Emily, you had me crying. I am old enough to be your mom. I am very proud of how you are handling this situation. You have a good head on your shoulders. It’s very reassuring that you are seeing a therapist and immersing yourself in your book. They say, if you fall down seven times, get up eight. The kittens are getting so big. I love their names! Is Blossom still coming for her meals? You have such a loving and giving soul. I love cats also and have had ferals for years. Some come and go, others stay. I just want to give you a big hug🤗 Love you girl. We are all here for you.
One other thing I wanted ro say, go places that you enjoy, places that you would go to with a soul mate or by yourself. Because you might find a single person who enjoys the same things, and they are there just like you.
I was probably married more years than you are old and now divorced for eleven years. Sundays and holidays were hard for me and seemed like very long days. I keep reminding myself how alone I felt when married and even in a room with five hundred. I promised myself never to settle for someone just to avoid loneliness. I figure I will know the right one immediately so have refused all invitations for dates. I cried every day for over 15 months. Doctors agreed I was not depressed just grieving the unrequited love and told me to drink plenty of water to avoid dehydration. I go to the movies alone, eat out alone…everything alone. I am excellent company!😅
You hang in there. You will someday meet the right person. In the meantime enjoy your life single. Spend time with family including aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. They are more fun than you realize.
Emily, ALL of your feelings are valid. The grief you are feeling is a loss of not just romance but of friendship as well. IMHO, it doesn't matter if the loss is a romantic partner, a friend, a pet or a family member. It is a loss nonetheless. You are SO smart to go out on your own or with friends and do new things. Take yourself on a picnic, go to a movie, a lecture or a cooking class. Something new that you don't associate with that person is important, too. Do some more thrifting. I, too, love the beach and feel most at home there. Something about the crashing waves or just walking in the water helps. Don't push yourself to pair up just because you are alone!! This SHALL pass, and you will be stronger for it.
My daughter got a divorce when she was in her early thirties. She had two small children. Over 10 years later, she is still single. But, this year she finally met someone. I think there is a future between them. He is has been with her through some trying issues with her teenager and some health issues. When it is right you will meet your soul mate, when you least expect it ! It might take time, but enjoy life. Don't let it stop you from doing what you love. Life is too short. Make the best of it !
I’ve been where you are and I hated every minute of it…for 5 years. I tried to make the best of it but always felt like a fraud. I came to realize I didn’t miss the person, just the feeling of being with someone vs being alone. I once went to see a movie on a weekday around noon and was literally the only person in the theater 😅 (a very weird feeling).I had to push myself way out of my comfort zone and eventually met my spouse who I’ve now been with for 17 years. Keeping yourself busy definitely helps. I wish you all the best, hang in there! ❤
Oh my gosh!! You are totally adorable. I know exactly how you feel...we are 'nurturers'. Be happy...you need someone that will truly appreciate your soft, caring heart. Don't look.... just live. The right one will come along. Patience my dear. New subscriber sending BIG hugs from Texas! 🤠🤠💖💖
Hang in there and share all you want. We can all relate in some way. For a date you might try geocaching. I love to geocache alone because I enjoy the hunt and the find. If you don’t know what it is just google it. Once again hang in and on and love yourself.
I’ve waited awhile to see this video because I didn’t want to see you sad. But I felt like I wasn’t supporting you. Please know that I am praying for you.
@emilyretro 😢I’m so sorry you are feeling so alone. But you are so right to be single…for awhile. Continue with your therapy, swimming, reading and going to beach! Just know…your videos give me such joy. I have gained such an appreciation of vintage items. It brings me soothing memories of happier times when I don’t feel well. Thank you for all you do and share. ❤
Love you Emily. You take care of yourself. I live 5 minutes from Lake Huron and I totally need to see and hear those waves. Keep swimming, keep reading, keep posting videos even if you are sitting in the sand. We will watch Lake Michigan with you.
I also love almond croissants at a place called LA Madeline's French Cafe here in Texas. A trip to an antique store always cheers me up, or to Ross or Marshall's. Sit and enjoy a cup of tea and toast with preserves I get at Ross or Marshall's.
Emily, I am so sorry to hear things have been so difficult for you lately. I cried a little bit listening to you. I want to share something that has helped me during sad times-I love rereading books I loved as a child. It really brings me a lot of joy, so I definitely recommend it if you like to read. Maybe you could take yourself on a date to the library! 📚💚
1. I’m local ish and love to thrift store shop. I often go alone if you ever wanna partner to go shopping with let me know. 2. Have you thought about going to paint a pot in Holland? It maybe a fun thing to do on your own date?🎉
You are beautiful, sweet and kind and way too young to be worried of staying alone forever .... This is just a transition state in your life .. old chapter is closed because you deserve much better.. you are at the entry of new chapter in your life which eventually leading you one day to be at the right place to finlay meet the right one and doing the right things and experiencing new moments.... Cherish and enjoy this quiet singlehood for the time being , enjoy these 2 love bundles you welcomed in to your home 🐈🐈⬛ because one day you will look back remembering these moments in your life and you will just smile..😊 ( This came from the story of my life , If I want to be honest with you Emily! ❤)
Well miss Emily I think you need to love your self first!!!!you can not take baggage in your life clear every sad memories away. Self confidence really brings peace .So start there and watch the change.
When I was single and hating it I kept busy with short events where I could network or mingle for short periods instead of longer trips and joined my industry association clubs (like American Marketing Assoc) and went to their lunches or trade events….and made friends their! I got to socialize/ spend time ‘alone together’. I volunteered at the library gift shop on weekends. I was never was brave enuf to eat out alone so you are doing a GREAT job already. I also actually had a blast being a ‘third wheel’ with a friend and her boyfriend. We went to comedy show or I would meet them for an app/one drink in a bar on their date to visit and just would go home when they had their restaurant Reservations time. Short snippets of friend time then it felt OK eating popcorn and watching a movie home alone. I hosted co workers and friends for home parties like Tupperware - it ended up being fun I also joined a book club that net 1x a month.
I'm so sorry you're going through this but, I've been there, it will change, you will feel better. Also on a practical note, I felt very lonely in my early 40's and I really missed having someone to do "things" with especially movies (horror), so I started a meet up group in 2007 and every other Saturday we would go to horror movies, I met lots of new female friends and some male, our group had married people, single people, all kinds of people, it was great experience, try it with whatever your hobbies are. Me dates for me are museums and historic locations. I really think you should start a thrifting meet up!
I just want to come hug you. I’m a deep feeler as well so I understand the depth of your pain. A wonderful practice I learned is to spend some time imagining and journaling out the exact perfect relationship for you. Don’t try to tell yourself that’s too much, or that perfect person doesn’t exist. Just believe it exists and it belongs to you fully. You will feel better even if for a while. Don’t be surprised when that “perfect” version just walks right into your life. ❤ Hugs
It's the worst feeling ❤ you need to grieve those relationships, you've moved and that is also incredibly stressful. So listen to Becky and other friends. Keep busy and active and you'll come out the other side just fine.
Ok... You got this! NY at christmas... Window displays, any of the museums, seeing the tree, ice skating at Rockefeller center, frozen hot chocolate at serendipity (If that's still a thing) cheap seat matinee of a production, (also I saw When Harry met Sally being filmed...the scene when they are walking down the sidewalk in the fall..great NY memory. I'm sorry you are sad but you are dealing with it in a healthy way.
I hope this doesn’t come across as me trying to minimize or detract from your experience in any way, but I wanted to tell you that many of us envy the very human experience of falling in love even for it to end in heartbreak. I don’t mean you should feel lucky to be feeling this way or “it could be worse” but I hope there is comfort to be found in knowing that it truly is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
Have you tried laying down on the floor to get the kittens to come to you? I did that when I rescued a feral kitten and it took me two days. The second day I did it the kitten was so curious it couldn't stop itself from coming over and eventually climbing on my back while I laid there still and in a very soft tone talking to it. Worked like a charm. 🐈
Being alone is horrible when you so want a relationship. I was there for many, many years. What was worse was being in an unhappy relationship just not to be alone. For me it helped to walk, exercise , go to movies, out to eat, read and work on liking myself. It took many, many years for me to find the right person. And now, I see how every experience, bad dates, broken hearts, loneliness and brokenness led me right to where I am today…happily married. You need to feel every bit of the grief, sadness and loneliness you are feeling. Just don’t let it get out of hand…..and it sounds like you are taking the right steps. I wish I could hug you…..and tell you everything will be ok.
Emily- I really appreciate you sharing this and wish you the absolute best in this journey. I have been married 19 years and I got married when I was 23 but the ability to be confident and comfortable on my own is still so important to me. My husband and I don't always have all of the same interests or preferences to how our time is spent and so I do a lot on my own. I go on trips by myself (next year I'm going to France for 2 weeks on my own!), I go to the farmers market and eat breakfast on my own most times, etc. It isn't always easy and sometimes I just wish he would want to do what I want to do but we are our own people and I don't want to go to the wrestling matches he attends so it is all even! 😂 I think this time in your life will only make you stronger for both now and the time in the future when you have your person. If you need any other friends in your trip to Chicago, let me know! I live near the Wolff's Flea Market and usually go alone since my husband doesn't like waking up at 6am on Sunday 😂 P.S. I just adore your silly kitties!
My boyfriends sister called her kittens Liquids because they’re so fast and won’t settle when they’re kittens! I thought that was the perfect explanation 😂
Awwww congrats on adopting the kitties! I assume you also are keeping the mama cat? I can so relate to your sadness with being single. I have never been with anyone who actually loved me, and I am 70 yrs young. I look much younger so people keep telling me. So far. LOL I escaped from an abusive marriage about 20 years ago and I havent even had my rebound person yet. I have had moments of such severe loneliness I could feel it in my bones. The divorce was bad and the leaving and trying to find a place. The past 20 years have been awful, but I am more settled now, only with myself. Im not complaining or feeling sorry for myself. I just want you to know, I get so much out of your videos. The life angst and the fun you get from going vintage. Im an old hippie and grew up in all the things you are embracing. I love being on your journey with you! I just wish I was there in MI. Its been hard for me to find a place to live in that I can afford and really love to be there. But, Im not giving up and I still hope to find someone, like you, who I can give my love and attention to and the same for me back. Hugs to you and the kitties! Mary Ann from Delaware
Thank you for sharing your story & struggles. That was so brave & worth celebrating. I am an older single woman who LOVES being single & independent. Hang in there, continue being you and give yourself the time you need to heal. Sending love and good vibes your way. Rosie and Vera are adorable.❤
I understand. Lost my husband of 52 years, 2 1/2 years ago. I feel very alone, and I just take it one day at a time, and try to appreciate everyday, and find some beauty and friendship in the casual everyday moments. Take care of you, get a pet! 🐾🐾
You are a strong person to create this video. You are stronger than you realize. You aren’t just grieving the loss of the relationship but also the loss of what you thought your future was going to be. Give yourself grace. You will get through this. Prayers & hugs are being sent your way.
I’m such a dork! I wrote my comment b4 I saw the end of the video! Yay! You are playing string with them! It will work I promise!! However I have to tell you that you need to be careful especially with that curly ribbon because they can eat it and it can get tangled up in there intestines 😱 that is a big problem. Yarn is better and just be sure to put it away in a drawer when you are not playing with them. I know you have had cats b4 but I did not know if you were aware that it could be a concern.
You are doing great! It is a bummer but you have to go through all the feelings, it is healthy and human. I have been there and it sucks but what I have found is that once I hit rock bottom with time I would come back up to the surface and feel happier and stronger than I ever thought possible. You will get through this and everything will work out just how it is ment to. Enjoy the time you are getting to spend with yourself, learn to love being in your own company you may be surprised how much you actually enjoy yourself! 😃 Regarding the kittens you really need to get some yarn and play with them because you can bring the yarn up next to you and they will not be able to resist! It may take time but eventually you will have them playing at your feet and even climbing up your legs or onto your lap. Just don’t reach for them at least not at first after you can tell they are more comfortable being right next to you you can try and sneak some quick little touches. That’s what I did with mine and it worked great. They were heaven sent to bring you comfort 💗 Big hugs 💗💗💗
You are a very special person. I understand what you're going through. But it sounds like you are on the right path. Becky sounds like a very wise person. I'm glad you have her as a friend. Your two kitties are beautiful! They'll come around and cuddle with you before you know it.
Emily, one thing I learned years ago is that you don't get over hard things, you get through them! Forged through the fire! You are doing great. Stay true to yourself, but as a mom of daughters your age-please be careful going to isolated areas alone. Always stay where people are near and stay safe. I have always found yoga to be stress relieving-and maybe you could meet friends in a class? Self-love and self-care are very important.
Sending you a virtual hug from the other side of Lake Michigan.🤗 Being barefoot on the beach is an *amazing* form of therapy - there's real science behind grounding and the effect it has on our mind and body. Spending more time barefoot on the grass or sand has really helped ease my anxiety, depression, and inflammation. We're so blessed to live near a great lake! 🙂
Emily, I am just now seeing this. I am sending you love and light! You are very self-aware, which is a good thing! I think sharing your struggles is not only helpful to you, but helpful to some of us who have or are feeling the same way. Thank you for this video; you are brave and you got this!!!
Hi Emily, I feel your loneliness, I’m sorry you’re going through that, it’s not fun, but keep hope, things always get better again, I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out, I’m married 45 years to my total opposite which isn’t always easy, we have our own interests and so our own things but always get back together at the end of the day, we feel totally at peace together and comfortable and I’ll pray you find that perfect relationship where you will find that peace, love and security that a body craves 🙏
It will get better Emily. It sounds like you are doing so many great things to get there. Your friend from Aldi sounds amazing. Maybe learning to be content being alone is just what you need. Love your channel.
I'm so sorry you are in a difficult time. I've been single for a long time. My advice is to do what you need to do. Do things that.made you happy before the relationship. You like to go to thrift stores so do that often.❤
Hugs to you. I've been there♥️. Therapy and friends make it tolerable. I did self dates as well- taking myself out to eat, on a hike, small international trips. It renewed my faith in myself and my resiliency. Time makes things better and it's the universe opening you up to better things. Things happen for us, not to us. ✨
I'm glad you shared this video. I have had a very sad summer as well as I had 4 outside cats that I had no money to spay had baby kittens and most of the ones in my back yard died. 5 in the front lived and I adopted 3 to join the other 9 in our house. I'm also alone and widdowed so sometimes get lonely.sad, and depressed. I hope and wish that you will be able to move on in healthy ways as it seems you are at this time. I hope your pain will soon heal as well.
Emily, sending hugs from across the pond. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to me and very on top of how you feel. Heartbreak is so hard I know. If you live near a big city with a booth for last minute theatre tickets, you can often get an amazing deal on top shows selling off the last seat in a row. Bargains to be had! Going to the theatre alone is low risk because theatre lovers tend to be friendly types in my experience, especially at musicals. I salute you on the croissant and baked good quest. The best type of quest! Sarah x
I really appreciate you being this open Emily. I was single until I was 27 and I definitely struggled with loneliness at times too. I’m really proud now looking back at how I became so independent and did things for myself. I’ve been in a 5 1/2 year relationship now at 34 years old. Suggestions to do for yourself- Take yourself camping where you feel safe! You’ve got this! -Kelsie
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I understand more than you know. Sending you much love and prayers. For your me dates just do things that you love to do and places that you love to go without the worry of always needing someone to go with you! Life is short! Wishing you everything wonderful.
I want to be your mamas. Here’s a great big hug! You are special and so kind. When you need to cry cry. I love the self date ideals. You are beautiful and you matter. You are loved by many. ❤ sometimes we have to go thru heartache. You will be better and stronger.
I'm sorry you are having a challenging time, but it will get better. Though I am quite a bit older than you, I was in a comparable situation when I was in my late twenties, and I think you are on the right track. Only after I had become comfortable with being alone and doing things by myself, like going to the movies, restaurants, and flea markets, did I find my soul mate. Best of luck to you and I look froward to more videos from you, when you are able.
Thank you for sharing your story. I really hope this video helps you to feel better and stronger. You need to remember that You Are Enough! You are such a sweet, caring, confident, creative, awesome person that when you do finally meet that special person in your life he/she will be knocked on his/her ass! 😊💚👏💛🐈⬛
That's a lovely video Emily, I hope it helped you and other people too. My arts and crafts always elevate my mood so I would like to encourage you to set up a craft area in your house and do those paint by numbers you bought and sew and make things so you can enjoy being alone in your home too. I can feel so sad and when I make something it lifts my spirits. I Fought a "C" battle for a year and a half recently and couldn't get out much. I made 21 crochet blankets and I think they saved my life! I gave 20 of them away when I was well and it was a great feeling. Hugs.
Thank you so much for sharing about your C battle and how crafting saved you. That’s so meaningful, I appreciate you sharing ❤️ great suggestion about the paint by numbers.
A real enjoyable place to go on your own is one of those butterfly release buildings where those tiny beings seem to take your burdens away with lighter than air personalitys.I found this place later in life and find it a joy.Youll get through this,easy to say but it does happen.
❤Thank you for your honesty. There is no need to suffer in silence. There are a lot of people giving you virtual hugs and support right now. Youre doing great! Good days, bad days, you've got this! And...you've got adorable kittens. ❤
My favorite thing to do by myself is going to the movies! I don’t have to share popcorn, I don’t have to listen to chatter during the movie, I can sit where I choose. Try it!
You are brave to share your struggles with so many in hopes of helping. I envy that. I'm like you, I hate being alone. I love my alone time, but without a partner, I feel so sad. As far as Me-dates, I would recommend hitting up groupon for some fun activities you can try around your town. For instance, we have glass blowing classes, mixology courses, and cooking classes. It's fun to learn new things and meet new people with similar interest. And for pampering, get a massage. That's my favorite me-activity. black cats are my favorite. I have two of my own and a blue point Siamese. She's such a ham; I love her. Congratulations on your new babies. Also, we have a chair that I got at an estate sale for like $25, and it's like all the cats know that it's the one to destroy. But it makes it more rustic in my opinion.
Yes exactly, I have no problem being alone when I have a partner. But when there’s nobody there it’s a completely different story. Thanks for your support ❤️ and that’s so cute about your cats 😂😂😂 I’m looking at Groupon now!
I just want to encourage you and be your cheerleader. It's good that you've decided to let yourself heal before dating again. It's a great gift to yourself You'll do great.🤗
Sending you virtual hugs, hand squeezes, and warm cinnamon buns. You are going through a big scary thing, but you can and will weather the storm! As for a me-date idea, maybe taking a class of some kind? Also, I noticed your cozy sweater immediately and am in LOVE with it!
Sending you big, big hugs!!! Emily, it sounds like you are making a lot of really good decisions for yourself even through the grief. If baked goods help (they're my coping tool too!) so be it! My favorite me-date is Halloween hunting (really just browsing). I know you love Halloween too but you're not feeling it yet this year. I'm hoping the apple orchard is magical for you this year! 🖤🧡🤍🖤🧡🤍
Hi Emily my heart aches for you 😢..I was with my daughters father for many years and 95% of that time was just misery because I put up with a bad relationship because I didn't want to be alone..but eventually it ended and for awhile I was enjoying having all the freedom to do what I wanted. Then I started to get lonely and made the mistake of going down the rabbit hole of online dating 😵💫 after a load of dates with men that despite saying they were after a relationship the reality was they weren't..and I thought I was the problem and there was something wrong with me.. this eventually led me to severe depression to the point where I struggled getting out of bed..wasn't eating properly..just a mess 😔 then I met my now husband and by the time I was into a relationship with him I realised something was mentally not right with him ( eventually he was diagnosed with schizophrenia..)and after 2 years there was a catastrophic break up. I was just devastated and it was like he had died. I grieved so badly..I would just make it home from work and just spend my time sobbing...weekends were a nightmare because I was by myself as my daughter by this time had a boyfriend and was spending weekends at his house and eventually moved in with him so i would just cry non-stop..to cut a long story short 7 months later we got back together but it would be another 5 years before he got his medical diagnosis and life dealing with all that was tough and he has now been on medication since so life is now quiet normal thankfully..just give yourself time to heal..spend time with family..good friends..stay away from online dating sites..keep super busy..and get professional counselling it does help..it's tough when like me you feel like your life isn't complete unless your in a relationship 😔 you will get through this just learn to love and lookafter yourself first ❤️ ❤💐💐💐💐💐
I am so sorry you had such a tough time but thank you for sharing your experience! I have done online dating and met some good people, just not the right one for me. I’m so glad things are better now for you!
Emily, I noticed a lot of advice from women here understandably. I found your channel because I came upon your video about hanging clothing on a cloths line and wanted to see your other videos because I'm a mid century modern nut and like to see videos from like minded people. I saw this video of yours about your grief and before I finished watching I wanted to say a few things from a guys point of view. You probably already know everything I'm going to say, if so, forgive me. You are the age of my kids but seem to have a bit of an older soul. I hear a lot of single women say "there are not any good single guys out there" or "all the good guys are taken". That is just not true. Guys say the same things about women. In general, men and women just go about things so differently so often. You guys being the nurturers and we being the provider protectors and fixers. I'm talking in general with a broad brush. There is a perfect mate for you out there. If you go about your life, doing the things you love to do, being around people and things you enjoy, you will put yourself around men who have similar interests. It is mostly true if you stop looking for a mate, one will show up in the check out isle at the store or at some place you frequent. Even then, there is no guarantee they are the one. There are no guarantee at all the person you choose will be the one. I joke with my lovely wife that women search for the perfect man...then change them. I say that in jest with a tinge of truth with some women. There are a lot of stereotypes about men that are very true. The knuckle dragging, beer swilling, sports watching, womanizing lazy slobs are everywhere. I would bet the loving, kind, thoughtful, caring, listening, spontaneous, funny guys are in the great minority. But there are out there. If you are a believer in Jesus and trust that God orders the steps of those that love Him. You can let go of the searching. Love God, get to know Him better, go about your life and before you know it some guy is interested in who you are out of the blue and you didn't see it coming. A little known secret to women is that the less a woman appears interested, the more the guy is interested. To a degree of course. If you are nice and sweet naturally to a guy but do not pursue him. He will do whatever he has to to get your attention. Don't compromise your values with any guy. If he suggests you do, he exposes his character. On the other hand, if you don't show just enough interest, he may just see you as a friend and nothing more. If women only knew the power they had over men, they would be dangerous. Remember no guy is perfect and no woman is perfect. Since you were married before, you know relationships are full of compromises to get along. Smart guys have figured out to apologize even when we think we are right. I sometimes tell my wife "whatever I did that made you mad or sad, I meant the other thing". Then she laughs and it's over. When you are single you always get to do things your way. It's been said that relationships are 50/50. That is wrong. It should be 100/100. You should each give each other 100% of yourself. It's not a competition of who did more or who loves or cares more. I sure hope I have not upset you or made things worse. I just kind of broke my heart that you were upset. If only you knew the great things that are in store for you in life. Take care, know that I'm praying for you for wisdom and supernatural peace.
Being alone is not as scary as being with the wrong person.
Be the one person you can depend on for yourself!❤❤
Emily, you had me crying. I am old enough to be your mom. I am very proud of how you are handling this situation. You have a good head on your shoulders. It’s very reassuring that you are seeing a therapist and immersing yourself in your book. They say, if you fall down seven times, get up eight.
The kittens are getting so big. I love their names! Is Blossom still coming for her meals? You have such a loving and giving soul. I love cats also and have had ferals for years. Some come and go, others stay.
I just want to give you a big hug🤗
Love you girl. We are all here for you.
So sorry I made you cry but thanks for the support ❤️ I plan on giving a Blossom update soon but waiting until things are 100% settled ☺️
Oh good :) I was wondering about blossom too @@emilyretro
We grow from our discomfort. Self-love is what's needed now. Hang in there, love. You will come out the other side of this stronger and much happier.
Thank you ❤️
So many of us have gone through times like this, but we come out stronger. ❤
Thank you 🥲❤️
Taking an art class is helpful, focus on a subject that you can do alone yet you meet people with like minds❣️
One other thing I wanted ro say, go places that you enjoy, places that you would go to with a soul mate or by yourself. Because you might find a single person who enjoys the same things, and they are there just like you.
I was probably married more years than you are old and now divorced for eleven years. Sundays and holidays were hard for me and seemed like very long days. I keep reminding myself how alone I felt when married and even in a room with five hundred. I promised myself never to settle for someone just to avoid loneliness. I figure I will know the right one immediately so have refused all invitations for dates. I cried every day for over 15 months. Doctors agreed I was not depressed just grieving the unrequited love and told me to drink plenty of water to avoid dehydration. I go to the movies alone, eat out alone…everything alone. I am excellent company!😅
You hang in there. You will someday meet the right person. In the meantime enjoy your life single. Spend time with family including aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. They are more fun than you realize.
Emily, ALL of your feelings are valid. The grief you are feeling is a loss of not just romance but of friendship as well. IMHO, it doesn't matter if the loss is a romantic partner, a friend, a pet or a family member. It is a loss nonetheless. You are SO smart to go out on your own or with friends and do new things. Take yourself on a picnic, go to a movie, a lecture or a cooking class. Something new that you don't associate with that person is important, too. Do some more thrifting. I, too, love the beach and feel most at home there. Something about the crashing waves or just walking in the water helps. Don't push yourself to pair up just because you are alone!! This SHALL pass, and you will be stronger for it.
My daughter got a divorce when she was in her early thirties. She had two small children. Over 10 years later, she is still single. But, this year she finally met someone. I think there is a future between them. He is has been with her through some trying issues with her teenager and some health issues. When it is right you will meet your soul mate, when you least expect it ! It might take time, but enjoy life. Don't let it stop you from doing what you love. Life is too short. Make the best of it !
so glad you found a good therapist! and a beautiful spot by the water to heal.
I’ve been where you are and I hated every minute of it…for 5 years. I tried to make the best of it but always felt like a fraud. I came to realize I didn’t miss the person, just the feeling of being with someone vs being alone. I once went to see a movie on a weekday around noon and was literally the only person in the theater 😅 (a very weird feeling).I had to push myself way out of my comfort zone and eventually met my spouse who I’ve now been with for 17 years. Keeping yourself busy definitely helps. I wish you all the best, hang in there! ❤
Oh my gosh!! You are totally adorable. I know exactly how you feel...we are 'nurturers'. Be happy...you need someone that will truly appreciate your soft, caring heart. Don't look.... just live. The right one will come along. Patience my dear. New subscriber sending BIG hugs from Texas! 🤠🤠💖💖
Hang in there and share all you want. We can all relate in some way. For a date you might try geocaching. I love to geocache alone because I enjoy the hunt and the find. If you don’t know what it is just google it. Once again hang in and on and love yourself.
All our love and support❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’ve waited awhile to see this video because I didn’t want to see you sad. But I felt like I wasn’t supporting you. Please know that I am praying for you.
I am looking to do a cruise alone. Will be so nice and relaxing without the extra company.
@emilyretro 😢I’m so sorry you are feeling so alone. But you are so right to be single…for awhile. Continue with your therapy, swimming, reading and going to beach! Just know…your videos give me such joy. I have gained such an appreciation of vintage items. It brings me soothing memories of happier times when I don’t feel well. Thank you for all you do and share. ❤
Aw thank you and I’m glad you find joy here 🥲❤️
Next to losing a loved one, heartbreak is the next deepest grief we will experience. Time does heal all wounds. Everything will be okay!
I've been on my own for about 20 years now. I have a big group of friends and sometimes I get lonely too.
Don't cry sweetie 😢
Love you Emily. You take care of yourself. I live 5 minutes from Lake Huron and I totally need to see and hear those waves. Keep swimming, keep reading, keep posting videos even if you are sitting in the sand. We will watch Lake Michigan with you.
I also love almond croissants at a place called LA Madeline's French Cafe here in Texas. A trip to an antique store always cheers me up, or to Ross or Marshall's. Sit and enjoy a cup of tea and toast with preserves I get at Ross or Marshall's.
Emily, I am so sorry to hear things have been so difficult for you lately. I cried a little bit listening to you. I want to share something that has helped me during sad times-I love rereading books I loved as a child. It really brings me a lot of joy, so I definitely recommend it if you like to read. Maybe you could take yourself on a date to the library! 📚💚
Awwww what a sweet idea about the kids books! I do reread Harry Potter often because it makes me so happy ❤️
@@emilyretro Yes!!! HP is my favorite 🤩
1. I’m local ish and love to thrift store shop. I often go alone if you ever wanna partner to go shopping with let me know. 2. Have you thought about going to paint a pot in Holland? It maybe a fun thing to do on your own date?🎉
I painted a ceramic Christmas tree with my mom at paint a pot but that was years ago. Maybe I’ll have to try it again, good suggestion ☺️
You are wonderful don't let 1 bad apple ruin the future 😢😊smile sweetie . new is the new way
Stay busy trust me I've been with my husband 43 yrs I can't imagine what you're going through
You are beautiful, sweet and kind and way too young to be worried of staying alone forever .... This is just a transition state in your life .. old chapter is closed because you deserve much better.. you are at the entry of new chapter in your life which eventually leading you one day to be at the right place to finlay meet the right one and doing the right things and experiencing new moments.... Cherish and enjoy this quiet singlehood for the time being , enjoy these 2 love bundles you welcomed in to your home 🐈🐈⬛ because one day you will look back remembering these moments in your life and you will just smile..😊 ( This came from the story of my life , If I want to be honest with you Emily! ❤)
Thank you your comment brought grateful tears to my eyes 🥲
Wish I lived close enough to come over and give you a mom hug! ❤
Well miss Emily I think you need to love your self first!!!!you can not take baggage in your life clear every sad memories away. Self confidence really brings peace .So start there and watch the change.
When I was single and hating it I kept busy with short events where I could network or mingle for short periods instead of longer trips and joined my industry association clubs (like American Marketing Assoc) and went to their lunches or trade events….and made friends their! I got to socialize/ spend time ‘alone together’. I volunteered at the library gift shop on weekends. I was never was brave enuf to eat out alone so you are doing a GREAT job already. I also actually had a blast being a ‘third wheel’ with a friend and her boyfriend. We went to comedy show or I would meet them for an app/one drink in a bar on their date to visit and just would go home when they had their restaurant Reservations time. Short snippets of friend time then it felt OK eating popcorn and watching a movie home alone. I hosted co workers and friends for home parties like Tupperware - it ended up being fun I also joined a book club that net 1x a month.
I'm so sorry you're going through this but, I've been there, it will change, you will feel better. Also on a practical note, I felt very lonely in my early 40's and I really missed having someone to do "things" with especially movies (horror), so I started a meet up group in 2007 and every other Saturday we would go to horror movies, I met lots of new female friends and some male, our group had married people, single people, all kinds of people, it was great experience, try it with whatever your hobbies are. Me dates for me are museums and historic locations. I really think you should start a thrifting meet up!
I just want to come hug you. I’m a deep feeler as well so I understand the depth of your pain. A wonderful practice I learned is to spend some time imagining and journaling out the exact perfect relationship for you. Don’t try to tell yourself that’s too much, or that perfect person doesn’t exist. Just believe it exists and it belongs to you fully. You will feel better even if for a while. Don’t be surprised when that “perfect” version just walks right into your life. ❤ Hugs
I just started doing this 🥲❤️ thank you for the encouragement!
❤ hang in there I’m a good listener😊
It's the worst feeling ❤ you need to grieve those relationships, you've moved and that is also incredibly stressful. So listen to Becky and other friends. Keep busy and active and you'll come out the other side just fine.
Ok... You got this! NY at christmas... Window displays, any of the museums, seeing the tree, ice skating at Rockefeller center, frozen hot chocolate at serendipity (If that's still a thing) cheap seat matinee of a production, (also I saw When Harry met Sally being filmed...the scene when they are walking down the sidewalk in the fall..great NY memory. I'm sorry you are sad but you are dealing with it in a healthy way.
I AM SO JEALOUS YOU SAW THEM FILMING THAT MOVIE. OMG I WOULD HAVE DIED OF HAPPINESS 😭😭😭😭
@@emilyretro You never know.. on your visit, you might catch some filming happening somewhere. 🤞🤞🙂
Emotions are a gift because they exist to tell us something. They point out the parts of our lives that need attention.
I hope this doesn’t come across as me trying to minimize or detract from your experience in any way, but I wanted to tell you that many of us envy the very human experience of falling in love even for it to end in heartbreak. I don’t mean you should feel lucky to be feeling this way or “it could be worse” but I hope there is comfort to be found in knowing that it truly is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
I know that to be true and the pain is worth the love I received, even if it wasn’t permanent ❤️
I’ve been there too. I’m proud of you being so honest with yourself ❤
Aldi has wonderful croissants as well.
With your love of animals maybe try a year pass to a zoo near you/you could even try sketching the animals
Take care
Have you tried laying down on the floor to get the kittens to come to you? I did that when I rescued a feral kitten and it took me two days. The second day I did it the kitten was so curious it couldn't stop itself from coming over and eventually climbing on my back while I laid there still and in a very soft tone talking to it. Worked like a charm. 🐈
I was going to suggest the same thing!
I have laid on my back but it sounds like you laid on your stomach. Maybe I’ll try that instead 😄
Being alone is horrible when you so want a relationship. I was there for many, many years. What was worse was being in an unhappy relationship just not to be alone. For me it helped to walk, exercise , go to movies, out to eat, read and work on liking myself. It took many, many years for me to find the right person. And now, I see how every experience, bad dates, broken hearts, loneliness and brokenness led me right to where I am today…happily married.
You need to feel every bit of the grief, sadness and loneliness you are feeling. Just don’t let it get out of hand…..and it sounds like you are taking the right steps.
I wish I could hug you…..and tell you everything will be ok.
Thank you for sharing and it’s very helpful for me to hear people having happy endings after they dealt with being single ❤️
Emily- I really appreciate you sharing this and wish you the absolute best in this journey. I have been married 19 years and I got married when I was 23 but the ability to be confident and comfortable on my own is still so important to me. My husband and I don't always have all of the same interests or preferences to how our time is spent and so I do a lot on my own. I go on trips by myself (next year I'm going to France for 2 weeks on my own!), I go to the farmers market and eat breakfast on my own most times, etc. It isn't always easy and sometimes I just wish he would want to do what I want to do but we are our own people and I don't want to go to the wrestling matches he attends so it is all even! 😂 I think this time in your life will only make you stronger for both now and the time in the future when you have your person. If you need any other friends in your trip to Chicago, let me know! I live near the Wolff's Flea Market and usually go alone since my husband doesn't like waking up at 6am on Sunday 😂 P.S. I just adore your silly kitties!
I love Wolffs! 2 weeks by yourself in France?! Wow im very impressed I wanna be like you when I grow up 😂
I understand you so well. Thank you for sharing. im 65 it's scary when you get older.
Hang in there, Kathy ❤️
Maybe catch a broadway show while in NYC too :)
I like the decor
My boyfriends sister called her kittens Liquids because they’re so fast and won’t settle when they’re kittens! I thought that was the perfect explanation 😂
Rosie & Vera 🥰 “Sisters, sisters, there were never more adoring sisters!” Keep being you, Emily Retro ⭐️ you’re lovely
Awwww congrats on adopting the kitties! I assume you also are keeping the mama cat? I can so relate to your sadness with being single. I have never been with anyone who actually loved me, and I am 70 yrs young. I look much younger so people keep telling me. So far. LOL I escaped from an abusive marriage about 20 years ago and I havent even had my rebound person yet. I have had moments of such severe loneliness I could feel it in my bones. The divorce was bad and the leaving and trying to find a place. The past 20 years have been awful, but I am more settled now, only with myself. Im not complaining or feeling sorry for myself. I just want you to know, I get so much out of your videos. The life angst and the fun you get from going vintage. Im an old hippie and grew up in all the things you are embracing. I love being on your journey with you! I just wish I was there in MI. Its been hard for me to find a place to live in that I can afford and really love to be there. But, Im not giving up and I still hope to find someone, like you, who I can give my love and attention to and the same for me back. Hugs to you and the kitties! Mary Ann from Delaware
Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️
@@emilyretro OMG Im having a shame moment after reading what I wrote. Way tooo long! But thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story & struggles. That was so brave & worth celebrating. I am an older single woman who LOVES being single & independent. Hang in there, continue being you and give yourself the time you need to heal. Sending love and good vibes your way. Rosie and Vera are adorable.❤
GOOD FOR YOU THRIVING 👏🥹 I hope to be like you one day 🥲 thanks for your kindness
I understand. Lost my husband of 52 years, 2 1/2 years ago. I feel very alone, and I just take it one day at a time, and try to appreciate everyday, and find some beauty and friendship in the casual everyday moments. Take care of you, get a pet! 🐾🐾
I am so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, Diane ❤️
Gentle hugs to you. Xo
You are a strong person to create this video. You are stronger than you realize. You aren’t just grieving the loss of the relationship but also the loss of what you thought your future was going to be. Give yourself grace. You will get through this. Prayers & hugs are being sent your way.
I’m such a dork! I wrote my comment b4 I saw the end of the video! Yay! You are playing string with them! It will work I promise!! However I have to tell you that you need to be careful especially with that curly ribbon because they can eat it and it can get tangled up in there intestines 😱 that is a big problem.
Yarn is better and just be sure to put it away in a drawer when you are not playing with them.
I know you have had cats b4 but I did not know if you were aware that it could be a concern.
You are doing great! It is a bummer but you have to go through all the feelings, it is healthy and human. I have been there and it sucks but what I have found is that once I hit rock bottom with time I would come back up to the surface and feel happier and stronger than I ever thought possible. You will get through this and everything will work out just how it is ment to. Enjoy the time you are getting to spend with yourself, learn to love being in your own company you may be surprised how much you actually enjoy yourself! 😃
Regarding the kittens you really need to get some yarn and play with them because you can bring the yarn up next to you and they will not be able to resist! It may take time but eventually you will have them playing at your feet and even climbing up your legs or onto your lap. Just don’t reach for them at least not at first after you can tell they are more comfortable being right next to you you can try and sneak some quick little touches. That’s what I did with mine and it worked great.
They were heaven sent to bring you comfort 💗
Big hugs 💗💗💗
You are a very special person. I understand what you're going through. But it sounds like you are on the right path. Becky sounds like a very wise person. I'm glad you have her as a friend. Your two kitties are beautiful! They'll come around and cuddle with you before you know it.
Emily, one thing I learned years ago is that you don't get over hard things, you get through them! Forged through the fire! You are doing great. Stay true to yourself, but as a mom of daughters your age-please be careful going to isolated areas alone. Always stay where people are near and stay safe. I have always found yoga to be stress relieving-and maybe you could meet friends in a class? Self-love and self-care are very important.
I’m trying yoga on the beach tomorrow! ☺️
Hang in there Emily, the right person will come soon enough.
I'd love to hear your me-date ideas! Also, please leave your practical advice in the comments if you've struggled with being single too 💗
Sending you a virtual hug from the other side of Lake Michigan.🤗 Being barefoot on the beach is an *amazing* form of therapy - there's real science behind grounding and the effect it has on our mind and body. Spending more time barefoot on the grass or sand has really helped ease my anxiety, depression, and inflammation. We're so blessed to live near a great lake! 🙂
Emily, I am just now seeing this. I am sending you love and light! You are very self-aware, which is a good thing! I think sharing your struggles is not only helpful to you, but helpful to some of us who have or are feeling the same way. Thank you for this video; you are brave and you got this!!!
Emily never let anybody determine the outcome of your life. Pick yourself up dust yourself off and move on 😊
😢😢😢😢 Emily life gets better never give up there's someone out there for everyone prayers 🙏
Hi Emily, I feel your loneliness, I’m sorry you’re going through that, it’s not fun, but keep hope, things always get better again, I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out, I’m married 45 years to my total opposite which isn’t always easy, we have our own interests and so our own things but always get back together at the end of the day, we feel totally at peace together and comfortable and I’ll pray you find that perfect relationship where you will find that peace, love and security that a body craves 🙏
I admire your courage. So happy you have kitten therapy too :)
It will get better Emily. It sounds like you are doing so many great things to get there. Your friend from Aldi sounds amazing. Maybe learning to be content being alone is just what you need. Love your channel.
Thanks so much ❤️
I'm so sorry you are in a difficult time. I've been single for a long time. My advice is to do what you need to do. Do things that.made you happy before the relationship. You like to go to thrift stores so do that often.❤
Hugs to you. I've been there♥️. Therapy and friends make it tolerable. I did self dates as well- taking myself out to eat, on a hike, small international trips. It renewed my faith in myself and my resiliency. Time makes things better and it's the universe opening you up to better things. Things happen for us, not to us. ✨
I'm glad you shared this video. I have had a very sad summer as well as I had 4 outside cats that I had no money to spay had baby kittens and most of the ones in my back yard died. 5 in the front lived and I adopted 3 to join the other 9 in our house. I'm also alone and widdowed so sometimes get lonely.sad, and depressed. I hope and wish that you will be able to move on in healthy ways as it seems you are at this time. I hope your pain will soon heal as well.
Emily, sending hugs from across the pond. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to me and very on top of how you feel. Heartbreak is so hard I know. If you live near a big city with a booth for last minute theatre tickets, you can often get an amazing deal on top shows selling off the last seat in a row. Bargains to be had! Going to the theatre alone is low risk because theatre lovers tend to be friendly types in my experience, especially at musicals. I salute you on the croissant and baked good quest. The best type of quest! Sarah x
I really appreciate you being this open Emily. I was single until I was 27 and I definitely struggled with loneliness at times too. I’m really proud now looking back at how I became so independent and did things for myself. I’ve been in a 5 1/2 year relationship now at 34 years old. Suggestions to do for yourself- Take yourself camping where you feel safe! You’ve got this! -Kelsie
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I understand more than you know. Sending you much love and prayers. For your me dates just do things that you love to do and places that you love to go without the worry of always needing someone to go with you! Life is short! Wishing you everything wonderful.
I want to be your mamas. Here’s a great big hug! You are special and so kind. When you need to cry cry. I love the self date ideals. You are beautiful and you matter. You are loved by many. ❤ sometimes we have to go thru heartache. You will be better and stronger.
Thanks a bunch 🥲❤️
I'm sorry you are having a challenging time, but it will get better. Though I am quite a bit older than you, I was in a comparable situation when I was in my late twenties, and I think you are on the right track. Only after I had become comfortable with being alone and doing things by myself, like going to the movies, restaurants, and flea markets, did I find my soul mate. Best of luck to you and I look froward to more videos from you, when you are able.
Thank you for sharing your story. I really hope this video helps you to feel better and stronger. You need to remember that You Are Enough! You are such a sweet, caring, confident, creative, awesome person that when you do finally meet that special person in your life he/she will be knocked on his/her ass! 😊💚👏💛🐈⬛
Aw thanks and I actually do feel a lot better 🥲
Emily you are soooo much stronger than think you are.😊
Thanks 😭😭😭
Sending infinite amounts of love Emily! We're in this together ❤️❤️❤️❤️
That's a lovely video Emily, I hope it helped you and other people too. My arts and crafts always elevate my mood so I would like to encourage you to set up a craft area in your house and do those paint by numbers you bought and sew and make things so you can enjoy being alone in your home too. I can feel so sad and when I make something it lifts my spirits. I Fought a "C" battle for a year and a half recently and couldn't get out much. I made 21 crochet blankets and I think they saved my life! I gave 20 of them away when I was well and it was a great feeling. Hugs.
Thank you so much for sharing about your C battle and how crafting saved you. That’s so meaningful, I appreciate you sharing ❤️ great suggestion about the paint by numbers.
A real enjoyable place to go on your own is one of those butterfly release buildings where those tiny beings seem to take your burdens away with lighter than air personalitys.I found this place later in life and find it a joy.Youll get through this,easy to say but it does happen.
I’ve never been to one before. What a great suggestion
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❤Thank you for your honesty. There is no need to suffer in silence. There are a lot of people giving you virtual hugs and support right now. Youre doing great! Good days, bad days, you've got this! And...you've got adorable kittens. ❤
My favorite thing to do by myself is going to the movies! I don’t have to share popcorn, I don’t have to listen to chatter during the movie, I can sit where I choose. Try it!
I have to do that, it’s on my list! 😄
Nature walks helped me soooo much. Thanks for posting this extra personal video. You are helping so many!🎉❤
You are brave to share your struggles with so many in hopes of helping. I envy that. I'm like you, I hate being alone. I love my alone time, but without a partner, I feel so sad. As far as Me-dates, I would recommend hitting up groupon for some fun activities you can try around your town. For instance, we have glass blowing classes, mixology courses, and cooking classes. It's fun to learn new things and meet new people with similar interest. And for pampering, get a massage. That's my favorite me-activity.
black cats are my favorite. I have two of my own and a blue point Siamese. She's such a ham; I love her. Congratulations on your new babies. Also, we have a chair that I got at an estate sale for like $25, and it's like all the cats know that it's the one to destroy. But it makes it more rustic in my opinion.
Yes exactly, I have no problem being alone when I have a partner. But when there’s nobody there it’s a completely different story. Thanks for your support ❤️ and that’s so cute about your cats 😂😂😂 I’m looking at Groupon now!
I just want to encourage you and be your cheerleader. It's good that you've decided to let yourself heal before dating again. It's a great gift to yourself
You'll do great.🤗
Thank you 🥹❤️
Virtual huge hug, love and support ❤❤
Sending you virtual hugs, hand squeezes, and warm cinnamon buns. You are going through a big scary thing, but you can and will weather the storm! As for a me-date idea, maybe taking a class of some kind? Also, I noticed your cozy sweater immediately and am in LOVE with it!
I definitely should try a class! I did find free yoga at the beach so I’m gonna try that. And thanks I’m so happy about the sweater 😄
Thanks for sharing your journey! I'm sure it will help a lot of people. ❤
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Sending you big, big hugs!!! Emily, it sounds like you are making a lot of really good decisions for yourself even through the grief. If baked goods help (they're my coping tool too!) so be it! My favorite me-date is Halloween hunting (really just browsing). I know you love Halloween too but you're not feeling it yet this year. I'm hoping the apple orchard is magical for you this year! 🖤🧡🤍🖤🧡🤍
I started unpacking my Halloween stuff already because it makes me happy 😂😂😂😂😂😂
hi from kenya sorry about that beautiful.
Hi Emily my heart aches for you 😢..I was with my daughters father for many years and 95% of that time was just misery because I put up with a bad relationship because I didn't want to be alone..but eventually it ended and for awhile I was enjoying having all the freedom to do what I wanted. Then I started to get lonely and made the mistake of going down the rabbit hole of online dating 😵💫 after a load of dates with men that despite saying they were after a relationship the reality was they weren't..and I thought I was the problem and there was something wrong with me.. this eventually led me to severe depression to the point where I struggled getting out of bed..wasn't eating properly..just a mess 😔 then I met my now husband and by the time I was into a relationship with him I realised something was mentally not right with him ( eventually he was diagnosed with schizophrenia..)and after 2 years there was a catastrophic break up. I was just devastated and it was like he had died. I grieved so badly..I would just make it home from work and just spend my time sobbing...weekends were a nightmare because I was by myself as my daughter by this time had a boyfriend and was spending weekends at his house and eventually moved in with him so i would just cry non-stop..to cut a long story short 7 months later we got back together but it would be another 5 years before he got his medical diagnosis and life dealing with all that was tough and he has now been on medication since so life is now quiet normal thankfully..just give yourself time to heal..spend time with family..good friends..stay away from online dating sites..keep super busy..and get professional counselling it does help..it's tough when like me you feel like your life isn't complete unless your in a relationship 😔 you will get through this just learn to love and lookafter yourself first ❤️ ❤💐💐💐💐💐
I am so sorry you had such a tough time but thank you for sharing your experience! I have done online dating and met some good people, just not the right one for me. I’m so glad things are better now for you!
@@emilyretro and things will get better for you as well..keep your chin up...keep super busy..and it will happen 😘
XOXO ❤❤❤
❤ sending lots of love!! You’re amazing for sharing this and helping others as well.
Thanks 🥲❤️
❤🤗
Movie suggestion: Under the Tuscan Sun.
Never seen it and I added it to my list ☺️
I go to movies alone but I won't go eat alone 😕
11:35am
Maybe I did that wrong but any way what ever content you want to share I’ll as I’m sure others will laugh cry or shout I’m there for it
Emily, I noticed a lot of advice from women here understandably. I found your channel because I came upon your video about hanging clothing on a cloths line and wanted to see your other videos because I'm a mid century modern nut and like to see videos from like minded people. I saw this video of yours about your grief and before I finished watching I wanted to say a few things from a guys point of view.
You probably already know everything I'm going to say, if so, forgive me. You are the age of my kids but seem to have a bit of an older soul. I hear a lot of single women say "there are not any good single guys out there" or "all the good guys are taken". That is just not true. Guys say the same things about women. In general, men and women just go about things so differently so often. You guys being the nurturers and we being the provider protectors and fixers. I'm talking in general with a broad brush.
There is a perfect mate for you out there. If you go about your life, doing the things you love to do, being around people and things you enjoy, you will put yourself around men who have similar interests. It is mostly true if you stop looking for a mate, one will show up in the check out isle at the store or at some place you frequent. Even then, there is no guarantee they are the one. There are no guarantee at all the person you choose will be the one. I joke with my lovely wife that women search for the perfect man...then change them. I say that in jest with a tinge of truth with some women.
There are a lot of stereotypes about men that are very true. The knuckle dragging, beer swilling, sports watching, womanizing lazy slobs are everywhere. I would bet the loving, kind, thoughtful, caring, listening, spontaneous, funny guys are in the great minority. But there are out there. If you are a believer in Jesus and trust that God orders the steps of those that love Him. You can let go of the searching. Love God, get to know Him better, go about your life and before you know it some guy is interested in who you are out of the blue and you didn't see it coming. A little known secret to women is that the less a woman appears interested, the more the guy is interested. To a degree of course. If you are nice and sweet naturally to a guy but do not pursue him. He will do whatever he has to to get your attention. Don't compromise your values with any guy. If he suggests you do, he exposes his character.
On the other hand, if you don't show just enough interest, he may just see you as a friend and nothing more. If women only knew the power they had over men, they would be dangerous. Remember no guy is perfect and no woman is perfect. Since you were married before, you know relationships are full of compromises to get along. Smart guys have figured out to apologize even when we think we are right. I sometimes tell my wife "whatever I did that made you mad or sad, I meant the other thing". Then she laughs and it's over. When you are single you always get to do things your way. It's been said that relationships are 50/50. That is wrong. It should be 100/100. You should each give each other 100% of yourself. It's not a competition of who did more or who loves or cares more.
I sure hope I have not upset you or made things worse. I just kind of broke my heart that you were upset. If only you knew the great things that are in store for you in life.
Take care, know that I'm praying for you for wisdom and supernatural peace.