggle is real! Try a cat running wheel or maybe some automated toys that go on and off automatically. I keep my cats in a designated area at night or they would sleep on my head.
I sleep with cats all around me and I love it!
You are amazimg for caring for Mr. Bojangles! Bless him xxx
He's a menace but I love him!
This is more than a cleaning channel! This is like living your best life 101. Thanks Cas!
I remember you did a video quite a long time about “doing it for yourself” and that truly stuck with me and it’s some of the best advice you’ve given! I do feel hurt at times when my family seems to take everything I do for granted but you’re right in saying feeling sorry for yourself won’t do anything but make you spiral 🌀 in negativity. When I’m exhausted at the end of each day and dreading cleaning the kitchen, I tell myself that I deserve to wake up to a clean kitchen and that future me will thank me, and that (usually) does the trick :) Thanks for all of the great advice, Cass! You’re the best ❤
Take care of you. Sending you a hug. ❤
Cass, I am happy to see that you are finding better balance in your life. BUT that doesn't mean that your family should expect you to still do it all while you are working extra on your goals. You don't need to be a nag. They pick up after themselves or they lose a privilege until it's done, like take away their cell phones or TV, or no going out with friends. Explain to them that it is their responsibility to clean up after themselves. It always has been! Being a slob is unacceptable and they need to learn this life skill. My 17-year-old sons know this well because I've taught this to them their whole lives. You aren't putting your "work" of cleaning up the house onto them. They are responsible for their personal areas, as well as helping in all family areas because that's their contribution to the family and home. Best wishes, Cass!
Love this! ❤❤❤
Agree 100%!
Absolutely agree. What makes her have to do all the housework, even though she has a full time job too. Seems inconsiderate of the family. Grateful for my husband
When I was 15 and my mum had just had my brother, she was 35, she had her friend round and she had a bit of a meltdown telling her friend that she has 4 daughters and we don’t help her ever. We had spent our whole childhood not being allowed to help our mother as our dad told us it was her job!! I felt annoyed that I would help more if I’d been allowed. The friend tried to tell us we should help more! Soon shut her up!!! From that day on I started doing my own washing and helping with the other kids when I wasn’t at school. To have my brother she spent 4 months in hospital due to health issues. I had to shop, cook our dads dinner and get the younger two sisters clothes ready for school for 4 months beforehand! It was 45 years ago so shopping wasn’t quite so easy and there were no mobile phones etc. Moral of the story is teach your kids to help around the house so certain chores are always theirs, it’s kinder believe me!! At 16 your kids can get married in the UK so they’re old enough to clean their rooms and do the dishes and learn to cook, boys and girls alike!!!!! Just saying!!
I was going to say this. Give them chores or a task list that works for them
So true!!! At that age i did all of that for my self and also my brothers and sister. My room was my space so i had to keep it clean, also wash my clothes and learn basic cooking skills 😉. It’s NOT only mom’s work, it’s everybody’s job to keep a home clean and confortable for everyone ❤
I really appreciate that you're giving voice to all the emotional labor women do that goes unnoticed. I would love to recommend "Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward" by Gemma Hartley. I read this book with my husband and while I wouldn't say it was marriage changing, it was incredibly eye opening and such a relief to know that I was not alone in all the feelings of resentment and frustration. My husband still needs reminders sometimes but he has taken a more active role in household duties. Hope this helps someone!
I think you're missing the point. Sounds like you're still trying to change your husband instead of changing your thinking which is what she is saying.
@cajbaf I agree with the video's overall point of positivity being more effective than negativity. I choose to have a relationship that has open lines of communication about fair division of labor, housework and stress. A pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality is only going to be effective for so long before you will get burnt out again. The point is not to change your husband - it's to develop a strong foundation with healthy communication about all aspects of your relationship - meaning domestic tasks do not need to fall predominantly on one spouse (including in times of stress as she is describing here).
Loved this and the message you are sending to us. As a mom, I too feel that no one else sees the mess I see. But I have also gone and done my kids chores because I also see them trying to juggle all the things and not be able to get it all done. And they have always been very appreciative of it. Teach by example, and love by serving. It is empowering.
"...giving what I wish I was getting." B-e-a-utiful. Go, mama, go!
Cass… yep, you are amaze balls! 😁 Thanks for always connecting with us in this very kind way. ❤ (PS: also, it’s ok to hire some housekeeping help.) 🤝
You are a saint for continuing to care for your cat.
Great job living out “love your neighbor as yourself”
Thank you!
Thank you for lending me your motivation!! I was feeling so down and overwhelmed but as soon as I played your video, I became the hero of my home ❤
Cas, your videos are always so inspirational! Thank you! I can at times dip into the victim mentality due to overwhelm and never feeling seen, because I do it all or at least try to!
I love your concept of making the decision… are you a victim or a hero. A HERO!!! Such a shift!
As for your cat, I always heard that when you neuter a cat, he tends to “calm down” and be more mellow. I have a kitten that hasn’t been fixed yet, so I can’t tell you first experience. But do talk to your vet about it. Also, we do use spray bottle with water when our kitty goes on counters or tries to scratch furniture. But then take him to the scratching post and when he starts scratching it we praise the behavior giving a treat. Another thing we got that he loves are cat puzzles. Perhaps more ways to entertain him. When my kitten tries to bite me (playfully but hurts) I say a loud NO. So he knows I did not like it. Hope this helps!
You are the worlds greatest motivator of all times for me❣️Thank you ever so much for being YOU ❤
This seems very counterintuitive. When you’re overwhelmed (maybe overworked), work harder? Someone who advocates for themselves is not a victim. The person who quietly toils away is a victim. Everyone in a household needs to do their part as a matter of course. ✌️🙂
I once spoke to a counsellor during extreme burnout and adrenal fatigue around 4 years ago. He said to me, "This will sound counterintuitive, but I'm going to ask you to put a couple more things on your plate. I want you to do something everyday that feels GOOD. We can agree that where you're at now, isn't sustainable, and putting more on your to do list can't be long term. But just for now, you have to give yourself things that will nourish you, while you're doing so much that is taking from you." He was right, it worked! I was shocked too 😅
That's how I see what Cass's done above. She's added things to her plate, but it's made her feel GOOD, and inadvertently reset the whole house, while creating an energy that everyone will notice and naturally imitate, because her new joy will be contagious to them. They'll wanna feel it too. She also spoke about communicating the needs in a healthy way, so no suffering in silence :)
Thank you for being real and genuine with us. I so needed this today.
Amen!! ❤
I got to a point that I was resentful, because my expectations are high... But that is unfair to others. I decided to take action because I deserve a clean (fill in the blank). So I started cleaning like it was just me in the house. If it's just me, I would clean up my own messes, leaves on the floor, mess on the counter, etc.... I do explain my frustration to my family members, but at the end of the day, I do deserve a clean home and my sanity. Thank you for being real! ❤
Instead of expressing your frustration, you might try telling your family outright that you are feeling overwhelmed. They need to know you are human. Then try asking them if they would help with something specific, like the dishes or the laundry. I have found that working with children and teenagers is very effective (as long as you don't criticize). They like the company. If there is a dad in your home, he can work with them, too.
Omg I needed this. I’m trying not to cry because I relate so much. I’ve been so overwhelmed and alone in how out of order my entire home and business has been for so long. Now I just want to put this video on loop and clean everything.
Cas!!! I WAS NOT PREPARED TO TEAR UP watching your video. Go you for not wallowing in a victim mentality. I feel like this type of mindset is so rare. This was so inspiring to watch 😭❤️
I really needed this! Thanks for stopping and doing this video! Mom is the heart of the home. It takes more energy and is more draining to complain and yell rather than getting up and doing something.
@@loriherring8110 Once the family gets used to being responsible and there are systems in place, yelling or begging won't be necessary. Set the systems in place and don't give up. Don't let them wear you down and convince you that it's more effort to get them to help. A clean house is everyone's job.
Wish I could like this 100xs! Not only do we deserve some grace, our loved ones do too.
Glad you like it!
Way to be a leader, Cass! Thanks for the motivation and the example! Keep up the good work, you areamaze balls!
Your videos are my motivation! A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I was stressed and overwhelmed because of my messy, cluttered house. I decided to change that. I did a ton of decluttering (and still have more to do), and I feel a weight has been lifted off of me. I feel more relaxed and like I can breathe! I am actually looking forward to the next decluttering projects! I found your videos, and they have such great information and motivation for me. ❤
Your bedroom decorations look beautiful.
I only found you today. My goodness this video was exactly what I needed to hear. Goodness me it cut straight to my heart and eyes welled. Thank you for making this, I so needed to hear it. I will rewatch this many times, just what I needed to hear. I can’t tell you how helpful it is to hear other mums are feeling this way. Just wow and thank you
We rescued our cat from outside…so she is not an indoor cat! We let her out during the day and she does the same thing! She climbs the screen door to come inside. We give her lots of climbing things, toys, scratchers, and a window shelf. We have considered a chicken coop attached to the house to let her have an outdoor but contained space. Way to motivate and fill me with positivity!
Yay for outdoor cats! ❤
Cat will get used to it new routine, nice idea
How did you know I needed this video so much. I have wanted to cry for days because I hate the mess my house is in. I can't seem to get anything done and I am exhausted. Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone and I can do this. You my friend are my motivational speaker. We can do this!
I’m overwhelmed but I’m also dealing with chronic health issues. I need my family to consistently step up and contribute because they live in this house too. I have to continue to ask and nag because I need help.
Yeah I'm with you here. It's great to recognize our mindsets and sometimes we also need more resources. If the spouse is drowning they need to speak up or step up or together we should seek help if needed.
Nagging is a sign your nervous system needs attention and your boundary has been violated. (Boundary that you didn't make this mess alone or you are being asked to do the job of more than 1 person without being consulted first).
Do you say, I need “help” or do you give them specifics? All people are different, but I’ve found if I ask for specifics I got more help. “I can’t do it all, you need to help more” got me nowhere. “Can you vacuum the living room while I fix dinner?” got me more help.
You are absolutely correct. Positive thinking is key to achievement and healthy mental being. Might I suggest that you take the time to meet with the family and share this experience. Even though you lead by example, it might be good to create a list to share responsibilities so you don’t end up in the same place again. Great message.
You're so welcome!
I live by myself and it's easy to say ' I can do that tomorrow'. You are my motivator!! Thanks for being honest and sharing your tips. Just do it for 5 mins can really get you started. Thanks and God bless you.
When my husband makes the tiniest unusual effort, like he randomly cleans a ceiling fan, then I get so excited to clean the rest of the ceiling fans, because it brings it to my attention that it matters to him.
And I feel like maybe that’s what’s happening with your family. It brings it to their attention that the state of their room or their bathroom genuinely matters to someone more than just themselves
What a good sign that your cat actually fights to get in. A wild behaviour can partly come from being stressed by being outside - we seldom know what they encounter. You simply have to take him in fully in to your hearts and see him as a full part of the family and someone with his own needs that has to be considered in the equation. Create high and low spaces. See this as his new and only landcape. And stop to play with him in a way that he can get some energy out. Be with him. Talk to him. Etc. The more you stop what you are doing and meet him and do things together and hang out the less he has to fight for his space and getting his needs fulfilled. Congratulations on having the opportunity to live with such enegetic cat. The more you meet him the more he's able to provide you with joy, energy and quietness.
Ps. Many cats do have better lives being indoors all the time. It just take time to find your ways for everyone.
It sounds like high stress, high energy is his problem. There are lots of stimulating activities and toys for pets with high energy. Check those out. As for stress, create "safe" spaces. Many cats will create their own spots, (not always where we want them.) If worse comes to worse with his behavior, there are meds, over the counter as well as prescription to help him deal with this new life style.
Kindness yes, putting them on a pedestal no. Cats and dogs are pets, not children. You can't treat them like they have the same level of rationality and decision making skills as a human. They should not be allowed to have free access to the entire house. They need their own space, whether outdoors or indoors.
Motivation is CONTAGIOUS!!! Cass, you are BRILLIANT!
Excellent video!
I’ve had several cats and three of them are former ferals. The older they get the more they will calm down. In the meantime, I have a large screened porch with a cat door outside. These cats are too used to being outside, so they are indoor outdoor cats. Overtime, they learn that they are fed and safe at my place, so they gradually acclimated. One still won’t let me near him after a couple years, but baby steps. Another lives in front of my house, but comes in occasionally. I put her in her own room at night when it’s cold so she doesn’t have to deal with the others. The third now older, but lives on the porch and backyard with no more wandering and comes in by choice at times. The harder to acclimate them, depends on how long they were in the “wild “. Hang in there, they are worth the effort!
Long ago I learned that if my needs aren’t being met, I need to communicate them more clearly and that also means communicating them before I am desperate and resentful. If I am being a witch, that doesn’t make people want to help me. People aren’t mind readers. Some days it means saying, I need a hug. Some days it means saying if I’m not home by 5 o’clock can you take dinner out of the oven. Earlier this year I was facing health challenges, I talked to my partner and told him I was so stressed that I couldn’t deal with my health issues and politics, it was making me crazy. For the better part of a year now he has shielded me from political stresses at home. All it took was really communicating what I needed and how serious it was for me.
Hi dear Cass, thanks for always being our inspiration on this overwhelming houseworld
I could not pin point what was keeping me stuck until after watching this video. I've had so much on my plate with starting school while feeling like everyone's go-to for help. I was feeling ungrateful and keeping score. This also led me to blow smoke in an ungraceful way while doing the tasks I used to enjoy. You're right, I think we all can feel overwhelmed, but doing our part the best we can could bless our families. I want to be a pleasant wife and mother who doesn't paralyze herself from my mindset. The Bible speaks of us renewing our minds and I can see how that ripples into everything we do. So from now on I hope to test these principles and not be ruled by my circumstances.
GO, Cas! Your Christmas bedroom looks sooooo pretty!! Yo did it. :) Thank you for all your videos.
I'm a psychologist who's stressed and you are "preaching to the choir" on this one! Spot on psychologically & I needed this today!!! Thank you!💜💜💜💜💜
For mr. Bow jangles, a pheromone plug in or several, calming treats you can add to his food, getting him fixed if he's not, getting him a little kitten friend (might be risky but the pheromone plug ins help get cats comfy with each other), there also cat doors that you can lock remotely or on a timer so he can go outside for a while and it will lock when he comes back in for the night.
Cas you are amazing! Thank you for this reminder to end the woe-is-me party and get things done. As for the cat, perhaps you can put a cat door in the garage and let him come and go in there during the day? I have a friend who does this with her covered patio for a feral they rescued. It seems to work well for them. They got a pet door that only opens for their pets since it is programmed for the chip the vet put in them in case they get lost.
Oh, and I saw on Amazon the other day a big cat wheel. It looked like a hamster wheel but a lot bigger. Perhaps he would use one of those to burn some energy, especially once it gets really cold there and you need to keep him inside more.
Went through something very similar the last 2 months myself. Small projects helped massively in making me feel proud of accomplishing something. Helped with swapping to positive thinking again.
Cat issue. I found that cats attack people while feeling unsafe. They need to be on high elevations. That’s why many owners create cat gyms… platforms on the wall, old drawers, bridges, caves, etc for them to climb and jump and hide in. Including toys to bat around and bite. Some have installed real trees to climb up on toward high shelves and runways along the ceiling.
Awesome advice as always to do just a little. Much like taking one strep at a time to get to the finish line. It’s only your race when no one joins you. You’re awesome.
I agree about the cat toys and climbers!
Build ceiling shelves! Create cat shelves in bojangles favourite rooms
I love this philosophy Cass, and I needed to hear it just now. It’s a great reminder to check the victim mentality at the door and move toward taking care of yourself and still accomplishing tasks. This applies to so many aspects in life…like when your significant other ignores you over his parents because of worry - don’t be a victim - do something nourishing for yourself and then you have a higher tolerance for others. Thank you for your inspiring videos and humor- I LOVE your humor!
I'm gonna go around today saying out loud "I'm a hero!" I woke up overwhelmed so this was perfect timing! It's just my husband and I but I have over 20 years of boxes halfway up the walls 🙄 i've had kids and other relatives move in and out, and I had to shift my space a lot. I also came from a hoarding/keep and use everything farm mentality. I lost my momentum recently, so I appreciate your timing. Also I miss my kids 😢They are 32 and 33 and out of state soon to be out of country. So even though they're messy, appreciate them while you've got them close to home ❤
@@everising4999 My mom has that keep it all mentality and then gets overwhelmed. When I was at her house this weekend I had a half empty trash sack and started throwing away old food from shelves. She won’t do it but won’t mind me doing it. I need more weekends with her! My son lives states away and I would love to help them clean now and then because they are both engineers and super busy. It’s nice to see them when I can. 💙
My aunt recently became disabled at 45. Her 5 (FIVE) children, 3 of whom are now adults, are so used to having her do everything for them, they dumped her at my Grandma's and hardly do anything for her at all now, even monetarily. Love your children, appreciate them, and ABOVE ALL teach them to be in the habit of caring for others, not just themselves. 💔
Hi Cas, I'm addressing your cat question at the end. Cats are nocturnal so they tend to be up at night - that's when they roam and hunt. One showed up at our house and the same thing happened. After numerous vet bills, we finally decided to let him be outside during the day but inside at night, so around 10:30, we put him up in the front part of the house and close the door. Otherwise, he would come in the bedroom and pounce on us when we were sleeping. This way, he has several rooms the he can choose to sleep in and his litter box and water bowl are there. He prefers go out to do his business. First thing in the morning, I go open the door, let him out, he eats in the kitchen, and then he heads to the side door to go out for the day. He also uses the dog door, so when he wants to come in, he can. Love your videos and how inspiring you are! You make me get up and do stuff so a huge thank you.
Me too!!!! Ive been stressing so much Thank you Cas!
First, thank you for your videos. You are my go to to get things started/done. I am a self diagnosed ADHD senior. You are really helping me navigate retirement, which is harder than i thought since there are no schedules. Second, I'm so glad Mr. B was trying to get back in the house, that's a great sign. We had a feral cat, they need lots of play and time. Thanks for giving him a home.❤
My Dad taught me if everything is a mess and you can't do anything to fix it, you CAN polish your shoes! Job done! Great accomplishment, win win!
I definitely needed this!! I'm disabled and also the only one who works from home in my house so i usually end up doing a lot of cleaning tasks even if it hurts me but I feel like getting my partner and cousin to help is hard. But we all have adhd (ALSO a disability) and they're not doing it maliciously. I already make conscious effort to try and manage my negative reaction to that, but this reminded me to really try harder and to continue communicating with them.
It's great that you were able to turn it around yourself. I don't think it's realistic to say those are "your needs" and "nobody helps me" because it makes it sound as if the whole house is a place that you alone use and all the chores are a result of just you, alone, using things and living in the house. It's their house too, they use it daily too, so it's not just your needs, and its not that you need help, the house needs help, the house that everyone likes to use especially after someone else has cleaned it all up.
I know you said that you recognize that your family needs to help more and that's good, but it might help to reframe and reflect on the "why" they need to help, and its not just because you need it, they need it too even if they aren't the ones nagging.
I am so motivated when I listen to you. During this video I loaded the dishwasher and put a load of laundry in.
Yay!
It really helped me to hear this! I fall into the same trap of expecting everyone to do their part and being disappointed when they don’t. When I can shift my thinking to doing things because it makes Me happy to have them done changes everything. 😊
Thank you Cas - you helped ME today. I needed this, really. ❤
this feels like what i did to try to fix my marriage i was so unhappy in. i felt helpless to get what i needed so i tried to take control and not need it, and tell myself it was working. ive been divorced for about a year now and feel so much better. convincing women that expecting the least bit from others is nagging or that you're a hero for quietly suffering is classic gaslighting. im so sorry you are doing it to yourself as i did.
Take care and congratulations on this new chapter in your life. I divorced a narcissist (and hoarder) a year ago. Never got help and when I offered to help him, I’d get told no as I wouldn’t do it right. He wasn’t a team player. Sending you a hug! ❤
1:16 thank you! OMG it’s not only me who feels this way!!!
Experienced vet tech hero here! Make inside more interesting than outside. Scratchers with different textures and angles in convenient spots. Da Bird toy is the shit. Treat scavenger hunt. Treat puzzles. Cat grass. Window spots. Best of luck.
I had chores as long as I can remember. When I was eight years old my mother had me ironing my clothes. I always emptied the dishwasher, and helped load it. I vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, all those things from the time I was very young. You prepare your children to be responsible adults when you have a chore list. I always had one for my son. No one is going to save you, you have to be proactive and have tough love.
My kids all have chores they do. We're all just in a busy season right now, myself included, and things have fallen behind.
About to go through my junk drawers, this couldn't have come at a better time! 😆💗 Thank you Cass!
For the cat- get a Feliway diffuser kit that you put into a socket. It warms a cat pheromone which is calming for cats.
Thank you for putting this out today. I hurt my back the other day, and it still bothers me. I was just feeling sorry for myself, so I watched this. Now I think I can get on with my day. I still hurt, but maybe I can do a little something, which will motivate me to do another little something.
being the energy leader really hit home it's like when your kids are having a bad day when you're having a bad day...oh wait a minute...
I live alone. I only have myself to clean up after. I also have CPTSD and am in treatment, but there is only so much I can do in a day. I'm consistently working on my home and getting it back to how it used to be before I started experiencing these mental health concerns. Borrowing motivation works well for me a lot of the time. I find that if I call and talk to someone on the phone, I can get work done in just a few minutes. My home is cluttered from my mental issues, but it's better than it was--and each day I try to do something to help myself. Thank you for being human online and showing all of us that we're just people, with feelings and stresses and things we need to do that we hate. I won't quit if you won't!!
I am in a similar situation. Some days, I can hardly accomplish normal things. At the end of the day, I don't feel like washing just my own clothes or the dishes 😩 Then I get behind and stressed out!
I needed this! I've had a lot going on over the past year and felt as though I can't keep up with household tasks. It's hard to turn off the perfectionist in my brain, but this video helped me feel like it's okay to just make sure the dishwasher is loaded before bed and nothing else.
Omg Im here so early!
This topic is so relatable I clicked so fast!
My husband said this to me after I had a terrible fallout with a friend. I was so depressed and sad that I spiraled.
I was so glad he said that to me because I’ve never been happier❤