The 1 thing you need in order to survive a narcissist
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- Опубликовано: 19 сен 2024
- The 1 Thing you need in order to deal with a Narcissist! There is one thing that narcissists hate for you to have...and that 1 thing is Discipline! Having discipline is a skill you need!
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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Thank you so much
Discipline does help, and a lot of praying. God helps to keep you strong.
Amen amen I pray all the time and GOD helps me so much
prayers are fine but actions are needed too.
AMEN!!!!! 🙏✨
The amount of praying it took to heal my broken heart 😢😢is why i have promised myself that I will never hoover myself back.He mended my broken heart at a humanly impossible rate...and prayer was probably the reason why i was discarded whithin a short period of dating my ex narc.I wouldn't have left the narc that soon and the discard was necessary to get me out of the situation. It hurt so much, but im thankful to God.
Dont stay there!
Maintain boundaries, reach a point of absolute indifference as well as radical acceptance, and keep your halo clean while you keep on doing good things for this world. 🙏💛
You need a strong sense of _self._ They absolutely _hate_ when you won't call the color blue red when you KNOW it's blue JUST because they want you to. They really do intend to wipe your identity and will and self-respect out.
smh. soo pitiful!!!! soooo pitiful!!!! yeah i'm angry that he basically wanted to frickin' enslave a sistah, BUT i can't help but to pity him. probably because i got out within 3 weeks KNOWING he wanted to do EXACTLY as you wrote: "wipe your identity and... self-respect out." told him before i exited: "my self-esteem is STILL intact" after asking him "are you trying to break me?" because i didn't know at the time WHAT i was dealing with ...
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Set your boundaries and keep them strong 😊
12:09 - my response to the apologies is always “I forgive you and release you from any indebtedness that your actions have created because I am called to forgive you. I am also called to guard my heart and in order to be obedient to that I will not subject myself to you anymore in the future.”
After that, there is no response anymore ever again.
WHOAAAA!!!!! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and THAT'S how it MUST be (with me)! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my goodness! A few weeks back I found myself blurting out “I need to ask God for self discipline!” You just confirmed it that He wants me to grasp this, I give in all the time. More and more I let go of my boundaries. Uug
😂😂😂😂 I’ve been no contact for a year and a half and he walked up to me at my job Friday while I was talking to someone.
he found out I was sick earlier in the month and left a grocery bag with soup and crackers on my bumper.
I saw it then saw him in the distance hiding and watching. I left it on the bumper and got in my car and left. It fell off and I ran over it and I acted as if I didn’t even notice.
THENNNN, back to this past Friday (our last day of work before Christmas) I didn’t even see him coming. He walked up to me while I was talking to someone and put something in my hand and by the time my head turned to see who it was and what it was and he was already walking off and I look down at my hand it was a Christmas gift.
😂😂😂😂 that’s okay though bc when we get back to work the first day back to work he’s gonna see it in his area.
My mom was a narcissist and I went no contact for 6 years. I have no problem cutting this man off. I saw the flags and I RAN!!!! Now he’s chasing hard core!! We work together but have zero reason to ever need to communicate.
@@CarolS330 yessss! We work together but we don’t need to communicate for business purposes.
Boundaries. Strong healthy boundaries
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My ex is in jail...probably the only thing that saved me from the toxic cycle he had me in. It's going on 6 months without getting my cheeks clapped and I'm happy as hell!!! Cause I know what it comes with😂😂 he's also blocked from calling me in jail! yayyyy me!
I sure hope you understand how many SOULS you are helping. Maybe you have no idea. I applaud your honesty, and sharing what you have learned about yourself. I am going to buy your books. I also thank you for getting your point across thru humour. I never laughed so hard than the other day when you talked about leaving an ink pen in the car that you had to get because it belonged to your great, great, great grandmother.😂😂 I am still laughing! Many thanks for choosing TRUTH. On the other side, God will be greeting you with open arms saving “good job, Lee❣️12 stars for you 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟Todays message: “DISCIPLINE” couldn’t have been more important. Blessings to you, Lee , THANK YOU 🙏🏾❤️🥰
“Peace, OUT!”
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“the present you’ve been asking for 10 years”😂😂
Freedom shock from being in a toxic relationship. That is powerful. You said it is almost like a prisoner being freed back out into the open public. That is such a helpful way to explain how people like myself are feeling and what we have found ourselves in. Thank you again for your expertise.
Thank you, you're great!
Another expression for "freedom shock" is "institutionalized" it is how people get stuck.
I live with him, he's on the lease with no thought of leaving. 4 months without cheek clapping since I found out about at least 1 other supply. I got no one to clap, lol + 😢. He keeps trying, but I'm thinking about my health. When he apologized, it looked like it physically hurt him to do so, followed immediately by a request to drive him somewhere the next morning 🙄 It's not a fun space to be in, but necessary. I just hope he gets bored, and moves out, or moves in with the supply.
Sounds like he doesn't have a vehicle or an alternate place to live. Girlfriend.... you may have to take him to court in order to get his azz out. Find out from your courthouse what is needed to put him out. Don't be a victim. You can do this.
@@tranquility9325 He has a car...two! He's just lazy
Mine has a new supply but wants me to move out! Reverse discard..and ya know what I think I'll give him what he wants!
Freedom shock is so true....my dad worked at the prison in CA. He told me he's seen dudes spit in the CO's face while walking out to get thrown back in 🤦🏽♂️
oh wow
This is spot on Lee!!!! I am definitely getting the book!!
The weight lifting block was great! Spot on like the horse and buggy goodbye scene!
Before I understood narcissism, it was easy to get hoovered back in. After too many years and being aware of what I’m dealing with, I don’t need discipline. I need opportunity.
I feel what you're saying...TRUST ME I DO!! But think about what he's saying...you do need the discipline, strong discipline, to break from a narcissist. 99% of narcissists are excellent at their craft. The majority have formed this behavior, and often unconsciously, since their childhood. They are very calculating, manipulative, and in their own world in their way of thinking. They are also can tend to be very charming and know exactly what words to say to rope us back in (especially if you're empathic)!! Discipline to stay focused on the path to strengthen ourselves back up after they've broken us down is what is needed for you to have your freedom for your opportunities to come through!! They are "opportunity suckers"!! As soon as you rid him from your life, we become stronger within ourselves again to handle the opportunities (or blessings)...and free from their grip in order to acknowledge and receive our opportunities/blessings 🙏🏽
umh-huh! i STRONGLY BELIEVE it was my fasting habit of eating every other day (at that time with smoothies and teas in between, now only water) that helped to save me from...smh...DROWNING IN MY FRICKIN' TEARS!!!!! after i told dude two weeks in that i needed a break from him. that was BEFORE i KNEW WHAT i was dealing with!!!! ... anyhu, yes, DISCIPLINE in that sense strengthened me because i went on an 8-day fast when i set my boundaries ...
STILL BEING DISCIPLINED because my hyper-empathetic heart still thinks about him...not as much, but he still rents space in my head!!! and i NEED to evict him!!!
Can’t wait to get your book and read to my grown daughter and her children
Needed to hear this today 💪 stay strong people
In April I was blindsided by my husband of 17 years. He moved out of our home. If anyone had told me that was going to happen to me. I'd have punched someone in the mouth for saying that nonsense.
In August my husband said "it's cheaper for me to lose my deposit than to fulfill my lease". It's almost Jan 1st. Guess who's filing for divorce in January?
We have to taper our emotions down if ppl see something in your relationship that you don't see. Why get angry with them? Again they see what you don't see.
Congratulations for moving forward and reclaiming your life.
What a fine point to put on it! Something i jnew instinctively but never put the steength to it. ❤
I'm not handling any narcissist, Sir.
Instead of handling, you need to walk the other direction.
Facts!
Be safe
It is easier when I know what their disorder is now.
Otherwise you feel confused, scrambled, and less than.
Preach it bro❤
THIS is key!!!
🙏
So good Lee🙏🏽🙏🏽
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Thank you for this Lee
I told mine there was no chance for a reconciliation because I couldn’t possibly trust him with my heart again! Because he already showed me what would happen.
stay safe
Kinda hard to do when it's your Mother.
I want to add a heads up that I only know about because it's a three day experienced. I never intend to put down anyone involved in an event, I really want to give heads up, that distinction is important to me.
I had decided that I would take on the role at work that removes emotion from the equation and prohibits aggitated response, sort of the opposite of nurse Ratchet. Because he had begun some devaluing of me ( I didn't know to call it that back then) but I saw right off he had a plan. I didn't perceive it would go on for three days. I was poked nudged tricked gaslit in the craziest over the top ways. I was aware so confusion didn't hit me, I consciously was Zen. Noticing when I had to breath to prevent argumentative comback that did run through my head as he progressively hit deep w verbal shots in his hunt for an emotional reaction. I was pleased that I didn't give in even though I realized how bored I was getting with the same senerio for three days. I thought about how quest for power and control over another human was the same way my kids when they were 2-3 defied don't touch the stove, only this is a grown person happily wasting my time 100% unnecessarily by refusing any type of diversion from shredding me attempts.
On day three, in the afternoon, an especially nasty verbal attack to trigger past traumas that hadn't immerged fully to be completely healed that he may have intuitively decided were vulnerable and he poured a box of salt in those wounds just to make me re-experience the trauma. Okay? WTF? The things he spoke were so far below the belt that I couldn't actually believe what I was hearing. It was so foul of a thought preceeding the saying that it damaged how I perceived him it did give me insight into just how devoid of any level of limits to what a person could stoop to to win or get what they want just because they want to. That the proportion of "ugly" far outweighed the consequences of being tied to a concrete block then thrown off the bridge. I remember literally the feeling of being so thoroughly disgusted that this person or any body walking around in the world misusing the freedom people fought wars to maintain just so any joe blow can act like a Hitler towards people being lead to a gas chamber by expert gaslight dismantling minds r us. To behave superior to others way more than equal entitled in his mind being free to blatantly attempt to verbally dis-embowel someone he thought weak, de-brain remove sanity. I was not taking on his insults to be my self concept, I spent years in therapy comquering co-dependancy. My self concept self love was built to stand internally without giving the first ish of other peoples opinion, my self acceptance lives inside a fortress aware of being a foulable human being likrey to mess up when I least expect it on my own but IMO it's easier to be aware nd watch for this bs from others making secret traps to descend to where once I stayed. This episode to devalue me was repulsive. Dude, I went off in a righteous justified angry indignation w impulses I struggled to manage, I promise I could barely keep my hands to myself. Y'all I'm trained, being small means I better not drag the offensive out in the name of mercy that would be against a one move and done win. I had a decision to make that pulled on my own ego to show some SOB what my constructs of reality exist capable of being the one still standing, ( I'm laughing seeing it Darth Vadar come to the dark side Luke. ) So his gloating expressions showed at first that he got his emotional reaction dose of ego orgasm which further fueled the disgusting level he had descended to in my eyes, not because I was worn to a frazzle from his behaviors so much but realizing the intentionally fixation on destruction or psychosis being what I was being set up to fall into.
Be careful not to believe the actions and words are what you deserve or that they are somehow true. They are bs words. Don't try to zen too long. I could have done something more assertive than greyrock or whatever. I could have left THAT day for real. I went deep inside for guided leadersip, agreed to the Word and followed it. I walked a short time later. This event started the exit plan. It broke my heart seeing his bad and the pain he comes from. Knowing the etilogy of a disorder was preventable in his life as it was in mine but here we are. It's a committment to the work that heals no matter the etiology.
Good video fr, Lee.
The sexual discipline was my biggest issue but I got over it.but the way you broke it down sheesh I feel seen and stupid at the same time😂😂I’m so glad my feelings finally died for this person cause man
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I might need that damn book for myself.
Anything he gives me I've earned BUT he can't come back either. EVER
This was a great and very useful video, thank you.
You're very welcome!
Close to it, the best x.
💯
It can take years.x
Thank you so much ❤️
You’re welcome
I think some people just “give up”.. the ones who know they with a narcissist
and still in it… sigh
😫
My narcissist has allot to use over me and threatened me and said some shit because I confronted him and now he's just not telling me said he gonna do something now silent like uh
Im fighting myself not to blast him ,pass out booklets on just what he did. I want to then move on in the new year
Thanku this is helpful
You are very helpful while I’m dealing with my toxic fiancé question can we have healthy relationship?
The reason Lee is why he has reached the level of success he has, is bec he's been in psychotherapy for 6 years. In addition to self healing and self discovery.
Most toxic ppl REFUSE to get help. Instead they blame everyone around them. They get worse over time.
@@tranquility9325 this is what I’m , and I question and feel it’s my fault, I just want to fix it
Ladies….u will end up with a baby and feel horrible. Whether u choose to continue with the pregnancy or not; either option is horrible…stay strong & and leave these toxic men alone.
Lol😂 Lee you something else saying with clapping cheeks
Facts!!
Cheeks clapped lol 😂
😂
Amen God does bless
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My ex ONLY has my house phone number!! If he can't leave a message for me to know what he wants so I can determine if it's relevant.. I won't respond at all
stay safe
Strength like a taurus...
😮
The narsisist walked out my door an into hers with no warning. Now he has blocked me on everything he waited 9 mo. To file for divorce now i still have to support him thru immigration over 2 years of this shit. My mental health can't take much more. I'm seriously going to go crazy!
you have to help him? There's no recourse?
Pray to God to help you and find a way out.❤
Di-Sci-Pline, otherwise you lose...
How to get out of a narcissist😅😢
I left one of my exes alone in 2020 & have blocked him in every way, yet even as recent as last weekend he has found other ways to reach me through other numbers or new social media accounts. It's literally been more than 3 yrs since he's heard back from me, it scares me that he still attempts to reach me. What do i do in this situation?? 🤔
Block his ass😂😂😂😂
Running feet and a solid working vehicle
Im having coffee tomorrow with a male friend I can even post it on Facebook drinking coffee and having interesting conversation is not cheating lol. People don't understand the true meaning of adultery . To you even saying happy birthday would be considered cheating lol. My friend is a psychologist as well. More men should be gentleman. Its raining so it is ideal weather for coffee as well.
You really need to relax your the type that will do a cell block shanking stabbing just if you have coffee in the mall with someone . You get so worked and fired up .
You are wrong. Either you want your friend or your male friend wants you. He is just beta to say it or is waiting for the right moment. High value man would not waste his time to go out with you without hitting that. You are delusional.
Be Determined
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Yes,
My ex went wild on me for all last week. I finally blocked her. Bc couldn't take it. Then she blocks me for 3 days. Once I give up. And I'm like whatever. I get a text on weird number. It's her. Saying she's happy with her real man now. And for me to be with my clapping cheeks girls. Is this a ploy? A lie she with a man? Just trying to upset me. I just said I'm happy for you and your man.
Amen!
LOL , them cheeks clapped hehehee. Yea , I am sure there is another person out there that can get your cheeks clamped its called communication you can tell your partner what you like and want in that regards. Being with a narc is not as as fun as being with a loving partner that really values you vs using you.
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❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤you’re tops!!!
Thanks for being here
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Clap this
I missed it again
Bahhaha you’re so annoying 🤣😂😂 The cheek clapping is definitely NOT ENOUGH 😆
😂