Struggles of Unmarried Woman In A Muslim Family | Muslema Purmul
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- In this video, we explore a common struggle faced by many sisters - returning home to find their mothers upset about their unmarried status. It's a scenario that raises questions about self-worth and societal expectations. One mother even jokingly suggested that having suitors lining up at the door is a sign of intelligence. But is this really the advice daughters need?
We delve into the dynamics of this situation and offer practical advice for sisters who find themselves content with Allah's decree but face anxious parents. We discuss the importance of giving gentle reminders about destiny, actively participating in the search process, and maintaining self-worth in the face of societal pressures. In this video, you will discover how to balance faith and practicality by involving your parents in conversations with the Imam or considering suitable online platforms respectfully. Learn to navigate the delicate balance between actively seeking a spouse and not succumbing to desperation.
Sometimes, despite all efforts, the right time for marriage might not have arrived. If your parents remain anxious, remember that you can only control your choices, not their behavior. Find contentment in knowing you've done your part to open up opportunities for potential suitors.
Video source: Bayyinah Institute
Become a member here: bit.ly/3CV2Jnx
I am a widow and I have no child.People always talk rubbish like what if you had a child,they don't understand how bad it feels.its better to be unmarried rather then married with a wrong one.May Allah have mercy on us.
Good for you, you shouldn't feel pressured into marrying the wrong person.
Getting married to wrong one lands you in the hell.your life got mesairable,if you have children your personal life got screwed up and left with no option to get rid of hell.but still you can lead happy life being father.
Didn't you try to marry again ?
I'm 25 (women) and single the family pressure and society eyes often give me anxiety but Allah plan's is always the best. Keep faith my brothers and sisters may Allah make it easy for us a grant us a good spouse.
You are very very young. When I was 25 I was not ready to be married, not even in 30 ., You got a plenty of time to prepare yourself for this journey
as a woman you have a biological clock for having children so it is not like its coming out of thin air. As muslims we should marry young we are not angels without desires
@@noorulcuyunnoor-1145 How do you determine not being ready? Getting pregnant after 30 years is 10x harder than in your 20s according to biology
@The Hoopiest it's not like I don't want it, Allah knows how much I want to get married, but I haven't met anyone yet. And It's a very heavy situation for me
Salam im available and also hafiz of the quraan and also got job just looking for the right person
I'm seriously ill and slowly withering away. I'll probably never get married or have kids. Appreciate what you got. Don't be judgemental and push away people.
Salam
May Allah heal you fully and grant you your duas. Ameen.
Can you please let me know of these factors. How old are you? What’s your illness? How tall are you? How attractive are you?
@@samia6888
Ameen ya Rabbal Almeen
And then you get to live alone (especially when you reach a certain age)....feel lonely depressed....and at the edge of committing suicide bc of depression.
It's part of the struggle of life...stay strong 💪 sisters.
45yr n single..ain't even stressing here..
Coz Allaah planned for me..n I am not missing out on no one.
Yeah🌹👍🏽
Haaa astaghfirullah but wtf
U talking like modern feminist western women... They all talk like that until the wall hit them hard 😑
Did u know about MGTOW or passport bro in the west sister??
thats fine , as long as we know we dont hurt others with our action and words . and lets keep praying to GOD until death .
I am super smart, rank holder , very beautiful lol... it's truth which i know but then i also have epilepsy...i tried on matrimony service but did not work out. Well my family and extended family is supportive but not the society...but since u decided not to marry, i am more content, happy and satisfied. I see ppl married and with kids but still not happy nor content... As i am educator...i spend lot of time educating as many children i can. I began teaching kids from slum first and Allah SWT has blessed me with an amazing job which keeps me way too busy and happy...My bro is married and lives separately and i take care of my parents too.
We need to understand that there are various kinds of life..
The females in my family were hidden from the world denied a social life incase they have a “love marriage”
Yet as soon as they hit mid twenties the verbal abuse of not being married started
the endless list of requirements to getting married is unfair and ridiculous
They must have a degree, High paying job, a car, large amount of saving, also the “traditional cooking cleaning and Serve the household do all the chores mentally.
Just to get married now!!!
Yet the brothers had the unwritten rule of as long as they didn’t get anyone pregnant! they can do what they like and get married when they feel they are ready because mommy and daddy will always support them.
Burying your daughters alive still exists within these double standards backwards unwritten law traditions
In what case do we expect this from females "They must have a degree, High paying job, a car, large amount of saving", i think u thought about the wrong gender there. We men don't care anything you mentioned except traditional woman who can cook and clean
@@Labyrinthen traditional you mean FOB men. no respected man of Sunnah will declare they’re looking for a maid slave wife.
Someone who lives with his momma will be asking wife’s to be to cook and clean
A Muslim man searches for deen.
She can cook a pot of Poison and won’t care killing all your family, why because her deen was not looked at she didn’t fear Allah
Instead her food tastes “good “
Preach! My dad who told me to stay away from boys and never look at them when i was 12 is the same person trying to act like I'm on something for not being married at 20 💀 make it make sense. We're basically not allowed to go outside, not go and enjoy with our friends, not allowed to voice our own opinions, and told to not glance at boys but as soon as we are in our early 20s (some communities are earlier than that) we're supposed to be married, have no problem interacting with the boy, and have no problem with all the intimacy, have kids as soon as you get married .. How is that even possible?
@@shakira7301 if you have good communication with your parents see if they’re willing you allow you to find your own spouse
At least you won’t be forced to marry a cousin of immigrant
No disrespect, but which brothers are looking for a wife with a car, degree, a high-paying job, and savings, in my community at least, sisters don't have to have anything to be married, the most sought thing is beauty, character and adab, and it's usually the brothers who has to have their stuff in check. Can't speak for everyone but it's just strange to me.
The general rule for getting married is that it is a great Sunnah, but NOT Fardh!
But depending on the individual the ruling can fluctuate anywhere from Fardh (has the means to marry and has a lot of desire so is very likely to commit zina if he/she did not marry) to even Haram (very aggressive person who is very likely to oppress his/her spouse, whether or not they have the means or desire).
This is complete nonsense. Fluctuate? What is thermodynamics?
Getting married is completely necessary, I can say 200% necessary for both men and women .every one should have at least companion in life journey .if you get married to love of your life gives the feeling of big achievement.
1:34 after 15 years of rejection. I have stop going after it, trying on my side, cuz it is painful. People/ parents always don't understand, they just wanna keep u trying like a machine.
You are not a machine! Everytime u meet a new person u have to pour your heart out, explain your crazy family. Just how many times in a life time u are able to do that??
It is emotionally draining!
True true,, its painful, joyless, depressing
I'm 31.. a male. Still not married and Haven't found a job with enough income.. I wish to get married according to Sunnah. Halal. Please make Dua for me ease everything 🤲
Im almost 26, in the same exact boat as you
Well, I’m 45 and have never been married. Do you think you have it worse?
@@WavScorn259Well, I’m 45 and have never been married. Do you think you have it worse?
Jazak Allah Khair sister, in 2 minutes you completely dispelled my anxiety on this topic that I've been dwelling on for months. Being open to marriage but not desperate, that really hit me. Indeed Allah's plan is the only plan. This is why we need more female Muslim speakers, we need Islamically sound advice that is sensitive to the our issues. Especially to dispel the cultural baggage that we carry in our homes.
Yes Allah plans, but we only gets what we has worked for (QS An Najm 39).
And what time do u think is right to married sister?? Remember U women have plenty of chance to married and have kid in age below 30 but if pass that certain age ur value will be decreased do u know that...
@@yellow13foxtwo Honestly brothers need to be more understanding, yes timing is sensitive for a woman but some things are out of our control. I am already talking with someone about marriage and taking all the steps to know each other in a halal manner. But this process also brings anxiety in terms of whether it will lead to marriage or not. That's why her advice to be open but not desperate comforted me.
“more female Muslim speakers” 💀 how about no?... Ive seen many recently that every time they talk, it's in a misogynistic way. I always want to have female speakers like this but what we have nowadays is just pressed mother in laws that would hate their daughter in laws 💀
“more female Muslim speakers” 💀 how about no?... Ive seen many recently that every time they talk, it's in a misogynistic way. I always want to have female speakers like this but what we have nowadays is just pressed mother in laws that would hate their daughter in laws 💀
I am 33 not married, catholic, and my parents are paranoid XD They went from NO BOYFRIENDS!! (when I was 16) to why don't you have a boyfriend?? I tell them simply because I am worth to be married to, not to be a plaything. And men around me on my island don't want to marry they want to play. They are sad because they fear I will be alone forever.
Good thinking. Real men don't date. They propose.
“no boyfriends to why don't you have a boyfriend” is relatable but in a more Islamic way.. 😩
I proposed few minutes before. On this same video Then I realised I'm on RUclips .
You are a such a nice girl and you have a beautiful soul
Awesome job, M 28 Male, and have never hold the hand of a female, Coz I don't want gf, I want a wife
No playing around
It's sin and immoral
I am from Indonesia. A number of my female friends are not married. They are in their 50s and 60s now. They are happy, Alhamdulillah.
Stop lying
Unmarried women suffer from stress and other difficulties... Were are not kids to listen and acknowledge your silly fact... A woman deserves a man in life ..that's how life balances....no happiness in single life...
@@Shaa-Belle you're either a paid person by femminist organization to spread these destructive ideas, or you really hate men that you are on a rampage to destroy other women lifes, no woman is happy about being over 40 and not married, unless she's on a rampage against men likewise.
really ? . i am also from indonesia . which city you come from ? .
It's happening with guys as well we are single, but it's hard to get married to righteous person
You will get one soon in sha Allah. Just patience
@@artisthusnatalal3099 how soon brother I just want to accept the reality that I never get anyone
@@akrambaig2689 no Brother, don't tell such thing. Do not despair in the Mercy of Allah.
"and despair not of relief from Allāh. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allāh except the disbelieving people."
Quran 12:87
@Mohammadrameez Shaikh it's easy to say and type I rather be in jannah than this life
@@first9_yt this reminder also benefitted me, thank you brother.
SubhanAllah such great advice from Shaykha Muslema.
I wonder if the older generation is desperate due to cultural baggage from their countries of origin.
Grateful that our Muslim scholars/ Leadershave grown up in the West and have a better understanding of Islam, what it is like to be a young adult in the West, and the realities of life.
Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah that we have such learned, articulate, understanding, and compassionate leaders of our ummah.
Yes, but lets not forget that even in the west women get blamed for not being married, and our muslim brothers are getting this judgemental mentality.
We forget Qadr and what Allah has planned for us .
@@noneofyourbuizness So true. There are so many "brothers" online who are judging sisters according to the "Red Pill" and "MGTOW" movements´ parameters, which is far away from Islamic parameters of "worth". Those movements arrange human-beings into what sounds like dog-groups 😮(alpha, beta...). For them, "high quality" men are judged according to height, money and how many women they´ve slept with. Astaghfarullah! And women are judged by solely youth, looks and fertility. (I wonder if they judge their mothers like this too?)
These "brothers" claim that women are affected by Feminism, yet their every word shows that it is THEY who are affected by un-Islamic movements. Their language is very toxic and derogatory, calling 30+ sisters "Useless", while SLANDERING those sisters and claiming that they aren´t virgins just because they were born in the West. 😵Men on the other hand are deemed to "age like wine" even if they too bald, get podgy or lose lots of sperm quality by 35. It´s just badly hidden misogyny and downright un-Islamic behaviour. Maybe even bitterness and a wish to trap young women without education for complete power (one who is dependent on them and cannot escape abusive behaviour). Otherwise, who goes online to complain about women who they claim to be "uninterested" in? If they can truly get young Muslimahs below 20, then why not simply go and get an import-bride from a poor country? Why sit and complain about "Old cat-ladies with money" when those women aren´t hurting anyone carrying on taking care of themselves and possibly old parents and nephews/nieces? Is it really that provocative that some "irrelevant" cat-ladies want to just live alone and not get married? Why do these men want to force these women to marry?
There´s absolutely no empathy, no Islamic concept in their head of Allah deciding people´s fates, Allah deciding who is going to be a mother and at what age. No concept of Allah having created us all, men and women, for ONE purpose really: Ibaadah. Allah never said that our worth is in our height, our fertility or looks. Or that marriage is Fardh and our reason for existence. There are plenty of hidden good women and men who only want a God-fearing spouse, yet these toxic people are beneath EVERY video that speaks about single Muslimahs. Hating, slandering and calling them cat-ladies (though even the prophet s.a.w.w had a cat and loved them!). We live in very fitna-filled times. Muslims that are following the likes of Andrew Tate (who has never retracted his words about raping and choking women!), and calling soft men "simps". Astaghfarullah! Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.w was the softest man ever, in his smile, his speech and even how he treated enemies. How can Muslims follow people that say "Muslim women obey their husbands", and not challenge the guy and say "No, they follow Allah and Allah alone!" I feel like we´ll see lots more misogynist men "converting", because they think that Islam is some sort of men´s club where women will line up to become their harem! That awful man has been invited and fawned over by major Muslim influencers and pages! It´s alarming!
One day I will have the courage to tell my parents I am not married because I just don't ever want to be married. I like being a working unmarried woman. I don't really want children and being a wife is unappealing to me. I enjoy the life I have now, very much.
You dont.
@@LaoZhang00 I do
@@clementmckenzie7041 Lies. You are deeply sad.
@@LaoZhang00 the only time I get sad, is when my parents are trying to convince me to get married. I am a doctor working providing health care to the poor. The work is demanding and it fills me up emotionally and spiritually. I feel like Allah has delivered me to the place he wants me to be and that I am doing what Allah intended for me to do. He just has not put marriage in my heart and I am content with this. It feels right for me. Marriage doesn't.
@@clementmckenzie7041 Make dua, may Allah grant you a good marriage
I am living separately from my alcoholic, womanizer of a husband from the last six year's. He's not letting me move on nor is my community or the society at large. The men have been abusing, stalking and harassing me for fighting for my rights. They have turned me into an outcast, character assassinating me, not letting me dress or attend functions, falsely accusing me of attracting other men. They treat me as if I am a nobody as I dared to walk out on my evil husband who's had a mistress yet they supported him all along and deliberately wasted my time so that i don't pursue my career or remarry some decent person. They discourage, demotivate and don't let me get help from anyone and link my name to anyone they want. I am a grown woman not some teenager who needs to be told what's right and wrong and this behavior coming from cheap illiterate married men and women, why don't these people stop telling me what to do and what not and introspect their own selves and their families for a change. Salivating over a single woman, cowards, stalkers, Munafiqs.. They are Muslims for namesake. These disgusting men have no rules for themselves, their pathetic women support them in their jealousy, mind you, men gossip more than women and they only like to prove their manliness by ganging up against a woman and for no reason, poor men trapped into marriages for the sake of society. If you are unmarried, it's ok with them, you need to be a virgin ok, if you are a divorcee or widow you have no right to live, can you believe this kind of regressive mentality existing in today's world. You are everyone's punching bag and a doormat. They will get you abused by even your housemaid and the building watchman.
I'm so sorry for whatever you went through. These desi cultures are sick they want women to be pure innocent obedient. They don't want us women to raise our voice even when we are wronged. I wish you healing. May Allah bless and and may you find the strength to move on and make better decisions for yourself 💞
@@maryamcoco3683 Thank you for being so understanding about this issue for which I am being put on the back burner all the time, invisible, unheard. Had it not been the internet I would have not known these kinda hypocrites exist everywhere, the virgin innocent poor harassed men. Atleast I get to voice my pain here, heard by my muslim sister's. Thanks again sis, Allah bless you too❤
i pray you have better Life, sister , i pray Allah will reward you jannah ❤️🙏
@@maryss8767 Thank you so much sis ❤
@@gul2745 much respect for you 💞
I’m 40, never been married and unmarried currently. Muslim men deem me as “too old” for marriage. Yes it has something to do with what Allah has written for us but Allah can’t control the mentality of muslim men and their parents. If I was a muslim man I would be considered in my “prime” to get married and can also get a “young” girl to marry. This is double standards. Women are half of the population of humanity and need to have equal rights
not every one is the same, I am struggling with marriage too, most men my age want someone much younger, I don't care if she is my age or couple years younger, what I struggle with is finding a real Muslims women that is not infected with the ideas of anti-man authority especially here in the US, went to see a girl (under parent supervision in public place) couple weeks ago for marriage, 24 newly graduated she is 10 years younger than me, she was very proud of herself, and showing signs of (no one should have authority over me), she already refused 3 other men within a month and I was the 4th.
couple days ago i went to see one who is only 2 years younger than me, same thing, she refused, on grounds that i am not smiling enough, or at least that's what I think, from the first meet, no second chance was given to me.
Yes there are bad men out there, but we are not all the same, it is women sometimes who do not know how to choose a faithful man and keep refusing good men in hopes of getting a better one, and want a cl- awn man that only laughs and jokes and acts like a good man at first, then marriage and divorce
@@dasboot4194 Don’t cry over spilled milk. You want a good woman but you don’t want a woman who is older or the same age.
So you go for someone 10 years younger and complain. How do you expect to be compatible with her?
What is it about older women or women your age that you don’t want?
You want a woman younger than you because she is easier to control perhaps.
Becsuse you know that a woman your age is probably even more beautiful than the young immature girl, but she older, wiser and doesn’t tolerate bullshit.
So that’s probably why you go for much much younger woman.
No sympathy
@@clementeen i am not asking for sympathy, I didn't go see her because she is 10 years younger, i went because that is what i found or rather what my family found, i went with older one later for the reason you mentioned exactly, to no avail.
I am actually trying to be sympathetic, not asking for sympathy, but again, i don't know why you still not married, whether you kept refusing men like she did, or not asked for marriage. I too want to understand other peoples problems, not just my problems.
Never trust men
@@dasboot4194 I kept meeting men that severely traumatized me and wanted to control me and abused me. So I have much better standards for myself now and refuse anything less than what I deserve. I would much rather be single than with a man who abuses and controls me
wow what a powerful reminder. i did not know there were other parents like that. mine are making my life difficult by making me pity them. they constantly say they are not getting sleep because me and my sibling isnt married yet. they worry themselves so much, one has developed high blood pressure that can threaten their life. every time i visit them, i hear one of them talking to my other married siblings if there is not a candidate for me yet. I already have to deal with the fact i am not married yet myself, it is my life affected. i have come to terms with it that things are going by Allah`s plan and time but encountering your beloved parents that way, is making my life difficult. This even repulses me from marriage tbh.
Emotional blackmailing. Forceful parents are often the first ones to NOT support their daughters after they get married. They will usually ask her to endure the abuse, hide it from their community and even not come back home. This is because these parents value their reputation in the community more than their daughters´s wellbeing, more than Allah and more than decency. They would never imagine putting their sons through even 20% of what they put their daughters through. Most parents just want to get rid of the daughters and never hear from her again, unless the next "social status point" comes up (her becoming pregnant and preferably a baby boy). I don´t know what your situation is, but in my case...I learned a lot by watching how the elder cousins in my family were treated after they followed the parents´ wishes and even let them arrange their marriage. Once you give up your Islamic right to say no...they will own you for the rest of your life. Those cultures never get better...you just end up trying to live up to one cultural expectation after the other. We all mostly get ONE chance in life to take a stand for ourselves. If we give in to emotional blackmailing, there´s no turning back. They will never respect your boundaries. You become a part of the toxic system of being owned by other people around you. Soon enough, you will continue the pattern with your kids. That´s how cultures come about. By people never standing up for themselves, thus letting toxicity live on.
Those parents even asked their daughters to hide violence. For a daughter, realising that she won´t have a place to return to if she gets a an abusive husband is a deal-breaker when it comes to marriage. Nobody wants to deny their parents happiness, but it´s rare for cultural parents to actually even be concerned with their child´s true happiness. It´s all about reputation and community for them. They could even care less if Allah is happy, when they sneakily push, blackmail and force their daughters.
It's not only pressure from parents that unmarried women face. It's also isolation and ostracism. In Desi (Pakistani, etc) communities, the married Desi women will isolate/exclude the single women from their invitations and events. You can't always hide behind the "Oh I'm busy" excuse especially when those single women live locally and CAN be invited and especially when you are NOT busy enough to invite your married friends. Also, if those single women have been excluded for YEARS or for a prolonged period of time, the "I was busy" excuse becomes even more lame and pathetic. In fact, you cannot even put all the blame on the pandemic. But this is a reality that sadly exists. Moreover, those married women who have young daughters of their own need to take a look at their young daughters and think to themselves, "Would I want my own daughter to grow up and face social exclusion if she is not married by a certain age?" To all those married women....don't let the "next time" you visit a single friend ....be during her funeral or another tragic circumstance because while she may be too nice or proper to say it to your face...she will definitely be thinking, "Where the hell were all you ladies during the happier times?"
A story comes to mind a of a Pakistani woman who was childless for many years and was excluded from events by her friends that had children. After many years of waiting, she conceived and had her first child. One of her friends called her up to congratulate her and invite her and this woman told her, "Nope. You all disappeared and excluded me all those years that I was childless. So, I don't need or want your invitation anymore." I don't blame her for such a response.
Lastly, it's not just the parents of the unmarried woman that can be tactless. It's also the extended family relatives who say well-intentioned comments that are dripping with ...pity. Nobody needs to hear that. Also, body language. People have to work on their body language. Don't stare or gawk at unmarried women with pity in your yes; they could be leading a less stressful and more happier life than the married lot in some ways. If you attend a wedding where the sister of the bride is is STILL single or where the younger sister go married before HER.....don't stare and gawk at the unmarried one with pity in your eyes to see if she betrays any signs of jealousy or sadness. It's sick.
Desis ....and YES....this also includes the YOUNGER Desis who fancy themselves to be more open-minded than the aunties and uncles, but can be just as backwards. Even divorced Desi women are met with isolation and exclusion within their social circle and they will find their number of former friends dwindling after a divorce. There is definitely a hierarchy within the Desi community when it comes to women. Perhaps the equation or order goes something like this (with slight variation):
single spinster < divorced with no kids < long time married with no kids < divorced with kids < married woman (happy or sad...doesn't matter).
You hit the nail on its head.
It is excruciatingly painful to be consistently excluded and avoided but You know what this behavior shows? Hypocrisy of the hearts.
I dunno about you but I'd rather enjoy my own company than be around fake people and fare weather friends.
It is no wonder that Muslim Ummah is suffering the same fate as the larger non-muslim society in the west (promiscuity, addictions to drugs, alcohol, porn, extremely disgusting and vile things like orgies, string of one night stands, acting out on their homosexual and trans thoughts/feelings, etc)
May Allah protect us from hypocrisy, instill humility in us, and give us the ability to distinguish right from wrong from the smallest to the biggest of things and enable us to fully submit our hearts to God's will and live Islam.
The probably don’t invite you cuz they don’t want a certain influence on their kids and community? Maybe look at yourself before pointing fingers at others. Just cuz you have bought into feminism and this “don’t wanna get married” BS, they probably don’t want that influence on their kids. You make your decisions and expect people to act accordingly? You are deluded if you think that will happen cuz remember, you aren’t the main character of other people’s stories. Either cologne values that will include you or don’t complain otherwise!
May Allah make it easy for the ummah
@@Ayse-wf9es lmao you clearly were speaking and single people and so was I🤦♂️😂
@@Ayse-wf9es btw I ain’t bout to read your whole essay 😂😂🤦♂️
If the parents could possibly knew how corrupted the modern day men are, every parents would have thanked God for keeping their daughters single for the rest of their lives. It's better to stay single the entire life than marrying the men of this age and time. Very few people realize that it's a blessing in disguise that their daughters are unmarried. It's a protection from Allah Subhanallah. Allah knows the best !
Well dear sister. It is never useful to make "all or nothing" blanket statements. Our ummah suffers and our people (both men and women) have a sickness in their hearts and are not using the guidance given in Islam. But from the beginning even in the days of the Prophet ﷺ, the true believers were always a small minority.
May we be cleansed from our incorrect beliefs and fully submit our hearts such that we are of and amongst the sincere believers.
Why dont you blame modern day feminist who destroy families and advocate women to be independant of men. And how about the crazy statistics that over 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women. Why you blaming men ? Why would a men commit to mordern day women who will most likely leave them and take half of everything they work for along with the full custody of the children ???? You crazy for blaming men when the feminist movement is destroying families.
Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe. Quran 2:223
@@paralleluniverse298 thank you. Just another clown here tryna play the gender blame game. Men are this, men are that… have you seen the hedonist females with zero accountability?! 😅
@@paralleluniverse298 i agree for the most part except calling her a feminist.
Most of the girls are not getting married because of doury.. Allah give us hidaya to make marriages easy for needy people 😟😦😟😦😦
Most of the 😝 Male 100 have Ugly face and evil What are you tollking about
Ameen summa Ameen
True
Alhamdulillah such situation is a rarity in the Malay community. In 2018, my friends and I travelled to Pakistan. All of us were single. We were 31-39 yeas old. In Lahore, we stayed with a local Pakistani family. The mother was asking how old we were and sure, the topic of marriage popped up :)
Don't mind but majority of them are seeking ways so that their children should get out of Pakistan (especially boys) for PR and stuff. Even girls are doing the same.
I have lived in Malaysia for 5 years so I'm a witness. Everyone is nice before marriage for approaching for spouse but u find ur spouse true face after marriage.
And also not all are same but ya be careful when choosing a partner. It's not always about looks that matter.
@@batool2367
I say definitively be careful about the pakiistani community
Well no offense but Indians are also same
What about the divorced girl who is sitting at parents home and listening many odd voices and behaviors
May Allah make it easy for you too sister
Girl my sister is trying to divorce a guy for 5 years while they were married for 2 . Literally custody shittt. So women , pick wisely
Doesn't matter if you're beautiful you will get married if you're not beautiful the tinier the chance is to get a spouse that's it this is the reallity
Beauty depends on who you ask. Everyone is beautiful to somebody. And I wouldn't want to be married to someone who only likes me for my beauty. Your time will come Insha'Allah
The reality is actually that Allah wills whatever He wants whenever He wants when He decides that it is the best time
True
More whiter in shade to be specific.... Beauty standards are still racists in Asian countries
Every woman is beautiful .
Can’t lose hope on Allah , I’m divorced with 3 kids at first I lost hope couldn’t find anyone then alhamdulillah I realized that it’s not time yet Allah is the best of planners.
Parents are trapped in a societal timeline, don't let it get to you. Be brave for yourself and others who are in the same position. Stop giving into societal pressure cause it's always after something has gone wrong people regret it. If Allah has written it for you then nobody can prevent it.
Women have high standards bit we have high options
Dear puramul, you have a power of influencieng people's mind.you are beauty with brain.
I'm 30 now (women). Not married yet because I'm not ready by mentality and physically for married. It's a big responsibility to take when become a wife. Even though my parents especially my mom force me to find a man and get married as soon as possible.. I can't and I'm not ready
Lol if you r not ready even at 30 then even i you cross 40 you still needs time for being ready😂
After the death of my mother my life has been so miserable with a narcissistic father to whom i am a huge burden, who just wants to get rid of me at any cost. I have seen miserable lives of my mother and my elder sister being married to the wrong person and being handed over to wrong families without giving it a thought. I became so fearful of marriage even at a teen age due to all these experiences. But now i am 100% sure that i will never get married because my father do not even bother to do a background check for possible suitors and now i have become diabetic this has added more to my miserable situation. Father do not want to mention my diabetes to the suioters and i do not want to do this fraud to the other party. I am fine alone but those fake pitiful eyes and whispers i have to face on daily basis is utter torture.
May Allah make it easy for you. Trauma is powerful and scary. I understand cause i do have a little similar experience
Its still a better situation than having both parents unloving and narcissistic.
@@razamughal4582 how is it better? Isn't it equal now? Cz the one and only supportive person is gone now i am sandwiched between narcissistic father and narcissistic elder brother? Do tell me how is it better?
@@abcdef-qw9sv of course its BETTER. of course its much worse having a narcissistic mother and a father. What dont you get?
@@razamughal4582 look i am telling you with a different perspective. Think of it as if you have a thing and then it disappeared or was snatched away from you. On the other hand you never get to experience a thing that others have. Which is more painful? The thing once you had and is not anymore or the thing you never have had?
Literally many many if Muslim women are suffering for marraige
And in coming times it getting worse
I mean what is wrong with today's people
For me after dealing with materialistic and greedy people I no longer want to get married coz I lost the hope completely
And now I don't want myself in to this thing
Live single and Enjoy your life
the only problem is (for both sexes), youth doesn't last forever, and these feelings are fleeting. I'm young, and even I know that I wont be enjoying this all my life. I'd want family at some point. Children of my own etc, but there truly is a marriage crisis
Controversial topic that's why I gave some advices to my Islamic family members. Thank you so much
They don't understand and women here they sucks
I never want to get married and this is my last decision because I saw my mother painful life
astgafirullah
@@paralleluniverse298 😟💔😔i don't know
I think maybe like little bite😔
Look at your own fingers, are they same ? No of course 😅.
So is our fate. Everyone has his own fate, his own destiny...
Most girls' decisions are influenced by the experience they see in their mothers' lives. It's not surprising at all.
@@Shaa-Belle
Everyone has his own experiences and she didn't "experience" yet 😅
Do not despair of Allah's mercy... (QS Az Zumar 53)
I am a 32 years old Turkish woman living in France and single since forever and never get any proposals. At 1st when I was younger my family had always fear me about men, that I have to be far from them and never approach men cause it is haram, I was student at this time. But now they force me to marry and meet someone in order to marry.. the problem is that they put me those barriers before and now they are pushing me to marry...By the way now all the men in my surroundings are married and I dont know any single muslim man. No one is helping me to marry a good muslim man even my family doesnt help to meet someone🤦♀
Try at some local mosque.. Why don't you look men from home country.. There will be lot of muslim isn't?
This is a problem in the community and the bigger issue is the guy. A lot of guys nowadays are not leaders anymore. They don’t like to take responsibility anymore. They would rather just date and go on their merry way. Or what’s worse is the guy’s mom not approving you because of XYZ factors. It’s frustrating as Muslim single women to have this. We are truly suffering. May Allah help us. Ameen
My thoughts too. Chivalry is dead and so as that masculine men are hard to find. How does that sound for a man to need his parents to decide whether he should marry a lady or not . Like be a man a real man
A real man is what they used to be: one THAT HAD FOUR WIVES.
@@razamughal4582 Back in the day, they had 4 wives because of the circumstances, but nowadays, that's not the case. LOL! real men need to step up and take ownership
@@razamughal4582 wrong. Pity the mentality. Do you even know what it takes to be a real man. Sadly you seem to be stuck in pursuit of sleeping with as many women you can
Unfortunately it's the society which calls to materialism and following your desires I went to public schools half the guys were busy with running after girls, playing games, drugs, street life watching filth such as pornography and wasting their time on things like anime. I was involved in some of it too may Allah forgive us not all of us were practicing from young or had a good upbringing. But in any case when some of the brothers who come out of that lifestyle of being in the streets, wasting their time, they start practicing, then they start to realise how much time is lost and their life is basically in a mess. But now the real struggle and test starts, Allah guided you away from that filth so use this opportunity to work hard and forget about what has goes by as we cannot change anything of the past
We both sisters are facing the same situation in difernt way. Our mom force us just to marry no maters what type of prson he is. She prays, she cries and blame us bcz we have same priorites in choosing our partnrs.
Both boys and girls are suffering unfortunately.
Well I think more than parents, it's the society and the relatives who make life of an unmarried woman extremely difficult, they leave no stone unturned to make her slip into depression.. they don't just taunt and target that woman, but also her parents..
Trust me there are brothers in the same position who get the same issues for not being married.
I definitely agree with that
But society judge sisters more than brothers :(
It's very rare in brothers case then a our Muslims sisters are suffering without there fault and more over our Muslims aunty's are not leaving them to leave peaceful it's really sas the each one of us should teach our family ladies that not to taunt any girls who's married is delay..
@@indocaucasian-channel6438 yes I do agree with your point 😊
There's not many null in the world. You can't stereotype that a certain problem is only for a certain people. So yes, boys do face the same problem, they're just not in the majority.
Alhamdulillah, it is much better than being with a man who is cruel.
If parents knew what modern nuslim men were demanding they wouldn’t want their daughters married 😂
What do you think modern men are demanding? Just curious
The fact is so many Muslim parents fail their children, and even blame their (now adult) children for their own mistakes and failures. Also, many parents still see their children as items or accessories to show off, comparing them to others, not recognising that their once little boy or little girl is now an adult who can make fully independent choices and is completely responsible for and of their own lives. The narcissism in our communities is beyond any description..... و الله المستعان 🤲 و عليه التكلان
M 24 and still unmarried. i am dealing with anxiety. Please pray for me
You're still young. Dont worry. No matter what happens it will be for your good. Trust Allah! Its Ok! There are many youth today just like you struggling to get married or have some or the other problems with their lives. Take it as a test by Allah and have patience over it, becoming anxious won't help you it will only destroy your health. Things will happen at their destined time worrying will only make it more difficult. May Allah make it easy for you aameen
I'm 33 and unmarried...
Im 24 and not married yet
@@dansharmin09 😢
Soon to be 30 here. Lets pray for each other & every single muslims out there who is trying to get married in halal way.
The same thing is with us too . But I am not able to rebel against Allah , so patience is the only solution that I am doing
I can't afford to get married, not that I would. I also, due to my issues, get the bottom of the barrel. People are like, don't be superficial! You're "greedy and cruel" Blackbriar. Maybe if I would have gotten married when I was younger, we could have worked on each other and grown together. Now, it's like, nope.
Even By being a Muslim, I love the part of western culture "being yourself" doing whatever you want, live however you can. Ultimate freedom, thank god I left my country to move to the USA. The best decision for my freedom.
This Dunya is paradise for kafir, and jail for believer.
So there is no ultimate freedom for muslim except in Jannah.
@@Shaa-Belle I don’t want to be free like west. I don’t like western culture. I don’t want to worship except Allah almighty, the real God. The king of the worlds.
Life without rules and regulations is like a horse without its rein who wander around without purpose and goals. If we stay like that in a society then in no time the society will crash all the way down. There would be less moral or conscience left in people. They wouldnt care for how their whims and desires will bring harm to the society in general. People slowly lose their potential to judge right from wrong as it becomes easy to do things without getting judged.
*They become free in thoughts but are enslaved by their desires*
Gaslighting women some of you lot in the comments section
Being a Muslim is to submit.. Is to become a slave to Allah... We are giving up freedom and choosing to live according to Allah's rules.
Just now I got a rejection from a woman, I am a divorcee without kid, and she is a woman with a 8yr old kid. Yet after a good meeting at a Mall for lunch she rejected me after a week with no specific reason. Women have this notion that everything has to synch like an orchestra is mind blowing, they are not practical. The violins, the music, the butterflies everywhere, they think that a eternal tap on their shoulder to select this man would come.
They do not understand that our Mind plays with us, for some people (especially after a heart break) our psychological behavior leans for perfectionism, analysis paralysis, overthinking, cold feet, OCD, paranoia, phobias against any new suitors and then there are friends with less wisdom giving bad advice, we have to watch out for these pitfalls and take a decision put tawakal in Allah. A Man cannot be perfect, everyone has short comings, if you put anyone under the microscope. Just letting the good guys go away will not help them, humans have a biological clock aswell, our beauty fades with time too. Same applies to men. After my experiences I say we should pray to Allah to be practical, and not dream too much of the spouse and lose our valuable years.
No wrong men biological clock is different u women in 30 will have problem and in age 40 it will be dangerous to have child, men can still make child in 40 and 50 but women cant so ur valued will decreased the longer u wait and men will prefer only take younger women who can have child
The way you worded the comment has me thinking that she was a smart woman, she knew what she was doing when she rejected you. Maybe try to actually be sincere and stop putting yourself on a pedestal. Allah doesn't like narcissists
@@shakira7301 Thinking you are a good person is not narcissism. If women do that its called woman empowerment, she is a powerful strong woman blah blah, and if a man feels he is worthy and does good for himself then becomes a narcist. Clearly you are hypocritical, judgmental and feminists like you only worsen their own lives and the life of others around you. Listen up, it would be a great service to your other practicing and hijabi muslim female friends if you could keep away from them, thats the bad influence I was referring to. Western feminists non-hijabis who party and wear revealing clothes, drink and smoke, pick and choose easy parts of Islam are in no position to give advice to any muslims.
Why are you wasting your time with a single mother? This is your fault
@@uok6216 So you say that I am not that good of a guy. And then you say people have rejected you at that time the other guys were not better than you. You blow your trumpet, and you say "I am not that good of a guy". Self reflection should always be practiced by everyone.
Men are stigmatized for being divorced, everyone feels pity for the divorced lady. But women are the ones who initiate divorce in many cases in the west, but the western laws incentivizes divorce to woman with her Ex's wealth, properties, child support. I never said anything against her, she was a good muslimah, unlike some nasty ladies commenting here. I am just ranting how its difficult for a woman or a young man to be decisive (especially after a breakup), you have to take help and advice from your parents, elder siblings to get a bigger picture and Go Ahead even if your 7 or 8 out of 10 criteria are satisfied with that Match.
Actually this isn't the suffering of unmarried sisters alone, we also suffer the same thing if not even worse by our parents as they think that it's no issue for us to propose and supposedly get married. Honestly it's unfair and really hurtful yet it doesn't seem like they care anyway, they just keep pushing. May Allah swt mercy us and grant us patience 😔
From which country you are from?
Salam Alakium Waramotullahi Wabarakatu,
Thanks so much for sharing information with us.Subannallahi, many Sisters are faced with this challenge of being single ! Some endure patiently for Allah Rahma to bless them with a spouse with Eeman while many are leaving the Deen to marry Non- Muslims due to desperation! Sadly, some Muslim brothers make matters worse they prefer to marry Non- Muslims than Sisters from their own Deen. Our beloved Prophet Muhammed SAW says, “ We should marry for wealth, status or Deen and the best amongst you marries a person with Deen. It is alarming and traumatic Imams in Masjid who are supposed to give spiritual consultation are encouraging and marrying Muslim Sisters to Non- Muslims. After they are finally married these Sisters are forced to leave the Deen because either their husband or husband family support or allow them to observe 5 daily Salat , fasts etc and insist they convert to their own religion most especially Sisters who marry Christians.I know of practicing Muslim Sisters , members of my family, friends, colleagues once upon a time they used to observe their 5 daily prayers, fast etc after marrying Christians they have been brainwashed and have left our beautiful Deen Islam. The Non-Muslim men are willing to take Shahadah after they have achieved their aim to marry Muslim Sisters they show their true colours and forbid their wives and children from worshiping Allah SWT some even go as far as ostracizing and forbid their wives from associating with their family members and friends that are Muslims. In the Noble Quran Allah SWT says: “Surely we will test you with loss of life, health, wealth, properties......... Say to those who believe who endure with patience when in adversity “ We Belong to Allah , To Allah SWT we will Return, Allah SWT will bless them with everlasting bliss. If we begin to realise being single or married is a test from Allah SWT then we will endure with patience because our Rabb the Creator of Heavens or Earth never fails promises. May Allah SWT bless us with spouses with Eeman pleasing to the eyes who are blessings in this world and Hereafter Ameen Ya Rabb. May Allah SWT make it easy for all of us to pass our tests Ameen Ya Rabb. Jazakallahu Khairan.
Jummat Mubarak.
I know here the viewers r full of frustration as I'm passing through it but still have a patience on Allah SWT
What if someone has chosen celibacy? In today's world people have accepted LGBT which is the most sinful thing, why can't they respect someone who wants to die virgin?
Islam does not allow you to chose celibacy,
@@razamughal4582 it does as marriage is only a Sunnah yes if you chose celibacy to be pious that isn’t allowed but if you chose celibacy because you are so done with the toxic marriages you’ve seen it is allowed just develop your Islam
Salam to my brothers and sisters, I am in my mid 20s and still single. Is it okay for me to remain single? I just do not see a point of getting married after being called ugly by others.
No get married sister trust me u will regret not married when u have the chance and u know men prefer younger women like you who is fit to have child just forget about that guy who told u are ugly and to be pretty is not difficult go do sport and make up... And remember girl there are tons of pretty girl but that doesn't make a men will want to married her coz if only pretty face u bring to the table they will not bring peace to men so that are not gonna work us men only want peace and so if ur attitude is peacefull to men u will have men for yourself forever...
I wish I didn’t have a desire to get married, because I don’t think it’ll ever happen to me.
If you think like that it means you don't make dua? If you make dua then the affirmation in your dua seems to be lacking. It will happen someday trust Allah. Allah fulfils a need of a slave when the slave is desperate and needs it the most so ask with affirmation he will open the doors for you. May Allah bless you with good hope and make it easy for you Aameen
@@umbareenfarhat2860 Ameen. I've always thought this myself too I never make dua'a with certainty. I will try to do that now because I think your comment is a sign from Allah swt. Thank you and jazakallah khayrun.
@@YaAllahswt take care and neverrrrrr give up on your dua okay
Even your dua not become true, but it will fruitful in hereafter
الأمر واضح ولا يحتاج إلى الشرح. يقول الله سبحانه وتعالى في سورة الذاريات" فذكِّرْ فإنَّ الذكرَي تنفع المؤمنين" و في سورة النور " قل للمؤمنين يغضُّوا من أبصارهم"
I'm an unmarried guy have anxiety make dua I get married
May Allah make it easy for all of us 🤲
Read this ayah from (Surah ruom 21)
@@ma_verite jazakallah
Finally... someone said it.. FINALLY.........
My marriage proposal is almost on brink of breaking and mostly It will break , bcoz there family is not open to even interview me nor they even interested to talk as if I m most wanted person on earth , I was so dumb based on girl confirmation I made all arrangements about to get married in a couple of weeks. Not all family are serious.
Very foolish on your part brother. May Allah guide us all. If you don't have the agreement of the parent then take it as if nothing happened
forgive her family.. you remind me of the man I love that his proposal rejected by my parents once
WHY ALWAYS TALK ABOUT LONELY WOMEN WHAT ABOUT MEN WHO ARE LONELY AND UNMARRIED??????
Unfortunately, some of my muslim colleagues labeled me as the leftover 😅 for being unmarried.
Marriage is not obligation ....still having someone there for u is amazing feeling...keep trying...make sure u treat her best when u get married... because ur marry a person..she is her dad heart...
I got married to a "leftover".
I was so lucky they didn't marry her 😅.
Don't worry, it's just matter of Maktub 😅
InshAllah you will find your loving spouse. Keep on trying.
@@sunrises5774 how do you know if the commentator is a male?
Just a reminder that happy people won't sit there judging you so you keep your cool. Never let society take control of your life
Thank God my Mum is okay that I'm not married.
Note This problem does apply to both genders.
Listen to her advice!
Also, be realistic!
Im desperate to marry but my mother isn't... She doesn't bother looking for candidates but now expects that i should have been able to do it on my own. Being a Syed Shia daughter, with no father or brother n no other sibling n having an unwell mother... How could i find an appropriate Syed Man on my own. This was supposed to be her duty n yet she kept delaying n delaying. I always wanted to have my own family, wanted to have someone whom i could love, sacrifice for, n respect like my mother was towards my late father, i wanted to have kids so i would have someone to love me like how i love my mom, i wanted to have kids who won't feel alone, unlike how i did growing up without any sibling n support. But alas, clock is ticking n yet my mother has no will to think about me... Already in current times finding a good partner in my early 30s seems an impossible task. No one in society comes to ur help n many thing u are not allowed to do without Mehrm. 😢😫😩
Sister im looking forward to get married alhamdulilah im in my best of my career im also hafiz of quraan
i will be waiting for your respons
@@abdallahmohammad sister. . marry??? Edit your reply
They're mad ( unhappy) cause they want the women out of their house. You should know that.
Why? Isn't the women their own daughter?.... Sorry I don't really understand because this is not my culture
@@mariahsabar3969 People grow up and leave home in my culture whether they marry or not
@@uok6216 Finding daughters husband's is not in every culture. Women choose who they want to marry in a lot of cultures and if they want to marry. Bottomiline, in many cultures. women provide for themselves after a certain point if they are not married
Thank you so much my dear sister
Full video please
Does anyone have the link to the whole vid with all the scholars ?
Kindly share the link of this full event
Looking for a wife to complete my Iman. Can't tell you how important it is for taqwa development and contentment.
Married life has its cons and pros, the same with being single.
But marriage has more pros than it has cons. Remaining single has more cons than it has of benefits.
So get married
Wrong@@hariss8876
Only recognition of a Muslim is "he neVer lie"
Trustworthy.. loyalty
full video link plzzzzz
The pressure is from the society....its all about fate a d destiny
I'm 25 and I wanna get married as quick as possible..my mom says me to complete degree and then get married. .in Pakistan ladies don't want their boys to get married and they even don't want a girl who is above 25..the girl must be a doctor or have degree, must be doing job, must know every single thing about household, fair color ,hieghted ,slim and must be from a very very dam rich family. Plz help what we girls must do....we want to get married but the boy's mother have higher demands and the boys themselves don't wanna get married rather to be in a relationship, haram relationship..sometimes I wanna kill myself for being a girl but I do belive jn Allah's mercy..I am a software engineer and daughter of navy officer but we don't have a big house rather then some flats and live in a rent house..that's the only reason anties reject Me..weird even I'm taller slim fair but am not damn rich..J was thinking to quit marriage search and focus on study and my profession
Make dua.
I'm 25 too, single and software engineer and I'm a women al hamdu lilah. Don't give attention to bad talk do your business and keep faith in Allah plan's He knows what's better for us He is our best friend 🥰 don't forget that. But most IMPORTANTLY Forget about commit suicide don't even think about it Allah doesn't like it. Be patient and keep ur faith safe. I understand your distress sooooo much but your time is comes "koulchi bel mektoub" just do your stuff and keep going. May Allah make it easy for us 🤲
@@ma_verite Allah.. mashallah your are so sweet..thank u so much 🥰🥰
@@abeerafazal6700 you're welcome 🥰 take care of you sis
I'm 28 unmarried, and same problem with Indian muslims they have higher demands girl should be beautiful. That's why I have decided not to marry and to complete my study, become independent . And I'm happy with my life.🥰
I think,it's more difficult to live in this society for divorced women than unmarried one...I'm going through such hard time...I'm single parent of two kids, raising them with all their needs ang right with the whole support of my family,relatives, colleague and friends...even I'm innocent the people will keep thinking that how can she live without a man
Sorry to say, I have seen so many Muslim women are suffering in private men just use for sexual perpose and throw them without marse, may Allah guide them, because I'm not Muslim but I feel for Muslim women how they suffering.
Fix your own people…pogat has questions for instance
Before entry in Islam don't interfare ..
By viewing one cant judge the whole
Accept Islam and See How people are Guided by creator
@@jzkakhayr5957 did he lie tho🤷♂️
@@mdasadullah7470 but is true...you don't know maybe but if you were a woman you would know
As women age, a lot of men will say they will love them. This and that. Then they will get frustrated. It is a real concern because as women age, their anxiety level also grows.
In Islam this is not a must Al Hamdu🙏 Lillah I leave in Europe and no one Care or ask about this all the pepole here are Singles 😂
What's the definition of a suitable spouse? Educate please 💖
Asalam o Alaikum warakhmutala reh barakatuhu, its not necessarily how educated you are it's all about basic.
Basic is how u treat her....if u treat her best ..she will try same...
@@sunrises5774 yes its should work both ways
She is sweet & able ! 😅
The perfect spouse,who is bringing you close to Allah, or who love most to Allah, and the person,who takes deen priorities, he will definitely be perfect spouse
It's a lot easier for women to be accepted by men than it is for men to be accepted by women. Women are much more pickier when it comes to choosing a spouse.
Men demad a wife younger , prettier, pious , with no history of past.....
@@starryeyes469 All you have to do is exist, and men come to you. Then you get to decide if you want to accept them or not. Do men get that kind of free pass in life? Do women approach men and propose to them? Men are the ones that have to prove themselves like, look handsome, have lots of friends, have good career, etc. All women have to do is just look pretty. And you claim that you struggle to get married?
@@blackjaguar324 many nisa strongly agrre with me . Have you ever wondered so many brothers complaining that their wives refuse intimacy ? Because nisas are not attracted to their husbands many stay in forced marraige. Despising their husbands , life. If given the CHOICE 50 percent won't marry.
@@starryeyes469 Then why do they complain that they struggle to get married?
@@blackjaguar324 because they are forced too
Most don't want to but face a backlash from families. Most muslimahs don't like intimacy at all . They only do it as a duty to please the husband. X is the most painful and unwanted thing for every muslimah. We are just forced to do it. Its just like chidbirth which no muslimahs wants to go through but has to do it. For children . Ever wondered why so many muslimahs who are independant and are from good families don't want to marry because they have all the luxury without being intimate or to have x.
Can someone with full knowledge please in details elaborate and explain what it means if a wife obeys her husband she will enter in Jennat .
Allah has given some roles to play for men and women for society in general run smoothly without obstacles. Allah made Men the protector and maintainers ( to provide for her needs) of Women and women his supporter and someone who looks after his belongings and children. There can only be 1 head of the house which can carry out the duties by adhering laws ( if there are 2 there would be a division and conflict in the house) which everyone needs to follow without questioning. ( the laws should be within the boundaries set by islam). So women are expected to obey her husband who is governing the house according to the laws of Allah. With great work comes greater responsibilities ( Men will be questioned about their authority on the day of Judgement and will be held responsible if he failed to do his job being the head of the family)....
So when the hadith mentions that when a wife listen to her husband's commands and follows her duties without being obstacle in his governing she can enter Jannah...
Just a summary... Allah mention in a dream to Prophet Yusuf peace be upon him where he was shown Sun and moon and eleven stars prostrating him.... His dream is interpreted as Sun as the Father, Moon the mother and stars as the children. If you observe Sun is the symbol of sustenance. Men are the bread winner for the family. Whereas women is symbolised as Moon serene and peace. Surrounded by stars which are her children comforting everyone around her. What happens when the roles and orders are switched ??? We see an eclipse !!! Thats what has happened today to the society in general.. The changing of roles have bought a disturbance in families...
Hope this is the answer to your question. You can further ask if you find it difficult to understand :)
@@umbareenfarhat2860 Thank you I respect my husband and listen to him and he does the same for me. But I don’t obey what ever he says because I have the right to correct him if he’s wrong in certain situations that’s he needs help and make decisions. My husband says the head of the house is nothing without his wife who is the lawful Law in the 🏡. We obey Allah ultimately and respect each other as husband and wife we don’t demand and command each other . For us obey means mutual respect be loyal and honest to each other forever. Like the prophet said To men Fear Allah and good decent woman and never fear becoming a Shaheed.
@@umbareenfarhat2860 what commands must a wife listen to from husband
@@umbareenfarhat2860 husband also to needs to his wife and when she command s him and corrects his errors he must listen do and obey because his wife is going through what Allah command us to be
In india being muslim not married after 27 or 28 consider to be as taboo ,and considered as looser ,un success full.labled with strange names too....
Getting married to love of your life is fortune only very ,very few blessed with.....
I think puramul you are the one among them.
First do make a video on struggles of a married woman
Being single, is a Will of God.
Feminism
Those sisters need to work on themselves by raising their SMV. Its all about BEAUTY for women. So go to the gym, start fasting, be humble, learn to run a family, learn about halal contraceptive use after marriage, ok to seek spouses abroad/back home (he gets the visa, you get the MD + $). Focus on improving your mental health (learn and use CBT--recommend David Burn's team-CBT for example). Read more, stop watching tv and dramas, start learning quran + islam + science. Learn a hobby (and get rid of nagging).
Learn Python and Java too.
Why y'all replying like i was serious 😂, May Allah make the affairs of our womenfolk easy.
@@Feisabeilillah Yes! Programming is an excellent and halal hobby to have and you never know when it can come in handy in life. It’s a really useful skill to learn.
What is SMV? BTW liked your comment.
@@Feisabeilillah looking forward to it insha allah. May Allah make it easy. Ameen
@@sarahsajjad6906 sister's marketplace value
Exactly The struggle is real:(
I always love the jokes in my life. It's like, could you put me in a worse position? and then it happens. I ranaway and joined the army only to make someone angry with some sort of power. I was hunted and destroyed. I spent a year being tortured by the CIA. After all of that, I'm the reason why I'm responsible for the life of an Australian pothead and professional. If it isn't "evolution" then it's the middle class that satisfies her rage. She kind of presents as an urban rebel, but she was from a rural community. She likes to blend who she is such as being "trafficked" and yet willingly going to South Africa. All I have to say here is that Zheani and Die Antwood were on something that became bad.
When you tell ChatGPT to type a long paragraph with random stuff 😂
It is good that you drag attention to those facts and at the same time it is important for modern conservative cultures like islam to come up with new social teachings about how to bring people together.
It's just like the capitalism - socialism dilemma: Yes, of cause capitalists gonna promote individual growth culture to derive the attention of the people away from social and political problems, but that doesn't make those individual growth techniques ineffective in themselves.
So muslim cultures, if they don't wanna their cultures to implode one day, like currently in Iran, they have to "modernize" islam carefully. Bring men and women together so that they can meet, practice communication, learn from each other, satisfy their social needs, and perhaps even marry, but never get forced to marry.
With so many women increasingly deliberately delaying marriage and preferring career and education instead, does it not occur to your mind that women are the very contributors to their own problems in finding a spouse? 🤔
I know thats an heart breaking and evident situation today. But this has risen somewhat because of the past generation men who were hard on their wives and acted stingy with spending money to provide for them. Not all but most men treated women unfairly in the past which has eventually given rise to the dangerous idea of Feminism which has disturbed the society in general. Most of the people men of the Ummah didn't pay heeds to the last sermon of the Prophet Peace be upon him where he ( peace be upon him ) emphasized enough to take care of Women. His exact words were, "O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have right over you. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to commit adultery".
And its not just one factor like being ambitious which is barring women from getting married. But other factors like materialism, lookism and preferred neutral family structure also barred their thoughts add the deficiency in deen in today's youth that almost makes it difficult to get married.
@@umbareenfarhat2860 Exactly, most men did not treat their women well, then women retaliated with “all men are trash”, which is just sexism in reverse. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Why do normal, God-fearing Muslim men have to answer for what abusive men did?
@@fardeenmahmud8866 The system is corrupted by now my brother. The God fearing men shall not be questionable to mistake of those abusive men but unfortunately are suffering in silence. We as Ummah are suffering today the good and bads included because of exceeded sins of the people of Ummah. These are the end times where Allah is testing us I'll just advice you to have patience and keep hoping for the best to come your way
@@umbareenfarhat2860 You know, what you said reminds me of the Hadith where the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) tells us about a time coming when holding on to Islam will be like holding a hot coal in one’s hands. The person who manages to do this successfully will have 50x the reward.
Is there any time in human history matches that description, but our time? Al praise is for Allah, who caused us to be born as Millenials/Gen Z. Generations where pious Muslims are exceedingly rare. We ask Allah to make us among that minority. Ameen
And how about wanting to get married young like am now 23 just to avoid fitnah
Women giving more importance to careers than to being wives. That is the main problem. Feminism has a lot to answer for.
Seethe
i am glad i have another choice than being forced to be married . i can choose my life .
@@maryss8767 as you should don’t let these tliban fundamentalists dictate your life
@@ldrago6031 @Mary Ss Nobody is being "forced to be married". Feminists typically delay getting married for their "careers" or "education" and end up single and bitter because of this. You both sound like this.
@@robtecau4963 you sound the only alone and bitter person here male now go bark elsewhere 😂😂
This is an epidemic in the US. Men are willing but women are too picky and prefer careers/vanity over family life.
Damn you people are weak 😂 have fun stressing over marriage lol . Single women are by far the happiest
then you stay unmarried and "happy" .
just don't infect other women destructive ideas.
@@dasboot4194 you think ever unmarried person does adultery? Go repent for assuming bad stuff
@@ldrago6031 you're right about that, I will try to repent, i apologize.
I was out of line because i was angered by the fact that women I ask for marriage are simply not interested in marriage anymore, only job and education.
@@dasboot4194 it’s fine I accept.
Also why don’t you marry a women who wants education and marriage ? I’ve seen loads of those around . Or if you just want someone who only doesn’t want to complete education then ask your mom or sister to look around for one
@@ldrago6031 thank you, of course i don't mind an educated girl, but not big issue, that's what I am looking for, with help of mother ,sister and friends.
Men say they do not get women to marry. Women say they do not get married.
If you want to get good wife, just ask her if she would obey you If she becomes your wife and you will get answer
May god help the woman who is going to be ur wife
If she says NO then she is very sincere or she doesn't want you, and in both cases she is honest with you.
If she says YES then you are at 50% of risk 😅. A Yes doesn't make things straight forward, it's not that simple. 😅
@@sunrises5774 bravo. Great comment
Facts ❤️❤️❤️❤️💐
Obeying is a concept that some women have to learn maybe because it was never demonstrated to them in the homes.
Peace to all. I believe that we are in a point time that marriage will die. I believe that women want more and the men do not want the responsibility of a wife. Sisters are saying they want to get married but really I believe they are enjoying the single life of no pain of giving birth and chasing after kids all day. So just as in the outside world the values have change in the Muslim world.Muslims these days
focus to much on trying to be like the non muslims. Oh yeah if do not think that all of these young unmarried muslim are not having sex well think again. Some point to think about. I use to feel sad for the Muslim sister but everytime you turn around all you hear is bad a experience for our Muslim sister, then I realize that our Muslim sister are no different from worldly women. They are more into chasing their own dreams and goals. Family is not number one anymore. As for the Muslim men why get married and have to deal with a wife mad and yelling at you and you still have to provide when you can have sex for free. Funny no one are taking about these points.
Subhaaaan´Allah! I agree with most of what you have said brother, but I feel shocked at your assumption of Muslims must be doing haraam if they are unmarried. I am an OLD woman, born and raised in the West. I´m unmarried, and have never even held hands with a man. Mash´Allah, alhamdulillah. Most sisters here are exactly like this. We grew up together, so we know each other´s characters. They are highly educated and have helped their parents with both bills and everyday help more than their brothers (of whom most are out doing haraam with white girls). Many of these sons don´t even call their parents. They occasionally show up to eat good food.
Most Muslim parents in the West raise their daughters to excel in both the non-Muslim society as well as with their Islamic adab/manners. Muslim women here are known as "goody two shoes" and "boring". They have been taught to cook really well, clean and keep a great house, but the sons didn´t even have to make their bed. When it came to time for marriage, many of these girls had to get arranged marriage to imported husbands. Some got married to cousins that craved living abroad. Do you know why? Because their peers, the Muslim guys born there, had neither gone to university nor shown any interest in pious Muslim girls. So please brother...do not assume that Muslim women are doing haraam things. Alhamdulillah, it is RARE. Hijaabi sisters are even not desired by most Muslim men in the West. The quiet and reserved girls weren´t even looked at in university and at work. Most men are visual, they chase what they can see. Even many religious brothers like to marry the hijabi Barbies that wear tight bodycon dresses, laugh loudly and wear high heels. Seriously, modest women are overlooked. Men do not even look at them. We are the chicks with the glasses and the intelligent look, running from the chemistry lab at university to our home to help our parents to the dentist! It´s either a cousin marriage or imported guy of mom´s choice.
@@Khwaab Thank you for the reply sister! Love your insight, but I spoke on both men and women. Seem like all you heard was what I stated about the sisters. You are right the brothers are not,but at the same time the sisters that you are talking about also overlook every day muslim brother. This is her right....to say yes or no to whatever she wants far as who she picks.See just as much as the some brothers do not want the sisters that you are talking about, those same sisters might over look some brother who they should be looking at. As for boys and girls, well all the push is behind the girls these days. We just do not push the boys anymore. Undeveloped boys means look at the parenting. We do not like to speak on that. When I was speaking the 1st time it was from an overall perspective not an all girl or an all guy perspective. Bottom line is the world as a whole do not value marriage and kids any more. The sisters are more educated and make more money and they want that in their husbands. The men may not value these things. This is not good or bad just life.
@@shadeedmuhammad8107 Yes, you make good points mash’Allah. Jazak’Allahu khayr. Yes, my parents also say that women today are much more qualified and that if a university-graduate woman marries a car-mechanic for example, nobody will have a problem with it except for the man (him feeling inferior even if she re-assures him everyday that such things don’t matter in love). I don’t know about overlooking the regular brothers 😕. All the women around me got married to exactly such men, and sadly…there are other problems with them. Hygiene, not being romantic, not helping so much with household chores, not even giving compliments about the cooking, being stingy with money etc. Oh well, nobody’s perfect. I’m sure we women are seen as nagging, chronically dissatisfied and unkempt as well 😁.
A lot of my Muslim friends are also divorced or just ”getting by”. Almost everyone says ”In it for the kids”. 🙁 Makes me depressed for them at times. Some of them truly got married to fulfil their Deen. Like, I don’t know more than 1 lady who seems truly happy. A big problem ailing the Ummah is husbands addicted to online filth and claiming ”It’s not being unfaithful when it’s just women on the screen” 😵😨. Others are chatting to Muslim women on marriage sites, pretending to be single. A lot of converts get fooled by these men. They chat them up but are in reality a father of 3. They just want to come to the West and use the convert sister for ease. They treat them like a free meal ticket and care ZERO about her getting disillusioned about Muslims/Islam. These men put them through truly heart-wrenching situations, and are just treating women like shoes that you change through seasons. I find all these matters really depressing and angering. All around, I think it’s much safer to just stay single as a woman, and connected to Allah. I do think marriage is much much better for men. For us Muslim women, the pool is VERY small. For Muslim men…they get away with everything, even marrying women with the excuse ”Ahl-e-Kitaab” when she’s a random woman they met at the nightclub and not even remotely a Christian/Jew. They see white woman = Ahl-e-Kitaab. Whether she’s Atheist, Agnostic or even some crystal-believing New Ager. And not even the imam will say anything.
@@Khwaab Again who raise these men? More work need to be done from the parents. With that being said seem like we are standing on 2 different concepts. I believe marriage is dead or dying out. I do not want to comment on women because that was not my point. If I did I could have a long list also. I do not want to comment on the men well that's a long list also.This is the modern world therefore you get modern results.
In south Asia rich and upper middle class women face problem because they have high demands.
Even poor have issues cause no rich wants their daughter. These days people look out for the other halves with equal status or a level up... They ain't going down lol
@@umbareenfarhat2860 its their choice . Mostly Groom 's family also want tall and fair girl its should be respected too.
@@uok6216 everyone has it own choice and preferences.
@@shaad1628 these delusional preferences had led to the crackdown of society and made marraige hard. But I'm grateful for preferences as show the background of families make you recognise the people and their value lol
If women have preferences you call them high demands how hypocritic of you.
Ayewallah MashaAllah 👍💯☝️⚖️🧕🧔👨👩👧👧🤲💐🌹🤺
Message is good and useful but i dont find Islam is properly followed over here....correct me if i m wrong... I feel even wearing hijab and showing face is not appropriate... Look at Nouman Staring at her... And she is sitting with beautiful face in front of 3 na mehram... Is it really how it supposed to be?? Are you really someone who knows Islam deeply to tell others... If you can't follow why others would do??
Totally agree,he not supposed to be looking anyway.Mohammed pbuh hadith states all believing women and men should lower gaze and keep hijaab,which our sisters often confuse as just body hair,not its the the face as well ,prime example this video
But he's just looking at her when listening. I'm a female myself and in islam both man and women need to lower gaze. When someone is speaking. You do look at them. There's nothing wrong with that. Please understand and not think too much.
@@nuhabashir1672 I agree u should listen but no point of staring. Wherein it's written u should look at the person when they are talking especially girl. I have seen other videos too where I have never seen staring like this... Forget about speakers speaking like mohammad Ali and talha's videos but also the videos where a cricketer is giving his interview but didn't look at her while his eyes were on a different direction... Here everyone is watching her... Myself can't stop getting attracted to her forget about guys
@@arshiqadri8946 I understand what u mean.
Sister, I don't know what country you're from but Shaykha Muslema Purmul is from the United States and in the USA, it is common to look at a person when they speak. It is considered rude to not look at the speaker.
I noted the other speakers are not looking at her in this short clip and at times NAK is not looking at her. I too noted him looking at her and it felt like he was staring but we cannot jump to conclusions and judgements without context of seeing the entire talk and having a level of omniscience that only God has. Isn't it wrong of us to do that because we're at the risk of falsely accusing him? And do we want to repay him on Judgement Day with some of our hasanat for a wrongful accusation?
Yes
M in a friendship with a boy who didn't want to commit me nd now m 25 nd I realised that he want to passing his time with me nd I gave up on him