The Art of Saying No: Kenny Nguyen at TEDxLSU
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- Опубликовано: 1 май 2013
- Noted entrepreneur and presentation expert Kenny Nguyen passionately speaks about the power inherent in saying "no." The CEO of Big Fish Presentations, Kenny speaks about how "no" has affected him personally and professionally, but more importantly, how it can prepare one for the perfect time to say yes.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations) 
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My friend once realized that I couldn't say no and instead of using me, he helped. He helped me start saying no to small things, like picking up a paper. Then, we went on to work on larger, more important requests. To this day, I appreciate the fact that he took the time to help. Although it might have been just out of personal interest, but I am so glad he did.
You're lucky to have had someone help you in such a way.
I don't think he did it out of personal interest. I think he genuinely wanted to help
@@exposez Did it help? Are you better at saying no?
Rarely any anyone would do it
Hello. Could you please elaborate a bit more on what methods you used etc.? I have a friend with exactly same problem. He knows it is a problem, but with his low esteem, even while he wants to change, he just sorta accepted it, that this is how his life will be, and it tears my heart to see him this way. If you could please elaborate on how you and your friend overcame this struggle, I would be so much grateful.
Came here after amazing number of friends, who usually don't talk to me, asked me for assignments.
This might be taking your comment out of context, but people that don't usually speak to you unless it's to ask for something are not friends. Acquaintances, maybe. Not friends though.
And u call these people friends??
@@lenalee5516 Now I term them as classmates.
i can relate please learn this art
@@khatriajaya: You're learning. Did you tell them "no" re: the assignments. (I call them acquaintances.)
Saying no is an essential part of leveraging your time. If you have difficulty saying no, think about it this way. For each time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to everything else. ;)
Underrated comment
The problem is when you always say yes.
Wow! This is profound on so many levels!
Damn straight.
This was really eye opening and your so right ! Thank you for your input
All my childhood everyone taught me to say yes and now for the rest of my life I'm learning to say no!
Every time you say “yes” you make it easier for others to take advantage of you.
I realized this at work one when a coworker demandingly asked to move some stuff with the forklift. As soon as I said yes and walked away. I over heard him say to another coworker….
“See, you don’t have to operate the forklift he was going to say “yes” anyways”
That struck a nerve with me. The next day I kept saying “no” because every time I said yes I would fall behind on my work. When that happened I would get scolded for not keeping up. Mean while the other coworkers benefited from my wasted by getting ahead, fooling around at work and not working twice as hard to keep up.
This is crazy. Literally crazy. Going through something similar, had to say no to a very important opportunity, and I struggled at first. But I’m so, so happy I prioritized my peace instead of more fame/money, that I don’t even need, it’s hard because it’s an opportunity not many people can have, that’s why you feel pressured to say YES. Thank you for this, made me feel less alone.
"Learn to say 'no', so that you can say 'yes' at the right time."
The thing i hate is how people dont accept No as an answer, i mean if you ask me for a favor, you gotta expect a yes or a no.
Last week my teacher colleague asked me to replace her for a day becuz she had an important appointment so it was my pleasure to Say yes and i accepted, i didnt even think twice, but i didnt know her students were so annoying so they really pissed me off and didnt let me do my job properly i literally regretted accepting to replace her.
Today she called me again to replace her for next week, and i told her No, and she literally got mad, even tho i told her my reasons. Like its not my problem if they dont accept rejection, if u ask for smth expect yes or no, this situation made me think well before accepting something even if i want to.
Ur guts really stand out 👏
When the speaker talked about the importance of listening to your gut feeling, that just gave me so much comfort. I'm in a situation where my gut feeling was telling me that I'm not ready for something even though it looks like the most ideal situation to all other people. I kept on going and ignoring my gut feeling because people said that you are just overthinking.
And later I did ended up realizing that your gut screams NO for a reason because only you know what you want and what you need and no other person can truly understand your gut feeling but only you.
There is guilt associated with saying a NO especially if it means rejecting something good but if your gut says no, then maybe listen to it. Sometimes it doesn't make sense in the present but it does make sense eventually.
This gave me some assurance that it's okay to listen to your gut even if nobody understands it and maybe even you don't fully understand it. Your gut feelings are powerful psychic shields that are meant to protect you.
I can relate to this so much! I hope you all the best ✨
That is so true if u have two different thoughts which, one tells us to say ‘yes’ and smaller thought or ur gut says ‘no’. Then u should be assertive on it to say ‘no’ because, sometimes ur guts get more essential then the bigger thoughts. My own statement,,
My God, I'm in the same exact situation, got an opportunity that everybody is thrilled about but my gut feeling is screaming no to me, never been this loud before. I am about to send a rejecting note and super nervous but as u said maybe I will come to find out why I said no one day.
I teach my clients through an exercise titled, No, is a complete sentence! You would be amazed at the struggle some people experience saying no, but when they learn, It’s liberating!
2022 is my year to using more the word "NO."
I'm here because I have to tell a coworker no to a presentation they asked me to do. I have to say no for my mental and physical health and family. I can't work 60 hours a week anymore....
“When to use your sword vs when to use your shield” yooo I’m going to say that to myself everyday. I learned a lot from that
NO is my favourite word !
Thanks, Kenny. - from a super-busy classroom teacher/aspiring school principal. The word NO certainly has stigma surrounding it and we need to work as an overworked culture to redefine NO. :)
+Jared Boone Amen Jared :)
yes to who i really am, no to everything else
Tell em Jay!
This one is one of my favorite topic. It's something which hinders our growth. Excellent deliberation. I have discussed in 4 classes in my You Tube Channel.
The flip side of saying "no" :).
Thank you, it's such a meaningful speech :)
I never have a hard time saying no. I just hate what I have to deal with behind saying no.
no is meant for your protection :)
I have just finished my third prayer to my Heavenly Father for guidance to
Keep me on the right path and blessings to
My most important and most needed
Request a awesome teacher blessed too
Love you and I thank yew mrjeary
Jesse Flores: I hope your prayer was answered. Teachers can be blessings but not all of them are. Take care and God bless.
I was labeled as a yes-man but now I do not say yes to everything a person asks of me, I learned how to say no to other people so they will not be able to take advantage of me
I agree! It is important to know how to say not and get creative with it. There are ways to say no that protect your own boundaries as well as the one you're speaking to. I like to think of formulating your "no" like improv.
Really enjoyed the story. How you date it back to childhood is amazing. I guess we all remember how bad it feels to get a No when we were a kid. It's time for us to protect ourselves. :)
simple but brilliant, i feel this is going to change my life! see you in a year
The Word "NO" is to combat the dangerous effects of the word "YES"💫
A művészet. IGEN :) ámbár nem mindegy valaki azért megy cipő nélkül ki az utcára mivel éppen nincs kedve cipőt húzni vagy amiatt, mivel nincs neki cipője!!!! Éljen a mezítláb!
Klassz volt az előadás!
This changed my life, thank you
Great video. I really struggle with this. Love the analogy of the word no being a protective shield :)
I love your energy and some really great points here! Thank you!!
Insightful and inspirational.
Awesome learning how to rejoice in the NO's. So impressed by this young insightful entrepreneur!!! Full time Job being a Super HERO!!! LOL!!! Thank you Kenny for having the courage to go first & put yourself out there!! FEARLESS!!! INSPIRATIONAL!! Thank you for paving the way for so many!!!
Julie Landreneau I hope you're kidding
One of the best speeches I ever heard....thank you !!
Genius , thank you!
Y'know what fuckit I'm quitting my job, my boss can have fun with only 1 employee left
U GO! Go Chase that YES!
Thank you. The reference to the yes sword and no shield realy resonated with me.
Thank you Julie! Hope it helps you through the tough times!
It did. I realized that saying no to a family situation was the very best thing i could do for everyone involved. They understood and had suspected the same thing all along. It went very well and no one got upset. Thank you!
@@kennynguyen7707 Great speech. Learning to trust your gut instinct is so important and who knows how many-an-accidents may have been avoided if we paid respect to it. Not sure what really transpired, but the Shark Tank has a very, very high rejection rate. So probably it all worked out for the best!
Good stuff Kenny. Love the Steve Jobs line.
Thank you very much Ryan!
Great talk Kenny! Keep up the good work.
Yes very true i do need to learn the word no
I feel like it’s the opposite. NO is the sword used to fight and to attack something. NO is like going to war and YES is the shield, used to protect you from getting hurt.
this was good, thanks
I say NO to watching this video at 4am in the morning!
Best 10 minutes of my life my mom bought me a 40 dollar V-bucks gift card she insisted but i didnt know how to say no so i said yes now she insisted to buying me a 100 dollar i said no :)
super charismatic dude
its very effective for people
Amazing!!!
Should I even prove this dope sword technique? Am I in trouble for mentioning it, YAGYU? “Yea (aye) argue.” NO. (don’t need one, the sword). It’s mysterious........NO!! WE CAN KEEP GOING! No is a “no-permittance” for safekeeping, little shogun. NO. hence, PAUL AND ARAMAIC. A famous “NO”-sword.
Huh?
So proud. !! Cố lên anh ơi
This is beautiful
Amazing👍
I'm thoroughly impressed by this content. A book I read on the same topic had a revolutionary impact on my perspective. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn
Intuition knows best!!
To everybody here ; i tried so much to say no
But i can’t …bec what ?? Because we don’t want to say no we just try We can't say no because it's not what we want. It is possible that we want to learn to say no, but this is something in us, we cannot prevent ourselves and we cannot refuse, but we must help from someone you trust
Im here May 2024
people: NO
Patrick: NO THIS IS PATRICK
Huh?
Yes!
No
where can i read the text of this video?
I think you can turn on subtitles
wow...all the kids who never or seldom got bloody feet and got all that time in the grass, stomping in mud carefree and spontaneous because they did not have to prove their father right, act out his fears, submit to his abuse or live in his controlling world. Sure, create the heroic myth but also feel how it was for that little boy, comfort him and let him go barefoot for gods sake.
Sharon Leslie: Your histrionics are nuts. Parents use different techniques to protect their children. You have no idea, from this video, why the Father told his son not to go out barefoot yet you describe it as "they did not have to prove their father right, act out his fears, submit to his abuse or live in his controlling world." Okay, we get it, you hate Men.
Kenny Nguyen seems like a well adjusted young Man so whatever his Daddy did, he done it right.
Ignore this comment as this is a personal msg for someone
Its ok to say no to me. Because why not? You surely have a choice.
But maybe i just hope that you just say that "sorry i cant disclose some information to you because you might blah blah" and things like that. But of course, you have your own way of saying things even if it will appear that you dont care about me or you were trying to bring me down.
But its not really a big deal. I also didnt asked for those infos anyway and i just got surprised that thats what you were thinking.
So dont worry about that. Dont feel bad about that.
Youve helped me with my awakening, as i said so thats already appreciated.
Sometimes there r things that we just dont want to do and no one will be forcing us. Its just that we dont have any real communication. And things are better communicated instead of trying to get on the other person's nerves. But that didnt get on my nerves though cuz i wasnt really expecting anything
And i also dont want others to worry about not disclosing info because they have their own reasons. Its really no big deal. I believe in your and their good intentions . And i believe that they also helped in some way
as if we didn't have enough security/protection/shields around us.. safty = boring times. your body has skills to fight any danger. You're just putting to sleep all these instincts that took billion years to develop. well staying at home and walking only when there is a green light, it definitely a good way to survive, but it's totally not fun. life isn't about staying at home and not getting hurt. getting hurt is.
I’m in Glides........................Japanese...............*glades* NO.....?
How bad was the foot injury I guess is the question.
This insightful nice man has given you the most powerful word in real magic. The word "NO." Such a trivial word of The King's English. Such an awesome weapon against the forces of Evil & Good. The second most powerful word in real magic is the word, "YES." Yes, diminishes your magic to the second tier of reality. In the Anglo realm of existence, "NO" is the male dominance over creation. The retribution as well as the acceptance of ideas. "Yes," is the conceived manifestation of the female. Does this make the female weaker? It does not. Such is the dualism of Mystical powers. As in much symbolism of this era, (like the Hour Glass). The understood precepts of Father Sky & Mother Earth, for one, are duplicity at it's highest. Such commanding words are the most powerful in many religious hierarchy's. This kind soul has unwittingly revealed such a power that has changed nations.
Ok so what opportunity happened for this guy?
Ty
No!
thanx .
wow his father is severe
Started out by saying "so" ..... /sad.
No now so I can say yes later
Aye My Man
Who is watching in 2019?
5:45 ủa chỗ này là sao ta?
You have an upstairs and a room . That’s living in Lala land to so many . How can a person be a public speaker and not address the general people with a sense to relate to everyone. “ The art of global thinking “
appricate it
Came here after saying yes to a job I hate
06:10 NO, NOT EVERY OPTION. But MANY : YES we make Iphone, YES, we make Ipad, YES WE CAN. YES, we can be EQUAL.
Yesn't.
TEDx needs to stop putting on misleading titles on its videos. I don't think this video justifies "The Art of Saying No"
The word "literally" ruins my day.
Hello I have a big problem. My dad is a musician. He started maybe not forcing me (I was 3 years old I can't remember if I asked or I agreed or if he forced me) to play piano. I don't like piano(and I'm 13 now btw) . Big problem: him and his parents love seeing me playing piano. Another problem: he kinda forces me to play and practice by threatening to stop doing the things we(fishing) like if I don't practice. He really rarely hit me because I would not play well anymore but I was to scared to say to him that I didn't like piano thinking him and his grandparents would be sad I had stopped. How can I say no to continuing?? Right now I'm in another phase where I hate doing piano so he said that if I don't play at least 10min a day he would deactivate the wifi for all of the family. Although I highly doubt that mom will agree on that I think it will lead to an argument and I will get blamed for it.... Help!
Just sit next to him and explain him calmly buddy, you're 13 yet u don't want to do the thing u hate for rest of yr life.
As said in the video yr father may feel harsh about it and they may get angry on u, but atleast u will be happy in a longer-term.
@@kotresh you posted this a day too late but this is kinda what happened... He asked me to go play piano so I go to him with a depressed look on my face. He asked me why do you do this every time you play piano? Do you want to continue or stop? If you want to stop then tell me there is /no problem/ so after all of the times he asked me this question I finally said I wanted to stop. With a surprised face on his face he replies so you don't want to play with your grandpa any more ever? - Yes. - OK then go tell your mom to cancel the inscriptions. I don't wanna talk about music anymore with you. Then today I guess he accepted it sooo yeah and he even bringed me to go fishing so I
guess he's fine with it now. Thanks for replying still kind stranger!
@@pouletbidule9831 congrats buddy, I'm happy for you
💙😊
NO
Haha yes I have not learnt to say no
I say no to saying no.
No
Came here after I got text from my ex
No man!
okay.
Say NO to this video and don't waste 10min of your life
Search for betterment, and you will realize how many unnecessary "no" you had.
no
ez
Waste of time. 5 mins are a story of childhood with no moral.
Cool content! I recently also made a video on a similar topic, I advise you to watch!
This was a kind of word salad to me.
11 minutes just to say NO ?
EHM..
I am fascinated by the subject of "saying no" and the title got my attention. But what a messy and confusing speech! This guy misses the clarity and common sense in building his story. Where is the art of saying no? You can say it in so many ways and finding the right one IS the art. Here Kenny presented some stories that to me seemed utterly unrelated. In fact, as children, most of us are paralyzed by a zillion of "no"s and in my opinion, it is liberating to get out of those cages.
boring..
well that was underwhelming..