I love your videos, keep up the good work 🥰 I've been struggling a lot with *spirituality* and trying to find what I believe. I grew up super religious but I've pulled away from religion a lot, and I'm way more interested in psychology now; not that those are mutually exclusive, but I grew up being taught that "demons" cause depression and anxiety, which was traumatic for me because I'm autistic and went undiagnosed my entire life, so all my sensory issues and panic attacks were attributed to "demons" and I believed I was this evil person simply because I struggled with my mental health. 😓 Anyways, nowadays I'm studying body language analysis, which comes with a lot of evolutionary psychology (for example, we cover our abdomens when we're nervous because of the way we evolved to protect our internal organs.) Anyways I love your videos, you're super well-spoken and your voice is really soothing and comforting, I hope your channel grows really fast 🥰
Thank you so much for reaching out and for your kind words :) I agree that it's important to always stay curious about our own belief systems, so good on you for doing that! We can always evolve and change our minds about anything because learning never stops. Body language analysis sounds fascinating -- please keep me posted on what you discover
Interesting. I would like to watch a video from you dedicated to the subject "the right man for you". For clarity on what are the important aspects that makes a man right for a woman, since clearly being a good man with great background or strong initial attraction isn't.
Your evolutionary explanation might explain early-stage uncertainty, but other factors like abandonment issues also play a role, or societal expectations, or what her friends want her to be with, etc. A woman can have mixed feelings about one man, leave him to fall in love with another man, head over heels… because he’s hot. In retrospect she may have been happier with the first man, and her reservations were based in insecurity or fear of abandonment or low self-esteem perhaps. Following the video’s advice, women may end up in their 30s with just cats and wine for comfort. These issues require a deeper analysis.
Everything you say is true. Part of a woman's maturity is recognizing the difference between the two men you described and understanding what is best for her long-term happiness. A single woman in her 30s with cats and wine is not a tragedy. The real tragedy is when a woman stays in a mediocre relationship with someone she never had strong feelings for due to agreeableness and outdated survival instincts. Once marriage, children, and social investment are involved, it becomes hard to leave. The mistake is not leaving soon enough.
I'm a 30-year man, and I've been delving into these topics for probably a decade, privately. I don't know how to interpret this video, but I'm not trying to be mean. But these are my take-aways from this video: 1. Women cannot overcome their nature 2. Uncertainty is misleading because its caused by a relatively speaking, now-outdated nature that both gets you attached too fast, and detached too slow If this is true, I'll feel extreme sadness. Simply because I don't want to date a woman who cannot (in collaboration with me) overcome their nature. It means she won't be able to handle my (to be conceived) awesome kids. My kids are definitely going to overcome their nature and become the best version of themselves. If these are my ambitions, evolutionarily speaking, what would be a good approach to signal this to a woman? I'm bi, and I have some expressions that may appear feminine. This is probably relevant to that nature you spoke of in the video. One tip though on the video itself: create images that summarise what you've said. Images that outline a scenario, or an informative illustration like a graph perhaps. This will force you to think of it as a whole too, not just as a narrative. But definitely prioritise your narrative like you do. Cheers! I find your general video style great! Thanks for sharing.
She is of course generalizing, there are plenty of amazing evolved women out there just like there are plenty of evolved men. We will be nothing but animals if we just follow our nature which we have been fighting since the days we discovered fire.
Thank you so much for your comment! On the subject of evolutionary psychology being depressing -- I think it depends how you look at things. Sometimes seeing things through the lens of EP can be liberating. But EP is not a theory of everything, it is just a tool you can use to help understand some of life's problems. If you are in a relationship with a woman, there may be biological mechanisms at play that are tying her to you, yes. But there is also true love, which in my view is the most powerful human emotion and overrides everything else -- so try not to despair. Thank you for your feedback on the videos -- they will get better and become more engaging soon. I'm still new here :)
Could you explain this perspective further? I believe it depends on how you define attachment. If we're referring to attachment theory, it seems that while the basic principles are universal, how attachment is expressed can vary based on different factors, including gender. From an evolutionary psychology perspective, the internal conflict a woman feels about staying with or leaving a new partner (which we could call attachment) is gender-specific because it relates to her unique vulnerabilities as a woman.
It is hard for me to understand what point does author wants to make. Whether our nature is outdated or not will not affect the clear fact that we all are going to deal with it (our nature) till the day we die. So better to work with one's nature and not against it. The only rational conclusion when you think that your feelings are not going to be thrown away just because you can rationalize why they should be (talking from a fucking experience here) - think 2-3 times (10 times if needed and don't give a fuck who says what about it) before having sex if you are a women. It is also advice to the men , but for women it is more important to follow.
You make a good point, you can't really change your inherent nature. But we can educate ourselves, and that education can inform better decision making, despite how we might "feel" about something. The idea here is that once you know better, you do better. For some people it takes many, many personal experiences before they finally learn their lessons. Others can learn quickly, by paying attention to others (or from watching youtube videos! :) thank you for your comment !
I love your videos, keep up the good work 🥰 I've been struggling a lot with *spirituality* and trying to find what I believe. I grew up super religious but I've pulled away from religion a lot, and I'm way more interested in psychology now; not that those are mutually exclusive, but I grew up being taught that "demons" cause depression and anxiety, which was traumatic for me because I'm autistic and went undiagnosed my entire life, so all my sensory issues and panic attacks were attributed to "demons" and I believed I was this evil person simply because I struggled with my mental health. 😓 Anyways, nowadays I'm studying body language analysis, which comes with a lot of evolutionary psychology (for example, we cover our abdomens when we're nervous because of the way we evolved to protect our internal organs.)
Anyways I love your videos, you're super well-spoken and your voice is really soothing and comforting, I hope your channel grows really fast 🥰
Thank you so much for reaching out and for your kind words :) I agree that it's important to always stay curious about our own belief systems, so good on you for doing that! We can always evolve and change our minds about anything because learning never stops. Body language analysis sounds fascinating -- please keep me posted on what you discover
Interesting. I would like to watch a video from you dedicated to the subject "the right man for you". For clarity on what are the important aspects that makes a man right for a woman, since clearly being a good man with great background or strong initial attraction isn't.
Thank you for your suggestion -- stay tuned :)
Your evolutionary explanation might explain early-stage uncertainty, but other factors like abandonment issues also play a role, or societal expectations, or what her friends want her to be with, etc. A woman can have mixed feelings about one man, leave him to fall in love with another man, head over heels… because he’s hot. In retrospect she may have been happier with the first man, and her reservations were based in insecurity or fear of abandonment or low self-esteem perhaps. Following the video’s advice, women may end up in their 30s with just cats and wine for comfort. These issues require a deeper analysis.
Everything you say is true. Part of a woman's maturity is recognizing the difference between the two men you described and understanding what is best for her long-term happiness. A single woman in her 30s with cats and wine is not a tragedy. The real tragedy is when a woman stays in a mediocre relationship with someone she never had strong feelings for due to agreeableness and outdated survival instincts. Once marriage, children, and social investment are involved, it becomes hard to leave. The mistake is not leaving soon enough.
I'm a 30-year man, and I've been delving into these topics for probably a decade, privately.
I don't know how to interpret this video, but I'm not trying to be mean. But these are my take-aways from this video:
1. Women cannot overcome their nature
2. Uncertainty is misleading because its caused by a relatively speaking, now-outdated nature that both gets you attached too fast, and detached too slow
If this is true, I'll feel extreme sadness. Simply because I don't want to date a woman who cannot (in collaboration with me) overcome their nature.
It means she won't be able to handle my (to be conceived) awesome kids. My kids are definitely going to overcome their nature and become the best version of themselves.
If these are my ambitions, evolutionarily speaking, what would be a good approach to signal this to a woman?
I'm bi, and I have some expressions that may appear feminine. This is probably relevant to that nature you spoke of in the video.
One tip though on the video itself: create images that summarise what you've said. Images that outline a scenario, or an informative illustration like a graph perhaps.
This will force you to think of it as a whole too, not just as a narrative. But definitely prioritise your narrative like you do.
Cheers! I find your general video style great! Thanks for sharing.
She is of course generalizing, there are plenty of amazing evolved women out there just like there are plenty of evolved men. We will be nothing but animals if we just follow our nature which we have been fighting since the days we discovered fire.
Thank you so much for your comment! On the subject of evolutionary psychology being depressing -- I think it depends how you look at things. Sometimes seeing things through the lens of EP can be liberating. But EP is not a theory of everything, it is just a tool you can use to help understand some of life's problems. If you are in a relationship with a woman, there may be biological mechanisms at play that are tying her to you, yes. But there is also true love, which in my view is the most powerful human emotion and overrides everything else -- so try not to despair. Thank you for your feedback on the videos -- they will get better and become more engaging soon. I'm still new here :)
I love your videos so much!!
I love yours!
Nice discovery! Thanks RUclips for suggesting videos with low views... (For now)
Thank you for watching!
Attachment theory is the same regardless of gender, it's basic human psychology
Could you explain this perspective further? I believe it depends on how you define attachment. If we're referring to attachment theory, it seems that while the basic principles are universal, how attachment is expressed can vary based on different factors, including gender. From an evolutionary psychology perspective, the internal conflict a woman feels about staying with or leaving a new partner (which we could call attachment) is gender-specific because it relates to her unique vulnerabilities as a woman.
It is hard for me to understand what point does author wants to make. Whether our nature is outdated or not will not affect the clear fact that we all are going to deal with it (our nature) till the day we die. So better to work with one's nature and not against it. The only rational conclusion when you think that your feelings are not going to be thrown away just because you can rationalize why they should be (talking from a fucking experience here) - think 2-3 times (10 times if needed and don't give a fuck who says what about it) before having sex if you are a women. It is also advice to the men , but for women it is more important to follow.
You make a good point, you can't really change your inherent nature. But we can educate ourselves, and that education can inform better decision making, despite how we might "feel" about something. The idea here is that once you know better, you do better. For some people it takes many, many personal experiences before they finally learn their lessons. Others can learn quickly, by paying attention to others (or from watching youtube videos! :) thank you for your comment !