TEDxSF - Dr. John Gray - 4/27/10
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- Опубликовано: 11 май 2010
- Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice: Life, Love & Energy
Dr. Gray is the best selling relationship author of all time. Beginning in 1995 with his ground-breaking Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, the New York Times number one best-selling book of the last decade. John Gray has sold over 50 million books in more than 45 languages throughout the world.
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Yep! Yep! Yep! I wish I had heard these things a few years ago.... I would have been able to avoid overweight, sleep and stomach disorders and cancer... Very wise words, Dr Gray! Avoid chronic stress like a plague! ...whatever it takes!
So validating Dr. Gray. You are so beloved............thank-you for making this understandable for my husband and I . We can watch together, and stay together as a result! 22 years now............lots and lots of ups and downs with 2 working professionals, and 2 teens with mental health issues. It would be easier to walk away sometimes as you well pointed out. love and peace to you!
I Love You Dr.John Gray you're a blessing to this world!
THANK YOU Dr. Gray! I finally don’t feel so lost and crazy!
" Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus " is a well known book which changed vastly the attitude of men towards women....I am greatly indebted to him 🙏🙏🙏🌹🤝🌹
I'm glad I read your original book Dr. Gray. Today I wanted to hear from you, anything new or Men are from Mars in your own words and with your inflection and vernacular. I'm pleasantly surprised to here the progress you've made in the studies you've done. The testosterone and estrogen talk you gave, provides such great insight to the book I was blessed to read years ago. Thank you for being a trailblazer in our modern world.
Now I know why I love caring naturing gesture for my family and people I love.
He described people (man an women),who are not able to find inner happiness and they need others to fulfill them....whitout inner happiness every relationship is doomed
I just learned that. I am 80
I feel like some of the information he gives I can apply it to my self love for myself
17 minutes of the best arguments in favor of not bothering to get married or have a relationship. Relationships = increasing stress levels. Enough is never enough.
Thank you so much for this talk show. Super grateful for the topic that offering useful suggestion to heal the relationship globally!
I really love this speech too much. The bottom of my heart says thank you for the confirmation on what my gut feels for some time already maybe since I was born. All the love 💙More nurturing, tenderness, feminity to all of us who enjoy that🙏
I'm a full time mom. But even so, my stress levels go high whenever my Husband isn't loving and attentive to me. And if that happens Im more prone to become unhappy. Men, we need you more than ever. Women need a man's love and attention. And when you give her that, the more nurturing and loving she will be to you. The less likely she'll nag and the more likely that she'll let you do the stuff you love.
Hope G uh huh, and what are you going to change about your own behavior which benefit men?
phunkboxx getting laid isn’t a problem. Putting up with a completely self absorbed gender is.
Tech takes a lot of men time they used to dedicate to being attentive, charming, seductive. Now they dont take time off the screens and shores are always there lurking but no hands are offered
Shaun Hensley - lol Men arent self absorbed? I haven’t known a husband who did more for the wife than she does for him nor a man who looks after the kids more than the wife. She makes the most sacrifices. It’s you who are self absorbed.
I respect your comment even though I read it 2 years later. You're bright. I am 25 and never had a gf because I feel like I can't provide an interesting or good (better?) life for women so I just enclose myself.
Thank you soooooo much for this insight. It is a timely word for me. Knowledge, for me, is indeed power. I'm going to embark on this power starting today. Thank you again.
Johari Laird 👍
Thank you for this wonderful insight. I tend to be a workaholic....hard not to being single and alone. I will make an intentional effort to do more right brain activities when I get home.
PRECIOUS! information from these talks!! Thank you Doctor
Thank you Sir!!
Thank you a lot!!!
Parents- The most important thing you can give your children is your time.
How do children spell love?
T-I-M-E
Thank you for this video Mr. Gra and TED. It is good that in our changing world you try to help men and women to make each other's lives happier with an awareness of the stresses of modern life and the ways to handle them.
Wow 😳 amazing one best talks ever
I had the worst type of men in my life, but this man would be an exceptionally rare male ! Very thoughtful and inspiring !
I agree John, I'm with you
Dr. John Gray! I love your books and videos. This is one of the best, along with your other Ted Talk.
Would you do a video series about your new marriage?
I would love to know more about how you both handled the cultural differences between the United States and China. I am married to a woman from Xiangtan in China and she is almost half my age. (John married Lin Wang from Xiangtan on May 4, 2020. She was his tour guide and translator for years when he was in China.)
Specifically:
1. Language ++ You mentioned that your wife has struggled with English. How have you had to change your communication style to grow in love?
2. Age difference ++ You are 70. She is almost 40. You said this is a challenge at “certain” times like the bedroom. How do you communicate through these issues?
3. Your kids ++ How is the relationship of her son and your daughters? Maybe Lauren and you could answer this together in one of your videos?
thank you
Very powerful words, where are men to understand what we are facing this centuries.
I hope this video can reach the maximum people to understand the fact of women
Nailed it. One stop solution for all relationship problems…
John Gray you are amazing 👍🏻
Thank you sir john gray 💙☺️😇💫 love you muchh 💙
Thanks for sharing 🌈
John Gray 😍
This is an amazing TED Talk... Could possibly save humanity but...oh well
Fantastic
I enjoy John’s videos 😊
so enlightening ! need to do more activities that produces Oxytocin
a lord stuck his goddess out on the frontlines unprotected. She longed to be feminine, but was forced to became the most feared warrior ever. She became not only masculanized. She became a beast. Even the great lords feared her. It was a long time before they could tame and help her feel safe again. To help come back to her femininity.
Omg he is preaching! Lol. He described exactly what and how I feel.
God bless you Ted. You've really made me to understand myself and my fiance. Now I can confidently go into a successful relationship with out getting divorced or seperated again
What's up with the sound?
رائع
I feel like John look so sad in this talk compare to his other videos 🤔
always difficult performing at a set time. at school for example, or any service oriented job, one has to pull it off, even if one has a bad day. in that regard i miss working with design, it was easier to have "bad days" as fewer at work would notice. hope his sadness was just momentarily though, usually evens out with time :)
We are in a time where the working environment, in many industries, is stilled geared towards men, unfortunately
Absolutely
Would being a social worker help me create oxytocin because I feel like I am caring and nurturing role?
Hi
I am a social worker since 2016, after years I realise that social work is like other jobs in which you have to achieve high targets, more in quantity and not quality. It could not help me to become any less stressful person.
My mother is a nurse , and i while i encourage you to achieve your dream and go where you feel you want and need to go in life , I can guarantee that my mother is a highly stressed person..More than the average..This job is far, far from being easy and without stress..altough one could think ''helping other'' = less stress or such..But its not that easy
That's kind of funny, he described my wife's Behavior to a tee, as far as the stress and being able to relax and get a good night sleep. The problem is, he described it as a result of things like work responsibilities, and that doesn't apply and my wife's case. She doesn't work outside the home and there are no children living at home. I even cook my own meals and clean up afterwards, so really keeping the house clean and maintaining the yard are her only self-imposed things she has to do or worry about. Her behavior and attitude would be what I might expect a mother of eight doing all the cooking and cleaning, as well as working a full-time job. When I get home from my 14-hour work day fix my dinner and clean up, she is still annoyed that I don't do more around the house to help out. And by doing more around the house to help out, the Complete gutting & remodeling of two bathrooms, painting the whole house, and many other such projects, doesn't count. I think women have been conditioned to believe that no matter what their particular situation is, they are overworked, and have too much to do.
Really does feel like that..Women adapt to their environnement and no matter the facts , they will find stress sources or ''overwhelming'' things..Even if she doesnt work she will feel overwhelmed..No matter the environnement ,its the same..Their perception change and what is dramatic change with it...Sometime it feels like some women just cannot be happy..Even the little things..My ex , i loved her so much..Did all those little things that this guy is talking about..Flowers..Little gifts and attention..Compliment everyday everytime..But the more i did ,at first she was happy..But then the more she asked for more..Until the point it was impossible to keep up and make her happy..her needs started to become completly disconnected from reality and litterally contradictory and impossible to achieve.. She kind of ''got used'' to the little things that made her happy and her perspective changed..Its like no matter what happens , women seem to adapt their perception to the environnements and find problems..A president will feel overworked and find problems as much as a women at home alone with a kid...They both feel the same in a way ,Both problems , while not having the same consequences and importance in reality will feel the same to the women...Anyway..I agree with you..
Cant make a woman happy
@@skyking6989 true...find one with inner happiness...they exist. ✌
I enjoy I do not have the urge for that testosterone. Does it make sense? Women, we better validate our men ( if we have one) and give them lots of affection in forms of intimacy which 'most' of men would be glad to receive and men keep the little details because that makes us just happier and make us give you double back to you. Love Live Joy. Namaste
You have an amazing smile i admire for your comment greetings from Egypt
Everything’s getting worse. The important things. Technology gets better. Yet things like family values, morals etc are not.
True :( Morals and family values in fact are getting worse the more technology has progressed for some reason
I've had complex trauma and go through the wave
Read 'Cupid's Poisoned Arrow.' We have been propagandized by the social engineers to think orgasm is the pinnacle of satisfaction. Very sad.
the stage looks so uncomfortable
love John Gray tho
Happily divorced. She would be unhappy no matter what I do so I just quit doing, caring.
She walked out in 2014. Couldn't pay me to get married again
@@skyking6989 find someone who's already happy inside...they exist
@@angewels oh ya? Where are they? Still refuse to get married again
@@skyking6989 put it this way...if you (skyking) are happy and you're still out there...why can't happy women be out there? Maybe you aren't in the right frame of mind to receive a happy woman? I'm not trying to be mean...I'm just saying it takes some work to become more self aware...
This reaction happens when I get retriggered
I should now it 40 years ago 😡
All this Mars and Venus talk, but no mention of Uranus.
nowadays every one is one eyed sun - but it was it who poked both 99.9%
🙋♀️
She: Always sitting on a couch
Me: I am rebuilding testosterone😂😂😂
Is this the same if he is depressed? He needs to bring up his testosteron? Withdraw from everything and everyone into his "cave" to "build him self up" for months? Any male perspective that can answer?
Narcissists seem to purposefully starve their partner of the basic human needs of caring & validation, (love). Perhaps you can look into this pandemic of narcissism & talk about that?
That's not his speciality
Mars🤷♂️Venus
5:26
No we don't go back to what's right we go forward and get judged by God our creator. Then we find out what fools we are.
I apologise. I meant to hit the like icon but accidentally hit the dislike one. Can't figure out how to undo.
Jim WalshIreland this made me smile
All you do is click the negative icon again. And it removes it
😂🤗
A major reason why women's stress levels go up.... She is expected to also take over the child rearing and house care after a full day at work. Not so much w men. Old dictates arise that women's realm is home and family, even when she puts in the same number of work hours....while John says ' this will sound sexist" it's because it is sexist. And so much of it is inaccurate. My sympathies to people that have been hurt by this rhetoric. Another reason that divorce is still prevalent is because in the 50's when women were "homemakers" they couldn't financially survive outside the marriage.Women who were in dissatisfying or abusive relationships felt trapped. Now, many women can support themselves and are less likely to feel trapped in a bad situation. John has stated that feminism has been a blow to relationships or marriages. So we know what side he comes down on. I dislike the term as it sounds like a bunch of women yelling "woman power" and men hating which is not at all what it means. Both genders suffer from stereotypes and social norms. Both need (or want) a better understanding of their partner. LGBT couples also want to understand their partners and that is not related to gender. There often are dynamics that play out in many relationships straight or gay.
+Donna Lochner That is not at all how i heard it.
He explains how things work to help everybody understand each other better so there is more harmony in relationships (which would be equally beneficial for both sides).
Instead of being grumpy, bitter and angry at each other, we would finally get to understand WHY we have all those feelings ("against"; ea), so we could finally STOP "hate&blame" games, once and for all!
FYI - Your comments are pretty bitter for my taste.
I find that type of tone (& behavior) from women is reason for not trusting the feminism and not understanding it
It's damaging more than helping, that is for sure.
+Luna L I fully and wholeheartedly agree with you from the "understand each other better" sentence through the "games, once and for all". Blame games virtually never are effective, and they rob each of us of the opportunity to take a look at ourselves to see where we are brought up short.
+Donna Lochner Exactly!
that's how I understand it too!
Lots of women think this kind of talk means not being yourself- wrong! It just means understanding each others differences and loving the person by giving them what they need.
What a load of rubbish...
I bet 4 of those 7of those kids are fathered by someone else
wake up American Woman! you want to be a Man and work outside the home! Cool. then us men will live Longer lol! This proves that woman should stay home and take care of our children! Children need love and direction not a dam day care center!
Cave Man Tom, not all children are day care age, nor do they stay that age forever. Things change, and many women work outside the home because they must. Also. home based offices are common nowadays, I have had a home office for 10 years for the companies I work for. This talk is very general, and does not really apply to all
Strawberry women are required to work now because they have saturated the work field and thus decreased the salary. Additionally, society expects women to work now, so that is now factored into the living wage mark. But biologically, it is both easier and healthier for men and women to split their roles.. Too bad it's become difficult
You sound like someone who only saw half the video...
Brian G LOL let them be miserable
does drama help induce a woman's oxytocin levels? Is that why they need to start problems all the time in order to feel less stressed? HMMMMM
You've got it all wrong