Most SUSPECT Military TikToks Ever

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  • Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2022
  • Another Military Fails video because I've had plenty of failures in the Army and so have all other veterans and military branch members reacting to funny military tiktok fails! Let me know in the comments your worst military fail or scare!
    #funny #military #reaction #tiktok
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Комментарии • 714

  • @ThomasBoyce5000
    @ThomasBoyce5000 Год назад +682

    Favorite military TikToks are yours with all the branches as roommates, specifically when everyone meets Space Force and Potato's son.

    • @nikkoortizshorts
      @nikkoortizshorts Год назад +32

      Appreciate you Thomas!

    • @mariedockery1126
      @mariedockery1126 Год назад +12

      I miss the branches

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +80

      Lmfao that was a good one😂😂

    • @truckasaurus8948
      @truckasaurus8948 Год назад +14

      @@nikkoortiz I second this one. I've been begging for you to make another video giving us an update on baby potato

    • @Caraxes_T
      @Caraxes_T Год назад +6

      The 911 operator one was the funniest

  • @aidanweber7055
    @aidanweber7055 Год назад +114

    So I was a marine postal man (literally worked for usps on marine bases). The training for that was on Fort Jackson. One day when we hand nothing to do and the command wanted to keep us busy, they had us pick up pine cones and arrange them in a pattern around the pine trees.

    • @XanderLeak
      @XanderLeak Год назад +2

      what for exactly? respect? ceremony? or just for shits and giggles?

    • @XanderLeak
      @XanderLeak Год назад +1

      or were they just extremely bored

    • @XavianBrightly
      @XavianBrightly 3 месяца назад +2

      ​@@XanderLeakbecause they told him to

  • @KyndalDickerson359
    @KyndalDickerson359 Год назад +97

    “This had to be the gayest conversation any human being can have” got me cracking up 😂

  • @darlingdeb7010
    @darlingdeb7010 Год назад +27

    I was visiting my boyfriend at The "Great" Place (Ft. Hood), walking up to his barracks while it was pouring. Walked past a private mopping the sidewalk with a Sargent yelling in his face, "You missed a spot!" It was awesome.

    • @Writer_Boi.
      @Writer_Boi. Год назад +1

      They’ll find a reason to smoke their sorry asses. I hope your boyfriend wasn’t as unlucky.

  • @noahbraden1244
    @noahbraden1244 Год назад +49

    I was in my ROTC unit with a 3rd gen military cadet, he said while his dad was training, he killed a sand flea on an exercise. So the DI made him dig a 6 foot grave for the flea in the sand and as soon as he finished covering up the grave, the DI asked “which way did you bury the flea, back or stomach?” Regardless, he dug the fucking thing back up to flip it over.🤣

  • @IMTHEMOTHERFUCKINGMAILMAN
    @IMTHEMOTHERFUCKINGMAILMAN Год назад +36

    4:55 When the us military says their best tank is the Abrams.
    They're actually just referring to this absolute unit named Abrams.

  • @rebeccaherrera6006
    @rebeccaherrera6006 Год назад +96

    Lmao!! I went to basic and my husband literally spoke to me softer!

  • @ElyseStandard
    @ElyseStandard Год назад +15

    Marines are expected to have their sleeves rolled as tight as possible. My arms aren't nearly that big but I still needed help removing mine some days when it got really hot out. Sleeves that are worn loosely are referred to as "gunny sleeves" because its most common to see a gunny who gives zero walking around with them.

  • @brandonthomas2412
    @brandonthomas2412 Год назад +105

    "I have a rock up my ass" had me dying

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +17

      Bro I was dead aswell 😂

  • @nikkoortizshorts
    @nikkoortizshorts Год назад +27

    I’ve never seen arms this big in my life

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +7

      I just wanna smell his strong military arms lol

    • @RLL212
      @RLL212 Год назад +1

      I don't see the attraction in that shit. It's gross when your muscles have muscles.

    • @samuel66881
      @samuel66881 Год назад +1

      @@RLL212 good thing no one does it for you

    • @qtea3.149
      @qtea3.149 Год назад +2

      @@RLL212 Well it’s gross when your chins have chins but we aren’t talking about you are we?

    • @Sidthesloth77
      @Sidthesloth77 Год назад

      @@qtea3.149 😂😂😂

  • @vsilverhand766
    @vsilverhand766 Год назад +11

    Nikko you a unit bruh. Army experience, Navy sus, and Marine humor. Would've loved serving with you bro. Semper from the USMC

  • @ShayyButter
    @ShayyButter Год назад +8

    "yall are in a tent - and people BROUGHT TENTS" the screaming, the bleeps, the constant swearing - this is the laugh I needed this morning!

  • @clueless4085
    @clueless4085 Год назад +7

    My boy told me they made the boots collect "exhaust samples" from the vehicles in the motor pool.
    They'd have one hold a trash bag over the exhaust and the other hit the gas. Then they were told to label them and take them to the office, and told not to spill any or they'd have to start over. 😅

  • @Kamedouken
    @Kamedouken Год назад +5

    Dumbest thing I made my pfcs do was when they were giving our armorer a hard time who happened to be an nco and I heard him yelling at them, I told the landscapers that we’re cutting the barracks grass to take a break. I chilled with the landscapers and had some beers with them in the smoke pit while watching the platoon line up and cut the grass by ripping the grass one by one. If one went to fast they had to go all the way back. It was phenomenal

  • @feelinspiffy696
    @feelinspiffy696 Год назад +2

    bro done did a backflip outta that plane

  • @lilyjackson8347
    @lilyjackson8347 Год назад +214

    so happy for all you success on all your platforms dude! i've watched your videos everyday i feel down, and you never fail to lift my spirits. Si vis pacem, para bellum.

  • @p.awesome_games
    @p.awesome_games Год назад +37

    "You don't put blackface on black face" had me dead bro

  • @PerseusEsq
    @PerseusEsq Год назад +12

    My grandpa who is a retired Air Force colonel is really really amused by your branches videos especially the ones that roast the Air Force. He has me download them and send them to my grandma so she can show him on her iPad because he is a boomer and can’t work a computer or smartphone.

  • @hellofromalcatraz
    @hellofromalcatraz Год назад +7

    We just not gonna talk about the part where the shirt sleeve guy was like “I’m gonna try to go limp”

  • @ryanbunch450
    @ryanbunch450 Год назад +2

    Navy branch drooling when they see the ripped guy

  • @discardedroses
    @discardedroses Год назад +25

    Niko saying skreets made my entire day 💀💀💀💀💀

  • @rosen12
    @rosen12 Год назад +12

    5:23 they gon be fighting and he just gonna pick up a tank and throw it at them casually

  • @andrewferneau8720
    @andrewferneau8720 Год назад +186

    Was literally at work when I watched this, the “they were at kissing height” made me almost spit out my coffee 😂
    Also I wasn’t in the military but my buddy who did said something stupid to a drill Srgt was tol to go vacuum the grass, another buddy was told to go collect the rain with a bucket

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +33

      Lmao vacuuming the grass god damn 😂

  • @hannahrasch795
    @hannahrasch795 Год назад +5

    My dad once told me he made his privates sweep the sand on the beach near his base😂😂

  • @520beardown
    @520beardown Год назад +6

    Nikko How do you miss him saying im gonna try and be limp at 5:42 🤣

  • @jackiesaves6712
    @jackiesaves6712 Год назад +5

    I love the ones that insinuate that the marine is banging navy 😂 Love your videos! ❤

  • @oasjemdso4672
    @oasjemdso4672 Год назад +5

    Yeah I'm definitely getting a feeling that the Navy is your true personality lol

  • @nathanaelaguirre4516
    @nathanaelaguirre4516 Год назад +7

    My ex fiancé she was in the military in the army to be exact and she always tried to take control but then was always emotional on how things ended up so I had to put my foot down but we always went back-and-forth sadly things never worked it out

  • @timhenson4184
    @timhenson4184 Год назад +2

    Black on black makes perfect sense in that the natural oils in your skin make it shiny. The camo paint is a flat color. No shine.

  • @BRITISHFURY_1664
    @BRITISHFURY_1664 Год назад +30

    Can't believe he's grown so much....navy must be doing some favours...

  • @LadyRage1990
    @LadyRage1990 Год назад +8

    Your tiktoks are the absolute best hands down bro! Ain't even a competition 🤣

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +3

      Omg lady I appreciate you!

  • @jenna702native
    @jenna702native Год назад +2

    I'm not in the military so I don't want to front but I think I would definitely be like homegirl lol. Fun video thanks for the laugh - "they're using tents inside a tent" love your commentary!

  • @BrutallyHonestwithNikkoOrtiz
    @BrutallyHonestwithNikkoOrtiz Год назад +5

    if im being brutally honest.....military tiktoks are the best especially the kissing ones

    • @mariedockery1126
      @mariedockery1126 Год назад

      you sus bro!

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +1

      Kissing is cool sometimes

    • @kimikiwi2293
      @kimikiwi2293 Год назад +1

      Rofl you're editor is great lol but the original is even funnier. Just maybe not okay for RUclips lol

  • @s.cottrill
    @s.cottrill Год назад +4

    I had a exhaust sample make it all the way up to the Battalion XO needless to say I had to make a special trip to HQ to explain why I let it get that far.

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад

      Omg the exhaust samples 😂😂

  • @havoc1zero
    @havoc1zero Год назад +6

    I made my squad flip rocks in the gravel pit all afternoon so they wouldn’t get too burned on one side. They learned not to rat out who smuggled in the vodka. Those Uzbek sources are hard to come by.

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +3

      😂😂😂 the fuckery lol

  • @TheMacManusTwins
    @TheMacManusTwins Год назад +5

    Congrats on your growing success, Nikko! And going hand in hand with the military tik toks, why not do some reactions to the military k9 tik toks? Our service k9s need some love too lol

  • @TylerValenzia
    @TylerValenzia Год назад +10

    Lol I made the cut 😂 thanks for featuring me bro. That reaction was hilarious haha

  • @YoungBottleCap
    @YoungBottleCap Год назад +4

    I have never used my military discount, except for this one time. My dad made me go to home depot and buy him shit so I could use my discount xD

  • @Down_Bad_For_Tmol
    @Down_Bad_For_Tmol Год назад +1

    4:51 You know your buff when your veins have veins😂

  • @TheBiggestSpeedy
    @TheBiggestSpeedy Год назад +2

    I had to pressure wash the parking lot in the pouring rain 🤣

  • @BrilliantRipeMike
    @BrilliantRipeMike Месяц назад

    0:12 Don't have one, but personally, I love the shorts where you are reacting to military fails!

  • @rickmacland3120
    @rickmacland3120 Год назад +5

    I once made a private cut his grass with scissors. He didn't want to cut it and Top was in my ass about it, so I got real stupid with him.

  • @mariedockery1126
    @mariedockery1126 Год назад +17

    Sus and very funny! making days better Nikko!!! ❤

  • @micc_armybrat2523
    @micc_armybrat2523 Год назад +6

    Love the highlights!! So effing funny! And your laugh - LOVE IT!! 😂

  • @Spiderman.-holding.a-kitten.
    @Spiderman.-holding.a-kitten. Год назад

    I love ur videos so much, I was having a panic attack and within a couple seconds I was laughing, I and very thankful for u nik. Thank u and have a great day!

  • @hotrodmike7581
    @hotrodmike7581 Год назад +6

    Salute the squirrels. Apparently the rodents were trained to stare at you till you give them food and your not allowed to stop saluting until they go away.

  • @Tabbie4465
    @Tabbie4465 Год назад +1

    Definitely my favorite RUclipsr/ tik toker. Definitely brightens my day each time you post 😂

  • @wolfrunner4395
    @wolfrunner4395 Год назад +3

    My favorite tiktok video has to be when you made a tiktok about the Army JROTC 😂 it was hilarious cause its so true, and I am in JROTC right now so it was even better! Love the videos by the way! Great work!

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +2

      Lmfao thanks bro!! That was a good one!

    • @wolfrunner4395
      @wolfrunner4395 Год назад

      No problem, lol. Watching Army try to protect JROTC was hilarious as well.

  • @dumpskerd8092
    @dumpskerd8092 Год назад +2

    Former marine. I made my boots sweep the sand in 29 palms for leaving cig butts everywhere but the smoke pit can lmfao

  • @bryanrolph
    @bryanrolph Год назад +4

    1Sgt had a guy vacuuming a parking lot once. Forget what he did, but it was hilarious to watch.

  • @Goldmasterflex
    @Goldmasterflex Год назад +2

    Oh my God we need nikko animated get the "how hood soldiers shoot" clip animated. "He's not even fighting the enemy" got me sideways lmao

  • @christianrodriguez629
    @christianrodriguez629 10 месяцев назад

    I love this dude . He’s a total badass and funny af!!! Love this content !!😂

  • @christamarie16
    @christamarie16 Год назад +2

    From an active duty soldier. Love your content bro ❤️

  • @bruhgus2557
    @bruhgus2557 Год назад +41

    Holy shit nik I remember your channel at 50k and I came back to you at 1m. Good fucking job 👍

  • @gford1491
    @gford1491 Год назад +6

    You now that buff marine hasnt ate a mre since basic

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +1

      😂😂😂 to many calories

  • @clairesuzanne1
    @clairesuzanne1 Год назад +7

    My grandma prepared me for BS details. If us kids were acting up we were sent into the woods to pick up sticks.

  • @19delta25
    @19delta25 Год назад +1

    This dude’s stuff is the best no matter what it is he is reacting to or the stuff he does 😂😂😂😂

  • @drewbn
    @drewbn Год назад +10

    I love these vids, keep going :)

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +3

      Thanks 69 gonna keep sending!

  • @danielmcdowell9526
    @danielmcdowell9526 Год назад +1

    It's good to see the things I weld holding up a service member by there belt. And it won't break the belt might but that lower block ain't going nowhere

  • @Nikkolive
    @Nikkolive Год назад +13

    More military tiktoks please!!

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +4

      More military tiktoks to come!

  • @heckboy263idjjd9
    @heckboy263idjjd9 Год назад +3

    New podcast anytime soon? First one was a banger! Can’t wait for more!

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +1

      Just finish up up website then stufio and it’s up!

  • @A1ITC
    @A1ITC Год назад

    Your my favorite content creator I love the content always makes me laugh 😂

  • @malakairamirez4856
    @malakairamirez4856 Год назад +4

    this is amazing!! ur funny as hell brooo!! 🤣🤣

  • @bryanhernandez7318
    @bryanhernandez7318 Год назад +1

    I’ve literally gone to a store and when I asked they’re like here’s this coupon, it’ll give you a better deal than your military discount…. 😂

  • @Ethan-kp4vz
    @Ethan-kp4vz Год назад +1

    5:23 blud counts as an entire platoon 💀

  • @Djrealfake
    @Djrealfake Год назад

    Yo you got that Great clips haircut looking good, see you been taking advice from Navy 😂. Nah you know I love you Nick!

  • @jenfelicio7991
    @jenfelicio7991 Год назад +2

    Shovel snow at Fort Drum while it is still freaking snowing… fun when it’s lake effect snow ❄️ too.

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +1

      Oh hell no! Lol

    • @jenfelicio7991
      @jenfelicio7991 Год назад +1

      @@nikkoortiz yup. Gotta love the endless tasks for being stupid lol 😂

  • @gp.5989
    @gp.5989 Год назад +5

    Jamesons Travels gave you a shout out for being so funny. I see some great collab potential there.

  • @011CJ
    @011CJ Год назад

    Thanks for the vids

  • @JBoBo_69
    @JBoBo_69 Год назад

    I was in for 16 years , and loved every minute.

  • @brickcity9380
    @brickcity9380 11 месяцев назад

    That body builder was definitely on some gear!

  • @newchillynoble2412
    @newchillynoble2412 Год назад

    Love ur stuff bro, accurate fs

  • @benjaminsnyder4352
    @benjaminsnyder4352 Год назад

    Love you tiktok about how the different branches eat its fucking simple and hilarious. And I love the fat electrician

  • @ReaperTaskForce
    @ReaperTaskForce Год назад

    Thank u for your service and I love your vids and how you react to these vids can you do more with narrator

  • @Mr.Nobody-21
    @Mr.Nobody-21 Год назад +3

    Love these vids!!!

  • @jojoemcgeejoe457
    @jojoemcgeejoe457 Год назад

    dude that was bouncing around on that tarp pretending to shoot was just moving into the impact spot where the return fire misses then become hits.

  • @dougenyart9243
    @dougenyart9243 Год назад +1

    Rake the sand in the desert 😆 🤣
    Looking for the keys to the hummer
    Given a class on proper fox holes with a functional grenade sump
    Picking everything that dosent grow on line

  • @Mause-10
    @Mause-10 Год назад +3

    Love the vids man keep it up

  • @kaitsmith1490
    @kaitsmith1490 10 месяцев назад +1

    Omg So weird! Love your channels🎉

  • @jvelez047
    @jvelez047 Год назад +2

    Love your vids Nikko

  • @Misguided1111
    @Misguided1111 Год назад +2

    Love your content boo 👻 …keep it up ❤

  • @Rynam
    @Rynam Год назад

    I've gotten let go all three times when I was in uniform when getting pulled over.. it DOES help for sure I would say.

  • @FlyhighSkyKing
    @FlyhighSkyKing Год назад +1

    Me and the boys out vacuuming the sand while watching the mortar team.

  • @Stoutcody539
    @Stoutcody539 Год назад

    Had s6 take a private stand on a connex with an unattached antenna try to get signal lol

  • @javic2202
    @javic2202 Год назад +11

    I am dead! You’re seriously funny! 😂 love all your videos btw.

  • @RUforrealsJosh
    @RUforrealsJosh Год назад

    I LOVE YOUR CONTENT. I go to basic soon. Wish me luck. I’m bringing nothing but my trusty potato

  • @austingaming1017
    @austingaming1017 Год назад

    I literally just watched this compilation and now technically watching it again

  • @furygeist
    @furygeist 9 месяцев назад

    That guy who got stuck in his shirt. 😂 What a weird problem to have. Gotta give it to the seams on that uniform. They stood and served under great duress. How the hell did they not bust?!

  • @eggman2948
    @eggman2948 Год назад +1

    yo i love the content man keep up the good work

  • @a.N.....
    @a.N..... Год назад +1

    if youtube shorts count (because i dont watch tiktok) it has to be the one you made with the bo burnham jam in the background. it hits so good.

  • @voidlycool3902
    @voidlycool3902 Год назад

    This was hilarious 😆

  • @mephisto1176
    @mephisto1176 Год назад +2

    When did the USMC start putting name tapes on trousers? lol And those quick Squad Rush Drills had me dying

    • @nikkoortiz
      @nikkoortiz  Год назад +1

      You can choose to get them sewn on! A lot of dudes do it before going to school!

    • @Reabies1
      @Reabies1 Год назад

      We're required to have them in our trousers. Been a requirement ever sense digicams were a thing

  • @tovarisch3490
    @tovarisch3490 7 месяцев назад

    5:10 I bet that guy doesn't need to add that fold when he rolls his sleeves

  • @crookedtoothcustoms6316
    @crookedtoothcustoms6316 Год назад

    Best thing was vacuuming a gravel drive 😂 they could be done with there wasn't anymore gravel dust

  • @lilpj31
    @lilpj31 11 месяцев назад

    my dad and his buddy just started a concealed carry company, my dad was in the military and he just retired from the sheriffs office.

  • @asbjornflindt618
    @asbjornflindt618 Год назад

    That last one tho XD hahaha

  • @Wilsonite00
    @Wilsonite00 Год назад +1

    Bro skinny Pete is like hey did I sit on this rock or did this rock sit on me

  • @veteranLT3373
    @veteranLT3373 Год назад

    Was told to take the leaves in December at FT Lee. Not a leaf in sight.

  • @pinklion9444
    @pinklion9444 Год назад

    We had to MOP THE RAIN WHILE ITS SHILL RAINING IN PT GEAR LIKE WTF!!!!! 😂

  • @johnclaudetaylor5224
    @johnclaudetaylor5224 Год назад

    Being jacked in the Corps everyday was a struggle 😂