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What should a married couple do after a spouse has cheated?

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  • Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
  • www.desiringGod...

Комментарии • 287

  • @unoduetredici4683
    @unoduetredici4683 3 года назад +112

    Thank you for identifying the difference between forgiveness and trust.

  • @robertryntathiang7281
    @robertryntathiang7281 2 года назад +40

    You can forgive on someone who is cheating on you but as a human you cannot forget when she or he is cheating on you.

  • @johntc8840
    @johntc8840 2 года назад +41

    Very good point about forgiveness and trust. My wife didn't cheat on me, but she has lied to me about major things. She confessed a while back and I forgave her, but it's very hard to trust her.

  • @homerdadon6363
    @homerdadon6363 2 года назад +153

    I cheated on my wife and I hurt her heart and trust. I hate myself right now. I wish I never brought this on my family

    • @gee_ruiz
      @gee_ruiz 2 года назад +16

      On the same boat

    • @nikolai5012
      @nikolai5012 Год назад +11

      Did you confess your sin?

    • @l.d.s7059
      @l.d.s7059 Год назад +8

      Yes me to brother . I did it a month ago

    • @patagoniabear
      @patagoniabear Год назад +2

      Same

    • @homerdadon6363
      @homerdadon6363 Год назад +6

      @@patagoniabear we're getting past it...k learned a valuable lesson.
      You'll be okay... give it time

  • @heavenseatemperor3628
    @heavenseatemperor3628 4 года назад +136

    It's really difficult to forgive someone who cheats on you!

    • @evertola3598
      @evertola3598 3 года назад

      interesting points ,if anyone else is searching for what to do if he cheated on you try Mackorny Erase Enemy Blueprint (do a google search )?
      It is a great one off product for discovering a simple technique to get your ex back without the headache. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my co-worker got cool success with it.

    • @okgoodlol2288
      @okgoodlol2288 3 года назад +35

      You see how much jesus loves us we cheat on him almost everyday and he’s letting us be forgiven

    • @starcityrc3298
      @starcityrc3298 2 года назад +28

      Look at it this way. We Cheat in God with our Sin.
      Yet we can be forgiven.
      We have to be like Christ

    • @eljepalabay6517
      @eljepalabay6517 2 года назад +7

      Right thats why im here right now.. wife cheated on me and even want to separate from me and go with the other guy

    • @europeinvasion3057
      @europeinvasion3057 2 года назад +11

      @@eljepalabay6517 if shes want to go, its time to go

  • @JessikaCruz87
    @JessikaCruz87 15 дней назад +2

    I’ve been lied too and betrayed and cheated on my heart hurts deeply but I truly forgive and know GOD is much bigger than all of this

  • @TheLordofallCreation
    @TheLordofallCreation 9 лет назад +107

    Everything I believe that Pastor John has stated is good, but I would like to add, I believe the sinning partner should, after confession before God, confess it in the presence not only of the offended party, but also before Biblical leadership that can hold him or her accountable for there repentance and to the offended party in their forgivness. Just a thought!

    • @emokiriemiabednegoabed2844
      @emokiriemiabednegoabed2844 5 лет назад +2

      Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later.

    • @ambernectar3158
      @ambernectar3158 3 года назад +4

      I strongly disagree. You simner is not too be humiliated.
      Our Lord Jesus never said he would humiliate us first.
      The true repent sinner knows
      I love you but change your heart
      Do not be the first to cast that stone
      Pray for yourself for you alone will stand before the judgement seat of our Mighty Righteousness God
      🙏🙏🙏🙏 AMEN 🙏🙏🙏🙏

    • @nikolai5012
      @nikolai5012 Год назад +17

      @@ambernectar3158 It's not for public humiliation. Often, confessing to brethren is a good way to overcome the sin by acknowledging it in the presence of others; kind of how baptism is a public confession of faith

    • @paulinek1858
      @paulinek1858 Год назад +3

      What if a husband is a un believing man and what some one only cheated doing phone and not physically contacting the other place

    • @user-pd9ju5dk5s
      @user-pd9ju5dk5s Год назад +2

      ​@@ambernectar3158Hiding your sin is not encouraged

  • @angloaust1575
    @angloaust1575 11 месяцев назад +9

    It's a valid reason for divorce
    If one forgives and stays together it could happen again
    If husband and wife aren't doing things together the
    Temptation is always there
    Best to stay single and be free!

    • @krichard_
      @krichard_ 2 месяца назад +1

      Incorrect, Paul says to try and mend the relationship before divorce, if you aren’t Christian is didn’t matter though

  • @MMAGUY13
    @MMAGUY13 2 года назад +27

    Never take back a cheater it is top of the list of wickedness.

  • @robertmatos4553
    @robertmatos4553 2 года назад +64

    I’m in the process of divorce bc of this situation. My wife doesn’t want me to leave but I’m have great trouble, not so much forgiving but having episodes then going through sadness whenever tv talks about cheating and just everything in the world is sexualized. So I don’t know if I should work on my marriage or move forward. I am so broken. Praise God that through Jesus and His Spirit, I am at a peace but sometimes flesh kicks in and I break. My issue is not love for my wife bc I love her soooo so much, it’s trust and always wondering in the back of my mind when a text goes off, or if she travels or if she’s running late, etc. I hate my mind messing with me that way. I don’t know what to do.

    • @robertmatos4553
      @robertmatos4553 2 года назад +20

      @@rfq84 thanks Rox and I pray the same for you. I know I’m Gods eyes sin is sin but in my mind sexual immorality is like at the top of the list of most hurtful things. Divorce is literally like going through a death.

    • @MMAGUY13
      @MMAGUY13 2 года назад +8

      She wicked dump her she can have a husband or cheat not both.

    • @robertespinoza7654
      @robertespinoza7654 Год назад +3

      Do you have fb or insta? I'd like to have a conversation with you brother because I've gone through this.

    • @anyameledamian1874
      @anyameledamian1874 Год назад +1

      I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope you are doing better now..

    • @leeneyM
      @leeneyM Год назад +2

      I feel so sorry for what you'd been through. I hope now your heart is filled with gratitude to God's mercy and grace.

  • @ocesmekanics3831
    @ocesmekanics3831 3 года назад +20

    This just hits so close to my heart right now that im about to forward this to my partner

    • @raquelv6856
      @raquelv6856 2 года назад +4

      With God all is possible.

    • @andersspencer
      @andersspencer 3 месяца назад

      I'm going to forward this to my girlfriend too!
      I'm so heartbroken rn 💔

  • @Shockwave117yt
    @Shockwave117yt 2 месяца назад +5

    I'm thinking of it like this We technically Cheat on Jesus everyday yet he forgets and forgives us so who am I not to forgive.

  • @n3wy3ar83
    @n3wy3ar83 3 месяца назад +4

    I just found out my wife kissed another man last night . We’ve been going to marriage counseling because it’s been rocky and man my heart is so broken. I feel worthless and stupid and just so full of despair . We have two wonderful daughters and she did tell me the day after it happened which I appreciate but the hurt is so deep.

  • @oatneil
    @oatneil 5 лет назад +41

    I thought she was faithful and she told me she was cheating and didn't want to stop or work on the marriage. She didn't want to go to marriage counseling or do anything about our relationship. She had a 'special connection' with the player she was cheating on me with. She forced a divorce and abandoned the marriage. She has now been living with another man for nearly 3 years now and is pregnant with his child. This is the same person that refused to go to premarital counseling and assured me that marriage was the best decision for us. The same person that wanted me to get a vasectomy because she claimed she didn't want children. What I'm saying is that there are fraudulent, worthless, destructive people out there that do not deserve either our respect or faithfulness. They lie, cheat, and do whatever they want without regard for who they damage along the way. I'll never let another piece of trash like this into my life and I'm glad she cheated and divorced me. I'm not waiting for her to straighten her life out and come back. She's nothing but a fake, lying con artist. I just hope other people out there can be real enough to admit the truth about fraudulent spouses and can move on confidently and find a genuine spouse to remarry. Nobody needs to suffer this way and consider eternity when they've been conned this way. In all honesty, because of what I've been through, I'm not going to waste time with someone who chooses to cheat on me. I'm not going to try so hard to make it work out. I'm not going to pray so hard for God to save my marriage. I'm going to wish them well and move on with my life. I really do hope God changes them and teaches them maturity for their future relationships. Does God really hate divorce more than He loves you? Would He want you to risk disease and destruction on your life for the sake of your marriage? There's a lot of fake people out there making fake promises. It would be wise to discern the truth from fantasy and find a real marriage partner.

    • @SuperFifth05
      @SuperFifth05 5 лет назад +12

      The Lord will make them suffer 7 times.... It just takes time sometimes it comes early sometimes it comes later but they will suffer for causing the break of a covenant of God...

    • @nukapuka
      @nukapuka 5 лет назад +5

      @@shawnmorse1757 A women is not to tell a man what to do anyways.
      Be smart.

    • @stephanieduncan9023
      @stephanieduncan9023 4 года назад

      Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it has become a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it .I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work , all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this great Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744

    • @gloriaheshiwani3963
      @gloriaheshiwani3963 4 года назад +1

      Hopefully you are now happy. I really wish you well and pray you get hold of your right rib

    • @bethestandardallday
      @bethestandardallday 2 года назад

      You’re wrong. Those have been forgiven forgive. God hates divorce. Remarriage is adultery. You can’t change what the Bible says.. you dont want to pray and forgive your wife? Cool. Doesn’t sounds like youre a Christian. You sound like a con-artist yourself. Stop playing pretend, you’re not about that life either.

  • @tg3080
    @tg3080 3 месяца назад +6

    My husband cheated on me. He didn’t ask for my forgiveness. He wasn’t pleading with me to stay or said that he was going to change. Sadly, I’ve been on my knees for him. Begging him to work on our relationship and take me back. I haven’t treated him the best and I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’m trying to turn to god hoping and praying we can make it work but I’m not sure that we can.

    • @joankidon4626
      @joankidon4626 Месяц назад +1

      It's a difficult situation. May God lead in your marriage 🙏🙏

    • @daninedoane7002
      @daninedoane7002 Месяц назад

      Don't blame yourself. He had a choice.

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 6 дней назад

      There you said it… You treated him like crap. Move on lady!!

  • @brandyyolidio4213
    @brandyyolidio4213 5 лет назад +29

    Husband cheated for 3 years. He allowed this woman to disrespect me and curse me and he did nothing when they were the ones cheating. My heart hurt more regarding the non protection than the sex...In our bed smh

    • @eleanoreebrahim3142
      @eleanoreebrahim3142 4 года назад +7

      Painful going through the same thing

    • @krogardious
      @krogardious 2 года назад +7

      That is heart breaking, I am sorry.
      He will go to hell from the sounds of it, no remorse for years of evil actions.
      Leave him, and forget his memory.

    • @elysianicole5542
      @elysianicole5542 Год назад

      God bless you. you are strong. I pray for Jesus to heal you!

    • @333apples
      @333apples Год назад +4

      We should want everyone to come to the Lord and to truly be forgiven and changed, I hope that when you read this you are in a much better place in the Lord. I just don’t think is right for us to console ourselves with the thought of our cheating husband or wife to go to hell. Hell is a horrible excruciating place without peace and constant suffering. God delights in exercising lovingkindness and we aught to want people saved no matter what, because this is what our Lord Jesus died for, that whomsoever believes in Him shall not perish, we aught to every day be more like him in being forgiving for He has forgiven us much.

    • @kunntakentay
      @kunntakentay 4 месяца назад

      This same thing happened to me (as a man) and I threatened to beat the affair partner’s a** only to find out God had already punished him for mocking me. Strange and cruel world we live in

  • @gb-yn2re
    @gb-yn2re Год назад +5

    The truth is that every situation is different, and some folk cheat repeatedly, and in that case it is abuse. Repentance is the only way to restoration, without that the other person will act out in further abuse. You need help by a well trained Counsellor. Remember that King David murdered a man to cover up such a sin. The fact is this is not someone healthy. In many cases men who cheat on their wives are also abusive in other ways, emotionally, verbally, mentally, they find a way to make her responsible for their double life.

  • @NunyaBitness-xq9ed
    @NunyaBitness-xq9ed 5 месяцев назад +7

    Leave them. Knowing that the cheating spouse gets to keep the memories of their sex with another is enough to leave them.

    • @kurtpunchesthings2411
      @kurtpunchesthings2411 4 месяца назад +3

      yea that's really it
      it doesn't matter how sorry they are
      doesn't matter why they did it
      hell even if they never did it again that also doesn't matter
      because they still did it and despite what some Copium merchants would try and make you believe
      a married couple never truly gets over infidelity they just sweep it under the carpet
      because every single day that person who got cheated on will look at their spouse and remember what they did
      every
      single
      day
      often multiple times a day
      it's better genuinely better for everyone to just move on

  • @lighthouse8408
    @lighthouse8408 5 лет назад +60

    how can they become one again of one partner has become one with another person??

    • @nukapuka
      @nukapuka 4 года назад +27

      No go. Is the only time where God sais that divorce is allowed.

    • @efthimios
      @efthimios 4 года назад +14

      Happened to my wife - o can see it working if she genuinely was remorseful - and wanted to love me ,
      Would help
      Make marriage even better -
      Forgive as Christ forgiveness and love our spouse that fell for devils lies and temptations

    • @CCbat33
      @CCbat33 4 года назад +8

      Herakles I’m not married, but on my first serious relationship (at age 20), I got cheated on. It was my first real love and I gave myself to her so purely and innocently that when I found out it crushed me. It felt like official end of my childhood/teenage hood, where the world seemed so perfect, and the real and dark world of adulthood arrived . I “forgave” her, only to realize later on that the relationship was a farse and that I could never let go of my grudges, not to say, she never felt real remorse and kept doing it until I left her. It destroyed my innocence. I’m terrified of that happening again if I marry. I just couldn’t do it.

    • @user-cz4tk2vr9i
      @user-cz4tk2vr9i 3 года назад +2

      Yeah, I agree with this sentiment, how can they become as one with you when they had no problems going behind your back and cheated on you.

    • @AndyJMacLeod
      @AndyJMacLeod 3 года назад +3

      @@user-cz4tk2vr9i I was cheated on after 19 years of marriage, and we divorced. After two months, she found another guy and a year later she married him. So I’ve been through it. Now, I’m examining the Scriptures to find-out if I am really free to remarry... I currently believe I am (based on Matthew 19:9 etc). But, God’s plan is for marriage for life, and our God is love. He is the God of reconciliation and redemption. Christ died on the cross for our sins, allowing unfaithful sinners to be reconciled to Him. There are so many pictures of that spirit in the Bible... Again, I believe he allows divorce in the case of adultery (despite John Piper’s view), but that is not his heart.

  • @discipleofchrist5217
    @discipleofchrist5217 2 года назад +11

    So true now if I can only get the demons off my wife so she can confess this way it would be amazing as she has slept with many men and much larger than me after 3 kids & 28 years later she's throwing it all away behind this new person she has become that everyone around her sees except for her.
    May God bless this message & may the lord my God put it on her heart to see this video I have shared & maybe she will see the truth. I have truly forgiven her but she nore the things she says even makes any since anymore.

    • @trialsemail2
      @trialsemail2 Год назад +2

      I seem to be confused why you put down “many men much larger than me”.
      You do understand (if you are talking about what I think you are here) that size isn’t the problem. These sorts of behaviors are because of rebellion and walking in flesh. Size doesn’t matter, the connection, love, and affection is what matters. Cheating/affairs, or rebound relationships are all about passion. And it fizzles out and dies pretty quickly.

  • @MarioAlan32
    @MarioAlan32 Год назад +4

    I was faithful for five years. When I finally did betray her it was already a month or two after. But I confessed and she acted as betrayal and suicidal.
    Only because we were already failing in the relationship that was toxic did I acted on it shamefully.
    She finally betrayed me again recently for the 100th time over the years, this time she is almost due with my child and I'm just not feeling pain anymore of the betrayal.
    I don't know how I didn't have self respect to leave at first but I finally learned to accept Christ to help me heal.
    Yet this feeling lead me to be something else than good because I have hate in my heart.
    I hope she is happy with the new partner (s) she is with because I don't know how to live a life without being able raise my own blood if she keeps my newborn boy away from me. My life is a mess and all I can ask is for prayers.❤️

    • @Kalamkartoos
      @Kalamkartoos 6 месяцев назад

      Hey Brother, hope you are doing okay now. You have been through very difficult phase in you life. Always remember God is the most kind, forgive yourself first and ask forgiveness from the Almighty. I'm sure things will be better at some point of time.

  • @clarafukiau7083
    @clarafukiau7083 5 лет назад +28

    Men think once the have apologized that's it. But, forgetting the damage the have caused. If you cheated asked for forgiveness but you can still chat with other women, lust over women pic on social media and still justify your behavior that means you haven't learn yet and he will still do it or is doing it. True repentance is needed unfortunately most of their repentance are not true the only reason they asked for forgiveness is because they got caught....

    • @mrhernandez8256
      @mrhernandez8256 5 лет назад +6

      Goes both ways

    • @oatneil
      @oatneil 5 лет назад +3

      Yeah, this isn't a gender issue. Women do this too.

  • @Kosomapeter
    @Kosomapeter Месяц назад +1

    It's just hard to bear. All the pictures in my head.
    Thank u for the video. I'll share her.

  • @lotusflowerhighh3968
    @lotusflowerhighh3968 9 месяцев назад +6

    My husband did it again. Idk what to think anymore. I’m rummaging through these videos looking for some kind of sign. 💔

  • @dr.doolittle5617
    @dr.doolittle5617 5 лет назад +20

    What a sweet man. My husband isn't even sorry. He's pretending that I'm the one that is wrong. Well. I guess I'll watch some more videos. I hope somehow it's okay to get a divorce because i feel like I'm already dead and went to hell.

    • @norma3753
      @norma3753 5 лет назад +2

      Trust me you'll get over him it only takes eight months

    • @ngkahmingmonash
      @ngkahmingmonash 3 года назад +1

      Don't despair. Pray to God so that you truly believe in the gospel and are saved by Lord's grace. He loves you, guides you, gives you eternal life and hope. He is sovereign over all, even all your problems including your marriage. Seek Him and you will find Him, as He promised.

    • @ngkahmingmonash
      @ngkahmingmonash 3 года назад +2

      Remember that true hope and joy are found in the Lord, not yourself. There is hope as the battle is already won by the loving and righteous God:) I pray that you are doing fine now.

    • @homerdadon6363
      @homerdadon6363 2 года назад

      awwww so sorry you feel like that, I hope you feel better now

    • @nikolai5012
      @nikolai5012 Год назад

      You could divorce him if he is unrepentant (Matt. 5:31-32)

  • @awsal-jashami968
    @awsal-jashami968 Год назад +6

    I'd forgive, but not forget .. probably never trust again!

  • @ambernectar3158
    @ambernectar3158 3 года назад +8

    The best and truthful response. However, Jesus doesn't let us suffer for yesrs. Remember adulterery can be a reason for divorce, which should be the last solution.
    Always put it to God first.
    Men project emotionally
    The Lord with wisdom, understanding, knowledge
    Reproof
    Love
    Forgiveness
    Repent Weep Humble yourself before the Lord
    Wait The Lord, Jesus Christ always answers on time
    Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @valdiguintiliano5514
    @valdiguintiliano5514 3 года назад +3

    I found out the worst way possible. He never told me and moved on with our life, so broken and hurt...

  • @elviragutierrez8396
    @elviragutierrez8396 Год назад +4

    This guy speaks truth.
    Finally, FINALLY........

  • @orishaphotos481
    @orishaphotos481 3 года назад +12

    Confession doesn't help. Its over done. Move on

  • @lyesterday
    @lyesterday Месяц назад +2

    I've been bed ridden for 1.5 years do to an illness. This week I found out my husband has cheated on me with porn and texting and hiding what he is doing for 5 years. I feel broken idk what to do.
    We were always on the same page about porn and sex but he lied about everything. I married a wolf in sheep's clothing :,(

    • @taylormckinney2014
      @taylormckinney2014 Месяц назад +1

      This exact thing happened to me. I want to encourage you in this time ♡ when it happened to me a few years ago, I ended up losing myself, making a lot of bad decisions, and doing wrong after because I was so young, hurt/betrayed, and lost after. I let darkness fill my life and control me for awhile. Then I realized I had to walk in light again and return to God and face things I had done out of pain. I know it is hard but most importantly don't lose yourself or chase dark things out of result of the pain. Lift it up to God and keep yourself centered. I will pray for you ♡ try and forgive your partner and rebuild trust, yet if it isn't mutual find someone else.

  • @nathangraham280
    @nathangraham280 5 месяцев назад +1

    I confessed to my wife, and she still trusts me. Hasn't threatened to leave. Maybe we should talk about it, we don't, but what is there left to say. It's just so profound, but we talk about what our kids will be like, our future. I don't know, but I feel like I'm harder on myself than she me. She is my love, risked her and for what? When I told her and there was no way she would have known, I let her go. But she came back to me, and me her. It's probably not going to be this easy, and I bet my actions have hurt her deeply. I just want her to tell me how she feels, even when we talk about pain such as this.

  • @tylmoongate9781
    @tylmoongate9781 2 года назад +3

    THANK YOU SO MUCH PASTOR.

  • @fidelinafranco2144
    @fidelinafranco2144 3 года назад +4

    Thank you so much I pray everyday 🙏🙏🙏

  • @dan-lansingmi9169
    @dan-lansingmi9169 День назад

    let me tell you cheaters something. If you are cheating on your spouse, get a friend or counselor to stop and hold yourself accountable. Confess to God. Think about how this may harm your spouse if you confess to him or her. It has devastated my life (depression, lack of trust, withdrawal from friends) with what I was told. So straighten your sh*t up and starting loving your spouse like you likely once did. But don't harm them anymore.

  • @arg09_20
    @arg09_20 Год назад +6

    What if the spouse doesn’t want to know the extent of the cheating because it would hurt them more and make it harder to forgive you and rebuild the marriage?

    • @trialsemail2
      @trialsemail2 Год назад +1

      You need to seek Godly counsel. I’ll be honest, finding out about my husbands affair is making this more difficult and painful. I sometimes wish I didn’t know.

    • @dan-lansingmi9169
      @dan-lansingmi9169 День назад

      @@trialsemail2 Same here. I wish my wife never confessed to me with our Pastor in the room. The pastor convinced her to confess regardless what was to follow, ie. divorce. I wanted to kill her lover, boss. How this has devastated me, depression, lack of trust for anybody, withdraw from friends, etc.

  • @2legitTrades
    @2legitTrades 6 лет назад +6

    Wow this was heavy... needed to hear this

  • @mrs.cathrinehdz5213
    @mrs.cathrinehdz5213 3 месяца назад

    I felt like i was being forced somehow and i took him to a church he took communion even and i asked the priest to pray for me. Then i asked the priest to pray for him… the guy protested and i insisted. Everything changed whatever spell he cast on me was broken and i wanted to go home. The guy started having problems every time he sinned. 😢im sad it happened. Theres dark magic in the world thank God for his light

  • @mariasanchez4021
    @mariasanchez4021 3 года назад +5

    Thank you I needed to hear this.

  • @eastonjones3571
    @eastonjones3571 2 года назад +10

    I cheated and I just told my wife yesterday after a friend confronted me about it! It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and this is the saddest time of my life! What I wouldn’t give to make a better choice and change my past! I would let anyone take anything and everything from me to change the past and get to have my wife back in my life. I am disappointed in myself, lost and heartbroken!😭 What am I!?

    • @kendianorman3670
      @kendianorman3670 2 года назад +7

      Why did you do it?

    • @raquelv6856
      @raquelv6856 2 года назад +6

      Remorse is a step towards repentance. This world is not perfect. We have to forgive ourselves first. How are you holding up right now?

    • @chelseaamara7218
      @chelseaamara7218 Год назад

      What you are? A Trashy man. But thank God she left. She deserves better.

    • @leeneyM
      @leeneyM Год назад +6

      Dear brother, that's when we come to the understanding that we do need a Savior! Hope now you are restored in Him and become a man of God.

    • @gb-yn2re
      @gb-yn2re Год назад +2

      you are right for repenting.

  • @aaronhaskins9782
    @aaronhaskins9782 Год назад +2

    according to you, Mr Pastor, God made them cheat for His Glory, ... did you ever consider that's blasphemy?

  • @mrhernandez8256
    @mrhernandez8256 5 лет назад +12

    What if you did forgive? And it happened again.. do emotional affairs count as a way to divorce?

    • @oatneil
      @oatneil 5 лет назад +11

      They're just taking your forgiveness for granted. Emotional affairs are a gateway to sexual affairs. The pastor in this video doesn't believe in divorce for any reason, and the same can be argued about Jesus. There's a saying that you have reasons for divorce after the first week of marriage, but you have to find reasons to stay in the marriage. Nobody can tell you what to do in your situation though. Jesus wasn't a push over and neither should you be either. Loving your spouse and loving God is similar. It comes down to showing respect. As humans, we reach a tipping point, when there's so much disrespect that our hearts harden and we need to back off. If we continue to open that part of heart up to someone who constantly abuses it, eventually we are disconnected. Although I believe forgiveness is a necessity, I don't believe reconciliation is always possible. A lot of it depends on them, but more so what you're capable of tolerating. Are you really married if your spouse does everything to show that they're not?

    • @johnmagee3292
      @johnmagee3292 3 года назад +1

      @@oatneil what if the cheating spouse is fully repentant and has made changes in their life over a long period of time? Would you advocate for the marriage to be reconciled in that instance?

    • @kurtpunchesthings2411
      @kurtpunchesthings2411 4 месяца назад +1

      if you forgave them and they did it again
      you were stupid to forgive them in the first place defying expert opinion which would be to divorce

  • @carrtooonhayea3392
    @carrtooonhayea3392 10 месяцев назад +1

    I just wish my husband would humbly make me feel like getting another women pregnant wasn't his main goal and would humbly make feel like in time I can trust again because Monday I plan to divorce him

  • @HasanainTusar
    @HasanainTusar 6 месяцев назад +2

    That's why Allah forbidden this act.Allah knows which is good for us and which is bad for us.

  • @Geronimo2u
    @Geronimo2u Год назад +1

    Sadly, there are many issues before one person and a marriage seeks out attention and love from another person outside the marriage. This does not mean the person is bad to me, but it does show me that there are problems, or there were problems within this marriage to begin with. When they are not focused on or worked on, and then, of course, the natural thing to do for one partner is to find another person to create this triangle. I don’t feel God has anything to do with this hot people do, and you have to work on it with your own self and see where you are. We cannot make them feel guilty or shame in order to promote healing.

    • @feliciaforde5750
      @feliciaforde5750 3 месяца назад +2

      There are issues in every marriage. Most people don’t cheat. They set boundaries, work on the issues, or leave respectfully and heal before jumping into another relationship. There is never an excuse to go outside of the marriage

    • @soulhappynails2055
      @soulhappynails2055 25 дней назад +1

      And sometimes the marriage is actually good, but the one who cheats hasn't healed from all of life's traumas and is acting out/seeking further comfort.

  • @kurtpunchesthings2411
    @kurtpunchesthings2411 4 месяца назад +1

    this may seem strange but if i was in a position where hypothetically im married and my wife cheats on me
    i don't honestly care how sorry she is about what she did
    i don't care why she did it
    because no matter how you try and slice the cake she did it and nothing she can ever do or say will ever change that
    most things in life i would forgive
    this is not one of them

  • @Ngan.marianguyen
    @Ngan.marianguyen Год назад

    Thank you Pastor 🙏🏼

  • @rtholman83
    @rtholman83 5 месяцев назад

    Confess to whom? The spouse, or the spouse who of the one you cheated with?

  • @ferdiremo
    @ferdiremo 8 месяцев назад

    The betrayed spouse should stay in contact with the cheater while being with his new partner.

  • @Lucius_murrius
    @Lucius_murrius 11 месяцев назад +2

    Punishment is life in prison or hang by the rope

  • @chadjensen48
    @chadjensen48 2 года назад +1

    There is only one answer, divorce

  • @efthimios
    @efthimios 4 года назад +12

    My wife cheated andhad affaor - I was hurt and damaged but my wife says she doesn’t feel
    Bad and she said i deserved it because she was mad with me.
    I told her I forgive you and love you and want to save our marriage but now she wants to leave for her affair partner - she’s a Christian and a church school teacher it’s blown my mind

    • @JBN011A
      @JBN011A 4 года назад +12

      I do not know your situation but based on your sharing I would say, gather the strength to allow her to go. Do not fight to keep her. Its harder said than done, I wish the pastor could talk about when it's ok to let go. You have done your part, the rest is up to her and God. Like God allows us to decide whether to believe in Him or not, allow her to choose to stay or go, don't force/convince/manipulate her to stay.

    • @efthimios
      @efthimios 4 года назад +3

      John Nkume your right about forgiving her - letting her go is easy she just has to file and move out .. she’s still confused bouncing back and fourth from leaving .. but she doesn’t even look st it with remorse.

    • @stephanieduncan9023
      @stephanieduncan9023 4 года назад

      Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it has become a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it and now I believe the saying that “The Truth Will Set You Free” cos I feel better and free now after knowing the truth. I got help from Cyber Hack as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp , Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work , all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this great Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +15303784744

    • @goodcitizen3999
      @goodcitizen3999 4 года назад +4

      You don't know who she really is, she is lying to you because it works for her why would she start telling the truth?
      A Christian is in deed not words. She is willing to serve her lust without shame and push your family aside for her moments of pleasure, and doing this in your face or behind your back brings her pleasure, that is evil. Get her out of your life and start working on your issues so you are well and whole and a good man then if you meet someone who is all so well and whole great you can walk through life together. You don't need someone you can't live without or needs you to be complete. You are in a healthy relationship if would like to spend time with someone and they are complete on their own like you.

    • @christinacottrell6505
      @christinacottrell6505 9 месяцев назад

      Same thing is happening to me

  • @nukapuka
    @nukapuka 5 лет назад +7

    Isn't a marriage broken in the eyes of God once the blood covenant has been broken with the spouse?

    • @brunoferreira119
      @brunoferreira119 4 года назад +5

      No, marriage covenant is not broken in the eyes of God, if it were you be able estou remarry after a betrayal, which is not the case as stated in the Bible. Death of either one of the spouse is what breaks that covenant. That is how serious a thing marriage is.

    • @danyshampun5495
      @danyshampun5495 2 года назад +3

      @@brunoferreira119 no you are allowed to divorce under that circumstance

  • @nataliependergraft8071
    @nataliependergraft8071 6 месяцев назад +1

    Question when they confess to God and share with you they cheated and are sorry. Do they or should go into details or specific details?

    • @ekathompson1856
      @ekathompson1856 3 месяца назад +2

      😂😂 I'm also wondering. I am in a relationship that is supposed to lead to marriage by December. I agreed on no premarital sex and he coincided. Just last week, my partner confessed that he has been cheating and that his commitment was just 85%, but that he's now ready to give in 100%. To an extent I was surprised because this is a person that cannot stay without communicating with me for a day. Infidelity is my deal breaker, which I've been stating clearly and which according to him, he despises as well. I decided not to judge him. However, we still talk, but I have been silent since then.
      I believe he doesn't even know what's on my mind because I didn't nag or show any sign of betrayal. My calmness is giving me more strength. At this point, I see him as a weak person and I definitely believe I deserve a spiritually yoked individual.

  • @Star-bp5jj
    @Star-bp5jj 2 месяца назад +1

    DIVORCE !!!! LEGAL IN GODS EYES!!!!!

  • @AlexRamirez-gw7fs
    @AlexRamirez-gw7fs Год назад +2

    My wife an affair but she doesn't want to stop what do I do

    • @DianaKay81
      @DianaKay81 Год назад +2

      I'm so sorry for what what you're going through. I was there. Bring your wife before the Lord in prayer, only God can convict hearts and transform her into the wonderful woman you fell in love with. Also, it's hard, but keep loving her, be kind to her, some people stay together during this process, however, if she's unrepentant in this moment, you may choose to love her from afar and continue being kind to her. Let God guide you on what to do and how to do it. Let God know your desire to restore your marriage. I'm rooting for you and praying for a supernatural healing of your heart and marriage!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @christinacottrell6505
    @christinacottrell6505 9 месяцев назад

    Mine is still seeing the person and is moving in with that person! We have 3 children together.

  • @adrianandrews4987
    @adrianandrews4987 3 месяца назад

    Greetings sir I had failed God and I have failed my wife is there forgiveness I can't pray anymore I can't read the Bible anymore I feel try sir I have failed Him I have Failed the one who cleanse me from sin I need prayers sir

  • @orishaphotos481
    @orishaphotos481 3 года назад

    You cant stay together. You have understand. DNA is forever.

  • @davidmetcalfe4318
    @davidmetcalfe4318 5 лет назад

    Thank you xxxxx

  • @alesciatruelove6058
    @alesciatruelove6058 10 месяцев назад

    How can I heal after being cheated on?, How can I trust again?

  • @user-nn1mj5en3c
    @user-nn1mj5en3c 10 месяцев назад

    Totally Agree

  • @joh3628
    @joh3628 4 года назад +10

    So many cheating wives.

    • @jackanthony976
      @jackanthony976 4 года назад +3

      Beware of the woman who paints her eyes and her lips..as she is up to no good and is being used as an agent of Satan.

    • @Smarty2able
      @Smarty2able 8 месяцев назад

      I didn't cheat on my ex boyfriend even though he treated me poorly. The thought of temptation came but never acted on it.

  • @aj578
    @aj578 3 года назад +2

    The part that's kind of miserable is if you can't go back to your partner, you got to wait till they die, our a letter of divorce between both you. You cannot be remarried repeat!!! (you can not get remarried)

  • @Handleneeds3ormorecharacters84

    Confession is selfish, it their hearts for no reason, youre destroying two lives when one is destroy already. Dont put that on them for 20+ years of heart ache

  • @kahhweelee7539
    @kahhweelee7539 3 года назад

    What if they don't want to think it is all that wrong and wait till near the end like near the death bed or when it does not matter anymore to confess. Will that still work? What is true confession. What is true repentance?

    • @danyshampun5495
      @danyshampun5495 2 года назад

      If they mean it from their heart but if they just go their whole lives saying I’ll tell him on my death bed so nothing will happen it’s not genuine repentance

  • @danhill5428
    @danhill5428 6 месяцев назад

    Pleading/begging for forgiveness is not based on scripture. Fine if that’s what you believe but at least give context/explanation for doing so since it is not found in scripture.
    Also, there is different degrees of repentance suggested here. Also not biblical.

  • @p_three_beatzproductions4479
    @p_three_beatzproductions4479 Год назад

    What if they were unrepentant? And won’t stop?

  • @davewhaley6917
    @davewhaley6917 Год назад +1

    Divorce them and stay single

  • @georgianpeters1073
    @georgianpeters1073 4 года назад

    So if it was brought in the open and the spouse continues to do it because he wants to continue doing it and also wants to hold on to his or her marriage.
    What can be done?

    • @Perfectlyradiant_
      @Perfectlyradiant_ 4 года назад +5

      You have biblical grounds for divorce. If the person is not sorry and keeps doing it definitely talk to God. But the answer should become clear.

  • @ih8mcfly
    @ih8mcfly 3 года назад +8

    How is it fair , your spouse cheats on you, and he/she gets forgiveness from God.
    You’ve been cheated on, you’re angry and find it difficult to forgive, and you go to Hell for it.

    • @dalaicavalcanti8106
      @dalaicavalcanti8106 3 года назад +7

      Forgiveness does not require you to reestablish the relationship
      You can forgive someone but that doesn’t mean you have to be buddies with them or anything

    • @ih8mcfly
      @ih8mcfly 3 года назад +1

      @@thegreenhipster leaving her doesn’t cure the resentment though ?
      How is it fair to be put in such a situation and then be punished for it?

    • @motorcap2381
      @motorcap2381 2 года назад

      @@ih8mcfly God had chosen whom He wants to save before the foundation of the world, all mankind except Jesus Christ had been condemned and supposed to be born directly into hell and suffer eternal destruction the second we came into being, it’s the unimaginable love and mercy of God that we get to be born into earth and live our lives as a probation before the actual execution drops on us, and it is His grace that He had chosen certain numbers of sinners out of all to be saved, to be waived from their sentence, and whom He had chosen He will not cast out, it’s a promise. So the short biblical answer to your question is that as long as you are the chosen one, He forgives.

    • @ih8mcfly
      @ih8mcfly 2 года назад

      @@motorcap2381 am I chosen or not? R u?

    • @AFernandezReborn
      @AFernandezReborn Год назад

      @@dalaicavalcanti8106 pretty much sums my ex.

  • @clearblueskies2331
    @clearblueskies2331 Год назад

    Cheated on husband recently..... but first I need to pray that the Lord give me a true sadness over my sin, b/c the person I cheated with is only just recanting the future we had planned out, due to some prophetic dreams he received from a third-party person who apparently has prophetic inclinations..... it's over only because of that. Not even b/c either one of us truly wanted it to be over..... if anything, the guy I cheated with says he felt great about everything until the sudden prophetic word..... uhhhhh. Gotta pray for a lot, that the Lord make me repentanr for my sin, and restore the feelings I had for my husband.

    • @sonOfTheL1vingGod
      @sonOfTheL1vingGod Год назад +3

      prophetic words don't void God's word!! That was the enemy, repent and return to your first love!! Take accountability

  • @belovedchild2401
    @belovedchild2401 Год назад

    ❤️

  • @justified-by-faithcom
    @justified-by-faithcom 3 года назад

    Are you *100%* sure you're going to Heaven?

  • @bryansy4640
    @bryansy4640 5 лет назад +2

    I did it, I confessed, I did it again and I confessed again. I did it again, now I dont want to confess anymore. I totally hated myself, I said to God, why did He let me live if He saw that I will do those mess. I feel so guilty and dumb. I am a vanity. All I do is to think about my fleshly desire.

    • @Cdray24
      @Cdray24 5 лет назад +9

      You don't want to confess anymore? The devil has won. Don't you think she knows? women are very smart and can feel that you have cheated. They can sense it more than men can. But other than that have you given your life to the LOrd Jesus? Has the Holy Spirit taken residence in your heart? You need to pray for that first. Ask for the Holy spirit to live inside of you, then he can guide your steps and also get deliverance from lust and covetousness. YOu need to do these things or you are just going to keep on cheating and letting the devil fool you into thinking "If i just don't tell my spouse, I will be okay. NO you won't. God saw you, Jesus was right there the whole time when you were sinning. YOu need forgiveness. I pray you take this seriously. THis can affect other parts of your life that you never ever thought of. ANger, Jealousy, murder, rage, bitterness. You have to go to the root cause of the issue. Usually bitterness. Maybe rejection. BUt find it. Keep searching and asking Jesus to find out what caused you to cheat and will he help you to stop. You can't stop without Jesus. Keep praying and stay in faith, your sister in christ.

    • @thoward5641
      @thoward5641 4 года назад +4

      Go get a Christian counselor and do it now.. speaking from experience

    • @wakeup4595
      @wakeup4595 3 года назад +2

      You're right, stop confessing, instead fast in prayer and let God work on you. In the mean time separate and allow her to find a man who is strong in faith and spirit with God and not weak in his flesh. There's no point into confessing if the intentions are to keep doing it. Life is short and you're wasting both your time. God can change anyone, Christ is amazing, open your bible and read.

    • @taylormckinney2014
      @taylormckinney2014 Месяц назад

      It's not over. I and others on here will pray for you. If you want to come away from this temptation and if you want to honor your wife, this is what you need to do.
      1- be honest with her and tell her. Ask what she needs.
      2- get involved with a Christian mens group to hold you accountable and commit to being transparent with your wife.
      3- remove all porn from your life- regular shows, pornography, downgrade to a flipphone if you need, get off social media. (The Bible says if the eye make you sin take it out- surely you could lose the smartphone or passive porn.)
      4-do not put yourself in the tempting scenarios if you cheat at work, change your job, if you meet women at bars or restaraunts with friends don't go, etc.
      Basically, you need to find all the spots of the sexual temptation and sin in your life, renounce them, severe the ties verbally in Jesus name, and walk away from them, until they are no longer an issue. God will give you strength and help you if you do this. He will renew your spirit. David asked God to renew his heart, ask God everyday to do that and he will. Yet YOU have to take initiative and CHOOSE. Make the effort and the hard choices/sacrifices and you will he freed. It has been done on the cross my friend ♡ stay strong

  • @freespirit7450
    @freespirit7450 Год назад

    You notice the bible only speak of a cheating wife not a cheating husband. Makes me wonder if the bible is truly men words not god.

    • @jacobstravail
      @jacobstravail 10 месяцев назад

      You need to read it again, it's in there

    • @freespirit7450
      @freespirit7450 10 месяцев назад

      @@jacobstravail tell me what verse?

  • @leonarddeleonguerrero4183
    @leonarddeleonguerrero4183 Год назад

    Bulls##€

  • @robdonell9915
    @robdonell9915 Год назад

    My wife of 36 years knows I still have a weakness to gaze lovingly at women. She can’t have intercourse since 20 years ago.
    She has granted me permission to visit ladies of the evening; the ground rule: no relationship, just intercourse.

    • @tatianadaniel3569
      @tatianadaniel3569 Год назад +14

      That's still adultery. "In sickness and in health..."